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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
3
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Oh, I think you better stay
home from school, sweetie.
4
00:00:25,383 --> 00:00:26,674
I'm not at school?
5
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:29,753
No, honey. And you should stay home.
6
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,196
Yes, Miss Hoover.
7
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I put some books beside the bed.
8
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Will you test me on them later?
9
00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:38,762
Of course.
And I won't even give you any warning.
10
00:00:38,822 --> 00:00:41,040
I'd like that.
11
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:44,768
(GRUNTS)
12
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Mm!
13
00:00:46,571 --> 00:00:49,480
(READING):_
14
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:55,510
HOMER (READING):_
15
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,413
Aw. Ooh!
16
00:00:57,508 --> 00:01:01,543
"Born near Florence,
Italy, in the year 1452,
17
00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:04,063
"Leonardo da Vinci displayed a genius
18
00:01:04,256 --> 00:01:06,790
unmatched in human history."
19
00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:07,974
- _
- Extra, extra!
20
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,218
- _
- Renaissance begins today!
21
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:13,572
If you're gonna torture someone,
do it quick!
22
00:01:14,191 --> 00:01:18,009
LISA: "As a child,
Lisanardo's gifts were evident"
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Hey, sonny boy,
24
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I want you to be just
as talented as her.
25
00:01:22,758 --> 00:01:24,257
I made an Uffizi
26
00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:26,259
on the floor of the Farnese.
27
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,278
Yeah, yeah. That's, uh, that's great.
28
00:01:28,372 --> 00:01:30,280
Lisanardo, did you finish
29
00:01:30,374 --> 00:01:33,767
that drawing of the suspect yet?
30
00:01:33,868 --> 00:01:35,335
Wow.
31
00:01:36,255 --> 00:01:38,380
Gee. That talented kid
32
00:01:38,573 --> 00:01:40,382
is gonna make you a lot of money.
33
00:01:40,575 --> 00:01:42,217
- (CASH REGISTER DINGS)
- We're rich!
34
00:01:42,410 --> 00:01:44,869
Like Marge's tomato sauce.
35
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- (GRUNTS) Not until dinner.
- Oh!
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00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:49,891
While we're celebrating
Saint Christopher,
37
00:01:50,084 --> 00:01:52,969
he help people who get
lost telling stories
38
00:01:53,063 --> 00:01:54,879
find their way back to the point.
39
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:58,716
He was canonized by
Gregory the Inconvenient,
40
00:01:58,777 --> 00:02:00,902
who shot him out of the cannon.
41
00:02:01,071 --> 00:02:04,239
This was before they
discovered gunpowder,
42
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:08,151
so they pulled the cannon
to a cliff and pointed down.
43
00:02:08,303 --> 00:02:09,911
- But then he stayed in.
- _
44
00:02:10,104 --> 00:02:13,473
They had to give him an eviction notice.
45
00:02:13,491 --> 00:02:14,974
LISA: "Florence, at the time,
46
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,918
was at the start of the Renaissance."
47
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- _
- Hey, you can never be too careful.
48
00:02:19,998 --> 00:02:21,164
Aw, don't worry.
49
00:02:21,316 --> 00:02:23,316
Those Dark Ages ain't never coming back.
50
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We got frescoes, we got spinach
51
00:02:25,286 --> 00:02:28,597
and this delicious new
thing called a pizza.
52
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:30,965
I'm the original Ray.
53
00:02:31,101 --> 00:02:33,435
Well, I am-a Famous Ray.
54
00:02:33,628 --> 00:02:34,752
Basta!
55
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(OVERLAPPING SHOUTING)
56
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What about me, Little-a Caesar?
57
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Pizza! Pizza!
58
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Ouchie! Ouchie!
59
00:02:45,306 --> 00:02:47,616
Et tu, Noidus?
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00:02:47,809 --> 00:02:50,009
LISA:
"Young Lisanardo was soon an apprentice
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00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,436
"to the most famous artist in Florence,
62
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:54,623
- _
- Andrea del Verrocchio."
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00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:56,458
- _
- Whoever paints the sweetest cherub
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00:02:56,627 --> 00:02:59,853
will have the honor of having
my name signed on their work.
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00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,880
That's what great artists do.
66
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,134
Excellent, Barticelli.
67
00:03:06,327 --> 00:03:08,303
Very nice, Dolphatello.
68
00:03:08,496 --> 00:03:10,363
Ralphael, what is this?
69
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:13,141
My foot hands are brushes.
70
00:03:13,334 --> 00:03:15,435
(LAUGHING)
71
00:03:17,438 --> 00:03:18,538
VEROCCHIO: Jesus.
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00:03:18,556 --> 00:03:21,632
Your little angels are so
much better than my Jesus.
73
00:03:21,652 --> 00:03:23,968
- Is that wrong?
- (SIGHS) No.
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Your genius has shown me
what a failure I am.
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00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,699
I will never paint again.
76
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,069
- _
- (CACOPHONOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
77
00:03:34,313 --> 00:03:36,739
At least there are no geniuses in here.
78
00:03:36,833 --> 00:03:38,833
(PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)
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(SIGHS)
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What? We can't all be great.
81
00:03:44,508 --> 00:03:45,899
Right, Mediocroto?
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00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,659
Si. On every paper, I get a C.
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00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,829
We don't want you in our class.
You're too much better than us.
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00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:54,741
Yeah, your gifts come from heaven above.
85
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Uh, that's not true.
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00:03:56,228 --> 00:03:58,578
♪ ♪
87
00:03:58,596 --> 00:04:00,504
Here's some more talent.
88
00:04:00,565 --> 00:04:02,273
Not a good time.
89
00:04:03,902 --> 00:04:07,603
♪ My gifts came down
from God above ♪
90
00:04:07,756 --> 00:04:11,925
♪ But talent doesn't
bring you love ♪
91
00:04:11,943 --> 00:04:16,371
♪ Although my brilliant
genius shone ♪
92
00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:20,767
♪ My last supper was all alone ♪
93
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:24,938
♪ In 1470. ♪
94
00:04:25,039 --> 00:04:26,464
(CRYING)
95
00:04:29,732 --> 00:04:31,886
If you can't beat 'em, kill 'em.
96
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:34,614
Use your genius to
invent weapons of war,
97
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:37,541
just like I'm gonna
invent the Charleston.
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00:04:37,602 --> 00:04:39,811
- ♪ ♪
- (SCATS)
99
00:04:42,232 --> 00:04:44,307
Ow, my appendages!
100
00:04:44,443 --> 00:04:45,808
I'll show them all.
101
00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:48,403
I'll show them all in a secret diary
102
00:04:48,572 --> 00:04:51,965
that no one will decipher for 400 years.
103
00:04:51,983 --> 00:04:53,316
(CHURCH BELL TOLLING)
104
00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:54,801
(SNORES)
105
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,135
(YAWNS)
106
00:04:56,154 --> 00:04:59,956
Oh, what to invent? What to invent?
107
00:05:09,283 --> 00:05:10,666
Portable siege engines.
108
00:05:10,802 --> 00:05:12,652
Flamethrowing mirrors.
109
00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:14,763
A waterpowered stabbing wheel.
110
00:05:14,956 --> 00:05:16,839
Hmm. With these, we could kill
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00:05:16,992 --> 00:05:18,508
the most evil people in the world:
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00:05:18,602 --> 00:05:21,019
slightly different Christians.
113
00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:28,668
- MAN: Ow!
- This is your true masterpiece.
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00:05:28,686 --> 00:05:30,520
Why did you kill us?
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Scusi.
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Ow! Ow! Ow!
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Ooh.
118
00:05:39,814 --> 00:05:41,623
I'm going to kill you all.
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00:05:41,816 --> 00:05:43,866
It's my only pathway to pope.
120
00:05:44,002 --> 00:05:45,868
Cardinals suck.
121
00:05:46,004 --> 00:05:48,445
Go, Cubs!
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00:05:48,507 --> 00:05:50,039
"Lisanardo had learned
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"that using her intellect
for war was blasphemy
124
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"but using it for art would
make it endure forever.
125
00:05:56,497 --> 00:06:00,124
- She escaped to France and retired in happiness."
- _
126
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,978
I'll be out in a sec.
Keep the engine running.
127
00:06:04,171 --> 00:06:06,722
(GRUNTING)
128
00:06:06,817 --> 00:06:08,632
Lisanardo, I have many questions.
129
00:06:08,693 --> 00:06:10,726
Why are you hitting yourself?
130
00:06:10,821 --> 00:06:12,879
A nerd says what? And how is it possible
131
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:16,658
that I am rubber and you are glue,
et cetera, et cetera?
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I will answer all questions
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just as soon as I finish
my masterpiece, my king.
134
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:26,501
♪ Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa ♪
135
00:06:26,670 --> 00:06:30,338
♪ Men have named you ♪
136
00:06:30,489 --> 00:06:34,067
♪ You're so like the lady
with the mystic smile. ♪
137
00:06:34,085 --> 00:06:37,070
Well, if this doesn't get
Ron Howard to direct,
138
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,638
- I don't know what will.
- _
139
00:06:41,538 --> 00:06:44,561
Real humble, Lis,
making yourself into Leonardo da Vinci.
140
00:06:44,712 --> 00:06:46,354
Shouldn't you be in school?
141
00:06:46,547 --> 00:06:47,838
Eh, it was art, which I hate.
142
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,932
Well, if you hate
the formal study of art,
143
00:06:50,085 --> 00:06:52,101
you're just like another
artist I'd like to discuss
144
00:06:52,195 --> 00:06:54,678
who also had trouble with the Academy.
145
00:06:54,739 --> 00:06:56,180
You must have a fever,
146
00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:59,158
because that segue was sweaty.
147
00:06:59,911 --> 00:07:01,516
_
148
00:07:02,747 --> 00:07:05,373
Unimaginative and boring. A.
149
00:07:05,524 --> 00:07:07,542
Milhouse, this has nothing
I haven't seen before.
150
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:08,784
A-plus.
151
00:07:08,879 --> 00:07:10,027
Bart, you've really made me think.
152
00:07:10,046 --> 00:07:12,363
How dare you? F-minus.
153
00:07:12,424 --> 00:07:14,007
(GRUMBLES)
154
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,001
_
155
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,793
(KIDS LAUGH)
156
00:07:17,946 --> 00:07:19,962
(LAUGHS) Oh, a single entendre,
157
00:07:20,056 --> 00:07:22,298
the most complicated joke there is.
158
00:07:22,392 --> 00:07:23,707
Class, settle, please,
159
00:07:23,768 --> 00:07:25,226
because today we have a special treat:
160
00:07:25,419 --> 00:07:28,229
a visit from Paris'
leading Bacchus model.
161
00:07:28,422 --> 00:07:30,732
Sorry I'm late. As a supermodel,
162
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:33,902
I have to be eating
and drinking all day.
163
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:35,219
(BURPS)
164
00:07:35,238 --> 00:07:37,906
You prefer robe open or robe off?
165
00:07:38,099 --> 00:07:40,891
Uh, just cover your privates
with this walnut shell.
166
00:07:40,952 --> 00:07:43,319
Whoa, so roomy.
167
00:07:43,471 --> 00:07:44,637
Mm-hmm...
168
00:07:44,739 --> 00:07:46,822
Gah! That looks nothing like him.
169
00:07:46,975 --> 00:07:48,750
And it shouldn't.
We're making the art that we feel
170
00:07:48,943 --> 00:07:50,585
because we can't compete with a camera,
171
00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:53,421
especially modern compact cameras.
172
00:07:53,614 --> 00:07:56,740
Please hold still for 17 hours.
173
00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:58,593
Since you refuse
to paint the still life,
174
00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:00,803
you'll become the still life.
175
00:08:02,674 --> 00:08:04,140
Foie gras!
176
00:08:04,543 --> 00:08:05,643
_
177
00:08:05,644 --> 00:08:07,852
("ORPHEUS IN THE UNDERWORLD:
CAN CAN" PLAYING)
178
00:08:10,673 --> 00:08:15,017
This epoque just gets beller and beller.
179
00:08:16,072 --> 00:08:17,561
Who is that kid?
180
00:08:17,754 --> 00:08:19,138
I am Toulouse-Moetrec,
181
00:08:19,273 --> 00:08:22,048
the chronicler of the demimonde.
(CHUCKLES)
182
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,485
I keep liquor in my cane.
183
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,323
Not very efficient. Really not.
184
00:08:30,827 --> 00:08:33,536
ROOSTER: Coq au vin, au vin!
185
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:40,826
This is the greatest
thing I've ever seen,
186
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,995
and I have seen, like, five things!
187
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:45,405
You, my friend. You are a genius!
188
00:08:45,466 --> 00:08:48,926
Maybe we should stop slavishly
following the teacher
189
00:08:49,119 --> 00:08:50,744
and use our own minds
190
00:08:50,805 --> 00:08:53,005
to slavishly follow Bart.
191
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,339
To the easels.
192
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:58,769
All right,
time to do my first self-portrait.
193
00:08:58,962 --> 00:09:02,255
Time to look in a mirror
for the first time in my life.
194
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:05,017
I can only assume that I am beautiful.
195
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,852
All right, here we go.
196
00:09:06,988 --> 00:09:08,612
Looking now.
197
00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:10,322
(SCREAMS)
198
00:09:14,028 --> 00:09:15,619
(CHUCKLES): Oh, don't worry, sir.
199
00:09:15,812 --> 00:09:17,696
You won't see anything here
that'll encourage debate,
200
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,273
provoke thought or be out of
place in a dentist's office.
201
00:09:20,334 --> 00:09:21,959
Ah, well, I'm sure this will have
202
00:09:22,152 --> 00:09:25,421
a definite je ne sais quoi?!
203
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,615
Ugh! Oh!
204
00:09:28,676 --> 00:09:32,118
The emperor is coming here
to look at this artwork today.
205
00:09:32,221 --> 00:09:34,880
His Majesty will feed
us to the guillotine!
206
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:36,957
That hasn't been used in years.
207
00:09:37,059 --> 00:09:38,976
No one even remembers how to work it.
208
00:09:39,169 --> 00:09:42,128
Pull up, let go. How hard can that be?
209
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:43,296
(GROANS)
210
00:09:43,357 --> 00:09:45,265
Mon cher, le superintendent,
211
00:09:45,359 --> 00:09:48,819
which of our works will you be
entering into the royal Salon?
212
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:51,822
None. You are all refusés.
213
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,515
What about our student loans?
214
00:09:53,534 --> 00:09:55,976
Oh, they'll be refunded.
We are not barbarians.
215
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,536
I mean, uh, come on.
216
00:09:57,688 --> 00:10:00,723
Oh, if only we could get our
art in front of the emperor.
217
00:10:00,783 --> 00:10:03,834
Monarchs love challenges
to the established order.
218
00:10:04,027 --> 00:10:06,170
No, no. But there is one thing
219
00:10:06,321 --> 00:10:08,154
the emperor loves more than anything.
220
00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:10,615
- France?
- No, he hates France.
221
00:10:10,718 --> 00:10:12,843
But he loves cheese.
222
00:10:13,036 --> 00:10:16,329
Look who he appointed mayor of Toulon.
223
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,390
♪ ♪
224
00:10:22,197 --> 00:10:24,363
_
225
00:10:25,768 --> 00:10:27,916
- Hmm.
- Do we have a winner?
226
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:30,176
Keep your pants on, Moulin Huge.
227
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:34,406
There are 44 more galleries
of mediocre art to judge.
228
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,350
What is that cheese doing?
229
00:10:37,411 --> 00:10:40,020
Oh, you know French cheese. Very runny.
230
00:10:40,122 --> 00:10:42,931
I warned them not to
make cheese into wheels.
231
00:10:42,992 --> 00:10:44,767
Cubes were fine.
232
00:10:44,827 --> 00:10:46,769
I get motion sickness,
233
00:10:46,829 --> 00:10:49,029
and I'm lactose intolerant.
234
00:10:49,090 --> 00:10:51,882
Hurry. He's biting his way in!
235
00:10:55,037 --> 00:10:56,178
What the...
236
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,391
Aw, once again,
237
00:11:00,584 --> 00:11:04,119
I have just cheese that is not cheese.
238
00:11:04,138 --> 00:11:05,954
Your Majesty, if you'll take a seat,
239
00:11:06,015 --> 00:11:08,381
we'll show you something really special,
240
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,310
a transformation of art
from a rote copying of nature
241
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,553
into the experiences, ideas,
242
00:11:13,614 --> 00:11:15,239
and mind of the artist.
243
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:18,242
You had me at "take a seat."
244
00:11:18,435 --> 00:11:21,987
I don't know art,
but I know what I like.
245
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:24,990
And I like eating and
not looking at art.
246
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:28,994
I hereby award you the Royal Medallion.
247
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:32,072
(CHUCKLES) Congratulations
on your discerning eye,
248
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:34,666
Your Majesty. I love this pupil.
249
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,578
Is this not the student that you
expelled from the royal salon?
250
00:11:38,639 --> 00:11:41,657
Well, I... Uh, that is, I, uh...
251
00:11:41,717 --> 00:11:43,826
Just pretend I'm not here.
252
00:11:43,886 --> 00:11:46,937
Uh, sir, is your tongue
sticking out because you're dead
253
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:48,831
or because you're mad at me?
254
00:11:48,891 --> 00:11:50,332
Uh, little of both.
255
00:11:50,392 --> 00:11:52,610
Yeah. (EXHALES)
256
00:11:52,761 --> 00:11:54,862
("LA MARSEILLAISE" PLAYING)
257
00:12:00,918 --> 00:12:02,287
_
258
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,346
Oh, sure, Maggie. That's easy.
259
00:12:04,406 --> 00:12:07,941
Renaissance artists love to
put babies in their paintings,
260
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,627
especially baby angels.
261
00:12:09,820 --> 00:12:12,463
Let's just not think about
why there were so many babies
262
00:12:12,656 --> 00:12:14,423
in heaven, shall we?
263
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:18,177
("RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" PLAYING)
264
00:12:31,347 --> 00:12:32,391
Hey!
265
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,896
_
266
00:12:45,529 --> 00:12:46,606
_
267
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:56,322
Damn it!
268
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,658
So, telling stories about art, huh?
269
00:12:58,719 --> 00:13:01,753
Do they have one about a fat guy
whose wife is too good for him?
270
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,013
Stupid fat guy.
271
00:13:03,206 --> 00:13:05,331
Bet he doesn't even
know what's going on.
272
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:09,335
Well, Dad, have you ever heard
of Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo?
273
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,021
(SCOFFS) Lisa, I haven't even heard
274
00:13:11,214 --> 00:13:13,673
of Jackson Pollock and Lee Krasner.
275
00:13:13,734 --> 00:13:18,086
Well, Diego and Frida
were married in 1929.
276
00:13:18,147 --> 00:13:20,197
- ♪ ♪
- _
277
00:13:20,348 --> 00:13:25,093
I now pronounce you esposo and esposa.
278
00:13:25,112 --> 00:13:27,612
You may now beso quite mucho.
279
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:28,855
Mwah!
280
00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:31,767
(CHEERING)
281
00:13:31,827 --> 00:13:33,936
Spanish for "Best wishes!"
282
00:13:33,996 --> 00:13:36,788
Spanish for "Congratulations!"
283
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,032
Spanish for "¡Muy bueno!"
284
00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:40,867
Amigos, familia,
285
00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:42,444
and El Barto.
286
00:13:42,504 --> 00:13:44,780
♪ Barto, El Barto ♪
287
00:13:44,798 --> 00:13:47,874
♪ The fox so cunning and free. ♪
288
00:13:47,935 --> 00:13:50,043
The mysterious El Barto.
289
00:13:50,104 --> 00:13:52,454
Do you know nobleman Don Bartholomew?
290
00:13:52,514 --> 00:13:55,882
He lives in that house you
come out of every night.
291
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:58,293
¡Ay, caramba!
292
00:13:58,353 --> 00:14:00,404
Gosh, quite the swordsman.
293
00:14:00,597 --> 00:14:01,797
Slashed my shirt,
294
00:14:01,857 --> 00:14:03,991
did not even nick me.
295
00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:06,226
Move along, folks!
296
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:08,470
It's gonna take me a while to bleed out.
297
00:14:08,530 --> 00:14:10,806
(GROANS, CHUCKLES) That's clever...
298
00:14:10,866 --> 00:14:12,565
a "B." (EXHALES)
299
00:14:12,626 --> 00:14:15,085
I know I speak for my wife, Frida Kahlo,
300
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:18,330
when I say I couldn't
imagine life without you.
301
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:20,591
But I also speak for my wife,
Frida Kahlo,
302
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,743
when I say we leave
for New York tomorrow!
303
00:14:23,804 --> 00:14:25,003
You never asked me!
304
00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:26,989
Don't worry. As a woman,
305
00:14:27,007 --> 00:14:31,185
you will be treated with
much more respect in America.
306
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:33,605
_
307
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:36,089
Diego, I know you are a socialist,
308
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:38,609
whilst I am a lion of capitalism.
309
00:14:38,802 --> 00:14:41,133
Yes, we hate the capitalists.
310
00:14:41,168 --> 00:14:43,688
Right now,
a young socialist is being born
311
00:14:43,824 --> 00:14:45,395
who will take them down.
312
00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:47,442
Mr. Bernie Sanders.
313
00:14:47,477 --> 00:14:49,106
I hope he's quick about it.
314
00:14:49,141 --> 00:14:51,863
Getting a cootie shot should
not cost your lunch money.
315
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:53,849
And if you don't listen to me,
316
00:14:53,909 --> 00:14:55,700
listen to the Bernie Babies.
317
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,295
What? Everybody's got goons.
318
00:14:58,446 --> 00:15:00,780
I disavow that and welcome it.
319
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,190
Señor Rockefeller,
320
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,784
what is it you are
looking for from Diego?
321
00:15:04,845 --> 00:15:07,250
Frida, please! I'm so sorry.
322
00:15:07,285 --> 00:15:09,381
My wife does not understand
these discussions.
323
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:13,293
I understand that he
is paying you $21,000
324
00:15:13,354 --> 00:15:16,296
for a mural for his
new Rockefeller Center
325
00:15:16,357 --> 00:15:19,041
with the theme "man at the crossroads."
326
00:15:19,059 --> 00:15:20,818
$21,000.
327
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,769
Do you know what that
is in today's money?
328
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,638
$21,000.
329
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:26,857
(WHOOPS)
330
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:29,551
This entire area will be your canvas.
331
00:15:29,653 --> 00:15:31,829
(GASPS) I will need very tiny brushes,
332
00:15:32,022 --> 00:15:33,330
a magnifying glass
333
00:15:33,523 --> 00:15:35,815
and a huge bottle of tequila.
334
00:15:35,876 --> 00:15:36,881
No worm.
335
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,243
A snake.
336
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:39,911
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) You
drive a hard bargain,
337
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,580
but this is just a model.
338
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:44,675
The real Rockefeller Center
will be 66 stories high.
339
00:15:44,826 --> 00:15:48,753
And every Christmas,
we will kill and decorate a giant tree
340
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:52,057
as a warning to the other trees.
341
00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:54,334
(GRUMBLES)
342
00:15:54,789 --> 00:15:57,584
Oh, Frida. Let us celebrate our triumph
343
00:15:57,619 --> 00:15:58,914
with some snuggle-issimo.
344
00:15:58,974 --> 00:16:01,007
- No.
- (GASPS) What's wrong, my dear?
345
00:16:01,068 --> 00:16:02,767
Is your unibrow hurting?
346
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,529
You are selling out, my love.
347
00:16:06,064 --> 00:16:07,848
_
348
00:16:07,849 --> 00:16:09,257
I am not selling out!
349
00:16:09,318 --> 00:16:11,684
I am doing this mural
for the little guy!
350
00:16:11,745 --> 00:16:13,445
People like him!
351
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:16,281
Why are you washing windows at night?
352
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:18,917
Who said I was washing windows?
353
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,512
As for you, squander your gift,
354
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:24,556
spit on your talent.
355
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:27,700
- I am glad we are in agreement.
- (HUFFS)
356
00:16:27,761 --> 00:16:30,220
But what will I do while
you work on your mural?
357
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,561
Paint a happy self-portrait,
358
00:16:32,596 --> 00:16:33,657
smiling ear to ear,
359
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,058
not a care in the world.
360
00:16:35,251 --> 00:16:37,561
That's not who I am, Diego!
361
00:16:37,754 --> 00:16:39,586
I love you, too.
362
00:16:39,621 --> 00:16:41,214
Going to the bar!
363
00:16:42,559 --> 00:16:44,909
Paint. Paint your misery.
364
00:16:44,969 --> 00:16:47,670
Also, leave. Leave your husband.
365
00:16:47,731 --> 00:16:49,689
Which one of you is the angel?
366
00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:50,865
- We both are.
- We both are.
367
00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:52,767
That's how mad you're feeling.
368
00:16:52,861 --> 00:16:54,085
Oh.
369
00:16:54,145 --> 00:16:56,488
Back to Heaven!
370
00:16:56,489 --> 00:16:57,489
_
371
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:01,092
Buenas noches, darling.
372
00:17:01,152 --> 00:17:03,018
What a crazy night I had.
373
00:17:03,038 --> 00:17:06,188
Now we got to get our
stories straight about Zeppo.
374
00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:08,357
It was an accident, okay?
375
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:09,784
(HONKS)
376
00:17:09,878 --> 00:17:11,378
Ah...
377
00:17:11,571 --> 00:17:13,271
Starting a new painting?
378
00:17:13,373 --> 00:17:16,699
Yes. I am painting my feelings.
379
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,701
Oh! Oh!
380
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,388
Wow. So strong, so brave,
381
00:17:21,581 --> 00:17:23,205
so true to herself.
382
00:17:23,266 --> 00:17:25,558
- Mm...
- (GROANS)
383
00:17:25,751 --> 00:17:28,061
My darling,
I am not half the artist you are.
384
00:17:28,254 --> 00:17:30,713
Diego, what are you saying?
385
00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:33,958
I am saying I've underestimated
you all this time.
386
00:17:33,977 --> 00:17:35,235
You are a genius!
387
00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:38,071
From now on, I will show my awe of you
388
00:17:38,264 --> 00:17:39,572
by sleeping with other women.
389
00:17:39,724 --> 00:17:41,466
Starting an hour ago.
390
00:17:41,526 --> 00:17:44,469
And I will sleep with other
women starting two hours ago.
391
00:17:44,571 --> 00:17:47,247
I'm so glad I don't hear what you say.
392
00:17:47,398 --> 00:17:51,159
But I will do something I have
not done in our entire marriage:
393
00:17:51,311 --> 00:17:52,735
what you want.
394
00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:55,237
Well, actions speak louder than words.
395
00:17:55,257 --> 00:17:58,425
No. Unless the action is the
demolition of a big building,
396
00:17:58,618 --> 00:18:00,168
words are usually louder.
397
00:18:00,262 --> 00:18:01,986
Everything is a fight.
398
00:18:02,046 --> 00:18:03,821
I completely disagree.
399
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,748
But just wait till you see what I do.
400
00:18:05,809 --> 00:18:07,917
You'll be pleased with what I do not do,
401
00:18:07,936 --> 00:18:09,994
and you will love what I do do.
402
00:18:10,054 --> 00:18:11,112
Good night!
403
00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:13,088
(GRUMBLES)
404
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:15,349
Welcome to Rockefeller Center,
405
00:18:15,444 --> 00:18:16,834
a temple of capitalism.
406
00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:18,503
To find a taller building,
407
00:18:18,605 --> 00:18:20,763
you'd have to walk a full seven blocks.
408
00:18:20,824 --> 00:18:22,356
(CHUCKLES): Long blocks.
409
00:18:22,451 --> 00:18:24,099
With people bumping you.
410
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:27,495
Enough already.
While the art is still deco, okay?
411
00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:30,940
For you, my darling.
412
00:18:31,042 --> 00:18:33,334
Man at the Crossroads.
413
00:18:34,463 --> 00:18:35,870
Rich people. Yes, excellent.
414
00:18:35,964 --> 00:18:38,372
The cosmos. Yes, makes sense.
415
00:18:38,525 --> 00:18:39,632
A worker.
416
00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:41,526
Well, I suppose it couldn't be helped.
417
00:18:41,586 --> 00:18:42,785
Fascist army.
418
00:18:42,846 --> 00:18:45,138
Always welcome in any lobby.
419
00:18:45,331 --> 00:18:47,307
Hmm. Who's that fellow?
420
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:50,535
With the beard and the Bolshevik smile.
421
00:18:50,595 --> 00:18:54,055
That is the founder
of Soviet Russia, Lenin.
422
00:18:54,149 --> 00:18:55,815
But-but-but he's a communist.
423
00:18:56,008 --> 00:18:58,209
Oh, he just attended
a couple of meetings.
424
00:18:58,269 --> 00:19:01,379
I can't have a communist
in my colossus of capitalism.
425
00:19:01,439 --> 00:19:02,471
Paint over it.
426
00:19:02,491 --> 00:19:03,715
No!
427
00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:05,307
Then you will lose your commission,
428
00:19:05,327 --> 00:19:07,911
and I won't let you be
the model for Atlas.
429
00:19:09,188 --> 00:19:10,404
Hmm...
430
00:19:10,557 --> 00:19:11,981
I don't care.
431
00:19:12,042 --> 00:19:14,892
There is one person
I want to be proud of me,
432
00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:16,002
no matter what.
433
00:19:16,171 --> 00:19:18,654
(GASPS) Oh, my darling.
434
00:19:18,715 --> 00:19:21,249
Release the hounds.
435
00:19:21,401 --> 00:19:22,675
(BARKING IN DISTANCE)
436
00:19:22,868 --> 00:19:24,660
They're on the 66th floor, sir.
437
00:19:24,721 --> 00:19:27,405
They should be here in about 25 minutes.
438
00:19:27,465 --> 00:19:29,432
(BARKING CONTINUES)
439
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:33,594
But-but-but why is it
just sitting there?
440
00:19:33,747 --> 00:19:35,188
I, uh... I think they may be eating
441
00:19:35,381 --> 00:19:37,023
the elevator operator, sir.
442
00:19:37,216 --> 00:19:38,766
Let us leave, my darling,
443
00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:41,085
with our scruples intact.
444
00:19:41,145 --> 00:19:42,511
Push the owner's button.
445
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:44,605
- But...
- I said push it.
446
00:19:44,741 --> 00:19:46,032
Aah!
447
00:19:48,036 --> 00:19:49,410
Ironically, in time,
448
00:19:49,538 --> 00:19:51,854
Frida became more famous than Diego,
449
00:19:51,915 --> 00:19:55,616
an icon for brilliant
female artists everywhere.
450
00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:58,378
This is really, really good.
451
00:19:58,529 --> 00:19:59,937
If I play my cards right,
452
00:20:00,039 --> 00:20:03,049
I will direct a Rick and Morty.
453
00:20:03,242 --> 00:20:05,385
♪ ♪
454
00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:15,787
All right, now it's time for
the story of Vincent van Moe.
455
00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:19,807
(CHUCKLES) ♪ Bar-ry, bar-ry night ♪
456
00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:24,887
♪ Squeeze your bar
rag clean and dry ♪
457
00:20:24,906 --> 00:20:28,408
♪ For the last time,
say there's no Wi-Fi ♪
458
00:20:28,601 --> 00:20:33,321
♪ With eyes that know
the darkness of my soul ♪
459
00:20:33,415 --> 00:20:34,639
(CRIES)
460
00:20:34,699 --> 00:20:38,734
♪ Serving them the dregs ♪
461
00:20:38,795 --> 00:20:40,569
♪ Something's growing ♪
462
00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:43,590
♪ On my eggs ♪
463
00:20:43,783 --> 00:20:46,818
♪ Add tap water to the kegs ♪
464
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:51,055
♪ And search the bushes
for my missing ear ♪
465
00:20:52,809 --> 00:20:55,977
♪ Now the show is done ♪
466
00:20:57,439 --> 00:20:58,679
♪ Except the part ♪
467
00:20:58,773 --> 00:21:01,941
♪ Where the chick goes "Shh!" ♪
468
00:21:02,093 --> 00:21:06,020
♪ But no one ever obeys her ♪
469
00:21:06,172 --> 00:21:10,116
♪ 'Cause, really,
what's she shushing for? ♪
470
00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:11,600
This one ain't so great.
471
00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:13,769
♪ I will not listen ♪
472
00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:17,040
♪ She's not the boss of me ♪
473
00:21:19,002 --> 00:21:23,713
♪ And she will never be. ♪
474
00:21:24,841 --> 00:21:26,949
(CRYING)
475
00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,876
End the credits!
476
00:21:30,013 --> 00:21:31,229
Shh!
477
00:21:34,319 --> 00:21:37,331
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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