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1
00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:12,612
Hello, Whitlock students.
I'm Mr. Pugh.
2
00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:15,248
And I'm very excited
to invite you
3
00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:16,683
to join the Toledo chapter
4
00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:19,185
of Ohio Naturalists.
5
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,254
The program offers
hands-on learning
6
00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:23,523
and a chance to become
a citizen scientist.
7
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:24,800
(BEE BUZZING)
Oh, hello, Mr. Bee.
8
00:00:24,824 --> 00:00:26,292
Oh.
9
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:27,436
Looks like somebody
wants to get on camera.
10
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:30,630
Uh, this year, we're going
on an overnight field trip
11
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:33,299
to Swan Creek
Preserve Metropark...
12
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,401
The bees are back.
Ah.
13
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,603
Brought a friend.
Or two.
14
00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:38,605
Uh, you know,
bees are actually...
15
00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:39,673
They're very friendly.
16
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,675
They... they know not to attack
17
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,743
unless they're feeling
threatened or...
18
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,612
(YELPS)
Bananas!
19
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,347
Got me.
20
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,882
Sometimes they get confused,
but...
21
00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,216
Owee.
22
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,584
(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)
23
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,688
Oh, well, uh...
24
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:58,391
We will, uh, embark
on a variety of activities.
25
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:01,227
Uh, from bird counts
to stream sampling.
26
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,730
Plant identi...
Please go away from...
27
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:04,764
(CRUNCHES)
28
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,233
Oh, no.
29
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,202
I stepped on a goose nest.
30
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:12,205
Oh.
Its babies.
31
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,674
I squished them.
Oh, no.
32
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,142
Go away!
33
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,778
♪ Next time,
I'll listen to my heart ♪
34
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,781
♪ Next time,
well, I'll be smart ♪
35
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,891
Aw, God.
Would you please stop?
36
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,393
I'm nice.
37
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,261
Mr. Pugh asked me
to edit that out,
38
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,297
but I do not know
how to do that.
39
00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:38,398
(BELL RINGING)
Okay, Rams.
40
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,766
Get ready to grab the day by...
41
00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:41,234
When you're in the wild,
42
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,812
if you need to heighten
your sense of smell,
43
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,904
you lick your fingers
and wet your nostrils.
44
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,240
Like so.
45
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,510
Like, if I'm a wolf?
46
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:53,346
And I wanna sniff out
a fat bunny?
47
00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,220
Hm.
48
00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,421
All right.
49
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,523
Begin shutting your mouths up.
50
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,558
I cannot believe
I'm saying this,
51
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:08,261
but Sarika is now my favorite.
52
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,597
Yeah... her aunt wants
to publish my book,
53
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,366
"The Pursuit of Happiness
Through Societal Regression."
54
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,301
We're meeting for dinner
tonight at Mansy's.
55
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,370
Mansy's is very romantic.
56
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:19,239
I took Sarah,
my college girlfriend, there.
57
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,940
Oh!
You gave her a name!
58
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,809
Nice!
But this is not a date.
59
00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:25,845
Besides, my aunt only goes
for guys who drive BMWs.
60
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,313
Not driver's ed cars.
61
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,983
And Heather's back
to being my favorite.
62
00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:31,785
Don't call it a comeback.
63
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,387
Okay.
Yeah.
64
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,222
So I guess the only question
that remains is
65
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:37,590
how should I pose for the photo
66
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,659
on the back cover
of my book, you know?
67
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,529
Oh.
Maybe I'll hold this skull.
68
00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:44,431
Like Hamlet.
You know?
69
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:45,999
But it'd be like
this child's skill,
70
00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:49,336
so my hands look bigger.
71
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,972
You know,
so my hands look bigger.
72
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,009
Right.
Let's hold off on that.
73
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,777
Oh, okay.
74
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,979
I read the first chapter
of your book.
75
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,748
You're clearly a good writer.
76
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,016
Oh.
Thanks.
77
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:05,251
Yeah, I write
to discover what I know.
78
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:08,021
That's Flannery O'Connor.
79
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,389
Cool.
80
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:12,392
Now, perhaps you've heard
of my client,
81
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,794
best-selling author,
Robin Schwonk.
82
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,297
The final book in his
"Rock Bottom" trilogy,
83
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:19,466
"Disgraced," is set to be
released in three weeks.
84
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,434
But he's having
a personal trauma,
85
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,303
and hasn't written it.
86
00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:25,638
His beloved Pekingese
has Psoriasis.
87
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:26,873
(SNORTS)
88
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,375
Sorry, the elbow rash stuff?
89
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,043
On a dog?
(LAUGHS)
90
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:32,579
We need "Disgraced" ASAP.
91
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:35,982
We have 50,000 pre-sales,
and I have spent the money.
92
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,418
I finally had my shoulders done.
93
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:40,520
Oh, good... good.
Yeah, no... sorry.
94
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:41,797
What does this have to do
with my book?
95
00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:43,656
This is your book.
96
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,825
I want you
to write "Disgraced."
97
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,861
Uh...
(SCOFFS)
98
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,663
"A brilliant but emotionally
stunted psychopath
99
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:52,732
"is disgraced and moves home
to the Midwest.
100
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,468
His intense shame
drives him to murder."
101
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,570
I mean, the main character
is basically you.
102
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,739
No, I... I don't relate
to that character at all.
103
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,909
Excuse me, sir.
Is this your child's skull?
104
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,745
It is.
105
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:06,846
I just got chills.
106
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,481
You're perfect.
107
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,684
Sarika told me you were
fired from Harvard,
108
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,353
and live in your
dead mother's apartment.
109
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:15,689
Townhome.
You are "Disgraced."
110
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,924
Sorry, I live in
my dead mother's townhome.
111
00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:19,693
You'll be paid, of course.
112
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,662
And if you nail this,
I will do everything I can
113
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,764
to get your book published.
114
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:28,968
Okay.
115
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,638
I'm in.
116
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:32,906
(CHUCKLING)
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
117
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,908
Oh, oh.
Shoulders.
118
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,976
Right.
(CHUCKLES)
119
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,345
(LAUGHING)
120
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:39,746
Oh.
Good morning, ladies.
121
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,348
(LAUGHS)
While you were out buying
122
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,950
paintings of wine bottles
at TJ Maxx,
123
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:47,020
I pulled one over on the rubes
who buy books at airports.
124
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,789
I wrote a Schwonk.
Whoa.
125
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,858
You wrote a book
for Robin Schwonk?
126
00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:52,959
Mm-hmm.
Dang.
127
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:55,929
I still remember reading
"Bone Freaks" when I was 13.
128
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,731
That's where I learned
the word "areola."
129
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:58,631
Oh.
130
00:04:58,665 --> 00:04:59,499
Anyway, I think you guys
are gonna be
131
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,001
the perfect audience
for this, I do.
132
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,002
Check... check this out.
133
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,436
"I woke up in a seedy motel."
134
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,738
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
135
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,640
"What was left of the desk
clerk stared back to me.
136
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,776
"Eyes vacant..." Oh, God, stop!
137
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,778
That's giving me
the creep sweats.
138
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,014
Hey, creep sweats are the
panties thrown on stage
139
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,148
of horror writing, so.
140
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:16,149
(LAUGHS)
Jesus, Jack.
141
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,617
It's 8:00 in the morning.
142
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,019
Yeah, oh, sorry.
I haven't slept.
143
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,653
Uh-uh.
You know what you see.
144
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:23,723
That is exactly why he's listed
in my "If I Go Missing" kit.
145
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,558
What's an "If I Go Missing" kit?
146
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,927
So it is a kit that
you make for the police
147
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,062
in case you go missing.
148
00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:31,531
And inside it has
all your passwords,
149
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:34,467
your DNA, a recent photo
of you for the news,
150
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:38,071
and a list of men you think
might wanna kill or kidnap you.
151
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:39,639
Every lady needs one.
152
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,174
Except me
because I'm microchipped.
153
00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:45,011
However, I did make
a "If Durbin Goes Missing" kit.
154
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,847
And just for your information,
it is in this drawer here.
155
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,049
And it is always locked.
156
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,184
Nope.
Not locked.
157
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:52,719
All right.
Let me show you.
158
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:53,853
ALL: Ooh.
159
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,889
Very top secret.
160
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,491
I've got a blood sample.
161
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,660
I won't tell you what hole
that came out of.
162
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,529
Michelle, the point is
163
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,931
you needed a kit
like yesterday, okay?
164
00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:06,733
Like, watch a "Dateline."
165
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,037
Well.
Kiddos.
166
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:14,040
This weekend, I crapped out
a Robin Schwonk novel.
167
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,209
(LAUGHS)
168
00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:18,611
Uh, all due respect, boss.
169
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:20,580
Robin Schwonk doesn't
use ghost writers.
170
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,182
Well, this is
a one-time thing, Heather.
171
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,484
He's in a dark place right now.
172
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,519
Apparently his dog.
Has Psoriasis
173
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,188
Millie?
Oh, no.
174
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,222
Mm-hmm.
175
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,825
(PHONE RINGING)
176
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,127
Hello?
Jack Griffin.
177
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,162
Hey.
Robin Schwonk.
178
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:39,065
I just finished reading
your draft of "Disgraced."
179
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,600
You did?
Great.
180
00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,002
(MOUTHING WORDS)
181
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,236
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
182
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,805
No let me ask you something.
183
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,241
Do you like messing with me?
184
00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:52,178
'Cause I just finished wiping
my ass with that pile of shit.
185
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,047
Have you even read
any of my trilogies?
186
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,849
'Cause this is nothing
like my work.
187
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,051
I'm not gonna put my name
on this, you little piggie!
188
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,219
Next.
Hold on.
189
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,854
Hello, sweetie.
190
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,589
I'm here to pick up
Psoriasis cream
191
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:05,158
for Millie Schwonk.
192
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:06,726
Say, where's Margaret anyway?
193
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,894
Oh!
There she is.
194
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,138
I didn't see you
back there, doll.
195
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,663
How are you?
196
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,099
Well, sweetie,
you look great with a tan.
197
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,901
Hawaii?
Oh, well.
198
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,236
I gotta change my line of work.
199
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,904
Hello?
Wh...
200
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,272
Yeah, Jackie.
201
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:21,074
Let's fix this.
Okay, bud?
202
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:21,941
Let's get it done.
203
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,610
Okay.
Bye-bye now.
204
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,212
Oh... (CALL DISCONNECTS)
205
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,981
Well.
206
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,517
There's eight hours of work
down the drain.
207
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,025
So he hated it, huh?
208
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,294
Well you did say you
crapped it out, so,
209
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,830
you know, that had me worried
since Jump Street.
210
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:46,266
Marcus, go stick your hand
in the window sill.
211
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,968
Dan, slam the window down on it
as hard as you can.
212
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,637
Okay, you know
I can't do that, Mr. G.
213
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:51,905
Come on, boss.
214
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,107
You gotta have thick skin
in the writing biz.
215
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,577
I have had ten stories rejected
by the "Whitlock Gazette,".
216
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,713
And I'm
"friends with the editor."
217
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:00,780
I told you.
218
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,682
We don't publish mature content.
219
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:03,850
(SIGHS)
Fact.
220
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,852
Two of the greatest minds
on the planet,
221
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,921
Schwonk and Griffin,
are teaming up.
222
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:10,557
And I, Heather Marie Willmore,
223
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:13,093
will be able to help them both.
224
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,128
We can fix this, comrade.
225
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,830
Let's do it for Millie.
226
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,131
Who's Mille again?
227
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,200
That's Schwonk's Psoriasis dog.
228
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:23,837
I think the millionaire's
ashy bitch is gonna be okay.
229
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,639
I have Psoriasis,
but no one's worried about me.
230
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,710
You all won't even look at me!
231
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,780
Look at me!
232
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,350
I did a lot of photos
233
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,785
for my "If I Go Missing" kit,
234
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,653
because let's be honest.
235
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,264
You don't know what state
you're gonna be in
236
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,890
if and when the police find you.
237
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,993
So, this is if I've been
missing in the woods
238
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,795
for a couple weeks.
Mm!
239
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,131
Here's if I've disappeared
from a cruise ship.
240
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,332
Oh.
Oh!
241
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,334
And this is if I get taken
242
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,036
from an award ceremony.
243
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,904
And if I'm found dead
at the ceremony.
244
00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,673
Oh.
Oh, cute, right?
245
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,751
Now, I went ahead and left
instructions for my funeral.
246
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,710
Oh.
Yes.
247
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:06,780
"First, my silky-voiced cousin
Reggie will read my eulogy.
248
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,214
"But if he's no longer with us,
249
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,050
"I guess my sister,
Angela, can do it.
250
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,718
"But please tell her to focus.
251
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:13,753
Because her S's
can be too lazy."
252
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:14,921
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
253
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,956
I can't even think of anyone
254
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,659
for my list of men who are
likely to kidnap or kill me.
255
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:20,860
I'm...
BOTH: Keith.
256
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,929
Like, 100% Keith.
Your husband, Keith.
257
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,073
Like, Keith would
absolutely kill you.
258
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,065
Keith will be the one
to murder you.
259
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,332
(BOTH LAUGH)
It'll be Keith.
260
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,634
In the dead of the night.
261
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,904
It's always the husband,
Michelle.
262
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,972
Um, just curious.
263
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:36,009
Uh, did one of you happen
to sneak into my email,
264
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,678
and send a funny
but hurtful message
265
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:39,955
to the whole school
from my account?
266
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:42,148
Oh.
You mean this email that says,
267
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,751
"I HAVE A DIRTY BUTT"
in call caps?
268
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,152
(ALL LAUGHING)
269
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,053
That's funny.
270
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,855
For the record,
my butt is very clean.
271
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,090
Okay?
Oh.
272
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,233
You know... you know
the commercial where...
273
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,959
Where the dirty dish gets dunked
274
00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:54,003
into the warm, soapy water,
275
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,962
and when it comes out,
all the food comes off?
276
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,797
Well, same situation back there.
277
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,666
It's spotless.
278
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,735
I... I'm a little cocky about it.
279
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,737
Durbs, you got hacked, okay?
280
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,672
You need to change
all of your passwords.
281
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,707
I'm locked out, okay?
Look.
282
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,885
If one of you is pranking me,
I'm totally cool with it.
283
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:12,078
I can take a dirty butt joke
as well as the next guy.
284
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,781
Maybe even better
because mine is so clean.
285
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,218
(ALL CHANTING)
Show us, show us,
286
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,086
show us, show us!
287
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,388
(LAUGHING)
288
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,856
I don't know.
289
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,266
I... I still feel like
he can kill the janitor
290
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,258
just for the hell of it.
291
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,861
No, if this is gonna be
a bona fide Schwonk,
292
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:30,230
the murder can't just be
a bad guy, boss.
293
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,332
He has to be possessed
by something.
294
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,901
Maybe he's possessed
by a dead altar boy.
295
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:37,437
I was for a while.
That's how I know Latin.
296
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,773
Spiritus cadem m...
297
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,841
Don't let her finish!
298
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,276
Okay, guys,
299
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,780
Robin Schwonk never vilifies
animals or children, okay?
300
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,315
He's not just a genius.
He is a good man.
301
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,984
Now think.
302
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,753
What is the killer possessed by?
303
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,755
It should be something
in nature.
304
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,891
Pinecone.
305
00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:00,093
What's that, Yuyao?
Pinecone?
306
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,796
Did you just say pinecone,
Yuyao?
307
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:03,897
Acorn.
308
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,298
Yuyao.
Oh, my God.
309
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,099
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
310
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:09,035
That's terrible.
Aww, Yuyao.
311
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,446
Still better than
what Marcus said though.
312
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,806
I didn't say anything yet.
I got it, okay.
313
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,507
What if the disgraced teacher
314
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,176
is swimming during a full moon,
315
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,279
and gets possessed
by a demon lake?
316
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,915
And then he gives the corpses
of his murder victims
317
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,416
to the lake as a gift.
318
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,118
Oh.
That's good.
319
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,387
Y'all are creepy as hell.
320
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,290
This is why I don't join
your Naturalists camping club.
321
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,093
I'd be getting a nice char
on my s'more.
322
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,160
And bam!
323
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,528
I get a hatchet to the neck.
324
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,364
(COUGHS)
325
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:41,901
That's good.
Write that down.
326
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,169
Yeah.
327
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,071
Can we please stop
summoning evil toward us?
328
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,307
That's it.
An evil tortoise.
329
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,175
He's possessed
by an evil tortoise.
330
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,543
(BELL RINGING)
Okay, this is good.
331
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:51,544
This is good stuff.
Yeah.
332
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:52,879
I mean, not the tortoise thing,
333
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,223
or anything Marcus
has been saying,
334
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,882
but, you know,
the Heather stuff.
335
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,951
Yeah.
Nice.
336
00:11:57,984 --> 00:12:00,186
(KEYBOARD PLAYING
THROUGH HEADPHONES)
337
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,489
♪ And please water my ferns
338
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,923
♪ When I go to Cabo
339
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,358
Hey.
Hey.
340
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:09,195
Sorry, uh, I've been sent
by the hacker.
341
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,463
(KEYBOARD PLAYS NOTE)
342
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:11,965
They get your passwords too?
343
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,134
He or she got into my Minecraft,
344
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,202
and broke my smoke cabin.
345
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,140
Did your wolves get out?
346
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,210
They said that the only way
for me to get my life back
347
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,312
is if I read you this note.
348
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,250
"Principal Durbin,
349
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,419
"If you want access
to your email,
350
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,120
"you have to let
351
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,123
"everyone in Ohio Naturalists
352
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,459
"go on the overnight field trip,
353
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:43,329
whether or not they have
a permission slip."
354
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,998
Damn it!
355
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:47,167
This psycho is asking
for my integrity.
356
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,070
Yeah, it's such a...
Such a bummer, huh?
357
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,205
You don't know what
they took from me, Vic.
358
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:55,542
20 years of precious emails
from my ex-wife, Brenda.
359
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:59,145
Including the one where she
accepted my marriage proposal.
360
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,281
There's gotta be
something I can do.
361
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,149
There's only one other option,
362
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:06,052
but it... it's too horrible
to even say.
363
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,287
(TENSE MUSIC)
364
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,422
During the announcements
tomorrow,
365
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,292
"You have to wash
your dirty butt
366
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:16,029
with the chemistry class's
eye-washing station."
367
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,431
The whole field trip
permission slip thing
368
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,066
doesn't sound that bad.
369
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,935
Like, comparatively.
370
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,004
Go now.
371
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,438
Leave me.
372
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,645
(SIGHS)
Morning, Heather.
373
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,248
I was up all night,
374
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,517
but I sent your changes
in at 6 a.m. and it's good.
375
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,918
It's really good.
376
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,162
I think Schwonk
is gonna love it.
377
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,055
And then it's on to my book, so.
378
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,157
(PHONE RINGING)
Oh.
379
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,659
All right.
It's your boy.
380
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:50,196
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Here we go.
381
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,532
Mr. Schwonk, what'd you think?
382
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,068
Hey, Jack!
I gotta tell you.
383
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,003
I am very impressed.
384
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,204
Very impressed.
385
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,348
In fact, I think you've invented
386
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,274
a whole new genre of literature.
387
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,010
And I would call it "shit lit!"
388
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,546
He gets possessed
by a demon lake?
389
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,581
What the hell is a demon lake?
390
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,317
Did an ignorant child
write this?
391
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:15,088
A lake isn't scary, 'cause
you can just get away from it.
392
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:17,957
A river.
Now, a river is scary.
393
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,360
Because it moves.
It follows you.
394
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,294
Oh!
395
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:22,705
And then the murderer
gets possessed
396
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,464
while he's swimming?
397
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,167
I already wrote that in my
"Underwater Demon" trilogy.
398
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,502
Why would I plagiarize myself,
you ass?
399
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:33,540
I'd be ruined!
This is donkey crap!
400
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,508
Okay.
Bye-bye now.
401
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,411
I forgot about the
"Underwater Demon" trilogy.
402
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,323
I don't know why I thought
my ideas were good enough.
403
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,682
No, your ideas are good.
Okay?
404
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,551
In fact,
they're too good for him.
405
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,252
So we're keeping the book,
all right?
406
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,487
Schwonk can't have it.
407
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,723
Excuse me, Jackie.
I'm still here.
408
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,258
Couldn't hang up 'cause
I'm eating a hard shell taco.
409
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,127
That's a two-handed operation.
410
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,996
(LAUGHS)
Jackie, baby.
411
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,264
Schwonk can't have it?
412
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:01,668
Schwonk gets
whatever Schwonk wants.
413
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,670
Nobody knows your name.
414
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,305
And they never will!
415
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,007
Oopsie.
Honey?
416
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,174
I'm gonna need a napkin.
417
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,110
No, Wendy, the meat's delicious.
418
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,444
It's just wet.
419
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:14,381
Jack, make it right,
and fix the bad parts!
420
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,283
Get this done or your little
book will never get published!
421
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:20,020
Oh, honey, I'm gonna
need another napkin.
422
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,187
All right.
Thanks, Jack.
423
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,023
Appreciate it.
Bye-bye now.
424
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,324
Bye-bye.
425
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,495
I'm sorry, boss.
426
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,196
I let you down.
427
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,232
(TENSE MUSIC)
428
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,039
Make it right
and fix the bad parts!
429
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:40,073
(DISTORTED)
Jackie.
430
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,675
Okay, bye-bye now.
431
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:42,676
(THUNDER CRACKS)
432
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,310
Keith!
433
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,179
Your husband, Keith.
100% Keith.
434
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:48,181
It's always the husband,
Michelle.
435
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,253
(ALL CHANTING)
Show us, show us, show us!
436
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,121
I have a dirty butt!
437
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,424
(LAUGHING)
438
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,670
I'm here to pick up
Psoriasis cream
439
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,729
for Millie Schwonk.
440
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,801
Did an ignorant child
write this?
441
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:11,504
This is donkey crap!
442
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,584
Love you.
Love you too.
443
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,157
Why would I plagiarize
myself, you ass?
444
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,593
I'd be ruined!
445
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,563
And then it's on to my book.
446
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,398
(THUNDER CRACKS)
447
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,200
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
448
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,635
(WHOOSH)
449
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,372
Is someone there?
450
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:46,706
(DRAMATIC STING)
451
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,241
Plagiarism, boss.
452
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:50,110
Jesus, Heather.
453
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,478
You need to use the doorbell.
454
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,813
He said no one
would ever know your name.
455
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,248
Let's prove him wrong.
456
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:58,151
Let's have Schwonk
plagiarize Griffin.
457
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,153
Yes.
That is brilliant.
458
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,255
It's a plagiarism time bomb.
459
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,457
When it explodes,
Schwonk will be ruined,
460
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,559
and the world
will know your name.
461
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:09,162
(THUNDER CRACKS)
462
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,331
(BELL RINGS)
463
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,236
Oh!
464
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,139
We out-Schwonk-ed
Schwonk last night.
465
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,442
We planted passages from
my book into his manuscript.
466
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,611
So as soon as he goes to print,
we'll expose him.
467
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,280
Mr. Griffin's name
will be everywhere.
468
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,249
His book will fly
off the shelves.
469
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,684
(CHUCKLES)
470
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,461
Well there's not really
a market for philosophy books.
471
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,121
If anything, Malcolm Gladwell's
sociology books
472
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,322
kind of scratch that itch,
473
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,324
but maybe I'm just
474
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,226
an outlier.
475
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,595
Anyone... can anyone please
476
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,898
slam Marcus's fingers
into the window sill?
477
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,266
Maybe I could.
478
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:49,235
Looks like you guys
have reached your
479
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,303
tipping point.
480
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,839
Oh.
(SIGHS)
481
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,240
(PHONE RINGING)
Oh.
482
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,318
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
483
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,409
Wait.
484
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:57,877
Ugh, it's Schwonk.
485
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,379
Um... Oh, put it on speaker.
486
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,414
Yeah Okay.
487
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:04,250
Ugh.
All right.
488
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,186
Hey, Jack.
Its Schwonk.
489
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,387
Great news.
490
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,222
You passed the test.
You won.
491
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,658
Won what?
Everything.
492
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,393
Well, that's why
I was so hard on you, son.
493
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,870
I had to make sure
you were up to the task.
494
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,396
Don't you get it?
495
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,831
You're Schwonk now.
496
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,499
Oh, uh...
497
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,401
Wow, this took a weird turn.
Um...
498
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,936
You're gonna write
a lot of novels,
499
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:25,238
and I can finally retire.
500
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,473
Sorry, hang on a second, Jack.
501
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,807
Excuse me, pal.
502
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,218
Get your hand out
of my freaking pocket.
503
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,610
Uh, Schwonk, you okay?
504
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:33,246
Hey, Jack, Christ, I think
I'm getting robbed here.
505
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,547
(STRUGGLING)
506
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:35,958
Don't fight it.
Just... just let them have...
507
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,560
All right, all right.
Take whatever you want.
508
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,219
That... no,
not the Psoriasis cream!
509
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,620
Jack, I gotta go.
510
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:41,897
Okay, buddy.
Remember... you're Schwonk now.
511
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,423
Okay, all right.
Talk soon, bye-bye.
512
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,491
No, no.
It's for my dog!
513
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:45,625
(CALL DISCONNECTS)
514
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:46,659
Of course.
515
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,962
He was pulling a Willy Wonka.
516
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:50,563
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
517
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,531
Huh.
518
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,433
Students and faculty.
519
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,968
You are about
to witness something
520
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,770
you will not be able to unsee.
521
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,939
Oh, no!
522
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,708
What I'm about to do,
523
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,511
I do to regain access
to the precious memories
524
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:05,945
in my hacked email account.
525
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:09,315
Memories which include,
but are not limited to,
526
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,484
a picture of me and my ex-wife
527
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,586
backstage with Adam Levine.
528
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,356
Adam was as gracious
as you would expect him to be.
529
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,725
Especially given
his legacy of musc...
530
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:19,926
Ralph.
531
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:22,328
The water is at temperature.
532
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,264
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
533
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:27,000
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
534
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,235
(EXHALES)
535
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,004
Wait, stop, stop!
It was me.
536
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,539
I'm the blackmailer.
537
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,483
I didn't think you would
actually go through with it.
538
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,875
Oh, thank God!
539
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:38,812
Show's over.
Grab the day by the horns!
540
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,747
Bye.
541
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,349
It was you?
542
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,351
But how did you do it?
543
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,919
Well, I asked Ms. Damarcus
544
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,587
for my homeroom
attendance folder,
545
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,489
and she gave me this.
546
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,524
It has, like,
all of your passwords in it.
547
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,560
(GASPS)
God.
548
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:54,694
It's all my fault.
549
00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:55,929
I'm so sorry, it's just...
550
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:58,698
My mom won't let me go on the
Ohio Naturalists field trip.
551
00:19:58,732 --> 00:20:00,572
And Mr. Pugh lets
boys and girls sleep together
552
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,901
in the same lodge.
553
00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:03,512
And you can zip your
sleeping bag up with a girl.
554
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,871
And if I don't go,
555
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:07,040
Eduardo might zip his
sleeping bag up with Grace's!
556
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,641
Oh, my God.
557
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:11,011
I didn't know Mr. Pugh
allowed teenage co-bagging.
558
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,879
That trip is cancelled!
559
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,815
(LAUGHS)
What an elegant solution.
560
00:20:15,849 --> 00:20:17,384
(LAUGHS)
561
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:20,286
Anyway, we cool?
562
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,988
No, we're not cool!
563
00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:25,425
You have in-school suspension.
Two weeks.
564
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:26,659
(BELL RINGS)
565
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,361
Hello.
Hey, hey, hey.
566
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:29,529
Look at this, kiddos.
567
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,398
Look... look what
Robin Schwonk sent.
568
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,799
His... his book came out.
569
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,035
So, you know, he sent us
a gift package.
570
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:38,872
He also texted me a, uh,
picture of his boat.
571
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:42,008
It said, "Feel free to use
the yacht anytime, Jackie.
572
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:43,677
Okay, gotta go.
Bye!"
573
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,545
Maybe no one will notice
the plagiarism.
574
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,915
(EXHALES)
575
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,093
You don't think anyone will
notice how the murderer talks?
576
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,652
Hm?
577
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:54,320
I wrapped my hands
around his neck.
578
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,356
He pleaded, "Help me, God."
579
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,358
I sneered, "God is a construct"
580
00:20:58,391 --> 00:20:59,559
"for those who must pretend
581
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,561
"that the minutia
of their daily patheticism
582
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,464
ends in a great
reward... Heaven."
583
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,466
Marcus's frail body went limp.
584
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:07,801
(PHONE RINGING)
Up, it's Schwonk.
585
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,102
Uh, okay.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
586
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:10,937
Hey.
So.
587
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,906
You tried to mount me.
588
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,507
But I caught ya.
589
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:15,675
Yeah.
590
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,110
I bought the rights
to your book.
591
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,945
(LAUGHS)
592
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,815
Yeah, you can't fool me 'cause
I'm a god damn fox, Jackie.
593
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,416
What?
Oh.
594
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,719
Hi.
Table for two, please.
595
00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:27,854
No, I didn't make a reservation.
596
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,622
What about that empty table
right there?
597
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,691
Okay, fine.
598
00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:33,360
We'll sit at the bar.
599
00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:35,128
Oh, the bar is booked.
600
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:38,598
Wendy, let's make
a little mess in this lobby.
601
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,600
Dump out all the dirt
from the plant.
602
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:41,868
Oh, it's bolted down.
603
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,737
Well just scoop it out
with your hands.
604
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,672
Oh, there is room at the bar?
605
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,073
Gee, how'd that happen?
606
00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:49,376
Honey, just scoop the dirt
back in with your hands.
607
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,643
Yeah, yeah.
We're coming.
608
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:51,811
We're coming!
Oh, my God.
609
00:21:51,845 --> 00:21:53,079
You know what, Jack?
610
00:21:53,113 --> 00:21:56,683
You could've been Schwonk,
and you blew it!
611
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:57,684
Wait... Okay?
612
00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:58,785
Talk soon.
Bye-bye.
613
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,854
(CALL DISCONNECTS)
614
00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:03,490
Well, so much for my book.
(SIGHS)
615
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:05,925
Or hanging out on a yacht.
616
00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:13,433
You stood by me, Captain.
617
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:16,069
You said my ideas were good.
618
00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:19,439
You're my number one hero.
619
00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:21,508
I know that's not a yacht,
620
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:23,677
but I hope it counts
for something.
621
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:25,178
(DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS, ENDS)
622
00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:26,513
(EXHALES)
623
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:27,647
See, Sarika?
624
00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:30,050
This is why Heather's
my favorite.
625
00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:32,752
Unless you have another aunt
in the publishing business?
626
00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:34,087
No.
Just the one?
627
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,855
Yeah.44055
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