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1
00:00:08,966 --> 00:00:12,200
? I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ?
2
00:00:12,233 --> 00:00:13,933
? Friendly faces everywhere ?
3
00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:15,598
? Humble folks without temptation ?
4
00:00:15,623 --> 00:00:18,775
? Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ?
5
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,433
? Ample parking day or night ?
6
00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:22,392
? People spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ?
7
00:00:22,417 --> 00:00:25,417
? Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ?
8
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,842
? Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ?
9
00:00:28,867 --> 00:00:32,161
? Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ?
10
00:00:35,926 --> 00:00:38,145
? It's the holiday season ?
11
00:00:38,723 --> 00:00:42,464
? With the whoop-de-do
and hickory dock ?
12
00:00:42,489 --> 00:00:45,266
? And don't forget to
hang up your sock ?
13
00:00:45,291 --> 00:00:47,891
? 'Cause just exactly at 12:00 ?
14
00:00:47,916 --> 00:00:51,184
? He'll be coming down
the chimney, down ?
15
00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:53,374
? Coming down the chimney, down! ?
16
00:00:53,399 --> 00:00:55,866
? Mkaaay ?
17
00:00:55,891 --> 00:00:58,724
Alright, everyone,
are we enjoying the festivities?!
18
00:00:58,749 --> 00:01:01,015
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
19
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,003
Well, it's time for
a very special guest now.
20
00:01:04,028 --> 00:01:06,605
Here he is... Santa!
21
00:01:06,630 --> 00:01:08,308
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
22
00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:09,608
TOGETHER: Santa!
23
00:01:09,633 --> 00:01:12,206
Merry Christmas, everyone.
24
00:01:12,231 --> 00:01:15,558
This is the season for joy and giving.
25
00:01:15,583 --> 00:01:19,136
But let's also not forget that,
unfortunately,
26
00:01:19,161 --> 00:01:23,026
it's the season for accidents
caused by drunk driving.
27
00:01:23,051 --> 00:01:24,698
[CHEERING STOPS]
28
00:01:24,723 --> 00:01:28,573
Did you know that the holidays
are when the most DUIs
29
00:01:28,598 --> 00:01:31,707
and drinking-related accidents occur?
30
00:01:31,732 --> 00:01:34,598
This is like that little Greta girl
with the global warning.
31
00:01:34,623 --> 00:01:36,107
Buzz-kill!
32
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:38,805
- [CROWD BOOING]
- Please, be sure to celebrate
33
00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:40,489
the season responsibly.
34
00:01:40,514 --> 00:01:43,114
- Because last holiday season...
- [BOOING GROWS LOUDER]
35
00:01:43,139 --> 00:01:46,973
The... The most drunk-driving
accidents than ever be...
36
00:01:46,998 --> 00:01:49,536
We're trying to have fun here, Santa!
37
00:01:49,561 --> 00:01:52,051
- Okay, okay. Come on.
- [BOOING CONTINUES]
38
00:01:52,076 --> 00:01:53,630
All Santa is saying
39
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,333
is that drinking and driving
during the holidays...
40
00:01:56,358 --> 00:01:57,991
Okay, thank you, Santa.
41
00:01:58,016 --> 00:02:00,549
That was wonderful and informative.
42
00:02:00,574 --> 00:02:02,141
Thank you for coming, everyone.
43
00:02:02,166 --> 00:02:03,666
We hope you and your loved ones
44
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:07,307
enjoy all your favorite
holiday traditions!
45
00:02:07,332 --> 00:02:09,661
Yeah! Let's drive!
46
00:02:09,686 --> 00:02:11,719
[CROWD CHEERING]
47
00:02:11,744 --> 00:02:14,644
["KAY THOMPSON'S JINGLE BELLS"
BY ANDY WILLIAMS PLAYING]
48
00:02:14,669 --> 00:02:17,325
? Bring out your bells,
your Christmas bells ?
49
00:02:17,357 --> 00:02:20,634
? Come on, we're going
for a sleigh ride ?
50
00:02:20,659 --> 00:02:23,595
? Christmas time is here again ?
51
00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:26,187
? Come on, we're going
for a sleigh ride ?
52
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,384
MAN: I know, Ned!
53
00:02:27,409 --> 00:02:29,642
? To spread the cheer again ?
54
00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:33,601
? From the top of the chimney
to the top of the wall ?
55
00:02:33,626 --> 00:02:36,365
? Dash away, dash away, dash away, all ?
56
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:40,889
[TIRES SCREECH]
57
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:46,061
? Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way ?
58
00:02:46,086 --> 00:02:49,440
? Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ?
59
00:02:49,465 --> 00:02:52,312
? Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way ?
60
00:02:52,337 --> 00:02:54,270
[TIRES SCREECH, BANG]
61
00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,708
Mornin', Jim. Mornin', Kate.
62
00:02:59,733 --> 00:03:00,741
Mornin', Stotch.
63
00:03:00,766 --> 00:03:02,466
We really tied one on last night, huh?
64
00:03:02,491 --> 00:03:04,122
Happy Holidays.
65
00:03:04,147 --> 00:03:06,132
What the hell's going on?
66
00:03:06,157 --> 00:03:08,090
We... We don't know!
67
00:03:08,115 --> 00:03:09,281
Hey, guys.
68
00:03:09,631 --> 00:03:11,073
The fuck is this?
69
00:03:11,098 --> 00:03:14,532
JIMBO: There's like a...
chain blocking the liquor aisle.
70
00:03:14,565 --> 00:03:16,632
Uh, maybe we can just go
around to the other side.
71
00:03:16,657 --> 00:03:17,795
Come on!
72
00:03:18,890 --> 00:03:20,442
What the hell?
73
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,139
I dunno, there's some kind of blockage
74
00:03:22,164 --> 00:03:23,640
in front of the booze section.
75
00:03:23,665 --> 00:03:25,532
But this is ridiculous.
76
00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:30,272
Manager! Manager!
77
00:03:30,719 --> 00:03:31,886
Can I help you?
78
00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:33,811
Manager, there's a chain and sign
79
00:03:33,836 --> 00:03:35,607
blocking our way into the liquor aisle.
80
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:38,006
Yes. We can't sell liquor
during the holidays.
81
00:03:38,031 --> 00:03:40,607
Somebody got a new
county ordinance passed.
82
00:03:40,632 --> 00:03:43,100
What? Who has that kind of power?
83
00:03:43,125 --> 00:03:45,907
It's Christmas, damn it!
What are we supposed to drink?!
84
00:03:45,932 --> 00:03:48,532
You gotta just drink what
you have at your house.
85
00:03:48,557 --> 00:03:49,965
[SCOFFS] We drank it all
86
00:03:49,998 --> 00:03:52,198
before driving to the
tree-lighting ceremony!
87
00:03:52,223 --> 00:03:53,656
ALL: Yeah!
88
00:03:55,339 --> 00:03:57,239
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! Hold on!
89
00:03:57,264 --> 00:03:59,773
Sorry, everyone.
I've been shut down until the new year.
90
00:03:59,798 --> 00:04:01,598
No! Not you, too!
91
00:04:01,623 --> 00:04:04,056
You must have something you can give us.
92
00:04:04,081 --> 00:04:06,415
All I've got is this little
bottle of peppermint schnapps,
93
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,139
and it's barely enough
for my drive home.
94
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:11,130
I've got family coming over
from out of town!
95
00:04:11,155 --> 00:04:13,421
You can't expect me to be sober!
96
00:04:14,392 --> 00:04:16,645
Skeeter! Thank God you're still open.
97
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:18,032
Gimme a Cabernet, huh?
98
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:19,590
And a couple bottles to take home.
99
00:04:19,819 --> 00:04:22,708
I got lemonade, soft drinks, and teas.
100
00:04:22,733 --> 00:04:25,465
That's all I can sell until January 2nd.
101
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:26,965
Son of a bitch!
102
00:04:26,998 --> 00:04:28,965
This can't be happening.
103
00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:30,412
Hey, come on, guys.
104
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,907
It's still Christmas,
and we have to make the best of it.
105
00:04:32,932 --> 00:04:35,065
How about we all drive around a little?
106
00:04:35,090 --> 00:04:37,022
Oh, what's the point, Jimbo?!
107
00:04:37,307 --> 00:04:39,207
What's the point of driving now?
108
00:04:39,232 --> 00:04:44,598
? Silent night ?
109
00:04:44,623 --> 00:04:49,756
? Holy night ?
110
00:04:49,781 --> 00:04:55,108
? All is calm ?
111
00:04:55,602 --> 00:04:57,123
Nobody's out shopping.
112
00:04:57,148 --> 00:04:58,639
The town is dead.
113
00:04:58,664 --> 00:05:01,741
Our economy depends on the holidays.
114
00:05:01,766 --> 00:05:04,725
We don't know who passed
the ordinance, Mayor, but...
115
00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:07,417
well, the people just feel let down.
116
00:05:07,442 --> 00:05:09,967
There's only one thing we can do.
117
00:05:10,231 --> 00:05:13,537
We're going to have to ask
an old friend for help.
118
00:05:13,562 --> 00:05:17,006
And hope that he somehow forgives us.
119
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,889
[TIRES SCREECH]
120
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,862
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
121
00:05:33,858 --> 00:05:36,264
Hello, Mayor, everybody.
122
00:05:36,289 --> 00:05:37,780
What are you doing here?
123
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:41,471
Mr. Marsh, South Park needs you.
124
00:05:41,648 --> 00:05:42,748
For what?
125
00:05:42,773 --> 00:05:44,522
Everyone's down in the dumps.
126
00:05:44,547 --> 00:05:48,108
Nobody's buying presents
or going to holiday events.
127
00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:51,116
People... they need some holiday spirit.
128
00:05:51,141 --> 00:05:53,241
We think that a little weed
129
00:05:53,266 --> 00:05:55,666
might put everyone in a better mood.
130
00:05:56,184 --> 00:05:58,694
Guys, my season is over.
131
00:05:58,719 --> 00:06:01,006
Tegridy Farms' season ended weeks ago.
132
00:06:01,031 --> 00:06:03,420
We understand, but couldn't you do,
133
00:06:03,445 --> 00:06:05,311
like, a limited-edition run
134
00:06:05,336 --> 00:06:07,592
just to get people through the holidays?
135
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,686
You want me to do a Christmas special?
136
00:06:12,711 --> 00:06:16,677
Yes! South Park needs Tegridy Farms.
137
00:06:16,702 --> 00:06:18,389
We all do, Randy!
138
00:06:18,414 --> 00:06:20,194
But, guys, look behind you.
139
00:06:20,219 --> 00:06:21,647
The crops are dead.
140
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:24,069
How am I supposed to
sell weed to people now?
141
00:06:24,608 --> 00:06:26,545
I'll tell you how.
142
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:28,584
Because you're Randy Marsh.
143
00:06:28,609 --> 00:06:31,409
And there's one thing you have
that nobody else does...
144
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,149
Tegridy.
145
00:06:33,397 --> 00:06:34,530
Tegridy.
146
00:06:34,555 --> 00:06:35,617
You're... You're not gonna let
147
00:06:35,641 --> 00:06:37,908
a little cold weather stand in your way.
148
00:06:37,933 --> 00:06:40,233
Tegridy Farms is about community.
149
00:06:40,258 --> 00:06:42,892
And community is what matters.
150
00:06:42,917 --> 00:06:46,017
That's Tegridy. That's tegridy weed.
151
00:06:46,944 --> 00:06:49,155
Well, you're right about that.
152
00:06:49,671 --> 00:06:52,146
Lemme call my marijuana
science specialist,
153
00:06:52,171 --> 00:06:55,237
and I'll see what I can do.
154
00:06:55,508 --> 00:06:59,208
Thank you, Marsh.
And God bless Tegridy Farms.
155
00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:04,100
Look, I'm sorry, Randy,
156
00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:06,951
but marijuana simply
doesn't grow in the cold.
157
00:07:06,976 --> 00:07:08,623
So we use the greenhouse.
158
00:07:08,648 --> 00:07:11,068
There's gotta be a way to
make a Christmas special.
159
00:07:11,093 --> 00:07:12,993
It's what everyone wants.
160
00:07:13,018 --> 00:07:14,585
Hey, wait a minute!
161
00:07:14,610 --> 00:07:17,310
How about we repackage
some of the surplus?
162
00:07:17,335 --> 00:07:20,263
We still have lots of
leftover Mexican Joker.
163
00:07:20,288 --> 00:07:22,771
That's 'cause people didn't
really like Mexican Joker.
164
00:07:22,796 --> 00:07:25,463
I'm not gonna just repackage it.
That's not special.
165
00:07:25,766 --> 00:07:27,662
Okay, so, how about we combine
166
00:07:27,687 --> 00:07:29,123
what's left of the Mexican Joker
167
00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:31,048
with some of the Season Finale?
168
00:07:31,073 --> 00:07:32,107
Agh!
169
00:07:32,132 --> 00:07:33,177
What's wrong?
170
00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:34,236
It's just...
171
00:07:34,261 --> 00:07:35,998
it needs something else.
172
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:38,823
Just mixing old product together
and naming it something new...
173
00:07:38,848 --> 00:07:41,414
That's not special,
and it's not Tegridy.
174
00:07:41,742 --> 00:07:43,888
It's just not Tegridy.
175
00:07:43,913 --> 00:07:45,413
[SIGHS]
176
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:50,880
It's gonna be your birthday soon, Jesus.
177
00:07:51,408 --> 00:07:54,138
I wanna make something
as special as you are.
178
00:07:54,296 --> 00:07:57,724
I just need the right idea.
179
00:07:58,331 --> 00:08:02,298
[WIND BLOWING]
180
00:08:09,608 --> 00:08:11,630
[WIND CONTINUES]
181
00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:21,505
I hate the holidays.
182
00:08:21,530 --> 00:08:24,224
Come on, Token,
let's wrap it up and get out of here!
183
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:29,115
Dude, our parents seem
really bummed out.
184
00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:31,007
Yeah, it's like someone came and took
185
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:33,412
all their Christmas spirits.
186
00:08:34,287 --> 00:08:35,810
This isn't good, you guys.
187
00:08:35,835 --> 00:08:38,379
You know what it means when our
parents have no Christmas spirit?
188
00:08:38,403 --> 00:08:39,708
Shitty presents.
189
00:08:39,733 --> 00:08:41,123
We're screwed, you guys.
190
00:08:41,148 --> 00:08:43,414
They just gotta get their
Christmas spirits back!
191
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,943
They just gotta!
192
00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:46,535
[ENGINE REVVING, HORN HONKING]
193
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,127
Mrph rmh rmphm?
194
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:50,318
[REVVING, HONKING CONTINUES]
195
00:08:50,343 --> 00:08:52,110
Look!
196
00:08:58,763 --> 00:09:01,230
Well, howdy there, folks.
197
00:09:01,412 --> 00:09:02,443
Randy?
198
00:09:02,468 --> 00:09:04,404
Heard you were all a little down
199
00:09:04,429 --> 00:09:05,701
and might need a boost.
200
00:09:05,726 --> 00:09:10,341
So I thought I'd bring
you some Christmas Snow.
201
00:09:10,366 --> 00:09:14,699
[EXCITED INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
202
00:09:14,724 --> 00:09:17,291
Whoa, whoa.
There's enough for everybody.
203
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:23,623
Oh, wow, this smells great!
204
00:09:23,648 --> 00:09:25,724
Hey, what's this white stuff on the top?
205
00:09:25,749 --> 00:09:28,749
Just a little something
extra for a special kick.
206
00:09:28,774 --> 00:09:30,427
Well, what are we waiting
for, everyone?!
207
00:09:30,452 --> 00:09:33,287
- Let's do some driving!
- [CROWD CHEERS]
208
00:09:33,312 --> 00:09:35,712
? Bring out your bells,
your Christmas bells ?
209
00:09:35,737 --> 00:09:39,037
? Come on, we're going
for a sleigh ride ?
210
00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:41,862
? Christmas time is here again ?
211
00:09:41,887 --> 00:09:43,904
- ? Come on, we're going for ?
- [CHEERING]
212
00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:51,483
Now back to the
"Tegridy Farms Christmas Special!"
213
00:09:53,237 --> 00:09:55,280
[BANG ON DOOR]
214
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,070
Oh, hi, Mayor.
215
00:09:58,095 --> 00:10:00,061
We need to talk, Marsh.
216
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:01,666
What's going on?
217
00:10:01,691 --> 00:10:03,913
Are people not liking the
Christmas special so far?
218
00:10:03,938 --> 00:10:06,600
Oh, people love the Christmas special.
219
00:10:06,625 --> 00:10:08,171
So... Marsh.
220
00:10:08,196 --> 00:10:11,662
What exactly is in this Christmas Snow?
221
00:10:12,393 --> 00:10:15,608
Okay, okay, look, you busted us.
222
00:10:15,633 --> 00:10:17,718
It's a mix of different
strains of marijuana
223
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,725
we had left over from last season.
224
00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:21,179
I know, it's wrong.
225
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:25,108
No, no, no, what is the
white stuff on the marijuana?
226
00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:27,225
Oh, that? That's cocaine.
227
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:28,280
What?!
228
00:10:28,305 --> 00:10:30,265
Yeah, I got the idea praying to Christ.
229
00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:31,757
You know, powder, snow.
230
00:10:31,782 --> 00:10:33,622
It's what gives the
Christmas special its kick.
231
00:10:34,223 --> 00:10:36,257
Getting enough cocaine
was the tricky part,
232
00:10:36,282 --> 00:10:38,049
so we started growing our own.
233
00:10:38,074 --> 00:10:41,397
Turns out the coca plant is even
hardier than marijuana plant.
234
00:10:41,422 --> 00:10:43,655
It can grow even when
we're out of season.
235
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:45,733
What is wrong with you?!
236
00:10:45,758 --> 00:10:48,291
We can't have you selling
this stuff in town!
237
00:10:48,316 --> 00:10:50,550
Cocaine is illegal!
238
00:10:51,037 --> 00:10:52,429
It is?
239
00:10:53,398 --> 00:10:57,365
Jesus Christ, you can't just give
people coke without them knowing!
240
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,390
We could all go to prison!
241
00:10:59,415 --> 00:11:01,366
Hey, hey, it's not a big deal.
242
00:11:01,391 --> 00:11:03,091
I've been through this before.
243
00:11:03,116 --> 00:11:04,516
Hang on, I'll handle it.
244
00:11:04,541 --> 00:11:05,725
Don't go anywhere.
245
00:11:12,290 --> 00:11:13,690
Legalize it!
246
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,315
Legalize it!
247
00:11:16,479 --> 00:11:18,093
_
248
00:11:20,082 --> 00:11:22,147
_
249
00:11:22,412 --> 00:11:24,702
_
250
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,921
Okay, cocaine's totally legal now.
251
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,421
It... It is?
252
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,266
Yeah. Legal in seven
states, including this one.
253
00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:40,593
Other states are soon to follow.
254
00:11:40,618 --> 00:11:42,985
I told you... it's 2019, dawg.
255
00:11:45,612 --> 00:11:46,702
I'm sorry, Santa.
256
00:11:46,735 --> 00:11:49,077
I just can't think of
anything I want this year.
257
00:11:49,102 --> 00:11:52,202
I guess maybe now I'm
losing my Christmas spirit.
258
00:11:52,227 --> 00:11:55,627
Well, how about a little Baby Yoda doll?
259
00:11:55,652 --> 00:11:58,019
Nah. "Mandalorian"
was great the first few episodes,
260
00:11:58,044 --> 00:11:59,453
but it's really fallen apart lately.
261
00:11:59,477 --> 00:12:00,711
[TIRES SCREECH]
262
00:12:00,736 --> 00:12:02,803
[CRASHING]
263
00:12:02,828 --> 00:12:04,428
What on Earth?
264
00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:08,430
Merry Christmas.
265
00:12:08,455 --> 00:12:12,233
What the? How are people
still drinking and driving?
266
00:12:12,258 --> 00:12:13,758
Oh, they aren't drunk, Santa.
267
00:12:13,783 --> 00:12:15,772
Everyone's just enjoying this.
268
00:12:15,797 --> 00:12:17,364
Tegridy Farms Christmas snow.
269
00:12:17,389 --> 00:12:20,147
It's organic, locally grown,
and available now.
270
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:22,291
- It's great, Santa!
- Oh, you got to try it, Santa!
271
00:12:22,316 --> 00:12:24,288
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
272
00:12:24,313 --> 00:12:27,946
Marijuana?! This isn't what Santa meant!
273
00:12:27,971 --> 00:12:29,371
I got rid of liquor,
274
00:12:29,396 --> 00:12:31,896
and now you assholes are
all just getting high?!
275
00:12:31,921 --> 00:12:34,054
God fucking damn it!
276
00:12:34,079 --> 00:12:36,256
Santa will just see about this!
277
00:12:37,779 --> 00:12:39,701
Our Christmas special is so amazing.
278
00:12:39,734 --> 00:12:41,878
I don't know how we're gonna
keep up with all the demand.
279
00:12:41,902 --> 00:12:45,084
I know. I know.
I can't print labels fast enough.
280
00:12:45,109 --> 00:12:46,162
We need to get more help.
281
00:12:46,187 --> 00:12:47,569
We're never gonna get
enough done in time.
282
00:12:47,593 --> 00:12:49,993
Hey, Shelley! Hey, Shelley!
Hey, Shelley!
283
00:12:50,018 --> 00:12:51,045
What?!
284
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,975
Hey, Shelley,
can you help us make labels
285
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,256
for the Christmas special?!
286
00:12:54,281 --> 00:12:57,947
No! I'm not helping you
with your stupid blow!
287
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,662
Oh, great. My daughter
had a marijuana problem,
288
00:13:00,687 --> 00:13:02,516
and now she has a problem with cocaine.
289
00:13:02,541 --> 00:13:03,615
[POUNDING]
290
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,416
Ah, must be more customers.
291
00:13:07,876 --> 00:13:09,248
What the hell is this?
292
00:13:09,273 --> 00:13:11,326
New ordinance has been
passed by the county.
293
00:13:11,351 --> 00:13:13,850
No Marijuana sales till
after the holidays.
294
00:13:13,875 --> 00:13:15,675
Hey. Fuck you.
295
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:17,400
Who has that kind of power?
296
00:13:17,425 --> 00:13:18,958
Look, I just do what I'm told, man.
297
00:13:18,983 --> 00:13:20,217
Happy Holidays.
298
00:13:20,242 --> 00:13:22,904
Hey, but... You can't do this!
299
00:13:22,929 --> 00:13:25,279
They just shut down our business.
300
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,671
What are you talking about?
301
00:13:26,696 --> 00:13:29,365
We can't sell marijuana
during the holidays.
302
00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:30,890
What are we gonna do?
303
00:13:30,915 --> 00:13:33,481
We can't give up on
the Christmas special.
304
00:13:33,506 --> 00:13:34,975
People need it.
305
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,366
I think I know a way around this.
306
00:13:37,391 --> 00:13:41,124
[ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYS]
307
00:13:41,149 --> 00:13:44,756
ANNOUNCER: There's somethin'
about the holiday season.
308
00:13:44,781 --> 00:13:46,904
Folks seem a little nicer,
309
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:50,764
The days a little more special.
310
00:13:51,141 --> 00:13:53,873
And sometimes,
we all need a little pick me up,
311
00:13:53,898 --> 00:13:56,787
but without any added ingredients.
312
00:13:56,812 --> 00:14:00,576
Introducing Marijuana-Free
Christmas Snow
313
00:14:00,601 --> 00:14:02,826
from Tegridy farms.
314
00:14:02,851 --> 00:14:07,592
All the festive snow you love
without that pesky marijuana.
315
00:14:07,617 --> 00:14:10,417
Because there's nothin'
like a warm fire,
316
00:14:10,442 --> 00:14:12,209
some holiday presents,
317
00:14:12,234 --> 00:14:15,467
and a little Rocky Mountain Cocaine.
318
00:14:15,492 --> 00:14:19,053
During Christmas, don't you
want your cocaine to be organic,
319
00:14:19,078 --> 00:14:21,108
pure, and locally grown?
320
00:14:21,703 --> 00:14:24,967
Cocaine that's grown locally
has never been smuggled,
321
00:14:24,992 --> 00:14:28,193
so the only ass it's
gonna be up is yours.
322
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,506
Marijuana-Free Christmas Snow,
323
00:14:31,531 --> 00:14:34,131
now available from Tegridy Farms.
324
00:14:34,156 --> 00:14:37,420
It's cocaine that's farm-to-nostril.
325
00:14:40,622 --> 00:14:45,725
[PEOPLE SHOUTING ERRATICALLY]
326
00:14:46,575 --> 00:14:49,631
Boy, people sure do have
the holiday spirit now.
327
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,006
Yeah. What the hell happened?
328
00:14:51,031 --> 00:14:52,068
It's weird, though.
329
00:14:52,093 --> 00:14:53,648
My parents have a lot of holiday spirit,
330
00:14:53,672 --> 00:14:55,749
but they sleep until about 3:00
in the afternoon every day.
331
00:14:55,773 --> 00:14:58,123
Yeah. Last night, my mom had
a ton of holiday spirit,
332
00:14:58,148 --> 00:14:59,233
and then, passed out.
333
00:14:59,258 --> 00:15:01,058
She hasn't gone out to
buy me any presents.
334
00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:02,760
Butters, your mom has
so much holiday spirit
335
00:15:02,784 --> 00:15:04,818
that she's riding an
ATV with her tits out.
336
00:15:04,843 --> 00:15:07,795
Christmas! Whoo!
337
00:15:07,828 --> 00:15:10,639
Yeah, that's a little too much
holiday spirit, if you ask me.
338
00:15:10,664 --> 00:15:12,209
There you are, ma'am.
339
00:15:12,234 --> 00:15:14,034
There you are, sir.
340
00:15:14,059 --> 00:15:15,592
This is amazing, Towelie.
341
00:15:15,617 --> 00:15:17,983
Tegridy Farms is finally
going to make all the money
342
00:15:18,008 --> 00:15:19,342
I ever dreamed of.
343
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:23,053
What the Sam hell is going on here?
344
00:15:23,078 --> 00:15:25,295
[ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
345
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,858
Marijuana-Free Christmas snow?
346
00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:31,467
You people realize that
tomorrow is Christmas Eve!?
347
00:15:31,492 --> 00:15:34,025
And it's gonna be the
best Christmas ever!
348
00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:35,784
[TIRES SCREECH]
349
00:15:35,809 --> 00:15:39,139
[SCREAMING, CRASHING]
350
00:15:39,164 --> 00:15:41,537
[CHEERING]
351
00:15:41,562 --> 00:15:44,095
Happy holidays! Whoo!
352
00:16:37,582 --> 00:16:39,748
Santa to base. Come in.
353
00:16:39,773 --> 00:16:41,803
UNDERPANTS GNOME: This is base.
Go ahead, Santa.
354
00:16:41,828 --> 00:16:44,131
Sleigh is too loaded down to fly.
355
00:16:44,156 --> 00:16:45,589
Gonna have to take the roads
356
00:16:45,614 --> 00:16:47,547
until I find a place
to dump all this blow.
357
00:16:47,572 --> 00:16:51,406
[ENGINE WHIRRING]
358
00:16:51,431 --> 00:16:54,779
Hold on tight, Towelie.
We have to save Christmas.
359
00:17:05,435 --> 00:17:07,193
Oh, shit!
360
00:17:11,045 --> 00:17:15,383
[YELLS]
361
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,240
The hell...?
362
00:17:21,553 --> 00:17:23,123
Linda!
363
00:17:23,148 --> 00:17:25,725
Did you do all my
Marijuana-Free Christmas Snow?
364
00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:28,017
I was just gonna ask you the same thing.
365
00:17:28,042 --> 00:17:29,467
What are you talking about?
366
00:17:29,492 --> 00:17:30,537
Mine's all gone.
367
00:17:30,562 --> 00:17:32,683
You had another bender
last night, didn't you?
368
00:17:32,708 --> 00:17:35,174
No! Clearly, you did!
369
00:17:35,199 --> 00:17:36,670
[KNOCKING]
370
00:17:37,727 --> 00:17:39,983
Thomas, we were just
wondering if we could borrow
371
00:17:40,008 --> 00:17:41,131
a little Christmas Snow?
372
00:17:41,156 --> 00:17:42,716
You can't find yours, either?
373
00:17:42,741 --> 00:17:44,889
My wife's been searching all morning.
374
00:17:46,394 --> 00:17:48,826
The trash.
We must have thrown it in the trash.
375
00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:50,216
It has to be here somewhere.
376
00:17:50,241 --> 00:17:51,708
[INDISTINCT MURMURING]
377
00:17:51,733 --> 00:17:54,166
Alright listen, somebody obviously took
378
00:17:54,191 --> 00:17:56,157
everyone else's snow, and it's not cool!
379
00:17:56,182 --> 00:17:57,783
Come on! It's Christmas!
380
00:17:57,808 --> 00:18:00,941
Somebody has to have a little.
I feel like total shit.
381
00:18:00,966 --> 00:18:02,466
It's gone, mkay!
382
00:18:02,491 --> 00:18:04,404
Just face it! It's all gone!
383
00:18:06,927 --> 00:18:08,108
SANTA: This is Santa.
384
00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:10,183
The sleigh still isn't functional.
385
00:18:10,208 --> 00:18:12,141
Got some of it repaired,
but I don't think
386
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:14,866
I'm gonna make it back
in time for Christmas.
387
00:18:14,891 --> 00:18:16,084
Hey, Santa?
388
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,670
We need to talk.
389
00:18:18,695 --> 00:18:20,849
Stay back, motherfucker.
390
00:18:20,874 --> 00:18:22,608
Santa, you don't understand.
391
00:18:22,633 --> 00:18:25,166
Oh, Santa understands plenty.
392
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:28,091
You assholes drink and drive,
and you think marijuana
393
00:18:28,116 --> 00:18:30,983
is somehow different,
and go driving around on that,
394
00:18:31,008 --> 00:18:33,387
and then, you go and make this shit.
395
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:36,108
Santa, that's not just cocaine.
396
00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:37,766
It's Tegridy cocaine.
397
00:18:37,791 --> 00:18:39,522
[ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYS]
398
00:18:39,547 --> 00:18:42,350
Oh, don't give Santa that. Coke is coke.
399
00:18:42,375 --> 00:18:43,875
That's not true.
400
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:47,849
This cocaine is grown locally,
by local people.
401
00:18:47,874 --> 00:18:49,514
Please, just try it.
402
00:18:49,539 --> 00:18:51,771
Santa's done coke before.
Santa knows what...
403
00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:53,129
Please.
404
00:19:00,241 --> 00:19:03,274
It's cocaine... just
like every other cocaine
405
00:19:03,299 --> 00:19:04,723
Santa's ever tried.
406
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:08,883
You people really think
that the holidays...
407
00:19:08,908 --> 00:19:10,474
Okay, yeah, that's pretty good.
408
00:19:10,499 --> 00:19:11,999
But it doesn't matter.
409
00:19:12,024 --> 00:19:14,324
Because Christmas is a...
410
00:19:14,349 --> 00:19:16,608
Wow, that is really clean.
411
00:19:16,641 --> 00:19:17,700
Right?
412
00:19:17,725 --> 00:19:20,958
It's, like, not speedy at all.
It's really mellow.
413
00:19:21,908 --> 00:19:24,174
Honestly, I didn't know
cocaine could be this pure.
414
00:19:24,199 --> 00:19:25,246
Wow.
415
00:19:25,271 --> 00:19:27,917
Because it's grown here, on a farm.
416
00:19:27,942 --> 00:19:31,974
It's not cut with any nasty
chemicals or harmful impurities.
417
00:19:31,999 --> 00:19:33,965
No, you can tell it's really clean.
418
00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:35,489
Santa like-y.
419
00:19:37,808 --> 00:19:41,441
Maybe I have been a little too
old-fashioned in my thinking.
420
00:19:41,466 --> 00:19:44,000
JESUS: I can't believe
what I am hearing!
421
00:19:47,674 --> 00:19:49,341
Oh, Jesus.
422
00:19:49,366 --> 00:19:52,600
I have heard your prayers,
Marsh, and I have been watching.
423
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,958
You want people to think
that homegrown cocaine
424
00:19:54,983 --> 00:19:57,473
is the same as legalizing marijuana?
425
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,055
Jesus, you really got to try it.
426
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,184
No!
427
00:20:01,209 --> 00:20:02,411
You cut out the middle men.
428
00:20:02,436 --> 00:20:06,379
Nobody dies in South America.
Nobody dies from impurities.
429
00:20:07,227 --> 00:20:09,027
Please, Jesus.
430
00:20:14,709 --> 00:20:16,742
Okay. I get it. It's really clean.
431
00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:18,536
It's... Yeah...
432
00:20:18,561 --> 00:20:19,761
It's a good high.
433
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,520
It's fucking pure.
434
00:20:21,545 --> 00:20:23,168
It's Tegridy.
435
00:20:23,193 --> 00:20:25,193
Well,. maybe we all do
need a little Tegridy
436
00:20:25,218 --> 00:20:26,692
at Christmas time.
437
00:20:27,510 --> 00:20:29,637
What are you doing, Jesus?
438
00:20:29,836 --> 00:20:32,802
I think it's time for a
little Christmas miracle.
439
00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:53,020
Hey.
440
00:20:53,045 --> 00:20:54,653
Hey, everybody!
441
00:21:05,099 --> 00:21:07,106
Try to catch some on your tongue.
442
00:21:07,670 --> 00:21:09,003
It's fun.
443
00:21:10,445 --> 00:21:12,599
Does this mean you all have
the Christmas spirit again!
444
00:21:12,623 --> 00:21:14,423
You're darn tootin', we do.
445
00:21:14,448 --> 00:21:16,348
[TALKING, CHEERING]
446
00:21:16,373 --> 00:21:20,807
Hey, guys. I'm so happy my
Christmas Special turned out okay.
447
00:21:20,832 --> 00:21:22,637
It's more than okay.
448
00:21:22,662 --> 00:21:26,162
Tegridy cocaine is smooth,
and has a great finish.
449
00:21:26,187 --> 00:21:28,320
I'll bet when coke becomes legal soon,
450
00:21:28,345 --> 00:21:30,708
everyone will want Tegridy cocaine.
451
00:21:30,733 --> 00:21:33,533
Well only one thing left
to do now, gang.
452
00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:35,725
Let's go driving!
453
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:37,717
[CHEERING]
454
00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:44,579
ANNOUNCER: All-natural Tegridy cocaine,
455
00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:48,103
endorsed and approved by Santa Claus.
456
00:21:48,128 --> 00:21:50,931
Available soon at a store near you.
457
00:21:50,981 --> 00:21:55,531
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