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1
00:00:13,988 --> 00:00:16,566
The mud is wonderful
under the falls!
2
00:00:24,822 --> 00:00:27,221
Rhea! Watch what you're doing!
3
00:00:28,085 --> 00:00:29,882
You're not a child!
You're an Amazon!
4
00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:31,790
Sorry, Cyane.
5
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,133
- You too, Eris.
- Not me!
6
00:00:34,422 --> 00:00:37,719
Xena says it's good to have
a balance of work and play.
7
00:00:38,232 --> 00:00:39,618
- And who wouldn't wanna play?
- Xena say's...
8
00:00:39,643 --> 00:00:41,956
When you've got a cute,
little baby like Eve around...
9
00:00:42,372 --> 00:00:45,630
- Ah, what a doll!
- Xena's so lucky.
10
00:01:00,010 --> 00:01:02,354
If you ask me,
Gabrielle's the lucky one...
11
00:01:02,526 --> 00:01:04,370
having Xena for a best friend.
12
00:01:04,612 --> 00:01:06,518
Well, I wouldn't go
getting too attached.
13
00:01:06,899 --> 00:01:08,868
They'll probably be
moving on any day now.
14
00:01:09,175 --> 00:01:11,066
Well, I wouldn't be too sure.
15
00:01:11,706 --> 00:01:12,581
What do you mean?
16
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:15,829
I asked Gabrielle to stay
and be our permanent queen.
17
00:01:16,221 --> 00:01:18,362
You did?
That's great!
18
00:01:18,811 --> 00:01:21,061
Then Xena and Eve will stay too!
19
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:24,095
You had no right to speak
for the tribe, Eris.
20
00:01:24,355 --> 00:01:25,253
Why not?
21
00:01:25,278 --> 00:01:27,794
Everyone loves them!
Who wouldn't want them to stay?
22
00:01:28,738 --> 00:01:29,769
What'd she say?
23
00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,449
She didn't say yes yet.
24
00:01:31,474 --> 00:01:35,056
But she did say she'd think about it,
so, keep your fingers crossed.
25
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,730
Don't shoot!
Lady with a baby.
26
00:01:55,876 --> 00:01:58,588
It's for the baby, goober.
It's a swing. Here.
27
00:01:58,791 --> 00:01:59,634
Put her in it.
28
00:02:01,402 --> 00:02:05,239
Here you go. Easy now.
Aren't you a lucky girl?
29
00:02:06,701 --> 00:02:07,998
There you go, Eve.
30
00:02:12,055 --> 00:02:14,000
- She likes it.
- But of course.
31
00:02:14,774 --> 00:02:16,264
I always knew it was gonna happen.
32
00:02:17,061 --> 00:02:19,608
- You're nesting.
- Nesting? 'Cause I built a swing?
33
00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:23,681
Xena, it's perfectly natural.
You're a mother.
34
00:02:23,885 --> 00:02:25,876
Actually, I feel the same way.
35
00:02:26,133 --> 00:02:27,333
What way is that?
36
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,448
Have you ever thought
about settling down?
37
00:02:31,972 --> 00:02:32,730
Here?
38
00:02:33,192 --> 00:02:35,090
Like when I'm too old
to do kicks and stuff?
39
00:02:35,513 --> 00:02:36,810
No, I mean right now.
40
00:02:37,012 --> 00:02:40,035
Xena, it's a beautiful place.
You could raise Eve here.
41
00:02:43,781 --> 00:02:45,015
What are you talking about?
42
00:02:46,260 --> 00:02:47,721
These kids need someone.
43
00:02:48,307 --> 00:02:50,354
They need guidance.
They need... me.
44
00:02:52,788 --> 00:02:55,749
Gabrielle, are you saying that you
wanna stay here and be queen?
45
00:02:55,906 --> 00:02:57,297
Well, only if you
and Eve would stay.
46
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,523
I think you should consider it.
47
00:03:04,486 --> 00:03:06,627
You wanna stay, don't you?
48
00:03:07,474 --> 00:03:08,576
Don't you?
49
00:03:21,012 --> 00:03:22,707
Amazons! An intruder!
50
00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:25,352
Flank the pond!
51
00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:29,060
Go, get him!
52
00:03:29,085 --> 00:03:32,187
- I'll get him!
- He's got something in his hand!
53
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,383
It's too small to be a weapon!
54
00:03:35,233 --> 00:03:36,436
It makes sense, Xena.
55
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,701
We've never really had
our own home.
56
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,503
So I see this place
as our domestic bliss.
57
00:03:42,528 --> 00:03:44,395
All we have to do
is fix it up a little bit.
58
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,510
It wouldn't hurt to consider it.
59
00:03:48,404 --> 00:03:49,201
Thanks.
60
00:03:59,932 --> 00:04:00,995
Queen Gabrielle...
61
00:04:01,195 --> 00:04:04,172
We bring you a man who has
violated a sacred Amazon law.
62
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,367
She means, he was peeking at us
from the bushes while we were bathing.
63
00:04:07,604 --> 00:04:10,135
This is a terrible offense
against our honor.
64
00:04:10,377 --> 00:04:13,963
Queen Gabrielle, the offender must
face the wrath of Amazon justice.
65
00:04:19,597 --> 00:04:20,785
Xena, Gab...
66
00:04:21,645 --> 00:04:22,872
No, ok, it was an accident.
67
00:04:22,897 --> 00:04:24,553
Why would I wanna
look at naked girls?
68
00:04:34,799 --> 00:04:36,952
In a time of ancient gods...
69
00:04:39,299 --> 00:04:40,812
...warlords...
70
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,344
...and kings...
71
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:45,913
A land in turmoil
cried out for a hero...
72
00:04:55,118 --> 00:04:56,951
She was Xena...
73
00:04:57,624 --> 00:05:01,420
a mighty princess,
forged in the heat of battle...
74
00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:06,974
...The power...
75
00:05:08,816 --> 00:05:09,980
...The passion...
76
00:05:13,389 --> 00:05:14,567
...The danger...
77
00:05:20,092 --> 00:05:22,661
Her courage will
change the world...
78
00:05:23,685 --> 00:05:27,072
Kindred Spirits
79
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:31,075
For looking at naked Amazons,
he has broken an Amazon law.
80
00:05:31,284 --> 00:05:33,378
He will have to suffer
the consequences.
81
00:05:33,737 --> 00:05:36,075
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I'm friends with Xena.
82
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:38,329
She's right there.
Go on. Tell 'em. Tell 'em.
83
00:05:44,432 --> 00:05:46,771
Did you bring the letter
from Cleopatra, like I asked?
84
00:05:46,949 --> 00:05:49,105
Oh, that?
I forgot again.
85
00:05:52,465 --> 00:05:53,271
Hello.
86
00:05:53,808 --> 00:05:54,670
Hey, cutey.
87
00:05:56,675 --> 00:05:58,576
Never saw this man before in my life.
88
00:05:59,909 --> 00:06:01,836
Do you deny spying on these women?
89
00:06:02,281 --> 00:06:03,265
I resent that.
90
00:06:03,953 --> 00:06:06,167
- Do you deny it?
- No, I just resent it.
91
00:06:06,682 --> 00:06:09,320
Put him in the stocks to await
the queen's judgment. Go!
92
00:06:11,189 --> 00:06:13,147
You know, I counted on him
and he let me down.
93
00:06:13,502 --> 00:06:14,861
If we build a porch...
94
00:06:15,147 --> 00:06:17,793
just around this side,
we could lay out there with Eve.
95
00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:20,393
Oh, my spine.
My sp...
96
00:06:29,829 --> 00:06:30,642
Cute kids.
97
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:38,827
Pervert! Loser! Fat creep!
Pervert! Loser! Fat creep!
98
00:06:38,828 --> 00:06:39,870
I'm not fat!
99
00:06:40,807 --> 00:06:41,792
I'm not fat!
100
00:06:42,454 --> 00:06:43,785
You little monsters!
101
00:06:46,027 --> 00:06:47,126
Hello!
102
00:06:47,594 --> 00:06:49,053
I brought something for you.
103
00:06:51,409 --> 00:06:54,231
You're so lucky to have
a mommy like Xena...
104
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,853
I never knew my parents.
105
00:06:56,368 --> 00:06:57,869
You know? If I had a daughter...
106
00:06:58,035 --> 00:07:01,019
I'd love her just as much
as your mommy loves you.
107
00:07:01,735 --> 00:07:03,478
Of course, first...
108
00:07:03,871 --> 00:07:05,343
I've gotta get close to a man...
109
00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:08,079
which isn't easy
when you're an Amazon.
110
00:07:10,545 --> 00:07:13,248
Hi! Hello!
Can you help me, please?
111
00:07:13,383 --> 00:07:14,112
Can you...?
112
00:07:14,375 --> 00:07:17,859
Ok. Hi. Can you...? Hello.
Please! Can you help me?
113
00:07:18,429 --> 00:07:20,538
Hey, fat pervert,
what do you want?
114
00:07:20,563 --> 00:07:22,374
Listen, I need to go.
115
00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:24,266
Forget it.
116
00:07:24,789 --> 00:07:25,977
No, wait! W-W-Wait.
117
00:07:26,263 --> 00:07:27,794
I didn't explain myself.
118
00:07:28,076 --> 00:07:31,166
I need to use...
the little warriors' room.
119
00:07:34,376 --> 00:07:35,959
Look... You can either...
120
00:07:36,506 --> 00:07:37,891
take me to those bushes over there...
121
00:07:38,342 --> 00:07:40,931
or... help me by dropping
my pants right here.
122
00:07:43,561 --> 00:07:45,530
Hey! Wait! Look...
123
00:07:47,146 --> 00:07:51,188
- Can you please just get Xena?
- Xena is busy, and so am I.
124
00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:54,324
Look... Just tell Xena
I'm here and she'll come.
125
00:07:55,116 --> 00:07:58,251
Xena says she never
saw you in her entire life.
126
00:07:58,386 --> 00:08:00,746
Sweetie, I am Joxer, the Mighty.
127
00:08:00,975 --> 00:08:02,636
I'm Xena's best pal.
128
00:08:03,671 --> 00:08:07,109
If you know Xena so well,
then tell me about her.
129
00:08:07,255 --> 00:08:09,196
What's her favorite weapon?
What does she like to do?
130
00:08:09,221 --> 00:08:11,468
I have a situation here!
131
00:08:11,837 --> 00:08:14,143
Fine! You help me,
and I'll help you.
132
00:08:14,168 --> 00:08:15,892
Ok. Fine, fine.
Whatever you wanna know.
133
00:08:19,158 --> 00:08:21,362
Well, for starters...
134
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,271
what does Xena look for
in a sidekick?
135
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,629
Oh, oh, well...
Lots of flips would be good...
136
00:08:27,654 --> 00:08:30,873
and... a good war cry is...
always tops on her list.
137
00:08:31,818 --> 00:08:33,198
- Thanks, Joxer.
- You're welcome.
138
00:08:33,223 --> 00:08:36,379
Now, could you...? Listen, if you
could... please help me with...?
139
00:08:36,677 --> 00:08:39,609
You could just...? Hello.
Could you...? Hi.
140
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,644
I had a man before
I joined the Amazons.
141
00:08:46,756 --> 00:08:48,871
It's tough for an Amazon to meet men.
142
00:08:49,039 --> 00:08:51,690
Well, I'm a virgin,
and I'm gonna stay that way forever.
143
00:08:51,981 --> 00:08:53,408
Forever's a long time.
144
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,173
What's it like? Being with a man?
145
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,595
The good news is...
it's different every time.
146
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,368
The bad news is
it's different every time.
147
00:09:03,881 --> 00:09:07,029
You're always hoping for Greek fire,
but sometimes you just get diddly.
148
00:09:07,945 --> 00:09:10,976
Xena has studied the subject more
than I have, but I think she's...
149
00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:14,676
trying to say that some people
are better lovers than others.
150
00:09:15,650 --> 00:09:17,400
What makes a man a good lover?
151
00:09:17,822 --> 00:09:19,166
Being gentle and kind?
152
00:09:19,413 --> 00:09:21,017
- No.
- Yes.
153
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:25,571
It's a complicated subject.
154
00:09:27,183 --> 00:09:29,631
You'll figure out what suits
you best as you get older.
155
00:09:30,174 --> 00:09:31,300
But how can I?
156
00:09:31,325 --> 00:09:33,891
Every time we see a man,
they want to kill us.
157
00:09:33,985 --> 00:09:35,798
How can we meet nice guys...
158
00:09:36,377 --> 00:09:38,185
even not-so-nice guys?
159
00:09:38,497 --> 00:09:40,116
It seems like a lost cause.
160
00:09:40,141 --> 00:09:42,776
You don't need a man,
unless you want a baby.
161
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:44,426
And we've got Eve to play with.
162
00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:45,654
Not for long.
163
00:09:45,762 --> 00:09:47,616
They're taking Eve
with them when they go.
164
00:09:48,056 --> 00:09:50,108
Actually we're considering
settling down here.
165
00:09:50,615 --> 00:09:52,047
You mean you might stay?
166
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:55,559
Great! We have to start
making preparations.
167
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,592
We need a formal coronation
for our new queen.
168
00:09:59,513 --> 00:10:01,466
Actually I think we're moving
a little fast here.
169
00:10:02,677 --> 00:10:04,891
Right.
We're only considering staying.
170
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,944
Hi! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I'm really sorry!
171
00:10:09,969 --> 00:10:11,548
I... I didn't mean to look at you!
172
00:10:11,573 --> 00:10:13,135
I don't even like looking
at naked girls.
173
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:16,592
I don't! Can you please get Xena?
I've been in here a really long time.
174
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,273
I'm so sorry...
175
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:20,941
Hello.
176
00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:22,491
Name's Joxer.
177
00:10:22,609 --> 00:10:26,882
Spelled J-O-X-E-RRRRRRRR.
Know what I mean?
178
00:10:27,459 --> 00:10:30,009
I'm a warrior.
I've killed a lot of people.
179
00:10:30,177 --> 00:10:31,896
That turn you on?
Killing people?
180
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:46,342
- What was that?
- Was that you?
181
00:10:51,923 --> 00:10:53,345
That's the ram's horn.
182
00:10:54,691 --> 00:10:57,871
The Amazons use it to call
the queen to the ceremonies.
183
00:10:58,606 --> 00:11:01,098
I've been encouraging them
to repect their traditions.
184
00:11:04,675 --> 00:11:05,995
It's ridiculous.
185
00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:08,989
I'm going.
186
00:11:10,782 --> 00:11:13,462
You know what, Gabrielle?
I don't know that this is gonna work.
187
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:16,833
Look, what am I supposed to do around
here all day while you're off queening?
188
00:11:17,117 --> 00:11:18,062
Relax.
189
00:11:18,805 --> 00:11:20,000
Yeah, that's me...
190
00:11:20,383 --> 00:11:22,196
You could try cleaning
this place up a bit...
191
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:23,922
Playing with your daughter...
192
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:26,689
Unless you just want to
hunt and kill something.
193
00:11:28,635 --> 00:11:30,908
Yeah... I might just do that.
194
00:11:35,154 --> 00:11:36,045
I'm going.
195
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,740
All right, Evie. Come on.
196
00:11:50,336 --> 00:11:51,093
Morning.
197
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:53,804
You know, I could listen
to that for days.
198
00:11:55,207 --> 00:11:57,639
Oh, that's better, huh?
199
00:11:58,392 --> 00:12:01,337
Oh, Evie... You know what?
200
00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:03,910
One day all of this will be yours.
201
00:12:08,225 --> 00:12:09,100
Mind you...
202
00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:11,803
here you're safe
from the Greek gods.
203
00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:13,855
Gabrielle's happy.
204
00:12:14,792 --> 00:12:16,396
Place is loaded with baby sitters.
205
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:17,481
Could work.
206
00:12:32,347 --> 00:12:34,441
What are you doing,
sneaking around here?
207
00:12:34,649 --> 00:12:35,914
I thought that if I could
sneak up on you,
208
00:12:35,939 --> 00:12:37,906
I could prove to you that
I could be your new sidekick.
209
00:12:38,823 --> 00:12:41,052
I know I can do it.
I mean, I can fight!
210
00:12:43,403 --> 00:12:44,288
I can jump!
211
00:12:48,013 --> 00:12:49,918
And I can do 30 of these things.
212
00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:58,672
But can you clean?
213
00:13:00,931 --> 00:13:02,035
Come on, pervert!
214
00:13:02,361 --> 00:13:04,580
Ok. I'm coming. I'm coming. Ok.
215
00:13:04,801 --> 00:13:06,270
Hold on.
I don't think I can fit...
216
00:13:23,898 --> 00:13:25,461
- Queen Gabrielle!
- Not tonight.
217
00:13:31,281 --> 00:13:33,719
For spying on naked Amazons...
218
00:13:34,009 --> 00:13:36,588
I sentence you
to one day in that block.
219
00:13:40,156 --> 00:13:41,932
Counting time already served...
220
00:13:42,631 --> 00:13:44,319
you may be released after lunch.
221
00:13:47,089 --> 00:13:50,366
You said, yourself, that it was
important that we respect tradition.
222
00:13:50,569 --> 00:13:51,892
Tradition is important.
223
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,230
You are ignoring what
the ancient Amazon code says
224
00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:57,416
about traditional punishment for
spying on Amazons while they bathe.
225
00:13:59,424 --> 00:14:01,502
I wouldn't want to ignore the code.
226
00:14:02,226 --> 00:14:03,914
What is the prescribed punishment?
227
00:14:05,193 --> 00:14:08,915
"If a male should look on an Amazon's
natural grace without her permission,
228
00:14:09,707 --> 00:14:10,907
he shall lose an eye."
229
00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:13,400
Wait a minute.
I'm attached to my eyes.
230
00:14:14,036 --> 00:14:14,864
Both of 'em.
231
00:14:17,727 --> 00:14:20,152
Yep... Whittlin' is fun.
232
00:14:36,035 --> 00:14:36,999
It'll be perfect.
233
00:14:38,097 --> 00:14:41,262
A few hides of fresh kill
hangin' by the door...
234
00:14:41,486 --> 00:14:43,632
A big mushroom garden...
235
00:14:43,823 --> 00:14:45,458
A practice dummy out back...
236
00:14:45,732 --> 00:14:48,092
A weapons rack by the fire...
237
00:14:48,518 --> 00:14:51,450
Cooking spit big enough
to roast a whole side of beef...
238
00:14:51,675 --> 00:14:53,336
What more could any Amazon want?
239
00:14:59,931 --> 00:15:01,322
If I was an Amazon.
240
00:15:04,138 --> 00:15:07,369
She's a little overzealous, Eve, but...
at least the place will be clean.
241
00:15:15,437 --> 00:15:16,114
Xena...
242
00:15:16,389 --> 00:15:17,957
Joxer's going to be blinded.
243
00:15:18,353 --> 00:15:19,620
Nah, that's just a myth.
244
00:15:19,623 --> 00:15:21,355
Guys don't really go blind
from doing that.
245
00:15:22,482 --> 00:15:23,675
No under the law.
246
00:15:25,002 --> 00:15:27,877
The punishment for seeing
an Amazon naked is losing an eye.
247
00:15:29,765 --> 00:15:31,400
As queen, I have to enforce that.
248
00:15:32,145 --> 00:15:32,926
I see.
249
00:15:34,103 --> 00:15:35,327
That's a terrible problem.
250
00:15:39,789 --> 00:15:41,055
You cleaned this place.
251
00:15:42,022 --> 00:15:43,298
Xena, that's great.
252
00:15:44,092 --> 00:15:45,780
You're really trying to make
it work, aren't you?
253
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:48,948
I can too.
254
00:15:49,422 --> 00:15:50,167
Well...
255
00:15:50,322 --> 00:15:52,697
Look, Joxer's had enough.
Just let him off the hook, ok?
256
00:15:52,854 --> 00:15:53,745
I'm onto it.
257
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:10,827
Itch.
258
00:16:12,332 --> 00:16:12,926
Hey!
259
00:16:13,632 --> 00:16:15,257
Which one of you, brats, threw that?
260
00:16:15,339 --> 00:16:17,870
Pervert! Loser! Fat creep!
261
00:16:17,895 --> 00:16:21,632
Why, you little...! Hey! If I ever get
out of these stocks, you're dead!
262
00:16:21,729 --> 00:16:22,969
You hear me?!
Dead!
263
00:16:23,448 --> 00:16:24,438
Why'd you do it?
264
00:16:25,545 --> 00:16:27,363
Why'd you spy on us
while we were bathing?
265
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:30,594
Well...
266
00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:33,648
What, are you kidding?
How could I not look?
267
00:16:33,987 --> 00:16:34,852
I noticed.
268
00:16:35,148 --> 00:16:36,934
You're the first man
I've ever been near,
269
00:16:36,959 --> 00:16:38,153
who wasn't trying to kill me,
270
00:16:39,028 --> 00:16:40,867
and the first to see me undressed.
271
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:45,442
Oh, listen.
I'm really sorry about that.
272
00:16:45,467 --> 00:16:46,608
I know I shouldn't 'a done it.
273
00:16:47,077 --> 00:16:47,900
And did you?
274
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:49,399
I mean...
275
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,325
Was I pleasing?
276
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,032
You're very healthy, you know...
277
00:16:54,955 --> 00:16:55,637
For a girl.
278
00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:57,523
You know?
279
00:16:58,478 --> 00:16:59,988
Would you wanna make a baby with me?
280
00:17:01,039 --> 00:17:02,831
- What?!
- Will you help?
281
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:05,920
Wait a minute!
You want me to...
282
00:17:06,097 --> 00:17:08,735
- to... make a...
- Right. Will you?
283
00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:11,055
Of course not!
284
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:15,116
Hey, listen! We're not just machines...
you know... you can use to...
285
00:17:16,951 --> 00:17:19,941
Besides, you know...
We can't just do it on command.
286
00:17:20,226 --> 00:17:21,552
We need stuff like...
287
00:17:21,577 --> 00:17:24,997
cheap motel rooms and dirty pictures
and lingerie... Stuff like that.
288
00:17:25,219 --> 00:17:26,474
We're not animals!
289
00:17:32,992 --> 00:17:34,424
But I can get those things!
290
00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:58,743
Gabrielle's ready
for the queen's robes.
291
00:17:58,768 --> 00:18:00,976
- Not in my opinion.
- Cyane, look.
292
00:18:01,198 --> 00:18:02,547
I know you're disappointed.
293
00:18:02,783 --> 00:18:04,817
If Gabrielle and Xena
hadn't come along...
294
00:18:05,016 --> 00:18:06,667
these robes would probably be yours.
295
00:18:06,692 --> 00:18:07,767
And they should be.
296
00:18:07,927 --> 00:18:10,052
I'm the one who took the name
of our ancient queen...
297
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,525
and I'm ready to follow
in her footsteps.
298
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,310
And there's not a braver, more
devoted sister in the whole tribe.
299
00:18:15,704 --> 00:18:19,712
That's why I know... you're gonna do
the right thing, and support Gabrielle.
300
00:18:33,214 --> 00:18:36,448
All right, Eve. I want you
to be a good girl, all right?
301
00:18:36,745 --> 00:18:37,987
I won't be very long.
302
00:18:44,185 --> 00:18:44,974
Yeah.
303
00:18:46,545 --> 00:18:49,834
- Xena! Where are you going?
- Hunting alone.
304
00:18:50,381 --> 00:18:51,936
Well, then it's lucky we caught you.
305
00:18:54,452 --> 00:18:55,390
Why?
306
00:18:55,415 --> 00:18:58,367
Well, we're in charge of staging
the dance for Gabrielle's coronation.
307
00:18:58,391 --> 00:19:00,250
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
308
00:19:00,398 --> 00:19:02,406
But we were kinda hopin'
that you'd be in it too.
309
00:19:02,634 --> 00:19:04,962
After all, you're her
best friend and...
310
00:19:05,087 --> 00:19:07,048
until I came along,
she was your closest,
311
00:19:07,073 --> 00:19:08,896
most loyal companion, right?
312
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:09,737
What did you say?
313
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:13,451
Don't you wanna help make this
the most special day of her life?
314
00:19:15,036 --> 00:19:15,880
Yes.
315
00:19:28,029 --> 00:19:31,083
- Hey! What was that for?
- For being a peeping tom.
316
00:19:31,108 --> 00:19:34,483
Hey, it's not my fault if a bunch
'a half-naked women are bathing...
317
00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,375
and I just happen to be
standing there watching them...
318
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,220
from the bushes
for a really long time.
319
00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:41,863
Hey!
When's this all gonna end?
320
00:19:41,864 --> 00:19:43,934
When I can figure out
how to get you out of here.
321
00:19:43,959 --> 00:19:45,522
You're the queen.
Why don't you pardon me?
322
00:19:45,547 --> 00:19:47,840
It's not that easy.
There are traditions at stake.
323
00:19:47,865 --> 00:19:49,545
"It's not that easy.
There are traditions at stake."
324
00:19:49,569 --> 00:19:53,126
Well, how 'bout the tradition of not
having your pal's eyes gouged out?
325
00:19:53,248 --> 00:19:54,662
Don't be such a baby.
326
00:19:55,646 --> 00:19:58,166
Maybe there's a loophole
in the Amazon scroll.
327
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:00,876
- Don't go anywhere.
- Don't...?
328
00:20:12,062 --> 00:20:13,273
How do you like that?
329
00:20:54,897 --> 00:20:56,077
Look, um...
330
00:20:56,784 --> 00:20:59,293
- Thanks, but I've had enough.
- You can't quit now.
331
00:20:59,386 --> 00:21:00,128
Sorry.
332
00:21:00,153 --> 00:21:03,231
Hey... Xena's a lot older than us.
She's probably tired.
333
00:21:03,587 --> 00:21:05,610
Come on, guys.
Let's go practice at my place.
334
00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:09,815
Hey...
335
00:21:10,401 --> 00:21:11,448
You make that yourself?
336
00:21:12,389 --> 00:21:14,318
Xena, I can make a difference
with this tribe.
337
00:21:14,343 --> 00:21:16,030
You do understand that, don't you?
338
00:21:16,974 --> 00:21:17,833
I do.
339
00:21:19,071 --> 00:21:19,899
You don't.
340
00:21:20,361 --> 00:21:21,595
No, I don't.
341
00:21:23,269 --> 00:21:24,998
Look, it's not that
I haven't tried, Gabrielle.
342
00:21:25,023 --> 00:21:27,969
Tried? Xena, I can dance
better than that.
343
00:21:27,994 --> 00:21:29,603
This is just not me, all right?
344
00:21:29,944 --> 00:21:34,906
This whole place, the shared meals,
communal bathing, group laundry day...
345
00:21:35,187 --> 00:21:36,944
All this togetherness
is making me sick.
346
00:21:36,969 --> 00:21:38,188
I can hardly breathe.
347
00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:40,347
You never intended to stay, did you?
348
00:21:43,161 --> 00:21:45,817
You know, I think that maybe me
and Eve should go away for a while...
349
00:21:46,561 --> 00:21:49,376
up north, where the salmon
are running, some good weather...
350
00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:51,662
do some fishing.
351
00:21:54,990 --> 00:21:56,420
That's probably a good idea.
352
00:21:58,834 --> 00:21:59,709
It is.
353
00:22:01,557 --> 00:22:03,041
You really think so, don't you?
354
00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:07,796
Yeah, I do.
355
00:22:10,736 --> 00:22:12,448
So I'll head back and
get some things together.
356
00:22:13,136 --> 00:22:15,308
Then after the coronation,
Eve and I are outta here.
357
00:22:27,921 --> 00:22:30,201
Amazon law...
If I can find it.
358
00:22:34,593 --> 00:22:37,206
- Look! There's Xena!
- Hey, Xena, wait up!
359
00:22:37,574 --> 00:22:39,535
Could you teach us
that yelling thing you do?
360
00:22:39,732 --> 00:22:41,623
And how does that
chakram thing work?
361
00:22:54,483 --> 00:22:55,271
Joxer...
362
00:22:57,823 --> 00:22:59,398
- I think I have something.
- What?
363
00:22:59,556 --> 00:23:00,376
Ok...
364
00:23:00,574 --> 00:23:03,902
It says in the Amazon scrolls
that if an accused man
365
00:23:03,927 --> 00:23:05,638
pledges allegiance to the queen...
366
00:23:06,082 --> 00:23:08,016
he may be pardoned
for a first offense.
367
00:23:08,041 --> 00:23:10,736
Ok, great, well...
Whatever you do, do it quick.
368
00:23:11,061 --> 00:23:12,983
Dinner tonight is spaghetti
and eyeballs...
369
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,349
- Mine.
- You're always over-reacting.
370
00:23:15,514 --> 00:23:17,995
Hey, are you aware that girl, Rhea,
wants to have my baby?
371
00:23:18,020 --> 00:23:19,223
And you're delusional.
372
00:23:20,580 --> 00:23:21,608
Joxer, listen.
373
00:23:21,633 --> 00:23:23,219
Next time you see me,
you have to pledge
374
00:23:23,244 --> 00:23:26,032
your undying,
eternal allegiance to me.
375
00:23:26,276 --> 00:23:28,792
Hey, pledge this... deer.
376
00:23:28,817 --> 00:23:31,856
Queen Gabrielle, it's time
for the full moon ceremony.
377
00:23:32,005 --> 00:23:34,482
- Hooray. For ceremonies. Great.
- Lets go.
378
00:23:39,082 --> 00:23:41,481
No animals are going to be harmed
in this ritual, are they?
379
00:23:41,482 --> 00:23:43,662
I mean, I'm not drinking
blood or anything?
380
00:23:44,092 --> 00:23:45,155
Nothing like that.
381
00:23:45,940 --> 00:23:46,800
Good.
382
00:23:47,434 --> 00:23:49,122
Now, we take off your clothes.
383
00:23:49,637 --> 00:23:50,629
Excuse me?
384
00:23:50,832 --> 00:23:53,652
We can't cover the rest of your body
while you're still wearing clothes.
385
00:23:53,896 --> 00:23:55,966
I don't think I'm familiar
with this ritual.
386
00:23:56,274 --> 00:23:58,985
As queen, you must pay
tribute to the full moon.
387
00:23:59,462 --> 00:24:00,485
In mud?
388
00:24:00,758 --> 00:24:02,138
You must show the glory of your form
389
00:24:02,163 --> 00:24:04,209
to Sister Moon so that
she will smile on you.
390
00:24:04,302 --> 00:24:05,897
It will bring us great good fortune.
391
00:24:06,244 --> 00:24:08,142
It's an important Amazon tradition.
392
00:24:10,162 --> 00:24:11,060
Right.
393
00:24:11,458 --> 00:24:13,200
Well, then, for tradition's sake.
394
00:24:14,471 --> 00:24:15,518
What's next?
395
00:24:15,909 --> 00:24:17,722
Sister Wolf must talk to the moon.
396
00:24:28,211 --> 00:24:29,227
What was that?
397
00:24:29,980 --> 00:24:30,808
Hello!
398
00:24:31,511 --> 00:24:32,551
I'm sorry!
399
00:24:35,656 --> 00:24:38,890
How long does Sister Wolf
howl at Sister Moon?
400
00:24:38,915 --> 00:24:41,321
Till Sister Sun chases
Sister Moon away.
401
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,623
- What?
- The tradition!
402
00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:45,441
All right. All right.
403
00:25:08,523 --> 00:25:09,859
Hate it when that happens.
404
00:25:12,483 --> 00:25:14,494
I have to... work out a few kinks...
405
00:25:14,495 --> 00:25:16,694
but you gotta admit,
those were pretty cool flips.
406
00:25:16,695 --> 00:25:17,851
Yeah, they were pretty cool.
407
00:25:18,483 --> 00:25:19,727
What about the war cry?
408
00:25:20,627 --> 00:25:23,033
It kind of sounded
like a yak in labor.
409
00:25:24,055 --> 00:25:25,328
Well, I can work on it.
410
00:25:27,664 --> 00:25:30,469
Xena... Now that you and
Gabrielle are broken up...
411
00:25:30,494 --> 00:25:32,861
you definitely need
a new travelling partner.
412
00:25:33,114 --> 00:25:34,091
No, no, hang on.
413
00:25:34,116 --> 00:25:36,404
See, Gabrielle and I have only
separated for a couple of weeks,
414
00:25:36,429 --> 00:25:37,906
just so we can work things out.
415
00:25:38,358 --> 00:25:40,491
So... I'm gonna get
a few things together.
416
00:25:40,516 --> 00:25:42,194
- Can you look after Eve?
- Oh, yeah.
417
00:25:42,219 --> 00:25:43,261
- There you go.
- Sure.
418
00:25:43,874 --> 00:25:44,781
Won't be long.
419
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,040
Hi.
420
00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:02,163
- Now.
- Oh, Queen Gabrielle!
421
00:26:02,327 --> 00:26:03,100
Yes?
422
00:26:03,864 --> 00:26:07,231
Hearken unto me!
I have done wrong!
423
00:26:07,434 --> 00:26:10,151
I pledge my eternal allegiance to you!
424
00:26:11,534 --> 00:26:13,815
Then I guess you
won't mind if I do this.
425
00:26:14,173 --> 00:26:15,970
Or this? Or this?
426
00:26:18,609 --> 00:26:19,445
No!
427
00:26:19,859 --> 00:26:21,255
Thank you, my queen.
428
00:26:21,479 --> 00:26:23,057
I'll take it into consideration.
429
00:26:26,157 --> 00:26:28,345
Hello. Oh, hello.
430
00:26:31,495 --> 00:26:34,491
Hi there. Remember me?
Joxer's the name.
431
00:26:34,516 --> 00:26:38,174
J-O-X-E-R.
The "X" is for "extra super sexy".
432
00:26:38,704 --> 00:26:41,616
O-o-ok, ok, please.
Don't cut 'em. I need 'em both.
433
00:26:44,101 --> 00:26:45,023
Oh, boy!
434
00:26:49,991 --> 00:26:52,569
I took the liberty of packing
some of my stuff for the trip.
435
00:26:52,984 --> 00:26:53,804
The trip?
436
00:26:54,185 --> 00:26:56,841
If you only want me for a couple
of weeks I can live with that.
437
00:26:56,866 --> 00:27:00,179
It'll be a great experience...
and who knows what'll develop.
438
00:27:02,014 --> 00:27:02,873
Eris...
439
00:27:03,608 --> 00:27:05,364
I'm not looking for a sidekick...
440
00:27:05,389 --> 00:27:07,014
temporary or otherwise.
441
00:27:09,408 --> 00:27:10,362
I'm sorry.
442
00:27:17,878 --> 00:27:18,792
Come on, Evie.
443
00:27:20,711 --> 00:27:22,188
I took out some of those
scrolls over there
444
00:27:22,213 --> 00:27:23,899
to make room for some of my stuff.
445
00:27:24,992 --> 00:27:27,016
I didn't know what you wanted
to do with them. I think...
446
00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:28,547
they belong to Gabrielle.
447
00:27:28,869 --> 00:27:30,362
Ok. Thanks. I'll get 'em.
448
00:27:45,665 --> 00:27:46,798
You wanna hear a story?
449
00:27:48,155 --> 00:27:49,234
Let's have a look.
450
00:27:52,441 --> 00:27:53,371
Hey...
451
00:27:54,311 --> 00:27:57,777
"Return of Callisto".
This'll be a good one.
452
00:27:59,017 --> 00:28:01,939
"I sing of the wrath of Callisto...
453
00:28:02,429 --> 00:28:05,554
the pain of Gabrielle,
and the courage of Xena...
454
00:28:06,831 --> 00:28:10,120
and the inevitable mystery of
a frienship as immortal as the gods."
455
00:28:20,391 --> 00:28:22,094
So... How do we start?
456
00:28:24,603 --> 00:28:26,151
What?
You don't find me attractive?
457
00:28:26,176 --> 00:28:29,498
No. You're...
You know, you're... very attractive.
458
00:28:29,523 --> 00:28:31,092
I just don't think
this is gonna work.
459
00:28:32,274 --> 00:28:32,977
Look...
460
00:28:33,220 --> 00:28:35,235
You're a pagan.
I'm a zoro-astrian.
461
00:28:35,376 --> 00:28:38,751
- How will we raise our kids?
- Just ell me what to do and we'll see.
462
00:28:38,776 --> 00:28:40,112
So... How do we start?
463
00:28:42,308 --> 00:28:45,308
Well, first would be a kiss.
464
00:28:46,021 --> 00:28:47,044
On the lips?
465
00:28:47,777 --> 00:28:48,894
Good place to start.
466
00:28:50,886 --> 00:28:51,839
How was that?
467
00:28:52,954 --> 00:28:54,345
Pathetic, actually.
468
00:28:54,952 --> 00:28:56,421
But just remember these words.
469
00:28:56,963 --> 00:28:59,674
Practice, practice, practice.
470
00:29:05,696 --> 00:29:06,868
So, what do you think?
471
00:29:07,458 --> 00:29:08,153
Better.
472
00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:09,770
Better.
473
00:29:12,348 --> 00:29:14,793
It's time to punish the blasphemer.
474
00:29:15,324 --> 00:29:17,988
Before we do that,
there's something I wanna point out.
475
00:29:19,176 --> 00:29:20,902
He pledged his allegiance to me.
476
00:29:20,927 --> 00:29:21,884
It says here...
477
00:29:21,909 --> 00:29:23,979
- You're gonna pardon him...
- Yes.
478
00:29:24,576 --> 00:29:27,326
The code says I can
forgive a first offense.
479
00:29:27,664 --> 00:29:28,953
I choose to do that.
480
00:29:30,488 --> 00:29:31,496
Very well.
481
00:29:31,925 --> 00:29:32,906
I'll release him.
482
00:29:36,103 --> 00:29:37,081
Oh, look, look...
483
00:29:37,557 --> 00:29:38,605
This is not right.
484
00:29:38,630 --> 00:29:41,669
- It's not working?
- No, it's definitely working.
485
00:29:42,471 --> 00:29:46,183
Look, you're a young kid
trying to find answers too fast.
486
00:29:46,931 --> 00:29:50,165
You need to find somebody your own age.
I can't take advantage of you this way.
487
00:29:50,190 --> 00:29:51,720
Oh, how sweet.
488
00:29:54,131 --> 00:29:55,150
No. No.
489
00:29:58,966 --> 00:29:59,662
Look...
490
00:29:59,959 --> 00:30:01,492
We've got to stop this.
491
00:30:03,915 --> 00:30:04,931
By tomorrow.
492
00:30:23,525 --> 00:30:25,330
Rhea!
What are you doing?
493
00:30:25,438 --> 00:30:27,565
It's called kissing. Wanna try it?
494
00:30:27,590 --> 00:30:29,543
Stop it!
Both of you, come with me!
495
00:30:29,804 --> 00:30:30,768
Oh, ok...
496
00:30:33,769 --> 00:30:35,966
Ok, right in the... Oh, here I come.
497
00:30:36,261 --> 00:30:39,504
Just give me a sec...
Almost have it... there.
498
00:30:39,529 --> 00:30:42,342
Ok, honey. One second.
Oh, ok, ok.
499
00:30:44,340 --> 00:30:45,554
Ok, ok.
500
00:30:45,985 --> 00:30:48,555
I'm ok... Just a little more...
Hello.
501
00:31:08,195 --> 00:31:10,656
Is this another ceremony
I don't know about?
502
00:31:18,351 --> 00:31:21,546
This time he has broken
the most sacred law of the Amazons.
503
00:31:21,732 --> 00:31:23,716
He was kissing Rhea out of season.
504
00:31:24,157 --> 00:31:25,790
And who knows what else.
505
00:31:27,429 --> 00:31:30,402
- Is this true, Rhea?
- Yes, but it was all my fault!
506
00:31:30,427 --> 00:31:31,966
And for that you'll be banished.
507
00:31:33,161 --> 00:31:34,723
But we can't show mercy to him.
508
00:31:35,013 --> 00:31:37,622
It's not his first crime,
so you aren't allowed to pardon him.
509
00:31:38,126 --> 00:31:39,548
Our traditions are clear.
510
00:31:39,736 --> 00:31:42,502
His crime requires him
to accept the royal challenge.
511
00:31:42,721 --> 00:31:44,776
The royal challenge?
What's that?
512
00:31:45,056 --> 00:31:47,673
A fight to the death with
the queen of the Amazons.
513
00:31:48,029 --> 00:31:49,217
Oh, is that all?
514
00:32:00,291 --> 00:32:02,432
Think, Gabrielle. Think.
515
00:32:04,184 --> 00:32:06,036
There's gotta be a way out of this.
516
00:32:07,801 --> 00:32:09,824
What made me think
I could be a good queen?
517
00:32:10,207 --> 00:32:11,160
Your heart.
518
00:32:15,122 --> 00:32:16,060
Did you pack?
519
00:32:17,591 --> 00:32:19,021
Yeah, I'm almost done.
520
00:32:22,988 --> 00:32:25,824
Listen, Eris found some of
your scrolls in my saddle bag.
521
00:32:26,026 --> 00:32:27,799
I must have left them
there at the last camp.
522
00:32:28,512 --> 00:32:30,004
You can leave them in the hut, Xena.
523
00:32:31,766 --> 00:32:33,133
That's just it.
I can't.
524
00:32:34,470 --> 00:32:35,376
I read 'em.
525
00:32:37,484 --> 00:32:38,679
You read my scrolls?
526
00:32:38,984 --> 00:32:40,273
I always said I would.
527
00:32:41,328 --> 00:32:42,525
I didn't think that...
528
00:32:43,564 --> 00:32:44,298
Well?
529
00:32:44,912 --> 00:32:47,435
I think that anyone
who writes like you can...
530
00:32:48,269 --> 00:32:51,097
who can find grace and meaning
in everything that happens...
531
00:32:51,781 --> 00:32:53,719
she's sure to make a wonderful queen.
532
00:32:57,293 --> 00:32:58,950
And that's worth
sticking around to see.
533
00:33:03,525 --> 00:33:06,556
So, what's this I hear about a royal
challenge between you and Joxer?
534
00:33:06,771 --> 00:33:08,482
Joxer was caught kissing Rhea.
535
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,570
I have to fight him to the death.
536
00:33:10,738 --> 00:33:13,019
It's Amazon law, Xena.
There's no other way.
537
00:33:13,489 --> 00:33:15,122
They're certain to want a good show.
538
00:33:15,945 --> 00:33:17,812
- They're not kidding.
- Don't worry.
539
00:33:18,183 --> 00:33:19,433
You won't have to kill him.
540
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:20,876
Why not?
541
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,456
'Cause I will.
542
00:33:24,056 --> 00:33:26,228
Xena's got som'ing cooking.
I know it.
543
00:33:26,597 --> 00:33:28,972
Look, she's not gonna let me
get killed over a kiss
544
00:33:28,997 --> 00:33:31,198
and she's not gonna let you
be banished, either.
545
00:33:31,391 --> 00:33:32,758
I'm sorry, Joxer.
546
00:33:32,956 --> 00:33:36,351
None of this would have happened
if I hadn't wanted a baby so much.
547
00:33:36,352 --> 00:33:37,665
What's the big rush?
548
00:33:37,690 --> 00:33:40,315
I've never felt as strong
as I do when I hold Eve.
549
00:33:41,243 --> 00:33:43,407
It's like...
I could take on anyone...
550
00:33:43,696 --> 00:33:44,943
do anything...
551
00:33:45,100 --> 00:33:47,367
for someone so helpless and sweet.
552
00:33:47,870 --> 00:33:50,581
But having my own baby
seemed impossible...
553
00:33:51,143 --> 00:33:52,476
till you came along.
554
00:33:53,785 --> 00:33:54,662
I get it.
555
00:33:55,007 --> 00:33:58,257
I was a sexual object,
used and then tossed away.
556
00:33:58,389 --> 00:34:01,484
A baloney pony.
A disposable stud.
557
00:34:02,939 --> 00:34:03,720
All right!
558
00:34:04,700 --> 00:34:06,177
Look... You're young.
559
00:34:06,477 --> 00:34:08,062
You have plenty of time
to have children,
560
00:34:08,289 --> 00:34:10,219
and you'll feel just as strong.
561
00:34:11,169 --> 00:34:12,216
Thanks, Joxer...
562
00:34:13,310 --> 00:34:15,243
but I doubt if I'll ever find out.
563
00:34:15,268 --> 00:34:16,721
Time to die, pervert!
564
00:34:20,614 --> 00:34:22,294
Remember our heritage, sisters.
565
00:34:22,844 --> 00:34:24,477
Our custom are
steeped in traditions
566
00:34:24,502 --> 00:34:27,306
passed down from as far back
as the great Cyane herself.
567
00:34:28,028 --> 00:34:29,223
To dishonor them...
568
00:34:29,661 --> 00:34:30,971
is to shame us all.
569
00:34:32,151 --> 00:34:33,221
Cyane is right.
570
00:34:33,881 --> 00:34:35,936
Sometimes, the old ways are best.
571
00:34:36,506 --> 00:34:40,504
In keeping with tradition,
I'm invoking the age-old provision.
572
00:34:40,790 --> 00:34:43,931
Allowing the queen's champion
to fight in her place.
573
00:34:44,934 --> 00:34:47,761
But that rule only applies
if the queen's ill or injured.
574
00:34:47,786 --> 00:34:49,567
It's at the queen's discretion.
575
00:34:51,110 --> 00:34:52,079
Therefore...
576
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:56,383
I bestow my right to fight
upon my appointed champion...
577
00:34:57,109 --> 00:34:58,109
Xena!
578
00:35:03,116 --> 00:35:05,224
See?
Told you she'd have a plan.
579
00:35:05,249 --> 00:35:06,796
Yeah, she plans to kill you.
580
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,755
Before we begin,
I'd like a rundown on the rules.
581
00:35:13,069 --> 00:35:15,296
In a fight to the death
there's only one rule.
582
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,243
Someone must die.
583
00:35:17,704 --> 00:35:18,868
Sounds simple enough.
584
00:35:19,246 --> 00:35:21,248
Is everybody ready?
585
00:35:21,854 --> 00:35:23,979
Let the fight begin!
586
00:35:36,717 --> 00:35:40,377
I am Xena!
The ultimate woman!
587
00:35:41,132 --> 00:35:45,175
Versus Joxer,
the ultimate meatball!
588
00:35:45,454 --> 00:35:48,712
And I will crush his head
like a peanut...
589
00:35:48,737 --> 00:35:52,078
between the thighs of doom!
590
00:36:02,599 --> 00:36:06,978
Yeah.
Many call her Xena, the champ!
591
00:36:07,128 --> 00:36:08,048
That's right!
592
00:36:08,073 --> 00:36:10,995
But I call her Xena, the chump!
593
00:36:12,133 --> 00:36:13,639
Come on, girl!
594
00:36:13,664 --> 00:36:17,281
In round one, I will mash her
between the jaws of death!
595
00:36:18,063 --> 00:36:22,110
In round two, I will crush her
in the ultimate hold!
596
00:36:22,723 --> 00:36:25,371
- In round three...
- Kill the loser!
597
00:36:25,396 --> 00:36:27,460
There is no round three!
598
00:36:53,467 --> 00:36:54,295
No!
599
00:36:54,979 --> 00:36:56,065
No, you don't!
600
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:57,435
And now...
601
00:36:57,570 --> 00:37:00,008
I will penetrate his brain...
602
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,957
with the great wet willy!
603
00:37:02,982 --> 00:37:05,152
No! Not the wet willy! No!
604
00:37:55,855 --> 00:37:57,056
Doggone it!
605
00:37:59,805 --> 00:38:01,579
Oh... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
606
00:38:10,630 --> 00:38:12,982
- Death to the pervert!
- Not the pinch!
607
00:38:18,268 --> 00:38:20,049
What constitutes death?
608
00:38:20,416 --> 00:38:24,005
For instance, I just shut off
the flow of blood to his brain!
609
00:38:29,790 --> 00:38:30,986
He's still moving.
610
00:38:34,230 --> 00:38:35,246
Quite right.
611
00:38:35,581 --> 00:38:36,970
We'll fix that.
612
00:38:40,565 --> 00:38:41,268
How's that?
613
00:38:47,592 --> 00:38:49,100
I can still see him breathing.
614
00:38:59,529 --> 00:39:00,638
His heart's still beating.
615
00:39:08,915 --> 00:39:11,267
His heart's stopped.
The man's dead.
616
00:39:11,659 --> 00:39:12,987
Our laws have been upheld.
617
00:39:13,575 --> 00:39:15,229
The pervert is dead!
618
00:39:20,454 --> 00:39:21,751
Now step back, sweetie.
619
00:39:29,619 --> 00:39:31,119
You tricked us!
620
00:39:31,377 --> 00:39:33,105
You pronounced him dead yourself.
621
00:39:33,246 --> 00:39:34,947
Nothing says he has to stay dead.
622
00:39:34,972 --> 00:39:36,722
- But our laws say...
- Should be changed...
623
00:39:36,949 --> 00:39:38,972
when they make someone
die for a kiss.
624
00:39:41,402 --> 00:39:42,777
Or get banished.
625
00:39:43,999 --> 00:39:47,007
Or get an eye gouged out
for getting an eyeful of us.
626
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,654
All I wanted was to keep us strong...
627
00:39:54,161 --> 00:39:55,536
keep our heritage alive.
628
00:39:56,829 --> 00:39:58,213
I thought that's what we needed,
629
00:39:58,890 --> 00:40:00,034
what you wanted.
630
00:40:03,753 --> 00:40:05,730
My apologies to you and the tribe.
631
00:40:06,394 --> 00:40:08,623
And I humbly ask for
your permission to leave it.
632
00:40:13,207 --> 00:40:14,410
Permission denied.
633
00:40:17,213 --> 00:40:18,902
You love this tribe, Cyane.
634
00:40:19,527 --> 00:40:20,556
They need you.
635
00:40:21,794 --> 00:40:23,560
Especially since I'll be leaving...
636
00:40:24,732 --> 00:40:25,712
with Xena.
637
00:40:34,006 --> 00:40:36,483
Guess you won't be needing
a new sidekick after all.
638
00:40:36,734 --> 00:40:37,914
I'm afraid not.
639
00:40:40,814 --> 00:40:42,611
Every time you turn his brain off.
640
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:50,985
Who dat?
641
00:40:51,396 --> 00:40:52,443
Who dat down dere?
642
00:40:54,429 --> 00:40:57,367
I bet they make Cyane
queen at the next full moon.
643
00:40:58,441 --> 00:40:59,550
You all right with that?
644
00:41:00,824 --> 00:41:02,105
Do you mean, will I miss...
645
00:41:02,130 --> 00:41:04,423
being caked in mud,
howling at the moon?
646
00:41:04,448 --> 00:41:06,050
- Well, will you?
- No.
647
00:41:09,253 --> 00:41:11,121
I think she'll do...
she'll do pretty well,
648
00:41:11,519 --> 00:41:12,902
now that she's loosened up a bit.
649
00:41:13,376 --> 00:41:14,931
Yeah, but she won't be
as good as you.
650
00:41:15,169 --> 00:41:17,239
- She'll look better in those antlers.
- And mud.
651
00:41:19,131 --> 00:41:20,444
Where are we going next?
652
00:41:21,378 --> 00:41:22,800
Well, I had in mind...
653
00:41:23,597 --> 00:41:24,722
a cruise down the Nile.
654
00:41:25,087 --> 00:41:25,843
Really?
655
00:41:26,509 --> 00:41:28,133
Camel racing in Alexandria?
656
00:41:28,303 --> 00:41:30,022
I know someone we can stay with.
47741
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