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1
00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:11,505
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,419
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,259
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,220
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,804
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,015
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,806
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:28,351
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,148
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:42,829
[ Cellphone ringing ]
11
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:46,536
[ Sighs ]
12
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:47,874
[ Cellphone beeps ]
13
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,505
Yes, Eric?
14
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:54,295
[ Sobbing ]
15
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,510
Eric,
this isn't working.
16
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,926
Heidi, no, please!
17
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,561
Heidi, Heidi,
I would be nothing without you.
18
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,062
Okay?
I'm sorry.
19
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,564
Okay?
Please!
20
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,974
You called me a whore
21
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,858
and pushed me
in front of a car.
22
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,690
Heidi,
I was in a bad mood.
23
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:14,105
I told you... that's
what happens after I eat.
24
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,694
My blood sugar spikes,
25
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,199
and I get all anxious
and then I crash...
26
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,110
Eric, you can't just
keep being mean to me
27
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:20,904
and blaming it
on your blood sugar.
28
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,288
But it...
But it's true, Heidi!
29
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:23,413
It's all my mom's fault.
30
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,916
She feeds me
all this crap,
31
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,075
and my body doesn't know
how to process it.
32
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,039
Mom!
33
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,293
Mom!
34
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,999
Yes, hon?
35
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:32,756
You fucked up my life, Mom!
Fuck you!
36
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,417
How could you feed me
like that, you bitch?!
37
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,006
Get outta here!
38
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:37,920
Eric, if blood sugar
is really the problem,
39
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,057
then you need to change
how you eat, right?
40
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,593
Right. Like, what'd ya...
what'd ya mean?
41
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,227
Eric, every time
I've talked to you
42
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,013
about maybe being a vegan
with me,
43
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,726
you just tell me
vegans are pussies,
44
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,983
but then you try and blame
food and your mom for...
45
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,065
It is the food
and it is my mom, Heidi!
46
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,649
It is!
I wanna be vegan with you!
47
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,940
I need your help to show me how.
Please, Heidi.
48
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,358
I need you right now,
more than ever.
49
00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,571
I want to do this.
Please.
50
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,236
You really mean it?
51
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,154
Yes, Heidi!
That's how much I love you.
52
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:04,618
I'm vegan from now on.
53
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:05,952
All right, Eric.
54
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,334
We'll see how
this goes, okay?
55
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,459
I'll see you tomorrow.
56
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,462
Okay.
Okay, bye, honey.
57
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,543
[ Cellphone beeps ]
58
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,174
♪♪
59
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:18,633
[ Indistinct conversations ]
60
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,467
That dirty whore!
61
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,052
Who does that bitch
think she is?!
62
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,638
Packing my lunch for me?
Fuck her, dude!
63
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,473
Pissed off at your girlfriend
again, huh, Eric?
64
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,013
She's not
a girlfriend.
65
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:30,182
She's a controlling,
manipulative whore!
66
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:31,850
That's enough,
Cartman.
67
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,563
I am so sick
of hearing you
68
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:34,944
call Heidi
horrible things!
69
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,604
That's because
you don't understand
70
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,273
how much it sucks
to be in a relationship.
71
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:39,566
Hey, babe.
72
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:40,824
Oh, hey, babe.
What's going on?
73
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,656
What are you up to?
74
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,617
Nothing, just telling the guys
how awesome it is to be vegan.
75
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,783
That's great.
You wanna come eat with me?
76
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,200
I can explain
what I packed.
77
00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:52,587
Yeah, sure.
That sounds awesome.
78
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,247
I don't get it.
79
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,086
I just really
don't get it.
80
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,750
How is she still
supporting him?
81
00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,214
She loves him,
I guess.
82
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,595
But he clearly
sucks.
83
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:01,880
She has to know
he sucks.
84
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,047
What the hell
is going on?
85
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,807
Well, it's not
our problem.
86
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,262
It is our problem.
87
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,803
This is affecting us...
our whole school.
88
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,973
There's got to be a reason
she sticks by him.
89
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,392
[ School bell rings ]
90
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,936
[ Cheering ]
91
00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,398
Oh, Heidi.
92
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:21,691
Heidi,
you got a sec?
93
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,655
- Oh, hey, Kyle.
- Hey.
94
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,320
Uh, listen, uh...
95
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,409
I-I know you and Cartman
have an anniversary coming up,
96
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,073
and I was just wondering,
you know,
97
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,332
how do you think
he's doing?
98
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,458
As a boyfriend?
99
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,164
Well,
what do you mean?
100
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,625
Well, you know, like,
some of us are thinking that,
101
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:38,462
uh, maybe he's not super
qualified to be with you.
102
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,171
Oh, God.
Not you, too.
103
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,632
Just, like, what are
the things about Cartman
104
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,344
that you find...
remotely redeeming?
105
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,679
Look, don't you think I get it
enough from my girlfriends?
106
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,890
"He sucks, Heidi.
What's wrong with you?
107
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,474
Why can't you admit
he's a loser?
108
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,435
How could anyone
ever go with him?"
109
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,315
I was just
following my heart.
110
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,771
Isn't that what
you're supposed to do?
111
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,106
You don't have
to get defensive.
112
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,361
- I just...
- Who's being defensive?!
113
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:00,897
He's great!
We're doing great!
114
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,906
I didn't make
a bad decision.
115
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,114
I don't need you to stand there
and say, "I told you so."
116
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,278
I didn't say,
"I told you"...
117
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,072
You know, you don't know
what Eric's like
118
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,036
when we're alone,
okay?
119
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:14,043
He's actually
really good to me.
120
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,746
Wow.
121
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:22,385
[ Knocking on door ]
122
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,965
Heidi!
123
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,596
Oh, my God.
You're not gonna believe this.
124
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,348
- What?
- You were so right...
125
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,382
[ Door closes ]
...when you said there were
126
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,892
vegan options
for everything.
127
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,018
Remember how you told me
about Beyond Meat?
128
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,305
Yeah, the vegan meat
that's made
129
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,018
with all vegetables
and plants.
130
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:36,273
Well, I tried it,
and you were right.
131
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,604
You can't even
tell the difference
132
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:38,939
between that
and real meat.
133
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,273
Really?
That's great, babe.
134
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,404
So now I've been trying
all kinds of vegan foods.
135
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,941
You gotta try this.
It's called Beyond KFC.
136
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,360
Oh, wow.
It's all plant-based.
137
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:48,653
Soy protein, and just...
Y-You gotta taste this.
138
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,116
Just try it.
139
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,995
It tastes just like KFC.
140
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,832
I know, right?!
Isn't that crazy?
141
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,246
Like... Like, seriously,
142
00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,755
how could you even tell
that this was vegan?
143
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,133
Try the... try the Beyond
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy too.
144
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,668
They say you can even drink
the Beyond Gravy by itself
145
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:04,926
as like a protein boost.
146
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,255
I don't know about you,
but I could eat this every day.
147
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,601
Yeah, it's really good.
148
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:13,887
Delicious.
149
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,977
[ School bell rings ]
150
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,062
Guys, listen.
151
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,068
I think I know why
Heidi won't admit
152
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,228
Cartman's
a horrible boyfriend.
153
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,941
Dude, are you
still on this?
154
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,731
Yeah!
It's important!
155
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,400
Maybe she's telling
the truth, Kyle.
156
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,409
Maybe Eric really does
love and support her
157
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:30,695
in ways
that we don't see.
158
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,238
You guys!
You guys!
159
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,202
- Have you seen Heidi?
- No.
160
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,459
Well, uh, we've been trying
some different foods lately,
161
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,371
and, uh, Heidi's put on
some pounds, you guys.
162
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,164
Heidi's
getting fat?
163
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,673
Yeah, Token,
don't start ripping on me
164
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,209
for having a fat girlfriend,
all right?
165
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,627
Just try
and be cool about it.
166
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,215
Hey, babe.
167
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,676
Oh, hey, hey, hey, Heidi.
What's going on?
168
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,680
I-I'm not feeling
the best again.
169
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,221
I might see if my mom
can come pick me up.
170
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,230
Pick you up?
That could be tough.
171
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,393
I... I know,
but I just feel bloated.
172
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,186
I think there might
have been something bad
173
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,899
in that Beyond Arby's.
174
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:05,984
Yeah,
well, cool babe.
175
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,568
Maybe you should, uh,
176
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,278
just waddle on down
to the nurse's office.
177
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,693
Can you come with?
178
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,203
Oh, sure.
179
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,206
We have to help
that girl.
180
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,082
Can't you see
what's happening?
181
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,289
Kyle,
it's none of our business.
182
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,669
You're wrong.
183
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,956
In a way...
184
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,422
I think we're all going out
with Cartman right now.
185
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,131
Uh-huh.
186
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,796
Yeah, I understand that,
faggot.
187
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,260
And you should understand
how my balls are gonna taste
188
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,221
when your country
starts needing money.
189
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,851
I don't give two shits
about a treaty.
190
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:36,886
You're a Polish midget.
191
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,144
[ Knock on door ]
Come in.
192
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,941
Uh-huh. Hang... Hang on.
I'm gonna call you back.
193
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,692
Yeah, go fuck yourself,
retard.
194
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,023
[ Receiver clicks ]
195
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,108
Mr. President,
we have a problem.
196
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,648
People are
pretty upset.
197
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,862
Oh, don't tell me
people are still mad
198
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,447
about that nigger thing.
199
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:56,035
It's pronounced "Niger,"
Mr. President.
200
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,823
And it's a country
in Africa.
201
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,708
Ooh, aren't we fancy.
202
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,211
Okay, I don't want
a bunch "Nigers" in Africa
203
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,496
aiding terrorists.
204
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:04,914
Mr. President,
205
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,332
you need to be
a little more careful.
206
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,091
There's
an investigation.
207
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,752
A worker
with ties to Russia
208
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,468
was found
raped and executed.
209
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,678
Raped and executed?
210
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:15,841
Oh, you mean
fucked to death?
211
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,430
Oh, yeah, that was me.
212
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,846
Mr. President, people
are starting to question
213
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,104
your oath
to the office!
214
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,890
My oath to the office
215
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,310
was that I would fuck
everyone to death, remember?
216
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,898
Ooh, I 'member!
217
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,483
- Me, too. I 'member!
- I 'member that.
218
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,148
You guys be quiet.
219
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:31,566
And you guys
just get out there
220
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,655
and put a positive spin
on this whole thing.
221
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,491
How are we supposed to put
a positive spin on it?
222
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,372
It's getting pretty hard
to keep defending you.
223
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,658
Maybe it's time
we put our foot down.
224
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,292
Oooh.
225
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,373
[ Beep, whir ]
226
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,754
[ Door closes, locks ]
227
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,961
Hope you brought
some condoms.
228
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,501
[ Ball bouncing ]
229
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,813
Hello.
230
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,774
I know things have been
difficult between us lately.
231
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,781
I know you think
all boys are sort of pigs,
232
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,657
but just know that
a lot of us boys
233
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:17,411
think girls are amazing
and smart and beautiful.
234
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,321
Not... Not like
hot beautiful,
235
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,831
I mean like
inside beautiful.
236
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,117
I... I'm not saying
you're hot.
237
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,329
You're not...
You're not hot.
238
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,789
I'm not saying
you're ugly.
239
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,000
It doesn't matter.
You're all hot on the inside.
240
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,165
If we could all just see
inside you, it would be hot.
241
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,207
Oh, shit.
242
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:31,751
What do you want,
Kyle?
243
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,260
It's Heidi Turner.
244
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,136
You guys shouldn't
criticize her so much
245
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,762
for going with Cartman.
246
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,389
Why not? Eric Cartman
is a horrible person.
247
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,391
I know!
I-I know that, okay?
248
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,143
Trust me, I hate Cartman
as much as any of you.
249
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,349
But just, give her some space,
you know?
250
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,355
You can't keep saying,
"We told you so,"
251
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,936
because if you make her
feel dumb,
252
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,100
she just doubles down
and tries to prove to herself
253
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,314
that it wasn't dumb.
254
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,446
Why do you care?
Do you like Heidi?
255
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:53,856
No!
256
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,775
Oh, my God.
He so likes Heidi.
257
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:56,567
Obvi.
258
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,327
No, I don't!
259
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,283
Do I?
260
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,454
Hey, Kyle!
261
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:05,834
Hey, I was thinkin' about
what you said...
262
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,461
how we should all help Heidi
break up with Eric?
263
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,088
You're right.
It's our moral obligation.
264
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,841
Yeah, no, we're not
getting involved in that.
265
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:13,967
Oh, we're not?
266
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:15,503
Yeah, no,
yeah, I, uh...
267
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,546
I think we need
to stay out of it.
268
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,135
Oh.
Okay, then.
269
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:22,973
Cartman, can we talk?
270
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,432
Sure, Kyle.
What's up?
271
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,643
I just... I hope that
maybe you can realize
272
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,182
what you have with Heidi
273
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,817
and... and just try
to be good to her, okay?
274
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,979
Kyle, let me tell you something
about relationships.
275
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,397
There's always two sides.
Okay?
276
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,406
You compromise,
she compromises.
277
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,033
Sometimes you criticize
each other,
278
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,990
but it's all part of trying
to make each other better.
279
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,404
Some day, maybe you'll
have a girlfriend
280
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,446
and you'll understand.
281
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:43,410
Oh, here she comes.
282
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,576
[ Beating drum ]
Boom-baba, boom-baba!
283
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:48,995
Clear the hallway,
everyone!
284
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,003
Heidi's comin' troo!
285
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,214
Wha... What are you
doing, Eric?
286
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,966
I was just practicing marching
bass drum for my buddy Kyle.
287
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,252
It's his favorite.
288
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,510
Oh, okay.
289
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,296
Um, are we still on
for lunch?
290
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,010
You betcha.
Can't wait.
291
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,800
Okay.
See ya.
292
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:06,220
[ Beating drum ]
Boom-baba, boom-baba, boom!
293
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,892
♪♪
294
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,560
Some concern
295
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,774
over the president's competency
again today.
296
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,985
It was during
a Middle East peace conference
297
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,571
when the president referred to
the people of Saudi Arabia
298
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,236
as "a bunch
of dirty sand Nigers."
299
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,824
Though the comments
seem divisive,
300
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,455
Speaker of the House
Paul Ryan
301
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,333
says he's sticking
by his president 100%.
302
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,787
Reporter: Speaker Ryan,
it's the anniversary
303
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,046
of the president
being elected.
304
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,048
How do you think
he's doing?
305
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,425
Well,
what do you mean?
306
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,176
He's great.
We're doing great.
307
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,133
A lot of people judge him
and just see the negative.
308
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,138
People don't know how great
the president can be
309
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,799
behind closed doors.
310
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,469
They don't get to see
all his good qualities.
311
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:50,265
Uh-huh. And is that semen
on your black eye?
312
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,182
Oh! No, I-I, uh...
I tripped on a doorknob!
313
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,976
That's just...
That's doorknob cum.
314
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,072
You doing okay,
Heidi?
315
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,163
I keep thinking
Eric's going to change.
316
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,042
[ Sighs ]
Heidi...
317
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,502
People like Cartman,
318
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,009
they always make things
someone else's fault.
319
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,717
We all wrongly see ourselves
as the victim sometimes,
320
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,507
but Cartman sees himself
as the victim all the time.
321
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,846
He'll always find someone
to blame for his shortcomings,
322
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,728
and because of that,
he's never gonna change.
323
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,810
Before we started
going out,
324
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,100
I was
in a really bad place.
325
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:37,361
I felt pushed away
by society.
326
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,237
Then this guy came along
327
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,898
who told me all the things
I wanted to hear,
328
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:43,738
and I just went
with it.
329
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,619
Does that make me
a bad person?
330
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:46,995
[ Rihanna's "Unfaithful" playing ]
No, Heidi.
331
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,828
Good people make bad decisions
every day.
332
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,618
I've been defending him
for so long.
333
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,286
I don't know how
I'm gonna face people
334
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,875
if I finally give up.
335
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,587
♪♪
336
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,547
♪ Story of my life ♪
337
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,211
♪ Searching for the right ♪
338
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,552
♪ But it keeps avoiding me ♪
339
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,136
♪ Sorrow in my soul ♪
340
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,676
♪ 'Cause it seems that wrong ♪
341
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:12,346
♪ Really loves my company ♪
342
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:15,891
♪ I don't wanna
do this anymore ♪
343
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,062
♪ I don't wanna
be the reason why ♪
344
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,277
♪ Every time
I walk out the door ♪
345
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,864
♪ I see him die
a little more inside ♪
346
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:29,121
♪ I don't wanna
hurt him anymore ♪
347
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:33,330
♪ I don't wanna
take away his life ♪
348
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:38,715
♪ I don't wanna
do this anymore ♪
349
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,340
[ Muffled ]
Please, Heidi!
350
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:41,216
[ Sobbing ]
351
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:44,345
♪ Whoa ♪
352
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:47,757
♪ Anymore ♪
353
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:51,268
[ Knocking on door ]
354
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:54,350
[ Crying ]
355
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,561
Hi...
356
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:57,690
Hi...
357
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,147
Hi... Hi... Hi...
358
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:04,565
[ Doorbell rings ]
359
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,951
Hi... Hi... Hi...
360
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,328
What do you want?
361
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:13,207
He-He-He-Heidi broke up with me,
Token.
362
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,333
[ Whimpers ]
363
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:16,710
So?
364
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,871
I have nothing now, Token.
365
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,335
She was my whole world.
366
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,922
C-Can I just stay here
with you please?
367
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,961
What?! Why?!
You still have a house!
368
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,552
I know how you feel now,
Token.
369
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,387
To be pissed off
at the world.
370
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,722
To feel completely screwed over
by society.
371
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:33,976
I totally get it now.
372
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,934
I wanna do what you guys do
373
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,440
and go disrespect the flag
and flip cars over and stuff.
374
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:45,364
[ Doorbell rings ]
375
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,650
Token, pleeeeease.
376
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,443
I'm sorry for everything!
377
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,112
I really understand now
how you guys feel.
378
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,407
Please, what time
is your family gonna go
379
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,041
disrespect the flag tonight?
380
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,826
- I wanna go with.
- Get outta here!
381
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,836
- What's going on?
- Nothing, Mom.
382
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:03,090
Heidi broke up
with meeeee...
383
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,842
Token, he's freezing.
Come on in out of the snow.
384
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,379
Thank youuuuu...
385
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,592
No!
386
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:14,642
Okay, we're safe to talk.
387
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,178
It's not safe!
388
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,063
Nowhere's safe,
don't you understand?
389
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,814
We're all about to
get killed!
390
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,601
Shh! Keep your voices down!
Look at this?
391
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,066
What are
all these numbers?
392
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,980
The latest approval ratings.
393
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,150
I've been researching
our own independent poll.
394
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,660
The president is tanking.
395
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:35,413
These numbers are so low
that we might just have an out.
396
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,870
Well, don't you guys
see what this means?
397
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,001
I don't know anything,
I'm just a turtle.
398
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,914
It means that the swing voters
are turning against him.
399
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,673
It's those people who matter.
400
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,209
Those are the ones who can
finally turn this thing around!
401
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,219
And then we don't have to
get killed!
402
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,301
We can't let the president
know about this.
403
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,431
- Just let him...
- What are you guys talking about?
404
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:54,887
No, nothing!
405
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,017
- Nope!
- Nothing, Mr. President.
406
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,428
Oh, okay...
407
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,221
Just having a little chat
or something?
408
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,106
It's an opinion poll,
Mr. President.
409
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,811
Your numbers are down,
410
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,817
and I wanted to show you
so you could do something!
411
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,603
Oh, you bitch!
412
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,693
I was the one who researched
the poll, Mr. President!
413
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,198
Let me see that...
414
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:13,611
Huh...
Isn't that interesting.
415
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,324
But it's not a problem.
416
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:18,036
See, I know something
about societal psychology
417
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,041
that you three turd balls
don't.
418
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,702
Everything's gonna be fine.
419
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:25,589
[ Sniffling ]
420
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,843
So...
421
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,048
You guys about done
with the soup?
422
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,838
Don't you like it,
Eric?
423
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,256
Well, yeah, no,
it's great.
424
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,675
It's just... well,
what time do you guys
425
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,343
usually go out and disrespect
the flag and stuff?
426
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,386
- What?
- Oh, no...
427
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,305
Don't tell me you guys
already disrespected the flag
428
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,848
and flipped over cars today?
Did I miss it?
429
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,482
What the hell
are you talking about?
430
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,359
I told you
not to let him in.
431
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,737
Please, I don't know what to do
with all this anger and hurt!
432
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,114
I'm sorry your girlfriend
broke up with you, Eric,
433
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,150
but maybe
you'll get back together.
434
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:56,365
No, no, we've broken up before,
but this time is different.
435
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,531
I can tell.
Something's changed with her.
436
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,244
Heidi won't even
answer my phone calls.
437
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,250
Heidi?
Turner?
438
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,753
- The Turners' daughter?
- Yeah...
439
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,788
I thought she was
with that Kyle Broflovski kid.
440
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:11,760
- What?
- I saw them at the park today holding hands.
441
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:14,967
[ Upbeat, whimsical music plays ]
Kyle.
442
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,133
Kyle?
443
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,393
Kyle!
444
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,474
Kyle, Kyle!
445
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,355
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle!
446
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,061
Kyle!
447
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:29,444
♪♪
448
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:31,401
Kyle...
449
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,488
Kyle!
450
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,278
[ Laughing ]
451
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:43,576
♪♪
452
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:48,714
♪♪
453
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:50,545
Kyle...
454
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,175
Yeah. Kyle.
455
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,385
[ School bell rings ]
456
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:03,144
Cartman: Kyle!
457
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:06,478
[ Western music plays ]
458
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,108
I should have known.
459
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,859
You lying snake!
460
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,395
Cartman, I didn't mean
for things to happen
461
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:12,813
the way they did.
462
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,481
Did it bother you
that I was happy?
463
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,651
Is that why you took her
from me, Kyle?!
464
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,238
Cartman, you weren't happy.
Shut up, Kyle.
465
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:19,903
All you did was bitch about her
all the time!
466
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,071
You're not gonna talk your way
out of this one!
467
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,990
This is the end, Kyle.
468
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,749
It's you or me!
469
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,831
- Come on, Cartman, I-
- You took everything from me!
470
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,245
Stop it.
471
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,288
All you've ever done
is work to ruin my life!
472
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,503
Well, now I'm gonna
finally fight back!
473
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:34,043
Fuck him up, Eric!
474
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,085
Aah!
[ Grunts ]
475
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:37,676
Fuck you, Kyle.
476
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,339
I'm sorry, Cartman.
477
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,430
You just have to accept
that Heidi's moved on.
478
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,685
[ Girls giggling ]
479
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:50,191
Guys, I just wanna say
here's to Heidi!
480
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,353
Welcome back
to the land of the living!
481
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,112
[ Cheering ]
To Heidi!
482
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,615
[ Chuckles ] Thanks, guys!
Thanks for taking me out.
483
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,150
- This is really fun!
- No worries!
484
00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,239
We're just glad you
finally came to your senses!
485
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,949
Yeah! No kidding!
486
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,489
We seriously thought you might
marry that piece of shit!
487
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,407
[ Laughter ]
488
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,749
Well, you know he... he actually
had some good qualities too.
489
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,537
Uhh, yeah, like what?
Racism?
490
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,251
Or the sociopath part?
491
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,792
[ Laughter ]
492
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,426
Yeah, I mean,
no offense, Heidi,
493
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,178
but what the fuck
were you thinking?!
494
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,679
Guys, she's admitted
she made a mistake.
495
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,590
You make a mistake
on your homework.
496
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,884
What Heidi did was more like
a momentary loss of all sanity.
497
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,474
[ Laughter ]
498
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,105
It was just
what I believed in.
499
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,732
Don't worry, Heidi,
500
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,017
we're not gonna keep telling you
we told you so!
501
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,481
But we told you so!
[ Laughter ]
502
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,362
The only thing
I wanna know is
503
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,615
how did you bring yourself
to actually kiss him?
504
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,571
Girls: Ew!
505
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,987
Milly: Can you imagine? Eric
Cartman's breath on your mouth?
506
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,156
- Ew!
- Ugh!
507
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,574
[ Imitating Cartman ]
Heidi, come here.
508
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,037
I want to kiss you
with my tongue!
509
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,327
- Ew!
- [ Laughs ]
510
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:54,123
[ Sad music plays ]
511
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:59,967
♪♪
512
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,425
Hi, Eric.
513
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,215
What are you doing here?
514
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:06,135
I don't know.
I think I...
515
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,144
I just wanna make sure...
516
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,805
you're doing okay.
517
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,850
I want you to know...
I'll always care about you.
518
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,609
[ Sniffles ] That's good to know
'cause, like,
519
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,145
nothing helps more
when you're down
520
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:17,438
than knowing that your
girlfriend who broke up with you
521
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,698
might care.
522
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,574
I'm sorry
that I've hurt you.
523
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,737
I think maybe I am just stupid
and I don't know what I want,
524
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,655
and it ends up
hurting people.
525
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,869
No...
526
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:31,660
You need to know something,
Heidi...
527
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,499
None of this
is your fault.
528
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:34,959
- But I'm the one who...
- No.
529
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:38,625
Heidi,
none of this is your fault.
530
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,669
There's stuff
I never told you.
531
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,428
It's time...
532
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:43,588
It's time I did.
533
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,097
[ Doorbell rings ]
534
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,607
- Hey.
- Hey! You all set to go?
535
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:04,071
I wanted to talk to you
first.
536
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,077
Okay, sure.
537
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,331
Kyle, I've been under
a lot of stress lately,
538
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,288
and it was all making me
really confused.
539
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,327
Yeah,
that's understandable.
540
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:17,418
I was being manipulated,
and I didn't even see it.
541
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,253
I never do.
And...
542
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,259
I don't think you saw it either,
Kyle.
543
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:22,920
What do you mean?
544
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,840
I've come to realize that
it's not my fault,
545
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:27,678
it's your fault, Kyle.
546
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,684
You made all this happen.
547
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,811
- Made me question who I was...
- But, Heidi, I thought...
548
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,940
Shh. But it's okay.
You can't help it.
549
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,567
It's how you were raised...
what you were taught.
550
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,320
My heritage is Irish,
so I'm prone to being moody.
551
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,653
And you're heritage...
well, you know...
552
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,488
You can be a little sneaky
sometimes
553
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,197
and not even realize it.
554
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,078
I'm sorry, Kyle, but...
555
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,243
everybody's trying to live life
the best they can.
556
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,956
It's hard enough
557
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,792
without your people
always trying to get ahead.
558
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:02,751
Dude...
559
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,840
did she just call me
a dirty Jew?
560
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:17,557
♪ Happy anniversary to you... ♪
Cha, cha, cha.
561
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:21,103
♪ Happy anniversary to you... ♪
Cha, cha, cha.
562
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,569
♪ Happy anniversary,
Mr. President... ♪
563
00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:28,827
♪ Happy anniversary to you ♪
564
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:31,283
[Applause ]
Congratulations, Mr. President.
565
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:34,495
Looks like many more years
of the same are to come.
566
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:37,752
Oh, I don't think so...
567
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:40,790
I think the next three years
are going to be even better.
568
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,173
[ Laughs ]
569
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:45,256
[ Nervous laughter ]
570
00:21:45,306 --> 00:21:49,856
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