All language subtitles for Revenge.Of.The.Nerds.IV.Nerds.In.Love.1994.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian Download
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
da Danish Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese Download
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:22,083 MAN (narrating): In the beginning, God created the universe, 4 00:00:25,375 --> 00:00:27,208 the heavens... 5 00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:31,208 and the Earth. 6 00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:42,750 Then God created the first nerd. 7 00:00:50,959 --> 00:00:53,959 ♪♪ 8 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:07,083 (chattering) 9 00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:15,875 I'm going to take note on your champagne glasses. 10 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:20,250 Check the silver service and make sure that it's properly polished. 11 00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:23,375 Eugene, take this to the kitchen. Make sure the steam tables have arrived. 12 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,166 Check on the tablecloths and make sure they're the right color. 13 00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:31,917 (continues chattering) 14 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,250 Oh, boy. Oh, boy, I don't know. 15 00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:36,709 Aaron, relax. You're driving us all crazy. 16 00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,875 This better be a great wedding. 17 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:42,083 Every political heavyweight from the party is gonna be there checking me out. 18 00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:45,750 Jeanie's wedding is going to be wonderful. Fix your ascot. 19 00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:49,875 How come we never met this guy that Jeanie's marrying? 20 00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:52,583 -What's his name again? -Dudley Dawson. 21 00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:56,750 -Yeah. -Hey, I wonder if he's from the Schenectady Dawsons. 22 00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:59,250 They're a very powerful family back east. 23 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,417 (snaps fingers) I went to school with Cap Dawson. 24 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:05,250 -Talk about your blue bloods. -Isn't it just a little bit strange 25 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:09,000 that Jeanie never brought, uh, what's-his-butt over here before? 26 00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:13,291 (scoffs) His name is Dudley. They only met three months ago. 27 00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:15,458 I know I'd be a shoo-in with the people 28 00:02:15,542 --> 00:02:18,333 if I could just get those old-money blue bloods to endorse my candidacy. 29 00:02:18,417 --> 00:02:20,917 And they'd be damn fools not to, Dad, 30 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,583 irregardless of the fact that you are nouveau riche. 31 00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:31,917 Don't you ever use that phrase in this house! 32 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:37,458 I am not nouveau riche. I am a self-made businessman. 33 00:02:37,542 --> 00:02:40,291 And I'm not your dad. I'm your father-in-law. Get it? 34 00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:44,792 Right. Self-made businessman. Father-in law. I-I got it. 35 00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:47,500 Can we please stop talking about the campaign for a minute? 36 00:02:47,583 --> 00:02:50,667 Focus on Jeanie's wedding. That's what's important here. 37 00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,041 Gaylord's right, as usual. 38 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:58,041 -WOMAN: Hi, everybody. -Jeanie! 39 00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:03,625 -You look wonderful. -Thank you. 40 00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:05,542 I love that outfit. 41 00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:07,834 You do? 42 00:03:07,917 --> 00:03:11,375 -So, you excited? -Oh, yeah. (laughs) 43 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,375 Where'd you meet... Dudley? 44 00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:17,750 Well, at a ham and lima bean cookout. 45 00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:26,208 It was an Omega Mu sorority fund-raiser. 46 00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:28,834 Oh, ho, ho, sure, sure. The... 47 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,875 the Schenectady Dawsons are very big with sororities 48 00:03:31,959 --> 00:03:34,166 and fund-raisers and cookouts. 49 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:35,542 (doorbell ringing) 50 00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:38,667 All your questions will be answered in a moment. 51 00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:40,834 -(knocking) -Oh! 52 00:03:40,917 --> 00:03:43,125 -Booger? -Why'd she call him Booger? 53 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,041 -Baby! -Oh! 54 00:03:47,125 --> 00:03:49,041 Oh, honey. 55 00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:52,417 Oh... buns. 56 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,917 -Give me buns! -(shrieks) 57 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,709 -May I have them, please? -Stop it! 58 00:03:57,792 --> 00:03:59,834 -Give me buns! -Shh! No! Shh! 59 00:03:59,917 --> 00:04:02,709 Moo! Moo! 60 00:04:02,792 --> 00:04:04,208 My family is waiting to meet you. 61 00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:05,500 (groans) 62 00:04:05,583 --> 00:04:07,166 (gasps) Mommy! 63 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:10,542 Tippy! Tippy! 64 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,291 -What happened? -Mommy fainted. 65 00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:16,583 Gosh, are you all right, Mrs. Humphrey? 66 00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:17,583 Yeah, I-- 67 00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,917 She'll be fine. Can I ask you a question? 68 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,709 Are you from the Schenectady Dawsons, railroad money? 69 00:04:22,792 --> 00:04:24,875 -Hmm? -Uh, no. 70 00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:27,750 The Detroit Dawsons. Sewing machine rental money. 71 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:33,291 -There's gonna be an egg. Where's the kitchen? -Oh, to the left! 72 00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:36,250 -Are you all right, Mommy? -Yes, yes, I'm fine. 73 00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:38,750 I don't know what came over me. Oh! 74 00:04:38,834 --> 00:04:40,709 Sewing machine rental money? 75 00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:43,542 My God, he's a nerd! 76 00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:45,291 (all gasp) 77 00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:48,041 A nerd? How can you tell? 78 00:04:48,125 --> 00:04:50,750 There were a lot of nerds at USC. 79 00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:53,959 I can smell a nerd a mile away. 80 00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:57,291 Well, I've heard nerds make wonderful husbands. 81 00:04:57,375 --> 00:05:00,834 And they're smart too. 82 00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:03,750 She's obviously getting even with us for something. 83 00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:08,750 -Beef! We need beef! -In there! 84 00:05:11,917 --> 00:05:14,333 That was kind of a rocky start with your family. 85 00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:16,458 Oh, everything's fine. My mom's great. 86 00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:18,583 I'm sure she's just overwhelmed from all the excitement. 87 00:05:18,667 --> 00:05:21,834 -Well then, you don't think it's because they don't like me? -Booger, I love you. 88 00:05:21,917 --> 00:05:26,166 Well, yeah, I know you-- I got it! I know you do. 89 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:29,458 But I was just afraid maybe your "mishpukin'" was thinking you were "mistookin'." 90 00:05:29,542 --> 00:05:32,083 They're gonna love you too, Booger. I know they will. 91 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,500 -(exhales) -Oh! 92 00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:37,458 Here you go, Mrs. Humphrey. Put this on the--Hey! 93 00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:40,125 -Oh! -(gasps) 94 00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:43,333 BOOGER: Don't move. Don't move. Excuse me. That was clumsy. 95 00:05:43,417 --> 00:05:47,834 -Ahh... -There we go. I've got it. 96 00:05:47,917 --> 00:05:50,333 Can I speak to you a second, Jeanie? 97 00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,041 Sure. 98 00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:58,834 Thank you, dear. 99 00:05:58,917 --> 00:06:01,041 It stops the swelling. 100 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:07,500 Are you pregnant? 101 00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:10,041 Pregnant? No! 102 00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:12,917 You mean, you don't have to marry him? 103 00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:14,083 Daddy! 104 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:18,000 I would like you to come with me to a cult deprogrammer. 105 00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:21,667 J-J-J-Just show up there and be open. That's all I ask. 106 00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:25,041 I just can't believe you're saying this. 107 00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:26,208 (whimpers) 108 00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:28,583 Wh-wh-where are you going? 109 00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,917 This is good stuff I'm telling you. 110 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,917 (sobbing) I love Booger! 111 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,250 And I'm gonna marry him no matter what you think! (sobbing) 112 00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:39,917 Jeanie? 113 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,709 -Sweetheart, you're overreacting. -(door slams) 114 00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:45,500 -What did you say to her? -Nothing. 115 00:06:45,583 --> 00:06:48,125 Nothing. We just had a little conversation, that's all. 116 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:52,250 Ahh... Can't we all just get along? 117 00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:55,875 She comes home with a guy who looks like he came out of a vending machine, 118 00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:58,875 -and I'm the one who's wrong. -TIPPY: Jeanie. Jeanie. 119 00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:04,500 What a world. 120 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:06,959 Hey! 121 00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:10,625 Hi. I'm Jeanie's sister, Gaylord. 122 00:07:10,709 --> 00:07:13,792 And this is my husband, Chip. Chip Medford. 123 00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:17,125 Great idea. Having the wedding on Valentine's Day. (laughs) 124 00:07:25,208 --> 00:07:28,250 Are you sure your best man knows where we are located? 125 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,875 Oh, he'll find it all right. 126 00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:35,291 As a matter of fact, he will be here in exactly 127 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,291 seven seconds. 128 00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:40,458 Five, four, 129 00:07:40,542 --> 00:07:43,709 three, two, one. 130 00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:50,333 Right on the button. Lewis! 131 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,125 Booger! 132 00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:55,333 Pull in here! 133 00:07:55,417 --> 00:07:58,542 (honks horn) 134 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,709 (hydraulics brakes hissing) 135 00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:13,083 (both laughing) 136 00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:16,625 -Oh, Booger's wedding. -Yeah! 137 00:08:16,709 --> 00:08:19,750 -(singsong) ♪ Booger's gettin' married ♪ -Oh, come on. Stop it! 138 00:08:19,834 --> 00:08:21,834 Hey, what do you think of the truck? 139 00:08:21,917 --> 00:08:24,291 Well... well, I would expect nothing else from the king of the nerds. 140 00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:26,166 -It's got everything. -Where's Betty? 141 00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,792 Oh, follow me. 142 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,709 Would you like to see my unborn fetal son? 143 00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:34,000 -Yeah. -This is a state-of-the-art, remote-activated, 144 00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:37,500 microwave-transmitted, bilingual, five DB-gain, 145 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:40,625 semi-duplex fetal monitor. 146 00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:43,667 I can check on the development, the vital signs of my unborn 147 00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:46,375 fetal son from anywhere in the universe. 148 00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:48,166 (laughs) Look. 149 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,166 There's his tinkler. 150 00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:52,875 Just like the old man, huh? 151 00:08:52,959 --> 00:08:55,250 (both guffawing) 152 00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:07,041 -Booger! -Betty! 153 00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:11,667 -What is this? -An Airbus A300 WhisperJet 154 00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:16,375 could land right on our truck, and Betty and our unborn fetal son wouldn't even be hurt. 155 00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,667 -Lewis? -Hmm? 156 00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:21,041 Could you let me out of here? 157 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,834 -Oh, sure, Betty. -Here. Let me give you a hand. 158 00:09:23,917 --> 00:09:25,750 -Thank you. -(hisses) 159 00:09:25,834 --> 00:09:27,917 (all laughing) 160 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,583 Hey, so, Booger, how are things going with the in-laws? 161 00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:33,208 Well, things were going okay, 162 00:09:33,291 --> 00:09:35,709 until my mother-in-law passed out and cracked her head on the coffee table. 163 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:36,875 BOTH: Oh. 164 00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:40,291 And I don't think my father-in-law likes me at all. 165 00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:41,542 BOTH: Oh. 166 00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,709 He's one of those pretentious, 167 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,834 hoity-toity, nouveau riche types. 168 00:09:47,709 --> 00:09:50,041 -He may be anti-nerd. -(both gasp) 169 00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:52,750 Oh, no. 170 00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:55,250 Why does this always have to poke its ugly head out? 171 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:58,750 Indeed. We need to nip this in the bud. 172 00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:03,417 Booger, I want you to know I take my job as best man very seriously. 173 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:06,875 And I will take care of everything, including Jeanie's old man. 174 00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:09,792 Never fear, Skolnick's here. 175 00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:12,375 -I love you, you big galoot. -(laughs) 176 00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:15,083 (laughs) I feel better already. 177 00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:18,208 -(horn honks) -Hey, here comes the gang. 178 00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:21,750 - ♪ Take one down pass it around ♪ -Hey, guys! 179 00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,583 ♪ No bottles of beer on the wall ♪ 180 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:28,375 (whooping, chattering) 181 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,834 -Lamar! -Party, party, party! 182 00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:37,166 Booger! 183 00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:39,625 (laughing) 184 00:10:39,709 --> 00:10:42,792 -(camera shutter clicks) -Nerds are here! 185 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:45,041 -Takashi! -Booger! 186 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:50,125 -Lewis! Hi, Lewis. -Takash, how are you? Good to see you. 187 00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:53,333 Oh, Betty! Oh, ho, ho! Betty so big. 188 00:10:53,417 --> 00:10:56,583 -(laughs) -Oh, look at you! 189 00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:59,792 -Oh, Judy! -Uncle Lewis! 190 00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:02,750 -Harold! Good trip? -Ah, ho, it was great. 191 00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:05,792 You know, the bus driver said we were the first group ever 192 00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:08,500 to make it all the way through "A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall?" 193 00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:11,333 -(laughing) -BOOGER: Yes! Hey! 194 00:11:11,417 --> 00:11:14,667 It's been delightful motoring with you. 195 00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:17,500 Trevor, how was the trip? 196 00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:19,625 I only got carsick twice. 197 00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:22,208 Oh, ho, ho, ho! I'm proud of you, laddie. 198 00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:24,041 (both speaking Spanish) 199 00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:29,542 I am--I am just so thrilled you all showed up. 200 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:34,458 -BOTH: Stan! -Hi, guys. 201 00:11:34,542 --> 00:11:37,375 -Stan! (laughs) -Booger! 202 00:11:37,458 --> 00:11:40,041 -Great to see you. -You too. 203 00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:42,250 Oh, Betty, you're gonna make such a pretty mom. 204 00:11:44,041 --> 00:11:46,125 Stan, you are such a nerd. 205 00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:49,375 Yeah, I sure am. I'm selling software up in Silicon Valley. 206 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,583 -Ah, that's fantastic. -Yeah, I've never been happier in my whole life. 207 00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,458 (both guffawing) 208 00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:58,041 (chanting) 209 00:11:58,125 --> 00:12:01,250 Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! 210 00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:03,375 -Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! -(moans) 211 00:12:03,458 --> 00:12:06,083 Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! 212 00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:08,166 Nerds! Nerds...Nerds. 213 00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:14,000 Hey, it looks like you're breaking out. 214 00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:16,792 What are you talking about? I've always had a perfect complexion. 215 00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:19,959 I think you've got the chicken pox. 216 00:12:27,792 --> 00:12:29,542 Easy on the sauce, Aaron. 217 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,750 You don't think I'm gonna go through this sober? 218 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,417 Come on. Relax. It's not as bad as all that. 219 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,959 What is this dog hair doing here? We don't have a dog. 220 00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:38,083 ROMEO: Excuse me. 221 00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:40,542 Uh, do you prefer the salad forks to be chilled, 222 00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:42,709 or the salad plates or both? 223 00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:45,375 -Well, I-- -Figure it out. 224 00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:47,792 -Aaron! -Oh, I never. 225 00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:52,125 I cannot work in a vacuum. I need input. I need feedback. 226 00:12:52,208 --> 00:12:54,583 -Romeo! Romeo! -(mumbling) 227 00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:57,458 This is so unfair. 228 00:12:57,542 --> 00:13:00,250 No one told me that I would be catering a wedding for a bunch 229 00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:01,709 of nerds. 230 00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:04,250 Romeo, don't leave, please. Please, no, no! 231 00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:07,000 -MAN: Eugene! Eugene! -(horn honks) 232 00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:17,083 (mouthing words) 233 00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:21,542 Well, it looks as though the happy event is about to begin. 234 00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:25,667 I worked hard my whole life. 235 00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:31,208 I started out at 13 selling cheap porcelain knickknacks door-to-door. 236 00:13:31,709 --> 00:13:33,583 You know how hard that is? 237 00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,125 After she marries that nose-picking "jibony," 238 00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,333 I can kiss my political career good-bye. 239 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:40,792 -Yeah. -Yeah. 240 00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:44,041 And you can kiss taking over Humphrey Industries good-bye. 241 00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:50,166 LEWIS: Yeah, I know. Maybe he'll let you guys live here. You'll have your own computer room. 242 00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:54,083 You know, there's two days before the wedding. 243 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:57,291 -A lot of things could happen. -Like what? 244 00:13:57,375 --> 00:14:00,875 Engagements get canceled all the time for all sorts of reasons. 245 00:14:00,959 --> 00:14:03,000 You mean break up the wedding? 246 00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:05,834 We all want what's best for the family. 247 00:14:05,917 --> 00:14:08,500 Break up my daughter's wedding? 248 00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:11,291 Don't even think about it. You-you got a nasty mind, Chip. 249 00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:13,834 I hate when you have a nasty mind. Break up my daughter's wedding. 250 00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,750 Geez. 251 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:23,000 In addition to ruining any chance of a political career, 252 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:24,834 think for one minute... 253 00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:27,583 what this will do to the family tree. 254 00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,750 You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, 255 00:14:44,834 --> 00:14:47,333 but you can't pick your relatives. 256 00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:54,166 Do whatever you have to do. 257 00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:02,750 ♪♪ 258 00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:07,542 Smile pretty. Smile pretty. 259 00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:10,166 -(camera clicks) -Thank you. 260 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,709 Name tags. Name tags, anyone? 261 00:15:12,792 --> 00:15:15,041 TAKASHI: Right there. Right there, a picture. 262 00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:16,417 -Excuse me. -(camera clicks) 263 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,917 Would you like a "Hello. My name is" tag? 264 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,083 How nerdy can you get? 265 00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:24,750 Lois, what on earth are all these nerds doing here? 266 00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:26,917 They're Booger's friends. 267 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,417 (scoffs) Well, Aaron and Tippy must just be sick. 268 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,834 Oh, Tippy seems okay, but it's killing my brother. 269 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,583 Daddy. 270 00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:39,500 Hi. Lewis Skolnick, best man. 271 00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:44,709 -Figures. -Booger is just crazy about your daughter. 272 00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:47,792 He's gonna make a wonderful husband, and that's all that really matters. 273 00:15:47,875 --> 00:15:49,917 -Right. -Y'know, once you get to know Booger, 274 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,583 -you'll be very happy with what you see. -(slurping) 275 00:15:52,667 --> 00:15:55,625 I'll be very happy when I get away from you. 276 00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:58,792 (guffawing) 277 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,417 MAN: Aaron, my dear man, I'm so sorry. 278 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,792 (chattering continues) 279 00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:06,834 You know, Booger, 280 00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:09,500 I do sense a bit of friction with your future father-in-law. 281 00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:11,583 -Friction? -Mm-hmm. 282 00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,417 He hates my guts. 283 00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:16,333 Say hi to Stan. 284 00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:18,250 -(radio clicks) -Stan, this is Lewis. Come in. 285 00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,667 I read you. I read you, Lewis. Over. 286 00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:23,917 Yeah, I just wanted to see how you're feeling, man. 287 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,166 Oh, pretty good. Just such a bummer I got the chicken pox. 288 00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:30,792 Y'know, I guess I was just too cool to get them as a kid. (laughs) 289 00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:34,166 Well, you know, sometimes we just have to play the cards we're dealt with. 290 00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:38,500 Yeah. You're always so perceptive, Lewis. I wish I could be like you. 291 00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,542 Give it time, Stan. Over and out. 292 00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:44,583 (slurping) 293 00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:48,166 Excuse me, Mr. Lewis, Mr. Booger. 294 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:50,875 Why is that buttocks squished up against the window 295 00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:53,166 -like a pressed Devonshire ham? -(screams) 296 00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:54,250 Ogre! 297 00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:00,208 -Lewey! -Ogre! How are you? 298 00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:02,375 -How you doing? See it? -Yeah, I saw it. 299 00:17:02,458 --> 00:17:04,625 -That's Ogre. -Oh. 300 00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:08,333 -Ogre! Ahhh...! -Little buddy! How you doing? 301 00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:11,166 (chanting) 302 00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:15,667 Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! 303 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,333 This is the worst party we've ever been to. Good night. 304 00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:21,917 This was unbelievable. Thank God my daughter's a lesbian. 305 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,083 -Ogre! Ogre! -Hey, did you see my buns? 306 00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:29,166 -Uh-oh. -What? Who is it? 307 00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,208 -Mylan Whitfield. -Huh? 308 00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:35,291 The chairman of the Republican party. 309 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,208 Nice of you to come, Mylan. Could I get you a drink? 310 00:17:42,291 --> 00:17:44,875 The strongest one you've got. 311 00:17:44,959 --> 00:17:48,625 (belching) 312 00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:54,125 (belching continues) 313 00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:02,083 -I think this is a record. -(continues belching) 314 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:04,625 -(all laughing) -OGRE: Still the world's champ. 315 00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:08,583 -I drink to that. -Heyyy... 316 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:11,792 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 317 00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:14,417 That's your future son-in-law. 318 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,667 And now a very special treat. 319 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:24,083 -My fiancée's turn. -Oh. 320 00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:28,417 Oh, no, Jeanie, please. Don't, don't, don't do it, please. Please, don't, please. 321 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,709 Okay. Okay. 322 00:18:32,792 --> 00:18:34,542 Don't do it, please. Don't do it. 323 00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:37,667 (gulps, belches) 324 00:18:43,959 --> 00:18:48,083 -She's doing a good job. -(mumbling, belches) 325 00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:50,417 Booger must be so proud. 326 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:53,125 -(belching) -(applause) 327 00:18:53,208 --> 00:18:55,000 Wow! Can you believe it? 328 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,417 -Whoo! -She's got the croup. 329 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:07,250 My Jeanie, she can belch with the best of them. 330 00:19:10,709 --> 00:19:12,333 Hey, your sorority sisters are here. 331 00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:14,458 OGRE: It's the Omega Mu's. 332 00:19:14,542 --> 00:19:17,709 (all mooing) 333 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:25,083 They're all voters, Mylan. 334 00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,625 Booger! Booger! Booger! 335 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,667 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 336 00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:31,667 (mic feedback) 337 00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:34,208 Why are they always chanting? 338 00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:39,333 You see, the younger generation today, they--they-- 339 00:19:39,417 --> 00:19:41,709 I think it's kind of fun. 340 00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:43,250 You're wearing two different socks. 341 00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:47,834 BOOGER: Well, (clears throat) I wanna welcome you all to the wedding 342 00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:50,000 that none of us ever thought would happen. 343 00:19:50,083 --> 00:19:54,125 -(all cheering) -I guess hell must have frozen over after all. 344 00:19:54,208 --> 00:19:56,709 (all laughing) 345 00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:58,250 Come on now. 346 00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:02,166 -♪♪ (rim shot) -Boom! 347 00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:05,959 But, Jeanie, you don't know about this, 348 00:20:06,041 --> 00:20:09,542 but I'm going to sing a little song for you. 349 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:14,458 It's something that I think of whenever I think of you. 350 00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:17,000 -WOMAN: Awww. -WOMAN #2: So romantic. 351 00:20:20,458 --> 00:20:21,959 MAN: Nice spot light. 352 00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:26,291 ♪♪ (keyboard) 353 00:20:28,458 --> 00:20:32,500 ♪ Jean, Jean ♪ 354 00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:35,291 ♪ Roses are red ♪ 355 00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:40,333 ♪ And all the leaves ♪ 356 00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:42,625 ♪ Have gone green ♪ 357 00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:48,875 ♪ And the clouds are so low ♪ 358 00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:52,500 ♪ You can touch them and so ♪ 359 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,792 ♪ Come on out to the meadow ♪ 360 00:20:57,875 --> 00:21:00,500 ♪ Jean ♪ 361 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:06,083 ♪ Jean, Jean ♪ 362 00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:10,375 ♪ You're young and alive ♪ 363 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:17,041 ♪ Come out of your half dreamed dream ♪ 364 00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:18,625 Sorry, Aaron. Gotta go. 365 00:21:18,709 --> 00:21:20,250 You will come to the bridal shower? 366 00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:23,041 No can do. Important engagement. 367 00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:26,208 ♪ If you will to the top of the hill ♪ 368 00:21:26,291 --> 00:21:27,792 I thought you were gonna do something. 369 00:21:27,875 --> 00:21:28,834 I'm working on it. 370 00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:30,917 I'm gonna start first thing in the morning. 371 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,625 Start now, doofus. 372 00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:36,583 ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪ 373 00:21:36,667 --> 00:21:38,208 Oh. 374 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:41,792 ♪♪ (piano ends) 375 00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:44,291 (applause) 376 00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:46,458 For those of you in the audience here 377 00:21:46,542 --> 00:21:50,125 who are blues aficionados, we have a little, uh-- 378 00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:53,125 It's a little bit dissonant, but I think you'll like it, 379 00:21:53,208 --> 00:21:55,917 'cause with the fluteophones, it's kind of special. 380 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,709 Flutes up. 381 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,125 A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three. 382 00:22:03,208 --> 00:22:05,583 -WOMAN: Even I can't take this. Good night. -♪♪ (playing of key) 383 00:22:12,375 --> 00:22:16,333 ♪ Many were the wild notes her merry voice would pour ♪ 384 00:22:16,417 --> 00:22:22,125 ♪ Many were the blackbirds that wobbled them all ♪ 385 00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:28,208 TREVOR: ♪ Oh, I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair ♪ 386 00:22:28,291 --> 00:22:32,166 MAN: ♪ Yo, sexy boy just think of me ♪ 387 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:35,208 ♪ As your love toy Come wind me up ♪ 388 00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:39,083 ♪♪ (continues, indistinct) 389 00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:43,458 JEANIE (laughing): Hi guys! 390 00:22:43,542 --> 00:22:46,125 -LEWIS: Hey! -BOOGER: (laughing) 391 00:22:46,208 --> 00:22:48,291 -Hey, can I cut in? -Sure thing. 392 00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:52,583 BOOGER: If I may. 393 00:22:53,583 --> 00:22:58,166 Betty, pregnant women have always made me boggy. 394 00:22:58,250 --> 00:23:02,041 Oh, Booger. You're just incorrigible. 395 00:23:02,125 --> 00:23:04,375 -I try to be. -(laughing) 396 00:23:04,458 --> 00:23:06,250 Excuse me. 397 00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:10,500 I just want you to know that I'm really happy for you. 398 00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:13,375 Booger lets you be yourself, 399 00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:17,083 and I really like what I see. 400 00:23:17,291 --> 00:23:21,041 I can't believe this is coming out of the mouth of my perfect sister. 401 00:23:21,125 --> 00:23:25,166 Who knows? Maybe this wedding has really brought us together. 402 00:23:27,750 --> 00:23:29,208 I love you, Jeanie. 403 00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:31,375 I love you, Gaylord. 404 00:23:31,458 --> 00:23:34,792 -(sobbing) -Oh! 405 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,709 Oh, girls. 406 00:23:41,542 --> 00:23:44,709 Once you go nerd, you'll never go back. 407 00:23:44,792 --> 00:23:47,625 (all laughing) 408 00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:51,500 I would just die for your cheekbones. 409 00:23:52,166 --> 00:23:53,625 Oh. 410 00:23:58,834 --> 00:24:01,000 Hey, handsome. 411 00:24:03,291 --> 00:24:04,667 Wanna dance? 412 00:24:05,458 --> 00:24:07,291 (exhales) Sure. 413 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,000 BOOGER: Good show, Harold. 414 00:24:23,208 --> 00:24:25,834 MAN: ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ 415 00:24:25,917 --> 00:24:29,667 ♪ Just think of me as your love toy ♪ 416 00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:32,959 ♪ Come wind me up Don't need no keys ♪ 417 00:24:33,041 --> 00:24:34,917 ♪ Just pull the strings ♪ 418 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,792 What a prenuptial party. 419 00:24:37,875 --> 00:24:41,834 Really, so enjoyable. Just tremendous. (whistles) 420 00:24:41,917 --> 00:24:45,792 ♪ I'll bring you joy I'll make you dance ♪ 421 00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:47,792 ♪ I'll make you shake this sexy boy ♪ 422 00:24:47,875 --> 00:24:51,291 TIPPY: Jeanie and her friends are having a good time. 423 00:24:51,375 --> 00:24:54,125 Everybody who's important is gone. 424 00:24:54,208 --> 00:24:57,792 What an embarrassment. No, no, no, look. Your sister's still here. 425 00:24:57,875 --> 00:25:01,125 ♪♪ (continues, indistinct) 426 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:04,542 My sister stays to the end of supermarket openings. 427 00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:06,959 BOOGER: Hey, Takashi, whatever happened to Gilbert? 428 00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:08,333 Mrs. Humphrey, 429 00:25:08,417 --> 00:25:09,959 -Yes? -Can I have this dance? 430 00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:12,959 -Oh, I don't think I could. -I think you could. 431 00:25:13,041 --> 00:25:15,750 (laughs) There's a little nerd in everyone. 432 00:25:17,417 --> 00:25:19,542 There's no nerd in me, pal. 433 00:25:19,625 --> 00:25:23,500 ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ 434 00:25:23,583 --> 00:25:27,875 ♪ Believe me I'm the real McCoy ♪ 435 00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:30,458 -♪♪ (continues, indistinct) -(belches) 436 00:25:30,542 --> 00:25:33,375 Yo! Mama-san! 437 00:25:35,250 --> 00:25:38,709 -(kiaiing) -Lois, wait! 438 00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:41,500 (shuddering) 439 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:46,917 ♪ I wanna be I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ 440 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,458 ♪ Your sexy boy ♪ 441 00:25:54,625 --> 00:25:56,709 ♪ Turn out the lights ♪ 442 00:25:56,792 --> 00:25:58,750 TIPPY: Hey, you nerds really know how to party. 443 00:25:58,834 --> 00:26:01,333 (Lewis guffaws) 444 00:26:01,417 --> 00:26:03,333 BOOGER: I'm just getting started, baby. 445 00:26:03,417 --> 00:26:06,667 Romeo, have you seen Chip? 446 00:26:06,750 --> 00:26:10,834 Oh, sure, that's exactly what I have on my mind, worrying about where Chip is. 447 00:26:10,917 --> 00:26:14,542 Oh, gee, where could Chip be? Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. 448 00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:17,250 Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. 449 00:26:17,333 --> 00:26:19,792 How would you like to lose about 12 teeth? 450 00:26:20,834 --> 00:26:22,792 Bitch. 451 00:26:29,625 --> 00:26:32,083 CHIP: I'm looking for dirt, scandal, 452 00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:34,291 some deviant behavior, 453 00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:37,792 a skeleton in a closet that would be so horrible, 454 00:26:37,875 --> 00:26:40,083 it would break up a wedding. 455 00:26:40,166 --> 00:26:42,208 And money's no object. 456 00:26:42,291 --> 00:26:44,583 -(chair squeaks) -How did you find me? 457 00:26:44,667 --> 00:26:46,417 Let's just say through a friend. 458 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,583 And why do you wanna ruin the wedding? 459 00:26:48,667 --> 00:26:51,417 Well, my father-in-law's thinking of getting into politics, 460 00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:53,542 and the groom would ruin his chances. 461 00:26:53,625 --> 00:26:56,041 And if the father-in-law doesn't enter the political arena, 462 00:26:56,125 --> 00:26:58,250 you don't take over the family business. 463 00:26:58,333 --> 00:27:03,000 Yes. Well, I suppose that would happen, but that's not my major concern. 464 00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:08,291 -It's nerds, isn't it? -How did you know that? 465 00:27:08,375 --> 00:27:11,583 -I'm a detective. -Wow. 466 00:27:11,667 --> 00:27:15,125 I had a case with nerds a couple months ago. 467 00:27:15,208 --> 00:27:18,625 -They can be very slippery. -(chair squeaks) 468 00:27:18,709 --> 00:27:20,458 How do I know you're any good? 469 00:27:20,542 --> 00:27:22,792 (sighs) You know the dirt on the royal family? 470 00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:24,375 You? 471 00:27:25,583 --> 00:27:27,792 (laughs) Well, let's do business. 472 00:27:27,875 --> 00:27:29,542 -(chair squeaks) -All right. 473 00:27:33,750 --> 00:27:36,333 -What's the groom's name? -Uh, Dudley Dawson. 474 00:27:36,417 --> 00:27:38,709 But his friends call him "Booger." 475 00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:43,250 -Well, that's the first thing in our favor. -What-what's that? 476 00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:48,417 With a name like Booger, it shouldn't be too hard to get dirt on him. Right? 477 00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:51,542 TREVOR: Good night, Mr. Ogre. 478 00:27:53,750 --> 00:27:55,709 OGRE: Good night, Trevor. 479 00:27:55,792 --> 00:27:57,959 TAKASHI: Good night, Lamar. 480 00:27:58,041 --> 00:28:00,333 -STAN: Good night, Judy. -JUDY: Good night, Stan. 481 00:28:00,417 --> 00:28:02,542 LAMAR: Good night, Takashi. 482 00:28:04,458 --> 00:28:05,834 (toenail clangs in can) 483 00:28:05,917 --> 00:28:08,333 -Betty. -Hmm? 484 00:28:08,417 --> 00:28:11,333 Why can't we videotape the birth? 485 00:28:11,417 --> 00:28:14,667 I just don't want the whole world to see my privates. 486 00:28:14,750 --> 00:28:17,166 But I've already bought a high-definition, 487 00:28:17,250 --> 00:28:19,542 Dolby stereo, 3-D helmet cam. 488 00:28:21,208 --> 00:28:23,834 You know you'll show the video to someone. 489 00:28:23,917 --> 00:28:27,333 I'm really surprised at you, Betty. 490 00:28:27,417 --> 00:28:30,667 Not having the confidence to think that I wouldn't show the video to someone. 491 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,625 (sighs) 492 00:28:34,959 --> 00:28:36,625 -Maybe I would. -(toenails clanging) 493 00:28:37,959 --> 00:28:40,542 -I probably would. -Hmm. 494 00:28:40,625 --> 00:28:43,875 I definitely would, but it's only because no one is prouder than I am 495 00:28:43,959 --> 00:28:46,542 of our unborn fetal son. 496 00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:48,583 And your privates. (guffaws) 497 00:28:48,667 --> 00:28:52,041 Lewis Tarada Skolnick! 498 00:28:52,125 --> 00:28:54,041 Ow! Betty, I was only kidding. 499 00:28:54,125 --> 00:28:56,667 -Ow! -Are you all right, honey? 500 00:28:56,750 --> 00:28:59,792 I'm fine. I just have a little side ache. Ohhh... 501 00:29:03,291 --> 00:29:05,709 You are so wonderful. 502 00:29:05,792 --> 00:29:08,041 I bet I'm the only woman in America 503 00:29:08,125 --> 00:29:11,709 to have a certified midwife as a husband. 504 00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:16,083 That's because I don't want anybody but me delivering our unborn baby son. 505 00:29:16,166 --> 00:29:18,750 -(giggles) -Hey, Betty. 506 00:29:18,834 --> 00:29:21,583 -Hmm? -Would you like to have some pickles and ice cream? 507 00:29:21,667 --> 00:29:23,458 Pickles, ice cream. Pickles, ice cream. 508 00:29:23,542 --> 00:29:25,750 I would love some pickles and ice cream. 509 00:29:25,834 --> 00:29:28,500 -Oh, yea, Mama. -I'll be right back. 510 00:29:30,834 --> 00:29:33,917 Oh, honey, I don't want you to go now. It's after 3:00. 511 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,792 If my unborn fetal son and my beloved wife 512 00:29:36,875 --> 00:29:39,375 want pickles and ice cream, I don't care what time it is. 513 00:29:39,458 --> 00:29:41,750 -(giggles) -Eskimo kiss? 514 00:29:41,834 --> 00:29:43,917 -Butterfly. -Eskimo. 515 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,166 -Butterfly. Butterfly. -Eskimo. Eskimo. 516 00:29:50,166 --> 00:29:52,750 I love you, you big nerd. 517 00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:56,875 I know you are, but what am I? (guffaws) 518 00:29:59,542 --> 00:30:02,625 -Booger. -Hey, Lewis. Where you going? 519 00:30:02,709 --> 00:30:05,000 Oh, I was just gonna take a cruise in the party truck 520 00:30:05,083 --> 00:30:06,959 and get Betty some pickles and ice cream. 521 00:30:07,041 --> 00:30:10,750 -You're gonna make the best father. -You really think so? 522 00:30:11,709 --> 00:30:13,667 I know so. 523 00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:15,834 Hey, you wanna come with? 524 00:30:16,667 --> 00:30:18,041 No. 525 00:30:20,083 --> 00:30:22,834 -Are you feeling all right, Booger? -Lewis... 526 00:30:23,375 --> 00:30:25,125 I'm gonna say something to you 527 00:30:25,208 --> 00:30:27,542 that I would never tell anybody else in the world. 528 00:30:32,917 --> 00:30:34,834 I'm a little scared. 529 00:30:34,917 --> 00:30:36,917 Scared? You? 530 00:30:38,750 --> 00:30:40,583 Well, what are you scared about, Booger? 531 00:30:42,959 --> 00:30:46,834 I've been single a long time, Lewis. 532 00:30:46,917 --> 00:30:50,250 I've enjoyed a lot of Mu's. 533 00:30:50,875 --> 00:30:52,375 My life has been blessed. 534 00:30:52,458 --> 00:30:55,959 (chuckles) And they've enjoyed you too, pal. (laughs) 535 00:30:56,041 --> 00:30:58,125 Now I'm hanging it all up. 536 00:30:59,375 --> 00:31:04,458 But what happens if I run into a woman who really curdles my blood? 537 00:31:04,542 --> 00:31:07,333 'Cause you know me, Lewis. You know how it is. 538 00:31:07,417 --> 00:31:11,542 Our eyes meet across a crowded room, and bammo. 539 00:31:12,542 --> 00:31:15,000 We're talkin' "nutso" time. 540 00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:19,041 Bananas. We're talking out of my brains, 541 00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:22,250 can't control the faculties, the mind follows the genitals time. 542 00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:24,375 Because that's what happens, Lewis, 543 00:31:24,458 --> 00:31:29,375 anytime I meet a woman who really makes me wanna take a bath. 544 00:31:29,458 --> 00:31:33,709 Well, I have manly urges too, Booger, I mean, like any other red-blooded American male. 545 00:31:33,792 --> 00:31:36,709 Well, of course you do. How do you handle it? 546 00:31:36,792 --> 00:31:39,250 I just think of Betty or computers. 547 00:31:39,333 --> 00:31:43,000 No, see, not me. (exhales) 548 00:31:44,792 --> 00:31:49,083 I'm like a train wreck on the Long Island Railroad. 549 00:31:49,166 --> 00:31:54,583 I may see trouble down the tracks, but this trainman can't pull the switch. 550 00:31:54,667 --> 00:31:57,083 Well, nobody likes to party more than I do, Booger. 551 00:31:57,166 --> 00:31:59,750 Except for maybe you. 552 00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:04,125 But my life got so much better since I married Betty. And yours is going to too, 553 00:32:04,208 --> 00:32:06,750 provided you're ready to compromise 554 00:32:06,834 --> 00:32:10,083 and work hard, incredibly hard, on your impending union with Jean. 555 00:32:10,166 --> 00:32:12,542 -You have to work really hard, huh? -Uh huh. 556 00:32:12,625 --> 00:32:14,542 I mean, it's not any harder than, say, 557 00:32:14,625 --> 00:32:16,083 designing cornering velocities for the Japanese Bullet Train. 558 00:32:16,166 --> 00:32:20,792 But you should get some sleep. I mean, tomorrow is a huge day for you. 559 00:32:20,875 --> 00:32:24,750 You got the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon. 560 00:32:24,834 --> 00:32:28,875 And then there's my surprise theme bachelor stag party at night. 561 00:32:28,959 --> 00:32:30,875 You forgot about that, didn't you? 562 00:32:31,959 --> 00:32:33,917 You're gonna nail me, aren't you? 563 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,208 You're darn tootin'. See ya, Booger. 564 00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:40,041 -Hey, Lewis. -Yeah? 565 00:32:41,583 --> 00:32:43,041 Thanks. 566 00:32:45,417 --> 00:32:47,250 I love you, Booger. 567 00:32:48,667 --> 00:32:50,542 I love you too. 568 00:32:57,542 --> 00:33:00,583 ♪♪ 569 00:33:12,417 --> 00:33:14,625 Bibs, anyone? 570 00:33:14,709 --> 00:33:16,500 LEWIS: Don't be bashful. It's all you can eat. 571 00:33:16,583 --> 00:33:20,625 So, uh, Russia's in, you know, bad shape. 572 00:33:20,709 --> 00:33:23,709 Decentralization of the economy and the privatization of industry, 573 00:33:23,792 --> 00:33:26,166 while, you know, leading to these personal freedoms, 574 00:33:26,250 --> 00:33:28,500 it's cost some great hardships. 575 00:33:28,583 --> 00:33:32,709 That's why I, Ogre, I think I'm gonna go over there and see if I can help them out. 576 00:33:32,792 --> 00:33:35,083 You know what I mean? That's no good. 577 00:33:37,959 --> 00:33:40,709 (laughing) 578 00:33:40,792 --> 00:33:42,959 (gasps) 579 00:33:43,041 --> 00:33:46,333 -What the-- -Say "cheese." 580 00:33:46,417 --> 00:33:50,250 -BOTH: Cheese. -TAKASHI: Okay, now stay there, stay there. 581 00:33:52,083 --> 00:33:56,291 -Lewis to Stan, Lewis to Stan. Come in, Stan. -I read you Lewis. Over. 582 00:33:56,375 --> 00:33:59,333 Uh, listen. This is your 2:00 pox report. How-how you feeling, Stan? 583 00:33:59,417 --> 00:34:02,291 Much better now, thanks to Judy. 584 00:34:02,375 --> 00:34:05,333 If you don't take care of the pox, they can scab and leave scars. 585 00:34:05,417 --> 00:34:07,875 -Over and out. -Honey. 586 00:34:07,959 --> 00:34:11,208 -Hmm? -What's Trevor Gulf doing? 587 00:34:11,291 --> 00:34:13,875 I-I think he's mooning us. 588 00:34:13,959 --> 00:34:15,834 That's not a moon. That's the San Joaquin Valley. 589 00:34:15,917 --> 00:34:20,041 -Trevor, no! -Oh, big smile. 590 00:34:20,125 --> 00:34:23,917 Trevor, come on. It isn't nice to moon. 591 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,333 -Oh, it isn't? -No, it isn't. 592 00:34:27,417 --> 00:34:30,834 -Mr. Ogre mooned. -Well, you see, Trevor, 593 00:34:30,917 --> 00:34:33,875 Mr. Ogre's a converted nerd, okay? 594 00:34:33,959 --> 00:34:37,875 He used to be a jock. He's still a little rough around the edges. 595 00:34:37,959 --> 00:34:40,458 Jacques? Is he from France? 596 00:34:42,917 --> 00:34:45,375 (guffaws) 597 00:34:45,458 --> 00:34:49,291 -My condolences, Aaron. -You gotta take the good with the bad. 598 00:34:49,375 --> 00:34:52,333 -Sorry, Aaron. -Hey, if it's not one thing, it's another. 599 00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,750 Mylan, thank you for coming. 600 00:34:55,834 --> 00:34:57,792 Thank you for sending the limo for me. 601 00:34:57,875 --> 00:35:00,625 Thank you for sending the bauble to my secretary. 602 00:35:00,709 --> 00:35:03,792 And the entire party thanks you for sending the check. 603 00:35:03,875 --> 00:35:06,583 -Just being a good Republican, Mylan. -Hmm, hmm... 604 00:35:06,667 --> 00:35:08,500 Come along, dear. 605 00:35:09,709 --> 00:35:11,792 Nice seeing you again, Flo. 606 00:35:15,333 --> 00:35:18,583 -I've done a little homework on Dudley "Booger" Dawson. -Oh, yeah? 607 00:35:18,667 --> 00:35:20,917 -He's an attorney all right. -Well, that's good. 608 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,041 A personal injury attorney. 609 00:35:23,834 --> 00:35:25,792 He's an ambulance chaser? 610 00:35:26,834 --> 00:35:28,667 It just gets worse. 611 00:35:29,834 --> 00:35:33,166 -Well, it'll all be over soon. -What are you gonna do? 612 00:35:33,250 --> 00:35:35,709 You just get ready for a bombshell. 613 00:35:39,709 --> 00:35:42,291 Ogre, thanks, man. 614 00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:45,417 That's--That's really thoughtful. 615 00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:47,625 It was really expensive. (chuckles) 616 00:35:47,709 --> 00:35:53,041 So, uh, I guess it's on to Lewis and Betty's present, huh? 617 00:35:59,333 --> 00:36:01,625 -(all gasping) -Oh, wow! 618 00:36:01,709 --> 00:36:05,792 -WOMAN: Look at that. -A ski exerciser! 619 00:36:05,875 --> 00:36:08,792 I've been dying for one of these! 620 00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:12,542 -Have you? -Boss! 621 00:36:12,625 --> 00:36:16,125 They now have anything ever sold on an infomercial. 622 00:36:16,208 --> 00:36:17,875 Oh, shut up, Aaron. 623 00:36:17,959 --> 00:36:21,875 TAKASHI: Hey, everybody, everybody, Booger's parents are here! 624 00:36:21,959 --> 00:36:25,208 Mr. and Mrs. Booger! Mr. and Mrs. Booger! 625 00:36:25,291 --> 00:36:26,166 (applause) 626 00:36:26,250 --> 00:36:29,417 Mom? Dad! 627 00:36:33,041 --> 00:36:35,542 They look like they just fell off a pickle truck. (laughs) 628 00:36:35,625 --> 00:36:36,709 -Chip! -Ow! 629 00:36:36,792 --> 00:36:40,667 Folks, everybody, excuse me. These are my parents. 630 00:36:40,750 --> 00:36:41,667 -Oh! -Oh! 631 00:36:41,750 --> 00:36:43,458 (shutter clicks) 632 00:36:46,250 --> 00:36:49,500 We're so glad that you're here, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson. 633 00:36:49,583 --> 00:36:51,667 (cheering) 634 00:36:53,083 --> 00:36:55,917 I am flabbergasted. 635 00:36:56,000 --> 00:37:00,083 We would both like to thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts 636 00:37:00,166 --> 00:37:03,500 for this wonderful shower you're throwing us. 637 00:37:03,583 --> 00:37:07,291 It's probably the first shower he's ever had. (guffaws) 638 00:37:10,834 --> 00:37:14,041 MR. DAWSON: No, he showered regularly. Every other night in the summer, 639 00:37:14,125 --> 00:37:15,959 and weekly in the winter. 640 00:37:25,083 --> 00:37:29,208 Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to jump off the dock. 641 00:37:29,291 --> 00:37:33,583 -Yeah! -Hold it, everybody. 642 00:37:33,667 --> 00:37:36,709 I'd like to offer my toast. 643 00:37:36,792 --> 00:37:38,875 ALL: Yeah. Yeah. 644 00:37:38,959 --> 00:37:42,000 WOMAN: Get the glass. Oh, here, take this. 645 00:37:43,375 --> 00:37:45,041 To Booger's love child. 646 00:37:49,041 --> 00:37:51,166 Love child? What are - -what are you talking about? 647 00:37:53,041 --> 00:37:55,709 I'm talking about the daughter you had 12 years ago, 648 00:37:55,792 --> 00:37:59,583 out of wedlock, with a young woman in Sandusky, Ohio. 649 00:37:59,667 --> 00:38:02,166 All right, Booger! Yeah, bud! 650 00:38:04,542 --> 00:38:10,375 You have a child that my little girl doesn't know about? 651 00:38:10,458 --> 00:38:13,041 I am appalled, Booger. Appalled. 652 00:38:13,125 --> 00:38:16,291 -And so is my wife. Right? See? -But-- 653 00:38:16,375 --> 00:38:18,291 I don't know anything about this. 654 00:38:18,375 --> 00:38:21,125 I have no child in Sandusky, Ohio. 655 00:38:21,208 --> 00:38:23,792 -The hell you don't! -(all gasp) 656 00:38:23,875 --> 00:38:26,583 This is a fairly specious charge. 657 00:38:26,667 --> 00:38:29,166 Where's your proof, Chip? 658 00:38:29,250 --> 00:38:30,959 Yeah, where's your proof, Chip? 659 00:38:31,041 --> 00:38:32,542 ALL: Yeah. 660 00:38:33,750 --> 00:38:35,542 My proof is right here. 661 00:38:37,709 --> 00:38:41,667 I'd like you to meet Detective First Class Chad Penrod. 662 00:38:41,750 --> 00:38:46,250 Detective Penrod, does Dudley Dawson, alias Booger, 663 00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:51,250 have or have not a 12-year-old child in Sandusky, Ohio? 664 00:38:51,333 --> 00:38:54,125 I checked the birth records in Sandusky and found 665 00:38:54,208 --> 00:38:56,667 that on March 19, 1981, 666 00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:59,166 a certain Heidi Dawson 667 00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:01,875 was born to a Miss Cathleen Turtle-- 668 00:39:01,959 --> 00:39:04,959 Turtletaub and a Mr. Dudley Dawson. 669 00:39:05,792 --> 00:39:08,500 -Cool. -Wait! 670 00:39:08,583 --> 00:39:12,000 If the parents of the alleged love child were never married, 671 00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:16,875 why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub? 672 00:39:16,959 --> 00:39:21,291 Exactly. Why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub? 673 00:39:21,375 --> 00:39:23,417 -Yes. -(neck bones crack) 674 00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:26,959 Beats me. 675 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,667 If the child were born to an unmarried mother, 676 00:39:30,750 --> 00:39:35,625 wouldn't the so-said mother have given the aforementioned daughter her last name? 677 00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:39,208 PENROD: Well, I do know this. 678 00:39:39,291 --> 00:39:42,208 The child's nickname is Booger. 679 00:39:42,291 --> 00:39:44,750 -(all gasp) -Yeah! 680 00:39:45,458 --> 00:39:46,875 I think we should leave, Jeanie. 681 00:39:46,959 --> 00:39:49,166 Oh. 682 00:39:49,250 --> 00:39:52,875 Do you wanna marry a man who doesn't tell you that he has a child? 683 00:39:52,959 --> 00:39:55,417 Who knows what he'll lie about next? 684 00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:58,208 You saw The Crying Game. 685 00:39:58,291 --> 00:40:01,083 How do we know he even is a man? 686 00:40:01,166 --> 00:40:04,417 -(gasps) -(all gasping) 687 00:40:04,500 --> 00:40:07,250 -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -Get your hands off me! 688 00:40:07,333 --> 00:40:10,083 -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -I caught you red-handed! 689 00:40:10,166 --> 00:40:12,250 -LAMAR: Get off of me! -LEWIS: Hey, break it up! 690 00:40:12,333 --> 00:40:16,041 -Break it up! -I'm gonna tell everybody! Don't you get me started. 691 00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:18,250 -I heard-- -Word! 692 00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:21,333 I can't believe what got into you two. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. 693 00:40:23,458 --> 00:40:26,250 I'm especially surprised at you, Lamar. 694 00:40:26,333 --> 00:40:28,709 Now what was going on? 695 00:40:28,792 --> 00:40:31,542 Well, Chip was crackin' on Booger's parents. 696 00:40:31,625 --> 00:40:33,792 Crackin' on my parents? 697 00:40:35,625 --> 00:40:37,792 What kind of cracks, Chip? 698 00:40:37,875 --> 00:40:41,250 -Booger. -Yeah, what kind? 699 00:40:41,333 --> 00:40:44,917 -As your best man, I strongly advise you just let it go. -I'm not going to let it go. 700 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,083 On the other hand, I'm prepared to explore other avenues with you as well. 701 00:40:48,166 --> 00:40:51,458 -What kind of cracks, Chip? -(stammering) 702 00:40:51,542 --> 00:40:54,959 Chip said that your mama was so ugly, that the Elephant Man paid to see her. 703 00:40:55,041 --> 00:40:57,166 (laughing) 704 00:41:01,375 --> 00:41:05,500 The point is you have a 12-year-old daughter in Sandusky, Ohio! 705 00:41:05,583 --> 00:41:10,625 This has nothing to do with my having a child in Sandusky, Ohio. 706 00:41:10,709 --> 00:41:12,709 That isn't what this is about at all. 707 00:41:14,375 --> 00:41:17,709 -This is because I'm a nerd. -(all gasping) 708 00:41:19,041 --> 00:41:20,834 And it has been since the beginning. 709 00:41:20,917 --> 00:41:23,125 Mm-hmm. 710 00:41:23,208 --> 00:41:26,500 Why else would someone rummage through my private life with a detective? 711 00:41:26,583 --> 00:41:31,458 And then announce this... detestable fabrication, 712 00:41:31,542 --> 00:41:35,166 this--this tissue of lies 713 00:41:35,250 --> 00:41:38,208 -on the happiest day of my life? -Oh, Booger. 714 00:41:39,917 --> 00:41:42,709 Hath not a nerd eyes? 715 00:41:44,417 --> 00:41:46,709 When you prick us, do we not bleed? 716 00:41:48,208 --> 00:41:51,959 I am tired of the reckless allegations, 717 00:41:52,041 --> 00:41:54,208 the snide snickering, 718 00:41:54,291 --> 00:41:57,458 the talking behind backs, the sly innuendos, 719 00:41:57,542 --> 00:41:59,917 the looking down on us. 720 00:42:03,250 --> 00:42:06,458 We are what we are. 721 00:42:06,542 --> 00:42:08,959 -Aren't we? -NERDS: We are! 722 00:42:09,041 --> 00:42:12,500 -And we're proud of what we are. -NERDS: We are! 723 00:42:12,583 --> 00:42:15,875 And we are not about to allow ourselves 724 00:42:15,959 --> 00:42:18,959 to be intimidated by a bunch of-- 725 00:42:19,041 --> 00:42:22,000 Booger, don't say it! 726 00:42:22,083 --> 00:42:27,125 -Say it, Booger! -Nouveau-riche pigs! 727 00:42:28,917 --> 00:42:30,667 OGRE: There you go. 728 00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:36,834 You have... the audacity... 729 00:42:36,917 --> 00:42:39,709 to utter the most... 730 00:42:39,792 --> 00:42:43,125 morally reprehensible slur to these... 731 00:42:44,583 --> 00:42:47,417 fine, upstanding, 732 00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:49,792 self-made businesspeople. 733 00:42:51,834 --> 00:42:54,583 Shame on you, Booger. 734 00:42:54,667 --> 00:42:56,709 Shame on all of you nerds. 735 00:42:56,792 --> 00:42:58,125 Ogre, no! 736 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,709 -(gasps) -WOMAN: Oh! 737 00:43:09,792 --> 00:43:12,041 The prosecution rests. 738 00:43:12,125 --> 00:43:15,000 I've had it with you nerds! 739 00:43:16,667 --> 00:43:18,500 All right, everyone, just cool it! 740 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,208 -Oh, what the hell. -We've got too much class for this kind of crap. 741 00:43:26,333 --> 00:43:28,750 -Booger! -Jeanie! 742 00:43:28,834 --> 00:43:32,375 -Booger! -TAKASHI: (yells) 743 00:43:33,959 --> 00:43:35,458 Ahhh! 744 00:43:39,667 --> 00:43:41,667 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaa! 745 00:43:52,083 --> 00:43:54,208 (woman shrieking) 746 00:44:16,542 --> 00:44:19,542 So you might have a daughter in Sandusky, Ohio, huh? 747 00:44:22,709 --> 00:44:25,375 (sighs) I don't know. 748 00:44:26,583 --> 00:44:28,500 It's certainly possible. 749 00:44:30,250 --> 00:44:35,250 God knows my seed is as strong as an Alaskan salmon. 750 00:44:37,083 --> 00:44:39,875 And I partied pretty hard in the early '80s. 751 00:44:41,417 --> 00:44:43,208 In Sandusky? 752 00:44:45,083 --> 00:44:48,500 Apart from Akron, I probably spent more time in Sandusky 753 00:44:48,583 --> 00:44:50,583 than any place on earth. 754 00:44:53,250 --> 00:44:55,125 Damn it! 755 00:44:58,417 --> 00:45:01,250 Everything was going so great. Now it's ruined. 756 00:45:05,458 --> 00:45:07,792 Ah, Booger. 757 00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,291 Your wedding isn't ruined. 758 00:45:14,834 --> 00:45:16,792 What are you talking about? 759 00:45:17,750 --> 00:45:21,291 We just had a food fight. 760 00:45:22,625 --> 00:45:26,125 People don't have... 761 00:45:27,667 --> 00:45:31,583 food fights at their... 762 00:45:31,667 --> 00:45:33,542 bridal showers! 763 00:45:33,625 --> 00:45:35,583 But I did. 764 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,709 Some nouveau-riche guy, 765 00:45:39,792 --> 00:45:42,417 looked like he could have been a banker, 766 00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:45,542 is mashing... 767 00:45:45,625 --> 00:45:50,458 handfuls of garni up my nostrils! 768 00:45:52,583 --> 00:45:54,667 (sighs) I know things look bleak. 769 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,959 But they've been bleak before. 770 00:45:58,041 --> 00:46:01,083 Do you remember at Adams College? 771 00:46:01,166 --> 00:46:03,291 We were exiled from the dorms 772 00:46:03,375 --> 00:46:05,917 and forced to live in the gymnasium. 773 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,417 Do you remember in Fort Lauderdale, 774 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:11,917 when we were persecuted into subjugation and incarcerated? 775 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:16,041 How about when Orrin Price framed me... 776 00:46:16,125 --> 00:46:18,250 for embezzling... 777 00:46:18,333 --> 00:46:22,625 Adams College computer research funds? 778 00:46:22,709 --> 00:46:27,083 We may have been subjected to the yoke of nerd oppression before, 779 00:46:27,166 --> 00:46:30,375 -but we're not gonna be subjected to it again! -(bangs mug) 780 00:46:31,375 --> 00:46:35,250 This wedding is not over! The son of a gun has just begun! 781 00:46:37,667 --> 00:46:39,875 Come on, pal. 782 00:46:40,834 --> 00:46:43,208 (crying) 783 00:46:44,375 --> 00:46:46,375 (ringing) 784 00:46:51,709 --> 00:46:54,917 BOOGER: Meet me at the Wood Bridge in half an hour. 785 00:46:57,875 --> 00:46:59,875 Please? 786 00:47:02,542 --> 00:47:06,250 - Hello? -(sobs) 787 00:47:06,333 --> 00:47:10,500 I'm sorry. Is this 555-4264? 788 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,375 Knock, knock. Is this a private party? 789 00:47:17,291 --> 00:47:18,667 Have a drink, Chip. 790 00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:21,333 Thanks, Dad--Aaron. (laughs) 791 00:47:21,417 --> 00:47:23,834 (sighs) 792 00:47:23,917 --> 00:47:26,583 I'm taking a lot of flack from this from my wife. 793 00:47:27,917 --> 00:47:30,667 I thought the, uh, food fight was a nice plus though. 794 00:47:30,750 --> 00:47:34,291 This is a career day for you, Chip. 795 00:47:34,375 --> 00:47:39,166 As a matter of fact, this is the first good thing I could ever remember you doing. 796 00:47:39,250 --> 00:47:41,542 Oh, come on. I've done lots of good things. 797 00:47:42,291 --> 00:47:43,625 Name one. 798 00:47:43,709 --> 00:47:47,083 -Are you serious? -Name one. 799 00:47:48,917 --> 00:47:50,792 Well, there was, uh-- 800 00:47:51,917 --> 00:47:55,125 -Uh-- -You don't do anything and I pay you a fortune. 801 00:47:55,208 --> 00:47:56,875 But look. 802 00:47:56,959 --> 00:47:59,625 You made up for everything. You're the man 803 00:47:59,959 --> 00:48:03,291 who drove the Booger man out of my daughter's life. 804 00:48:04,792 --> 00:48:05,792 (exhales) 805 00:48:08,083 --> 00:48:10,250 Daddy, I have to talk to you. 806 00:48:11,125 --> 00:48:12,542 I'm so confused. 807 00:48:14,291 --> 00:48:17,333 First of all, I just wanna thank you for being so concerned about me. 808 00:48:17,417 --> 00:48:19,709 I know in my heart 809 00:48:19,792 --> 00:48:22,709 you only want what's best for me, 810 00:48:22,792 --> 00:48:25,083 no matter what you say or do or how you behave. 811 00:48:25,166 --> 00:48:27,458 JEANIE: (sighs) 812 00:48:28,125 --> 00:48:30,959 I sure do love that Booger though. 813 00:48:31,625 --> 00:48:34,583 I can't believe he's got a kid he never told me about. 814 00:48:38,834 --> 00:48:40,917 (groans) 815 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:45,125 (scoffs) Kids--you gotta love 'em. 816 00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:48,500 (exhales) 817 00:48:49,834 --> 00:48:53,667 It, um-- It is true, Chip. 818 00:48:54,208 --> 00:48:55,375 Is what true? 819 00:48:57,667 --> 00:49:01,583 That, um, he has a child 820 00:49:01,667 --> 00:49:03,792 with an unwed mother and all that? 821 00:49:03,875 --> 00:49:07,417 Yeah, sure it's true. The detective I hired found it. 822 00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:12,083 Because it, uh-- it wouldn't be good if it wasn't true. 823 00:49:12,166 --> 00:49:17,250 -It's true. -Then, uh--then it's good. 824 00:49:17,333 --> 00:49:21,458 -'Cause it's true. -Right. If it's true, it's good. 825 00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:24,291 And, uh, I feel good about that. (clicks tongue) 826 00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:26,166 Good. 827 00:49:28,333 --> 00:49:31,375 (birds chirping) 828 00:49:46,041 --> 00:49:47,750 (gasps) 829 00:49:47,834 --> 00:49:50,208 -Booger! -Jeanie! 830 00:49:53,417 --> 00:49:56,208 Let's go to our secret spot so no one will see us. 831 00:49:58,333 --> 00:50:02,458 -I love you, Booger. -Oh, I love you too. 832 00:50:02,542 --> 00:50:06,625 But marriage is about trust. No secrets from each other, remember? 833 00:50:06,709 --> 00:50:08,750 I don't have any secrets. 834 00:50:09,959 --> 00:50:12,375 Well, what about that child in Sandusky, Ohio? 835 00:50:12,458 --> 00:50:16,083 I don't have a child in Sandusky, Ohio! 836 00:50:17,625 --> 00:50:20,375 Well, why would Detective Penrod say that you did? 837 00:50:20,458 --> 00:50:22,500 Well, I don't know! 838 00:50:22,583 --> 00:50:25,333 I don't even know who Detective Penrod is! 839 00:50:25,417 --> 00:50:28,417 I'm a condemned man and I don't have a child! 840 00:50:33,125 --> 00:50:34,583 I believe you, Booger. 841 00:50:37,250 --> 00:50:38,458 You do? 842 00:50:38,542 --> 00:50:41,500 Yes, because marriage is about trust. 843 00:50:41,583 --> 00:50:46,041 And I trust you... completely. 844 00:50:46,125 --> 00:50:47,583 BOOGER: (laughs) 845 00:50:49,125 --> 00:50:52,709 All I know is that I love you and I think we should continue the wedding. 846 00:50:52,792 --> 00:50:55,750 Oh, Booger, I-- I don't know what to do. I-- 847 00:50:55,834 --> 00:51:00,333 I--I don't know. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. 848 00:51:01,834 --> 00:51:03,792 I, uh-- 849 00:51:04,625 --> 00:51:06,583 I know it's a day early, but... 850 00:51:09,625 --> 00:51:11,458 I'd like you to read my valentine. 851 00:51:18,792 --> 00:51:21,375 (giggling) 852 00:51:21,458 --> 00:51:23,291 -Open it up. -(laughs) 853 00:51:24,291 --> 00:51:25,792 A cow. Oh. 854 00:51:30,208 --> 00:51:33,291 "An empty spot was on my heart 855 00:51:33,375 --> 00:51:36,583 until I met you, O Valentine. 856 00:51:36,667 --> 00:51:40,125 Then the spot filled in. My heart was whole. 857 00:51:40,208 --> 00:51:44,709 I could love for the first time in my life 858 00:51:44,792 --> 00:51:47,959 now that you are going to become 859 00:51:51,667 --> 00:51:53,625 my wife." 860 00:51:57,834 --> 00:52:01,583 -Ahh, the hell with my dad! -Uh, huh, that's exactly what I'd hoped you'd say. 861 00:52:01,667 --> 00:52:02,625 (laughing) 862 00:52:02,709 --> 00:52:05,417 (lowing) 863 00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:08,125 -Again. -(laughs) 864 00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:12,041 (lowing) 865 00:52:13,709 --> 00:52:17,959 (laughs) Oh, I can't tell you what it does to me to hear you moo again. 866 00:52:18,041 --> 00:52:21,291 -(lowing) -(mooing) 867 00:52:21,375 --> 00:52:24,333 (mooing) 868 00:52:24,417 --> 00:52:27,041 -Oh, ho, ho, Booger! -Jeanie! 869 00:52:27,709 --> 00:52:31,709 -(laughs) -(mooing) 870 00:52:35,875 --> 00:52:37,917 (lawn mower) 871 00:52:39,667 --> 00:52:42,333 -It's on! -What's on? 872 00:52:42,417 --> 00:52:44,959 The wedding is on again! 873 00:52:45,041 --> 00:52:48,917 First it's on, then it's off. Now it's on again. 874 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,166 I am on an emotional roller coaster. 875 00:52:51,250 --> 00:52:54,000 -I am not a yo-yo. -(scoffs) 876 00:52:54,083 --> 00:52:57,125 -(lawn mower) -(tray slams) 877 00:53:00,875 --> 00:53:04,291 How can the wedding be on? We all can't even be in the same room together. 878 00:53:04,375 --> 00:53:06,500 Never in the history of weddings 879 00:53:06,583 --> 00:53:09,458 has there ever been a clearer case of incompatibility. 880 00:53:09,542 --> 00:53:14,291 Aaron, Jeanie is thrilled. Think about her for once. 881 00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:17,667 I am thinking about her. The man is a liar and a child deserter. 882 00:53:17,750 --> 00:53:20,333 If she goes through with this wedding, I'm not gonna have anything to do with it! 883 00:53:20,417 --> 00:53:22,709 Zero, nothing, nada, zip! 884 00:53:24,458 --> 00:53:25,709 -(chair ganging) -Ow! 885 00:53:25,792 --> 00:53:27,375 (laughing) 886 00:53:27,458 --> 00:53:30,959 Okay, all right. Anybody who feels that Booger could have 887 00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:33,834 an illegitimate child in Sandusky, Ohio, raise your right hands. 888 00:53:38,667 --> 00:53:41,000 (shouts) Opposed? 889 00:53:41,083 --> 00:53:43,417 -You don't think it's possible? -No, I do not. 890 00:53:43,500 --> 00:53:45,834 Booger may be Booger, but he always took precautions. 891 00:53:45,917 --> 00:53:50,250 -That is right. He always did wear condoms. -Oh. Condom. 892 00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:52,917 -So he couldn't have a child. -No way. 893 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:56,709 (car approaching) 894 00:53:56,792 --> 00:54:00,834 -Harold, where you going? -LAMAR: I don't know, but I would guess Aunt Lois's. 895 00:54:00,917 --> 00:54:03,083 Are you scoring, Harold? 896 00:54:03,166 --> 00:54:06,667 Well, I certainly wouldn't tell you if I was. 897 00:54:06,750 --> 00:54:09,917 But I guarantee ya I ain't going over there for breakfast. 898 00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,458 (all laughing) 899 00:54:13,458 --> 00:54:15,792 -(tires screeching) -Ya-hoo! 900 00:54:15,875 --> 00:54:18,834 -(horn honking) -(tires squealing) 901 00:54:20,375 --> 00:54:22,959 -It's on! -BOTH: What's on? 902 00:54:23,875 --> 00:54:25,083 The wedding! 903 00:54:25,166 --> 00:54:28,333 -(tires screeching) -(horn honking) 904 00:54:34,333 --> 00:54:36,750 Uh, I-I thought you told me the love child was real. 905 00:54:36,834 --> 00:54:39,709 I didn't say she was real. I said it was a great idea. 906 00:54:39,792 --> 00:54:44,917 But it hasn't turned out to be such a great idea, has it? 907 00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:49,083 If Aaron finds out I've lied to him, I'm dead. He's gonna fire me. 908 00:54:49,166 --> 00:54:52,917 (sighs) Hey, if he fires you, isn't he also cutting off his own daughter? 909 00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,750 He's gonna give her an allowance that I'm not allowed to touch. 910 00:54:56,834 --> 00:54:59,375 Well, (lips smack) that'd do it. 911 00:54:59,709 --> 00:55:01,458 (moans) 912 00:55:01,542 --> 00:55:03,917 Oh, relax will ya. There are plenty of ways to ruin a wedding. 913 00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,959 -Such as? -It's easy. 914 00:55:06,041 --> 00:55:07,291 You know what bachelor parties are like. 915 00:55:07,375 --> 00:55:11,667 Beautiful women, liquor flowing, raw naked temptation. 916 00:55:12,041 --> 00:55:14,458 Booger's bound to succumb. 917 00:55:14,542 --> 00:55:17,166 According to his bio, he's got the self-control of a brahma bull. 918 00:55:17,250 --> 00:55:20,291 Uhh, how would we, uh-- How would we show proof of this? 919 00:55:20,375 --> 00:55:22,834 We'll make one of America's 920 00:55:22,917 --> 00:55:26,417 least funny home videos. 921 00:55:26,500 --> 00:55:30,250 -(chuckling) -(chuckling) 922 00:55:31,333 --> 00:55:32,375 Do it. 923 00:55:34,208 --> 00:55:37,583 Hey. There's a horse here named Big Booger. 924 00:55:41,083 --> 00:55:44,125 ♪♪ 925 00:55:48,625 --> 00:55:51,834 (groans) I missed the food fight. 926 00:55:51,917 --> 00:55:54,959 And now I'm gonna miss Booger's surprise theme bachelor party. 927 00:55:55,041 --> 00:55:57,667 Well, not really, Stan. 928 00:55:57,750 --> 00:56:01,166 May I present to you and Judy a special Valentine's Day treat. 929 00:56:01,250 --> 00:56:05,500 Try these on for size, ok? Now, tonight when the bachelor party starts, 930 00:56:05,583 --> 00:56:09,834 you simply turn on the TV, hit the function button on your remote. OK? 931 00:56:09,917 --> 00:56:12,208 And you might not be there, but you'll have the next best thing-- 932 00:56:13,208 --> 00:56:16,834 -Skolnick Vision. -(guffaws) 933 00:56:16,917 --> 00:56:18,875 -Bye, guys. -Thanks, Lewis. 934 00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,583 -Thanks. -(door opens, closes) 935 00:56:21,667 --> 00:56:23,709 (both guffawing) 936 00:56:23,792 --> 00:56:26,583 -♪♪ (dance rock) -(shouting, chattering) 937 00:56:28,834 --> 00:56:31,750 -Oh, I made it! -Great shot, Takashi. You know, you owe me another 20 bucks. 938 00:56:31,834 --> 00:56:33,500 -Huh? -Well, sometimes when you win, you lose. 939 00:56:33,583 --> 00:56:34,875 Now, let's play for your watch. 940 00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:37,208 -Okay, thank you. -You're welcome. (laughs) 941 00:56:37,291 --> 00:56:40,792 Red ball, middle pocket and you can call me London Fats. (chuckles) 942 00:56:42,250 --> 00:56:44,709 (party favors squealing) 943 00:56:44,792 --> 00:56:47,834 Ah, here you go. A bumper pool tournament! 944 00:56:47,917 --> 00:56:50,542 I mean, what an original idea for a bachelor party! 945 00:56:50,625 --> 00:56:52,875 I knew that you would love it, Booger. 946 00:56:52,959 --> 00:56:55,917 Is there gonna be a girlie show? 947 00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,250 Mr. Dawson, that would be sexist. 948 00:56:58,333 --> 00:57:01,583 Yeah, we believe it's possible to be entertained without demeaning women. 949 00:57:01,667 --> 00:57:05,458 That's nice. But personally, I'd prefer a little skin. 950 00:57:07,125 --> 00:57:10,667 Hey, hey, fellas, I got winners. (chuckles) 951 00:57:12,625 --> 00:57:15,709 He's got a lot of nerve showing his face around here. 952 00:57:15,792 --> 00:57:18,375 -Temper, temper. -Don't worry about it, Booger. 953 00:57:18,458 --> 00:57:21,375 We got him under 24-hour surveillance. 954 00:57:21,458 --> 00:57:24,000 There's nothing he can do that we don't know about. 955 00:57:24,500 --> 00:57:26,583 -(laughs) -(laughs) 956 00:57:26,667 --> 00:57:28,709 Hey, no lofting, Harold! 957 00:57:28,792 --> 00:57:32,417 (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! 958 00:57:32,500 --> 00:57:35,041 -Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! -(gargles) 959 00:57:35,125 --> 00:57:38,917 I really expected Aaron to be here tonight. 960 00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,291 He doesn't want anything to do with the wedding. 961 00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:44,458 Well, he might have extended me the courtesy of allowing me to know that. 962 00:57:44,542 --> 00:57:46,500 (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! 963 00:57:46,583 --> 00:57:49,792 All right, all right, all right. All right! 964 00:57:49,875 --> 00:57:51,875 (chanting stops) Nouveau-- 965 00:57:52,917 --> 00:57:54,834 Now, I know we had a little trouble today 966 00:57:54,917 --> 00:57:57,959 at the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon, 967 00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,250 but, hey, that's behind us now, right? 968 00:58:00,333 --> 00:58:02,625 -We're adults. -Hold it, everybody. 969 00:58:02,709 --> 00:58:05,750 -Lewis is right. -(coughs) 970 00:58:05,834 --> 00:58:08,834 Why, even I've been a bit of a recalcitrant during this wedding, 971 00:58:08,917 --> 00:58:12,583 but now that I've gotten to know... Booger, 972 00:58:12,667 --> 00:58:16,291 I realize that you and Jeanie are a perfect couple. 973 00:58:16,375 --> 00:58:20,583 And I know that it's only the first step, 974 00:58:20,667 --> 00:58:24,333 -♪♪ (dance rock) -but I'm hoping that you will accept... 975 00:58:24,417 --> 00:58:27,333 -MAN: Look at that. -...my dove of peace. 976 00:58:27,417 --> 00:58:30,750 -(excited chattering) -(party favors squealing) 977 00:58:33,250 --> 00:58:35,750 -Miss Modem! -(all cheering) 978 00:58:37,875 --> 00:58:41,959 -Miss Numbers. -Come on! 979 00:58:42,041 --> 00:58:43,959 (sighs) 980 00:58:44,041 --> 00:58:46,667 Miss Mainframe. 981 00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:50,875 -Leave it to Chip to be sexist. -M-m-me, me, me! 982 00:58:50,959 --> 00:58:52,917 -CHIP: Miss Communication. -(gasps) 983 00:58:54,917 --> 00:58:57,333 You know, they are sort of enjoyable. 984 00:58:57,417 --> 00:58:59,917 -CHIP: Miss Floppy Disk. -BOOGER: (moaning) 985 00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:04,417 -(moaning continues) -♪♪ 986 00:59:09,166 --> 00:59:11,750 -I love you! -Come on! 987 00:59:11,834 --> 00:59:14,625 -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing) 988 00:59:22,583 --> 00:59:25,542 Hey, hey, hey. 989 00:59:25,625 --> 00:59:28,208 -I'll take care of him. -Go get him. 990 00:59:28,291 --> 00:59:32,083 -Hi, Booger. I'm your present. -(growls) 991 00:59:32,166 --> 00:59:36,458 ♪♪ (continues) 992 00:59:37,625 --> 00:59:40,583 WOMAN: ♪ You make quiver ♪ 993 00:59:40,667 --> 00:59:43,291 (moans) You feel so good! 994 00:59:50,166 --> 00:59:52,667 I can't take no more! 995 00:59:53,667 --> 00:59:56,959 ♪ You make me quiver ♪ 996 00:59:57,041 --> 00:59:59,125 (both guffawing) 997 01:00:01,500 --> 01:00:04,417 MAN: Take it off! 998 01:00:04,500 --> 01:00:06,542 (cheering) 999 01:00:10,542 --> 01:00:12,667 (guffawing continues) 1000 01:00:13,959 --> 01:00:17,375 ♪♪ (music continues) 1001 01:00:33,208 --> 01:00:35,208 ♪ You make me quiver ♪ 1002 01:00:35,542 --> 01:00:36,500 (laughing) 1003 01:00:36,583 --> 01:00:38,959 You know, this--this Skolnick Vision is great, 1004 01:00:39,041 --> 01:00:43,250 but, ah, still, it's not like actually being there. 1005 01:00:46,542 --> 01:00:49,417 We could have our own stag party, Stan. 1006 01:00:51,542 --> 01:00:54,375 ♪♪ (continues) 1007 01:00:54,834 --> 01:00:58,291 -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing) 1008 01:00:58,375 --> 01:01:01,250 ♪ You make quiver ♪ 1009 01:01:04,709 --> 01:01:07,709 ♪♪ (vocalizing) 1010 01:01:09,166 --> 01:01:10,625 (laughing) 1011 01:01:10,709 --> 01:01:14,000 ♪ You make quiver ♪ 1012 01:01:14,083 --> 01:01:15,875 (all shouting) 1013 01:01:19,375 --> 01:01:20,417 ♪ Shiver ♪ 1014 01:01:23,291 --> 01:01:26,000 -(cheering) -(shouting) 1015 01:01:26,083 --> 01:01:28,709 ♪ You make me quiver ♪ 1016 01:01:28,792 --> 01:01:32,709 -♪♪ (continues) -(cheering) 1017 01:01:36,417 --> 01:01:38,417 (laughing) 1018 01:01:42,083 --> 01:01:45,291 We're gonna have some fun. A cool time. 1019 01:01:46,583 --> 01:01:49,709 (both laughing) 1020 01:01:49,792 --> 01:01:51,959 -What is all this? -(chuckles) 1021 01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:54,959 This is anything that you want it to be, Booger. 1022 01:01:59,750 --> 01:02:03,417 (whirring) 1023 01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:06,542 -♪♪ (conga drum beating) -ALL: Hey! Hey! 1024 01:02:06,625 --> 01:02:09,417 Hey! 1025 01:02:09,500 --> 01:02:11,709 Hey! Hey! 1026 01:02:11,792 --> 01:02:13,583 Hey! 1027 01:02:13,667 --> 01:02:17,291 Hey! Hey! 1028 01:02:20,959 --> 01:02:23,333 Did you do the nasty? 1029 01:02:26,625 --> 01:02:29,041 I still got it. 1030 01:02:29,125 --> 01:02:31,458 (all shouting, cheering) 1031 01:02:33,625 --> 01:02:36,125 -All right, Booger! -♪♪ (conga drum resumes) 1032 01:02:36,208 --> 01:02:40,125 Hey! Hey! Hey! 1033 01:02:42,208 --> 01:02:46,208 This better be good, Chip, to have woken us up in the middle of the night. 1034 01:02:46,291 --> 01:02:50,417 I just want you all to see what kind of lowlife Jeanie's going to marry. 1035 01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:51,875 BOOGER (on TV): What is all this? 1036 01:02:51,959 --> 01:02:52,959 Booger? 1037 01:02:53,041 --> 01:02:57,291 This is anything you want it to be, Booger. 1038 01:02:57,375 --> 01:03:00,417 It's your last night as a single man. 1039 01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:02,875 You're allowed to have a little fun, Booger. 1040 01:03:02,959 --> 01:03:06,000 Oh, my God. 1041 01:03:07,542 --> 01:03:11,625 -I can't do this. -Everybody's nervous at first. 1042 01:03:11,709 --> 01:03:16,125 No, no, no. It's not that I'm nervous. 1043 01:03:16,208 --> 01:03:20,000 I am not nervous. 1044 01:03:20,083 --> 01:03:22,959 It's just that, um, 1045 01:03:23,041 --> 01:03:27,250 Jeanie and I have a special bond... 1046 01:03:27,333 --> 01:03:30,583 and I don't want to break it. 1047 01:03:32,709 --> 01:03:35,000 Plus, you make me very nervous. 1048 01:03:37,333 --> 01:03:40,750 So, if it's all right with you, perhaps we could just... 1049 01:03:42,834 --> 01:03:45,792 sit here for a, for a moment... 1050 01:03:45,875 --> 01:03:48,625 so that the guys outside won't... 1051 01:03:48,709 --> 01:03:51,250 think that I'm the sissy that you know me to be. 1052 01:03:51,333 --> 01:03:53,125 -(laughs) -(kiss) 1053 01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:57,166 You're not a sissy, Booger. You're a mensch. 1054 01:03:57,250 --> 01:04:00,750 -I think he acted very responsibly. -That's right, Chip. 1055 01:04:02,583 --> 01:04:05,667 -(smacks butt) -Oh, yes, Mommy! 1056 01:04:05,750 --> 01:04:09,291 -Oh, God. (laughing) - Oh, I'm feeling better. 1057 01:04:09,375 --> 01:04:13,834 -Ooh. -I've been bad. I've been very bad! 1058 01:04:13,917 --> 01:04:16,000 I want a divorce, Chip. 1059 01:04:16,083 --> 01:04:19,417 It must be a mistake. That's not me. 1060 01:04:21,542 --> 01:04:24,375 Those nerds did it. I bet they did it on a computer or something. 1061 01:04:24,458 --> 01:04:26,542 God, the things they can do with computers these days. 1062 01:04:26,625 --> 01:04:31,250 No. I'm the one who made the mistake, Chip, when I married you. 1063 01:04:33,291 --> 01:04:35,500 It was a little indiscretion at a bachelor party. 1064 01:04:35,583 --> 01:04:38,208 It's not just the video, Chip! 1065 01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:41,500 It's been all downhill since the honeymoon. 1066 01:04:41,583 --> 01:04:44,875 You drink too much. You're mentally abusive to me. 1067 01:04:44,959 --> 01:04:47,667 You fool around with other women. 1068 01:04:47,750 --> 01:04:50,500 We have absolutely nothing in common. 1069 01:04:50,583 --> 01:04:53,250 Well, maybe I could work a little harder. 1070 01:04:53,333 --> 01:04:57,625 It makes me ill to think I've stayed with you as long as I have. 1071 01:04:58,834 --> 01:05:01,834 (gagging) 1072 01:05:01,917 --> 01:05:04,000 CHIP: Honey? 1073 01:05:08,417 --> 01:05:10,709 You mind if I spoke to Chip alone? 1074 01:05:10,792 --> 01:05:12,667 Oh, no, certainly. Come, sweetie. 1075 01:05:12,750 --> 01:05:14,625 TIPPY: Gaylord! 1076 01:05:19,917 --> 01:05:22,875 -This isn't good, Chip. -No. 1077 01:05:23,834 --> 01:05:25,917 So I'm gonna kill you, Chip. 1078 01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:29,083 You made a fool out of my daughter! 1079 01:05:29,166 --> 01:05:31,083 Aaron, I can explain everything. 1080 01:05:31,166 --> 01:05:33,083 You lied about the illegitimate child, 1081 01:05:33,166 --> 01:05:35,959 then you tried to frame Booger and you got caught! 1082 01:05:36,041 --> 01:05:38,917 The illegitimate child will be here tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. 1083 01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,250 She's on route right now from Sandusky, Ohio. 1084 01:05:41,333 --> 01:05:44,250 There is no illegitimate child! You made it all up. 1085 01:05:44,333 --> 01:05:47,375 The illegitimate child will be here at 10:00 in the morning! 1086 01:05:47,458 --> 01:05:51,417 It better be! And you better get my daughter to forgive you, 1087 01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:54,041 or there's no room for you in this family 1088 01:05:54,125 --> 01:05:58,208 or at Humphrey Industries, you pervert creep. 1089 01:06:00,375 --> 01:06:01,458 (door slams) 1090 01:06:05,417 --> 01:06:08,625 Oh, boy. That was one heck of a stag party last night, Lewis. 1091 01:06:08,709 --> 01:06:10,959 I know I'll never forget it. 1092 01:06:11,041 --> 01:06:14,959 I especially enjoyed your dance with the woman who removed her clothes, Mr. Booger. 1093 01:06:15,041 --> 01:06:19,333 Trevor, remember there's a code of silence about what goes on at a stag party. 1094 01:06:19,417 --> 01:06:21,959 -Code of silence? -So, reveal nothing, 1095 01:06:22,041 --> 01:06:24,959 even if you're under hours of interrogation and torture. 1096 01:06:25,041 --> 01:06:27,667 Wild horses couldn't drag it out of me. 1097 01:06:27,750 --> 01:06:31,000 (chuckles) Who aren't I supposed to tell? 1098 01:06:46,625 --> 01:06:48,458 -Lewis. -Huh? 1099 01:06:49,041 --> 01:06:50,583 There were women there, weren't there? 1100 01:06:54,083 --> 01:06:55,583 Yes. 1101 01:06:59,250 --> 01:07:00,583 Were they pretty? 1102 01:07:02,750 --> 01:07:03,917 Yes. 1103 01:07:04,792 --> 01:07:06,208 What'd you do with them? 1104 01:07:08,709 --> 01:07:11,333 -The bunny hop. -That's all you did? 1105 01:07:11,417 --> 01:07:14,750 -Yes. -Was the bunny hop? 1106 01:07:17,750 --> 01:07:20,542 Okay. You can still be my valentine then. 1107 01:07:24,583 --> 01:07:27,709 Oh, Betty. (sighs) You shouldn't have. 1108 01:07:27,792 --> 01:07:30,208 -He's so cute. -He plays something too. 1109 01:07:30,291 --> 01:07:32,875 Beautiful. (chuckles) 1110 01:07:32,959 --> 01:07:37,000 Hey, guys! It's Valentine's Day! 1111 01:07:37,083 --> 01:07:39,250 ALL: Happy Valentine's Day! 1112 01:07:39,333 --> 01:07:41,166 Happy Valentine's. 1113 01:07:42,667 --> 01:07:46,417 Aaron, I hope you didn't have anything 1114 01:07:46,500 --> 01:07:49,375 to do with videotaping Booger at the stag party. 1115 01:07:49,458 --> 01:07:51,834 Absolutely not. I wasn't even there. 1116 01:07:51,917 --> 01:07:54,041 Mm-hmm. 1117 01:07:54,125 --> 01:07:57,750 Aaron, if you don't participate in this wedding 1118 01:07:57,834 --> 01:08:00,750 and make your daughter proud of you, 1119 01:08:00,834 --> 01:08:02,542 I'm going to leave you. 1120 01:08:02,625 --> 01:08:05,208 You would leave me? 1121 01:08:05,291 --> 01:08:08,875 I have learned a lot from the nerds. Nerds speak their mind. 1122 01:08:08,959 --> 01:08:11,750 And from now on, I'm gonna speak my mind too. 1123 01:08:11,834 --> 01:08:15,458 If you don't support your daughter during this wedding, I'm outta here. 1124 01:08:15,542 --> 01:08:17,333 Fix your ascot. 1125 01:08:18,792 --> 01:08:21,709 It's not like I'm giving up that much. 1126 01:08:21,792 --> 01:08:23,667 What is that supposed to mean? 1127 01:08:24,166 --> 01:08:26,250 Aaron, 1128 01:08:26,333 --> 01:08:29,583 we haven't had sex since the Bush administration. 1129 01:08:29,667 --> 01:08:33,583 Well, it's, uh, hard to perform in that way when the Democrats are in power. 1130 01:08:33,667 --> 01:08:35,750 Ask any guy in this neighborhood. 1131 01:08:35,834 --> 01:08:38,417 That's why the sex hasn't been that hot lately. 1132 01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:41,625 Hot? I'd settle for lukewarm. 1133 01:08:41,709 --> 01:08:43,542 Zip your fly. 1134 01:08:45,166 --> 01:08:46,542 (zipper screeches) 1135 01:08:47,375 --> 01:08:49,125 Well, it's not all my fault. 1136 01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:51,959 How can I have sex when I have to spend all my time 1137 01:08:52,041 --> 01:08:55,291 fixing my ascot, zippering my fly and matching my socks? 1138 01:08:55,375 --> 01:08:58,417 I can't be perfect for you anymore, Tippy. 1139 01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:00,625 It's too much pressure. 1140 01:09:00,709 --> 01:09:04,625 Aaron. I thought I was helping you. 1141 01:09:04,709 --> 01:09:07,417 I know how much you wanna be accepted by the blue bloods, 1142 01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:10,834 but you don't ever have to be perfect for me. 1143 01:09:10,917 --> 01:09:15,291 -I don't? -No. 1144 01:09:15,375 --> 01:09:19,375 I just want you to be the imperfect animal I fell in love with. 1145 01:09:20,250 --> 01:09:22,500 You mean it? 1146 01:09:22,583 --> 01:09:25,333 Absolutely. 1147 01:09:25,417 --> 01:09:27,458 Tippy. 1148 01:09:27,542 --> 01:09:29,458 Aaron. 1149 01:09:29,542 --> 01:09:31,500 Oh, Tippy. 1150 01:09:31,583 --> 01:09:33,333 Aaron! 1151 01:09:33,417 --> 01:09:36,291 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1152 01:09:41,083 --> 01:09:44,291 MAN: ♪ Cupid ♪ 1153 01:09:44,375 --> 01:09:48,458 ♪ You've got the world upon a string ♪ 1154 01:09:48,542 --> 01:09:53,333 ♪ It's time for armored hearts to sing ♪ 1155 01:09:53,417 --> 01:09:57,417 ♪ So bless these sweet nerd lips ♪ 1156 01:09:59,375 --> 01:10:01,959 ♪ Cupid ♪ 1157 01:10:02,041 --> 01:10:07,166 ♪ Strike while your arrow's point is sharp ♪ 1158 01:10:07,250 --> 01:10:12,333 ♪ Play sweet melodies upon your harp ♪ 1159 01:10:12,417 --> 01:10:16,750 ♪ Make all their sweet little nerdy dreams come true ♪ 1160 01:10:18,625 --> 01:10:23,542 ♪ Give them one more chance ♪ 1161 01:10:23,625 --> 01:10:27,709 -♪ To breathe in romance -(guffawing) 1162 01:10:27,792 --> 01:10:29,834 ♪ Cupid ♪ 1163 01:10:29,917 --> 01:10:32,166 Hey, I don't know if you're enjoying your wedding, 1164 01:10:32,250 --> 01:10:35,333 but it's been the best time of my life. 1165 01:10:35,417 --> 01:10:37,875 Nerds. Who knew? 1166 01:10:37,959 --> 01:10:41,000 -Where are you? -Well, I'm over at Lois's. 1167 01:10:41,083 --> 01:10:44,041 Well, it's been special. 1168 01:10:44,125 --> 01:10:47,041 And thank God it's all going to end this afternoon. 1169 01:10:47,125 --> 01:10:49,834 It's all gonna end right now. 1170 01:10:50,792 --> 01:10:53,792 I'd like you to meet Heidi Dawson, your daughter. 1171 01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:57,667 Go. 1172 01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,041 -TIPPY: Oh, Aaron! -It's off! 1173 01:11:10,500 --> 01:11:12,083 (gasps) 1174 01:11:12,166 --> 01:11:13,125 -What's off? -What? 1175 01:11:13,208 --> 01:11:14,291 The wedding! 1176 01:11:15,375 --> 01:11:18,000 Booger's kid turned up. I told you there was a kid. 1177 01:11:23,542 --> 01:11:27,792 -Guys, the wedding is off. -(gasps) 1178 01:11:31,959 --> 01:11:34,250 It's not your fault. 1179 01:11:34,333 --> 01:11:37,709 You didn't do anything. You didn't ask to be born. 1180 01:11:39,250 --> 01:11:42,583 Would you like me to give you a push on those swings? 1181 01:11:42,667 --> 01:11:46,750 -No, thanks. -Mmm, I'm a pretty good swing pusher. 1182 01:11:46,834 --> 01:11:48,667 I could give you an over-the-top. 1183 01:11:48,750 --> 01:11:51,750 I'm too old to be pushed on the swings. 1184 01:11:51,834 --> 01:11:55,333 Oh, right. Yeah, you're too old for that. 1185 01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,458 I used to hate it when people treated me like a baby. 1186 01:11:59,542 --> 01:12:01,709 -You did? -Oh, yeah. 1187 01:12:02,375 --> 01:12:04,041 So what do you like to do? 1188 01:12:05,083 --> 01:12:07,166 I'm afraid to tell you because 1189 01:12:07,250 --> 01:12:10,667 if you don't like what I like, then you won't like me. 1190 01:12:14,333 --> 01:12:18,166 I think... I'm going to like you 1191 01:12:18,250 --> 01:12:20,125 no matter what you do, 1192 01:12:20,208 --> 01:12:23,041 as long as you live. 1193 01:12:23,625 --> 01:12:25,375 So there. 1194 01:12:27,583 --> 01:12:29,542 (tires squealing) 1195 01:12:38,208 --> 01:12:39,250 (car door closes) 1196 01:12:46,291 --> 01:12:50,291 -Booger. -I'm here to see Jeanie. 1197 01:12:50,375 --> 01:12:53,625 I'm sorry, Booger, but Jeanie doesn't wanna speak with you. 1198 01:12:53,709 --> 01:12:55,083 I would like her to tell me that. 1199 01:12:56,875 --> 01:13:00,709 Well, if she doesn't wanna talk with you, she can't very well tell you then, can she? 1200 01:13:00,792 --> 01:13:04,375 Mrs. Humphrey, I am trying to be civil, but now I am not asking. 1201 01:13:04,458 --> 01:13:06,583 I am demanding to see your daughter. 1202 01:13:06,667 --> 01:13:09,208 Oh, Booger. 1203 01:13:09,291 --> 01:13:11,083 I'm sorry. 1204 01:13:26,083 --> 01:13:28,542 Oh, honey, help him. 1205 01:13:28,625 --> 01:13:32,000 Booger, every wedding has its crisis. This is yours. 1206 01:13:34,417 --> 01:13:37,959 A crisis would be easy compared to this. 1207 01:13:45,291 --> 01:13:47,250 Jeanie! 1208 01:13:47,333 --> 01:13:49,333 Oh, Booger. 1209 01:13:53,375 --> 01:13:57,500 Booger, the groom never stops pursuing his bride. 1210 01:13:59,667 --> 01:14:00,834 Never. 1211 01:14:11,458 --> 01:14:14,291 Hey, pal. Hey! Hey! What are you doing? 1212 01:14:14,375 --> 01:14:16,834 Hey, wait, wait a minute! Hey, wait! (whistles) Hey! 1213 01:14:22,208 --> 01:14:24,709 (groans) 1214 01:14:32,375 --> 01:14:35,166 (grunting) 1215 01:14:37,750 --> 01:14:39,834 JEANIE: Oh. 1216 01:14:44,583 --> 01:14:47,500 (grunting) 1217 01:14:49,583 --> 01:14:50,583 (exhales) 1218 01:14:51,667 --> 01:14:54,166 -Booger! -Darling! 1219 01:14:54,250 --> 01:14:56,208 Whoa! 1220 01:14:59,208 --> 01:15:01,458 So what if I have a child. 1221 01:15:01,542 --> 01:15:04,792 I'm so confused. You know, I just I don't know what to think anymore. 1222 01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:07,125 Oh, marry me, Jeanie. 1223 01:15:07,208 --> 01:15:09,458 I just need a few days to think about it. 1224 01:15:09,542 --> 01:15:12,500 What, not get married on Valentine's Day? 1225 01:15:12,583 --> 01:15:15,667 I'm confused, Booger. I need time! 1226 01:15:15,750 --> 01:15:19,000 There was a time when getting married on Valentine's Day 1227 01:15:19,083 --> 01:15:22,208 was the most important thing in the world to us. 1228 01:15:25,375 --> 01:15:27,375 Please go, Booger. 1229 01:15:27,458 --> 01:15:29,458 Is that what you really want? 1230 01:15:31,083 --> 01:15:35,959 No. Not in my heart and not in my soul, 1231 01:15:36,041 --> 01:15:38,875 but... I'm just so nuts over this, you know. 1232 01:15:38,959 --> 01:15:42,458 It's like I just need a little space. 1233 01:15:42,542 --> 01:15:45,041 Please, Booger? 1234 01:16:07,083 --> 01:16:08,667 ♪ Jean ♪ 1235 01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:12,333 ♪ The roses ♪ 1236 01:16:12,417 --> 01:16:14,583 ♪ Are red ♪ 1237 01:16:17,458 --> 01:16:21,125 ♪ All the leaves have gone green ♪ 1238 01:16:25,625 --> 01:16:29,959 ♪ And the skies are so low ♪ 1239 01:16:31,542 --> 01:16:33,417 ♪ You can touch them ♪ 1240 01:16:33,500 --> 01:16:36,583 ♪ And so ♪ 1241 01:16:36,667 --> 01:16:39,750 BOTH: ♪ Come into my arms ♪ 1242 01:16:39,834 --> 01:16:43,291 ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪ 1243 01:16:43,375 --> 01:16:46,625 (giggling) 1244 01:16:47,875 --> 01:16:49,917 It's on! 1245 01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,291 BOTH: What's on? 1246 01:16:52,375 --> 01:16:54,458 The wedding! 1247 01:16:58,875 --> 01:17:00,792 Whoo-hoo! 1248 01:17:03,792 --> 01:17:07,083 (sighs) Ah, I'm so glad the wedding is still on. 1249 01:17:07,166 --> 01:17:09,792 I was so wrong about nerds. 1250 01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:12,333 You know, we nerds believe in forgiveness. 1251 01:17:14,208 --> 01:17:18,667 It's unreal how much you remind me of my friend Bing. 1252 01:17:21,166 --> 01:17:24,417 I've never met anyone quite like you, Lamar. 1253 01:17:24,500 --> 01:17:26,417 (giggles) 1254 01:17:26,500 --> 01:17:28,250 Well, I'll take that as a compliment. 1255 01:17:29,333 --> 01:17:30,834 It is. 1256 01:17:44,041 --> 01:17:46,208 -Lewis. -Booger. 1257 01:17:50,750 --> 01:17:53,083 I'm gonna marry Cathleen Turtletaub. 1258 01:17:54,792 --> 01:17:57,667 Who's Cathleen Turtletaub? 1259 01:17:57,750 --> 01:17:59,834 Heidi's mother. 1260 01:17:59,917 --> 01:18:03,333 But you don't even know Cathleen Turtletaub. 1261 01:18:03,417 --> 01:18:06,417 I know, but it's the right thing to do. 1262 01:18:17,583 --> 01:18:19,542 -(coughs) -(hisses) 1263 01:18:22,875 --> 01:18:25,583 This really isn't about Cathleen Turtletaub, is it? 1264 01:18:29,041 --> 01:18:31,250 No, it isn't. 1265 01:18:32,125 --> 01:18:35,583 This is about your zapatos becoming muy frío, no? 1266 01:18:36,083 --> 01:18:39,375 -Lewis. -Booger. 1267 01:18:39,458 --> 01:18:43,375 I didn't go through with it with the stripper last night. 1268 01:18:43,458 --> 01:18:46,917 -Oh, yeah, we know. -How do you know? 1269 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:49,041 (smacks lips) Well, we kind of figured it out 1270 01:18:49,125 --> 01:18:52,208 when we edited the videotape to ruin Chip's life. 1271 01:18:52,291 --> 01:18:55,250 Here I was passing up 1272 01:18:55,333 --> 01:18:58,834 this mound of perfect. 1273 01:18:58,917 --> 01:19:03,709 I, who have never passed up anything in my life. 1274 01:19:03,792 --> 01:19:07,875 What is the matter with me, Lewis? 1275 01:19:07,959 --> 01:19:10,208 Where has the Booger I have known 1276 01:19:10,291 --> 01:19:13,583 and loved... gone? 1277 01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:19,208 (clock chiming) 1278 01:19:22,834 --> 01:19:24,500 You ready? 1279 01:19:26,208 --> 01:19:27,125 Let's do it. 1280 01:19:27,208 --> 01:19:28,291 (glass hits table) 1281 01:19:32,500 --> 01:19:35,041 Please be my valentine. 1282 01:19:35,125 --> 01:19:39,208 You haven't given me a valentine in 10 years and this is what you come up with? 1283 01:19:39,291 --> 01:19:41,166 Pathetic! 1284 01:19:44,792 --> 01:19:46,834 (nervous chuckle) 1285 01:19:52,667 --> 01:19:55,125 (whimpers) 1286 01:19:55,208 --> 01:19:58,667 Aaron, Tippy, the food fight was a sensational idea! 1287 01:19:58,750 --> 01:20:01,875 I'm gonna use the nerd theme at my wedding. (guffaws) 1288 01:20:04,542 --> 01:20:05,875 Mylan. 1289 01:20:07,291 --> 01:20:10,917 I'm so sorry for all the trouble that you've experienced with this affair. 1290 01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:13,125 Thanks for coming to the wedding. 1291 01:20:13,208 --> 01:20:16,834 I do not care to judge you, Aaron, on the basis of the hell I've been through. 1292 01:20:16,917 --> 01:20:19,625 But I trust that it was merely a horrific aberration 1293 01:20:19,709 --> 01:20:22,500 and I expect the wedding to be quite different. 1294 01:20:26,041 --> 01:20:28,041 What? 1295 01:20:29,041 --> 01:20:31,667 Oh. 1296 01:20:31,750 --> 01:20:33,709 I, uh, trust that'll be enough. 1297 01:20:35,375 --> 01:20:38,792 Wouldn't have missed this wedding for the world. 1298 01:20:38,875 --> 01:20:41,792 LEWIS: Everybody, stand aside! Make way for the groom! 1299 01:20:41,875 --> 01:20:43,834 (horn beeping) 1300 01:20:43,917 --> 01:20:46,583 I would know that horn anywhere. 1301 01:20:51,917 --> 01:20:54,375 -LEWIS: Dad! -U.N.! 1302 01:20:54,458 --> 01:20:57,208 -Hey, how are you? -Hey! 1303 01:20:57,291 --> 01:20:59,000 -Congratulations. -Thank you. 1304 01:20:59,083 --> 01:21:01,959 I wouldn't miss a nerd wedding for the world. 1305 01:21:02,041 --> 01:21:04,375 -How are you? -Lewis, how are you? 1306 01:21:04,458 --> 01:21:07,375 -How's my unborn grandson? -You mean your unborn fetal son? 1307 01:21:07,458 --> 01:21:10,375 (both guffawing) 1308 01:21:10,458 --> 01:21:12,375 Emergency! Excuse, please. 1309 01:21:12,458 --> 01:21:14,375 The bishop has a kidney stone. 1310 01:21:14,458 --> 01:21:16,667 He no make it to wedding! 1311 01:21:16,750 --> 01:21:20,208 Wha-how am I supposed to get married without a clergyman? 1312 01:21:20,291 --> 01:21:23,166 -I can marry you. -But I don't love you. 1313 01:21:23,250 --> 01:21:26,375 Oh. No, no. I took a correspondence course. 1314 01:21:26,458 --> 01:21:28,750 I'm a fully ordained Tilhoonian minister. 1315 01:21:28,834 --> 01:21:31,375 -You are? -U.N. 1316 01:21:31,458 --> 01:21:33,291 (guffawing) 1317 01:21:43,333 --> 01:21:45,959 (guffawing continues) 1318 01:21:48,250 --> 01:21:52,125 ♪♪ (wedding music) 1319 01:22:01,792 --> 01:22:05,208 -Hi, Dad. -Shh. (clears throat) 1320 01:22:05,291 --> 01:22:07,208 -♪♪ (organ) -Sorry. 1321 01:22:07,291 --> 01:22:10,000 ♪♪ ("Wedding March") 1322 01:22:13,875 --> 01:22:17,709 (guests murmuring) 1323 01:22:17,792 --> 01:22:21,542 -WOMAN #1: Oh, she's just beautiful. -WOMAN #2: Isn't she? 1324 01:22:21,625 --> 01:22:25,208 I've never seen a nerd wedding I didn't cry at. 1325 01:22:25,291 --> 01:22:27,875 This is just fabulous! (crying) 1326 01:22:27,959 --> 01:22:29,792 What a weenie. 1327 01:22:33,959 --> 01:22:35,542 (shutter clicks) 1328 01:22:35,625 --> 01:22:37,625 -(all sigh) -Doesn't she look gorgeous? 1329 01:22:42,542 --> 01:22:45,500 (both crying) 1330 01:22:55,083 --> 01:22:57,500 (alarm blaring) 1331 01:22:59,041 --> 01:23:02,000 Lewis? 1332 01:23:03,542 --> 01:23:06,792 -Betty, you're having the baby! -Lewis! 1333 01:23:06,875 --> 01:23:10,083 -Oh. You're having the baby, honey. -Lewis. 1334 01:23:10,166 --> 01:23:13,959 Booger, quick. You guys. Lamar! Quick, come here! 1335 01:23:14,041 --> 01:23:16,625 LEWIS: Lamar. You guys. Booger. 1336 01:23:16,709 --> 01:23:18,333 -Lamar, quick, hurry! -BOOGER: Don't panic! 1337 01:23:18,417 --> 01:23:21,333 Ogre. Ogre. We gotta carry her. 1338 01:23:21,417 --> 01:23:23,458 Okay. Okay, here we go. 1339 01:23:23,542 --> 01:23:26,166 -LEWIS: That's it. Careful. -Okay, I got her. 1340 01:23:26,250 --> 01:23:29,792 -Okay, Lewey! Where, Lewey? -Come on. Follow me. 1341 01:23:29,875 --> 01:23:33,500 -ALL: (chattering) -OGRE: Where, Lewey? 1342 01:23:33,583 --> 01:23:36,333 (alarm continues blaring) 1343 01:23:36,417 --> 01:23:39,333 (alarm stops) 1344 01:23:39,417 --> 01:23:42,542 LEWIS: Ogre, here. Put her head right here in the chopped liver. 1345 01:23:42,625 --> 01:23:45,583 -Lewis! -WOMAN: She need an ice pack? 1346 01:23:47,125 --> 01:23:49,500 Betty, don't push. Don't push, Betty. 1347 01:23:49,583 --> 01:23:50,583 (groans) 1348 01:23:51,792 --> 01:23:53,500 ALL (chanting): Betty, don't push. Betty, don't push. 1349 01:23:53,583 --> 01:23:56,291 -Lewis! -Betty, don't push! Betty, don't push! 1350 01:23:56,375 --> 01:23:58,834 ALL (chanting): Eee-hee-hoo. 1351 01:24:04,792 --> 01:24:07,875 Eee-hee-hoo! Eee-hee-hoo! 1352 01:24:07,959 --> 01:24:10,500 BOOGER: Heidi, where are you going? 1353 01:24:11,166 --> 01:24:13,709 I shouldn't be here. 1354 01:24:13,792 --> 01:24:16,375 Of course you should be here. 1355 01:24:16,458 --> 01:24:20,750 I'm not really your daughter. Chip got me from an orphanage. 1356 01:24:23,667 --> 01:24:27,709 Chip got you in an orphanage? 1357 01:24:27,792 --> 01:24:29,667 (scoffs) 1358 01:24:31,291 --> 01:24:33,375 -You, um, -BETTY: (screaming) 1359 01:24:33,458 --> 01:24:35,542 rented an orphan? 1360 01:24:35,625 --> 01:24:38,583 Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. 1361 01:24:39,625 --> 01:24:42,375 And I've been under a lot of stress lately. 1362 01:24:42,458 --> 01:24:44,667 -I'm sorry. -(crying) 1363 01:24:46,667 --> 01:24:48,542 Daddy, don't! Don't! 1364 01:24:48,625 --> 01:24:49,583 -(smack) -Ooh! 1365 01:24:49,667 --> 01:24:51,917 -(grunts) -(chanting) Betty, don't push! 1366 01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:54,875 -(screams) -(chanting) Betty, don't scream! 1367 01:24:54,959 --> 01:24:58,875 -Get off our land. -(chanting continues) Betty, don't scream! 1368 01:24:58,959 --> 01:25:01,917 Aren't you forgetting something? 1369 01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:04,083 The keys to the B.M.W. 1370 01:25:04,166 --> 01:25:06,291 MAN: Cough 'em up. 1371 01:25:06,375 --> 01:25:10,166 -BETTY: (screaming) -Okay, honey! 1372 01:25:13,333 --> 01:25:17,667 -BETTY: It's all your fault, Lewis! -You nerds did this to me. 1373 01:25:19,458 --> 01:25:21,709 But I'll get you... 1374 01:25:21,792 --> 01:25:25,250 if it's the last thing I do! 1375 01:25:25,333 --> 01:25:28,125 -(grunting) -(laughing) 1376 01:25:28,208 --> 01:25:31,083 -Bye, Chip. -Hmph! 1377 01:25:31,166 --> 01:25:33,125 MAN: Bye, Chip. (laughter) 1378 01:25:33,208 --> 01:25:35,875 My next husband's going to be a nerd. 1379 01:25:40,834 --> 01:25:44,500 I, uh--I would like to make an announcement. 1380 01:25:44,583 --> 01:25:47,250 -(Betty screams) -I have, uh, 1381 01:25:48,375 --> 01:25:50,083 been a jerk for this whole wedding. 1382 01:25:50,166 --> 01:25:53,166 You certainly have. 1383 01:25:53,250 --> 01:25:55,417 Well, I've...I-I never been around a nerd before, 1384 01:25:55,500 --> 01:25:58,291 and I guess, uh-- 1385 01:25:58,375 --> 01:26:00,959 well, I guess I judged a book by its cover. 1386 01:26:01,041 --> 01:26:04,333 -(groaning) -Booger. 1387 01:26:06,166 --> 01:26:08,750 I know you and my Jeanie are gonna be very happy together 1388 01:26:08,834 --> 01:26:11,834 because you know what you are and you're proud of it. 1389 01:26:15,375 --> 01:26:17,125 Well, I'm, uh, 1390 01:26:17,208 --> 01:26:20,041 sick of trying to be something I'm not. 1391 01:26:20,125 --> 01:26:22,375 Come on! Push, honey, push! Push! 1392 01:26:22,458 --> 01:26:24,041 Tippy. 1393 01:26:24,125 --> 01:26:26,625 NERDS (chanting): Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! 1394 01:26:26,709 --> 01:26:30,000 -I-- -Push, Betty, push! 1395 01:26:30,083 --> 01:26:31,959 I-- 1396 01:26:34,458 --> 01:26:36,792 I am nouveau riche and I'm proud of it! 1397 01:26:40,750 --> 01:26:45,875 Mylan, if who I am isn't good enough for the Republican party of this state, 1398 01:26:45,959 --> 01:26:48,000 then to hell with the nomination! 1399 01:26:48,083 --> 01:26:51,000 -And that is the truth! -NERDS: Push, Betty, push! 1400 01:26:51,083 --> 01:26:54,000 The nerds have brought my man back. 1401 01:26:54,083 --> 01:26:56,041 WOMEN: Aw! 1402 01:26:56,125 --> 01:26:58,166 -(gasps) -(gasps) 1403 01:26:58,250 --> 01:27:00,375 -Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! -(screams) 1404 01:27:00,458 --> 01:27:03,709 -Push, Betty, push! -Wow. 1405 01:27:03,792 --> 01:27:07,125 Hey, hey, hey. Don't go. 1406 01:27:12,458 --> 01:27:15,542 What would you say if I said 1407 01:27:15,625 --> 01:27:18,542 we should adopt Heidi? 1408 01:27:18,625 --> 01:27:20,542 (Betty screams) 1409 01:27:20,625 --> 01:27:24,041 I would say that I love you even more than I already do, 1410 01:27:24,125 --> 01:27:26,792 and I didn't think that was possible. 1411 01:27:29,458 --> 01:27:32,208 You gave up what you wanted to tell the truth. 1412 01:27:32,291 --> 01:27:34,917 I really admire that quality in a person. 1413 01:27:35,000 --> 01:27:38,625 Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! 1414 01:27:38,709 --> 01:27:42,542 It's coming! It's coming, Betty! Come on. Push, honey, push! 1415 01:27:42,625 --> 01:27:45,333 -BETTY: (grunting) -(baby crying) 1416 01:27:47,834 --> 01:27:50,959 (crying continues) 1417 01:27:51,041 --> 01:27:54,750 Oh. Oh, it's so beautiful. 1418 01:27:54,834 --> 01:27:57,709 Our son is born. 1419 01:27:57,792 --> 01:28:00,041 Kunta Skolnick! 1420 01:28:08,166 --> 01:28:10,458 Behold the nerd child. 1421 01:28:15,000 --> 01:28:19,000 I see before me two souls who desire to be joined together. 1422 01:28:19,083 --> 01:28:21,166 There's no greater challenge in life, 1423 01:28:21,250 --> 01:28:25,417 and also, no greater reward. (guffaws) 1424 01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:28,166 (crying) 1425 01:28:30,417 --> 01:28:34,583 Do you, Dudley Dawson, take this woman, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, 1426 01:28:34,667 --> 01:28:36,542 to be your lawful wife? 1427 01:28:38,083 --> 01:28:41,125 Before I answer that, I just want to say 1428 01:28:41,208 --> 01:28:43,250 this is the happiest moment of my life. 1429 01:28:47,417 --> 01:28:48,875 I do. 1430 01:28:50,083 --> 01:28:52,500 And do you, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, take this man, Dudley Dawson, 1431 01:28:52,583 --> 01:28:54,583 to be your lawfully wedded husband? 1432 01:28:54,667 --> 01:28:56,542 Excuse me. 1433 01:28:58,375 --> 01:29:01,625 I'm going to love you till the end of time. 1434 01:29:01,709 --> 01:29:04,875 NERDS: (crying) 1435 01:29:04,959 --> 01:29:08,667 -I do. -Then with the power invested in me 1436 01:29:08,750 --> 01:29:12,667 by the Tilhoon Institute of Home Learning Church, 1437 01:29:12,750 --> 01:29:15,250 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1438 01:29:21,709 --> 01:29:23,792 (guffaws) 1439 01:29:25,542 --> 01:29:27,625 Ohh! 1440 01:29:34,542 --> 01:29:38,333 Nerds forever! Forever nerds! 1441 01:29:38,417 --> 01:29:42,208 Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! 1442 01:29:42,291 --> 01:29:46,083 GUESTS (chanting): Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! 1443 01:29:46,166 --> 01:29:49,125 ♪♪ (dance rock) 1444 01:29:53,083 --> 01:29:56,458 ♪♪ (singing in Japanese) 1445 01:29:57,750 --> 01:30:04,792 ♪♪ (continues singing in Japanese) 1446 01:30:06,792 --> 01:30:11,667 -♪♪ -(cheering, laughing) 1447 01:30:15,291 --> 01:30:17,583 Ooh, ooh, ooh. (laughing) 1448 01:30:23,333 --> 01:30:25,959 Oh, Aaron. 1449 01:30:26,834 --> 01:30:28,834 (singing in Japanese) 1450 01:30:30,792 --> 01:30:35,458 TAKASHI: (continues singing in Japanese) 1451 01:30:47,500 --> 01:30:51,417 ♪♪ 1452 01:30:51,500 --> 01:30:52,709 Woo! 1453 01:30:54,500 --> 01:30:55,834 Ya-hee! 1454 01:30:57,333 --> 01:30:58,333 (laughing) 1455 01:30:59,667 --> 01:31:03,166 -(cheering) -Muah! 1456 01:31:05,500 --> 01:31:09,792 ♪♪ (continues in Japanese) 1457 01:31:09,875 --> 01:31:14,125 TAKASHI (in English): ♪ Darling, I love you ♪ 1458 01:31:14,208 --> 01:31:17,125 ♪ Oh, darling ♪ 1459 01:31:17,208 --> 01:31:19,250 ♪ Darling, I love you ♪ 1460 01:31:19,333 --> 01:31:21,583 ♪ Love you ♪ 1461 01:31:22,542 --> 01:31:27,417 ♪ Darling ♪ 1462 01:31:27,500 --> 01:31:31,250 -(music stops) -(applauding, cheering) 1463 01:31:31,333 --> 01:31:34,208 Lewis, thanks for everything. 1464 01:31:36,375 --> 01:31:38,542 It's gonna be a great year. 1465 01:31:40,250 --> 01:31:43,333 (all guffawing) 1466 01:31:47,917 --> 01:31:49,834 (chattering) 1467 01:31:49,917 --> 01:31:51,709 Enhanced by Point.360 104871

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.