All language subtitles for South Park s17e05 Taming Strange.eng

Students, I would love to
introduce you all

to the future, mkay?

Starting today, our school

will be operating entirely
on Intelilink.

Now whenever you need to see
the school nurse

or talk to me, your counselor,
you can simply sign up

using this simple integrated portal.

Mkay.

You can use a computer
or any of the Intelilink panels

which are located
throughout the school.

Let's say you're in
the cafeteria, mkay,

and you start coughing up blood
and need to see the nurse.

You just click on school clinic...

Mkay? See nurse...

Mkay?
Respiration problems.

? All night long

okay.
I must be in the wrong menu, mkay?

You can see you can control
the sound system as well.

It's all integrated and smartlinked,

and this is a great idea, mkay?

- Let's look at the message board.
- Message board.

Message board.

Here you can easily write
messages to each other

or to the faculty, mkay?
For instance, here we go.

Here's a message from Kyle's
little brother, Ike Broflovski.

Mkay, little Ike says,
"my brother is a homo."

Ike made a little drawing of
his brother too.

Drew a nice picture with a nice bird

hanging off Kyle's forehead.
Mkay, that's nice.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

That's a nice crane,

nice whooping crane coming off
Kyle's head there.

That's not a crane.
It's a dick and balls.

Mom, Ike did it again.

I don't know
what's going on with him,

but it's like he hates me.

Oh, Kyle, your little brother
is getting older.

He's not a baby anymore.

I know, but he posted a message of me
with a schlong on my head.

It's natural, bubie.
Part of getting older

is finding ways to assert
your independence.

You know.

Why don't you go and try to talk to him.
You can win him over again.

Hey, Ike.
How's it going?

Get out of my room, Kyle.
I'm on my computer.

I just wanted to see if maybe you
wanna do finger paints with me?

Do I look like I want to do
fucking finger paints?

Look at the fucking zits on my face.

Ike, I just want us to be
friends again.

Then stop harassing me, bro.

You don't know what it's like to
be a baby going through puberty.

I don't know whether to watch
Yo Gabba Gabba

or go out and tame some strange!

Yeah, let's watch
Yo Gabba Gabba like old times.

? Come on, let's dance

? Go, go, go Toodee

? Go, go, go Toodee

? Come on, let's dance

? Go, go, go, brobee

Dancey dance is my favorite.

It always has been.
See? This is nice.

? Go, go, go Foofa

? Go, go, go Foofa

? Come on, let's dance

Who would you rather fuck,
Foofa or Toodee?

- What?
- I wanna fuck Foofa.

? Come on, let's dance

I wouldn't want to fuck Toodee.

She's a dyke.
You can tell.

But Foofa, man...
I bet she's got some sweet strange.

I don't even know
what the fucking Muno is.

Ike, is that chewing tobacco?

What, you gonna fucking narc
and tell Mom?

No, I just don't think it's healthy.

That's 'cause you don't
understand shit!

I knew this was a bad idea!

I'm gonna go watch
Yo Gabba Gabba in my roomsies.

Come in, mkay.

Mr. Mackey, can I talk to you?

Mkay, have you set up
a counseling appointment

- on Intelilink?
- No.

Okay, that's fine, that's fine.

We can use Intelilink
to see what's available.

Let's see. Counseling request...

Students...

Make the appointment.

Mkay. Oh, whoops.

Okay, students...
Make... Oh, here we go.

Make appointment.

Mkay, here we go.

Mkay, what do you need
counseling with?

It's my little brother.

He's really changing,
and I feel like...

Mkay, I'll click on family issues.

What time did you want counseling?

- Right now.
- Mkay...

And what's your brother's
intelligrated smart name?

I don't know.

All right, I can do
a look up for the name.

Go back.

Main menu.

Oh, damn it!

Okay, now back... Set...

No, set appointment.

Okay. Speakers off.

Mkay, uh... Mkay, what is
your smart name, Kyle?

What?

Sorry, Kyle we're gonna need
to go somewhere else.

Let's find an Intelilink panel
somewhere.

Okay, let's see, lights, mood...

Start counseling timer.
Okay, there we go.

Okay, we got it.

Okay, now, Kyle, you have some
concerns about your little brother?

He's just changing a lot.

He walks around angry,
telling me I'm stupid,

and all he talks about is sex.

Well, it sounds like
he's hitting puberty.

Yeah, he just seems so young.

Well, your brother is Canadian.

Perhaps Canadian puberty
is a little different.

Why don't you educate yourself
about Canadian puberty,

and it can be something
you and your brother

can actually do together, mkay?

This is the first time
I've been able to do counseling

and go to the bathroom
at the same time.

Intelilink is amazing.

Hello, young people,

and welcome to the most
fascinating time of your life.

You have braved
the trials of childhood

and now you are reaching
Canadian puberty.

By now you've probably noticed
some changes in your body.

For instance, when you fart
your dick gets hard.

Other physical changes are
happening to your body as well.

If you're a boy, you may notice
that your testicles ache.

Or if you're a girl, you may notice

a tingling sensation in your strange.

This stupid, bro.
I already know all this.

Let's just give it a chance, Ike.

Going through Canadian puberty,

you may notice that your voice
is starting to change as well.

You're saying things like,
"hey, buddy," and, "hey, guy,"

because now that you're older,
you're discovering

that someone who was once
your buddy is now your guy.

And someone who you used to call guy

is quickly becoming your friend.

But now let's discuss how a man
and woman make love.

First, a man and a woman
fall in love.

Then the man farts
on the woman's strange...

Filling the woman's strange with air

so the woman can queef
in the man's face,

and the baby is born.

The entire process can take up
to six months...

It's what?

That's not how babies are born?

What's semen?

Then why did my wife queef
in my face?

She said it was to...

Then why would sh...

I'm going to get to the bottom
of this.

Make me look like an idiot, will you?

Hey, you told me you
queefed in my face

because that's how babies are born.

- I was being sarcastic.
- Being sarcastic?

I just told a million Canadian
teenagers that's how it's done.

I was angry because
you never listen to me

because I wanted you to go
with me to therapy,

- and you never go.
- Fine! You want to go

with you to therapy?
Fine!

Totally embarrassing and degrading.

- She queefed right in my face.
- Maybe you should spend

less time at work making
public health films

and more time at home.

What the fuck is going on?

You're fucking stupid, Kyle.

I don't know what else to do, dude.

No matter what I try, me and Ike
seem to drift further apart.

He doesn't ever want
to play with you anymore?

He doesn't want me near him.

That sucks, dude.

- What?
- I said, that sucks dude.

Oh, thanks.

Okay, there we go.

That's got the speakers off.

What were you trying to do, Kyle?

I was trying to make an appointment

to see the principal about
getting excused on Friday

so I can take my brother
to see Yo Gabba Gabba live.

Mr. Mackey, can he just
go talk to the principal?

No, this is gonna work.
I called Intelilink,

and they said they were sending
over an engineer.

Is this classroom 7?

- Yes.
- My name's Cody.

I'm your smartnician.
You're having some

intelliproblems
with your astute links?

Yes, a student's trying to make
an appointment to see the principal.

Uh-huh, well, here's the problem.

Your smart names
aren't intelligrated.

- Oh, I see.
- If you want to have

those intelligrated with Easylink,

you might want to upgrade your
system to the silver package.

I needed the silver package?
Can we do that?

Let me call my supervisor
on the Intelliphone.

Hey, Ike?

Get out of my room, Kyle.
I'm playing trucks!

Ike, I'm sorry, but I couldn't
get us out of school Friday.

I can't take you
to Yo Gabba Gabba live.

You promised.

I couldn't get in
to see the principal, Ike.

What am I supposed to do,
go see it myself?

I'm a little baby... who's going
to hold my fucking hand?

You don't give a shit
about how I feel.

- Ike, I do, I...
- You love pushing me around.

Is that what you wanna do, Kyle,
kick the baby?

I'm ready, bro.
Come on, Kyle, kick the baby.

Come on, bro, kick the fucking baby.

Let's see you try it, wuss!

Don't bite people

Don't ever bite people

Hey, Muno, what should we do now?

Let's play a cool, cool, trick.

All right!

Who out in the audience has a
cool, cool trick to show us?

What's your name, little boy?

My name is Ryan.

And what is your cool, cool,
trick, Ryan?

My cool, cool trick
is I can jump in the air.

- Yay!
- Oh!

All right, Ryan.

Let's see you jump in the air.

Way to go!

And what's your name, little boy?

Ike Broflovski.

Do you have a cool trick?

Yes, for my cool, cool trick
I'mma tame Foofa's strange.

Tame my what?

I can tame Foofa's strange, bro.

Uh... All right.

Let's see our friend Ike
tame Foofa's strange!

Ike, no, stop!

Oh, I see, you're actually...

Wait!
Oh, my God, what are you doing?

No, no, no!
What are you doing to Foofa? No!

Now you listen here, little boy.

It is never okay to take off
your clothes

and grind on another person.

- No, that's wrong!
- Don't do that!

We're so sorry.

Please forgive my little brother.

He's going through puberty.

A little young for that, isn't he?

- That's what I thought.
- This is stupid, bro.

Foofa shouldn't be limiting
herself to little kids.

She's fucking fine, dude.

What you did
was very traumatic for Foofa.

Isn't that right, Foofa?

- Foofa?
- He's right, Plex.

We're getting older.

I don't want to do the little
kid thing the rest of my life.

Foofa, what you talking about?

It's time for us to start
playing to older people.

Maybe we need to be edgier,
have sex appeal.

- Foofa, no!
- I'm an artist.

And if all I ever do is play
to kids, then I'll be a joke.

I have to move on.

Oh, God, what has this
little boy done?

I try not to think about it, Rick.

I try to just forget about it
and move on, but I can't.

I mean, she queefed right in my face.

Have you and your wife seen
a therapist together?

Yes, we went, but I can't
erase the memory

of my helpless face
being queefed on like that.

Who's to say she won't do it again?

Don't you think this has
something to do

- with your new job?
- What do you mean?

There's more to this, Terry.

A lady never queefs
in her lover's face

without some major cause.

You started as the Canadian
minister of health,

and three months later,
your wife queefed in your face.

There's a connection.

I tried to make Canada's
health care system better.

What could that have to do
with your wife?

Terry, I'm your friend,
and I'm not just your friend.

- I'm also your buddy.
- Thanks, guy.

And I'm telling you
there's more to this

that you think, and if you want
to save your marriage

and your face,
you need to figure it out quick.

Mr. Mackey, so far the school
has spent

$22,000 on the Intellilink system,

and so far it's been
an unmitigated disaster.

Yeah, but, see, the problem is

not everyone is signed on to it yet.

They can't sign on,
because every time they try

they make sprinklers go off.

I know that Intellilink has
had some... Hiccups, okay?

I've hired a new faculty member

whose sole responsibility

will be to oversee
the Intellilink system

and make sure it runs smoothly.

I want you all to meet Pat Conners.

- Hello, everyone.
- Don't hello us, Pat!

This system you're responsible
for now isn't working out.

So what the hell are you going
to do about it?

Oh, well, I'm just sort of
getting acclimated

- to the situation, and...
- Getting acclimated?

Do you know how much money
we wasted on this thing?

How about you take
some responsibility?

Get the hell out of here, Pat.
You're fired, get out.

Well, how the hell we going to
clean up pat's mess?

I guess we got no choice, mkay.

We'll have to upgrade to
the Intellilink gold package.

- Oh, no.
- It's a $10,000 upgrade,

but it should clean up
all of pat's mistakes.

Mr. Mackey, let's be clear.
Intellilink was your idea.

You should just admit
it was a bad one

and stop being so defensive.

Well, it's good to be
a little defensive

around you, Miles, mkay?

Let's not forget your wife
died of an "accident"

while you were "drinking"
on a "hike".

"Mkay"?

- Hey, now listen...
- No, you listen to me!

Intellilink is a great idea,

and we just need the goddamn
gold package.

We're doubling down.

You're watching E Entertainment News.

God knows why.

She's all grown up,
and she wants you to know it.

From kid show star to sex symbol,

Yo Gabba Gabba's Foofa
is ready to rock.

She's been seen out partying,
photographed smoking pot,

and now Foofa has announced
a raunchy performance

on the MTV Video Music Awards.

Foofa's new manager claims
the MTV performance

will be one for the record books.

Foofa's got that nice shaved strange

that you just want to get in
and tame the second you see it.

The Video Awards
are at 8:00 p.m. tomorrow.

Oh, this is exciting.

Told you it'd go over well.

Excuse me, but Ike has homework

he's supposed to be doing.

Shut up, Kyle.
Just ignore my little brother.

I'm your big brother, Ike!

Answer the door, twerp!

Can I talk to you?

I'm sorry but right now...

Foofa!

- There she is!
- Hey!

Foofa, what is this
about you going on

the MTV Video Awards?

I'm done being a kiddy star.

Foofa, you don't have to show
your strange

to get attention.

You don't get it
because you're a robot, Plex.

All right.
You won't listen to us,

but maybe you'll listen to our
special guest,

Sinead O'Connor!

- Yay.
- Rah rah!

Don't do it, Foofa.
Don't sell out your strange

to those corporate bastards.

Screw off, Sinead O'Connor.

No one gives a crap about you.

Don't show your strange on TV

? Don't show your strange

Your strange is for your husband

? Not for the world to see

Don't show your strange on TV

I'm looking for a boyfriend.

Looking for a boyfriend.

Will you get out of my
living room, please?

Hello.

Have you ever had someone
you love queef in your face?

- What?
- I'm sorry.

I'm calling everyone in
the Canadian health care system

to find out if they're pleased
with their health care.

- Is this Ike Broflovski?
- No, this is his brother.

Your brother receives
his medication from us,

and we just want to be sure
he's satisfied with the service.

Satisfied with...
Wait a minute, what medication?

Before this meeting continues,

I should have you be aware that
my face has tested positive

for queefy sauce.

I'm sorry, but I don't really care.

I just want to know what medication

my little brother has been
getting you from and why?

People all over the world get
their medication from Canada.

Yeah, but something's wrong
with my brother,

and it might be your fault.

That's impossible.

The Canadian health care
system is completely integrated

and streamlined with Intellilink.

You use Intellilink?
Oh, my God!

Will you check his records, please?

Sure, no problem.

Now, what's your brother's
Canadian medicare smart name?

I don't know.

Try "strange tamer".

Strange... tamer.

Ah, yep, there it is.

Ah, yes, here we go.

I see your little brother
has a constipation problem

and has been taking a daily
laxative since last may.

Ah, yes, I'm afraid Intellilink
mixed that up,

and your brother's been receiving

large doses of hormones
that were supposed to go

to an athlete in the northeast.

Are you saying that Ike
has been given regular doses

of hormones because
of an Intellilink screw up?

- Yes, that's right.
- That system

is totally screwed up and does
nothing but wreak havoc!

It's fine! It works fine!
Just give it time!

God, you sound like my wife.

My... wife.

That must be it.
Don't you see, Terry,

that health care integration system

has made you defensive and hostile,

and your wife's been
putting up with it.

And... that's why
she queefed in my face.

Excuse me!
If my little brother

has been getting
some athlete's hormones,

then who has been getting
Ike's medication?

Tom Brady
looking sluggish again today.

Not sure what his problem
has been lately.

Yeah, definitely not looking
as strong and virile

as he has in the past.

Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut hut...

Aah... hike!

Brady steps back to pass.

He's got an open man
at the 40 yard line.

Whatever is wrong with tom Brady

just seems to be getting worse.

Go, Broncos.

Okay.
There we go.

Your students can buy school
lunches now,

but they won't be able to get grades.

They have to be able to get grades.

Well, what you probably want to do

is upgrade to Intellilink platinum.

No!
There's no more upgrade, mkay?

I just want this to work.

What exactly do you mean by work?

I just want students to be
able to make appointments

to see the counselor,

be able to see the school nurse

in the easiest,
most streamlined fashion!

Oh, you want the centurion package.

That's where we take all
the Intellilink panels

and rip them off the walls
and burn them.

Then we wipe all the computers
of Intellilink software,

and you never deal with us again.

All right.

Upgrade me to the centurion package

right away.

All right, sir,
here a clipboard you can use

for students to sign up
for counseling,

and I want to thank you
for using Intellilink.

The MTV Video Music Awards
will be back

with a performance from
Yo Gabba Gabba's Foofa

singing Pound My Sweet Strange.

Two minutes, Foofa.

Thanks.
Oh, my, here we go.

Ike, wait.

Get out of here, dude.

There's been a mistake.
You don't understand.

No, you don't understand, wuss.

Why can't you just let me grow up?

Why do you keep harassing me?

Because you're my little
brother, goddamn it,

and even when I'm 50 and you're 45,

you're still gonna be
my little brother.

All right, y'all, here comes
our next big act.

Ike, I don't care if you want
to grow up.

I just want to be by
your side while you do it.

Give it up for the sexiest
bitch on earth.

It's Foofa!

Come on, Ike.

Ike?

He's right, Foof.
Part of growing up

is rebelling, but I'm gonna get older

whether I like it or not.
So why push it?

I think I'm gonna let it
happen naturally.

- Yay!
- Yay!

Foofa?

? Come on, come on

? Pound my strange

Pound it like this,
pound it like that

It was a mistake.

What?

Trying to reform Canada's
health care system

and being too stubborn
to admit it wasn't working...

Even when my wife said the
system was too complicated.

I wouldn't listen!

Oh, Terry, I was trying
to get your attention.

I'm sorry I queefed in your face.

I deserved it.

Anyone who thinks streamlining
health care

into an integrated computer
system would go smoothly

deserves a giant queef in their face.

Thank you, my lady.

So Intellilink is gone, my lord?

Yes, I've upgraded
to the gold package.

Within no time, Canadians everywhere

will be getting
their correct medications

and going back to normal.

- Ike?
- Kyle.

It's Dora The Explorer!

Come on, let's climb the mountain.

It sure is!
You want me to watch it with you, Ike?

Yay.

We made it to the top.

Oh, man, I wouldn't mind
hitting that.

I bet she's got that hot
Puerto Rican strange.

Yeah, I bet she does.

Yay!

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