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1
00:00:02,253 --> 00:00:04,420
♪ ♪
2
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:17,016
♪ ♪
3
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:25,190
Oh, I think you better stay home
from school, sweetie.
4
00:00:25,383 --> 00:00:26,674
I'm not at school?
5
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:29,753
No, honey.
And you should stay home.
6
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,196
Yes, Miss Hoover.
7
00:00:31,389 --> 00:00:33,181
I put some books beside the bed.
8
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,350
Will you test me on them later?
9
00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:38,762
Of course. And I won't even
give you any warning.
10
00:00:38,822 --> 00:00:41,040
I'd like that.
11
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:44,768
(grunts)
12
00:00:44,828 --> 00:00:46,378
Mm!
13
00:00:46,571 --> 00:00:48,505
(reading):
14
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,675
HOMER (reading):
15
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,413
Aw. Ooh!
16
00:00:57,508 --> 00:01:01,543
"Born near Florence, Italy,
in the year 1452,
17
00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:04,063
"Leonardo da Vinci
displayed a genius
18
00:01:04,256 --> 00:01:06,790
unmatched in human history."
19
00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:07,974
Extra, extra!
20
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,218
Renaissance begins today!
21
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:13,572
If you're gonna torture someone,
do it quick!
22
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:17,559
LISA: "As a child,
Lisanardo's gifts were evident"
23
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,744
Hey, sonny boy,
24
00:01:18,895 --> 00:01:22,155
I want you to be
just as talented as her.
25
00:01:22,308 --> 00:01:23,807
I made an Uffizi
26
00:01:23,867 --> 00:01:25,809
on the floor of the Farnese.
27
00:01:25,869 --> 00:01:27,828
Yeah, yeah.
That's, uh, that's great.
28
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:29,830
Lisanardo, did you finish
29
00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:33,317
that drawing of the suspect yet?
30
00:01:33,418 --> 00:01:34,885
Wow.
31
00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,930
Gee. That talented kid
32
00:01:38,123 --> 00:01:39,932
is gonna make you
a lot of money.
33
00:01:40,125 --> 00:01:41,767
- (cash register dings)
- We're rich!
34
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,419
Like Marge's tomato sauce.
35
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,421
- (grunts) Not until dinner.
- Oh!
36
00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:49,441
While we're celebrating
Saint Christopher,
37
00:01:49,634 --> 00:01:52,519
he help people
who get lost telling stories
38
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,429
find their way back
to the point.
39
00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:58,266
He was canonized
by Gregory the Inconvenient,
40
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,452
who shot him out of the cannon.
41
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,789
This was before
they discovered gunpowder,
42
00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:07,701
so they pulled the cannon
to a cliff and pointed down.
43
00:02:07,853 --> 00:02:09,461
But then he stayed in.
44
00:02:09,654 --> 00:02:13,023
They had to give him
an eviction notice.
45
00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:14,524
LISA:
"Florence, at the time,
46
00:02:14,585 --> 00:02:16,468
was at the start
of the Renaissance."
47
00:02:16,661 --> 00:02:19,529
Hey, you can never
be too careful.
48
00:02:19,548 --> 00:02:20,714
Aw, don't worry.
49
00:02:20,866 --> 00:02:22,866
Those Dark Ages
ain't never coming back.
50
00:02:22,926 --> 00:02:24,643
We got frescoes, we got spinach
51
00:02:24,836 --> 00:02:28,147
and this delicious new thing
called a pizza.
52
00:02:28,298 --> 00:02:30,515
I'm the original Ray.
53
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,985
Well, I am-a Famous Ray.
54
00:02:33,178 --> 00:02:34,302
Basta!
55
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:36,572
(overlapping shouting)
56
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:41,067
What about me, Little-a Caesar?
57
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:42,661
Pizza! Pizza!
58
00:02:42,854 --> 00:02:44,663
Ouchie! Ouchie!
59
00:02:44,856 --> 00:02:47,166
Et tu, Noidus?
60
00:02:47,359 --> 00:02:49,559
LISA: "Young Lisanardo
was soon an apprentice
61
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:51,986
"to the most famous artist
in Florence,
62
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,173
Andrea del Verrocchio."
63
00:02:54,324 --> 00:02:56,008
Whoever paints
the sweetest cherub
64
00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:59,403
will have the honor of having
my name signed on their work.
65
00:02:59,463 --> 00:03:01,430
That's what great artists do.
66
00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:05,684
Excellent, Barticelli.
67
00:03:05,877 --> 00:03:07,853
Very nice, Dolphatello.
68
00:03:08,046 --> 00:03:09,913
Ralphael, what is this?
69
00:03:09,973 --> 00:03:12,691
My foot hands are brushes.
70
00:03:12,884 --> 00:03:14,985
(laughing)
71
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:18,088
VEROCCHIO:
Jesus.
72
00:03:18,106 --> 00:03:21,182
Your little angels are
so much better than my Jesus.
73
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,518
- Is that wrong?
- (sighs) No.
74
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:26,430
Your genius has shown me
what a failure I am.
75
00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:29,249
I will never paint again.
76
00:03:30,494 --> 00:03:32,619
(cacophonous music playing)
77
00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:36,289
At least there are no geniuses
in here.
78
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,383
(playing classical music)
79
00:03:38,576 --> 00:03:40,677
(sighs)
80
00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:43,964
What?
We can't all be great.
81
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,449
Right, Mediocroto?
82
00:03:45,509 --> 00:03:48,209
Si. On every paper,
I get a C.
83
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:51,379
We don't want you in our class.
You're too much better than us.
84
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,291
Yeah, your gifts
come from heaven above.
85
00:03:54,351 --> 00:03:55,717
Uh, that's not true.
86
00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:58,128
♪ ♪
87
00:03:58,146 --> 00:04:00,054
Here's some more talent.
88
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,823
Not a good time.
89
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:07,153
♪ My gifts came down
from God above ♪
90
00:04:07,306 --> 00:04:11,475
♪ But talent
doesn't bring you love ♪
91
00:04:11,493 --> 00:04:15,921
♪ Although
my brilliant genius shone ♪
92
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:20,317
♪ My last supper was all alone ♪
93
00:04:20,377 --> 00:04:24,488
♪ In 1470. ♪
94
00:04:24,589 --> 00:04:26,014
(crying)
95
00:04:28,427 --> 00:04:31,436
If you can't beat 'em, kill 'em.
96
00:04:31,588 --> 00:04:34,164
Use your genius
to invent weapons of war,
97
00:04:34,224 --> 00:04:37,091
just like I'm gonna invent
the Charleston.
98
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,361
- ♪ ♪
- (scats)
99
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,857
Ow, my appendages!
100
00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,358
I'll show them all.
101
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,953
I'll show them all
in a secret diary
102
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:51,515
that no one will decipher
for 400 years.
103
00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:52,866
(church bell tolling)
104
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,351
(snores)
105
00:04:54,411 --> 00:04:55,685
(yawns)
106
00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:59,506
Oh, what to invent?
What to invent?
107
00:05:08,833 --> 00:05:10,216
Portable siege engines.
108
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,202
Flamethrowing mirrors.
109
00:05:12,220 --> 00:05:14,313
A waterpowered stabbing wheel.
110
00:05:14,506 --> 00:05:16,389
Hmm. With these,
we could kill
111
00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:18,058
the most evil people
in the world:
112
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,569
slightly different Christians.
113
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:28,218
- MAN: Ow!
- This is your true masterpiece.
114
00:05:28,236 --> 00:05:30,070
Why did you kill us?
115
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,288
Scusi.
116
00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:34,374
Ow! Ow! Ow!
117
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,377
Ooh.
118
00:05:39,364 --> 00:05:41,173
I'm going to kill you all.
119
00:05:41,366 --> 00:05:43,416
It's my only pathway to pope.
120
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:45,418
Cardinals suck.
121
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,995
Go, Cubs!
122
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,589
"Lisanardo had learned
123
00:05:49,741 --> 00:05:52,184
"that using her intellect
for war was blasphemy
124
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:55,854
"but using it for art
would make it endure forever.
125
00:05:56,047 --> 00:05:59,674
She escaped to France
and retired in happiness."
126
00:06:00,644 --> 00:06:03,528
I'll be out in a sec.
Keep the engine running.
127
00:06:03,721 --> 00:06:06,272
(grunting)
128
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,182
Lisanardo,
I have many questions.
129
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,276
Why are you hitting yourself?
130
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,429
A nerd says what?
And how is it possible
131
00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:16,208
that I am rubber and you are
glue, et cetera, et cetera?
132
00:06:16,401 --> 00:06:18,210
I will answer all questions
133
00:06:18,403 --> 00:06:22,272
just as soon as I finish
my masterpiece, my king.
134
00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:26,051
♪ Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa ♪
135
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:29,888
♪ Men have named you ♪
136
00:06:30,039 --> 00:06:33,617
♪ You're so like the lady
with the mystic smile. ♪
137
00:06:33,635 --> 00:06:36,620
Well, if this doesn't get
Ron Howard to direct,
138
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,188
I don't know what will.
139
00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:44,238
Real humble, Lis, making
yourself into Leonardo da Vinci.
140
00:06:44,262 --> 00:06:45,904
Shouldn't you be in school?
141
00:06:46,097 --> 00:06:47,388
Eh, it was art, which I hate.
142
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:49,482
Well, if you hate
the formal study of art,
143
00:06:49,635 --> 00:06:51,651
you're just like another artist
I'd like to discuss
144
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,228
who also had trouble
with the Academy.
145
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,730
You must have a fever,
146
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,708
because that segue was sweaty.
147
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,404
Unimaginative and boring.
148
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:04,923
A.
149
00:07:05,074 --> 00:07:07,092
Milhouse, this has nothing
I haven't seen before.
150
00:07:07,243 --> 00:07:08,334
A-plus.
151
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:09,577
Bart, you've really
made me think.
152
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,913
How dare you?
F-minus.
153
00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:13,557
(grumbles)
154
00:07:15,552 --> 00:07:17,343
(kids laugh)
155
00:07:17,496 --> 00:07:19,512
(laughs)
Oh, a single entendre,
156
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,848
the most complicated joke
there is.
157
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,257
Class, settle, please,
158
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,798
because today
we have a special treat:
159
00:07:24,969 --> 00:07:27,779
a visit from Paris'
leading Bacchus model.
160
00:07:27,972 --> 00:07:30,282
Sorry I'm late.
As a supermodel,
161
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:33,452
I have to be eating
and drinking all day.
162
00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:34,769
(burps)
163
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,456
You prefer robe open
or robe off?
164
00:07:37,649 --> 00:07:40,441
Uh, just cover your privates
with this walnut shell.
165
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,869
Whoa, so roomy.
166
00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,187
Mm-hmm...
167
00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:46,372
Gah!
That looks nothing like him.
168
00:07:46,525 --> 00:07:48,469
And it shouldn't. We're making
the art that we feel
169
00:07:48,493 --> 00:07:50,135
because we can't compete
with a camera,
170
00:07:50,286 --> 00:07:52,971
especially
modern compact cameras.
171
00:07:53,164 --> 00:07:56,290
Please hold still for 17 hours.
172
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,143
Since you refuse
to paint the still life,
173
00:07:58,294 --> 00:08:00,353
you'll become the still life.
174
00:08:02,224 --> 00:08:03,690
Foie gras!
175
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,402
("Orpheus in the Underworld:
Can Can" playing)
176
00:08:09,773 --> 00:08:14,117
This epoque just gets beller
and beller.
177
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:16,661
Who is that kid?
178
00:08:16,854 --> 00:08:18,238
I am Toulouse-Moetrec,
179
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,148
the chronicler of the demimonde.
(chuckles)
180
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:23,585
I keep liquor in my cane.
181
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:28,423
Not very efficient.
Really not.
182
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:32,636
ROOSTER:
Coq au vin, au vin!
183
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,926
This is the greatest thing
I've ever seen,
184
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,095
and I have seen, like,
five things!
185
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,505
You, my friend.
You are a genius!
186
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:48,026
Maybe we should stop
slavishly following the teacher
187
00:08:48,219 --> 00:08:49,844
and use our own minds
188
00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:52,105
to slavishly follow Bart.
189
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,439
To the easels.
190
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:57,869
All right, time to do
my first self-portrait.
191
00:08:58,062 --> 00:09:01,355
Time to look in a mirror
for the first time in my life.
192
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,117
I can only assume
that I am beautiful.
193
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,952
All right, here we go.
194
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:07,712
Looking now.
195
00:09:07,864 --> 00:09:09,422
(screams)
196
00:09:13,128 --> 00:09:14,719
(chuckles):
Oh, don't worry, sir.
197
00:09:14,912 --> 00:09:16,924
You won't see anything here
that'll encourage debate,
198
00:09:16,948 --> 00:09:19,373
provoke thought or be out
of place in a dentist's office.
199
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,059
Ah, well,
I'm sure this will have
200
00:09:21,252 --> 00:09:24,521
a definite je ne sais quoi?!
201
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,715
Ugh! Oh!
202
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,218
The emperor is coming here
to look at this artwork today.
203
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,980
His Majesty will feed us
to the guillotine!
204
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,057
That hasn't been used in years.
205
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,076
No one even remembers
how to work it.
206
00:09:38,269 --> 00:09:41,228
Pull up, let go.
How hard can that be?
207
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,396
(groans)
208
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,365
Mon cher, le superintendent,
209
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:47,919
which of our works will you be
entering into the royal Salon?
210
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,922
None.
You are all refusés.
211
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,615
What about our student loans?
212
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,076
Oh, they'll be refunded.
We are not barbarians.
213
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,636
I mean, uh, come on.
214
00:09:56,788 --> 00:09:59,823
Oh, if only we could get our art
in front of the emperor.
215
00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:02,934
Monarchs love challenges
to the established order.
216
00:10:03,127 --> 00:10:05,270
No, no.
But there is one thing
217
00:10:05,421 --> 00:10:07,254
the emperor loves
more than anything.
218
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,715
- France?
- No, he hates France.
219
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,943
But he loves cheese.
220
00:10:12,136 --> 00:10:15,429
Look who he appointed
mayor of Toulon.
221
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,490
♪ ♪
222
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,016
- Hmm.
- Do we have a winner?
223
00:10:27,118 --> 00:10:29,276
Keep your pants on, Moulin Huge.
224
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:33,506
There are 44 more galleries
of mediocre art to judge.
225
00:10:34,526 --> 00:10:36,450
What is that cheese doing?
226
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:39,120
Oh, you know French cheese.
Very runny.
227
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,031
I warned them not to make cheese
into wheels.
228
00:10:42,092 --> 00:10:43,867
Cubes were fine.
229
00:10:43,927 --> 00:10:45,869
I get motion sickness,
230
00:10:45,929 --> 00:10:48,129
and I'm lactose intolerant.
231
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:50,982
Hurry.
He's biting his way in!
232
00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:55,278
What the...
233
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,491
Aw, once again,
234
00:10:59,684 --> 00:11:03,219
I have just cheese
that is not cheese.
235
00:11:03,238 --> 00:11:05,054
Your Majesty,
if you'll take a seat,
236
00:11:05,115 --> 00:11:07,481
we'll show you something
really special,
237
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:10,410
a transformation of art
from a rote copying of nature
238
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,653
into the experiences, ideas,
239
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,339
and mind of the artist.
240
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:17,342
You had me at "take a seat."
241
00:11:17,535 --> 00:11:21,087
I don't know art,
but I know what I like.
242
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,090
And I like eating
and not looking at art.
243
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:28,094
I hereby award you
the Royal Medallion.
244
00:11:28,246 --> 00:11:31,172
(chuckles) Congratulations
on your discerning eye,
245
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,006
Your Majesty.
246
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,766
I love this pupil.
247
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:37,678
Is this not the student that you
expelled from the royal salon?
248
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:40,757
Well, I... Uh, that is, I, uh...
249
00:11:40,817 --> 00:11:42,926
Just pretend I'm not here.
250
00:11:42,986 --> 00:11:46,037
Uh, sir, is your tongue
sticking out because you're dead
251
00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:47,931
or because you're mad at me?
252
00:11:47,991 --> 00:11:49,432
Uh, little of both.
253
00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:51,710
Yeah.
(exhales)
254
00:11:51,861 --> 00:11:53,962
("La Marseillaise" playing)
255
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,446
Oh, sure, Maggie.
That's easy.
256
00:12:03,506 --> 00:12:07,041
Renaissance artists love to put
babies in their paintings,
257
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,727
especially baby angels.
258
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,563
Let's just not think about why
there were so many babies
259
00:12:11,756 --> 00:12:13,523
in heaven, shall we?
260
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,277
("Ride of the Valkyries"
playing)
261
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,291
Hey!
262
00:12:53,130 --> 00:12:55,422
Damn it!
263
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,758
So, telling stories
about art, huh?
264
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,853
Do they have one about a fat guy
whose wife is too good for him?
265
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,113
Stupid fat guy.
266
00:13:02,306 --> 00:13:04,431
Bet he doesn't even know
what's going on.
267
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:08,435
Well, Dad, have you ever heard
of Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo?
268
00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:10,121
(scoffs)
Lisa, I haven't even heard
269
00:13:10,314 --> 00:13:12,773
of Jackson Pollock
and Lee Krasner.
270
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:17,186
Well, Diego and Frida
were married in 1929.
271
00:13:17,247 --> 00:13:19,297
♪ ♪
272
00:13:19,448 --> 00:13:24,193
I now pronounce
you esposo and esposa.
273
00:13:24,212 --> 00:13:26,712
You may now beso quite mucho.
274
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:27,955
Mwah!
275
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:30,867
(cheering)
276
00:13:30,927 --> 00:13:33,036
Spanish for "Best wishes!"
277
00:13:33,096 --> 00:13:35,888
Spanish for "Congratulations!"
278
00:13:36,041 --> 00:13:38,132
Spanish for "¡Muy bueno!"
279
00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,967
Amigos, familia,
280
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,544
and El Barto.
281
00:13:41,604 --> 00:13:43,880
♪ Barto, El Barto ♪
282
00:13:43,898 --> 00:13:46,974
♪ The fox so cunning
and free. ♪
283
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,143
The mysterious El Barto.
284
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,554
Do you know
nobleman Don Bartholomew?
285
00:13:51,614 --> 00:13:54,982
He lives in that house
you come out of every night.
286
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,393
¡Ay, caramba!
287
00:13:57,453 --> 00:13:59,504
Gosh, quite the swordsman.
288
00:13:59,697 --> 00:14:00,897
Slashed my shirt,
289
00:14:00,957 --> 00:14:03,091
did not even nick me.
290
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,326
Move along, folks!
291
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,570
It's gonna take me a while
to bleed out.
292
00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:09,906
(groans, chuckles)
That's clever...
293
00:14:09,966 --> 00:14:11,665
A "B."
(exhales)
294
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,185
I know I speak for my wife,
Frida Kahlo,
295
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,430
when I say I couldn't imagine
life without you.
296
00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:19,691
But I also speak for my wife,
Frida Kahlo,
297
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,843
when I say we leave
for New York tomorrow!
298
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,103
You never asked me!
299
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,089
Don't worry.
As a woman,
300
00:14:26,107 --> 00:14:30,285
you will be treated with
much more respect in America.
301
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:35,189
Diego, I know
you are a socialist,
302
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,709
whilst I am
a lion of capitalism.
303
00:14:37,902 --> 00:14:39,619
Yes, we hate the capitalists.
304
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:42,788
Right now,
a young socialist is being born
305
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:43,956
who will take them down.
306
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,866
Mr. Bernie Sanders.
307
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,552
I hope he's quick about it.
308
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,963
Getting a cootie shot should not
cost your lunch money.
309
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,949
And if you don't listen to me,
310
00:14:53,009 --> 00:14:54,800
listen to the Bernie Babies.
311
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:57,395
What? Everybody's got goons.
312
00:14:57,546 --> 00:14:59,880
I disavow that and welcome it.
313
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,290
Señor Rockefeller,
314
00:15:01,392 --> 00:15:03,884
what is it
you are looking for from Diego?
315
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,719
Frida, please!
I'm so sorry.
316
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:08,481
My wife does not understand
these discussions.
317
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:12,393
I understand
that he is paying you $21,000
318
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:15,396
for a mural
for his new Rockefeller Center
319
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:18,141
with the theme
"man at the crossroads."
320
00:15:18,159 --> 00:15:19,918
$21,000.
321
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,869
Do you know what that is
in today's money?
322
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:24,738
$21,000.
323
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:25,957
(whoops)
324
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,651
This entire area
will be your canvas.
325
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,929
(gasps)
I will need very tiny brushes,
326
00:15:31,122 --> 00:15:32,430
a magnifying glass
327
00:15:32,623 --> 00:15:34,915
and a huge bottle of tequila.
328
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:35,841
No worm.
329
00:15:35,994 --> 00:15:37,343
A snake.
330
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,117
(chuckles softly)
You drive a hard bargain,
331
00:15:39,164 --> 00:15:40,680
but this is just a model.
332
00:15:40,832 --> 00:15:43,775
The real Rockefeller Center
will be 66 stories high.
333
00:15:43,926 --> 00:15:47,853
And every Christmas, we will
kill and decorate a giant tree
334
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:51,157
as a warning to the other trees.
335
00:15:52,068 --> 00:15:53,434
(grumbles)
336
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,954
Oh, Frida.
Let us celebrate our triumph
337
00:15:56,147 --> 00:15:58,014
with some snuggle-issimo.
338
00:15:58,074 --> 00:16:00,107
- No.
- (gasps) What's wrong, my dear?
339
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,867
Is your unibrow hurting?
340
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,629
You are selling out, my love.
341
00:16:06,949 --> 00:16:08,357
I am not selling out!
342
00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:10,784
I am doing this mural
for the little guy!
343
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,545
People like him!
344
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,381
Why are you washing windows
at night?
345
00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:18,017
Who said I was washing windows?
346
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,813
As for you, squander your gift,
347
00:16:22,006 --> 00:16:23,556
spit on your talent.
348
00:16:23,708 --> 00:16:26,800
- I am glad we are in agreement.
- (huffs)
349
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,320
But what will I do
while you work on your mural?
350
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,989
Paint a happy self-portrait,
351
00:16:31,182 --> 00:16:32,657
smiling ear to ear,
352
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:34,158
not a care in the world.
353
00:16:34,351 --> 00:16:36,661
That's not who I am, Diego!
354
00:16:36,854 --> 00:16:38,145
I love you, too.
355
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:40,314
Going to the bar!
356
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:43,559
Paint.
Paint your misery.
357
00:16:43,619 --> 00:16:46,320
Also, leave.
Leave your husband.
358
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,339
Which one of you is the angel?
359
00:16:48,491 --> 00:16:49,543
- We both are.
- We both are.
360
00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:51,417
That's how mad you're feeling.
361
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,735
Oh.
362
00:16:52,795 --> 00:16:55,138
Back to Heaven!
363
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,742
Buenas noches, darling.
364
00:16:59,802 --> 00:17:01,668
What a crazy night I had.
365
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,838
Now we got to get our stories
straight about Zeppo.
366
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,007
It was an accident, okay?
367
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,434
(honks)
368
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,028
Ah...
369
00:17:10,221 --> 00:17:11,921
Starting a new painting?
370
00:17:12,023 --> 00:17:15,349
Yes.
I am painting my feelings.
371
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,351
Oh! Oh!
372
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,185
Wow.
373
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,038
So strong, so brave,
374
00:17:20,231 --> 00:17:21,855
so true to herself.
375
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:22,856
Mm...
376
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,208
(groans)
377
00:17:24,401 --> 00:17:26,711
My darling, I am not
half the artist you are.
378
00:17:26,904 --> 00:17:29,363
Diego, what are you saying?
379
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,608
I am saying I've underestimated
you all this time.
380
00:17:32,627 --> 00:17:33,885
You are a genius!
381
00:17:34,036 --> 00:17:36,721
From now on,
I will show my awe of you
382
00:17:36,914 --> 00:17:38,222
by sleeping with other women.
383
00:17:38,374 --> 00:17:40,116
Starting an hour ago.
384
00:17:40,176 --> 00:17:43,119
And I will sleep with other
women starting two hours ago.
385
00:17:43,221 --> 00:17:45,897
I'm so glad
I don't hear what you say.
386
00:17:46,048 --> 00:17:49,809
But I will do something I have
not done in our entire marriage:
387
00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:51,385
what you want.
388
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:53,887
Well, actions speak louder
than words.
389
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:57,075
No. Unless the action is the
demolition of a big building,
390
00:17:57,268 --> 00:17:58,818
words are usually louder.
391
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:00,636
Everything is a fight.
392
00:18:00,696 --> 00:18:02,471
I completely disagree.
393
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,398
But just wait
till you see what I do.
394
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:06,567
You'll be pleased
with what I do not do,
395
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,644
and you will love what I do do.
396
00:18:08,704 --> 00:18:09,704
Good night!
397
00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,738
(grumbles)
398
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,999
Welcome to Rockefeller Center,
399
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,484
a temple of capitalism.
400
00:18:15,545 --> 00:18:17,153
To find a taller building,
401
00:18:17,255 --> 00:18:19,413
you'd have to walk
a full seven blocks.
402
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,006
(chuckles):
Long blocks.
403
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:22,749
With people bumping you.
404
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:26,145
Enough already. While the art
is still deco, okay?
405
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:29,590
For you, my darling.
406
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,984
Man at the Crossroads.
407
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,520
Rich people.
Yes, excellent.
408
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,022
The cosmos.
Yes, makes sense.
409
00:18:37,175 --> 00:18:38,282
A worker.
410
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,176
Well, I suppose
it couldn't be helped.
411
00:18:40,236 --> 00:18:41,435
Fascist army.
412
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,788
Always welcome in any lobby.
413
00:18:43,981 --> 00:18:45,957
Hmm. Who's that fellow?
414
00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:49,185
With the beard
and the Bolshevik smile.
415
00:18:49,245 --> 00:18:52,705
That is the founder
of Soviet Russia, Lenin.
416
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,465
But-but-but he's a communist.
417
00:18:54,658 --> 00:18:56,859
Oh, he just attended
a couple of meetings.
418
00:18:56,919 --> 00:19:00,029
I can't have a communist
in my colossus of capitalism.
419
00:19:00,089 --> 00:19:01,121
Paint over it.
420
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,365
No!
421
00:19:02,425 --> 00:19:03,957
Then you will lose
your commission,
422
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,561
and I won't let you be
the model for Atlas.
423
00:19:07,838 --> 00:19:09,054
Hmm...
424
00:19:09,207 --> 00:19:10,631
I don't care.
425
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:13,542
There is one person
I want to be proud of me,
426
00:19:13,603 --> 00:19:14,652
no matter what.
427
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,304
(gasps)
Oh, my darling.
428
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,899
Release the hounds.
429
00:19:20,051 --> 00:19:21,325
(barking in distance)
430
00:19:21,518 --> 00:19:23,310
They're on the 66th floor, sir.
431
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:26,055
They should be here
in about 25 minutes.
432
00:19:26,115 --> 00:19:28,082
(barking continues)
433
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,244
But-but-but why is it
just sitting there?
434
00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:33,838
I, uh...
I think they may be eating
435
00:19:34,031 --> 00:19:35,673
the elevator operator, sir.
436
00:19:35,866 --> 00:19:37,416
Let us leave, my darling,
437
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,735
with our scruples intact.
438
00:19:39,795 --> 00:19:41,161
Push the owner's button.
439
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,255
- But...
- I said push it.
440
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,682
Aah!
441
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,060
Ironically, in time,
442
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,504
Frida became more famous
than Diego,
443
00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:54,266
an icon for brilliant
female artists everywhere.
444
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,028
This is really, really good.
445
00:19:57,179 --> 00:19:58,587
If I play my cards right,
446
00:19:58,689 --> 00:20:01,699
I will direct a Rick and Morty.
447
00:20:01,892 --> 00:20:04,035
♪ ♪
448
00:20:12,194 --> 00:20:14,473
All right, now it's time for
the story of Vincent van Moe.
449
00:20:14,497 --> 00:20:18,457
(chuckles)
♪ Bar-ry, bar-ry night ♪
450
00:20:19,535 --> 00:20:23,537
♪ Squeeze your bar rag
clean and dry ♪
451
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:27,058
♪ For the last time,
say there's no Wi-Fi ♪
452
00:20:27,251 --> 00:20:31,971
♪ With eyes that know
the darkness of my soul ♪
453
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,289
(cries)
454
00:20:33,349 --> 00:20:37,384
♪ Serving them the dregs ♪
455
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,219
♪ Something's growing ♪
456
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:42,240
♪ On my eggs ♪
457
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:45,468
♪ Add tap water to the kegs ♪
458
00:20:45,528 --> 00:20:49,705
♪ And search the bushes
for my missing ear ♪
459
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,627
♪ Now the show is done ♪
460
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,329
♪ Except the part ♪
461
00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,591
♪ Where the chick goes "Shh!" ♪
462
00:21:00,743 --> 00:21:04,670
♪ But no one ever obeys her ♪
463
00:21:04,822 --> 00:21:08,766
♪ 'Cause, really,
what's she shushing for? ♪
464
00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:10,250
This one ain't so great.
465
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:12,419
♪ I will not listen ♪
466
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,690
♪ She's not the boss of me ♪
467
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:22,363
♪ And she will never be. ♪
468
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,599
(crying)
469
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:27,526
End the credits!
470
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:28,620
Shh!
32760
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