Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:06,312
Ma, I've been married
six months now.
2
00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:10,054
Don't you think it's time
you start bonding
with your grandchildren?
3
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,097
What do you mean,
"what grandchildren"?
4
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:13,272
Kevin and Lindsey,
5
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:14,927
the children
of the woman I married.
6
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:17,317
Suzanne.
7
00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,113
Kevin and Lindsey.
8
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,630
Lindsey's the girl.
9
00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:26,114
Look, that's why you need
to spend more time with them.
10
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:29,246
Besides, Suzanne is working,
I'm working.
11
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,380
This way,
they'll be with family.
12
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:33,342
You heard me. I said family.
13
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:35,729
We'll see you tomorrow.
14
00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,298
Why do we have to
hang out with her?
15
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:45,955
She hates us.
16
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:47,792
She hardly even
knows you guys.
17
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,090
She can't wait to see you.
18
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,136
You didn't say
she doesn't hate us.
19
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:53,791
She just needs a chance
to get to know you.
20
00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:56,226
She hasn't spent
a lot of time around kids.
21
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:57,453
Didn't she raise you?
22
00:00:58,275 --> 00:00:59,485
Like I said,
23
00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:01,577
she hasn't spent
a lot of time around kids.
24
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:03,366
Look, just do me a favor.
25
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:05,721
Don't call her
"Grandma" or "Granny,"
26
00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:08,111
or "Mammy," "Nana,"
nothing like that.
27
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,935
I'm just gonna call her
Mrs. Persons.
28
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:12,333
Call her Marilyn.
29
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:14,246
Once she gets to know you,
she's gonna love you.
30
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:16,251
That's what they said
to Britney Spears' kids.
31
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:20,122
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
32
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,127
♪ Are we there yet?
33
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:25,429
♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
34
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:27,296
♪ Tell me, are we there yet?
35
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:29,088
♪ Are we there yet?
36
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,450
Hey, baby. You okay?
37
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:43,097
No.
38
00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:44,316
I've got a problem.
39
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:45,885
What's up?
40
00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:48,761
I just found out
I have three paid sick days,
41
00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:51,154
and I have to take them now
or lose them.
42
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,978
How is this a problem?
43
00:01:53,025 --> 00:01:55,245
I'm a professional
event planner.
44
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,419
I don't do unplanned well.
45
00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,545
Why don't you just
plan on doing nothing?
46
00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:00,987
Why don't you
just file that under
47
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,303
"you don't know
what you're talking about?"
48
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:04,691
Come here.
49
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,129
Sit down right here.
50
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:13,439
You could just do this
for three days.
51
00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:17,531
ESPN, ESPN2,
ESPN Classic,
ESPN Extreme.
52
00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:19,792
I'll just go in to work.
[EXHALES]
53
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:21,575
Why?
54
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,579
Look, you're the one
always complaining
55
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:26,151
about how tired
and overworked you are.
56
00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:28,669
That was just last night.
57
00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:33,195
Okay, well, I suppose
it could be fun.
58
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,680
You and me, we could go
down to Pike's Place,
59
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,070
grab some breakfast,
do some shopping.
60
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,294
Oh, that sounds great, baby.
61
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:41,514
Good. We'll do it.
62
00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:43,732
I can't. You're the one
with the three days.
63
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:44,822
I got to work.
64
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,691
Use this as your "me" time.
65
00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:50,613
[SIGHS]
66
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:53,828
Okay, well, maybe I can spend
some time with the kids.
67
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:56,959
Go down to Pike's Place,
grab some breakfast,
do some shopping.
68
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:59,052
Oh, that sounds
nice, baby.
69
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,621
Good.Not good.
70
00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:02,618
They're spending
the day with my mother.
71
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,620
Why? She hates them.
72
00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:06,142
KEVIN AND LINDSEY: Told you!
73
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:12,798
[EXASPERATED SIGH]
74
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:14,934
[EXHALES]
75
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,457
Okay, kids, remember,
76
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,160
no touching anything
at Grandma's house.
77
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,029
Oh, they won't be going
anywhere near my house.
78
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,550
I just laid white carpet.
79
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:24,333
We are going to the mall.
80
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:25,638
Go stand by the car.
81
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:27,863
BOTH: Bye, Mom.
82
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,173
Bye, sweethearts.
83
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,646
Sounds like a lot of fun.Hmm.
84
00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:36,391
Uh, Marilyn, these are
just a few important numbers
85
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:37,743
we think you should have.
86
00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,872
My cell, Nick's cell,
home phone, pediatrician...
87
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:42,395
Did you not hear me say
we are going to the mall?
88
00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:46,619
I did, Marilyn,
but bad things
can happen there too.
89
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,581
Um, for the kids,
90
00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:51,969
no sugars before 12:00 noon
or after 3:00.
91
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,844
Look, little bitty woman,
92
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:57,975
if your kids do not know
how to eat by now,
I am not teaching them.
93
00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:01,200
Please make sure
that they wash their hands
for a full 15 seconds...
94
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,371
You do realize I managed
to raise your husband, right?
95
00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:06,293
Barely.
96
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:08,163
Nick told me that
when he was five,
97
00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,604
you put him up for collateral
in a poker game.
98
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,381
I had a full house,
kings high.
99
00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,946
Where was the risk in that?
100
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,000
No, they did not
touch my horn.
101
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,092
I got a number for you.
102
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:24,131
911?
103
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:25,996
Yep, because if
your kids go missing,
104
00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:27,478
I am not looking for 'em.
105
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,186
Mm, that was good.
106
00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:42,717
I can't wait till you have
another day off.
107
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:45,496
Want anything else?
108
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,236
Mm, I'm good.
109
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:50,423
Mm. I got to go to work.
110
00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:51,554
Have a good day, baby.
111
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:57,733
[EXHALES]
112
00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:06,348
[SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYING]
113
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,527
Crap!
114
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,324
[SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYING]
115
00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:21,453
[LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY]
116
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:24,365
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, boy.
117
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:26,461
Hah! Hah!
118
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,626
[SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYING]
119
00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:40,118
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
120
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,352
[EXHALES]
121
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,222
[BALL THUDDING
ACROSS COURT ON TV]
122
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:52,313
Tennis.
123
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,702
[INDISTINCT COMMENTARY ON TV]
124
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,314
[BALL THUDDING RAPIDLY]
125
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,435
Ping-pong.
126
00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,006
[REMOTE CONTROL BEEPS]
127
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:01,544
[WHOOSHING]Skateboarding.
128
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,709
[ELECTRONIC LIGHTSABER
ZIPPING]
129
00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:06,535
[HOLLOW RUMBLING ON TV]
130
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,675
I thought you were working.
131
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:18,027
I am working.
132
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,293
No, you're not.
You're fighting Count Dooku.
133
00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:25,563
No, I'm calibrating
the motion sensors
on the Wii mod
134
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,558
by fighting Count Dooku.
135
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,515
[WEAPONS FIRING ON TV]
136
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,910
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
137
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:35,307
[INDISTINCT VIDEO GAME SOUNDS]
138
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,351
So...
139
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:40,142
Uh, enjoying
your vacation, baby?
140
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,104
No.
141
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,750
I can't just sit around
the house and do nothing.
142
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,055
Why don't you call Gigi?
143
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:47,411
She's at work.[LIGHTSABER ZIPPING]
144
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,150
You just killed Count Dooku.
145
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,113
Sorry.
146
00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:52,409
It's okay.
147
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:54,585
At least I know
the motion sensor's working.
148
00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:55,681
So you're finished?
149
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,199
No, I've got
three more of these.
150
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,332
Oh.
151
00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,944
Why don't you go
see a movie?
152
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,554
Nick, the only thing
more depressing
153
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:02,985
than sitting at home by myself
154
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:04,901
is going to a matinee
by myself.
155
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:07,116
Look, baby, I don't know
what to tell you,
156
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:08,595
but I've got to go to work.
157
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:11,165
I promised my client
I'd have this fixed by tonight.
158
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,483
What kind of client
can't wait a day
for their Wii?
159
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,743
A mother with two kids.
160
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:20,002
Fine. Play with Count Dooku.
161
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:34,279
Okay, people, here's how
it's gonna work.
162
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,023
I'm gonna be at that bar
over there,
163
00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:38,244
catching up with my friends
Jack and coke.
164
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,023
These are for you.
165
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,938
They're prepaid cards.
166
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,123
Really? How much is on them?
167
00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:46,029
That's for me to know
and you to find out.
168
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:49,164
And when they're maxed out,
so are you.
169
00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:50,637
Thanks, Grandma.
170
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:53,117
Say it again and see
what happens to you.
171
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,818
What am I gonna do?
172
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:57,865
Well, you are going
to be in that arcade
right over there.
173
00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:00,522
So I can just play
in the arcade the whole time?
174
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,307
And I can go wherever
I want to in the mall?
175
00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,661
Yes, just be
back here by 3:00,
176
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,091
and be smart.
177
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,877
Watch out for pickpockets.
178
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:10,582
What about
"no talking to strangers"?
179
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,100
Yeah, that too.
180
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,543
What if I meet a overly
friendly guy with a puppy?
181
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,452
Are you gonna be
a problem?
182
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,277
No, I just don't want to
end up on that show
with Chris Hansen.
183
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,275
He spends a lot of time
on the internet.
184
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:23,719
Here.
185
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,161
Thanks, Grandma.
186
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:28,730
I told you,
187
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:30,769
I am not your grandmother.
188
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:34,214
If anything, I'm your
step-grandmother.
189
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,862
Nobody has
a step-grandmother.
190
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:37,645
Exactly.
191
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,001
Goodbye.
192
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,438
Well, if I sound bitchy,
193
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:46,129
it's because
I need the massage.
194
00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:48,177
Next month
doesn't work for me.
195
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,493
Ugh! Thank you. Bye.
196
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:53,529
How come
you're not at work?
197
00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:55,486
Because when I got there,
you weren't there.
198
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,925
I assist you, nobody else.
199
00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:01,632
Well, since you're
not doing anything,
let's hang out.
200
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,371
Who said I wasn't
doing anything?
201
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,762
My plane for Cabo
leaves in two hours.
202
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,586
I just came to borrow
your espadrilles.
203
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,854
Wha... Hold on.
You found out
this morning
204
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,547
that you have
three days off,
205
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:13,514
and you've already booked
a trip to Mexico?
206
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,033
Booked it, comped it,
207
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:18,426
and my name is on the VIP
list for the P. Diddy party.
208
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,780
Holla! [LAUGHS]
209
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:23,351
I couldn't even get
an appointment at Aqua Spa.
210
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:26,998
Oh, girl, you've got
to plan ahead for Aqua Spa.
211
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:30,404
I couldn't plan ahead,
because I didn't know I was
gonna have the time off.
212
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:32,089
Why don't you come
to Mexico with me?
213
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,176
I have kids.
214
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,364
So does Mexico.
215
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:36,616
My kids have plans.
216
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:37,933
I don't know
what the problem is.
217
00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:40,318
You have time off,
and you have a man.
218
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:43,582
Why don't you spend time
with your man?
219
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:44,706
I tried to.
220
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:45,848
He blew me off.
221
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:47,847
Blew you off?
222
00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:49,975
You wanted to?Yes.
223
00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:51,114
And he said...No.
224
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,195
Question.What?
225
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,073
What were you wearing?This.
226
00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:55,115
[EXCLAIMS]
227
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,084
That's your problem.
228
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:04,432
And I think
you know the solution.
229
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:05,653
[LAUGHS]
230
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:06,952
Vamanos!
231
00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:08,167
[LAUGHING]
232
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,791
One, two...
233
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,959
One, two, three.
234
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:16,745
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
235
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,530
♪ When the funk
between my toes
236
00:10:21,577 --> 00:10:23,317
♪ Hits your nose
237
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:24,751
♪ Makes you go
238
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:29,109
♪ Ow, ow, ow, ow!
239
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:31,330
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
240
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,291
Dude, come on.
241
00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:43,076
I'm not paying you guys
ten bucks apiece
242
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,210
just because
I don't need 30 bucks.
243
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,473
We got work to do.
244
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,484
Nick.
245
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:52,958
Oh!
246
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,480
Whoo, honey, slow down.
247
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,743
[LAUGHING] I didn't think
it was gonna work that fast.
248
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,006
Baby?Huh?
249
00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:00,088
You don't understand.Understand what?
250
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:03,178
[SUZANNE SCREAMING LOUDLY]
251
00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:16,499
NICK: Hey, guys.
252
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:17,975
BOTH: Hey, Nick.
253
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:19,065
How was it?
254
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:21,073
It was a little
scary at first,
255
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,325
but then she gave us money
and let us wander around
the mall by ourselves.
256
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:26,688
Yep, turns out, she doesn't
hate us after all.
257
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:30,079
Okay. Go wash up.
Mom fixed dinner.
258
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,134
Cool.All right.
259
00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:34,779
Looks like you had
a good time with the kids, Ma.
260
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:37,614
Don't tell me
what kind of time I had.
261
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,183
I need a glass of water,
262
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,960
and by "water,"
I mean vodka.
263
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:44,086
What's wrong with you?
264
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:47,005
Suzanne's been mad
at me all day.
265
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:49,754
[SCOFFS] Well, if she
worked anywhere near
as hard as I did,
266
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,576
I'd be mad too.
267
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:52,843
That's just it.
268
00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:55,926
She didn't go to work.
She had the day off.
269
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,496
I don't know what kind
of sick game you're playing,
270
00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,943
but the next time
these kids are at home
and their mother is at home,
271
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,291
you let them stay home.
She's their family too.
272
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,161
I didn't want
to change your plans.
273
00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:07,472
What is wrong with you, man?
274
00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:09,419
I had plenty of things
I could've been doing
275
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,467
besides babysitting
those kids at the mall.
276
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:14,433
Now, if they were
my grandkids, [SCOFFS]
it'd be a different story.
277
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,432
They are your grandkids.
278
00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:18,004
You know what I mean.
279
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,351
Boy, where is my vodka?
280
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:21,391
I...
281
00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:33,796
I'm sorry about
what happened earlier.
282
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,410
No, you're not.
I'm sorry.
283
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:37,761
They saw me naked.
284
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,628
You act like it's my fault.
285
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,812
I would never come down
to your job in my drawers
286
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,019
and pose in the doorway
287
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,847
and then get mad
when everybody stared at me.
288
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:49,642
It is not the same thing.
289
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,471
I don't work in the garage.
290
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,080
Just because
my office is at home
291
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:56,692
doesn't mean
I'm not at work.
292
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,172
You don't see Michelle Obama
293
00:12:58,212 --> 00:12:59,872
waltzing around
the Oval Office
in her panties.
294
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:06,388
So, now you're the President
of the United States?
295
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:08,397
You just have to pretend
I'm not here.
296
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,270
Now, my workday is over.
297
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,102
Get off of me.
298
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:19,584
I'm still pretending
you're not here.
299
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:22,284
Kevin, Lindsey,
dinner is ready!
300
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:34,245
How come you're not eating?
301
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:35,951
I'm not hungry.Me neither.
302
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,159
We ate.
303
00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:39,037
I specifically asked
your grandmother
304
00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:40,909
not to feed you
past 3 o'clock.
305
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,340
She didn't.
306
00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:44,556
But we ate everything
we wanted from 2:30 to 2:59.
307
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,484
Well, that's just great.
308
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:50,923
I sat around this house
all day long
309
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,010
and couldn't figure out
a thing to do,
310
00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:54,879
and the one thing
I came up with
311
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,141
was cooking a nice dinner
for my family.
312
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,754
And what does your mama do?
313
00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:00,324
She takes the kids to the mall
314
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:03,101
and lobs a corn dog
right in the middle
of my plan.
315
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:05,146
Nick, if this is
how you're going to treat me
316
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:06,322
when I'm at home,
317
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:07,927
why didn't you just
let me go to work?
318
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:10,853
'Cause I love
your mashed potatoes?
319
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:17,379
I'm telling you, Chuck,
320
00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:19,641
sometimes you can't win
for losing.
321
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:22,044
If anybody knows that,
it's you.
322
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:24,518
If I knew she
wanted to do that,
I would've come in late.
323
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:33,178
[BEEPING]
324
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:37,876
Hey, Ma.
325
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,095
It's Nick.
326
00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,104
Yeah, I need you to keep
the kids tomorrow.
327
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:45,363
Kevin and Lindsey.
328
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:50,453
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
329
00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:54,981
[SIGHS]
330
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:56,164
BOTH: Hey, Marilyn!
331
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,899
So, what are we
doing today?
332
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,857
I don't know, but you're
coming home hungry,
I can tell you that.
333
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,426
Can we please
go back to the mall?
334
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:12,222
Sure, as long as you promise
not to talk to me until...
335
00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:14,129
As long as you promise
not to talk to me.
336
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,045
Hey, Ma, you want
a cup of coffee?
337
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,310
You got six hours to fix
338
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,312
whatever's going on
with you and your wife.
339
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,364
Come on, people.
340
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:24,754
Thanks, Ma.
341
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,107
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
342
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:02,266
Hey, baby.SUZANNE: What?
343
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:04,569
Brush your teeth
and come downstairs.
344
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:05,965
I made breakfast.
345
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,788
I'm not hungry.
346
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,706
I know you're upset, baby.
347
00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:11,971
Just, please, just come
downstairs, please?
348
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:13,928
Fine.
349
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,666
[ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES]
350
00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:48,178
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
351
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,227
It's 9 o'clock.
352
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:56,194
Don't you have to be
at work, Mr. President?
353
00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:00,318
[HUMMING
HAIL TO THE CHIEF]
354
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:04,373
[ROMANTIC MUSIC STOPS]
355
00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:12,065
Mm.
356
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,078
My compliments
to the chef.
357
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,560
You sure
you don't want any?
358
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:16,599
Nah.
359
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:20,687
Problem solved.
360
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:22,645
Why can't I do that
with Suzanne?
361
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:25,653
You can. You just got to treat
your woman like a hard drive.
362
00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,176
Do you want
to explain that?
363
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,960
See, women possess
all the information
a man needs.
364
00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:32,355
You just have to
access the data.
365
00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:34,489
Access the data.
366
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:36,751
Dude, it's almost 10:00 a.m.
Why didn't you say something?
367
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,234
Because you have a watch on.
368
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,764
Dude, I got a date
with this really hot chick.
369
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:42,758
A date? It's 10:00 a.m.
370
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,110
Yeah, see, she works
the night shift,
371
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,410
so we hit up this coffeehouse.
372
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:46,935
But I'm telling you, man,
373
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:48,808
you get a couple
mimosas in her,
she's good to go.
374
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,720
It's like happy hour.
375
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:52,845
Never underestimate
what a woman will do
376
00:17:52,897 --> 00:17:54,117
when she is brunch drunk.
377
00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:56,076
Brunch drunk.
378
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,118
Oh, yeah.
379
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:58,693
This woman plainly stated
380
00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:01,119
that she can't
sleep with a guy
who can't be on time.
381
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,207
See, when women
tell me things,
382
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,736
I believe them.
383
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,170
[EXCLAIMS]
384
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,516
See, Suzanne told you she
doesn't do unplanned well.
385
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:11,346
She said she'd rather
just go to work.
386
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:13,614
Now, was she lying? No.
387
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:15,357
She told you
the truth about herself,
388
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,488
and you convinced her
to do something different.
389
00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:19,841
Sorry, buddy.
This one's on you.
390
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:22,061
But if it's any consolation,
391
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,021
those were
some kick-ass waffles.
392
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:30,852
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]
393
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,722
MAN: [ON TV] We realized
a long time ago,
394
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:34,503
that what you make people feel
395
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:37,328
is just as important
as what you make...
396
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,598
It's noon. How come
you're not at work?
397
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,377
Lunch.
398
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:43,905
I give myself 50 minutes.
399
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,648
I'm sorry.
400
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,351
What are you sorry for?
401
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,829
Whatever made you mad.
402
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:53,215
You know, I do work hard,
403
00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:55,222
even though it may not
seem like it to you.
404
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,180
No, no.
405
00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:58,963
Honey, I understand.
406
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:02,097
Count Dooku is
a menace to society
and needs to be dealt with.
407
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,801
The Empire is not
gonna defeat itself.
408
00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:09,244
Honey,
409
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:14,068
I'm glad that you have
a job that you love.
410
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:16,549
I guess I just wanted
to feel more important.
411
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,253
Of course you are.
412
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,328
You know that.
413
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:26,514
You never said what
you were sorry for.
414
00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:29,516
I tried to make you do
what I would do
if I had a few days off
415
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,429
instead of listening to you.
416
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:33,784
I want you to respect
the way I operate,
417
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,834
so I should respect
the way you operate.
418
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:38,573
I like that.
419
00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:41,274
And I love you.
420
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,530
I love you too, baby.
421
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:46,143
MARILYN: Anybody home?
Because these kids are.
422
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,620
NICK: Damn.[SIGHS]
423
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:55,408
What happened?
Why are you home so early?
424
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:57,755
Because these are
your kids, not mine.
425
00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,495
But you said you'd
give me till 3:00.
426
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:03,026
Well, my nerves
only gave me till now.
427
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:06,511
Ma, I never asked you
for anything, right?
428
00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,993
Wrong. You asked me
to take care of your kids
429
00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,433
two days in a row.
430
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:11,730
I meant before that.
431
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,685
Wait, don't try
to guilt-trip me.
432
00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:15,264
Just tell me what you want.
433
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,301
I need you to stay here
with the kids.What?
434
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:19,346
I want to spend
some time with Suzanne.
435
00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:21,052
Boy, I thought
you had to work.
436
00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:22,259
Not today.
437
00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:23,478
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
438
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,346
Where are you going?
439
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:27,008
To spend some time
with the kids.
440
00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:29,101
I don't want to sit around
for another day and a half,
441
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,100
and I don't want to bother you
while you're working.
442
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:33,282
I'm not working today.
I'm taking the day off.
443
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:34,929
Mom's gonna stay home
with the kids.
444
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:36,632
BOTH: For real?
445
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:39,190
Look, I don't mind
bonding with you,
446
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,328
but you have got to stop
trying to touch me.
447
00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:44,163
Okay, so...
448
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:46,811
What are we gonna do?
449
00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:48,944
Well, I figure we could go
to Pike's Place...Mm-hmm.
450
00:20:48,986 --> 00:20:51,076
Grab a little
something to eat...Mm-hmm.
451
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,859
Go shopping.Mm-hmm.
452
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:55,603
And go somewhere
and finish what we
were talking about upstairs.
453
00:20:56,733 --> 00:20:57,873
KEVIN: For the record,
454
00:20:57,908 --> 00:20:59,648
we know what
you're talking about.
455
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:01,703
[CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
31782
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
