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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,419
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,259
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,220
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,804
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,015
♪ People spouting,
"howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,806
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:28,351
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,148
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,067
♪♪
11
00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,452
[ Thunder crashes ]
12
00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,237
CRYSTAL:
[ Screams ]
13
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,030
Mommy!
14
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,292
Mommy!
15
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,703
He's gonna get me!
16
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,416
Honey, honey,
who's gonna get you?
17
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,582
The president!
I saw him!
18
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,250
He's gonna get me!
19
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:55,170
Crystal, the president
isn't going to get you.
20
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:56,383
But I saw him!
21
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,048
See what I told you?
22
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,432
It's that liberal school
she's going to,
23
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,809
filling her head
with all kinds of garbage.
24
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:05,063
Sweetie, the president is doing
the best job he can.
25
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,848
Your liberal school
is just trying
26
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,186
to convince you
he's dangerous.
27
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,601
But... But, Daddy,
he's gonna...
28
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:10,859
Unh-unh.
No "buts."
29
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,736
The president is
in the White House,
30
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,444
not here trying
to get you, okay?
31
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:18,030
- Okay.
- All right.
32
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,365
We're having a talk with
that school in the morning.
33
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,997
Goodnight, honey.
34
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:27,327
[ Thunder crashes ]
35
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:34,752
♪♪
36
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,420
Hey! How are
my approval ratings?
37
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,510
[ Screams ]
38
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:41,299
[ Thunder rumbles ]
39
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:42,842
REPORTER: And the latest reports
are now saying
40
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,556
that over a million Canadians
41
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,767
were killed
in the nuclear blast.
42
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,897
The bomb dropped
by the U.S. President
43
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,933
took out the entire city
of Toronto
44
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,319
and fallout is expected
to kill thousands more
45
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,774
in the coming days.
46
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,743
Ike.
47
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,154
Ike,
I'm sorry that I...
48
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,200
'caused a nuclear bomb
to be dropped on Canada.
49
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:07,457
I was just...
50
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,869
You know, I was just trying
51
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,753
to get shows that were toxic
taken down.
52
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,663
You know, those shows
can be really harmful.
53
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,503
Oh, stop being
a victim.
54
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,793
Jesus Christ!
55
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,884
BOB: What I want to know
is what gives you the right
56
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:28,055
to preach your political views
to my children?!
57
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,393
Our daughter
woke up with nightmares
58
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,775
that the president
was going to get her.
59
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,776
Just because
two liberals happen to be
60
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,278
principal
and vice principal
61
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:38,815
doesn't mean
you can brainwash my kids!
62
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,699
Uh, we sort of have
some bigger problems
63
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,155
right now, Mister, uh...
64
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,195
It's White.
Bob White.
65
00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:46,706
You've probably never even
heard of our family, huh?
66
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,538
Well, the Whites have been here
since the beginning!
67
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:50,918
Not that it matters.
68
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,624
'Cause no one cares
about the Whites!
69
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,460
Sure, everyone else
has problems,
70
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,250
but does anyone ever ask
the Whites how they're doing?
71
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,339
Mr. White, we assure you
that we run the school
72
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,379
in a very...
professional manner
73
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,764
and don't let...
personal emotions
74
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,017
get in the way.
75
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,927
Oh, sure you don't!
76
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,312
You know how hard
I had to fight
77
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:10,972
to even get
this meeting with you?
78
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,232
"Oh, who wants
to talk to the administration?"
79
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,813
"Oh, it's just the Whites?"
80
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,069
"Aw, who cares about the Whites?
They're fine."
81
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:20,152
Well, we've just about
had it you...
82
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:24,786
♪ If loving you is wrong,
I don't wanna be right ♪
83
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,662
♪ I don't wanna be right ♪
84
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:30,576
...and, damn it,
we won't be ignored!
85
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,288
I'm sorry. Is anyone else
hearing
86
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,955
"(If Loving You is Wrong)
I Don't Want to Be Right"
87
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,669
Uh, no.
Mr. and Mrs. White,
88
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,381
we promise that we will not
let anything happen
89
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:45,174
that might bring the integrity
of this school into question.
90
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:48,058
Guess that's all the Whites
can hope for these days.
91
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,517
[ Thunder crashes ]
92
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:10,365
Hey!
93
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,828
[ Screams ]
94
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,163
How are
my approval ratings?
95
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,498
It's the president!
[ Screams ]
96
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:19,006
Wait, come back!
What's wrong?!
97
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,384
Still no word
from the president
98
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,510
as his 'Splatty Tomato'
approval rating
99
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,844
drops to
an unprecedented 3%.
100
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,804
This puts the president
four points below
101
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,640
"Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature."
102
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,645
Meanwhile,
the Canadian Prime Minister,
103
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,774
Justin Trudeau, called upon
Canadians to stand strong.
104
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:40,232
Make no mistake, America.
105
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,647
If you do not hand over
your president,
106
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,282
there will be war the likes
of which you have never seen.
107
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,286
Canadians
will rise together.
108
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,038
I call on all Canadians
here and abroad
109
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,450
to stand
with their country.
110
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,290
The U.S. President
must answer for his crime.
111
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,581
And only Canada
can bring him to justice.
112
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:05,299
♪♪
113
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,839
[ Shudders,
whimpers ]
114
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,554
There, there, Tweek.
Everything is gonna be okay.
115
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,640
I saw what I saw, Craig!
You have to believe me!
116
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,555
What's going on?
117
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,473
Tweek's having
a panic attack.
118
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,859
It was real!
He tried to get me!
119
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:20,859
Who did?
120
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,567
The president!
121
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,699
It's just your
imagination, Tweek.
122
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,030
It's not his imagination.
123
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,366
I saw him, too.
124
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,872
You saw the president?
125
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,124
Out by the quarry,
but I didn't believe it.
126
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,909
I said, "How could
this be..."
127
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,329
The president?
I saw him, too.
128
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,668
He had a blue suit
and an orange face.
129
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,674
He kept asking me,
"How are my..."
130
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:46,382
TOKEN: "How are
my approval ratings?"
131
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,968
I saw him, too.
132
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,006
Dude, isn't this all
really familiar?
133
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,391
I saw something
just like this
134
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,678
on that show called
"Stranger..."
135
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,518
"Stranger Things."
136
00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:01,310
"Stranger Things" is the show.
I saw it, too.
137
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:04,069
But wait, isn't
"Stranger Things" just like that movie...
138
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,696
Just like that movie "It."
139
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,573
You saw it, too?
140
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,699
Yeah, I saw it
in the theater.
141
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,533
I saw "Stranger Things"
and "It."
142
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,286
Jesus.
143
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,746
I don't think anyone's
imagining anything.
144
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,627
I think the president
is here.
145
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,163
You kids
get inside somewhere.
146
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:25,549
I have to warn the town.
147
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,130
Ugh!
148
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:30,547
[ Indistinct chatter,
shouting ]
149
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,215
All right, people.
People, please.
150
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,634
We need everyone
to try and stay calm.
151
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,347
How can we stay calm
when the president's
152
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,978
out there
scaring our children?!
153
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,515
Look, we all want
the president out of here.
154
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,433
It's just a matter
of how we do it.
155
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,728
I know you all
want to get rid of him.
156
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,441
That's not true.
157
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:47,981
The Whites still
support the president!
158
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,320
Oh, for fuck's sake,
White, he's running around
159
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,655
eating our pets
and terrorizing our kids!
160
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,570
You think Hillary
would have been any better?
161
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,738
[ Shouting, booing ]
162
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,032
MAN:
Just sit down, Bob!
163
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,165
I'm just sayin'!
I'm just sayin'!
164
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,669
Listen, everyone.
I have a team right now
165
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,454
that's trying to locate
the president,
166
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,123
and I'd like you to hear
from Officer Bright,
167
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,087
who's leading the search.
168
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,170
Hey, folks.
We know you're all concerned,
169
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,634
but I want to assure you that we
are doing everything we can
170
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,174
to track the president down
and have him safely removed.
171
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,435
Since the president was given
a splatty tomato,
172
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,221
he's become very desperate
and very dangerous.
173
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:23,311
If you see the president,
do not approach him.
174
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,522
Do not try
to reason with him.
175
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,654
Most importantly, remember
that this is the president,
176
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,065
so you cannot shoot him.
All right?
177
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,359
You can't even talk
about shooting him.
178
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,822
Don't even...
179
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,830
do any coy satirical takes
on shooting him.
180
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,249
Okay, good.
181
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,876
What we're trying to do here
182
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,912
is just get the president
to go away.
183
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,298
We're gonna be handing out
padlocks like this one
184
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,129
so everyone can lock up
their garbage.
185
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,885
If we don't feed the president,
hopefully he'll just move on.
186
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,466
Are there any questions?
187
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,053
Can we talk about
a friend shooting him
188
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,434
if it's in a sort of
a sarcastic way?
189
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,435
No, no, no.
Now, it's - it's just best
190
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,642
to avoid that kind of talk
altogether.
191
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,102
Remember,
they can do to you
192
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,482
what they did
to Kathy Griffin.
193
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,314
Made her not funny
for 30 years?
194
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,898
That's right.
195
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,654
So best thing is just
lock up your garbage
196
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,737
and see if we can get
the president to go away.
197
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,075
Jesus.
198
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,490
Now kids
are going missing.
199
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,124
We're all
gonna be missing soon!
200
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,580
[ Exclaims ]
201
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,370
Kyle!
202
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,464
It's my fault.
203
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,876
Ike went to go take matters
into his own hands.
204
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,214
I have to find him.
205
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,129
We'll help you.
206
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,638
We'll all help you.
207
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,515
Guys, this could be
really dangerous.
208
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,051
You're not going.
209
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,764
You promised tonight
we'd have a date night.
210
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,645
Darling, this is a little
more pressing than date night.
211
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,898
Oh, great.
212
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,184
So, Kyle's stupid brother
goes missing, and I get fucked.
213
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,853
How come I'm always the one
getting shit on around here?
214
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,772
I don't need anyone
to go with me.
215
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,531
Oh, what's the matter,
Kyle?
216
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,737
Don't want me around
because you had the hots for me
217
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,742
and I shut you down?
218
00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:01,155
I would never have the hots
for the person you are now.
219
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,539
STAN:
Come on, you guys.
220
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,416
Look, we all know what
we're supposed to do now.
221
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,703
We all saw "It"
and "Stranger Things."
222
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,837
We need to get our backpacks
and go out to the woods
223
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,624
and save the town from evil
to some kick-ass '80s' music!
224
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:17,297
♪♪
225
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,681
Hello, joining us
for lunch today?
226
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,307
Uh, yes.
227
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:21,968
We are here with
our student of the day
228
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,431
to reward him lunch
229
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,516
with the principal
and vice principal.
230
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,180
We have
a reservation.
231
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,893
Okay, last name?
232
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:28,933
Woman.
233
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,067
First name.
234
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,194
Strong.
235
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:34,775
Oh, yes, Strong Woman,
here we are.
236
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,111
We have a nice booth
set up for you.
237
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,449
We can't
keep doing this.
238
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,159
People are gonna
see through it.
239
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,665
Is it my fault
that I found
240
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,496
the most amazing, perfect,
beautiful woman...
241
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,534
at work?
242
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,795
Nobody
will understand.
243
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,125
Maybe they will.
244
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,915
We're co-workers
who are in love.
245
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,460
You really think that's
going to bother people?
246
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,129
Well, should we
order now?
247
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:13,695
[ Whistles softly ]
248
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:14,603
RANDY: What are you
doing, Bob?
249
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,443
Aah!
250
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,357
Have you been putting food out
for the president?
251
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,992
No, I was just, uh,
252
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,902
taking these finger sandwiches
to the trash.
253
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,788
We all agreed not to feed him
so he'd go away.
254
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,950
We didn't all agree!
You all agreed!
255
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,039
Nobody asked the Whites
how they felt!
256
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,078
Nobody cares what the Whites
have to say!
257
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,838
Bob, come on.
258
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,794
You have to know it's not safe
to have him here.
259
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,051
In 2003,
Hillary Clinton admitted
260
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,631
to taking funds
for her foundation
261
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,421
from foreign diplomats!
262
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,385
What's that got to do
with anything, Bob? Come on.
263
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,175
It's fucking true!
264
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:47,265
Bob, if Canada finds out
the president is hiding here,
265
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,350
they are going
to nuke us.
266
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,060
He needs to go.
267
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,442
Hillary wouldn't have been
any better.
268
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:56,399
Give me
the finger sandwiches.
269
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,109
Fine!
270
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,024
Go ahead and take
the White's sandwiches!
271
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,534
They've taken
everything else!
272
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:07,165
[ The Chicago Bears'
"The Super Bowl Shuffle" plays ]
273
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,290
♪ We are the Bears
shufflin' through ♪
274
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,497
♪ Shufflin' on down,
doin' it for you ♪
275
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,663
♪ We're so bad
we know we're good ♪
276
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,048
♪ Blowin' your mind
like we knew we would ♪
277
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,459
♪ We're not here
to start no trouble ♪
278
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,252
♪ We're just here
to do the Super Bowl shuffle ♪
279
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,841
Dude, this is
'80s' music?
280
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,223
Yeah. It's Pandora.
'80s channel.
281
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,099
Well, just skip
to the next song, man.
282
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,430
We're trying to get psyched
to destroy evil.
283
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,687
We need better
'80s' music than that.
284
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,143
♪ Gloria ♪
285
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,856
♪ You're always
on the run now ♪
286
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,898
♪ Running after somebody ♪
287
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:43,442
♪ You gotta get him somehow ♪
288
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,077
♪ I think you've got
to slow down ♪
289
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,909
Heidi.
Honey, what are you doing?
290
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,573
This is the place...
291
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:53,540
This is the place where I
ended it all, remember?
292
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,295
This is where
I threw my phone off the bridge
293
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,297
and quit Twitter for good.
294
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,675
I was so different then...
295
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:03,087
so naive and hopeful.
296
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:05,597
Yes, honey, now,
can we get going, please?
297
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,350
I'm sorry! I'm trying to have
a moment here!
298
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:11,728
This is where our whole
relationship started, asshole!
299
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,639
Yes, it's very touching,
sweetheart.
300
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,307
I love you so much.
301
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,693
[ Quietly ] I'm sorry
about this, you guys.
302
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:21,151
I remember feeling
like I had nobody.
303
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,940
Skinny bitch.
304
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:26,155
We need to
keep going, guys.
305
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,239
Don't tell me you haven't gotten
the president out of here.
306
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,078
We haven't gotten
the president out of here.
307
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,788
And there's some worse news.
308
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,703
A bunch of kids
have gone missing.
309
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,997
- What?
- I think we have to assume
310
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,336
that the president has...
eaten them.
311
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,001
[ Cries ]
312
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,760
Why are you here
talking to me
313
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,762
instead of trying
to find the president?!
314
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,845
Don't worry, we're close.
He's out in the woods somewhere.
315
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,385
And we've set up a fox trap.
316
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,178
A fox trap?
317
00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:55,769
[ Mouse squeaking ]
318
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:59,561
[ Insects chirping ]
319
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:00,693
[ Mouse shrieks ]
320
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,445
[ Thud in distance ]
321
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,618
Oh, Fox News...
322
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,249
They'll listen to me.
323
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:16,251
They'll get my side
of the story right!
324
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:21,041
[ Imitates bird call ]
325
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,708
It's a trap!
326
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:23,966
What?
327
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:28,973
It's a Fox trap,
Mr. President!
328
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,134
Oh, thank God
for the Whites...
329
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:39,351
♪ Hold on to the nights ♪
Ike! Ike?!
330
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:44,647
♪ Hold on to the memories ♪
331
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,862
Dude. Come on! This is not
kick-ass '80s music!
332
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,870
"Hold On to the Nights"
Richard Marx. 1988.
333
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,122
Do we really need music?
334
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,203
Yeah! Craig just has
the wrong stuff.
335
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,083
Forget your Pandora.
I'm doing Spotify.
336
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,915
'80s music. 'Kay.
There.
337
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:02,172
♪ I've got Pac-Man fever ♪
♪ Pac-Man fever ♪
338
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,628
Oh, yeah.
That's better.
339
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,588
Can we go please?!
340
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:08,425
♪ I've got Pac-Man fever ♪
♪ Pac-Man fever ♪
341
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:10,806
♪ I'm going out of my mind ♪
342
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:11,840
♪ Going out of my mind ♪
343
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,179
Kyle: Here it is.
344
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,595
[ Door creaks opens ]
345
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,263
Ike?
346
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,306
Wait a minute...
347
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,521
Isn't this the place
you brought me before?
348
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,810
The place you said your friends
smashed your phone
349
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,103
and computer...?
350
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,397
I remember
I felt so bad for you.
351
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,861
We used to sit in the park
and talk for hours.
352
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,776
How come we never do that
anymore?
353
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,569
Oh, fuck. Here we go.
354
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,033
Here we go what?!
355
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,994
You used to be
so nice to me.
356
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,408
You used to be nice to me!
357
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,042
I tried!
358
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,544
But then you started
rolling your eyes
359
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,670
every time I tried to talk to you!
- Ughhh...
360
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,047
He's not here either.
361
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,549
Dude, maybe your brother
362
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:46,879
didn't even go looking
for the president.
363
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,965
You don't understand
Canadians.
364
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,380
They're fiercely loyal
to their country.
365
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:55,016
When Canada is attacked,
they all join in the fight.
366
00:14:55,186 --> 00:15:03,561
♪♪
367
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:11,906
♪♪
368
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:20,373
♪♪
369
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,876
Randy! Randy!
370
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,165
What?
They got him!
371
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,083
They found the president!
372
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,550
We found his hideout.
There.
373
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:36,342
[ Eerie whispering ]
374
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,385
Someone's gotta
go flush him out.
375
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,804
I'll be ready to trap him.
376
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:40,892
I'll do it.
377
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,146
Hey, hey!
378
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,978
Just remember
he's been eating animals
379
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,235
and living like a monster.
Just...
380
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,896
prepare yourself
for what you're about to see.
381
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:52,487
[ Insects chirping ]
382
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,662
Oh, my God!
383
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,044
What the... Principal
and Vice Principal...?
384
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,124
I told you
we couldn't hide.
385
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,539
But...
386
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,252
But you two work together...
[ Gags ]
387
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:12,010
You two work togeth...
[ Vomits ]
388
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,718
[ Vomiting continues ]
389
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,008
Hey, what the hell's
going on?!
390
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,392
They're together!
391
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,052
Who's together?
392
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,846
The principal
and the vice principal!
393
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:26,813
They can't be together!
They're co-workers!
394
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,602
[ Vomits ]
395
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,567
Wait, wait. You mean
he's actually her superior
396
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,949
and they were in there...
[ Gags ]
397
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:37,702
[ Vomiting ]
398
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:44,035
Who would want to put
their penis in a co-worker?!
399
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,953
[ Gags, vomits ]
400
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,837
[All vomiting ]
401
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,590
♪ Playing with
the Queen of Hearts ♪
402
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,752
♪ Knowing
it ain't really smart ♪
403
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:56,013
♪ The Joker
ain't the only fool ♪
404
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,844
♪ Who'll do
anything for you ♪
405
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,553
Oh, my God! Look!
406
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,389
♪ Laying out another lie ♪
407
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,019
These are Ike's
toy binoculars!
408
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,225
He was here!
409
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:05,684
Ike!
410
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,599
I remember
this place too...
411
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,815
This is where you brought me
on Halloween. Remember?
412
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,524
[ Sarcastically ] Yes, darling,
wasn't it romantic?
413
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,280
No!
It wasn't romantic.
414
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,863
There was a witch and you had me
dress up like Gretel and...
415
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,278
[gasps] you were trying
to get me killed!
416
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,538
Sweetheart, you made me late to
the pumpkin patch, remember?
417
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,414
I was hurt.
- You were hurt!
418
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,450
You were the victim.
419
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,790
I'm glad you understand.
420
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,502
Who turned you into this,
Heidi?
421
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,416
Shut up!
Skinny-ass bitch!
422
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,301
You don't know
anything!
423
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,337
Heidi, I think spooky walk
in the woods
424
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,926
is making you lose it
a little bit.
425
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,011
Stan: Guys!
426
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:51,068
I'm seriously dehydrated
and starving.
427
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,318
I'm pretty sick of this shit,
428
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,605
so you better... Aah!
429
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,444
Have we already done
a search of this area?
430
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,328
Maybe Heidi went there
with her boyfriend!
431
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,160
She would have called
by now.
432
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,790
I just talked
to the McKormicks.
433
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,667
They haven't seen Tweek or Craig
since yesterday.
434
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,253
Randy!
435
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,712
Did you find anything?
436
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,630
Sharon... I-I...
437
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,299
What is it?
What did you find?
438
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,718
The... There's...
Ugh...
439
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,057
Tell me!
You have to tell me!
440
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,523
Oh, God.
What did you see?!
441
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,403
You don't want to know.
442
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,690
You have to tell me!
I can take it!
443
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,699
Did you find
our son's arm?
444
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:44,204
Did you find him
torn apart? What?!
445
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:48,913
The principal and vice principal
are, like... together.
446
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:52,124
[ Vomits ]
Aww!
447
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:58,093
[ High-pitched horn blows ]
448
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:03,883
♪♪
449
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:09,681
♪♪
450
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,473
It's the president!
451
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:15,395
♪♪
452
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,528
Ike! Kyle!
453
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,530
Stan, you're okay!
454
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:20,986
Yeah, we're okay!
455
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,527
We got him.
We got the son of a bitch.
456
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,320
Get back!
457
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:29,663
Everyone back! Do it now!
Get over here, family!
458
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,249
Bob, for the love of Pete, our
country is about to go to war!
459
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,583
You wanna know
where there's a war?!
460
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,339
There's a war on
Christmas!
461
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,875
Nobody cares about that!
462
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,384
'Cause guess who
loves Christmas.
463
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,044
The Whites!
464
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,054
At least this man's
trying to save Christmas!
465
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,635
[ Muffled ] That's true!
466
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,766
He's not
saving Christmas, Bob.
467
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:47,972
He's running around,
scaring your kids,
468
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,761
and shitting in the woods.
469
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,898
[ Sighs, sobs ]
Come on, Bob.
470
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,899
What's best for your daughter?
I mean, really?
471
00:19:56,362 --> 00:20:00,151
You piece of shit!
This was all your fault!
472
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,407
You controlled me
and manipulated me
473
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,283
and turned me into this!
474
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,695
Baby, put down the gun,
sweetheart, okay?
475
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,785
I used to be kind.
I used to be caring.
476
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:15,171
But then you... you...
477
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:18,173
No.
Not you.
478
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,176
Me.
I did this.
479
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:25,385
I let being a victim
become a way of life.
480
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,676
If you always
make yourself the victim,
481
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,436
you can justify
being awful.
482
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,187
Eric...
483
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,689
I'm sorry.
484
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,691
I'm breaking up with you.
485
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,069
Honey, don't be
ridiculous.
486
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,230
I've been ridiculous.
487
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,990
I have to learn to stop
feeling sorry for myself.
488
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,447
Heidi, you are not
breaking up with me.
489
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,283
Yes, I am.
It's over.
490
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,540
I'm afraid I can't let you
do that, sweetheart!
491
00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:53,951
Step back!
I'll do it! I swear to God!
492
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,619
It's not gonna work
this time, Eric.
493
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,662
You break up with me,
I will kill myself!
494
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,001
The choice
is yours, Heidi!
495
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,291
Come on, everybody!
496
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:02,300
"Eric,
we don't want you to die."
497
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,927
I'm sorry.
498
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,257
You can be the victim.
499
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:06,296
I can't.
500
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,090
Heidi!
501
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,259
Heidi, I'm gonna do it!
Here we go!
502
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,098
Heidi?!
Are you seriously...
503
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:15,514
[ Screams ]
504
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,432
MAN:
He broke free.
505
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,444
The president
is on the loose again.
506
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,855
He'll be
even more desperate now.
507
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:24,819
It's going to get worse.
508
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:27,279
We can't destroy him,
can we?
509
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,740
I don't know.
510
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,655
I guess...
511
00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:33,243
it's up to the Whites.
512
00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:42,545
♪♪
513
00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:49,181
♪♪
514
00:21:49,231 --> 00:21:53,781
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