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1
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,551
- So I said, "if a robot
can feel pain,
2
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:08,652
I'm gonna make him feel pain."
3
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:09,753
- I totally get that.
4
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,688
- Why am I carrying
all the bags?
5
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:14,658
Welcome home, sir.
6
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,727
- Thank you, polite intruder.
7
00:00:16,751 --> 00:00:18,517
I'm gonna shoot you now.
8
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,652
- And you are welcome
to do so, sir.
9
00:00:20,755 --> 00:00:23,422
I'm aleister, your new valet.
10
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:24,601
- Surprise!
11
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,426
We picked him for you
after a trial by fire.
12
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:28,572
And lasers.
13
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,640
- And now these bags
are his problem.
14
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,744
- You are aware
that all my other valets
15
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,601
Were spectacular failures,
right?
16
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:36,813
- Two are still in the hospital.
17
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:40,406
- One. They moved cornelius
to a hospice.
18
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,708
- Perhaps a drink
will help us break the ice.
19
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:43,920
- A daiquiri?
20
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,778
Uh, one chance to impress,
21
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,591
And you're going with the drink
22
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:50,175
Of sad writers
and stupid teenagers?
23
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,651
Holy shit. That is good.
24
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:56,455
- Good? I'd swim in this.
25
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,637
- I'll fill the tub.
- And then fill me.
26
00:00:58,726 --> 00:00:59,903
With drinks!
27
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:00,826
Or, you know, whatever.
28
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,628
- Will there be
anything else, sir?
29
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,508
- Do you know
who you're replacing?
30
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:07,499
Woodhouse, the greatest,
most subservient valet
31
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,880
To ever shuffle his weary frame
across this planet.
32
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:12,438
Do you really think you
can outshine him
33
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:13,620
In being abused by me?
34
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,541
- I welcome
your evaluation, sir.
35
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:16,853
- Okay, favorite grade
of cashmere?
36
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,744
- Grade a
sheared mongolian goat.
37
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:20,590
- How would you press
a tweed suit?
38
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:21,792
- I'd press it into a trash can.
39
00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:23,660
- How should I rub sand
into your eyes
40
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:24,728
For maximum discomfort?
41
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,485
- Excellent question, sir.
42
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,754
Start coarse,
moving to finer grits,
43
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:32,791
Ending with the black sands
of vík í myrdal, iceland.
44
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,627
- Dang. Beach knowledge.
45
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,689
- Carol, don't interrupt
the test.
46
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,566
A gentlemen's duel.
47
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,646
- Really feels like
you're moving the goalposts.
48
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,636
I'll do my best, sir.
49
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,716
- Ha! Parry, parry, riposte!
50
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:47,951
- Capital defense.
51
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,876
- Sloppy balestra.
You call that a coupé?
52
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,711
- No, I call it a coulé.
53
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:55,681
- Ha, touché. And touché.
54
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:58,750
You guys, look!
It's like we're dancing.
55
00:01:58,853 --> 00:02:00,619
- Yeah, weird.
56
00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:07,659
Ha!
57
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,806
- Wow. Aleister, you're hired.
58
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,530
- Thank you, sir.
59
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,765
You would've had me
if it had not been for the leg.
60
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:16,735
I can suggest
some rehabilitation exercises.
61
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,704
- I'd...
62
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,086
I'd like that.
63
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,508
- Should we leave?
64
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:25,544
- I'm staying.
65
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,587
- Y'all, my cover was blown.
66
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:09,766
I made it into the jungle,
67
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,968
But it's only a matter of time
before my...
68
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,837
- Attention. Attention, please.
69
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:14,971
- Archer, come on!
- What the shit?
70
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,663
- Come on.
It was just getting good.
71
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,731
- What, ray dying in africa?
72
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,568
- For the love of god,
cheryl, call ray back.
73
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:23,835
- Now?
74
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:24,938
Ugh, fine.
75
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,572
- Good, now back to me...
76
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,674
- Is anyone else
worried about ray?
77
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:29,986
- Is anyone else
worried about how cyril
78
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,755
Is constantly in the office?
79
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:34,546
- Hey, I broke my arm
on a mission...
80
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:35,659
- I'll break the other one
81
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:36,993
If you don't shut up
for my announcement.
82
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:40,652
Okay, I found the valet
who will serve me until my,
83
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,588
Or more likely his, death.
84
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,657
- Wait, so you're not looking
for a valet anymore?
85
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,559
Excuse me.
86
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:52,998
Gentlemen, it's been an honor.
87
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:57,002
- He cleans like ten valets,
88
00:03:57,104 --> 00:04:00,772
He rearranged my entire closet
in a way that makes sense,
89
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,709
And I made him eat a bag
of potting soil as a test
90
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:04,888
And he was just like...
91
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,790
shall I open another bag, sir?
92
00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,692
- what is that accent?
93
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,683
- It sounds like boston to me.
- Or a speech impediment.
94
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,697
- It's a normal british voice,
all right?
95
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:14,898
I don't do it that well.
96
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:15,999
Aleister,
get in here and show them
97
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,033
Your normal british voice.
98
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,625
- Sir.
- That's my guy!
99
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,860
Guy, gang. Gang, guy.
100
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,873
Don't bother trying
to look him in the eye.
101
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,976
He's an expert
at averting his gaze.
102
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,666
Aleister, avert.
103
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,969
- And can we revert to ray?
Seriously, is he okay?
104
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,738
- Probably.
- Not.
105
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:33,939
- For your leg, sir.
106
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,708
I brought your rehabilitation
bands to the office
107
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,677
Since I know you'll lose
all interest at home.
108
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,746
- He knows my foibles.
109
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,008
- There's about 30 guys.
110
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:45,817
They got these crazy
fish boning knives...
111
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,064
- Damn it, sterling!
- Oh, I forgot the best part.
112
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,855
Aleister can make
eggs woodhouse.
113
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,924
- Maybe we should focus on ray
being gutted in the jungle.
114
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:55,927
- Maybe we should focus on your
obvious jealousy of aleister.
115
00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,976
- Wow. I honestly didn't know
it could do that.
116
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,040
- I took the liberty of
installing the beanbag round
117
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,069
As a nonlethal
office alternative.
118
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,149
- Ha-ha! Nonlethal violence
119
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,906
Is my second favorite kind!
120
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,928
- Enough! Cyril, go rescue ray.
121
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,810
His legs are valuable tech.
122
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:14,980
- Oh, I would love to fight
30 men with weird knives,
123
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,982
But, gosh darn it,
I'm out of commission.
124
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,618
- Yeah, when did you
break your arm?
125
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,788
- On the last mission?
- No, I was on that mission.
126
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:26,725
- I broke it right at the end,
after you finished missioning.
127
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,695
- Fine. Sterling, go rescue ray.
128
00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,075
- Not possible, mother.
I'm still breaking in aleister.
129
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:35,033
The first two weeks are crucial
for establishing dominance.
130
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,035
- Give me the jet
and I'll rescue him.
131
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,770
- Done.
132
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,050
- And I never even
named a beneficiary
133
00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:41,873
On my life insurance.
134
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,087
- So more recovery than rescue.
135
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,178
- At least that beach
behind him looks nice.
136
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,994
- God, does no one
in this office know
137
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,818
How to finish a sandwich?
138
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:53,930
- It would be my pleasure
139
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,832
To clean out
your refrigerator, ma'am.
140
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:56,866
- Phrasing?
141
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,991
- Oh, aleister.
Nice to see you again.
142
00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:01,893
- Please, allow me.
143
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,929
- No, I couldn't.
- Really?
144
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,998
You don't strike me as a woman
who can't do things.
145
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:10,702
- Oh, aleister!
146
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:11,804
You're bad.
147
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,905
- Am I interrupting something?
148
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,874
- I'm honestly not sure.
149
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:16,976
- Not at all, sir.
150
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,022
Would you like to squeeze
this lemon into my eyes?
151
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,157
- Uh, love where your head's
at aleister, but later.
152
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,815
Right now, I need you
to reload my cane.
153
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,818
- Right away, sir.
Ma'am, a pleasure.
154
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,821
- Likewise.
In terms of pleasure.
155
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,101
- Okay, mother,
156
00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:33,725
I'll only ask this incredibly
traumatic question once.
157
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,794
Are you into aleister?
158
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,029
- Don't be absurd.
He's your valet.
159
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,931
And yes, he's handsome
160
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,100
And I'm a woman
with powerful needs...
161
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:45,036
- Mother, it's okay.
Stop. I mean, gross.
162
00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:47,839
But you're right.
The man is perfect.
163
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,219
You'd have to be insane
not to want him to...
164
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:52,144
- Clean out your refrigerator?
165
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:55,147
Absolutely. Look at that grip.
166
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,127
He could twist a pineapple
in half.
167
00:06:57,151 --> 00:07:00,819
- But he's a gross servant
and it's totally forbidden.
168
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,132
Is how I'd get things going.
169
00:07:02,156 --> 00:07:04,089
- Can I help you, ladies?
170
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:07,726
- Just keep doing
what you're doing, aleister.
171
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,749
Since you're not going
on the mission,
172
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:11,951
You can handle my paperwork.
173
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,144
- But this is, like,
eight missions' worth.
174
00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:16,802
- Fine, you can go get stabbed
in a jungle.
175
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,047
- It'll be done
when you're back.
176
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:21,773
But let it be known
that I'm not happy about it.
177
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,987
- lana to the situation room.
178
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,877
If you're free.
179
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:29,147
- Oh, office work.
Can't get hurt by you.
180
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,938
- Sorry. Just testing the range.
181
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,066
Aleister, reload me.
- Don't reload him.
182
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,791
- Holy shit, aleister.
What was that?
183
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,038
- A technique
from my old employer,
184
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,062
General bernard montgomery.
185
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,931
- You knew the spartan general?
186
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,311
- old monty, yes.
187
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,135
He also enjoyed his manhattans.
188
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,971
Will you take yours
in your office, sir?
189
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,233
- Oh, I don't have an office.
190
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:57,008
I used to,
but it just kept blowing up.
191
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,221
- You do now.
192
00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,255
I took the liberty
193
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,880
Of repurposing
an unused storage space,
194
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,226
With your mother's approval,
of course.
195
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,884
- Seriously?
Cyril, did you just hear that?
196
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,920
I have an office!
Cyril, cyril, cyril!
197
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,823
- What?!
- I have an office.
198
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:12,958
In fiji.
199
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:13,959
- So?
200
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,894
- So what is ray's tracking chip
201
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:16,996
Doing in the pacific
202
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,164
If his body is dying
in an african jungle?
203
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,177
- I don't know.
Maybe they removed the chip.
204
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,868
- Well, that's
what I thought too.
205
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:25,170
But his secret second tracker
is also in fiji,
206
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:28,006
And that can't be removed
without killing the host.
207
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,086
- What?
- I mean, maybe someone can.
208
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,110
I certainly can't.
209
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,044
Anyway, I thought
I'd tell ms. Archer.
210
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,258
- No, no, no, no.
Uh, don't worry about it.
211
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,115
- Don't worry
about ray's trackers
212
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,017
Being on the opposite side
of the world
213
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,886
From where we think he is?
214
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,199
- Can you keep a secret?
215
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,190
- Did an entire breed
of chilean llamas
216
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:47,225
Go extinct two months ago?
217
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:50,061
- I... Don't know?
218
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,030
- Exactly!
219
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,002
What I always wanted.
220
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,248
Minus the bookshelf.
221
00:08:58,272 --> 00:09:00,016
Seems like a missed opportunity.
222
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,284
- In that case, you might enjoy
223
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:04,242
"mr. Boston's bartender guide."
224
00:09:05,279 --> 00:09:07,879
it's whimsically practical!
225
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:10,015
Uh, forget about the lemon
going in your eyes.
226
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,149
Put it in the cocktail.
227
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,951
I'm gonna go get cyril
228
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,187
So he can see how much
his office sucks next to mine.
229
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:17,889
- Very good, sir.
230
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,190
- Oh, and hey...
231
00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,859
I love you, aleister.
232
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,241
- And I you, sir.
233
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:31,136
I have infiltrated the agency
and achieved absolute trust.
234
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,906
The target will be dead
in 24 hours.
235
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:44,616
- Hello, aleister.
236
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,685
Did you really think
you could get away with it?
237
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,621
- Sir?
- You've got a secret.
238
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:52,591
You added something incredible
to my eggs woodhouse!
239
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:54,859
- That would be
the hungarian paprika, sir.
240
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,695
For an extra kick.
241
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,663
- Ha! An amazing kick!
242
00:09:58,765 --> 00:09:59,976
All right, I'm off to the office
243
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,800
Now that it's got
all the good booze.
244
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:05,737
- Uh, sir, I thought I might
prepare my specialty tonight,
245
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,572
Steak aleister.
246
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:08,851
If you make it home.
247
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:09,908
- Oh, I'll be here.
248
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,611
And if I'm not, heh,
I'm probably dead.
249
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,713
- Oh. very good, sir.
250
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:15,959
His smile,
251
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,749
It just lights up my whole day.
252
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,684
Hey, do you like my tie?
Aleister picked it.
253
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,898
- So is it gonna shoot me
or just electrocute me?
254
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,788
- Not everything
is about you, cyril.
255
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,935
- I deserve safety
in my workplace.
256
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:28,972
Was that an explosion?
257
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,862
- Yeah, of my schedule.
258
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,798
I bet aleister is good
at elevator repair.
259
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,012
- The phone's dead.
- The elevator's broken.
260
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,880
- But the phone runs
on a separate line.
261
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,816
It's part of the intricate
series of fail-safes
262
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,017
Built into all modern elevators.
263
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,986
This is sabotage!
264
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,846
- Yeah, again, of my schedule.
265
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:50,994
- Is the primary driving rope
266
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,795
Still threaded
through the car sheave?
267
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,853
- Oh, my god.
Cool it, alexander miles.
268
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,799
- I'm just trying
to save our lives.
269
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,134
- Well, try it
without showing off.
270
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,025
- Is the elevator cable okay?
271
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,826
- Was that so hard?
272
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,862
Oh, also... No.
273
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:05,997
Jump or die in a box, cyril.
274
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,899
- Jeezy pete.
275
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,941
- Oh, crap.
We're only on the third floor?
276
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,855
- Lost them over the waterfall,
277
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,890
But my left leg
is all messed up, and I...
278
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:21,991
- Ray.
- Just spent three hours...
279
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,726
- Ray!
- In a spider-filled ditch.
280
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:24,827
Ray! - What?
281
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:25,851
- Krieger knows.
282
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:26,996
- Oh.
283
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:29,966
So when are you guys
getting here?
284
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,724
- Eta at the resort
is six hours.
285
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,037
- I'll keep the mais tied
for you.
286
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,795
And, lady, you can't just
drop a towel on a chair
287
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,630
And be gone for hours.
288
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:42,000
- A fake rescue mission
as cover for a secret vacation.
289
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,869
It's just like
the good old days.
290
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,871
- And I hate it.
But, god, I need a break.
291
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:48,017
Ever since archer came back,
292
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,775
Things have been...
weird with robert.
293
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,855
- Aw, trouble
in billionaire-adise?
294
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,879
- No... hey, no!
I love being married.
295
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:55,992
- It's just that...
296
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,193
- It's just he's
constantly telling me
297
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,895
How to handle archer,
and I'm like,
298
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,163
"I know how to handle archer,
buddy, okay?
299
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,098
"I handled him for years
before I met you,
300
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,200
"and maybe, just maybe, I want
to complain about the guy
301
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:07,025
Without you trying to fix it!"
302
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,694
- So this place has bungalows?
303
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,040
- And we have
to keep it a secret.
304
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,108
Ow!
305
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:14,077
- Hey, lana.
- Keep what a secret?
306
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,768
- the obvious sabotage.
307
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,914
- Freak accident.
308
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,116
Elevators kill 27 people
a year, cyril.
309
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,806
That's more than fireworks.
310
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,948
- You seriously believe
that there was a spontaneous
311
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,811
Simultaneous failure of
the primary suspension cable,
312
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,813
The traveling cable,
the safety catch,
313
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,014
And the car roller guides?
314
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:31,683
- Yes?
315
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,785
- There's explosive residue
on the cables, archer!
316
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:34,997
- It's a spy agency.
317
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:37,822
There's explosive residue
on the coffeepot.
318
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,069
Okay, what's more likely,
319
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,893
That this was a freak accident
320
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:45,029
Or that someone wants to kill
the world's most annoying spy?
321
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,798
- No one's trying to kill me.
322
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,244
Also, rude people
don't get to sit
323
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,968
In my fancy new guest chair.
324
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,970
Move.
325
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,249
Whoa!
326
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,839
- Archer!
327
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,844
- I think someone's
trying to kill me.
328
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,057
What the hell are you doing?
329
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:03,014
- We couldn't let you
do this alone.
330
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,950
If ray's in trouble, I'm ready
to bust some coconuts.
331
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,897
- And I can scream so loud,
my own ears bleed.
332
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:08,931
Watch.
333
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,823
- No, nope.
Uh, I appreciate the offer.
334
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,170
This mission,
it's just too dangerous.
335
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,172
Oh, god, I just...
I hope ray doesn't die
336
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,174
During the time we waste
taking you back.
337
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,864
- Bula bula!
338
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,844
Hey, do y'all want
the tropical spa package?
339
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:24,002
'cause I gotta book that
in advaaance...
340
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:27,005
Of the enemy closing in
on my position!
341
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,040
- Too dangerous?
342
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,910
- Hey, danger takes many forms.
343
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,912
- We thought ray was maybe dead!
344
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,858
- Am I still turning
the plane around?
345
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:36,882
- Hell no.
346
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:40,084
Sea salt scrubs
and coconut cocktails!
347
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,964
How can you be shopping?
348
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,087
You nearly died!
349
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,267
And if you hadn't
taken the seat,
350
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:45,924
I probably would have died!
351
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,137
- Glass half full, my ruined
pants give me an excuse
352
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,106
To buy me and aleister
matching suits.
353
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,140
I wonder what color he wants.
354
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,275
- We shouldn't even be out
in public.
355
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:53,965
We're too exposed.
356
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,245
- Cyril, no one tries three
assassinations in one day.
357
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,829
It's unprofessional. Aleister?
358
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,105
- Yes, sir?
359
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,985
- I was wondering
about your suit preference
360
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:03,908
Vis-à-vis color.
361
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,121
Gun to my head, sir,
362
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,912
My ideal suit is gray,
363
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,914
Single-vent, three-button.
364
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,116
- Hey, man.
That's a great answer.
365
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,853
- Thank you. Good-bye, sir.
366
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,001
- Get down!
367
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,039
Huh, wha...
368
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,173
You said no one attempts
an assassination
369
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,897
Three times in one day!
370
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,210
- Aleister, are you okay?
371
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,245
It sounds like you're nearby.
Are you in danger?
372
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,282
- What if aleister
is the danger?
373
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:35,907
- Aleister?
Where are you right now?
374
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:40,111
- Look, it's great
that archer's awake.
375
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,124
- Absolutely.
- Hated that coma.
376
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,292
- But...
- Now when I look at him,
377
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,950
I see a fragile baby bird.
378
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,330
- First I repressed
my violent urges,
379
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:48,987
And now they're out again?
380
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,055
Pick a lane, cheryl or carol!
381
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,302
- And I flushed
four viable men today.
382
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,238
And I'm not ready
to talk about it.
383
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,272
- And he is getting in the way
384
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:59,063
Of my great relationship
with robert.
385
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,299
Okay, fine it's not great.
386
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,201
But sometimes you fake it
till you make it.
387
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,047
- Like how aleister
is pretending
388
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,205
To be archer's butler
so he can kill him?
389
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:16,047
- In her defense, she thinks
all butlers are murderers.
390
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,851
- Aleister, I'm home.
391
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:21,998
- Welcome back, sir.
I've been expecting you.
392
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:25,990
- Yes, I expect you have.
My very loyal valet.
393
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,092
- I took the liberty
of preparing an early meal
394
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,260
To calm your nerves.
395
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,930
Wow.
396
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:35,967
A delicious meal,
prepared fully out of my sight.
397
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:38,047
Perhaps, uh, you'd like
to take the first bite.
398
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,104
- Thank you, sir,
but it wouldn't be proper.
399
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:43,041
- Oh, aleister, it's proper
if I say it is.
400
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,143
- Indeed, sir.
401
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,312
Mmm, excellent.
402
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,013
And now you, sir,
403
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,949
Before it gets cold.
404
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,251
Terrible thing, that shooting
at the haberdashery.
405
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:56,254
- Mm, nothing I couldn't handle.
406
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:59,123
But I do have one small concern.
407
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:00,325
- And what's that, sir?
408
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:03,161
- I never told you
I was in the haberdashery.
409
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,202
Damn it!
You took my secret shotgun?
410
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,049
And had this floor waxed.
411
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,173
Wow, looks crazy shiny.
412
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:25,009
Oh, you know me so well.
I hate it.
413
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,211
- Just doing my job, sir.
414
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:30,399
- You haven't been doing
your rehabilitation exercises.
415
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:31,990
Pity.
416
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,958
- Good thing I have my cane.
417
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:37,028
How ironic, defeated by
the very beanbag round
418
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,407
I made you reload.
419
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,932
Apologies, sir.
420
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:44,302
It seems I forgot
to reload that round.
421
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,258
- Damn it. Why am I not dead?
422
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:57,562
First you break my heart,
423
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,562
And now you don't even have
the decency to kill me quickly?
424
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,464
Frankly, aleister,
it's very rude.
425
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,255
- I beg your pardon, sir,
but I'm not here to kill you.
426
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,457
I'm here to kill
the world's greatest spy.
427
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,559
- Yeah, I know.
Me, sterling archer.
428
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,606
Nice to meet slash be killed
by you.
429
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,463
- I wasn't referring to you.
430
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,378
So is it gonna shoot me
431
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,502
Or just electrocute me?
432
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:21,372
There's explosive residue
on the cables, archer!
433
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,452
I was wondering
about your suit preference
434
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:24,509
Vis-à-vis color.
435
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:27,345
Cyril figgis? - The very same.
436
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:30,314
He's managed to elude my more
subtle efforts all morning.
437
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,417
He's quite cunning.
- Cyril figgis?
438
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,497
The guy I sometimes
stab by accident?
439
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,454
- Who I intend
to stab on purpose
440
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,322
Once he comes here
to rescue you.
441
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:41,325
- Wait, I'm cyril bait?
- Indeed you are.
442
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:43,461
He was top agent
during your coma.
443
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,607
He won't let you die.
444
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,475
- Let me explain
something, aleister.
445
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,411
I create bait, I use bait,
446
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:51,302
And yes, sometimes
I accidentally shoot bait.
447
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:55,406
But I will never be bait
for cyril goddamn figgis.
448
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:04,515
And the steak aleister
was just adequate.
449
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:08,419
Whoo-hoo! Zip liiiine!
450
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,633
Boom goes the personnl
health-care form.
451
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,535
I'd like to see
a regular field agent
452
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,425
Fill these out in triplicate.
453
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,195
- Cyriiiiil!
- Archer.
454
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:20,198
What are you doing here
after normal business hours?
455
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,545
- I'm here during showdown hour.
456
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,202
- Oh, god, is this
an honor thing?
457
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,614
I'll just say
you have more honor.
458
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,516
- No, I need to defeat you
in battle
459
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,385
To prove
I'm the world's best spy
460
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,320
So aleister will try
and kill me.
461
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:34,278
- Aha, so your valet
is trying to kill you.
462
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,625
- Well, right now,
he's trying to kill you.
463
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,216
- What?
464
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,595
- But after I shoot you,
he'll try to kill me.
465
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,530
Keep up, cyril. Go get a weapon.
466
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,466
I've got a gun,
so probably a gun.
467
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,490
- I'm not gonna shoot you.
- Why not?
468
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:48,493
- For one thing, it's wrong.
Also, you've got a bad leg.
469
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,475
- Cyril, you're making
this more annoying
470
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:53,564
Than it needs to be.
471
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:56,334
So just don't shoot me!
472
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,302
- If I don't, aleister will.
473
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,404
Wouldn't you rather get shot
by someone you know,
474
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:01,672
Like me?
475
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,452
- Is there a no shooting option?
476
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,543
- Unfortunately, no.
477
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:06,755
- Pretty sure
shooting a coworker
478
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,546
Is an hr violation.
479
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,218
Cyril, we were in this elevator
480
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,631
When it exploded,
like, two hours ago.
481
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,355
How do you forget that?
482
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,567
Hey, I thought
you broke your arm.
483
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:19,668
- Well, I didn't.
484
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,537
I just wanted
to take a break from missions,
485
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:22,671
And I thought I had to hide it.
486
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,540
- Good instinct.
- But you know what?
487
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:25,741
I was good enough in the field
488
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:28,310
That some assassin thinks
I'm the world's best spy,
489
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,679
Which means I can do your job
and my office job.
490
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,648
And there's no shame
in choosing the office.
491
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,339
- Hmm, can we still say
that I beat you?
492
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,620
- I mean, technically
this shaft beat me.
493
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:39,710
- Phrasing.
- You win!
494
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,248
- Good, which means I am
officially the world's best...
495
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,461
ow!
496
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:47,251
- But not for long.
497
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,387
Last words
before I kill you both?
498
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,322
- Both? But he beat me.
499
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,601
- Making me
the world's best spy.
500
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,393
- Field spy.
I'm the top office spy.
501
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:56,672
- Sure. I don't care about that.
502
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,629
- Killing you both
seems easiest.
503
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:00,609
- Too bad I'm wearing
a bulletproof vest.
504
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,367
- Too bad I removed
all the armor plating.
505
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:06,370
- Oh, damn. That is too bad.
506
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:10,374
Wait, just one question.
Why use me to get to cyril?
507
00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:12,543
- Why?
Because you're best friends.
508
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:13,656
- What?
- Aww.
509
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,379
- I can't stand this guy.
510
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:16,692
- You spend hours a day
with him.
511
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,556
- True.
- We work together.
512
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,384
- You talk about him
more than anyone else.
513
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:21,497
- really?
514
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:23,465
- To criticize how stupid he is.
515
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:24,589
- Oh, please.
516
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,569
He was the first person
you told about your new office.
517
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,637
- Wow, you told me first?
- To spite you.
518
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,596
- We are best friends.
- Maybe I'm your best friend.
519
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:34,465
You're my worst... Stranger.
520
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,878
- It's a classic
odd couple fight.
521
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,569
- Okay, it's one thing to say
I'm not the world's best spy.
522
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,683
But saying
I'm cyril's best friend
523
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:43,541
Is an insult
that will not stand.
524
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:44,753
- That's a bit hurtful.
525
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,744
- You realize you've brought
a cane to a gunfight?
526
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,824
- I realize shooting
an unarmed guy
527
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:51,582
Would make you a huge loser.
528
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:52,717
- Touché.
529
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:55,753
Cool.
530
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,555
- Stop it. We're not friends.
531
00:20:57,657 --> 00:21:00,658
If you can kill me,
then you can kill cyril.
532
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,427
- What? Wait, he doesn't
have that power.
533
00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:04,562
- Very good, sir.
534
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,642
- You made me believe
I could love a valet again
535
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:09,433
And then besmirched
woodhouse's memory.
536
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:10,546
You besmirched!
537
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,490
- It was a job, sir.
- Not to me!
538
00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:13,572
- Not my concern.
539
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:21,445
- Well, you guys seem busy,
and I've got paperwork, so...
540
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:24,348
- It can wait! I'm sorry, sir.
541
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:25,561
Perhaps you should have kept up
542
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:27,518
With those
rehabilitation exercises.
543
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,587
- Oh, but I did.
544
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,460
Well driven, sir.
545
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:38,696
- God damn it.
It didn't have to be this way.
546
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:39,808
- It did.
547
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:43,501
But it wasn't just a job for me.
548
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:46,470
It was... A pleasure.
549
00:21:46,572 --> 00:21:48,739
- We'll always have
my reorganized closet.
550
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,841
- Yes, and if you'd like,
551
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:53,644
I can recommend another...
552
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:55,780
valet.
553
00:21:55,882 --> 00:21:59,717
- Shh. No, I'm done with valets.
554
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,820
Because no one
will ever top you.
555
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:06,691
And that steak aleister,
I-it wasn't just adequate.
556
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:09,493
It was goddamn perfect.
557
00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:13,664
Good-bye, aleister. -
558
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,768
- you... you taught...
559
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:21,505
You taught me to love again!
560
00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,887
- Where the hell is everybody?
561
00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:27,578
Holy crap.
562
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,780
Can we just live here?
563
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:30,748
- yeah!
564
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,494
What's their extradition policy?
565
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:33,762
- Yeah, it's pretty,
but a burger
566
00:22:33,786 --> 00:22:34,863
Costs, like, a million dollars.
567
00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:36,807
- I'll take four.
- Oh, shut up.
568
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:39,490
- And I'll take the big bedroom.
569
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:41,425
Oh, I'm sorry.
570
00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:45,563
The big bedroom
is already taken.
571
00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:09,920
- Made in georgia.
572
00:23:09,944 --> 00:23:11,944
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