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-=Sync&Corrected by Misiek666=-
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-=Podnapisi.net=-
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So, I want to thank you
so much for giving me
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00:00:15,437 --> 00:00:18,104
the opportunity
to present today to all of you
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00:00:18,106 --> 00:00:20,807
and talk about a topic
that drives my passion
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00:00:20,809 --> 00:00:23,777
and wakes me up
in the morning, marketing.
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00:00:24,713 --> 00:00:28,081
So, marketing is about
delighting the customer
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00:00:28,083 --> 00:00:32,385
through the touchpoints
of her user journey, OK?
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00:00:33,455 --> 00:00:36,689
By studying how the customer
engages her environment
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00:00:36,691 --> 00:00:39,359
we find authentic means
of weaving our brand story
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00:00:39,361 --> 00:00:41,594
through the narrative
of her lifestyle.
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00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:46,266
Now, I don't actually know
what I'm talking about.
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I'm a fraud.
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I am a fraud.
15
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Fraud alert, fraud alert.
Fraud alert. Frau...
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Oh, shit!
17
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He knows, he knows I'm a fraud.
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This is bullshit,
everything coming out
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00:01:05,153 --> 00:01:07,620
of my mouth is bullshit.
He knows I'm a fraud, oh my God.
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00:01:07,622 --> 00:01:10,223
I should've stayedin music. I should'vestayed in the band!
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I should've just been doing
music! Oh my God, I'm a fraud!
22
00:01:12,561 --> 00:01:15,328
Oh my God, oh my God!
23
00:02:09,217 --> 00:02:13,720
Hey, take a seat,
how you doing my favorite Rico?
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- Rick.
- Hmm?
25
00:02:17,759 --> 00:02:20,193
It's no secret,
this company's been going
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00:02:20,195 --> 00:02:21,528
through some pretty hard times.
27
00:02:22,330 --> 00:02:26,266
We're gonna have
to start, you know, yeah.
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00:02:26,568 --> 00:02:27,568
Tissue?
29
00:02:30,772 --> 00:02:33,852
I think you're gonna
find that this package
is pretty sweet.
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00:02:34,276 --> 00:02:36,209
Why don't you take
a few and give it the old,
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00:02:36,211 --> 00:02:37,410
think-a-roo, huh?
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00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:43,583
- Thank you.
- Oh, and Rick,
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00:02:44,886 --> 00:02:47,353
it's not you, it's us.
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00:02:48,957 --> 00:02:49,957
OK.
35
00:03:13,882 --> 00:03:16,583
Fuck yes, yes!
36
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,560
Yeah!
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00:03:27,596 --> 00:03:28,596
Whoo!
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00:03:49,618 --> 00:03:52,819
I will have a pint
of your most expensive beer.
39
00:03:53,722 --> 00:03:54,722
New daddy?
40
00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:58,324
- I got laid off.
- Sorry to hear that, bro.
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00:03:58,526 --> 00:04:00,893
Nah, man, life's too short.
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00:04:01,529 --> 00:04:02,829
See, this is great.
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Freedom.
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To freedom!
45
00:04:15,543 --> 00:04:17,277
There's a cleaners next door.
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00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:18,279
It's all good.
47
00:04:19,848 --> 00:04:21,514
Keep the change purse.
48
00:04:55,417 --> 00:04:57,784
Sori, how many actual
friends do I have?
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00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,953
You have zero friends.
50
00:05:01,723 --> 00:05:02,755
I'm Sori.
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00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:17,804
- Hi, I need my pants.
- Yeah, ink or bodilies?
52
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,641
Number one, number two,
or number three?
53
00:05:25,613 --> 00:05:26,746
Yo.
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00:05:27,582 --> 00:05:30,583
Eric mother-trucking Newman!
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00:05:31,419 --> 00:05:33,486
Dude, it's me.
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00:05:34,055 --> 00:05:35,088
Raj.
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00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:37,790
Patel, Raj Patel.
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00:05:38,593 --> 00:05:41,728
-Raj. Yeah.
-Yeah, what are you just
gonna stand there?
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00:05:41,730 --> 00:05:43,629
Send some fat to a ninja, man.
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00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,638
Man, what you up to?
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00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,107
I'm in digital marketing.
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00:05:55,076 --> 00:05:57,410
Oh, cool, you're in porn.
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00:05:57,412 --> 00:05:59,846
- That's cool, bro, no judgment.
- No, no.
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00:05:59,848 --> 00:06:02,915
How about you,
this a family operation?
65
00:06:02,917 --> 00:06:05,017
Yeah, yeah, my old man
bought the place.
66
00:06:05,019 --> 00:06:08,121
The whole family works here
and I can't stand it.
67
00:06:08,123 --> 00:06:12,458
-Oh, we got Vipin.
You remember the Vipster, right?
-Hi.
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00:06:12,827 --> 00:06:15,795
I find a way to keep
it real digital
up in this bitch.
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00:06:15,797 --> 00:06:21,701
Real-time domain bit,
buy 500 plus tier one domains,
and boom, you're ten figging.
70
00:06:21,703 --> 00:06:26,873
Ten figures, billionaring,
Billicon Valley,
Bilbo Baggin' it.
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00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:28,408
Dirk Von Dyke style, dude.
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00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:33,880
Top of the class and he doesn't
even know who D Von D is.
Vipin, come on, come on.
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00:06:34,449 --> 00:06:37,729
What are you up to right now,
man? You want to,
you want to get a drank?
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00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,955
-Sure, but my pants...
-Oh yeah, whatever,
I'll get that. Vipin, pants.
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00:06:44,859 --> 00:06:46,025
Liquid lunch, baby.
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00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,531
What a dick.
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00:06:54,903 --> 00:06:59,839
Hey Vince, can we get two
more drinks over here?
On the tab?
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00:07:01,176 --> 00:07:04,216
-All right.
-So, Einstein worked
at the Swiss patent office.
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00:07:04,646 --> 00:07:08,981
Guess who else did?
D Von D, but instead
of coming up with some stupid
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00:07:08,983 --> 00:07:11,918
theoretical shit he came up
with some real shit, man,
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00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,753
the VOIP site Jyoos.
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00:07:13,755 --> 00:07:16,656
J-Y-O-O-S, Jyoos.
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00:07:16,658 --> 00:07:19,892
-Jyoos.
-Mm-hmm, and now he is
in the billi club.
84
00:07:21,563 --> 00:07:24,630
I don't remember you so
obsessed with making billions.
85
00:07:24,632 --> 00:07:27,500
Not all of us could go to fancy
school like you over here.
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00:07:27,502 --> 00:07:30,970
You're actually talking
to a member of the unemployed
community right now.
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00:07:32,006 --> 00:07:35,808
Oh, shit, yeah,
that makes sense.
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00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:37,877
Digital marketing.
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00:07:37,879 --> 00:07:40,112
-You're shitcanned.
-Yeah,
thanks for the support, guy.
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00:07:40,114 --> 00:07:43,049
No, no, it's a good
thing, it's a new thing,
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00:07:43,051 --> 00:07:46,752
It's freshness, you know,
a new beginning.
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00:07:46,754 --> 00:07:48,588
I wish I could get shitcanned.
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00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:52,124
Dude, you were
the smartest kid in our class.
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00:07:54,629 --> 00:07:56,212
This should come
as natch to you.
95
00:07:56,213 --> 00:07:58,453
Like my uncle Deepak,
he sold an app for 2.4 milli.
96
00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,799
We could do this together.
97
00:08:01,536 --> 00:08:05,104
Look, I've been looking
for like a rain man
to make it rain.
98
00:08:05,974 --> 00:08:08,975
You provide the brain
and I will provide the bills.
99
00:08:13,114 --> 00:08:17,517
-I have had a few ideas.
-OK, calm down there,
I see your boner, brosemite.
100
00:08:20,221 --> 00:08:23,189
- You know what? Yeah.
- Yeah.
101
00:08:23,191 --> 00:08:25,224
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
102
00:08:25,226 --> 00:08:27,126
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
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00:08:27,128 --> 00:08:30,129
Oh, I just bought wetpussy.org.
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00:08:30,131 --> 00:08:31,831
God, I can't believe I got that.
105
00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:35,101
But no, yeah
to what we're talking about!
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00:08:35,103 --> 00:08:37,603
To Eric Newman, our CEO.
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00:08:37,906 --> 00:08:39,939
To wetpussy.org.
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00:08:39,941 --> 00:08:42,008
- To freedom.
- To freedom!
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00:09:04,999 --> 00:09:05,999
Bro.
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00:09:06,868 --> 00:09:08,134
Bro.
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00:09:08,603 --> 00:09:10,570
Broooo.
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00:09:11,172 --> 00:09:12,172
Juice me, bro.
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00:09:13,107 --> 00:09:14,674
Oh.
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00:09:15,043 --> 00:09:17,176
Dick Schlein, Ridickulous Media.
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00:09:17,178 --> 00:09:19,278
Founder, marketing champion.
116
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:24,216
Our wheelhouse
is app-based branding,
B to C, B to B, B to BBC.
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00:09:24,218 --> 00:09:26,719
Wish I had an app to tell
you to plug in my damn laptop.
118
00:09:26,721 --> 00:09:29,355
Really sorry about that.
119
00:09:29,357 --> 00:09:31,824
- I'm just dickin' with ya.
- Yeah.
120
00:09:32,193 --> 00:09:35,233
No, that's my slogan,
it's on the card.
Just dickin' with ya.
121
00:09:35,730 --> 00:09:37,063
You gonna plug it in or...
122
00:09:37,065 --> 00:09:38,164
Yeah, sorry.
123
00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:40,067
Nutter.
124
00:09:47,375 --> 00:09:53,813
-What are you doing?
-Oh, I'm just sticking
in the juice, for Dick.
125
00:09:53,815 --> 00:09:55,881
- Do you mind?
- Yeah.
126
00:09:58,953 --> 00:10:00,353
Sorry about that.
127
00:10:17,271 --> 00:10:20,039
That's when I came up with it.
It's like how many times
128
00:10:20,041 --> 00:10:23,175
have you been in this position,but like didn't havea means to connect?
129
00:10:23,177 --> 00:10:26,746
See, I can actually talk
to women because that's normal.
130
00:10:27,682 --> 00:10:29,348
Well, not everybody
has the gift.
131
00:10:29,350 --> 00:10:32,151
And the app has many
different types of use cases
132
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:35,921
-for a lot of different things,
like for example, dating.
-OK, yeah.
133
00:10:36,658 --> 00:10:38,424
Or conferences.
134
00:10:38,426 --> 00:10:41,327
Let's just do what is
actually important
135
00:10:41,329 --> 00:10:42,995
like figuring out the name.
136
00:10:43,831 --> 00:10:46,332
Talkr, without an E.
137
00:10:46,334 --> 00:10:50,436
Chattr, Chat. ly with a. ly.
138
00:10:51,039 --> 00:10:54,306
Smel. ly with a...
oh my God, that's genius.
139
00:10:54,308 --> 00:10:55,808
I got to buy that right now.
140
00:10:55,810 --> 00:11:00,713
-Dude, could you just
us for a second.
-Just us, Just.us.
141
00:11:00,715 --> 00:11:03,449
- Dude, you are on fire.
- OK, dude, enough with the shit.
142
00:11:04,118 --> 00:11:06,018
Shit, Pu pu.
143
00:11:09,691 --> 00:11:10,923
How old are you again?
144
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:14,460
- Almost 30.
- Yeah.
145
00:11:15,296 --> 00:11:17,863
It's all about discovering
cool people around you and then
146
00:11:17,865 --> 00:11:20,733
-eventually meeting them.
-OK, and then we track
the whole thing
147
00:11:20,735 --> 00:11:25,004
- and sell their data, smart.
- Isn't that like very creepy?
148
00:11:25,006 --> 00:11:30,009
Dude, the internet is
a trillion dollar peep show.
We're gonna be fine.
149
00:11:30,011 --> 00:11:33,479
I told you five million times,
it's better than a dating site
'cause it could be a lot
150
00:11:33,481 --> 00:11:35,748
of different things.
It could happen for schools,
151
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:39,452
and universities, and
conferences and get-togethers,
and jamborees.
152
00:11:39,454 --> 00:11:44,056
Why did we come up from apes
to the things we are now?
Money.
153
00:11:44,058 --> 00:11:46,892
What is
the monetization play, man?
154
00:11:46,894 --> 00:11:49,361
Deep inside
if you connect the right people
155
00:11:49,363 --> 00:11:52,998
at the right place,
at the right time, there's tons
156
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,234
to be made off of that.
It's just about unlocking it.
157
00:11:55,236 --> 00:12:00,906
- FML. Ah!
- We're not calling the app FML.
158
00:12:00,908 --> 00:12:04,243
So, you enter the app
and you can see all
the different people around you.
159
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:07,246
Then you can look and read
the profiles that people
are happy to post.
160
00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:10,082
And if you like one of them
then you click on that.
161
00:12:10,084 --> 00:12:14,487
And then you get to
a huge local ad unit.
Yeah, I love that.
162
00:12:14,489 --> 00:12:17,823
Fine, but then you can
start your conversation.
163
00:12:17,825 --> 00:12:21,327
OK, which we datamine
for trends, and then we sell it.
164
00:12:21,329 --> 00:12:23,129
I love that even more.
165
00:12:23,131 --> 00:12:24,330
It's not bad.
166
00:12:24,332 --> 00:12:26,365
It's not not horrible.
167
00:12:27,101 --> 00:12:28,501
- Good job, buddy.
168
00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:30,302
Aw, crap.
169
00:12:30,838 --> 00:12:32,338
OK, yeah, I got to go, man.
170
00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:33,873
Old man problems.
171
00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:35,107
Full bachelor party.
172
00:12:36,177 --> 00:12:37,276
All bodilies.
173
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:42,114
What, that's it?
Dude, we haven't even come up
with the name of the app.
174
00:12:42,116 --> 00:12:45,117
I will connect to you later, OK?
175
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:52,158
Connect2U!
176
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,292
Yeah.
177
00:12:55,229 --> 00:12:59,098
OK, fine, great,
that's our placeholder.
178
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:02,168
Or Placeholdr without an E?
179
00:13:03,404 --> 00:13:05,504
- Connect2U is good.
- Yeah.
180
00:13:05,506 --> 00:13:07,146
- Thanks.
- Connect2U.
181
00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:16,248
-Where the hell were you?
we're on in like two minutes.
-I had a hard time getting away.
182
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:18,317
Let's just say Vijay thinks
I'm mid-deuce right now.
183
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,297
OK, let me take the lead on
this, cause you're not gonna
184
00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:23,322
like this guy.
He is a total Banana Republican.
185
00:13:23,558 --> 00:13:27,993
Chet, oh, buddy.
186
00:13:27,995 --> 00:13:29,895
Right circler, dag!
187
00:13:29,897 --> 00:13:33,299
- Roger, I am so jazzed.
- Yes.
188
00:13:33,301 --> 00:13:35,467
I cannot wait
to hear about this.
189
00:13:35,469 --> 00:13:37,603
So, why don't you guys
set up over there
190
00:13:37,605 --> 00:13:39,004
and give me the spiel, OK?
191
00:13:39,941 --> 00:13:42,374
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
192
00:13:50,184 --> 00:13:54,286
Chet, let's just jazz about
a problem that we all have,
193
00:13:54,288 --> 00:13:57,056
letting people know
what we really think.
194
00:13:57,058 --> 00:14:00,192
Say you were at a coffee shop
and your barista
195
00:14:00,194 --> 00:14:02,294
is being a total bi-otch,
196
00:14:03,231 --> 00:14:05,671
you'd want to let other people
know about that, am I right?
197
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:09,068
With tech we figure out
a way to connect with people
198
00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:11,470
across the world
but not with people
199
00:14:11,472 --> 00:14:13,906
in the same room as us.
200
00:14:14,275 --> 00:14:21,113
That's where Connect2U comes in,
so we can connect to you.
201
00:14:22,183 --> 00:14:25,317
Connect2U is the native app
in connecting people across
202
00:14:25,319 --> 00:14:27,987
- different mediums in real...
- I'm sorry, hold on a second.
203
00:14:27,989 --> 00:14:29,054
Who's the guy?
204
00:14:30,358 --> 00:14:33,425
Oh, this
is Eric Newman, our CEO.
205
00:14:33,427 --> 00:14:36,128
- Does he speak?
- Yes.
206
00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:38,050
So, why isn't
your CEO presenting?
207
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:40,532
We are contrarian.
208
00:14:42,036 --> 00:14:45,471
I like it... Stealthy.
209
00:14:46,173 --> 00:14:50,276
So, if I wanted to use this
to communicate with someone
210
00:14:50,278 --> 00:14:52,511
in a restaurant,
find out what the food is like.
211
00:14:52,513 --> 00:14:56,115
OK, yes, great use case, man.
Great use case.
212
00:14:56,117 --> 00:14:58,484
So, what's the monetization
play here, boys?
213
00:15:00,354 --> 00:15:01,587
Oh, uh...
214
00:15:04,692 --> 00:15:08,193
We've given thought to a unique
multi-stream business model.
215
00:15:08,195 --> 00:15:13,565
Ads, ads, lots of ads,
CTC, CPA, CPWs, BBWs.
216
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:17,469
-Sorry, BBW?
-Big and beautiful women,
super loyal demo.
217
00:15:17,471 --> 00:15:20,172
- Click-throughs for days.
- Right.
218
00:15:20,975 --> 00:15:23,709
So, we don't alpha
invest anymore.
219
00:15:23,711 --> 00:15:26,545
We just let you guys run
with it, scale organically.
220
00:15:26,547 --> 00:15:30,115
See, we like seeing
the app in market fostering
221
00:15:30,117 --> 00:15:34,153
a more engaged user base,
so from 30,000 feet
222
00:15:34,155 --> 00:15:38,724
we can figure out how
to leverage, pivot,
and really scale.
223
00:15:38,726 --> 00:15:41,260
So, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
224
00:15:41,262 --> 00:15:43,128
Let's get you guys
on the books for,
225
00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:44,997
what is it now, October?
226
00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,433
Let's, I don't know,
come back around in April, OK?
227
00:15:47,435 --> 00:15:49,301
Ping us, I got to bio break.
228
00:15:49,303 --> 00:15:51,103
Guys, a thrill.
229
00:15:51,105 --> 00:15:56,175
OK, great seeing you, Chet,
we'll play golf some time.
230
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:00,579
Dude, we killed that.
231
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:01,679
- So?
- So, I just spent months working
232
00:16:01,682 --> 00:16:05,284
on this on spec with enough
of my savings giving it all up
233
00:16:05,286 --> 00:16:08,187
for this big chance you kept
playing up to which you
showed up fashionably late
234
00:16:08,189 --> 00:16:10,067
and didn't even let me
get a word in edge-wise,
235
00:16:10,091 --> 00:16:12,624
all to find out that
your big connection is thrilled.
236
00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:16,328
OK, look, I don't have
time to argue.
Just appreciate the moment.
237
00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:19,465
-Yeah, appreciate your job.
At least you get to keep yours.
-Whoa, whoa, hey,
238
00:16:19,467 --> 00:16:22,768
who are we kidding, man?
We're killing ourselves
every day when we're not doing
239
00:16:22,770 --> 00:16:25,504
-what we love.
-Love? All you want
to do is flip shit.
240
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:28,674
Yeah, and I love it. So, I said
that you could sell early,
241
00:16:29,276 --> 00:16:30,442
wishful thinking.
242
00:16:33,381 --> 00:16:36,548
Look, just say the word and I
will go full-time with you.
243
00:16:36,550 --> 00:16:38,450
I'll hand in
my pink slip to Vij.
244
00:16:38,452 --> 00:16:41,020
- No more running around.
- Really?
245
00:16:41,355 --> 00:16:45,324
So, we're both gonna work
full-time on something
that pays nothing.
246
00:16:45,326 --> 00:16:49,728
-How, pray tell,
shall we fund said expedition?
-Don't ask me, I'm second G.
247
00:16:49,730 --> 00:16:52,297
Yeah, well,
Chet was our only shot.
248
00:16:52,299 --> 00:16:55,701
No, no, there are plenty
of fish in the VC sea.
249
00:16:55,703 --> 00:16:58,170
Besides, he's right,
why give up on such a big part
250
00:16:58,172 --> 00:17:00,372
of the dream so early,
it's just money.
251
00:17:00,374 --> 00:17:03,575
- Yeah, small detail.
- Look, we need to cut costs.
252
00:17:03,577 --> 00:17:05,497
The Vipper will have
a good idea.
253
00:17:08,682 --> 00:17:10,282
- Hi, sweetheart.
- -Hi.
254
00:17:10,284 --> 00:17:12,284
It is so good
that my baby's back home.
255
00:17:12,286 --> 00:17:14,753
Oh, here, now,
let me help you with this.
256
00:17:14,755 --> 00:17:17,089
- It's OK, it's fine.
- OK, let me take this then.
257
00:17:17,091 --> 00:17:19,191
No, it's fine,
please just don't take... ow!
258
00:17:19,193 --> 00:17:21,660
Jeffrey, we could use
some help in here please.
259
00:17:21,662 --> 00:17:23,295
Ma, shit.
260
00:17:27,401 --> 00:17:28,567
Fuck.
261
00:17:46,687 --> 00:17:50,522
So, what's the story,
you get fired?
262
00:17:50,524 --> 00:17:52,558
Lay offs, it's nothing about me.
263
00:17:52,827 --> 00:17:57,429
-I mean,
if you're adding value...
-Jeffrey, don't start.
264
00:17:57,431 --> 00:18:00,399
Look, he dabbles from job
to job. He has no idea
what he wants to do.
265
00:18:00,401 --> 00:18:03,535
I do know what I want to do,
I have a project.
266
00:18:04,138 --> 00:18:07,106
It's a business actually.
Actually, I'm the CEO
of a business.
267
00:18:07,108 --> 00:18:11,777
Oh. See, that's pretty
straightforward, Jeffrey, hmm?
268
00:18:12,546 --> 00:18:14,346
Sounds very exciting.
269
00:18:14,348 --> 00:18:16,415
All right,
Mr. Chief Executive Officer,
270
00:18:16,417 --> 00:18:18,684
what exactly are you executing?
271
00:18:18,686 --> 00:18:20,119
Remember Raj from the cleaners?
272
00:18:20,688 --> 00:18:22,387
- Oh my, Raj.
273
00:18:22,456 --> 00:18:25,357
Didn't his parents buy
the strip mall cleaners?
274
00:18:25,793 --> 00:18:28,260
- Who do you think you are?
- I'm sick of working
275
00:18:28,262 --> 00:18:31,830
-in stain removal.
-I worked for my father
for years, boy.
276
00:18:31,832 --> 00:18:36,401
Boy. Look, maybe if you didn't
treat me like a boy
you'd see I'm a man.
277
00:18:36,403 --> 00:18:41,140
Oh, well, maybe as a man
you can pay
your fair share of the rent.
278
00:18:41,142 --> 00:18:43,475
No, I'm not gonna do
that 'cause I'm not gonna
279
00:18:43,477 --> 00:18:44,910
live here anymore.
280
00:18:45,813 --> 00:18:49,348
I'm leaving, just
like Uncle Deepak.
281
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:50,749
Don't you mention that D.
282
00:18:51,285 --> 00:18:52,551
How are they doing?
283
00:18:54,522 --> 00:18:58,357
They're doing great.
Anyways, Raj is working for me,
284
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,560
- with me, on an app.
- App.
285
00:19:01,562 --> 00:19:04,897
Well, you know what D Von D
says about rock bottom, right?
286
00:19:04,899 --> 00:19:07,466
- Let me guess, liquid brunch?
- No.
287
00:19:08,202 --> 00:19:11,470
Look, don't think about it
as shit hitting the fan.
288
00:19:11,472 --> 00:19:14,473
Think about it as spreading
fertilizer in the soil
289
00:19:14,475 --> 00:19:15,607
of your mind.
290
00:19:17,278 --> 00:19:18,844
That's some deep shit, brother.
291
00:19:19,747 --> 00:19:22,214
We can only go up from here,
you'll see.
292
00:19:22,216 --> 00:19:24,449
Yeah, literally.
293
00:19:47,608 --> 00:19:49,508
I'm looking for a new challenge.
294
00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:50,776
An amazing opportunity.
295
00:19:51,912 --> 00:19:53,645
I'm really a people person.
296
00:19:53,981 --> 00:19:56,448
Yeah, we'll circle back.
297
00:19:56,450 --> 00:20:00,385
-When do my options vest?
-You and us isn't
gonna work out.
298
00:20:00,387 --> 00:20:02,721
Oh, OK, I like that you
put that you're artistic.
299
00:20:03,624 --> 00:20:04,624
That's a U.
300
00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:07,859
Oh, OK, I am so sorry.
301
00:20:07,861 --> 00:20:09,962
Did you guys want
to order something?
302
00:20:10,231 --> 00:20:12,965
I'm looking for something
a little more conventional.
303
00:20:12,967 --> 00:20:16,368
- Do you even have a social?
- No, but I could hack one.
304
00:20:16,370 --> 00:20:18,570
We'll get back
to your legal guardian.
305
00:20:18,572 --> 00:20:20,439
You guys are amateurs.
306
00:20:24,645 --> 00:20:27,379
Hey, are you guys interviewing
for some sort of startup?
307
00:20:27,381 --> 00:20:28,814
- Roger.
- Jeanine.
308
00:20:28,816 --> 00:20:31,950
- That's my name, too, Roger.
- Oh... Cool.
309
00:20:31,952 --> 00:20:33,952
I'm Eric.
310
00:20:34,455 --> 00:20:35,420
Hey.
311
00:20:35,422 --> 00:20:39,324
How can you help us
help you help us?
312
00:20:40,361 --> 00:20:42,561
Well, I project manage,
design, illustrate,
313
00:20:42,563 --> 00:20:44,529
and have access
to some programmers, if you guys
314
00:20:44,531 --> 00:20:46,451
are looking
for that sort of thing.
315
00:20:47,501 --> 00:20:48,934
Do you know what we do here?
316
00:20:48,936 --> 00:20:52,337
Uh, by the looks of it,
not much, but I get it.
317
00:20:52,339 --> 00:20:55,340
You're grassroots, two guys
with a germ of a good idea
318
00:20:55,342 --> 00:20:57,676
and no money. What you need
is someone like me,
319
00:20:57,678 --> 00:21:01,680
someone who can put
a solid team together
so you can do what you do.
320
00:21:05,519 --> 00:21:08,053
Yeah, OK, we're actually going
to have to mull this over.
321
00:21:08,055 --> 00:21:11,290
But, thank you.
Thank you so much.
322
00:21:11,292 --> 00:21:12,457
Cool, yeah.
323
00:21:15,596 --> 00:21:17,596
Other than trying to look cool
is there any reason we're not
324
00:21:17,598 --> 00:21:19,831
begging her on our
hands and knees right now?
325
00:21:22,503 --> 00:21:23,903
- No.
- OK.
326
00:21:23,904 --> 00:21:25,304
Welcome, everyone,
to the future.
327
00:21:25,306 --> 00:21:28,073
Many years ago I met
this young man, Raj,
328
00:21:28,075 --> 00:21:30,709
AKA, Rajinder, AKA, Roger.
329
00:21:30,778 --> 00:21:33,545
We were high school buds,
but went our own ways,
330
00:21:33,547 --> 00:21:37,382
me to a shitty big business,
him to a shitty small one.
331
00:21:37,751 --> 00:21:40,886
But we had a crazy idea
about an app that brings people
332
00:21:40,888 --> 00:21:43,755
together in a cold
and distant world.
333
00:21:46,427 --> 00:21:49,928
It's a little bit intimate
here, but if you're with us
334
00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:51,730
you're here to fight
in the trenches.
335
00:21:51,732 --> 00:21:53,565
You don't want to be
a cog in the system.
336
00:21:53,567 --> 00:21:55,934
You're anti-authoritarian
and damn proud.
337
00:22:00,674 --> 00:22:02,007
He's not with us, by the way.
338
00:22:02,676 --> 00:22:05,677
So, who here is ready
for adventure?
339
00:22:05,679 --> 00:22:07,713
I'm here because of Jeanine.
340
00:22:07,715 --> 00:22:09,414
Ditto.
341
00:22:09,416 --> 00:22:10,515
Or that, yep.
342
00:22:11,618 --> 00:22:13,952
Is the app responsive or hybrid?
343
00:22:17,691 --> 00:22:19,691
I would say all the above.
344
00:22:19,693 --> 00:22:21,727
OK, hybrid is all the above.
345
00:22:22,496 --> 00:22:24,896
Boom. Rockstar.
346
00:22:26,633 --> 00:22:30,102
Your resource projections
are understated.
347
00:22:30,104 --> 00:22:34,106
Just working on your budget and
work back plan here to a six-
month launch, and voilà.
348
00:22:35,609 --> 00:22:37,008
That gets you an MVP.
349
00:22:37,010 --> 00:22:38,643
I already am an MVP, so.
350
00:22:38,645 --> 00:22:41,580
She means
minimum viable product.
351
00:22:43,650 --> 00:22:47,018
Ahem, hey, Raj, bio break?
352
00:22:47,020 --> 00:22:48,687
Yeah, go.
353
00:22:48,689 --> 00:22:49,689
Together?
354
00:22:53,494 --> 00:22:56,862
-What's up?
-We're screwed. I thought we'd
get by living like schleppers,
355
00:22:56,864 --> 00:22:58,497
getting
a couple low-budget employees.
356
00:22:58,499 --> 00:23:01,066
Yeah, that's why
we need cash flow, bro.
357
00:23:01,068 --> 00:23:02,667
Look, you're CEO.
358
00:23:02,669 --> 00:23:03,669
Hustle, playa.
359
00:23:05,539 --> 00:23:09,775
Connect2U is the app
to connect you
to potential loved ones.
360
00:23:09,777 --> 00:23:12,077
God, this sounds
like an app for a funeral home.
361
00:23:12,079 --> 00:23:14,880
I like what you're trying
to get at,
but it's a bit static,
362
00:23:14,882 --> 00:23:19,017
-kind of like
a private email service.
-Yes, OK, that, that's my point.
363
00:23:19,019 --> 00:23:22,621
Which makes no sense when it's
for getting people to talk to
each other in real life.
364
00:23:22,623 --> 00:23:25,957
-That's my point.
-Everything about
the design should get people
365
00:23:25,959 --> 00:23:27,559
to meet up in person.
366
00:23:27,861 --> 00:23:30,195
OK, you're talking
about getting game.
367
00:23:31,031 --> 00:23:33,598
- Gamification.
- OK.
368
00:23:34,001 --> 00:23:38,637
Connect2U is the app
to connect you
to potential loved ones.
369
00:23:38,639 --> 00:23:43,442
God, you have like no
confidence. Who did this to you?
370
00:23:43,444 --> 00:23:47,045
Make it fun for people
to get to know each other
through the app.
371
00:23:47,047 --> 00:23:49,781
Sure, it's just this
isn't really a video game.
372
00:23:49,783 --> 00:23:54,152
It's about developing
long-lasting friendships.
373
00:23:54,154 --> 00:23:57,989
But I like the thinking
a lot, keep it up.
374
00:24:03,130 --> 00:24:05,030
The market for connecting people
375
00:24:05,032 --> 00:24:07,699
is valued at over $500 billion,
376
00:24:07,701 --> 00:24:10,836
and no one
can do it quite like Connect2U.
377
00:24:47,140 --> 00:24:48,273
Thanks, Mr. Newman.
378
00:24:51,512 --> 00:24:54,145
So, following the critical
path we're just gonna make
379
00:24:54,147 --> 00:24:56,882
a bare bones MVP
for your phase one launch.
380
00:24:56,884 --> 00:24:58,116
Hmm.
381
00:24:58,118 --> 00:24:59,251
Do you like Jeanine?
382
00:24:59,253 --> 00:25:04,256
Yeah, she's like a super
fast worker, she's awesome.
383
00:25:04,258 --> 00:25:07,659
No. Do you like Jeanine?
384
00:25:07,661 --> 00:25:10,862
Where'd you get that sweet
Gantt spreadsheet template?
385
00:25:10,864 --> 00:25:13,899
- Oh, I just whipped this up.
- What?
386
00:25:14,167 --> 00:25:16,134
God, dude, you have
such a crush.
387
00:25:16,136 --> 00:25:17,769
You put in all those macros?
388
00:25:17,771 --> 00:25:19,538
Where did you learn
how to do that?
389
00:25:19,540 --> 00:25:21,907
You should be honest
and just ask her out.
390
00:25:21,909 --> 00:25:23,775
Are you kidding me?
391
00:25:23,777 --> 00:25:27,078
Dude, that's like completely
against HR policy.
392
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,948
HR policy, we work at a café!
393
00:25:29,950 --> 00:25:32,984
Confession,
I'm an Excel fetishist.
394
00:25:34,888 --> 00:25:36,421
Get out.
395
00:25:36,422 --> 00:25:38,268
I love Excel, I wish I could
like SUMIF my entire life.
396
00:25:38,292 --> 00:25:41,192
Right? Can I VLOOKUP yours?
397
00:25:41,194 --> 00:25:42,928
Oh my goodness.
398
00:25:45,065 --> 00:25:47,032
You have serious dorkitude.
399
00:25:52,139 --> 00:25:55,340
Chug, chug, chug, chug,
chug, chug, chug.
400
00:25:55,342 --> 00:25:58,276
Yeah, buddy, chug,
chug, chug, chug.
401
00:25:58,278 --> 00:26:03,915
Oh, last line of code, bitches!
Action it, action.
402
00:26:03,917 --> 00:26:05,817
Can you believe
that we did it, broski?
403
00:26:05,819 --> 00:26:08,653
We made a damn app.
404
00:26:08,655 --> 00:26:13,058
We came up with an idea, we made
crazy sacrifices, and boom.
405
00:26:13,060 --> 00:26:14,693
Launch time.
406
00:26:14,695 --> 00:26:16,227
Come on, don't leave me hanging.
407
00:26:21,268 --> 00:26:27,706
Fearless leaders.
This ceremony is to commemorate
the birth of Connect2U.
408
00:26:28,175 --> 00:26:32,210
But before we launch in,
a little birthday present.
409
00:26:33,146 --> 00:26:35,647
Using my magic
I was able to score us
410
00:26:35,649 --> 00:26:37,916
an exclusive preview from...
411
00:26:40,087 --> 00:26:43,989
Sierra Miller coming tomorrow
for an in-person interview!
412
00:26:49,963 --> 00:26:52,244
Obviously you guys
don't know who Sierra Miller is.
413
00:26:52,899 --> 00:26:57,002
-She's only the most influential
East Coast tech blogger going.
-Yeah, I mean, she hosts
414
00:26:57,004 --> 00:27:00,739
-the Techies, the Geekies,
and the Dweebies every year.
-Every year.
415
00:27:00,741 --> 00:27:03,975
And she can get thousands
of downloads with a finger snap.
416
00:27:03,977 --> 00:27:07,879
- Boom.
- But enough banter, ship it!
417
00:27:07,881 --> 00:27:10,315
- OK. Yeah.
- Let's do this.
418
00:27:14,388 --> 00:27:16,221
Ah, I see you.
419
00:27:16,223 --> 00:27:17,756
Oh, I see you.
420
00:27:17,758 --> 00:27:19,324
Yeah!
421
00:27:19,660 --> 00:27:20,759
Yeah.
422
00:27:22,863 --> 00:27:27,332
-I just lost you.
-This thing just froze,
it just, it just froze.
423
00:27:29,069 --> 00:27:32,737
Sorry, there's no back
button in the chat space.
424
00:27:32,739 --> 00:27:36,241
Bugs are to be expected when
you code at the last second.
425
00:27:36,243 --> 00:27:40,345
Yeah, I know, it's just we,
now we have like
an interview tomorrow.
426
00:27:40,347 --> 00:27:43,148
Because I hauled ass to get
it since that's what you wanted.
427
00:27:43,150 --> 00:27:46,818
- I'm not blaming you...
-OK, look, my whole phone
just froze, what?
428
00:27:47,020 --> 00:27:48,020
OK.
429
00:27:50,791 --> 00:27:51,890
Yeah, it's... No.
430
00:27:52,392 --> 00:27:53,392
Great.
431
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,834
Oh my God, every time we
fix a bug another pops up.
432
00:28:02,836 --> 00:28:08,940
Bugs are bugs, guys.
What's important now is who
you are and why you made this.
433
00:28:09,443 --> 00:28:10,443
Yeah.
434
00:28:10,477 --> 00:28:13,244
Eric, are you OK?
435
00:28:14,781 --> 00:28:15,781
Not really.
436
00:28:31,264 --> 00:28:32,497
Close that.
437
00:28:38,271 --> 00:28:39,471
Stupid.
438
00:28:39,473 --> 00:28:42,006
Eric, this is Sierra.
439
00:28:52,152 --> 00:28:53,485
Going to scooch.
440
00:28:57,190 --> 00:29:00,358
So, Connect2U, that's cute.
441
00:29:01,328 --> 00:29:03,609
So, take me to the moment
you thought this thing up.
442
00:29:03,997 --> 00:29:08,500
Um, yeah, it was about three
or four months ago.
443
00:29:08,502 --> 00:29:10,502
So, you don't remember
when or where
444
00:29:10,504 --> 00:29:12,403
or why you created this?
445
00:29:12,939 --> 00:29:14,539
No, I do, I'm just...
446
00:29:14,541 --> 00:29:16,908
You don't talk very
much for a CEO.
447
00:29:17,377 --> 00:29:20,044
OK, well, if you don't
have much to say,
448
00:29:20,046 --> 00:29:22,147
I can at least take
a look at your app.
449
00:29:27,220 --> 00:29:30,989
"Ah, dude, just relax and
picture her naked, she's hot."
450
00:29:31,858 --> 00:29:34,893
App isn't loading, does
anybody else have it loaded?
451
00:29:34,895 --> 00:29:35,895
Yep.
452
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,568
So, how is it any different
from RoomFriender, HubChat?
453
00:29:44,504 --> 00:29:45,970
What's your differentiator?
454
00:29:47,140 --> 00:29:50,041
Well, I haven't heard
of those other ones.
455
00:29:50,043 --> 00:29:51,342
Of course not, skippy.
456
00:29:52,445 --> 00:29:55,013
- All right.
- Thank you.
457
00:29:57,250 --> 00:30:00,118
Hey, Sierra,
thank you so much for coming.
458
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,287
Maybe we're just not quite
ready for a discussion.
459
00:30:02,289 --> 00:30:04,823
Oh, you're definitely
ready for discussion.
460
00:30:04,825 --> 00:30:05,957
Word of advice.
461
00:30:06,526 --> 00:30:08,092
You're better than this.
462
00:30:08,995 --> 00:30:12,063
Sierra, I loved
your piece on accelerators.
463
00:30:12,065 --> 00:30:15,300
It was bang on.
Listen, I'm developing
a safe space for white men
464
00:30:15,302 --> 00:30:17,468
on the internet,
and I thought you...
465
00:30:17,470 --> 00:30:20,004
Hey, man, you're going
to call me crazy,
466
00:30:20,006 --> 00:30:22,140
but, I think she was into you.
467
00:30:22,142 --> 00:30:23,975
Registered on the old Rajdar.
468
00:30:24,578 --> 00:30:27,946
Did you hear her? She's right.
This is the stupidest idea
469
00:30:27,948 --> 00:30:31,015
in the history of like ideation.
470
00:30:31,251 --> 00:30:35,553
OK, we're two idiots thousands
of miles from Silicon Valley,
471
00:30:35,555 --> 00:30:38,489
reverse engineering some
half-baked idea and giving up
472
00:30:38,491 --> 00:30:42,227
our lives and careers
and families
for some stupid dream
473
00:30:42,229 --> 00:30:44,128
that like never happens.
474
00:30:45,565 --> 00:30:47,685
- At least you got a girlfriend.
- She's not...
475
00:30:48,235 --> 00:30:50,401
Look, this slope is like
way too slippery.
476
00:30:51,137 --> 00:30:54,005
-Someone's got to put
an official sock.
-Wait, what, no, no.
477
00:30:54,007 --> 00:30:56,908
What are you doing?
This whole thing is ghetto.
478
00:30:56,910 --> 00:31:00,211
What we need to do
is raise capital so we can
get it done right.
479
00:31:02,215 --> 00:31:04,095
Clearly I'm not
the guy for that.
480
00:31:06,152 --> 00:31:07,152
What?
481
00:31:07,354 --> 00:31:08,419
Dude.
482
00:31:10,090 --> 00:31:12,156
Fine, fine, I'll do it.
483
00:31:14,461 --> 00:31:17,495
Sori, text Raj, thanks
for filling in today.
484
00:31:17,964 --> 00:31:20,044
I'm gonna send them
the bad news tomorrow.
485
00:31:21,434 --> 00:31:25,036
And for sanity's sake
it's best if you moved out ASAP.
486
00:31:26,172 --> 00:31:27,372
Send.
487
00:31:27,374 --> 00:31:29,107
Sent to Raj, I'm Sori.
488
00:31:43,156 --> 00:31:46,124
This is
a once in a lifetime
investment opportunity.
489
00:31:46,426 --> 00:31:48,393
Your seed keeps the lights on.
490
00:31:48,395 --> 00:31:52,030
Get in on the ground floor now,
enjoy the penthouse later.
491
00:31:52,032 --> 00:31:54,432
OK, how about philanthropy then?
492
00:31:54,434 --> 00:31:56,434
Please, please!
493
00:31:56,436 --> 00:31:59,170
What did I ever do to you, man,
come on!
494
00:32:02,542 --> 00:32:04,575
Auto-dictate on.
495
00:32:04,577 --> 00:32:06,611
Roger, Connect2U is not
a good fit at this time.
496
00:32:06,613 --> 00:32:09,180
But good news, I can
offer you a 25% discount
497
00:32:09,182 --> 00:32:11,182
to our Startup Olympics
with code Rockstar.
498
00:32:11,184 --> 00:32:13,151
Thrilled as fuck, regards, Chet!
499
00:32:16,056 --> 00:32:17,056
Ow!
500
00:32:23,463 --> 00:32:25,363
- Hello.
- Hi.
501
00:32:25,365 --> 00:32:26,597
Are you selling cookies?
502
00:32:32,072 --> 00:32:33,072
Eric?
503
00:32:34,607 --> 00:32:36,007
Eric?
504
00:32:37,510 --> 00:32:38,676
Eric?
505
00:32:38,678 --> 00:32:41,212
Oh, my God! Jesus!
506
00:32:41,214 --> 00:32:42,680
Holy moly.
507
00:32:43,750 --> 00:32:46,384
Oh, my God.
508
00:32:46,386 --> 00:32:48,353
Um, yeah.
509
00:32:48,355 --> 00:32:50,321
- Oh, God.
- OK.
510
00:32:50,323 --> 00:32:54,292
- Oh, wow, yeah.
- I'm sorry.
511
00:32:54,294 --> 00:32:58,029
Let me slip into something
a bit more clothey.
512
00:32:58,031 --> 00:33:02,033
- Mm-hmm Your mom made me bring you some cookies.
- -I figured as much.
513
00:33:02,769 --> 00:33:05,670
Uh, yeah, no, don't go in there.
514
00:33:05,672 --> 00:33:07,739
Am I about to find your stash?
515
00:33:09,309 --> 00:33:12,043
Oh, my God, you're a musician.
516
00:33:12,045 --> 00:33:13,644
I'm a hobbyist.
517
00:33:14,247 --> 00:33:17,215
Like real musicians
have careers, me, no.
518
00:33:17,550 --> 00:33:18,616
Play me a song.
519
00:33:18,618 --> 00:33:24,489
-I don't do songs.
-OK, play me a thing,
I won't judge you.
520
00:33:24,758 --> 00:33:27,291
Have I ever judged you,
out loud?
521
00:33:28,728 --> 00:33:31,696
OK, fine, here's a groove.
522
00:33:31,698 --> 00:33:32,698
OK.
523
00:33:36,036 --> 00:33:37,268
- Awkward.
- Exciting.
524
00:34:20,180 --> 00:34:21,245
Groove.
525
00:34:24,551 --> 00:34:25,631
You know what you are?
526
00:34:26,519 --> 00:34:28,786
A renaissance man child.
527
00:34:28,788 --> 00:34:31,222
- Like a shitty da Vinci?
- No.
528
00:34:31,691 --> 00:34:36,160
Your mind is capable of a lot,
but your heart is in music.
529
00:34:37,464 --> 00:34:39,330
It's what you should be doing,
I can see that.
530
00:34:39,332 --> 00:34:43,501
Where am I gonna find
the time to start making...
OK, don't answer that.
531
00:34:43,503 --> 00:34:45,536
- You know what you need?
- -Hmm?
532
00:34:45,538 --> 00:34:48,206
- ShitKicker.
- Like crowd funding?
533
00:34:48,208 --> 00:34:51,209
It's the best way to hold
you to your passion project.
I'm filming.
534
00:34:51,211 --> 00:34:53,778
-Don't do that.
-Too late,
it's recording, start.
535
00:34:53,780 --> 00:34:56,881
Hi, I'm Eric Newman.
536
00:34:57,517 --> 00:35:01,319
I'm a failed analyst,
entrepreneur, and musician.
537
00:35:02,188 --> 00:35:08,693
But my colleague herehas suggested that I kickmy own proverbial shit.
538
00:35:09,262 --> 00:35:13,197
So please support me in becoming
a professional musician
539
00:35:13,199 --> 00:35:17,135
so that I don't at least die
full of festering regret.
540
00:35:17,137 --> 00:35:21,139
Yours truly,
Eric Newman, esquire.
541
00:35:21,141 --> 00:35:22,173
What?
542
00:35:22,175 --> 00:35:23,741
Stop it.
543
00:35:23,743 --> 00:35:24,709
Stop it!
544
00:35:24,711 --> 00:35:25,843
No, no, no!
545
00:35:27,881 --> 00:35:29,280
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
546
00:35:30,283 --> 00:35:31,323
I got you something.
547
00:35:31,885 --> 00:35:33,718
You shouldn't have?
548
00:35:34,487 --> 00:35:37,555
I know, but I couldn't resist.
549
00:35:40,293 --> 00:35:42,293
This is so you sleep
better at night.
550
00:35:43,630 --> 00:35:45,329
A spreadsheet bed sheet?
551
00:35:45,665 --> 00:35:47,265
Dorkitude?
552
00:35:47,267 --> 00:35:48,799
Get out.
553
00:35:50,770 --> 00:35:53,237
I silk screen, it's no big deal.
554
00:35:53,907 --> 00:35:55,640
Shall we product test it?
555
00:35:56,643 --> 00:35:57,909
- Ha!
- Whoa.
556
00:36:00,180 --> 00:36:01,746
Yep, this is awesome.
557
00:36:02,215 --> 00:36:04,815
OK, can you wake
me up in like 20?
558
00:36:08,922 --> 00:36:10,821
I have a thing tomorrow.
559
00:36:45,525 --> 00:36:48,326
To never working
at my dad's cleaners again!
560
00:36:48,628 --> 00:36:49,628
Yeah!
561
00:37:22,428 --> 00:37:27,932
All right, let's begin. Eric,
what are three words you would
use to describe yourself?
562
00:37:32,639 --> 00:37:35,640
Well, I would say loyal
because I like to stick
563
00:37:35,642 --> 00:37:38,576
with those that give
me an opportunity.
564
00:37:40,413 --> 00:37:44,048
And I'd also go with dedicated
because once I'm on a set path,
565
00:37:44,050 --> 00:37:47,685
I like to finish
what I've gotten started.
566
00:37:59,299 --> 00:38:00,798
So, you only have two words?
567
00:38:06,005 --> 00:38:10,308
I'd also go with gangsta
'cause that's how I roll.
568
00:38:12,445 --> 00:38:13,577
Gangsta.
569
00:38:19,419 --> 00:38:20,518
Yes.
570
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:21,686
OK.
571
00:38:23,423 --> 00:38:25,456
What do you think is
your biggest weakness?
572
00:38:25,458 --> 00:38:27,591
I think I would go with opioids.
573
00:38:29,862 --> 00:38:32,797
- Opioids.
- This is very fun.
574
00:38:32,799 --> 00:38:36,667
Share an example
of how you were able
to motivate co-workers.
575
00:38:36,669 --> 00:38:40,604
-Blackmail.
-How do you handle a challenge?
-I just give up.
576
00:38:40,606 --> 00:38:43,674
-Did you ever
not meet your goals?
-Well, I am here, right?
577
00:38:43,676 --> 00:38:46,977
How have you handled
a difficult situation
with a supervisor?
578
00:38:46,979 --> 00:38:48,946
- Scotch.
- With another department?
579
00:38:48,948 --> 00:38:50,748
- Tequila.
- With a client or vendor?
580
00:38:50,750 --> 00:38:52,516
- Wine.
- With a boss?
581
00:38:52,518 --> 00:38:55,853
Craft beer, or caffeine.
Liquid lunch, baby.
582
00:38:55,855 --> 00:39:00,057
This is the most unprofessional
interview I have ever done.
583
00:39:00,059 --> 00:39:02,493
No, you are doing great.
584
00:39:02,495 --> 00:39:04,895
But listen, I have a thing so...
585
00:39:11,070 --> 00:39:14,772
-So now, you gonna tell me?
-I don't know, man,
it's kind of embarrassing.
586
00:39:14,774 --> 00:39:19,777
-Embarrassing?
-Look, I knocked on every door
I knew, but no juice.
587
00:39:20,113 --> 00:39:24,982
So, in my lowest state I was
gonna go back to the Vij
when, I got some of that D.
588
00:39:24,984 --> 00:39:27,017
- Excuse me?
- Uncle Deepak?
589
00:39:27,019 --> 00:39:29,387
-Ah.
-I told him the sitch,
and he said he'd support me.
590
00:39:29,389 --> 00:39:32,656
- And he has that kind of money?
- He is a serial entrepreneur.
591
00:39:32,658 --> 00:39:34,425
He sold a couple patents.
592
00:39:34,427 --> 00:39:35,793
I just never knew
about it because him
593
00:39:35,795 --> 00:39:37,395
and the V-Man don't talk.
594
00:39:37,397 --> 00:39:38,963
You know, don't ask, don't tell.
595
00:39:40,099 --> 00:39:42,600
- Hey, a toast.
- I got this.
596
00:39:42,602 --> 00:39:45,736
To Raj, we don't know
how you do what you do.
597
00:39:45,738 --> 00:39:47,818
We don't want to know,
but keep doing it.
598
00:39:48,174 --> 00:39:49,507
And to liquid lunch!
599
00:39:49,509 --> 00:39:51,041
To liquid lunch!
600
00:39:56,849 --> 00:40:01,719
Go Raj,
go Eric, go Raj, go Eric.
601
00:40:01,721 --> 00:40:05,723
- Welcome to Connect2U HQ!
- Yeah.
602
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:10,494
We are no longer ghetto, folks.
603
00:40:10,496 --> 00:40:12,062
We got a new look.
604
00:40:12,064 --> 00:40:14,165
Speaking of which, uh, bam!
605
00:40:14,167 --> 00:40:16,967
Meet your new boss, Roger Patel.
606
00:40:16,969 --> 00:40:18,068
Hey, pass these around.
607
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:26,010
We are starting a fresh,
EG, augmented reality!
608
00:40:27,847 --> 00:40:30,948
It's just a huge market
waiting to be tapped.
609
00:40:31,951 --> 00:40:34,218
From now on, Connect2U
is gonna connect you
610
00:40:34,220 --> 00:40:38,055
through roaming avatars
anytime, anywhere.
611
00:40:38,057 --> 00:40:41,459
Free range, baby!
But how are we gonna do this?
612
00:40:41,461 --> 00:40:46,030
Is it gonna be hard? No,
because we got a kick ass team,
613
00:40:46,032 --> 00:40:49,567
starting with my co-founder
Eric Newman,
614
00:40:49,569 --> 00:40:51,702
our Chief Technology Officer.
615
00:40:51,704 --> 00:40:53,604
Give it up, give it up!
616
00:40:53,606 --> 00:40:56,574
With increased growth comes
increased responsibility.
617
00:40:56,576 --> 00:40:58,542
I'm talking promos, yo.
618
00:40:58,544 --> 00:41:01,512
Guess who's getting,
it's my girl, Jeanine Genet,
619
00:41:01,514 --> 00:41:03,781
Chief Product Officer!
620
00:41:05,518 --> 00:41:07,685
For now, let's enjoy Connect20,
621
00:41:07,687 --> 00:41:09,620
our employee engagement
initiative.
622
00:41:09,622 --> 00:41:11,589
Just jot down and journal
for the next 20.
623
00:41:11,591 --> 00:41:13,757
Get down with the downtime.
624
00:41:13,759 --> 00:41:15,226
DJ, spin that shit.
625
00:41:19,932 --> 00:41:23,100
- What are you doing?
- Making us a billi.
626
00:41:23,102 --> 00:41:26,070
I'm just a little bit surprised
to find that you flipped
627
00:41:26,072 --> 00:41:28,839
my idea so that now
it's totally unrecognizable.
628
00:41:28,841 --> 00:41:31,942
- It's an augmentation, Eric.
- You're buying this too?
629
00:41:31,944 --> 00:41:34,545
Don't hate the player,
hate the gamification.
630
00:41:34,547 --> 00:41:37,648
See, while you were busy giving
the man the reach around,
631
00:41:37,650 --> 00:41:39,750
I raised a shitload
of das capital.
632
00:41:40,219 --> 00:41:42,920
So now, I lead and you play CTO.
633
00:41:42,922 --> 00:41:45,089
I don't know the first
thing about being CTO.
634
00:41:45,091 --> 00:41:47,958
You didn't know the first thing
about tech either.
But look at you,
635
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,094
you are
a co-founder on Crackbase.
636
00:41:51,130 --> 00:41:52,530
That's a naked woman.
637
00:41:53,165 --> 00:41:54,098
Illustrative.
638
00:41:54,100 --> 00:41:57,301
If you'll excuse me,
it's executive order time.
639
00:42:09,982 --> 00:42:12,182
But I thought this was
a convertible loan, Eric?
640
00:42:12,184 --> 00:42:14,424
I thought I could get
a chance to invest if I want.
641
00:42:15,721 --> 00:42:16,721
Eric?
642
00:42:17,623 --> 00:42:18,656
Eric!
643
00:42:18,658 --> 00:42:21,091
Oh, Chet.
644
00:42:21,093 --> 00:42:23,827
We're actually
at an eight figgy valuation now,
645
00:42:23,829 --> 00:42:27,831
so why don't you try
circling back, huh?
646
00:42:27,833 --> 00:42:30,568
OK, great, reach around, bud,
peace out.
647
00:42:30,570 --> 00:42:31,735
Yeah, click douche.
648
00:42:32,772 --> 00:42:34,104
That felt good.
649
00:42:47,787 --> 00:42:48,752
Thoughts?
650
00:42:48,754 --> 00:42:51,155
What are you saying?
I look like a turtle?
651
00:42:51,157 --> 00:42:53,791
- Pretty much.
- Thanks.
652
00:42:53,793 --> 00:42:56,927
I'm saying it takes you
a while, but slowly and steadily
653
00:42:56,929 --> 00:42:59,063
- you win the race.
- Ah.
654
00:42:59,065 --> 00:43:00,998
And you hide under a hard shell,
655
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,301
but underneath it all
you're just a green softy.
656
00:43:05,004 --> 00:43:06,270
And, who are you?
657
00:43:07,373 --> 00:43:10,941
You mean hoo am I?
658
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,648
Identity protection
and anonymity come down
659
00:43:17,650 --> 00:43:19,984
to some level of encryption.
660
00:43:19,986 --> 00:43:24,922
Connect2U will use
256 bit level encryption...
661
00:43:24,924 --> 00:43:28,392
It sounds
brilliant, but I really
don't understand any of it.
662
00:43:28,394 --> 00:43:32,162
- Ella's a PhD in cryptography.
- Wow, you really scored us one.
663
00:43:32,732 --> 00:43:37,835
-You kidding, you give a PhD
a job they'll suck your dick.
-No words.
664
00:43:37,937 --> 00:43:40,137
Oh, God, that's good.
665
00:43:41,841 --> 00:43:44,375
Hey,
this is Roger Patel here, CEO.
666
00:43:44,377 --> 00:43:48,012
Just doing my series B round
for Connect2U.
667
00:43:48,014 --> 00:43:50,214
This thing is about to pop.
668
00:43:50,983 --> 00:43:53,017
Yeah, just did.
669
00:43:54,353 --> 00:43:56,987
OK, ping me
when you're next avail, OK?
670
00:43:56,989 --> 00:43:58,989
Talk some equity, peace.
671
00:44:00,126 --> 00:44:03,861
Bottom line, every single
Connect2U interaction
672
00:44:03,863 --> 00:44:09,166
is completely anonymous
with like no digital trace.
673
00:44:09,168 --> 00:44:12,770
Yeah, buddy,
you got that privacy
that you wanted so badly.
674
00:44:12,772 --> 00:44:15,906
Sorry to interrupt your tales
from the crypt, but we're good
675
00:44:15,908 --> 00:44:18,409
to go on liquid lunch Tuesdays.
676
00:44:19,211 --> 00:44:21,945
I poached Barista Jesus.
677
00:44:21,947 --> 00:44:23,681
Come to me.
678
00:44:23,683 --> 00:44:25,716
We were
in the middle of a like...
679
00:44:25,718 --> 00:44:28,152
Hey, it's team building, amigo.
680
00:44:28,154 --> 00:44:31,155
Which reminds me, please,
guys, do not forget
681
00:44:31,157 --> 00:44:34,692
Connect2Yoki tonight,
bring your significantes.
682
00:44:34,694 --> 00:44:37,061
This is Raj.
683
00:44:37,697 --> 00:44:40,817
Reggie, yeah,
I just wanted to go over
the ad platform with you.
684
00:44:41,100 --> 00:44:43,434
So now, we have an ad platform?
685
00:44:44,236 --> 00:44:46,203
I did not get the memo either.
686
00:44:50,409 --> 00:44:51,742
Yeah.
687
00:44:51,743 --> 00:44:53,076
- Yeah, I see you.
- And I see you.
688
00:44:53,079 --> 00:44:56,113
- I'm getting good at this, huh?
- -I'm very impressed.
689
00:44:56,716 --> 00:44:58,876
Yeah, but I still can't
see the treasure chest.
690
00:44:59,018 --> 00:45:00,658
- Get closer.
- I am.
691
00:45:02,254 --> 00:45:05,289
Wait, oh, I see it, I see it.
692
00:45:05,291 --> 00:45:06,790
OK, now what?
693
00:45:08,494 --> 00:45:10,294
I'm supposed to open it, right?
694
00:45:11,130 --> 00:45:12,796
- I swipe up?
- -Yeah.
695
00:45:13,299 --> 00:45:16,133
OK, let me, trying this.
696
00:45:17,737 --> 00:45:19,169
- Closer.
- -OK.
697
00:45:20,306 --> 00:45:22,106
I'm swiping, and it's not...
698
00:45:23,075 --> 00:45:25,509
Ah-ha! Got it.
699
00:45:25,511 --> 00:45:27,478
You see?
You see how awesome that is?
700
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:28,879
That's a rush.
701
00:45:30,015 --> 00:45:31,482
Did you see your prize?
702
00:45:31,917 --> 00:45:32,917
Oh.
703
00:45:48,901 --> 00:45:52,169
- Fine, you win, this is fun.
It's fun.
704
00:45:52,471 --> 00:45:54,371
Welcome to Perkiledge Capital.
705
00:45:54,373 --> 00:45:56,473
Join us for this year's
Startup Olympics,
706
00:45:56,475 --> 00:45:59,076
featuring a very special
VIP guest.
707
00:45:59,078 --> 00:46:00,878
If you're trying
to reach Chet leave
708
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,880
a targeted micro-message now.
709
00:46:04,416 --> 00:46:08,418
Hey, Chet, just circling back
seeing if your
710
00:46:08,420 --> 00:46:10,888
original offer still stands.
711
00:46:10,890 --> 00:46:12,990
Ping me, ping me.
712
00:46:26,438 --> 00:46:27,438
Uncle Deepak?
713
00:46:59,872 --> 00:47:03,907
-What the hell?
-What the hell did you do
with the money?
714
00:47:03,909 --> 00:47:06,610
Where the hell did you even
get the money from? Did
you lie about Uncle Deepak?
715
00:47:06,612 --> 00:47:08,912
OK, I did not lie,
it was half truth.
716
00:47:08,914 --> 00:47:13,550
I was down on my luck
and I asked him if he'd support
me for the first time ever.
717
00:47:13,552 --> 00:47:18,288
He said yes. I told him
what he was trying to raise,
and he laughed... hard.
718
00:47:19,291 --> 00:47:21,291
So, I just asked him if
he'd help with the startup
719
00:47:21,293 --> 00:47:23,927
application fee,
and he did, he helped with it.
720
00:47:23,929 --> 00:47:26,530
Oh, God,
so where's the 300K from?
721
00:47:26,532 --> 00:47:31,168
I started filling out the
application next door at the bar
when I got into it with Vince.
722
00:47:31,170 --> 00:47:33,403
You know, pouring my
troubles down the drain.
723
00:47:33,405 --> 00:47:35,472
And he tells me
he's into this, and I'm like,
724
00:47:35,474 --> 00:47:37,074
"What? You're into tech?"
725
00:47:38,010 --> 00:47:40,477
It's an app
for the Startup Olympics.
726
00:47:40,479 --> 00:47:42,946
And he's like,
"yeah man, that's my jam."
727
00:47:42,948 --> 00:47:44,581
Did you not know about our app?
728
00:47:44,583 --> 00:47:48,085
So, I pitched him,
it was a great pitch.
729
00:47:48,087 --> 00:47:53,257
Vince, have you ever been to
a coffee shop and your barista
was being a total bi-otch?
730
00:47:53,259 --> 00:47:56,460
So, you're telling me
the guy behind all this
is the guy behind the bar?
731
00:47:56,462 --> 00:47:58,662
OK, look,
what sold him was you, OK?
732
00:47:58,664 --> 00:48:01,365
He remembers you
from high school,
he really loved our idea.
733
00:48:01,367 --> 00:48:03,200
My idea, which you sold!
734
00:48:03,202 --> 00:48:05,369
I did not sell it,
it was a loan.
735
00:48:05,371 --> 00:48:08,939
- We owe Vince $300,000?
- With interest.
736
00:48:08,941 --> 00:48:10,674
- What rate of interest?
- Half a percent.
737
00:48:10,676 --> 00:48:13,396
-That's actually pretty
competitive.
-A day.
738
00:48:14,947 --> 00:48:17,381
- That's like a million dollars!
- Oh, shit, my bad.
739
00:48:17,383 --> 00:48:21,184
Oh, my God. OK, we have to
pay him back immediately.
We're two weeks from launch.
740
00:48:21,186 --> 00:48:23,353
- What's the story with sales?
- There is no story.
741
00:48:23,355 --> 00:48:26,189
Awesome, you're amazing, thank
you. Is there anything else
we can sell
742
00:48:26,191 --> 00:48:28,959
like products,
placement, patents?
743
00:48:28,961 --> 00:48:32,029
- No, I've tried everything.
- OK, what about Perkiledge?
744
00:48:32,031 --> 00:48:35,465
- They're blue balling us, the balls are blue.
- -Oh, God!
745
00:48:36,168 --> 00:48:38,068
Why, why, are you not well?
746
00:48:38,070 --> 00:48:40,570
Are you on drugs?
Are you off drugs?
747
00:48:40,572 --> 00:48:43,273
Look, we just needed
a short-term cash infusion, OK?
748
00:48:43,275 --> 00:48:45,208
What's a milli when you're
gonna make a billi?
749
00:48:45,210 --> 00:48:47,244
I don't understand
your hip-hop numbers!
750
00:48:47,246 --> 00:48:50,047
Never put all
your eggs in one basket.
751
00:48:50,049 --> 00:48:54,184
OK, look, that is easy
for you to say, OK?
I grew up with nothing.
752
00:48:54,186 --> 00:48:56,053
You know, my dad wants
to cage me in,
753
00:48:56,055 --> 00:48:59,256
- but I'm free range, man.
- That's a free throw,
754
00:48:59,258 --> 00:49:02,225
you are doing a free throw.
You say you have nothing,
you had everything.
755
00:49:02,227 --> 00:49:05,295
You had all the girls, all the
attention, and all the love!
756
00:49:05,297 --> 00:49:07,230
You're bringing
this back to high school?
757
00:49:07,232 --> 00:49:10,400
Of course I am. Why do you think
we stopped being friends, bro?
758
00:49:10,402 --> 00:49:13,236
'Cause I did all your homework
and you took all the credit for
everything,
759
00:49:13,238 --> 00:49:15,639
- and took it all for yourself.
- No, we stopped being friends
760
00:49:15,641 --> 00:49:18,208
because you went off to some
fancy school, you know,
761
00:49:18,210 --> 00:49:20,544
to become
some corporate D-bag poser.
762
00:49:20,546 --> 00:49:23,113
And you needed me
to bring you back.
763
00:49:24,016 --> 00:49:26,183
You know what, fuck you, OK?
764
00:49:26,185 --> 00:49:28,752
-Wow, real creative, yep.
-Fuck you
and your fucking world!
765
00:49:28,754 --> 00:49:33,690
Fuck Perkiledge,
fuck the Startup Olympics,
fuck Apptitude,
766
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:36,126
and fuck Sierra Miller!
767
00:49:37,196 --> 00:49:39,663
- Fuck Sierra Miller!
- Yeah!
768
00:49:39,665 --> 00:49:44,368
No, no, I mean, literally
fuck Sierra Miller, dude.
769
00:49:45,104 --> 00:49:48,538
-What?
-OK, who do you think
runs the Startup Olympics?
770
00:49:48,540 --> 00:49:51,608
- I don't know, D Von D?
- No, Sierra Miller.
771
00:49:51,610 --> 00:49:55,245
-And?
-And if you gigolize yourself
to her she might let us in.
772
00:49:55,247 --> 00:49:56,680
How good am I at calling it?
773
00:49:56,682 --> 00:49:58,762
Like predicting,
I don't know, 0 for life?
774
00:50:01,286 --> 00:50:02,686
No, with chicks.
775
00:50:02,687 --> 00:50:04,087
- You're very good!
- I am a savant, OK?
776
00:50:04,089 --> 00:50:06,223
Dude, maybe she's
into some dominatrix shit.
777
00:50:06,225 --> 00:50:08,191
But for sure, she's into you.
778
00:50:10,129 --> 00:50:14,564
OK, say I gigolize her,
I can't believe I'm even
entertaining this idea.
779
00:50:14,566 --> 00:50:16,800
How do we get
into Startup Olympics,
and what do we even win?
780
00:50:16,802 --> 00:50:19,703
OK, last year there was a 500K
bidding war at the after party.
781
00:50:19,705 --> 00:50:23,573
-Yeah, but that's not enough.
-But it might be enough
for Vince to relax terms.
782
00:50:26,378 --> 00:50:29,746
-What do I tell Jeanine?
-Have you met my friend,
Jack Shit?
783
00:50:30,349 --> 00:50:33,483
Dude, she needs to work
on the app so we have
something to flip.
784
00:50:33,485 --> 00:50:35,405
But we can't even
pay her anymore.
785
00:50:36,522 --> 00:50:37,721
We need to save money.
786
00:50:40,292 --> 00:50:42,793
Have you met my secret Vippy?
787
00:50:49,134 --> 00:50:51,568
This is a plan B scenario,
but you might need to go in
788
00:50:51,570 --> 00:50:53,770
through the back door
to get to her front.
789
00:50:54,373 --> 00:50:57,374
I provided you with lube,
two candles, and 30 condoms,
790
00:50:57,376 --> 00:51:00,143
ranging from extra small
to extra large.
791
00:51:00,145 --> 00:51:02,746
That's a joke, obviously,
only extra smalls.
792
00:51:02,748 --> 00:51:05,315
Sex is a possibility,
but don't push it.
793
00:51:05,317 --> 00:51:07,451
See what she's into, maybe feet.
794
00:51:07,453 --> 00:51:09,586
Maybe hands, maybe eyeballs.
795
00:51:09,588 --> 00:51:12,656
I've had a woman like that once,
it was very peculiar.
796
00:51:14,326 --> 00:51:19,162
Dosas, $7.95 each,
$7.95 per dosa.
797
00:51:19,164 --> 00:51:21,698
Dosas, dosas, $7.95.
798
00:51:21,700 --> 00:51:27,704
For you, $3.97, half price,
even rounded down, just for you.
799
00:51:28,841 --> 00:51:29,841
Dosas?
800
00:51:32,344 --> 00:51:34,244
You know, we could
totally debug with this.
801
00:51:34,246 --> 00:51:35,345
The money's really good.
802
00:51:35,347 --> 00:51:37,647
Sweet, where's Raj?
803
00:51:37,883 --> 00:51:41,351
Pounding the proverbial payment,
trying to find a buyer.
804
00:51:42,121 --> 00:51:43,753
Also trying to avoid the bar.
805
00:51:43,755 --> 00:51:46,523
Yeah, not the ideal location.
806
00:51:46,525 --> 00:51:47,525
Mm-hmm.
807
00:51:51,730 --> 00:51:54,698
- Dosa?
- -Hey, how's it going, is it perfect?
808
00:51:54,700 --> 00:52:00,137
Is it perfect?
Um, it's as good as it can be
given the circumstances.
809
00:52:00,606 --> 00:52:03,473
- Great, whatever it takes.
- So, that's how it works?
810
00:52:03,475 --> 00:52:07,377
You know I'm the one who's
putting the most work on this
app, where's my ownership?
811
00:52:07,379 --> 00:52:11,214
You are not legally
responsible for any of this.
812
00:52:12,184 --> 00:52:14,484
Wow, now you're getting legal.
813
00:52:15,287 --> 00:52:17,420
You know what,
we should've never...
814
00:52:18,624 --> 00:52:20,824
Forget it, let me just finish.
815
00:53:34,333 --> 00:53:37,267
Well, well,
look who decided to show up.
816
00:53:38,270 --> 00:53:39,869
- You look absolutely...
- Sit down.
817
00:53:39,871 --> 00:53:41,338
OK.
818
00:53:42,808 --> 00:53:46,409
Got you a decaf. Wasn't sure if
you could handle adult drinks.
819
00:53:47,546 --> 00:53:48,678
Sip it.
820
00:53:51,617 --> 00:53:52,617
Both hands.
821
00:53:58,757 --> 00:53:59,757
Thank you.
822
00:54:05,264 --> 00:54:06,696
Your eyes are ducking beautiful.
823
00:54:07,933 --> 00:54:10,734
Ducking.
824
00:54:10,736 --> 00:54:12,435
Ducking, ducking phone.
825
00:54:12,437 --> 00:54:14,871
What the hell are you talking
about? What do you want?
826
00:54:14,873 --> 00:54:16,439
To get to know you better.
827
00:54:16,441 --> 00:54:19,042
No, you don't.
828
00:54:19,911 --> 00:54:22,312
You want something else.
829
00:54:22,314 --> 00:54:23,947
Come on, skippy, cough it up.
830
00:54:26,952 --> 00:54:30,053
A few months ago we put in
an application for
the Startup Olympics.
831
00:54:30,055 --> 00:54:33,757
Ah, and you want me to what?
832
00:54:34,826 --> 00:54:38,662
Make a special slot for you
and just slide you in?
833
00:54:38,664 --> 00:54:41,965
Put my reputation on the line
for your garbage little app
834
00:54:41,967 --> 00:54:44,434
in the Startup Olympics?
835
00:54:46,672 --> 00:54:49,906
Pathos is just so...
836
00:54:58,650 --> 00:54:59,983
I'm pretty pathetic.
837
00:54:59,985 --> 00:55:00,917
You sure are.
838
00:55:00,919 --> 00:55:03,653
I invested all my
money in this app.
839
00:55:03,655 --> 00:55:08,725
-Hm... Horrible idea.
-Oh, yeah,
I live with my parents.
840
00:55:08,727 --> 00:55:10,794
I knew it when I first saw you.
841
00:55:10,796 --> 00:55:13,330
Sometimes I urinate
sitting down.
842
00:55:13,332 --> 00:55:15,465
- Um, you animal.
- Yes.
843
00:55:16,068 --> 00:55:17,400
Bark like a dog.
844
00:55:17,836 --> 00:55:18,836
Ow!
845
00:55:20,839 --> 00:55:21,771
Louder.
846
00:55:21,773 --> 00:55:22,906
Ow!
847
00:55:24,476 --> 00:55:26,042
Give me more chihuahua.
848
00:55:32,417 --> 00:55:34,484
I need a footstool,
on the ground.
849
00:55:37,989 --> 00:55:43,827
-Sing happy birthday.
-♪ Happy birthday to youHappy birthday Mr. President
850
00:55:43,829 --> 00:55:46,463
Why would you
sing to the president?
851
00:55:46,465 --> 00:55:49,032
-I don't know, it felt right.
-OK, you know what,
get up, you idiot.
852
00:55:49,034 --> 00:55:50,700
OK, ow!
853
00:55:52,838 --> 00:55:54,804
- That hurt?
- Mm-hmm.
854
00:55:54,806 --> 00:55:57,574
Listen to me,
and listen closely.
855
00:56:00,011 --> 00:56:04,914
I'm gonna put
your little piece of shit app
856
00:56:04,916 --> 00:56:06,950
into the Olympics, huh?
857
00:56:09,688 --> 00:56:12,922
Just so I can watch you
humiliate yourself
858
00:56:12,924 --> 00:56:18,495
in front of everyone
and our global live feed,
859
00:56:18,497 --> 00:56:22,966
which is going all over MyFace.
860
00:56:22,968 --> 00:56:24,734
Yes, all over MyFace.
861
00:56:24,736 --> 00:56:26,403
Expect an email shortly.
862
00:56:28,473 --> 00:56:29,773
I will look for it desperately.
863
00:56:31,710 --> 00:56:33,510
- You disgust me.
- Thank you.
864
00:56:41,620 --> 00:56:42,620
Yes.
865
00:56:45,791 --> 00:56:47,951
Guys, check out the email
I just forwarded you.
866
00:56:48,427 --> 00:56:50,727
We just got
into the Startup Olympics.
867
00:56:50,729 --> 00:56:52,629
Huge accomplishment, baby!
868
00:56:55,467 --> 00:56:58,067
Complimentary dosas
on the house.
869
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:05,542
Thanks for your generosity,
but I'm a bit busy
compiling your MVP.
870
00:57:06,044 --> 00:57:08,211
But hey, congrats, with Sierra.
871
00:57:08,980 --> 00:57:09,980
Wink.
872
00:57:19,991 --> 00:57:23,893
- Hey, can I talk to you.
- I think my contract is up, right?
873
00:57:25,130 --> 00:57:26,130
Ah.
874
00:57:27,165 --> 00:57:28,097
That's our cue.
875
00:57:28,099 --> 00:57:30,099
What? Guys...
876
00:57:31,837 --> 00:57:32,837
Hey.
877
00:57:34,906 --> 00:57:36,072
Is the coast clear?
878
00:57:39,110 --> 00:57:41,478
Oh, my God, what happened?
879
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,012
He got his ass kicked.
880
00:57:43,014 --> 00:57:45,682
Look, Phil, I just need
60 seconds of your time.
881
00:57:45,684 --> 00:57:49,118
Hey... Yeah, I'm gonna have
to call you back.
882
00:57:50,555 --> 00:57:53,189
Full recovery in a month.
Won't be able to talk until then.
883
00:57:53,191 --> 00:57:54,757
I'm gonna need blink treatment.
884
00:57:54,759 --> 00:57:56,659
One blink is yes, two is no.
885
00:57:57,529 --> 00:57:58,529
Was this Vince?
886
00:57:59,698 --> 00:58:01,778
You know we got
into the Startup Olympics?
887
00:58:02,601 --> 00:58:03,766
Who's gonna present?
888
00:58:04,569 --> 00:58:06,503
Me?
889
00:58:06,505 --> 00:58:07,505
We're screwed.
890
00:58:09,908 --> 00:58:14,043
Connect2U is
the app of connection
891
00:58:14,045 --> 00:58:20,984
in the augmented reality era,
the ARE... So stupid.
892
00:58:20,986 --> 00:58:24,153
Hi, I'm Eric Newman, and what
I'm about to present you with
893
00:58:24,155 --> 00:58:26,523
will change your life.
894
00:58:26,525 --> 00:58:30,760
Connect2U is like an average
app, but we really need
895
00:58:30,762 --> 00:58:33,563
the money because
if we don't get it then I die.
896
00:58:47,712 --> 00:58:50,747
Connect2U is likely the most
preferred method of people
897
00:58:50,749 --> 00:58:53,750
communicating digitally
with each other to express
898
00:58:53,752 --> 00:58:55,985
their mutual appreciation.
899
00:58:58,723 --> 00:58:59,756
Yeah.
900
00:59:01,893 --> 00:59:07,263
Hey, Owl, this is Turtle,
the guy that learns things
901
00:59:07,265 --> 00:59:12,068
really slowly, but does
get it in the end.
902
00:59:12,070 --> 00:59:14,871
Case in point, Crapchat filters.
903
00:59:15,273 --> 00:59:17,307
You like? Learning,
904
00:59:17,309 --> 00:59:23,212
also learning how bad
a communicator I am.
905
00:59:23,848 --> 00:59:25,982
And I'm sorry.
906
00:59:26,685 --> 00:59:30,086
And want to talk to you.
907
00:59:30,889 --> 00:59:37,026
And hope we can talk
about the pitch.
908
00:59:37,028 --> 00:59:40,163
But really just connect
909
00:59:40,699 --> 00:59:43,099
in general
910
00:59:43,234 --> 00:59:45,168
so I can connect to you,
911
00:59:46,972 --> 00:59:49,105
like in real life.
912
01:00:06,124 --> 01:00:07,657
Stop filming me.
913
01:00:09,294 --> 01:00:10,693
Seriously, stop.
914
01:00:10,695 --> 01:00:12,161
- No.
- Stop.
915
01:00:12,163 --> 01:00:14,163
- No, no, no!
- Stop!
916
01:00:27,679 --> 01:00:28,811
That was easy.
917
01:01:44,289 --> 01:01:46,089
Huh, aw...
918
01:01:46,091 --> 01:01:47,091
Shit!
919
01:01:49,394 --> 01:01:50,394
Shit!
920
01:02:12,283 --> 01:02:13,283
Eric.
921
01:02:14,753 --> 01:02:15,753
Small world.
922
01:02:17,922 --> 01:02:20,757
You've come a long way, but you
are hella late, follow me.
923
01:02:22,827 --> 01:02:24,327
Straight through here, come on.
924
01:02:27,799 --> 01:02:28,799
Toss that.
925
01:02:31,169 --> 01:02:33,035
- Come on, they're waiting.
- -Yeah.
926
01:02:33,037 --> 01:02:34,197
Come on, come on, come on.
927
01:02:50,288 --> 01:02:53,022
So, if you need to plug in
your computer, you can
do it by the board
928
01:02:53,024 --> 01:02:56,993
right over there.
All right, come on,
sit down. Let's set you up.
929
01:03:01,399 --> 01:03:03,266
Feel good? All right.
930
01:03:03,968 --> 01:03:07,203
This thing's gonna be on you
full-time, so don't say
anything stupid,
931
01:03:07,205 --> 01:03:09,372
and don't go
to the bathroom, all right?
932
01:03:09,374 --> 01:03:11,274
Hey, man, solidarity.
933
01:03:12,811 --> 01:03:13,943
Fuck the patriarchy.
934
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:23,519
Is this thing on?
935
01:03:24,823 --> 01:03:29,525
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the Startup Olympics!
936
01:03:29,527 --> 01:03:34,564
Woo!
937
01:03:34,566 --> 01:03:38,234
I cannot tell you how exciting
this is for me to do the city
938
01:03:38,236 --> 01:03:42,872
the honor of bringing some
of the best that we have
to offer to the world.
939
01:03:43,308 --> 01:03:47,510
So, some ground rules,
we have four presentations
940
01:03:47,512 --> 01:03:51,347
to four judges
who are the uber blogger
941
01:03:51,349 --> 01:03:54,250
from Apptitude, Sierra Miller.
942
01:03:58,256 --> 01:04:01,490
Lion's Den judge,
Kevin O'Malley.
943
01:04:04,095 --> 01:04:07,363
Child gift unboxer, Karin Ho!
944
01:04:11,135 --> 01:04:15,204
And now, you guys are going
to freak when you hear this.
945
01:04:15,206 --> 01:04:19,041
Ladies and gentlemen,
your fourth judge,
the legend himself,
946
01:04:19,043 --> 01:04:21,110
Dirk Von Dijk!
947
01:04:32,023 --> 01:04:35,491
I'm thrilled, any words
of wisdom before we begin?
948
01:04:36,261 --> 01:04:40,162
Be yourself
and you will always fail,
949
01:04:40,164 --> 01:04:41,564
and that is a good thing.
950
01:04:43,401 --> 01:04:48,070
It sure is.
All right, so just a reminder
that the grand prize today
951
01:04:48,072 --> 01:04:52,475
is $500,000 in equity infusion
952
01:04:52,477 --> 01:04:56,045
from Perkiledge Capital,
yours truly.
953
01:04:56,047 --> 01:05:00,449
Big money, big pressure,
so let the games begin.
954
01:05:00,451 --> 01:05:04,153
First up, FOMO NOMO.
955
01:05:09,027 --> 01:05:14,130
In today's day and age,
it's hard not to feel FOMO,
956
01:05:14,132 --> 01:05:16,532
the fear of missing out.
957
01:05:16,534 --> 01:05:20,536
With FOMO NOMO you can
seamlessly add yourself
958
01:05:20,538 --> 01:05:23,506
into your friends'
and loved ones' experiences.
959
01:05:27,712 --> 01:05:31,080
As dog trainers, we know
teaching dogs where and how
960
01:05:31,082 --> 01:05:33,950
to poop is
of the utmost importance.
961
01:05:33,952 --> 01:05:36,352
But what if we could leverage
the internet of things to know
962
01:05:36,354 --> 01:05:39,554
where that poop was,
when it was happening,
and how to optimize it?
963
01:05:40,091 --> 01:05:44,694
Pupu is the world's first
RFID-driven feces monitoring
platform for dog lovers.
964
01:05:44,696 --> 01:05:47,730
- Pupu, see poo later.
965
01:05:48,266 --> 01:05:51,067
So, the next one,
full disclosure, folks,
966
01:05:51,069 --> 01:05:53,736
these guys spent the last couple
of months in our brand new
967
01:05:53,738 --> 01:05:58,007
Perkiledge-mantor program,
full service mentorship
968
01:05:58,009 --> 01:06:02,478
for man teams in self-
confidence, image, and legal.
969
01:06:02,480 --> 01:06:07,984
So, let's give it up for Tok2Me.
970
01:06:11,222 --> 01:06:15,458
Have you ever been in a café
and wanted to communicate...
971
01:06:16,761 --> 01:06:18,761
with the people around you?
972
01:06:20,164 --> 01:06:23,632
It's amazing
that in this day and age,
973
01:06:23,634 --> 01:06:26,369
we can know what somebody's
thinking on the other side
of the ocean,
974
01:06:26,371 --> 01:06:31,607
but we can't connect
to the people next to us.
975
01:06:31,609 --> 01:06:33,509
- Talk to me.
976
01:06:33,511 --> 01:06:37,279
Tok2Me lets you communicate...
977
01:06:37,281 --> 01:06:39,548
with the people in your space,
978
01:06:40,118 --> 01:06:43,185
and gather authentic
communication.
979
01:06:44,055 --> 01:06:45,454
That's us in a nutshell.
980
01:06:46,224 --> 01:06:47,224
Feedback?
981
01:06:51,095 --> 01:06:53,462
That's what I like to hear.
982
01:06:55,033 --> 01:06:56,532
Loser.
983
01:06:59,237 --> 01:07:02,738
Before we go to the judges,
we have a late entrant
984
01:07:02,740 --> 01:07:07,076
in this year's competition
through the back door.
985
01:07:07,078 --> 01:07:09,345
His name is Roger Patel,
and his app,
986
01:07:09,347 --> 01:07:12,448
I think it's an app, Connect2U.
987
01:07:13,317 --> 01:07:15,751
You can do this,
you can do this, buddy.
988
01:07:16,621 --> 01:07:17,621
You got it.
989
01:07:30,435 --> 01:07:36,372
Actually, it's not Roger,
it's Raj, but he's not here.
990
01:07:38,076 --> 01:07:42,578
Actually, he is here,
he's in a handicap chair
'cause he's beaten.
991
01:07:42,580 --> 01:07:43,612
He can't talk.
992
01:07:44,649 --> 01:07:46,482
I'll do the talking.
993
01:07:47,618 --> 01:07:49,652
Yeah. Um...
994
01:07:54,525 --> 01:07:56,425
This guy's horrible.
995
01:07:56,861 --> 01:07:59,161
OK, the computer's not working.
996
01:08:01,132 --> 01:08:02,598
He's horrible.
997
01:08:03,401 --> 01:08:07,403
OK, uh, I'm Eric.
998
01:08:08,773 --> 01:08:09,773
I'm...
999
01:08:11,442 --> 01:08:14,477
I'm Eric Newman.
1000
01:08:17,682 --> 01:08:18,714
I'm Eric Newman.
1001
01:08:23,387 --> 01:08:24,787
I'm Eric.
1002
01:08:28,126 --> 01:08:29,126
I'm Eric.
1003
01:08:37,535 --> 01:08:39,135
I'm Eric Newman.
1004
01:08:41,239 --> 01:08:45,374
I'm a failed analyst,
entrepreneur and musician.
1005
01:08:47,145 --> 01:08:49,778
But actually, I'm a fraud.
1006
01:08:53,217 --> 01:08:58,654
I'm trying to fit myself into
a box that I can't fit into, OK?
1007
01:08:58,656 --> 01:09:03,859
I'm under stupid pressure
to raise
a stupid amount of money
1008
01:09:04,228 --> 01:09:07,663
for really stupid ideas, OK?
1009
01:09:07,665 --> 01:09:13,402
Ideas that are like, not like
based on love or interest
1010
01:09:13,538 --> 01:09:16,205
or passion,
but, this is so stupid,
1011
01:09:16,207 --> 01:09:18,774
they're based on being
a billionaire, OK?
1012
01:09:18,776 --> 01:09:20,876
Billi Club,
as you like to call it.
1013
01:09:20,878 --> 01:09:23,546
It's not about you,
it's all about myself.
1014
01:09:23,548 --> 01:09:27,349
It's all about validating myself
and finding a place for me.
1015
01:09:27,351 --> 01:09:29,952
That's the whole thing
about this whole tech-ish world.
1016
01:09:29,954 --> 01:09:34,423
It's all these promises
of finding solutions
for your lives
1017
01:09:34,425 --> 01:09:35,925
and improving your lives.
1018
01:09:36,727 --> 01:09:37,727
Here's the thing.
1019
01:09:40,298 --> 01:09:43,566
It's bullshit, it's bullshit.
1020
01:09:43,568 --> 01:09:45,734
The whole thing is bullshit, OK?
1021
01:09:45,736 --> 01:09:51,907
I have sacrificed my time,
my money, my relationships
1022
01:09:51,909 --> 01:09:53,876
on complete bullshit.
1023
01:09:53,878 --> 01:09:57,313
I literally prostituted myself.
1024
01:09:58,349 --> 01:10:02,585
I could give you the pitch for
the app, but it was just done
1025
01:10:02,587 --> 01:10:05,888
so beautifully
by Jerkovsky over there,
1026
01:10:05,890 --> 01:10:11,727
who actually just stole
the idea together with the host
of this whole presentation.
1027
01:10:11,729 --> 01:10:15,464
But the truth is, I don't know,
maybe I got the idea from them.
1028
01:10:15,733 --> 01:10:19,868
I mean, does it really matter?
Like a lot of people have
the same good ideas.
1029
01:10:19,870 --> 01:10:25,541
Ultimately, do you have
the power to push through
all this bullshit?
1030
01:10:26,844 --> 01:10:32,014
And I guess the point is,
I'm coming to realize
that I don't.
1031
01:10:34,385 --> 01:10:38,320
You know, I wish instead
of this bullshit app,
1032
01:10:38,322 --> 01:10:42,391
I had just spent the time
to connect with actual people.
1033
01:10:43,327 --> 01:10:45,794
Like wouldn't that have been
smarter and simpler,
1034
01:10:45,796 --> 01:10:47,463
like really talking to girls?
1035
01:10:47,465 --> 01:10:52,001
Ask yourself,
is this really what you want
to do with your life?
1036
01:10:52,003 --> 01:10:55,337
You're running a dog shit
company, and you want to insert
1037
01:10:55,339 --> 01:10:58,440
yourself into pictures
with people who don't want you
1038
01:10:58,442 --> 01:10:59,842
there in the first place.
1039
01:10:59,844 --> 01:11:01,677
Look...
1040
01:11:02,413 --> 01:11:05,347
I don't have that much time left
on this stage
1041
01:11:06,017 --> 01:11:08,684
- or on this planet.
- Oh, my God, he's terminal.
1042
01:11:08,986 --> 01:11:11,787
But what I would've
done was just,
1043
01:11:11,789 --> 01:11:13,789
I should've just been honest.
1044
01:11:14,425 --> 01:11:16,492
I should've just done
this earlier.
1045
01:11:16,494 --> 01:11:21,597
And then that way I really
could have connected to you.
1046
01:11:23,034 --> 01:11:24,833
It's Pornknob.
1047
01:11:26,304 --> 01:11:28,003
Oh.
1048
01:11:28,005 --> 01:11:31,407
OK, let's be honest,
this is no filter.
1049
01:11:31,409 --> 01:11:34,543
This is my screen
from last night.
1050
01:11:34,545 --> 01:11:38,047
That's me putting up my
ShitKicker campaign
for my music.
1051
01:11:38,049 --> 01:11:41,917
That's really what I want to do.
It's crap music, no one's
ever gonna listen to it.
1052
01:11:41,919 --> 01:11:43,819
It doesn't matter,
it's what I love.
1053
01:11:43,821 --> 01:11:46,922
It's like Jeanine said,
that's where my heart is.
1054
01:11:47,692 --> 01:11:48,957
That's where my heart is.
1055
01:11:50,461 --> 01:11:52,394
Oh, yeah, and Pornknob.
So, let's be honest,
1056
01:11:52,396 --> 01:11:54,897
I was looking
at pornography last night.
1057
01:11:54,899 --> 01:11:59,568
But you know what?
By show of hands,
how many people here
1058
01:11:59,570 --> 01:12:04,006
were looking at pornography
between the hours of midnight
1059
01:12:04,008 --> 01:12:06,875
and five a.m. last night, huh?
1060
01:12:17,621 --> 01:12:21,123
Yes. See, can we just be
honest, can we, yes!
1061
01:12:22,093 --> 01:12:25,060
Yes,
that's what I'm talking about.
1062
01:12:25,062 --> 01:12:28,364
This is it,
this is radical honesty, people.
1063
01:12:28,366 --> 01:12:34,436
This is awesome, come on,
people, we can connect,
feel, be honest.
1064
01:12:34,438 --> 01:12:38,407
Connection, that's what I'm
talking about, people, yes!
1065
01:12:38,409 --> 01:12:40,943
Connect, you can connect!
1066
01:12:40,945 --> 01:12:45,447
That's why we will Connect2U!
1067
01:12:51,889 --> 01:12:52,889
Yeah!
1068
01:12:54,658 --> 01:12:57,626
Hey, hey, do you do
weddings, bar mitzvahs?
1069
01:12:58,129 --> 01:13:01,630
OK, we're gonna let
our judges mingle,
and we'll be back
1070
01:13:01,632 --> 01:13:04,133
with the grand prize
winner in one minute.
1071
01:13:07,405 --> 01:13:09,538
That was amazing.
1072
01:13:09,540 --> 01:13:13,675
Uh, you just saved my life
for five minutes.
1073
01:13:13,677 --> 01:13:14,943
You did that.
1074
01:13:14,945 --> 01:13:16,678
Look, I have to tell the truth.
1075
01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:19,681
You're in deep shit,
I know, Vipin told me.
1076
01:13:19,683 --> 01:13:23,652
Look, you'll find
a way out of this, OK?
1077
01:13:24,755 --> 01:13:28,190
Ladies and gentlemen, we're
ready to announce the grand
prize winner
1078
01:13:28,192 --> 01:13:30,192
of this year's Startup Olympics.
1079
01:13:30,194 --> 01:13:31,460
Drum roll.
1080
01:13:32,730 --> 01:13:33,796
Tok2Me!
1081
01:13:34,532 --> 01:13:37,132
Tok2Me, people!
1082
01:13:37,501 --> 01:13:39,501
- Yeah!
- Yes, you can clap.
1083
01:13:40,905 --> 01:13:44,773
And some bonus news.
Dirk Von Dyke has offered
1084
01:13:44,775 --> 01:13:47,209
to match our equity contribution
1085
01:13:47,211 --> 01:13:51,780
to the tune of a grand
prize of one million dollars
1086
01:13:51,782 --> 01:13:54,783
in equity funding for Tok2Me.
1087
01:13:54,885 --> 01:13:58,086
Thank you so much everyone
for making this day so special.
1088
01:13:58,155 --> 01:13:59,888
PerkiledgeCapital.com.
1089
01:14:02,760 --> 01:14:06,562
God, shit, shit, stupid
wheelchair access.
1090
01:14:15,039 --> 01:14:18,106
Gentlemen, this is my father.
1091
01:14:20,911 --> 01:14:23,812
Gentlemen, Vin tells me
that you won everybody
1092
01:14:23,814 --> 01:14:26,548
over with your speech, congrats.
1093
01:14:27,184 --> 01:14:28,884
But you didn't win.
1094
01:14:33,224 --> 01:14:36,158
Am I correct in thinking
that you can't do good
on your loan today?
1095
01:14:36,160 --> 01:14:37,759
That's correct, sir.
1096
01:14:37,761 --> 01:14:40,162
Vito, I'm the financier.
1097
01:14:41,065 --> 01:14:44,633
Vince, I'm trying
to teach him the business,
he's my gadgets guy.
1098
01:14:44,635 --> 01:14:47,903
I don't understand
how I'm gonna make money
on that app.
1099
01:14:47,905 --> 01:14:51,240
What I do know is your father
owns the building next door.
1100
01:14:51,242 --> 01:14:53,675
I'd like to finally
get my hands on it.
1101
01:14:53,677 --> 01:14:55,744
Vince, this is a secured loan.
1102
01:14:55,746 --> 01:14:57,579
You don't lend money
to people with no credit.
1103
01:14:57,581 --> 01:15:01,917
Always back it up
with an asset, huh?
1104
01:15:02,253 --> 01:15:04,520
And that's why I wanted
you personally to come here
1105
01:15:04,522 --> 01:15:07,155
and explain to me how,
if not that way,
am I gonna make
1106
01:15:07,157 --> 01:15:10,692
a lot of money on this
incredible invention of yours.
1107
01:15:10,694 --> 01:15:13,896
So, elevator pitch, no pressure.
1108
01:15:16,133 --> 01:15:19,835
Connect2U
is the app of connection
1109
01:15:19,837 --> 01:15:24,039
- in the augmented reality era.
- - He has no idea what he wants to do.
1110
01:15:24,041 --> 01:15:27,776
You're CEO, hustle, playa.
I did not sell it, it was a loan.
1111
01:15:27,778 --> 01:15:31,813
I thought this was a convertible loan.
Convertible loan, convertible loan.
1112
01:15:31,815 --> 01:15:35,851
Two words, convertible loan.
1113
01:15:38,956 --> 01:15:40,796
I'm gonna level with you, Vito.
1114
01:15:41,725 --> 01:15:44,126
This is not
an incredible invention.
1115
01:15:44,128 --> 01:15:46,261
This is an app like
millions of others.
1116
01:15:47,197 --> 01:15:49,865
Some of them are successes,
most don't even come close.
1117
01:15:50,200 --> 01:15:53,400
Odds are this isn't going
to be downloaded by more
than 100 people.
1118
01:15:53,871 --> 01:15:56,772
But let me tell you
why we're going
to strike a deal right now
1119
01:15:56,774 --> 01:16:00,042
and we're going
to walk out of here
the same way we walked in.
1120
01:16:00,044 --> 01:16:03,278
You're not going
to get your investment
back from Connect2U,
1121
01:16:03,280 --> 01:16:07,916
but what you will get
is the ultimate front.
1122
01:16:08,986 --> 01:16:12,054
You're taking money
from your core business,
1123
01:16:12,056 --> 01:16:15,257
and you're investing it
into your tech venture.
1124
01:16:15,960 --> 01:16:18,727
Forgive the loan,
take the company,
1125
01:16:18,729 --> 01:16:21,229
and enjoy the losses
for years to come.
1126
01:16:22,366 --> 01:16:25,901
Me, I want a write-off
that brings in cash.
1127
01:16:25,903 --> 01:16:27,983
How's you're app going
to bring cash, huh?
1128
01:16:32,276 --> 01:16:33,609
You like cash?
1129
01:16:34,278 --> 01:16:36,078
How about geocache?
1130
01:16:37,615 --> 01:16:39,247
We built an app
that allows people
1131
01:16:39,249 --> 01:16:42,150
to go on anonymous
scavenger hunts.
1132
01:16:42,152 --> 01:16:46,755
That means pick-ups
and drop-offs untraceable,
1133
01:16:46,757 --> 01:16:50,859
and you can exchange virtual
currency on the platform.
1134
01:16:50,861 --> 01:16:52,628
This is called geocaching.
1135
01:16:52,630 --> 01:16:54,229
That's what I've been
talking about, Pa.
1136
01:16:54,231 --> 01:16:56,198
Think about what we
can use this for.
1137
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:58,700
It's like having our own
private phone company.
1138
01:17:00,938 --> 01:17:03,905
Untraceable pick-ups
and drop-offs.
1139
01:17:16,854 --> 01:17:21,289
For my dumbest kid
you're a freakin' genius.
1140
01:17:21,291 --> 01:17:24,159
Moah! Bello di Papa.
1141
01:17:24,995 --> 01:17:28,797
It's a pleasure to see the three
of you do crime together,
1142
01:17:28,799 --> 01:17:32,768
and in your own generation.
Gentlemen, a pleasure.
1143
01:17:35,105 --> 01:17:38,106
I assume you understand
the non-disclosure agreement.
1144
01:17:43,313 --> 01:17:44,746
Yeah.
1145
01:17:45,315 --> 01:17:46,315
Mm-hmm.
1146
01:17:49,086 --> 01:17:53,422
That was a pretty good show
tonight. Your mother
showed me your video.
1147
01:17:55,459 --> 01:17:57,826
I didn't know you could
speak like that, it was good.
1148
01:17:59,229 --> 01:18:00,696
You've got balls, Son.
1149
01:18:02,266 --> 01:18:03,266
Thanks, Dad.
1150
01:18:07,471 --> 01:18:08,437
Wait, what video?
1151
01:18:08,439 --> 01:18:12,407
You're a star,
it's a virus video.
1152
01:18:23,787 --> 01:18:27,422
Yeah. Hey, Vipin, can you get
some more SEO juice on awkward?
1153
01:18:28,392 --> 01:18:30,192
Can't wait to see how
much he can boost this.
1154
01:18:30,194 --> 01:18:32,027
That's what she had said.
1155
01:18:35,833 --> 01:18:37,332
You just hit 300K.
1156
01:18:38,435 --> 01:18:39,468
Awesome.
1157
01:18:43,841 --> 01:18:44,973
Well, it's about time.
1158
01:18:46,877 --> 01:18:51,947
- Oh.
1159
01:19:09,199 --> 01:19:10,832
Yay!
90772
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