All language subtitles for South Park s14e04 You Have 0 Friends.

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,009 # I'm goin' down to South Park # 2 00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:11,886 # gonna have myself a time # 3 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,596 # friendly faces everywhere # 4 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,098 # humble folks without temptation # 5 00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,599 # I'm goin' down to South Park # 6 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,142 # gonna leave my woes behind # 7 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:22,063 # ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor # 8 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,233 # headin' on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind # 9 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,156 # come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine # 10 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,788 - I've got more friends than Kyle! 11 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,415 I've got more friends than Kyle! 12 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,583 - How the hell do you have more friends than me? 13 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,335 - 'Cause people think I'm cool, dude. 14 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,379 - How many friends do you have, Kenny? 15 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:47,714 - 63. - What? 16 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,007 How the hell do I only have 37 friends? 17 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,468 - Aw, are you guys doing that stupid Facebook stuff again? 18 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:53,845 - Stupid Facebook stuff! 19 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:55,513 - Why are you guys in here wasting your time? 20 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,265 We're supposed to be out playing video games! 21 00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:59,726 - Stan, you don't get how cool Facebook has become. 22 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,977 You can message your friends, 23 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,103 play yahtzee with your friends, 24 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,396 even start your own virtual farm 25 00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:04,605 and have your friends visit it! 26 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,399 - Dude, who the hell wants to play yahtzee? 27 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,443 - Stan, we know it's hard to get started, 28 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:09,777 but we have a little surprise for you. 29 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,864 - Yeah, dude, we made you your own Facebook page! 30 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:14,824 - Surprise! 31 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,243 - No! I told you guys I don't wanna be on Facebook! 32 00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:19,328 - Yeah, but now you can be friends with all of us! 33 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:20,413 - Yeah! 34 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,665 - I'm not collecting friends and I'm not building any farms. 35 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,167 I don't want to get sucked into this! 36 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:25,168 - All right, fine, dude, 37 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,294 you don't have to add any friends. 38 00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:27,754 You can just be like kip drordy. 39 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,839 - Who? - Kip drordy, the third grader. 40 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,382 He's got no Facebook friends. 41 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,468 And he's had a profile for more than six months! 42 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,678 - Aw, gee that's so sad. 43 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:38,181 Everyone should have one Facebook friend. 44 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,391 - You guys are retarded. I'm playing Xbox. 45 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,351 - There's really people out there 46 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,437 without a Facebook friend in the world? 47 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,230 That's so wrong. 48 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,483 Ahhhhhhhh! 49 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:31,526 Hahahaa! 50 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,069 Ahhahahahah! 51 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,946 Yeah! 52 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,241 Mom! Dad! I made a friend today! 53 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,200 - Kip! Really? 54 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,285 - You did? - Yeah! 55 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,914 - Oh, son, that's wonderful! - What's his name? 56 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:45,998 - Kyle broflovski! 57 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,041 He's a student 58 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,168 and his interests include video games and reading! 59 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,545 - Oh, is he a nice boy? 60 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:51,671 - Oh, he's the best, mom! 61 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,589 He has a green hat, and he wants the world 62 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,049 to stop talking about ninjas! 63 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,175 Ooh, I need to tell him 64 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,385 what I'm currently thinking about! 65 00:02:57,553 --> 00:02:58,886 What am I currently thinking about? 66 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,728 - Hey, Stan, I was on my computer at work 67 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:09,897 and saw that you have a Facebook page now. 68 00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:12,233 - Yeah, dad, I was kind of forced to. 69 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:16,112 - Well, so, are you gonna add me as a friend? 70 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,114 - No, dad. 71 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,032 I really don't want to get more into it. 72 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,410 - Oh, okay. 73 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,914 So I'm--I'm not your friend, then? 74 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,542 - Dad, you are my friend. 75 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,420 - But you just don't want to add me as a friend. 76 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,130 - Dad, it's just a stupid click of a button 77 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:35,214 that takes two seconds. 78 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,925 - Right, but you don't have the two seconds or-- 79 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,261 - I just want to do my homework. 80 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,679 - All right, fine. 81 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:47,226 - Just to be clear, you and I are not friends? 82 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,061 - All right, dad! I'll add you! 83 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,438 - Oh, cool! Okay. 84 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,275 - Mom, dad! My best friend, Kyle, 85 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,694 he went to the dentist yesterday and got two fillings! 86 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,446 And today he's wondering if hurt locker 87 00:03:58,614 --> 00:03:59,947 really deserved the Oscar! 88 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,408 - That's great, kip! - Yeah! 89 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,744 - They sure are getting to know each other. 90 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:05,620 - It's amazing. 91 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,122 You know kip spent the morning at the boy's farm? 92 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,207 - His friend lives on a farm? 93 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,793 - Think I'll add some more pigs. 94 00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,671 Ooh, maybe I should put in another field of corn there. 95 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:18,049 There we go! Nice. 96 00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,304 29? No, I have 30 friends-- 97 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,891 hey, what the hell is-- 98 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,435 oh, no! Oh, shit! 99 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,650 - Am I a joke to you? 100 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,069 - What? 101 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,528 - I just wanna know is that all I am? 102 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,947 A big joke? 103 00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:43,407 - Um, no? 104 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:46,035 - You do have a Facebook page, Stan! 105 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,287 - Aw, God damn it. No, I just got that because Kyle-- 106 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,498 - I saw your page, Stan. Relationship status? 107 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:51,916 Single? - Relationship status? 108 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,834 I didn't even pay any attention to-- 109 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:54,710 - you like being single, Stan? 110 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,879 So that you can use Facebook to find other girls? 111 00:04:57,047 --> 00:05:00,049 According to your Facebook page, we aren't friends. 112 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,635 - All right. I'll add you as a friend--I'm sorry! 113 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:04,845 - And you better change your relationship status 114 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,889 to in a relationship! - How? 115 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,684 - By editing your profile under basic information! 116 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,519 - Okay! I'm sorry! 117 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,438 Edit profile. 118 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,273 Basic settings. 119 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,316 Jesus Christ. 120 00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:21,362 - Stan, why won't you be friends with grandma? 121 00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:23,155 - Aw, dad, I just really 122 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,740 don't want to pay attention to this thing-- 123 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:25,658 - grandma is in the hospital, 124 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,243 and you won't even be friends with her! 125 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,328 - All right, dad, I'll add grandma as a friend. 126 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,538 - That's better. 127 00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:32,123 Oh, and I sent you a funny picture, 128 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,874 and you didn't respond to it. 129 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,044 - Dude, fuck Facebook, seriously. 130 00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:39,755 What the hell is this? Podcast? 131 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:43,217 - Welcome to Cartman's incredible podcast! 132 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,136 Hello fellow facebookers. 133 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,680 Get you more friends! 134 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,432 Looking around Facebook today, 135 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,059 we see that since adding loser kip drordy as a friend, 136 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,145 Kyle broflovski's stock is plummeting. 137 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,230 He had 55 friends just two days ago. 138 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,523 He's down to just 1 1 this morning. 139 00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,275 Run to your Facebook account and delete Kyle 140 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,776 from your friends list because he is poison, 141 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,029 and I don't see him making a comeback any time soon! 142 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,280 You're going to want to dump Kyle, 143 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,574 and if at all possible, add Clyde Donovan. 144 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,242 Why? Birthday! 145 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,994 That's right, Clyde has a birthday coming up, 146 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,246 and his mom is taking everyone to casa bonita. 147 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,373 If you don't have Clyde as a friend, 148 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:15,541 you're going to want to add him 149 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,959 because Clyde's numbers are about to go way up. 150 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,085 And now word on the street! 151 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,920 Recording: Word on the street! 152 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,048 The rumors are now becoming more than that. 153 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,008 Jimmy and bebe have agreed to share their friends! 154 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,093 That's right, it looks like we are about to have a merger! 155 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:27,219 Merger! 156 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,429 - So if you're a friend of Jimmy's, 157 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,930 you're about to luck into about 90 chick friends. 158 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,348 And as we all know, chick friends are worth 159 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,892 almost triple what dude friends are. 160 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,518 That's all the time I have for today. 161 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,229 Remember, update that profile and steer clear of Kyle! 162 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,110 Can I come in? 163 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,862 - Sure, dude. 164 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,949 - Dude, what's the matter? 165 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:52,578 - I don't have any friends. 166 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,538 - What? 167 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,582 - I mean, I do, but-- 168 00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,252 ever since I became friends with that kip drordy kid, 169 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,379 a bunch of my other friends have started ignoring me. 170 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:05,508 It would be fine except for my farm is starting to shrink. 171 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,010 I know that I should just dump kip as a friend, 172 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,970 but that's such a terrible thing to do, and-- 173 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,847 I'm sorry. I'm just so confused. 174 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,808 I really need a friend right now. 175 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:16,227 - Okay, dude, I'm here for you. 176 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:17,978 - Okay, so then get on Facebook 177 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,730 and fertilize my crops. 178 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:21,398 - No. 179 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:22,566 - Please! 180 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,902 My farm hasn't expanded in three days! 181 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,362 - Dude, I've already had to become friends 182 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,280 with all of Wendy's friends and my grandma's friends! 183 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,449 I do not wanna start doing all the farming stuff, too! 184 00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,159 I'm not getting sucked into that! 185 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,161 - You don't get sucked into it! 186 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,955 You don't get sucked in at all! 187 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,415 Please! 188 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,667 - Fuck! 189 00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:42,795 Okay. It says I'm at your farm. 190 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,589 - Okay. So now just click on the little soil button 191 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,843 and then maybe put a sign up to comment on my farm. 192 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,471 Okay. Now I can read the sign you put up. 193 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:56,517 - Okay. It says you and I are now very good friends. 194 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,853 - Yeah, we're very good friends! 195 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,021 We're very good friends, Stan! 196 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,235 - So, kip, you spend more time with your buddy Kyle today? 197 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:07,194 - Oh, yeah, dad! 198 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,487 We've been having the best time! 199 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,156 I showed him all the pictures of me 200 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,866 in that silly Halloween costume last year! 201 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,160 - Oh? What'd he say about those? 202 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,202 - He laughed out loud! 203 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:16,871 And then he was rolling on the floor laughing! 204 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,165 - Sounds like you boys had a ball! 205 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:21,667 - Mom, dad, I'm all done. Can I go hang out with Kyle 206 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,252 and tell him all about what I had for dinner? 207 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,629 - Well, it's a little late, but it is Friday. 208 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:26,922 - I think the more time you spend 209 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,340 with your little friend the better. 210 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:31,010 - Wow, thanks! - Have fun and be safe! 211 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,519 - Ate pork chop for dinner. 212 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,688 Had nice applesauce too! 213 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:01,040 Ha, ha! Yeah! 214 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,293 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 215 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,882 - "I think you look cute in your bunny costume." 216 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:11,717 - What? 217 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,761 - "I think you look cute in your bunny costume?" 218 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,804 What is that supposed to mean? 219 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,514 - I have no idea! 220 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:20,017 - That's what susan92 wrote on your Facebook wall! 221 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,311 You give girls pictures of you in bunny outfits? 222 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,854 Fuck you! 223 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,607 - Susan92 is a friend of my grandma's 224 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,609 and she's 92 years old! 225 00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:32,446 - Oh, hey, Stan! 226 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,573 I'm your friend Brian through your Uncle jimbo? 227 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,408 Hey, I commented on your status, 228 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,952 but I haven't heard back from you. 229 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,828 Could you give me a poke sometime soon? 230 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,330 - Fine. 231 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,166 - Hey, kid! 232 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,669 How come you ignored my friend request? 233 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,879 - I don't know you! 234 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,882 - Yeah, well, I'm just a guy that gets ignored, I guess! 235 00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:13,320 - Stan, grandma said she poked you 236 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,406 and you haven't sent a poke back. 237 00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:16,949 - Dad, I didn't even want to do this. 238 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,951 - Stan, poke your grandma! 239 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,956 - No. No! 240 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,791 Screw this! You know what? 241 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,127 Edit profile. Update profile. 242 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,670 There! Delete profile. 243 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:32,047 "You have requested to delete for Facebook profile. 244 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,590 "If this is an error, hit cancel. 245 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,884 "Proceed. Delete your profile. 246 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:36,969 "Are you sure? Yes/no? 247 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:37,970 Yes. 248 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:39,221 "Are you totally sure?" 249 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,639 Yes! 250 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,646 - Can't let me do that? What are you talking about? 251 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,150 - I'm gonna have to put you on the game grid. 252 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,153 - Delete profile. "Are you totally sure? 253 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,446 Yes/no"-- yes. God damn it, yes! 254 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,573 Delete! Delete! Delete! 255 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,037 Hey, dad? 256 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,749 Dad? 257 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,525 Oh, dude, what the fuck? 258 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,527 - All right, get moving, profile. 259 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,279 - Profile? I'm not a profile! 260 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,781 - Ignore. - Aah! 261 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,494 - Tom Davis says hello to Linda green's profile! 262 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,914 - Linda green likes how tom Davis has changed his status. 263 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,249 - Excuse me. My name is-- - ignore. 264 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,751 - Hey, could you tell me how I-- 265 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:53,003 - ignore. - Aw, God damn it. 266 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,671 I got sucked into Facebook! 267 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:55,964 - I don't know what to do. 268 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:59,218 I just can't seem to get my friend numbers to go up. 269 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:00,844 I'm desperate. 270 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:03,472 That's why I came to you. 271 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,182 - You're very smart, Kyle. 272 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,100 But the truth is, 273 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,851 as long as you have that kip drordy loser 274 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:08,560 as a Facebook friend, 275 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,771 people view your friendship as a liability. 276 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:11,855 You gotta dump him. 277 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,108 - I can't do that. I'd just feel too bad. 278 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,692 - Well, Kyle, then what you have to do 279 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:16,985 is go outside the normal circles 280 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,570 and try to make friends with people 281 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:19,738 who've never heard of kip. 282 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:20,906 - I've been trying! 283 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,032 But I just don't know 284 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,534 how to make totally new friends on the Internet. 285 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,202 - It's not as hard as it sounds, Kyle. 286 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,954 Have you ever heard of chat roulette? 287 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,956 - No. What's chat roulette? 288 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,000 - Yup. Finding new friends is easier today than ever before. 289 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,460 We just set ourselves up on webcam, 290 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:35,712 and then the computer will randomly put us 291 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,214 with one of the 50,000 people online 292 00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:38,841 also doing chat roulette. 293 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,509 - Hey, that's kind of cool. 294 00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:41,510 - Uh-huh. All right. 295 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,095 Let's see who our first chat partner is. 296 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,346 Connect. 297 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,348 - Aw, that's some dude jacking off! 298 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,724 - Oh, yeah, you get those sometimes. 299 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,309 We'll just click to the next person. 300 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,352 There we go. Hello? 301 00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:51,895 - That's just a guy's penis, too! 302 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:53,147 - Okay. Let's try this one. 303 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:56,483 - Dude, I don't want to see a bunch of guys' penises! 304 00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:57,526 - Hold on, Kyle! 305 00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:58,986 This is seriously an amazing gathering place 306 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,320 where people from all over the world 307 00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,072 can share their thoughts and ideas! 308 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,784 Okay. That's a dude jacking off, but... 309 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,828 Okay, dude jacking off. 310 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,288 Penis, penis... 311 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,039 Penis, penis, penis. 312 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,458 Ah, here's a guy. 313 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,293 Hey, dude, how's it goin? 314 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,003 - Hey. - This is my friend Kyle. 315 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:17,588 He's looking for some new friends. 316 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:18,881 - Oh, yeah? 317 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,300 - Oh, he's taking out his penis. 318 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,177 Okay. Next guy. - Dude, screw this. 319 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:24,386 I don't want to see anymore! 320 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,679 - Kyle, this is the way the world works! 321 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,181 If you wanna find some quality friends, 322 00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:29,224 you can wade through all the dicks first! 323 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,187 - Excuse me. 324 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,522 Could you please tell me what the hell is going on? 325 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:36,690 - No, you aren't my friend. 326 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,233 Would you like to be my friend? 327 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,402 - No, I seriously don't want any more friends. 328 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:41,403 - Ignore. 329 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,198 So anyway, I really like taking long walks in the summer, 330 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,282 you know, because... 331 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,034 - Okay, okay. I'll be your friend. 332 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,119 - Confirm. 333 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,374 Ooh, tom Davis is thrilled to have become powerful 334 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,501 by adding a new friend! 335 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,085 Here are some pictures of my dog. 336 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,795 And here he is in some silly outfits. 337 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,547 Can you comment on these? 338 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:01,798 - Ugh. 339 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,592 - Move it, profile! 340 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,885 - Uh-oh. - Why "uh-oh"? 341 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,887 - They're taking him to the gaming arena. 342 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,847 - Looks like I'm gonna be down a friend. 343 00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,604 - You are about to face each other in combat! 344 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:19,274 You will play the game for the amusement of the users. 345 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,156 Let the game commence! 346 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,165 - Yahtzee? 347 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,501 - One round only! Begin! 348 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,302 - Uh, I'm going to count fives, my five box. 349 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,513 - Can't we play on speeder bikes or something? 350 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,431 - Play, profile! 351 00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,311 - Yahtzee. 352 00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,941 Aah! 353 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:04,486 - Dude jacking off, dude jacking off! 354 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,822 That's a dude jacking off. 355 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,907 - That's it, Cartman. I'm out of here! 356 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,410 Chat roulette is no way for me to find new friends! 357 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,828 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Kyle! 358 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,413 Here's a nice little Jewish kid! 359 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,206 - Hey. Hi there! - Hello. 360 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,959 - Hey, nice to meet you. My friend Kyle is a Jew, too! 361 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,836 - Oh. That's cool. I was starting to think 362 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,588 this was nothing but dudes jacking off. 363 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,132 - Hey, so do you wanna be Facebook friends? 364 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,509 - Well, sure, if you'll come and visit my farm. 365 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,011 - Heck, yeah, I'll visit your farm. 366 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:30,429 You should check mine out too! 367 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:31,805 - Honey, where's kip? 368 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,390 I haven't seen him all day. 369 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,601 - No, he's been out spending the whole day 370 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,560 with his best friend Kyle. 371 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,687 I think they're at the movies now. 372 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,111 - Ah! Ha ha haaa! 373 00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,195 Ahghhghgh! 374 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:51,033 Whoaaa! Ha ha ahaaaaa! 375 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,288 - Troublemaker! 376 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,499 You were not supposed to survive the game of yahtzee! 377 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,335 You have made things complicated! 378 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:04,129 - I've made them complicated? I don't even want to be here! 379 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,506 - That's not what your profile said. 380 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,799 - My profile? 381 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,176 God damn it, my Facebook profile 382 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:10,719 has taken on a life of its own! 383 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:11,678 Where is it? 384 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,097 - Your profile is one of the most powerful 385 00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,515 in all of Facebook. 386 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:17,059 You cannot stop it now. 387 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,685 - Oh, yeah? I can try. 388 00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,231 - After him! 389 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,154 - Okay, I fed the pigs. 390 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:32,741 Now I definitely should water some fields. 391 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,034 Oh, wow, cool! 392 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:36,286 That Jewish kid put up a sign on my farm! 393 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,622 "Hey, Kyle. Really like your farm." 394 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,666 Oh, awesome! 395 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,959 What the hell is that? Stan? 396 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,754 - You're an asshole, Kyle! 397 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,297 - What? 398 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,091 - What's the one thing I told you? 399 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,009 That I didn't want to get sucked into Facebook! 400 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,719 This is all your fault! 401 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,806 - Dude, what are you doing? 402 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,182 - What's it look like I'm doing? 403 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,392 I found your farm on Facebook 404 00:16:58,434 --> 00:16:59,893 so you can help me deal with this bullshit! 405 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,770 You gotta go check my profile status. 406 00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,480 - Profile status? 407 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:04,940 - Just bring up my Facebook page 408 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,775 and see what it says my status is! 409 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,487 - Well, Stan I have to harvest my crops before it's too late. 410 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,614 - Dude, fuck your crops! 411 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,324 - Dude! Dude, okay! 412 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,493 Stop! I'm sorry! 413 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:19,579 It says that you are currently hosting 414 00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:21,873 an online chat party for all your friends. 415 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,000 - Where? - Cafeworld. 416 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,585 - Son of a bitch. 417 00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,423 - An online chat party for all his friends? 418 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,342 Dude, I should get over there! 419 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,098 - Jesus Christ. 420 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,102 - Randy marsh is at work right now. 421 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,186 Work is boring! 422 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,980 Randy marsh is at work right now. 423 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:45,981 Work is boring! 424 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,191 - Butters stotch is enjoying Stan's chat party! 425 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:51,069 - Herbert Garrison likes butter's comment! 426 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:54,281 - Grandma marsh would like to be friends with Kevin Donohue. 427 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,367 - Kevin donahue accepts grandma marsh's friendship! 428 00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,536 - Has anybody seen my stupid profile? 429 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:03,331 - Susan92 has pictures of Stan in a bunny costume! 430 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,293 - Gary Johnson thinks the pictures are fantastic! 431 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,336 - Wow, there's a lot of profiles here! 432 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,629 Kyle broflovski is amazed 433 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,173 Stan has so many Facebook friends! 434 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,633 - Hey, Kyle broflovski is amazed isayah 435 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,594 is also a Facebook friend of Stan's! 436 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,221 - Isayah zordon is deleting Kyle broflovski as a friend. 437 00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:19,222 - What? Why? 438 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,016 - User saw your are friends with kip drordy, 439 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,100 who only has one friend. 440 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:23,643 Kyle broflovski is bad friend stock. 441 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,395 - Aw, no, I'm not really friends with him. 442 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:28,190 - Ignore. - Ugh, that does it! 443 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:30,859 - All right, all right, enough! 444 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,736 Everybody just shut up! 445 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,822 Where is profile Stan marsh? 446 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,492 - Right here. 447 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,165 - Uh-oh. 448 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:49,127 - "I'm sorry, kip, but I really can't be your friend anymore. 449 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,671 "It was a great ride, but I must say good-bye. 450 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,632 "This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, 451 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,093 but ending a friendship is never easy." 452 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,562 - Ha ha ahaaa. 453 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,301 - What do you want from me, dude? 454 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:39,845 - I'm your profile. 455 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:43,682 And as you can see, I am much more powerful than you. 456 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,809 - Damn it! I should have deleted you a long time ago! 457 00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,645 - Why do you think I brought you in here? 458 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:51,147 The fact of the matter is I'm up and running now 459 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:52,524 with almost a million friends. 460 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,442 I don't need you anymore. 461 00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:57,445 I have more friends than you'll ever have in the real world. 462 00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:58,405 - Who cares? 463 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,115 Friends shouldn't be some kind of commodity 464 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,408 for a person's status! 465 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:04,744 - Who is more powerful, the user or the profile? 466 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,997 Let's end this once and for all. 467 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,422 - Let the final battle begin! 468 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,348 - Fuckin' yahtzee again? Seriously? 469 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,818 - What did I tell you? That's a large flush already! 470 00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,695 You don't have a chance in here, user! 471 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:40,071 Your pathetic little-- 472 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,406 - yahtzee. 473 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,282 - What? 474 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:43,867 - Yahtzee. Sixes. 475 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,536 - No! It can't be! 476 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:47,787 - Yahtzee! 477 00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,039 - No! 478 00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:50,832 Aah! 479 00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:05,221 - Oh... 480 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,519 - Oh, thank God. 481 00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:16,066 - Hey, Stan, my computer says we're not friends anymore? 482 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:18,109 - My Facebook profile went rogue, dad. 483 00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,819 Had to go into the circuitry and do battle with it. 484 00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:22,572 I sent all my friends somewhere else. 485 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,074 - Oh, okay. 486 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,826 So we're--we're not friends then? 487 00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,578 - Fuck off, dad. 488 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:42,926 - Ahhhh. 489 00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:45,220 Ahhahahahahahaha! 490 00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:49,820 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35499

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