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??
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RANDY: ? Goin' down to Tegridy Farms,
gonna have myself a time ?
3
00:00:15,419 --> 00:00:17,290
? Friendly faces everywhere ?
4
00:00:17,301 --> 00:00:19,050
? Humble folks without temptation ?
5
00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:22,357
? Goin' down to Tegridy Farms,
gonna leave my woes behind ?
6
00:00:22,357 --> 00:00:24,359
? There's ample parking day or night ?
7
00:00:24,369 --> 00:00:26,038
? People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ?
8
00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:27,628
? I'm headin' on down to Tegridy Farms ?
9
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,509
? Gonna see if I can't unwind ?
10
00:00:29,527 --> 00:00:31,296
TOWELIE: I got some weed, and...
11
00:00:31,316 --> 00:00:32,985
I don't know what's going on.
12
00:00:33,005 --> 00:00:34,874
RANDY: ? So come on down
to Tegridy Farms ?
13
00:00:34,893 --> 00:00:37,121
? And meet some friends of mine ?
14
00:00:41,069 --> 00:00:44,127
? Happy 300 to us ?
15
00:00:44,129 --> 00:00:46,902
? Happy 300 to us ?
16
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:50,475
? Happy 300, Tegridy Farms ?
17
00:00:50,474 --> 00:00:51,519
- Ugh!
- Ugh!
18
00:00:51,536 --> 00:00:55,339
? Happy three hundred thousand dollars ?
19
00:00:55,527 --> 00:00:56,879
Can you believe it, gang?
20
00:00:56,894 --> 00:01:00,150
We've broken $300,000 selling weed.
21
00:01:02,082 --> 00:01:04,017
Not to be a dick,
22
00:01:04,028 --> 00:01:08,081
but I remember back when you,
Sharon, and you, Shelley,
23
00:01:08,075 --> 00:01:11,775
said buying a pot farm
was a "stupid" idea.
24
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:14,154
Now we're living the dream.
25
00:01:14,169 --> 00:01:16,939
You're living the dream.
This is your dream.
26
00:01:19,216 --> 00:01:21,724
You know, [SCOFFS] is it me
27
00:01:21,730 --> 00:01:25,533
or are people starting to not
be that stoked on Tegridy Farms?
28
00:01:27,675 --> 00:01:30,903
Are you guys still pissed
off about the China thing?
29
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:34,268
You may not like that I
do business with China,
30
00:01:34,273 --> 00:01:36,666
but personally, I think you
guys having a problem
31
00:01:36,673 --> 00:01:38,567
with China is racist.
32
00:01:38,578 --> 00:01:40,695
Now come on! Let's celebrate 300!
33
00:01:40,704 --> 00:01:42,032
Who wants shots?
34
00:01:42,054 --> 00:01:43,410
Shots?
35
00:01:43,425 --> 00:01:45,448
No shots! No shots!
36
00:01:45,466 --> 00:01:47,629
Eric, you have to be a big boy.
37
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Big boys get a toy from the toy chest.
38
00:01:49,871 --> 00:01:52,541
No, no, no, no, no! [SCREECHING]
39
00:01:52,866 --> 00:01:55,395
- Eric, It's just a little prick.
- [LAUGHS]
40
00:01:55,401 --> 00:01:57,137
No, no, no! Nooooo!
41
00:01:57,157 --> 00:01:58,563
Good boy, Eric!
42
00:01:58,577 --> 00:02:00,366
[SQUEALING]
43
00:02:00,378 --> 00:02:01,945
[GLASS SHATTERS]
44
00:02:01,958 --> 00:02:03,860
[CARTMAN SQUEALING]
45
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,671
Our school now has a very strict policy
46
00:02:07,681 --> 00:02:09,399
when it comes to immunizations.
47
00:02:09,411 --> 00:02:12,956
Everyone has to follow protocol
or it puts everyone at risk.
48
00:02:13,271 --> 00:02:15,854
I'm sorry, PC Principal.
It's just that...
49
00:02:15,867 --> 00:02:18,905
my little Eric really
doesn't like shots.
50
00:02:18,915 --> 00:02:21,517
Well, Eric, nobody likes shots.
They're just a fact of life.
51
00:02:21,530 --> 00:02:23,099
No, no. You don't understand.
52
00:02:23,112 --> 00:02:25,179
I've taken him to the
doctor every Friday
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for the past four years.
54
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They try to give him his shot,
55
00:02:27,786 --> 00:02:29,591
but he gets scared and runs around,
56
00:02:29,612 --> 00:02:31,214
and he squeals like a little pig.
57
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,036
The doctors try to catch him,
58
00:02:33,056 --> 00:02:35,474
but Eric greases himself
up so they can't.
59
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,297
I'm sorry, but my hands are tied here.
60
00:02:37,309 --> 00:02:38,496
If Eric isn't immunized,
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then he cannot go to this school.
62
00:02:40,225 --> 00:02:43,146
[SOBBING] Please! I've tried everything!
63
00:02:43,157 --> 00:02:45,059
You have to let Eric go to school.
64
00:02:45,069 --> 00:02:47,172
I work all day, and without school,
65
00:02:47,181 --> 00:02:50,151
he'll just... He'll just have nothing!
66
00:02:50,154 --> 00:02:52,570
What do you think's gonna be
different next time you try?
67
00:02:52,577 --> 00:02:55,194
If... If you could offer Eric something.
68
00:02:55,199 --> 00:02:57,488
Sometimes when Eric
is behaving this way,
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00:02:57,496 --> 00:03:00,085
I think of a gift or
a treat of some kind.
70
00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:01,401
Oh, that's a good idea.
71
00:03:01,416 --> 00:03:02,743
Like, what are you thinking?
72
00:03:02,774 --> 00:03:04,210
I don't know!
73
00:03:04,224 --> 00:03:06,226
Like maybe exclusive use
74
00:03:06,244 --> 00:03:08,319
of the tetherball pole at
recess for the next two months?
75
00:03:08,327 --> 00:03:10,442
Ooh, would that be possible?
76
00:03:11,153 --> 00:03:13,110
What I care most about is
the safety of the students,
77
00:03:13,119 --> 00:03:15,602
so if you'll take your shots,
then I'll agree.
78
00:03:15,608 --> 00:03:16,608
Sweet.
79
00:03:16,626 --> 00:03:18,919
But, Eric, you really have
to do it this time, okay?
80
00:03:18,927 --> 00:03:21,715
When we're at the doctors,
you can't change your mind.
81
00:03:21,719 --> 00:03:23,253
I won't change my mind.
82
00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:25,477
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
83
00:03:25,485 --> 00:03:26,920
[CARTMAN SQUEALS IN DISTANCE]
84
00:03:26,942 --> 00:03:28,778
[CRASHING, GLASS SHATTERS]
85
00:03:28,797 --> 00:03:31,718
[SQUEALING CONTINUES]
86
00:03:31,721 --> 00:03:33,622
[CRASHING, SHATTERING]
87
00:03:33,633 --> 00:03:35,267
Eric, it's okay!
88
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[SQUEALING CONTINUES]
89
00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:39,636
[GLASS SHATTERS]
90
00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:41,035
[CLATTERING]
91
00:03:41,049 --> 00:03:43,454
I'm sorry but I have a lot
of other patients to see.
92
00:03:43,461 --> 00:03:45,663
We'll just have to try again next week.
93
00:03:46,027 --> 00:03:48,448
Come on, Eric. We're going home.
94
00:03:48,715 --> 00:03:49,941
We're going home? You promise?
95
00:03:49,957 --> 00:03:51,934
Let's go! Get in the car!
96
00:03:52,687 --> 00:03:54,577
Wait, can I get a toy
from the toy chest?
97
00:03:54,596 --> 00:03:56,429
One toy, Eric!
98
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,518
Cool!
99
00:03:57,535 --> 00:03:59,205
[TOYS RATTLE]
100
00:04:00,623 --> 00:04:03,032
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
101
00:04:03,039 --> 00:04:04,751
[SIREN CHIRPS]
102
00:04:04,763 --> 00:04:07,433
[MARCHING BAND PLAYS]
103
00:04:07,445 --> 00:04:09,079
[PARADE MUSIC PLAYS]
104
00:04:09,101 --> 00:04:10,336
Yeah!
105
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,133
300!
106
00:04:12,144 --> 00:04:14,533
Tegridy Farms! Hello, South Park!
107
00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:15,872
Thanks for making Tegridy
108
00:04:15,887 --> 00:04:18,583
the most profitable farm in Colorado!
109
00:04:18,596 --> 00:04:20,828
We couldn't have done it
without you, so here!
110
00:04:20,836 --> 00:04:22,531
- Here's some beads!
- [RED ROCKERS' "CHINA" PLAYS]
111
00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:24,624
Here you go! Beads for everybody!
112
00:04:24,633 --> 00:04:27,536
I've got $300,000!
113
00:04:27,539 --> 00:04:31,838
? China, China! ?
114
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:36,507
? Da-da-ya-ya history! ?
115
00:04:36,516 --> 00:04:39,634
? It was la la la China! ?
116
00:04:39,635 --> 00:04:44,173
- [SIRENS CHIRP]
- ? China, China! ?
117
00:04:44,173 --> 00:04:46,201
Alright, China!
118
00:04:46,211 --> 00:04:48,320
BUTTERS: So, then I guess the school
said Eric can't come here no more
119
00:04:48,328 --> 00:04:49,896
and so he's been, like, kicked out.
120
00:04:49,909 --> 00:04:51,986
Cartman can't go to this school anymore?
121
00:04:51,995 --> 00:04:53,743
Yeah, he was actually
kind of upset about it
122
00:04:53,755 --> 00:04:55,264
because he said on the
phone that he has to do
123
00:04:55,277 --> 00:04:57,211
homeschooling with this
really mean teacher.
124
00:04:57,221 --> 00:04:58,221
Oh, my God.
125
00:04:58,238 --> 00:05:00,768
I don't know how long this will last,
but I'm gonna savor every minute.
126
00:05:00,773 --> 00:05:03,208
Hey, guys! I'm back in school!
127
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,416
Everything worked out.
128
00:05:04,441 --> 00:05:05,881
I'm allowed back, and it's all good!
129
00:05:05,898 --> 00:05:09,077
- You got your shots?
- No, I don't have to get my shots ever!
130
00:05:09,078 --> 00:05:10,257
And they can't do anything about it.
131
00:05:10,272 --> 00:05:12,380
Because I'm a consciousness objector.
132
00:05:12,389 --> 00:05:14,169
A conscientious objector?
133
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:16,216
Yeah, I told the school,
I said, look you guys,
134
00:05:16,226 --> 00:05:18,341
I happen to have... "religious, moral,
135
00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:20,006
or philosophical convictions."
136
00:05:20,018 --> 00:05:22,251
And... And I said I believe
that "health and disease
137
00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:23,915
should not be controlled
by vaccination."
138
00:05:23,927 --> 00:05:25,566
Those are my beliefs.
139
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,705
And besides,
I don't want to risk immunizations
140
00:05:27,715 --> 00:05:29,467
making me artistic. [SNIFFLES]
141
00:05:29,479 --> 00:05:31,275
Dude, Cartman, don't you know
that if you don't get immunized
142
00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:33,067
- you actually put people at risk who...
- One second! One second!
143
00:05:33,077 --> 00:05:35,097
[SNIFFLES] Sorry.
One second, gotta sneeze.
144
00:05:35,386 --> 00:05:37,528
Oh, never mind. Never mind.
I'm sorry. What were you saying?
145
00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:39,020
I'm saying that we all had to get shots
146
00:05:39,032 --> 00:05:40,944
and, actually,
if just one person doesn't...
147
00:05:41,453 --> 00:05:42,629
Oh!
148
00:05:42,645 --> 00:05:43,714
Snot web.
149
00:05:43,731 --> 00:05:44,956
I'll be right back, you guys.
150
00:05:44,972 --> 00:05:46,494
Can somebody get me a paper towel?
151
00:05:46,507 --> 00:05:47,771
I got a snot web here.
152
00:05:47,786 --> 00:05:49,588
Consciousness objector coming through.
153
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,433
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
154
00:05:53,429 --> 00:05:54,930
Alright, everyone. Listen up.
155
00:05:54,944 --> 00:05:56,413
I understand your frustration,
156
00:05:56,426 --> 00:05:58,895
but a government
organization like a school
157
00:05:58,910 --> 00:06:02,373
cannot impose its will on
a conscientious objector.
158
00:06:02,372 --> 00:06:05,144
It's not safe for our
kids to be in this school!
159
00:06:05,148 --> 00:06:07,756
You do understand that up
to 5% of kids with vaccines
160
00:06:07,761 --> 00:06:09,283
can still be at risk.
161
00:06:09,297 --> 00:06:11,574
Everyone has to do it,
or it doesn't matter!
162
00:06:11,581 --> 00:06:14,098
Yeah, I don't quite
see how it's fair that
163
00:06:14,104 --> 00:06:16,422
all the rest of our
community agrees to this.
164
00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:19,350
Why does one family get
to have a problem with it?
165
00:06:19,353 --> 00:06:20,477
I'm sorry.
166
00:06:20,493 --> 00:06:22,855
It's just my strong,
personal belief that
167
00:06:22,863 --> 00:06:24,287
"among other things,
168
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,424
vaccines contain harmful ingredients.
169
00:06:26,433 --> 00:06:29,190
Formaldehyde,
aluminum and even Mercury."
170
00:06:29,194 --> 00:06:32,333
Aw, come on, Mrs. Cartman,
all major medical organizations
171
00:06:32,334 --> 00:06:33,738
state that vaccines are safe!
172
00:06:33,753 --> 00:06:37,268
The CDC, the FDA, UNICEF,
and the US Department of Health!
173
00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:39,401
Yes, yes, I know but...
174
00:06:39,410 --> 00:06:43,547
"we can't even risk a 0.1%
chance of vaccinations
175
00:06:43,541 --> 00:06:45,600
making our children artistic."
176
00:06:46,088 --> 00:06:48,456
Well, that's true. There are
enough artists in the world.
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00:06:48,463 --> 00:06:50,540
Look, I don't know what kind of mother
178
00:06:50,549 --> 00:06:51,789
wouldn't vaccinate their child,
179
00:06:51,805 --> 00:06:54,202
but it's putting everyone
in danger, and that's why...
180
00:06:54,209 --> 00:06:57,112
Then you try to catch him! You try it!
181
00:06:57,115 --> 00:06:58,951
Don't you people criticize me
182
00:06:58,962 --> 00:07:01,064
until you've taken Eric to the doctor,
183
00:07:01,073 --> 00:07:03,132
and you've tried to hold him down!
184
00:07:03,141 --> 00:07:04,335
I'm a good mother!
185
00:07:04,351 --> 00:07:08,568
Don't you dare question
if I care about my child!
186
00:07:09,202 --> 00:07:10,915
Oh, shit.
187
00:07:10,927 --> 00:07:12,659
O-Of course you care.
188
00:07:12,671 --> 00:07:14,906
Nobody likes seeing their child in pain.
189
00:07:15,298 --> 00:07:17,658
Maybe... Maybe you should
just let us take care
190
00:07:17,665 --> 00:07:19,289
of getting Eric his shots.
191
00:07:20,459 --> 00:07:25,081
You don't understand how hard it is.
192
00:07:25,071 --> 00:07:26,767
We'll find a way to make it
193
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,933
completely painless for him, okay?
194
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:35,075
[SNORING]
195
00:07:41,293 --> 00:07:42,695
[KEYS JANGLE]
196
00:07:42,710 --> 00:07:44,360
[DOOR CREAKS]
197
00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:00,212
Alright, alright. Bring him in!
198
00:08:03,145 --> 00:08:04,760
The little boy's room is upstairs.
199
00:08:04,773 --> 00:08:06,850
Oh, I don't know if I
can go through with this.
200
00:08:06,859 --> 00:08:09,467
My little Eric is going
to be so mad at me!
201
00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:11,048
Look, by the time he
knows what's happened,
202
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:12,106
it'll already be over.
203
00:08:12,123 --> 00:08:13,973
Did you bring his boo-boo present?
204
00:08:13,984 --> 00:08:15,819
Yeah, yeah, come on. Thomas and Laura.
205
00:08:20,065 --> 00:08:21,555
Okay? See? We got the present.
206
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:22,802
Everything's gonna be fine.
207
00:08:22,818 --> 00:08:25,167
[SNORING]
208
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,006
[SNORING CONTINUES]
209
00:08:37,239 --> 00:08:38,239
Hey, what's going on?
210
00:08:38,257 --> 00:08:39,258
[SQUEALS]
211
00:08:39,275 --> 00:08:41,277
No, no! Nooo!
212
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,903
Oh! It'll just be for a second!
213
00:08:42,916 --> 00:08:44,351
Oh, Jesus!
214
00:08:44,365 --> 00:08:46,653
[CARTMAN SQUEALS]
215
00:08:46,661 --> 00:08:49,298
Eric, there's a big treat
for you if you stay still!
216
00:08:49,303 --> 00:08:50,570
- [SQUEALING CONTINUES]
- Catch him!
217
00:08:50,584 --> 00:08:52,178
- [SQUEALING]
- BUTTER'S DAD: Thomas! Linda!
218
00:08:52,190 --> 00:08:53,625
Y-You gotta get him!
219
00:08:53,639 --> 00:08:55,508
[SQUEALING CONTINUES]
220
00:08:55,519 --> 00:08:57,922
[SNORTS]
221
00:08:57,929 --> 00:08:59,630
[SQUEALING RESUMES]
222
00:09:04,455 --> 00:09:06,156
[SQUEALING CONTINUES]
223
00:09:07,688 --> 00:09:09,235
Eric!
224
00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:10,441
Oh!
225
00:09:11,879 --> 00:09:13,781
Well, what do we do now?
226
00:09:13,947 --> 00:09:16,683
I think the only way we're
gonna get Eric immunized
227
00:09:16,688 --> 00:09:18,410
is by bringing in an expert.
228
00:09:18,966 --> 00:09:22,461
- [WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS]
- [TELEPHONE RINGS]
229
00:09:27,422 --> 00:09:30,574
This is Big Mesquite Murph.
How can I help you?
230
00:09:31,397 --> 00:09:34,841
You say you got yourself
a conscientious objector?
231
00:09:36,229 --> 00:09:38,231
Well, you just sit tight.
232
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,907
There aren't never no hog
233
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,823
that Big Mesquite Murph couldn't catch.
234
00:09:42,826 --> 00:09:45,138
??
235
00:09:48,116 --> 00:09:52,364
??
236
00:09:52,357 --> 00:09:55,828
How many thousand dollars has
Tegridy Farms made selling weed?
237
00:09:55,827 --> 00:09:57,888
$300,000!
238
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,833
It's a 300-palooza!
239
00:09:59,843 --> 00:10:01,913
Come on down and see what we've got!
240
00:10:01,932 --> 00:10:05,006
- DEEP VOICE: What have we got?
- We've got $300,000!
241
00:10:05,008 --> 00:10:08,765
Just selling' all this [ECHOING] weed!
242
00:10:09,031 --> 00:10:10,727
And this month, we're celebrating
243
00:10:10,739 --> 00:10:12,926
all our new customers in China!
244
00:10:12,934 --> 00:10:15,744
[REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS]
245
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:18,168
We're celebrating with new T-shirts!
246
00:10:18,175 --> 00:10:21,853
"Tegridy Farms made $300,000
and all I got was high."
247
00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:23,820
Get yours for just ten bucks!
248
00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:25,217
We couldn't have done it without you!
249
00:10:25,231 --> 00:10:28,533
Remember! That's $300,000!
250
00:10:28,533 --> 00:10:29,588
[REMOTE CLICKS]
251
00:10:29,605 --> 00:10:31,470
Well... what'd you think, guys?
252
00:10:31,481 --> 00:10:33,519
How much did you spend
making that commercial?
253
00:10:33,528 --> 00:10:35,644
Who cares, Sharon? Business is up.
254
00:10:35,654 --> 00:10:39,072
Nobody cares about your stupid $300,000!
255
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:40,433
We've become the kind of business
256
00:10:40,455 --> 00:10:42,498
that we moved out here to get away from!
257
00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:44,553
You know why the Chinese buy our weed?!
258
00:10:44,562 --> 00:10:47,005
It's to plant on their
student protesters
259
00:10:47,012 --> 00:10:48,881
so they can put them in jail!
260
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,869
Yeah, we make money either way.
261
00:10:50,887 --> 00:10:53,396
You don't care how anyone else feels!
262
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:55,504
We bought this farm together, Randy!
263
00:10:55,513 --> 00:10:57,197
Or did you forget that?
264
00:10:57,619 --> 00:10:59,781
I hate marijuana!
265
00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:01,110
[GASPS] Shelley!
266
00:11:01,171 --> 00:11:02,638
I hate marijuana, too.
267
00:11:02,651 --> 00:11:04,418
[GASPS] Stan!
268
00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:11,836
Oh, Eric, I...
269
00:11:11,850 --> 00:11:14,120
wasn't sure if you'd be up yet.
270
00:11:14,136 --> 00:11:15,404
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
271
00:11:18,209 --> 00:11:22,688
Eric, you know I only want
what's best for my little snookums.
272
00:11:22,851 --> 00:11:25,851
You read me a bedtime story.
You tucked me in.
273
00:11:25,854 --> 00:11:27,447
And then you let half
the town into my room
274
00:11:27,459 --> 00:11:29,260
to try and give me a
shot against my will.
275
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,706
It was supposed to
make it easier on you,
276
00:11:31,721 --> 00:11:34,258
and th-th-they didn't catch you anyway.
277
00:11:34,271 --> 00:11:37,141
This is goodbye, Mom.
I can't live with you anymore.
278
00:11:37,374 --> 00:11:38,968
Eric, please!
279
00:11:38,981 --> 00:11:41,073
You don't know how hard
it is to be a parent!
280
00:11:41,082 --> 00:11:43,595
Sometimes we don't know
the right thing to do!
281
00:11:43,601 --> 00:11:45,079
So you go along with society
282
00:11:45,101 --> 00:11:46,341
and try to force immunizations on me
283
00:11:46,356 --> 00:11:48,034
even knowing the health risks?
284
00:11:48,046 --> 00:11:50,286
What if immunizations made my
friend Timmy the way he is?
285
00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:51,816
What if they made Jimmy the way he is?
286
00:11:51,829 --> 00:11:53,718
What if they made Token the way he is?
287
00:11:53,729 --> 00:11:55,611
Eric, when I was at the store,
288
00:11:55,622 --> 00:11:57,618
I got you some Little Debbie
Cream Pies and...
289
00:11:57,628 --> 00:11:59,135
That isn't gonna work this time, Mom!
290
00:11:59,148 --> 00:12:01,412
I don't want to be around you anymore!
291
00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:04,131
So I don't know where you're gonna stay,
292
00:12:04,144 --> 00:12:05,360
but you'll just have to figure it out.
293
00:12:05,374 --> 00:12:07,010
I've already packed all your things.
294
00:12:07,023 --> 00:12:10,136
Sweetie, you can't live on your own.
295
00:12:10,138 --> 00:12:11,651
You should've thought about
that before you made
296
00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:12,741
this house a nightmare for me.
297
00:12:12,757 --> 00:12:13,824
Goodbye, mother.
298
00:12:21,959 --> 00:12:24,897
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS]
299
00:12:24,908 --> 00:12:27,990
Alright, youngin,
we can do this the easy way
300
00:12:27,992 --> 00:12:29,990
or we can do it hard.
301
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,637
??
302
00:12:33,635 --> 00:12:35,803
[SQUEALING, SNORTING]
303
00:12:35,811 --> 00:12:38,179
- Yeeeeeeee-haw!
- [SQUEALING CONTINUES]
304
00:12:38,187 --> 00:12:40,587
- Soooiee!
- [SQUEALING CONTINUES]
305
00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:49,636
??
306
00:12:52,031 --> 00:12:53,932
Well? What happened.
307
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,305
[SLURRING] I ain't never
seen no hog like that...
308
00:12:57,308 --> 00:13:00,842
It's like it could run
two places at once.
309
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,647
You said you could catch him!
310
00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:04,293
I did catch 'im!
311
00:13:04,306 --> 00:13:06,341
I got him locked in a pen!
312
00:13:06,351 --> 00:13:08,320
It's just that every time
I bring out that needle,
313
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,299
he becomes like a hog tornado,
314
00:13:10,309 --> 00:13:12,177
- but I'll get him!
- Yeah?
315
00:13:12,188 --> 00:13:14,077
Or maybe you just believe a little bit
316
00:13:14,087 --> 00:13:16,781
that vaccinations shouldn't be
mandated for school attendance
317
00:13:16,786 --> 00:13:18,917
due to possible
still-unknown side effects.
318
00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:21,287
Don't you question me.
319
00:13:21,299 --> 00:13:24,006
If anyone believes that
the most common side effect
320
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,943
of vaccines... anaphylaxis...
321
00:13:25,929 --> 00:13:28,361
Occurs in only one per
several hundred thousand
322
00:13:28,368 --> 00:13:29,770
to one per million vaccinations,
323
00:13:29,784 --> 00:13:32,119
it's Big Mesquite Murph.
324
00:13:32,127 --> 00:13:34,621
Now this hog you got
here, he's contained,
325
00:13:34,627 --> 00:13:37,330
but now I need help
gettin' him his shots.
326
00:13:37,335 --> 00:13:39,137
The only way we're gonna get him,
327
00:13:39,148 --> 00:13:41,497
is we gotta build a big enclosed pen
328
00:13:41,504 --> 00:13:43,472
'bout 100 feet in diameter.
329
00:13:43,482 --> 00:13:47,152
I'm also gonna need the best
wranglers flown in from Wichita.
330
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:50,391
And I'm gonna need some loud
music and some barbecue.
331
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:52,531
Barbecue?
332
00:13:53,497 --> 00:13:54,991
[DOORBELL RINGS]
333
00:13:57,265 --> 00:13:58,916
Mrs. Cartman?
334
00:13:58,928 --> 00:14:00,196
Hello, Randy...
335
00:14:00,211 --> 00:14:02,848
I'm... sorry to trouble you, but...
336
00:14:02,853 --> 00:14:04,579
I don't know where to turn.
337
00:14:04,591 --> 00:14:06,493
I was hoping maybe...
338
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,481
I could buy some ganja.
339
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:10,276
Whoa, whoa, what's going on?
340
00:14:10,288 --> 00:14:12,290
My son h-hates me.
341
00:14:12,299 --> 00:14:14,630
The whole town h-hates me.
342
00:14:14,638 --> 00:14:16,863
Nobody thinks I'm a good mom,
343
00:14:16,871 --> 00:14:18,907
and I don't know if I am anymore!
344
00:14:18,917 --> 00:14:20,251
Okay, okay, come on...
345
00:14:20,265 --> 00:14:22,633
let's get you inside
and get you some weed.
346
00:14:23,281 --> 00:14:25,679
It all just happened
gradually, you know?
347
00:14:25,686 --> 00:14:27,921
[INHALES] I don't know why
348
00:14:27,929 --> 00:14:30,117
but it's like everyone's against me.
349
00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:32,528
Even my own son. [EXHALES]
350
00:14:32,543 --> 00:14:34,479
Believe me, I know how that feels.
351
00:14:34,497 --> 00:14:36,198
[INHALES]
352
00:14:36,218 --> 00:14:37,858
You try to do what's
best for your family
353
00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:39,337
and all you do is get shit on.
354
00:14:39,351 --> 00:14:42,377
I know immunizations are
probably for the best...
355
00:14:42,379 --> 00:14:44,981
[INHALES] ... but then you
read some of this stuff
356
00:14:44,995 --> 00:14:46,986
on the Internet, and I don't know.
357
00:14:46,996 --> 00:14:49,131
It's scary. [EXHALES]
358
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:50,845
That's just it. [INHALES]
359
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,529
When it comes to families,
we just have to do
360
00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:54,469
what we think is best.
361
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:55,894
It doesn't matter.
362
00:14:55,910 --> 00:14:58,302
They're having an all-county
mandated immunization
363
00:14:58,309 --> 00:14:59,675
round up tonight.
364
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,178
Any child not immunized is about to be.
365
00:15:02,184 --> 00:15:04,018
All-county immunization round up?
366
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,226
What's that?
367
00:15:06,497 --> 00:15:08,098
ANNOUNCER: Good evenin', everybody,
368
00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:11,898
and welcome to the CDC Child
Immunization challenge.
369
00:15:11,895 --> 00:15:14,031
This here special event is sponsored by
370
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,218
Voices for Vaccines and also by Chevy.
371
00:15:17,219 --> 00:15:20,141
So with all that all out the way,
let's get to some action!
372
00:15:20,144 --> 00:15:25,738
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
373
00:15:25,730 --> 00:15:28,166
First up, we have
little Danny Ray Johnston
374
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:29,973
out of Bailey, Colorada.
375
00:15:29,985 --> 00:15:32,787
He has not been immunized
since kindergarten.
376
00:15:32,791 --> 00:15:35,571
He says he just don't like needles.
377
00:15:35,575 --> 00:15:36,878
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
378
00:15:36,893 --> 00:15:41,737
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
379
00:15:41,726 --> 00:15:43,489
No! Noooooo!
380
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,054
- [SCREAMING]
- And there they go!
381
00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:47,614
- [SCREAMING CONTINUES]
- [BANJO MUSIC PLAYS]
382
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:49,429
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
383
00:15:49,441 --> 00:15:51,713
No! Noooo! [SCREAMS]
384
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,004
[CROWD OHH'S]
385
00:15:54,012 --> 00:15:57,365
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
386
00:15:57,365 --> 00:16:01,536
[GATE RATTLING]
387
00:16:01,530 --> 00:16:06,610
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
388
00:16:06,596 --> 00:16:08,075
Ah! [SHOUTS]
389
00:16:08,089 --> 00:16:09,897
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
390
00:16:09,909 --> 00:16:11,731
Nooo!
391
00:16:11,742 --> 00:16:15,975
- [CRYING]
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
392
00:16:15,968 --> 00:16:18,146
He stuck him in the left buttocks!
393
00:16:18,154 --> 00:16:20,557
That is a 8.7 score, right there.
394
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:23,934
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- [GATE RATTLING]
395
00:16:23,934 --> 00:16:26,877
Alright let's hear it for little
Danny Ray, folks.
396
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,566
He's a little worse for wear
but now he can pick himself up
397
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:31,748
a nice little toy from the toy chest.
398
00:16:31,756 --> 00:16:33,529
[BANGING] Jesus...
399
00:16:33,541 --> 00:16:34,661
I've got to get out of here!
400
00:16:38,019 --> 00:16:40,826
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
401
00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:42,484
[CRYING] It's just... It's like...
402
00:16:42,496 --> 00:16:45,808
Can't people see I'm trying to do
what's best for my family?!
403
00:16:45,808 --> 00:16:48,298
I'm trying to provide for
them by running a business!
404
00:16:48,305 --> 00:16:50,570
I'm sorry if I make mistakes!
405
00:16:50,878 --> 00:16:52,346
I know, Randy.
406
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,275
Other parents expect me
to deal with Eric and...
407
00:16:54,286 --> 00:16:56,095
And I get it from both sides
408
00:16:56,106 --> 00:16:59,252
because my family's
pissed off at me, too!
409
00:16:59,253 --> 00:17:01,407
- I understand.
- No, you don't!
410
00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:03,664
- Yes, I do.
- No, you don't!
411
00:17:03,672 --> 00:17:05,168
[GARBLED] Nobody understands.
412
00:17:05,182 --> 00:17:10,371
Randy, we all try to do
the best for our family.
413
00:17:10,357 --> 00:17:12,075
And sometimes...
414
00:17:12,087 --> 00:17:14,248
when we're afraid of being judged,
415
00:17:14,256 --> 00:17:16,825
we can push our family away.
416
00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:19,342
Yeah, it's like everybody's
doing business with China.
417
00:17:19,356 --> 00:17:21,124
Just, like, get over it.
418
00:17:21,145 --> 00:17:23,914
You should just feel lucky
that you have a partner
419
00:17:23,926 --> 00:17:25,833
in doing what's right for your family.
420
00:17:25,843 --> 00:17:26,843
Yeah...
421
00:17:26,861 --> 00:17:29,719
I'm afraid I haven't been very
kind to that partner lately.
422
00:17:29,722 --> 00:17:31,924
I think maybe it's time for an apology.
423
00:17:31,940 --> 00:17:33,975
Thanks for the talk, Randy,
424
00:17:33,994 --> 00:17:35,405
and for the weed.
425
00:17:35,419 --> 00:17:36,486
Where you going?
426
00:17:36,503 --> 00:17:39,922
I'm going to do the only
thing I know how to do.
427
00:17:40,234 --> 00:17:41,730
Be a mom.
428
00:17:41,744 --> 00:17:43,746
[SCREAMING] Nooo!
429
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,261
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
430
00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:48,032
ANNOUNCER: Alright,
and that is Dr. Chet Molwinns
431
00:17:48,036 --> 00:17:50,871
that just gave that
girl her DTAP booster
432
00:17:50,884 --> 00:17:53,331
and her HPV vaccination.
433
00:17:53,337 --> 00:17:55,136
That is for genital warts.
434
00:17:55,148 --> 00:17:56,941
- Way to go, Chet.
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
435
00:17:56,952 --> 00:17:59,722
Hey, folks, let's hear it for
all these wranglers tonight.
436
00:17:59,726 --> 00:18:01,929
They're workin' extra
hard to bring immunity
437
00:18:01,938 --> 00:18:03,812
to your community.
438
00:18:03,944 --> 00:18:07,743
Alright, folks, we are now
ready for the main event!
439
00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:11,995
This young man has never
had a single immunization.
440
00:18:11,988 --> 00:18:14,424
- [WALLS RATTLING]
- He says he is an orthodox Jew
441
00:18:14,431 --> 00:18:16,900
and a conscientious objector.
442
00:18:17,042 --> 00:18:19,588
Everyone put your hands
together now for little
443
00:18:19,594 --> 00:18:21,958
Eric "The South Park Piggy" Cartman.
444
00:18:21,965 --> 00:18:24,685
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
445
00:18:24,697 --> 00:18:26,598
Sooouuuiiieee!
446
00:18:26,617 --> 00:18:27,953
[SHOUTS]
447
00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:33,469
- [SQUEALING]
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
448
00:18:33,452 --> 00:18:36,284
ANNOUNCER: There he goes folks!
Dear Lord, he's a slippery one.
449
00:18:36,288 --> 00:18:37,953
[SQUEALING CONTINUES]
450
00:18:42,448 --> 00:18:43,716
[GEARSHIFT SLIDES]
451
00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:45,307
Do you remember we used to come here
452
00:18:45,329 --> 00:18:48,198
and look over the town lights together?
453
00:18:48,424 --> 00:18:49,644
Yeah, so what?
454
00:18:49,667 --> 00:18:51,703
Then you turned into an asshole.
455
00:18:51,721 --> 00:18:54,657
I brought you here to
apologize, Towelie.
456
00:18:54,669 --> 00:18:56,136
I let the money go to my head.
457
00:18:56,159 --> 00:18:57,594
I... I got greedy,
458
00:18:57,616 --> 00:18:59,518
and I started acting like a towel.
459
00:18:59,537 --> 00:19:01,043
I need you back.
460
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:04,096
I need Tegridy back
the way it used to be.
461
00:19:04,107 --> 00:19:06,242
No more harassing home growers?
462
00:19:06,259 --> 00:19:08,061
No more harassing home growers.
463
00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:10,316
No more dealing with
those MedMen assholes.
464
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:11,634
No more MedMen.
465
00:19:11,658 --> 00:19:13,999
No more kissing China's ass?
466
00:19:14,406 --> 00:19:16,602
China's actually a free
and loving country that...
467
00:19:16,611 --> 00:19:17,993
- I'm out.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
468
00:19:18,016 --> 00:19:20,585
Wait! Wait, Towelie!
Come on, I need you!
469
00:19:20,883 --> 00:19:22,500
I'm never working for a company
470
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,658
that's regulated by a
communist government.
471
00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:26,128
Okay, okay...
472
00:19:26,142 --> 00:19:28,073
No more selling to the Chinese.
473
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,965
Then say it. Say,
"Fuck the Chinese government."
474
00:19:32,025 --> 00:19:33,747
[QUIETLY] Fuck. the Chinese government.
475
00:19:33,759 --> 00:19:35,549
I didn't hear you.
476
00:19:35,568 --> 00:19:37,995
Fuck the Chinese government! There!
477
00:19:38,613 --> 00:19:39,849
Well...
478
00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:41,916
you just got your partner back.
479
00:19:42,779 --> 00:19:45,871
[LAUGHS] This is it.
480
00:19:45,873 --> 00:19:47,731
This is the moment that Tegridy Farms
481
00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:49,903
got back on track.
482
00:19:51,819 --> 00:19:54,983
ANNOUNCER: Dear Lord,
we are goin' on 16 minutes here
483
00:19:54,984 --> 00:19:57,286
- and ain't nobody caught this youngin!
- [SQUEALING]
484
00:19:57,294 --> 00:19:59,696
This might very well be a world record
485
00:19:59,702 --> 00:20:01,922
- you're seeing here, folks.
- [SQUEALING CONTINUES]
486
00:20:01,931 --> 00:20:04,297
Get out of my way! Move it!
487
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:07,148
Whoa, whoa, Mrs. Cartman.
Everything is fine here.
488
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,990
It's okay, Liane!
They know what they're doing!
489
00:20:13,197 --> 00:20:15,251
[SQUEALING CONTINUES]
490
00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:17,790
- [MAN GRUNTS]
- [CROWD OOH'S]
491
00:20:17,796 --> 00:20:20,380
Oh, looks like we've got a
concerned parent in there,
492
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,813
tryin' to take issue with
her child's well bein'.
493
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:23,996
??
494
00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:25,654
[SQUEALING CONTINUES]
495
00:20:25,675 --> 00:20:28,011
[GRUNTS]
496
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:29,027
[CROWD OHH'S]
497
00:20:29,054 --> 00:20:30,585
Mooommm!
498
00:20:31,115 --> 00:20:35,373
Leave my son alone!
499
00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:37,790
??
500
00:20:37,797 --> 00:20:39,431
- [SCREAMS]
- [MUSIC STOPS]
501
00:20:39,451 --> 00:20:41,858
[CROWD OHHHH'S]
502
00:20:51,956 --> 00:20:54,458
I know I'm not
the greatest mom in the world.
503
00:20:54,464 --> 00:20:56,500
I do the best I can.
504
00:20:56,510 --> 00:20:58,244
Whatever happens now
505
00:20:58,256 --> 00:21:00,326
is going to be done my way.
506
00:21:00,335 --> 00:21:01,834
Come on, Eric.
507
00:21:05,317 --> 00:21:06,552
Wait, Mom.
508
00:21:06,755 --> 00:21:07,842
No, Eric!
509
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:10,112
No shot, no toy!
510
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,521
What?!
511
00:21:17,272 --> 00:21:19,341
Okay, doctor, I'm ready for my shots.
512
00:21:19,368 --> 00:21:22,066
Eric, I've been speaking
with your mother...
513
00:21:22,366 --> 00:21:24,925
I'm afraid there's some bad news.
514
00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:27,132
Bad news? What are you
talking about? Mom?
515
00:21:27,141 --> 00:21:29,344
Your mother received a
heavy dose of vaccine
516
00:21:29,352 --> 00:21:30,863
that wasn't meant for an adult.
517
00:21:30,876 --> 00:21:33,553
I'm afraid there have been...
side effects.
518
00:21:33,566 --> 00:21:35,707
What side effects? Mom?! Mom!
519
00:21:35,716 --> 00:21:37,699
Mom? Are you here, M... [GASPS]
520
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,402
[SOFTLY] Eric...
521
00:21:42,376 --> 00:21:43,677
[ECHOING] Nooo...
522
00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:45,435
Noooooo!
523
00:21:55,155 --> 00:21:59,115
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524
00:21:59,165 --> 00:22:03,715
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