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1
00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:08,384
Read it, Hannah.
2
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:09,973
Please, no.
3
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,180
- Hannah, just read it.
- Marnie doesn't want me to read it.
4
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,514
- Just read it.
- I need to hear...
5
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,100
To hear the honesty in your voice.
Just read it.
6
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,946
"Marnie has to stop whining
and break up with him already.
7
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:28,112
"Of course it will be painful,
but she's already in so much agony,
8
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:31,122
"stuck in a prison of his kindness."
9
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,997
- That's not necessarily a bad...
- Just finish, just finish.
10
00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:37,371
"Just because someone is kind
doesn't mean they're right.
11
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:40,754
"Better to end it now,
cut off the limb, and let the stump heal.
12
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:44,302
"He'll find someone else, someone who
appreciates his kind of smothering love."
13
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:45,504
Oh.
14
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,130
Nice.
15
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,516
Okay, I wish I'd never found it.
16
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:52,811
I do. I swear.
I wish I'd never found it, but I did.
17
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,062
You know? I did.
18
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,356
That is not my journal.
Those aren't my feelings.
19
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,274
No, they're Hannah's feelings
about your feelings.
20
00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,977
No, Hannah knows nothing.
21
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,859
It is a journal!
Why would she lie in the journal?
22
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,315
That is the point, is not to lie!
23
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,703
Okay, I don't want to split hairs here, but
it's actually not a journal, it's a notebook.
24
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:10,779
It's notes for a book.
25
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,535
So you want the whole fucking world
26
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:15,413
to hear all your valuable thoughts
about my relationship?
27
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,290
No, I'm just saying that
I feel that "journal" implies,
28
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,337
like, a 13-year-old girl who rides horses
29
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,461
and is obsessed with her mom.
It's just not what I'm doing.
30
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:24,510
It's not yours to write about, Hannah.
It's my life.
31
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:28,301
Okay, I deserve honesty and respect
32
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:31,179
because I am an important part
of this community.
33
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:32,805
What community?
34
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,683
The fucking community of this apartment.
35
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,689
- You are.
- You don't pay rent.
36
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:38,765
Shut up. You know what?
37
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,726
I wouldn't even want
to stay here if I wanted to.
38
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,520
You know what it's like
to not have me here?
39
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,147
- That's what that feels like.
- Holy shit!
40
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,607
- That's what that feels like.
- HANNAH: Oh, my God!
41
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,318
- Okay, I built this.
I built this fucking thing.
- MARNIE: You're being crazy.
42
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,654
That's the kind of thing
you do right before you hit us. Don't hit us!
43
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:54,206
- You're a dick. So are you.
- Charlie! Come back.
44
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,453
- You guys are fucking dicks.
- You really hurt me.
45
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,706
- My ankle knob and my knee!
- CHARLIE: Fuck you!
46
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,628
MARNIE: I did nothing wrong!
I didn't write it!
47
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,705
CHARLIE: That's funny.
48
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,086
- That's so true.
- Didn't fucking write it.
49
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,130
(SLAMS DOOR)
50
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,341
- Hey, Marnie?
- What?
51
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:14,097
If you had read the essay
and it wasn't about you,
52
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:15,928
do you think you would've liked it?
53
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,521
Just as, like, a piece of writing.
54
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,071
(INFINITY GUITARS PLAYING)
55
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,115
(SLURPS)
56
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,075
(SLURPS)
57
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,452
I'm gonna get him back.
58
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,084
I'm gonna put on my party dress
and my sorry face,
59
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,335
and I'm gonna get him back.
60
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,960
Are you sure that's what you want?
I mean, you didn't seem happy with him.
61
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,837
I'm definitely not happy now.
62
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,922
You've done real damage.
63
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,348
Okay, I didn't leave my notebook out.
64
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,391
He was snooping through all my stuff.
That's like a crime.
65
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,095
You said some really, really mean things
about our relationship.
66
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,772
But they were true.
67
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:04,397
Maybe you just can't see this that clearly
because you've never been loved this much.
68
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,152
Except by me. I love you that much.
69
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,698
Great.
70
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,151
And your dad, obviously.
71
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,329
And your boss.
72
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,323
I hate everyone who loves me.
73
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,876
He touches my butt, Chastity, Lesley...
74
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,703
But, like, mine kind of especially.
75
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,164
And then I'm 20 minutes late,
and he doesn't say anything about it.
76
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,965
So I'm not gonna complain
about the whole thing.
77
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,633
Okay, be honest.
78
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,757
You're sort of flattered by the whole thing.
79
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,555
I'm not flattered by sexual harassment.
80
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,974
Why not? I love that stuff.
81
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:40,392
"Sir, I have half a mind
to call the authorities. How dare you?"
82
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,063
You should hump him.
83
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,517
That is disgusting. I would never.
84
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:48,229
He would like that. I would never. Why?
85
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,608
For the story, Hannah.
86
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,324
Well, I can't fuck anyone
'cause I have a boyfriend.
87
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:53,909
- Who?
- Adam.
88
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,577
I told him everything.
89
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,906
How he was torturing me. How sad I was,
and he responded in such a lovely way.
90
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:02,539
He, like, kissed me and kissed me
and kissed me and he said,
"Be who you are."
91
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,085
And he touched my face.
92
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,163
And, like, we're basically together now.
93
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,498
Right.
94
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,835
Well, guys like that will try anything once.
95
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,587
Even love.
96
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,237
What color's that, awkward marine?
97
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,440
- Eggshell blue.
- Eggshell blue?
98
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,991
I like the way it finely clashes
with your mascara.
99
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,115
It just kind of aggressively clashes.
100
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,867
- Ray?
- Just finishing up with a customer here.
101
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,536
Just aggressively just clashing.
102
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,034
Bang, bang, bang. You have bangs, too.
103
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,203
- All right, let me know what you think.
- Ray.
104
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,546
I hope to God
no one thinks you're here to see me.
105
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,628
I am here to see you.
106
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,464
Look, I get you, okay?
107
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,385
I know what you're about,
and I don't like it.
108
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,881
- You don't like it?
- I don't like it, okay?
109
00:04:57,005 --> 00:05:00,475
I don't like it when you ass-fuck
my best friend in the heart.
110
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,886
I don't know what that means.
111
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,142
- Charlie's a good guy, okay?
- I know.
112
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:08,647
He's not some dick-hole
for you to toy around with.
113
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:09,977
Are you, like, in love with him?
114
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,779
More than you are.
Yeah, maybe I am. Okay?
115
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,401
And the last thing he needs
is more abuse from you.
116
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,157
- I know.
- You know?
117
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,325
- Yes.
- If you know,
118
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,743
then what the fuck
are you doing here right now?
119
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:20,995
I need his address.
120
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,656
You've never...
121
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,332
Been to his apartment, no.
122
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:27,161
I've never been to his apartment, okay?
So I need his address.
123
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,965
- Come on, Ray.
- Don't gesture like that.
124
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,758
Don't make a scene.
125
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,211
I'm only writing this down
because it's starting to smell
126
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,546
like a Bath & Body Works in here.
127
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:41,099
Typically, I'd ask for a blowjob
or something, but I don't even
want to hate-fuck you.
128
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,721
It's that real.
129
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:46,514
You shrink me up, balls right in my stomach.
130
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:47,643
What?
131
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,274
Good work, keep it up.
132
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:59,693
RICH: Chastity, sweetheart, would you show
Hannah how to break down a freaking box?
133
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,137
(BUZZES OPEN)
134
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:25,887
- You did all of this?
- Yeah.
135
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,767
I mean, well, Ray helped.
136
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,812
I am so impressed.
137
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,065
Seriously, it looks awesome in here.
138
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,363
It's like a Target ad. Perfect.
139
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,281
- A Target ad?
- Yeah.
140
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,108
Everything has a place. It's awesome.
141
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,819
Yeah, I know. I think it came out
pretty good, you're right.
142
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,829
It's not quite Target ad but...
143
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,658
Whatever.
144
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,169
I kept telling you.
145
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,871
I kept telling you to come over.
146
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,423
You never told me to come over here.
147
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,172
I did. I told you a bunch of times.
148
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:00,845
And then I stopped.
149
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,925
Well, it's not exactly easy for me
to get here from work, so...
150
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:07,056
It's not that hard.
I take the bus to the train.
151
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,354
Yeah, well, you never sleep here.
152
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,142
- So...
- Well, I will now.
153
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,487
JEFF: So, we'll be back around 7:00,
but if we're late,
154
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,693
just order pizza or some takeout...
155
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:24,986
Whoa.
156
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,947
You look fancy.
157
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,202
I'm going out,
158
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,249
but I will be back in time for the children.
159
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,206
Okay, where you going?
160
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,255
Um... To meet a friend from San Francisco.
161
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,875
Boyfriend?
162
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,837
Well, he was, but...
163
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:44,014
Actually, I don't even know
why he wants to see me. He dumped me.
164
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,387
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
165
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,932
I know, it's embarrassing.
What? You've never been dumped?
166
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:52,230
Are you kidding?
I always got dumped. I never dumped a girl.
167
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:53,519
Okay, you're lying.
168
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:56,192
Yeah, I'm lying because
I want to sound so cool.
169
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,895
KATHERINE: So those keys did not work
to the storage unit,
170
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,903
so we're just gonna have
to buy new boogie boards.
171
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,277
- Hi, everyone.
- Hi.
172
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:11,287
So this is where the party's at.
173
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,959
(ALL CHUCKLING AWKWARDLY)
174
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,287
I'm actually just leaving.
175
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,338
Jessa, is that Katherine's lipstick?
176
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,963
Don't be a tattletale, Jeff.
177
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:23,341
It's totally cool. I have like 15
from gift bags. They're free, so...
178
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:26,845
Yeah, okay, well...
179
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,300
- I'm leaving.
- Oh.
180
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,639
Where are you, um... Oh.
181
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,980
- See you, Jeff.
- Yeah. See you.
182
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,146
Look, we're not grown-ups.
183
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,020
We don't have kids.
184
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,606
- We don't share a house.
- But I love your house.
185
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,525
There's nothing keeping us together
186
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,452
other than the fact that we have
already been together for so long.
187
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,121
Look...
188
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:55,539
I'm...
189
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,586
I don't know what there is left to say.
190
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,834
You're not in love with me anymore.
191
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,798
(HEARTBEATS PLAYING)
192
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,808
Just breathe, okay?
193
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,056
- Just breathe.
- I'm breathing.
194
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:15,347
- Are you okay?
- I can't move. I'm stuck to this pole.
195
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,395
What did you eat? What did you drink?
196
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:20,102
I don't know, some guy... Him, that guy.
197
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:22,404
- What are those?
- Pot brownies.
198
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,777
- What's on them?
- Jell-O shots.
199
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:28,493
- Is the music going like... (VOCALIZES)
- Yes, yes, yes.
200
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,242
Do you feel like your heart's gonna
just fall out through your vagina?
201
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:34,116
Maybe I do. I don't... Yeah.
202
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,872
Oh, my God. I want one.
203
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,203
You're gonna be fine.
I'm gonna be here with you.
204
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:41,499
- I'm not leaving you.
- Thank you, I really appreciate this.
205
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,925
- Hannah, Hannah, I've been looking for you.
- Hi! Hi!
206
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,843
You did your makeup like I told you to.
207
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,592
- I love you.
- I love you.
208
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,672
Oh, my God, Marnie's stuck to this pole.
209
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,137
Why are you stuck to a pole?
210
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,969
I can't move. I'm very scared.
211
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,184
Oh, my God!
212
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,436
- Scissor Sisters!
- Scissor Sisters!
213
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,694
- No, I can't. She's stuck to the pole.
- She's stuck to a pole?
214
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,396
Will you be okay for five minutes?
215
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,402
Please, don't leave.
I don't feel comfortable.
216
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,441
- You're fine.
- You don't know that.
217
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,949
- I just want to dance for five minutes.
- Charlie, Charlie.
218
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,622
- Can you dance later?
- Marnie...
219
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,041
Watch this girl while
I go fuck my girlfriend.
220
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,329
- I'm not okay.
- Marnie, Charlie.
221
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,879
Charlie, just watch her.
222
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,718
- Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
223
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,056
- You all right?
- I'm scared.
224
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,434
I ate something, and I'm scared now.
225
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,763
Do you want something?
You want me to get you water or food?
226
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,223
I don't think there's food,
but I can get you some...
227
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,397
Can you give me a hug?
228
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,350
A hug? Like a hug?
229
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,694
Yeah, yeah.
230
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,316
- Up top? Like this?
- Yeah.
231
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:50,109
- How's that?
- That feels better.
232
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,906
Thank you.
233
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,997
Hey, if you're feeling
better in like an hour,
234
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,704
my band is playing right next door
if you wanna come.
235
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:04,710
Could you hug me again?
236
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:06,834
Yeah.
237
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:08,676
CHARLIE: Yeah.
238
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,879
You had these bangs and that headband.
239
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:15,058
And I swear to God you looked exactly
like this girl that I saw in this porn.
240
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,843
It was called Sophomore Sluts.
241
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:20,726
And I, literally, that night went back just
to check it out 'cause I swear it was you.
242
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,936
You watch porn?
243
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,568
Yeah, sometimes.
244
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,779
Why don't you just, like,
245
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,445
picture us having sex?
246
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,904
- I can't.
- Why not?
247
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,831
Because that makes me sadder.
248
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,846
The files you requested, Rich.
249
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:57,347
Thanks, hon.
Just plop them on the desk there.
250
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,432
- Plop.
- (CHUCKLES)
251
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,388
I'm gonna work through lunch.
252
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,019
Can I send you out for a sandwich?
253
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,892
- Yeah, of course you can.
- Thanks.
254
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,943
You can send me anywhere, anytime.
It's my job.
255
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,817
Great, so for a sandwich.
256
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,366
Turkey, rye, Russian dressing.
257
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,660
No tomato, though. I don't...
258
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,487
Be honest with me, Rich.
259
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,330
Okay, drop the sandwich stuff.
260
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,411
I know you want to fuck me.
261
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,459
I've been able to tell
since I first started working here.
262
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:30,251
And at first it was repulsive to me,
263
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,210
but now I'm game.
264
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:36,093
So I think we should just do this
before I change my mind.
265
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,053
I'm a married man, Hannah.
266
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:45,015
I've got a boyfriend.
You know what? Adults try things.
267
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,475
That's what I've learned.
268
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,025
We work together.
269
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,729
This is an inappropriate way
to talk to your employer.
270
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,814
Rich, you don't need to fight it.
271
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,654
I'm not, like, trying to frame you.
272
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:58,699
I am letting you know that it is
okay for you to act on this fantasy
273
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,034
because I am gross
274
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,991
and so are you.
275
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,918
(LAUGHS)
276
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,211
- I'm sorry.
- What?
277
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,842
- What is funny?
- Nothing, nothing.
278
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,561
I'm, like, making your fantasies come true.
Why are you laughing?
279
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:25,476
No, no, it's just... I mean...
280
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,308
What's going on with, you know...
Hannah.
281
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,735
What's going on is that
you kept acting like you wanted to fuck me,
282
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,562
- so I said you could fuck me.
- No, no, not at all.
283
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,694
No, I never... I never...
No, no. Please...
284
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,408
Hannah?
285
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:41,079
Hannah, wait, are you on drugs?
286
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,827
I could sue you, you know.
287
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,917
- Excuse me?
- I could sue you.
288
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,666
Chastity, Lesley, me...
289
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:52,170
Whole office, class action,
we go Erin Brockovich on your ass
290
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:55,252
in a way you would distinctly dis-enjoy.
We sue you.
291
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:58,797
Hannah, you barely have the wherewithal
292
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,599
to get to work at 10:00 a.m.,
let alone sue somebody.
293
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,018
There's no suing app on your iPhone.
294
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,812
Insult me, that's fine.
295
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,306
I'm quitting this job,
and it's for sexual reasons.
296
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,650
So why don't you write me
a check for 1,000 bucks
297
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,727
- And I drop the lawsuit.
- Jesus! (LAUGHING)
298
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,447
I'm sorry. No, Hannah.
299
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,944
- Please.
- Please what?
300
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,573
Listen, please don't quit.
301
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,529
We can get past this.
302
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,747
- You want to get past this?
- Yeah.
303
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:29,207
I just tried to fuck you,
sue you, and extort you.
304
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,458
I'm fucking nuts.
Why would you want me in your office?
305
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,047
Because you're great.
306
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:36,467
You don't know how to do anything,
but you have so much potential.
307
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,387
Think about it.
308
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,435
I'm so glad you're not my dad
or my boyfriend.
309
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,313
Hannah.
310
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,058
And someday, I'm gonna
write an essay about you,
311
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,652
and I am not gonna change your name.
312
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,654
And then you can sue me.
313
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:58,898
(DOOR SLAMS)
314
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,409
Are we really breaking up?
315
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:03,528
Why?
316
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:06,364
- You don't love me.
- I really love you.
317
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,415
You're not in love with me.
318
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,585
Well, are you in love with me?
319
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:13,004
- I don't care.
- How can you not care?
320
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,877
Because I decided on you.
Don't you get that?
321
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,500
I decided on you.
322
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,380
I don't want to go fucking other girls
323
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:23,215
and then walk around feeling thrilled
and then sad or empty or whatever.
324
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,801
I like the smell of your hair
and I like the sound of your voice
325
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,635
and I fucking decided on you.
326
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,891
- Charlie!
- Relax, I'm fine.
327
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,150
Please, don't break up with me.
328
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,068
Please don't, just don't.
329
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,692
I'll do whatever you ask, honestly. I will...
(SIGHS)
330
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,032
I'll kick Hannah out.
331
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:43,905
I can even move in here.
332
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:46,408
I'll answer your sister's IMs.
333
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,119
Do you want blowjobs?
334
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,541
Is that what you want?
335
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,001
I'll give you blowjobs, okay?
336
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:56,752
I will. I don't care. I'll do...
I will do whatever it takes, just...
337
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,925
Do not break up with me.
338
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,049
Please.
339
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:05,506
Hmm.
340
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:09,261
You rung me up just to say hello.
341
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,308
How did you know I was in New York?
342
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,185
Are you stalking me?
343
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,313
We are not gonna have sex.
344
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,737
Oh, no. We are not going to have sex.
345
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,775
Okay, I'm really serious.
I've been with Gillian for six months now.
346
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:27,158
I'm gonna move in next month.
So your whole sexy geisha outfit...
347
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:30,240
You are? That's a crazy thing to do.
348
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,616
Well, you know, she's 38-years-old.
349
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,497
She's actually ready
for a mature relationship, unlike...
350
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,044
She's 38?
351
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,089
She's old, like a mom.
352
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,923
- She's a publisher.
- Of what? Books?
353
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,338
Yeah, books.
354
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,720
She has a small press.
355
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:51,393
Have you ever looked into that?
356
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:55,440
'Cause she could just be, like,
running off copies at Kinko's
357
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,938
and saying that she has a press.
358
00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,811
And who's to say she actually has one?
359
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,780
- Are you jealous?
- No, I'm not jealous.
360
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:05,692
- Hmm.
- But what does strike me as odd
361
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,949
is that you're so keen on Gillian
and yet you're calling me.
362
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,621
Because I wanted to see you.
Because I wanted to see
363
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,073
what was happening with my old friend.
364
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:15,623
A girl that I used to date
in a very tumultuous relationship
365
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:18,504
in which one's Vespa
gets destroyed for no reason, gets...
366
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,123
- I did you a favor.
- ...rolled off a dock.
367
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,207
(CHUCKLES)
368
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,885
See, you're laughing.
I don't think it's funny. But that's fine.
369
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,383
I just want you to know that
I think you're special.
370
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:27,930
I think you're great.
I think you're beautiful.
371
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,303
You have a beautiful mind, a beautiful...
372
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:32,726
I just...
373
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,976
- You love Gillian.
- Yes, yes, yes.
374
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,856
- Gillian. Hard
- Gillian.
375
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,730
- I'm so sorry. Gillian.
- I'm really happy
376
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,190
- with my girlfriend.
- Really?
377
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,817
- Really.
- Really?
378
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,944
Really.
379
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,491
Really?
380
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,709
Jessa, Jessa.
381
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,216
(BOTH MOANING)
382
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,210
What about Gillian?
383
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,259
(DOOR OPENS)
384
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,469
(DOOR SLAMS)
385
00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:58,012
(SNEEZES)
386
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:01,189
Oh, my God!
387
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,693
Oh, my God, Shoshanna.
388
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:06,279
You're a batshit little perv.
389
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:10,366
I knew you were crazy, but fucking perv?
390
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,159
Oh, my God!
391
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:15,117
Okay, so just so you know what you just saw,
392
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:19,492
that was me showing that I cannot be emoted.
393
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,327
I am unsmotable.
394
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,706
You should probably write that down,
by the way.
395
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,582
(WHIMPERS)
396
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,424
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
397
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,351
Fucker.
398
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,474
- Yo, kid.
- Hey, grown-up.
399
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:46,189
You need to tell me next time
you're rolling through.
400
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,440
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
401
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,782
I wanted to tell you that
I actually just quit my job.
402
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,608
Didn't you already quit your job?
403
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,195
This is a different job
than the other one I quit,
404
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,826
and I did it because
there was a sex scandal in my office.
405
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:01,333
Sometimes you say shit that sounds made up.
406
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,702
I never make things up.
407
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,879
Yeah, well,
then everything bad happens to you.
408
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,757
Might need to face up to the fact
that you're just not meant for a job
409
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,379
in the traditional sense.
410
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,677
He has other plans for you and I.
411
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:15,757
Like what kind of plans?
412
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,801
What are you doing?
413
00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:21,095
(CHUCKLES)
414
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,930
What does it look like I'm doing?
415
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,145
- You shouldn't do that.
- Why?
416
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,360
Because we like...
417
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,271
Said we wouldn't... Or whatever.
418
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,783
- We did?
- Yeah, you did.
419
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:38,496
- When did I say that?
- Yesterday.
420
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,408
You told me
everything you want out of a relationship
421
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:43,993
and all the ways I was fucking you up.
422
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,794
You told me to lose your number
till Christmas.
423
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,755
- Yeah, but then you kissed me.
- You looked sad.
424
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:51,758
- Then we had sex.
- Because we were kissing.
425
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:54,924
Okay, I don't know what you're saying.
426
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,006
These things have an expiration date, okay?
427
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,676
Six months
or until someone stops having fun.
428
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,269
- But I'm having fun.
- No, you're not.
429
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:05,807
You're like all secretly sad.
430
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,188
And that's not cool for you
and it's not fun for me.
431
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,565
It's a bummer,
but people do outgrow each other.
432
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,480
Yeah, but I don't want to outgrow each other.
433
00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:15,112
Well, that's on you, kid.
'Cause I'm done growing.
434
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,196
I'm gonna use your bathroom.
435
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,080
Okay.
436
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:26,911
Also, I almost had sex
with someone else today.
437
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:30,540
Okay. What? Who?
438
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,046
My boss. My former boss.
439
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:34,802
That's the sex scandal
you were talking about?
440
00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,925
No, because I didn't do it.
441
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,381
But I maybe think I would have.
442
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:40,470
Uh...
443
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:41,596
Is he hot?
444
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,894
No, he's not hot. He's like 100 years old.
445
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,347
- Why, then?
- For the story.
446
00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:49,559
I don't know, just to be an asshole.
447
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:29,065
You can't do...
Hey, you can't do this to me anymore.
448
00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:30,982
I won't.
449
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:36,280
And, and, and be nicer to my friends.
450
00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:37,860
Okay, but just not Ray.
451
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:39,738
- Okay?
- Okay.
452
00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:41,744
Fuck.
453
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,405
- And, Marnie?
- Yeah?
454
00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:47,116
Act like my life is real. You know?
455
00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:49,627
'Cause my life is real.
456
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:51,295
- Okay.
- Okay.
457
00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:52,830
- I hear you.
- Okay.
458
00:22:52,955 --> 00:22:54,548
Okay.
459
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:57,547
Down she goes.
460
00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:02,469
Okay, I'm going.
461
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,137
Adam, I'm leaving.
462
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:11,432
Adam?
463
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,190
Okay, I'm still here.
464
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:20,736
So I don't know
if you thought that I was gone already,
465
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:23,490
- but I am still here.
- No, I know.
466
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:26,072
Okay, I'm sorry. I'll go now.
467
00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:27,828
And I'll see you when I see you.
468
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:30,535
Do you wanna stay until I finish?
469
00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:34,584
You know, for the story.
470
00:23:38,042 --> 00:23:39,715
Okay.
471
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,681
What should I do?
472
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,972
And don't abandon me, okay?
473
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,852
You know, don't
474
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:51,647
- make me feel safe and then abandon me.
- Okay.
475
00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:53,599
That's my dad.
I can't take any more of that in my life.
476
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:55,309
- Okay, I really can't.
- Okay.
477
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:56,902
Okay, come here. Kiss me, kiss me.
478
00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:01,774
- Keep your face close to mine.
- What?
479
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:03,029
- Keep your face close to mine.
- Okay.
480
00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:05,786
Okay. Okay. Okay.
481
00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:08,080
Stay, stay.
482
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:09,619
- Stay.
- Okay.
483
00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:11,200
Okay, stay.
484
00:24:12,368 --> 00:24:15,793
I love you. I love you.
485
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,463
- I can't...
- Oh!
486
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:21,543
Shh.
487
00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:23,963
- It's okay.
- Ow!
488
00:24:24,046 --> 00:24:25,514
- It's okay.
- Ow.
489
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:27,466
It's okay, I'm right here.
490
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,677
I'm right here. I'm right here.
491
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,309
Okay, I'm right here.
492
00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:34,891
I'm right here.
493
00:24:35,224 --> 00:24:36,942
I want to break up.
494
00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:49,371
Does it turn you on?
495
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:51,456
To watch me touch my own cock?
496
00:24:52,658 --> 00:24:53,750
Kind of, yeah.
497
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:57,126
Or does it disgust you?
Do you think I'm really bad?
498
00:24:57,913 --> 00:24:59,756
No, I don't think you're bad.
I mean, everyone does it...
499
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,880
Do you think I'm pathetic and disgusting?
500
00:25:04,253 --> 00:25:05,630
Yes, actually.
501
00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,723
You do, why? Why do you think that?
502
00:25:07,881 --> 00:25:10,259
Because there's a woman
standing less than 10 feet from you
503
00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:12,344
and all you can do is play
with your own cock.
504
00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:14,855
- Is it bad?
- Really bad.
505
00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:18,559
It's pathetic and bad
and disgusting and weird and lazy.
506
00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:20,610
Plus if you have a big cock,
you should use it on a woman.
507
00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,688
- It's not that big.
- It's not?
508
00:25:22,813 --> 00:25:25,032
No, maybe that's why
you don't want me to touch it.
509
00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:27,117
Maybe you're embarrassed
because it's not that big.
510
00:25:27,276 --> 00:25:28,493
Maybe.
511
00:25:29,236 --> 00:25:30,658
You like this? Having me watch you?
512
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,452
I do. I like it.
513
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:34,287
What do you like about it?
514
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,286
No, put your shit down.
515
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,668
Put it down. That's not what this is.
516
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,837
I want cab money.
517
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,173
What?
518
00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:52,135
You heard me, you filthy boy.
I want cab money.
519
00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:54,056
- How much?
- $20.
520
00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:57,727
$30, because I also want pizza and gum.
521
00:25:59,099 --> 00:26:00,567
Well, I keep my money in my drawer.
522
00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:02,520
Okay.
523
00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:05,322
Keep my fucking eye on you.
524
00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:10,824
- You only have hundreds.
- Fuck!
525
00:26:11,028 --> 00:26:13,656
- And I'm taking one.
- You are?
526
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,165
Yeah, I am.
527
00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:16,659
You're lucky I don't take all your money
528
00:26:16,784 --> 00:26:19,003
considering you made me
watch this all afternoon.
529
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:21,254
- I'm sorry.
- Are you sorry?
530
00:26:21,371 --> 00:26:23,044
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
- How sorry?
531
00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:27,135
- I'm really sorry.
- Why don't you say that to me again?
532
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:28,378
I'm sorry!
533
00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:30,180
Why don't you say that to me
again like you mean it?
534
00:26:30,339 --> 00:26:32,808
- I'm sorry!
- You like saying that. Say it again.
535
00:26:32,883 --> 00:26:34,806
- I'm sorry.
- Say it one more time!
536
00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:38,185
- I'm sorry!
- That's fine. Just hurry up.
537
00:26:39,473 --> 00:26:40,770
Do you want to step on my balls?
538
00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:42,226
Are you fucking kidding me?
539
00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:43,644
(GROANS)
540
00:26:58,784 --> 00:26:59,876
Shake my hand. (LAUGHS)
541
00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:05,711
(I DON'T LOVE ANYONE PLAYING)40298
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