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00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,710
Media studies 516.
2
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:23,911
Professor Kane.
3
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:27,815
Moneyballs, why
baseball sucks now.
4
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,050
Jocks play sports
and nerds don't.
5
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,225
The one chair.
6
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:39,193
For this paper, I've
assembled the ultimate
7
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:41,462
"Game of Thrones"
fan fiction index.
8
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:44,332
Reverse ranked by character
life expectancy and cra--
9
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,137
Fox News is terrible.
10
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,472
Here's why it makes money.
11
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:53,407
The answer may shock you.
12
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:54,708
When I turn on my TV--
13
00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:00,147
Media studies 516.
14
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,082
Professor Marty Kane.
15
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,917
December 12th, midterm.
16
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,353
Sigurd Rossdale.
17
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:08,756
The subject of
this paper is, was,
18
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:12,393
to be the chrysalis phase
of American pop stars.
19
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:15,229
Wherein high profile
performers alter their image,
20
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,930
change their public face,
21
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,233
become a being so
diametrically opposed
22
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,501
to who they once were,
23
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,270
that the transformation
can only be likened
24
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,637
to a new stage of life.
25
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,575
The more I
investigated, however,
26
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:28,842
the more it struck me
27
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,111
that often there is
no transition phase.
28
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:34,948
Sometimes people just
change, overnight.
29
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:38,319
So, the author of this paper,
30
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:41,989
I am
not Sigurd Rossdale.
31
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,926
Hereinafter referred
to as Shit Heel.
32
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:49,663
I am Shit Heel's ghost writer.
33
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,499
I'm not a student.
34
00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:52,966
I was.
35
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,569
But then tuition like
tripled, my grant got cut.
36
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,039
I chose dropping out
over going broke.
37
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,742
So fuck it.
38
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,477
Now this is my life.
39
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:07,381
I write and sell
papers to students.
40
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:12,320
A lot of students.
41
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,823
Yes, even some from
your classes, Professor.
42
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,792
But this story is
not about them.
43
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:22,463
This story is about Shit Heel,
44
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,698
and you're not gonna like it.
45
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:25,699
I should have known better
46
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,568
the second I walked in the door.
47
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,902
He handed me a Red Bull
48
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,805
like I was the one with
the bloodshot eyes.
49
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,575
The place reeked of
bong water and bullshit.
50
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,944
Wow, are we gonna be
longer than I thought?
51
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,679
- Discussion of the
subject is important.
52
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,881
- How much floor space
does talking take?
53
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,716
- I want this to
sound authentic.
54
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,418
- Don't trust me?
55
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,587
- I don't know you.
56
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,022
- Papers you sent me were
plenty sample materials.
57
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:49,957
- Don't judge.
58
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,425
See, you're emulating now.
59
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:54,628
- 10 pages, single spaced,
"Simpsons," celebrity cameos.
60
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,930
No, I was making it sound like
61
00:04:56,930 --> 00:05:00,033
the person who wrote
that had a good idea.
62
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,134
- You know, I have a 4.0.
63
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,337
Ow, oh, ow.
64
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,573
- He has a four point?
65
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,341
Got a needle?
66
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:10,344
- No, I don't sew.
67
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,278
- Of course not.
68
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:12,413
You use a needle?
69
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,246
- Works.
70
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:14,915
- Ow.
71
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,420
I might have a safety pin.
72
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,288
- It's a crap class, you know.
73
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,423
- What?
74
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,591
Alt Cinema?
75
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:24,925
- Professor's a wanker,
76
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:28,061
the topics are
pretentious, and so is he.
77
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,230
You know, he doesn't
accept papers by email.
78
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,865
- Oh, I know.
79
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,502
- And Alternative
Cinema, really?
80
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:35,703
Alternative to what?
81
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,938
That assumes a norm
that cannot be assumed.
82
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,609
- You don't think there's
a norm in filmmaking?
83
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,110
Hell no.
84
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,479
Unless you mean contemporary,
85
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:48,081
American heterosexual
filmmaking.
86
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,016
- That's the point.
87
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,418
That is exactly what was meant.
88
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,587
- Is that shit on the end?
89
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:54,855
- Oh, it's resin.
90
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,123
Here, you want some?
91
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:57,691
- No.
92
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,560
Some grad student.
93
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,662
Alt Cin is a 200 level.
94
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,597
It's for sophomores
and burn outs.
95
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,065
Should you towel the door?
96
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:05,933
No offense.
97
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,504
The pin.
98
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,072
- I did.
- No.
99
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,042
It's right here.
100
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,878
- It's filthy.
101
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:18,712
Hey.
102
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,048
Finger.
103
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,719
- Oh.
104
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,121
Ow.
105
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,757
Fuck it, ow, ow, shit.
106
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,091
- Look, I'm not a surgeon.
107
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:34,194
You do your finger,
and I'll stop the pain.
108
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:37,631
- I hadn't finished
telling you how I want--
109
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:38,899
- It's fine.
110
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:42,603
Hidden homo eroticism
in mainstream movies,
111
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,604
1980 to present.
112
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,773
- Don't say movies.
113
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,308
- You're one of
those film assholes.
114
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,409
You cannot say movies.
115
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,344
You must say film.
116
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,714
Almost be cute if it
weren't incorrect.
117
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,348
- Movies is slang
for motion picture.
118
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,750
We don't fucking
call 'em talkies.
119
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,918
- What if they're shot on HD?
120
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,820
What are they then,
film or video?
121
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,388
- The term film has come to mean
122
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:02,389
to the collective film--
123
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,624
- That's it's only job.
124
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:04,925
All movies depict movement,
125
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,727
but not all films
are shot on film.
126
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:07,595
- It implies respect
for the subject.
127
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:08,929
- For the subject?
128
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,498
No, it's personal.
129
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:13,366
You film students, it'd have
to be called video students,
130
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,135
and who wants that?
131
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,904
- My finger really
fucking hurts.
132
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,171
- Next time leave
the bed where it is.
133
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,106
- Am I paying you?
134
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:19,907
Not yet you haven't.
135
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,141
- Oh, it's right there.
136
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,075
So listen to me.
- On the dresser?
137
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,376
- I have my thesis to work on.
138
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,512
I have no interest
in this class.
139
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:25,445
The Prof is a wanker,
140
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,914
and if it wasn't a requirement,
141
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,315
I would take a dump in
his lectern and walk off.
142
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,717
- I'll stop you right there.
143
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:33,020
- But it is a requirement.
144
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,655
And my success, my
academic success,
145
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,289
which in turn determines
my professional success,
146
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,859
is very, very important to me.
147
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,628
I sleep on alternate Tuesdays.
148
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:41,962
And here is this class,
149
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,764
these bullshit
credits to fulfill,
150
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,265
which do
abso-fucking-lutely nothing,
151
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:48,669
so you, this, this
is time management.
152
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,804
You are not here because
I can not write a paper.
153
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,841
You are not here to
Cyrano some fool to glory.
154
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,809
You are here to do my chores.
155
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,044
- Yeah, fine.
156
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,546
- And I want my
chores done right.
157
00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:00,748
- I can't defend
what happened next.
158
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:01,982
Have fun, Cinderella.
159
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,216
I don't need this shit.
160
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,519
- It's a bad way to do business.
161
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,420
- I do business
with whom I choose.
162
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,257
One thing I'm not is
your fucking maid.
163
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,292
I don't do windows,
I don't take orders.
164
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,827
And if you have a
problem with that,
165
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,463
good luck finding a house
keeper who knows Fellini.
166
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,499
So, want to do this or what?
167
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,001
- Yeah, I do.
168
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,536
- Yeah.
169
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:23,370
You do.
170
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,773
No, no, no no no.
171
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,276
I think he's a witch.
172
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,551
I got it all worked out.
173
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:38,485
- Yeah?
174
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:39,953
- Title and everything.
175
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,121
- Alright, let's hear it.
176
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,023
- "Last Tango in Cash in Paris,"
177
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,825
everything you
might have suspected
178
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:46,193
about the buddy flick,
179
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,396
but were too afraid to ask.
180
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,232
- Wow, that's really good.
181
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,305
Floor or bed?
182
00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,139
- Whatever.
183
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:01,675
- Ow, oh.
184
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:05,278
- Got it.
185
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,749
That was probably a mistake.
186
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,684
A fun mistake.
187
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:11,885
But I was kicking myself
188
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,087
before I even got home.
189
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,022
The last thing you want
190
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,289
is a client like Shit Heel
191
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,759
getting confused
about what he bought.
192
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,762
I wrote his paper,
hastily, if I'm honest.
193
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,231
Thought that was the
last I'd see of him.
194
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,100
But some people have a
way of finding you again.
195
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,135
- Hi.
196
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:28,969
Busy?
197
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:30,638
- I have a meeting.
198
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:33,573
You're gonna scare him off.
199
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,609
- Is it business or pleasure?
200
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,912
- Definitely business.
201
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,280
- I got an A in Alt Cinema.
202
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,149
- Knew you would.
203
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,483
- Well, you did.
204
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,653
So please, hats off.
205
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,254
- It's been on cable all month.
206
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,355
Kane's a sucker for puns.
207
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,422
The rest writes itself.
208
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,590
- Oh.
209
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,159
You should charge extra.
210
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,326
- Writing papers?
211
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,327
- Yeah, make it a surcharge.
212
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:55,262
Why not?
213
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,697
- Some people don't want As.
214
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:57,898
- Really?
215
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,566
- Yeah, I mean,
they might want 'em,
216
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,302
but some people have never
had an A in their lives.
217
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,971
Wouldn't seem like their work.
218
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,338
That's how you get busted.
219
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,273
- Yeah, yeah.
220
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,641
If pride goeth before I fall.
221
00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,878
- I'm serious, he won't
come if you're here.
222
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,147
- Did you write it
for him already?
223
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,115
He'll come.
224
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:17,918
- Freshman.
225
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:18,852
First time.
226
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:19,953
- Now I see why you're so cocky.
227
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,488
You do frosh papers.
- Go away.
228
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,224
- I have a project for you.
229
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,025
- Due when?
230
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,526
I'm busy these days.
231
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:28,428
- Next week, Tuesday.
232
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:29,863
- What's the class?
233
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:30,998
- Politics and Policy.
234
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,366
- I thought you
were media studies.
235
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:36,303
- Well, politics
is a media event.
236
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,171
- Such bullshit.
237
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,973
- No, no, policy is
shaped by our perception.
238
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,710
Our perception of politicians
and their campaigns,
239
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,344
their affairs, how they
appear on television,
240
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,612
or HuffPo, or--
- Yeah I get it.
241
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,380
But shouldn't the
class be called
242
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,817
Policy and Politics
through the media,
243
00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,351
or something
over-descriptive like that?
244
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,886
- No, no, that would presume
245
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,155
that we're viewing our subject
from a tangential position.
246
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,425
Without the media, there is
no such thing as politics.
247
00:10:58,425 --> 00:10:59,827
Null and void.
- That's ridiculous.
248
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,561
Process and principles
of government.
249
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,430
What they do, simple as that.
250
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,597
- No, leaders who make decisions
251
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:05,598
without the public's knowledge
252
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,801
is internal affairs, covert ops.
253
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,302
That is not politics.
254
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:10,738
- You're baiting me.
255
00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:11,671
Well if a
tree falls in the forest.
256
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,006
- It fucking makes a sound.
257
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,842
That's the stupidest
saying ever.
258
00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:17,077
- Okay, maybe.
259
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,979
But there's no one
around the describe it.
260
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,682
Fuck.
261
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,218
Hey, you don't like me now?
262
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,419
- I never liked you.
263
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,455
- Well you haven't
heard my proposal yet.
264
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,024
- Policy, politics,
told you, I'm busy.
265
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,659
- What if I booked you 'til
the end of the semester?
266
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,361
Wait a second.
267
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,563
All of my classes, everything.
268
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,397
- You can't afford it.
269
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,398
- I'm dead serious.
270
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,332
I could bankroll
you exclusively.
271
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,106
- You want me to be
your paper slave?
272
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,574
- Ghost writer, thank you.
273
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:48,742
Come on, you can focus.
274
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,577
No frosh year remedial math.
275
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:51,779
No switching voices.
276
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,146
It's one family of topics.
277
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,314
- Family isn't right.
278
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,582
- It just makes it easier.
279
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:56,984
Most of the work is
for one professor.
280
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:57,951
- Wanker?
- Yes, the very one.
281
00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:00,587
He does Alt. Cinema 516--
282
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:01,855
- 516?
283
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,290
- Yeah, Media Studies 516.
- I know.
284
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,425
Isn't that like the
foundation of your degree?
285
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,929
- If you want to be
technical, yes, it is--
286
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,798
- You want me to ghost
the most important class.
287
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:13,300
- No, there is nothing
important about that class.
288
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:16,503
After six years, I can tell you,
289
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:18,238
all I want are the
letters after my name.
290
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,807
All the school wants are
federally-backed loans.
291
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:20,740
That is a deal we cut.
292
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,175
The only thing I will do in here
293
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,945
that matters out
there is my thesis.
294
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:31,785
- I don't like it.
295
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,354
Why not?
296
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,588
You score grades all the time.
297
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,523
- Not all scores
are created equal.
298
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,258
Some are froshy papers.
299
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,192
Cookie cutter stuff.
300
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,861
I can pull one in advance.
301
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,095
I've done from my vault.
302
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,032
- You have a vault?
303
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,967
- Yeah, how do you think
I keep up with demand?
304
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,136
I only do original material.
305
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,637
- I kind of thought
that was the idea.
306
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:53,807
- You'd be surprised how
many ghosts are still swift.
307
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,075
- But not you.
308
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,476
- Straight lifts from
excellent material,
309
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,978
even light lifts
can get you flagged
310
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,047
by the grading software.
311
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,882
The only business that matters
is repeat business, so yeah.
312
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,117
- Excuse us.
- I have a vault.
313
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,220
But that won't work for you.
314
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,156
You need tailors.
315
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:12,692
Custom designs for your
very own special voice.
316
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,528
A whole semester's worth.
317
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,765
Do you get what that entails?
318
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,200
- I will pay you double.
319
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,473
Admit it, you ever try to
lift a whole degree before?
320
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,643
- What about the other thing?
321
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,647
- That's your name for it?
322
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,018
- I just want to
know what to expect
323
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:41,754
as your paper slave.
- No, subcontractor.
324
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,156
- Cyrano.
325
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:43,991
You're Cyrano.
326
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,135
I don't understand this at all.
327
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,905
Thus began a fruitful time.
328
00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,306
A collaborative time.
329
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,841
I cut loose my other clients,
330
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,945
which felt uncomfortably
like going steady.
331
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:07,314
But there just
wasn't room for 'em.
332
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:10,217
For weeks, I was camped
out at his apartment,
333
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,886
writing paper after paper.
334
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:17,290
I only came back home for my
clothes and birth control.
335
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,392
And when we needed to get out,
336
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,194
we'd go back to campus.
337
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,130
Do the handoff in public.
338
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,831
Like playing spies.
339
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,800
And I had to admit, Sigurd,
340
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,504
Shit Heel was right.
341
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:35,375
Before we met, I'd been
spinning my wheels.
342
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,578
Lateral movement may
as well be no movement.
343
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,881
For a change, it felt like
I was getting somewhere.
344
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,684
"Video Drum," 1983.
345
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,220
James Woods is sucked into
an erotically violent TV show
346
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,090
and grows a tape
deck in his belly.
347
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,291
X extends--
- It's a vagina.
348
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,726
- A vagina tape deck, yes.
349
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:57,897
X extends 1999 Jude Law
and Jennifer Jason-Leigh
350
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,000
sucked into a violently
erotic video game,
351
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,369
and grow plug-in ports
in the lower spine.
352
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:03,603
- Not those, they're
their assholes.
353
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,173
- These films were
made 16 years apart.
354
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,275
The only difference between
them is the technology.
355
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,542
- And the orifice.
356
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,978
- Is it just me or
did David Conimer
357
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,246
spend the last 30 years
making the same film?
358
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,181
- You really should try this.
359
00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,015
Here look.
360
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,051
Alright, suit yourself.
361
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,486
- We get it, I mean,
362
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,188
man has machine, machine is sex,
363
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,390
and everything else
is really a bug.
364
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:26,259
- Come on, I'm eating, food.
365
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,361
- This week's paper
is on "Video Drum"
366
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,597
and the employment of
the sexually grotesque.
367
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,633
- Okay.
368
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,169
- Okay, so next week's
paper is on "Dead Ringers"
369
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,171
and the employment of
the sexually grotesque.
370
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,506
- Okay.
- Okay?
371
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,309
- It's about gynecology.
372
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:43,743
What do you want?
373
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,578
- By the time we
get past spotter,
374
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,880
I would've written
the same thing, like--
375
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,516
- Okay, this has
pineapple in it.
376
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,218
Pineapple is--
- It's not like this
377
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:53,120
is gonna be interesting.
- Nature's sponge.
378
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,654
- I mean the guy invented a
forearm that if you just--
379
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,089
- It tastes like
whatever you put it in.
380
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,224
Anything.
381
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,058
- I thought that was tofu.
382
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:58,992
- No, who eats that?
383
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:01,861
- He doesn't acknowledge
prior discussion.
384
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:04,831
He leaves the biggest
questions unasked.
385
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,735
What makes a man dedicate
his life to monstrosity?
386
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:11,371
What, is it the
monsters inside his head
387
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:12,505
he needs to get out?
388
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,008
Or are the nightmares
really for us?
389
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,077
Why can't we talk about that?
390
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,046
He asks so little of us.
391
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:21,781
What?
392
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:24,184
- Us.
393
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,285
You're not taking the class.
394
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:26,519
He asks so little of me.
395
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,589
Come on.
396
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:30,423
You love it.
397
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,460
- It's just pineapple.
398
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,294
- Cronenberg.
399
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,896
It's indulgence to
spend three grand
400
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,298
or whatever on the seminar.
401
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,666
A purely theoretical discussion
402
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,069
of an eccentric writer-director,
403
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:45,572
who has no bearing
on foreign policy
404
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,274
or climate change or the debt.
405
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,210
It's a film asshole thing.
406
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:52,745
And you,
407
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:54,814
you love it.
408
00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:00,453
- I'm just trying to do my job.
409
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,538
- Hey.
410
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,174
- Yeah?
411
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,242
- Did you try something?
412
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,377
- Yeah, what?
413
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,082
- Don't get freaked out.
414
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,650
Remember you can say no.
415
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,191
- Show me or shut up.
416
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,064
- I have this thing.
417
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:46,833
- What thing?
418
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,076
- It's a dog fibula.
419
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,145
Not too wide.
420
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,190
What if I gently...
421
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:15,094
- I don't.
422
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,364
- Or you could.
423
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,399
- No.
424
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:21,868
- Okay.
425
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,077
- Is it your dog?
426
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,781
- No, no, that would be weird.
427
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,249
I found it, I was hiking.
428
00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:39,452
Wanted to turn it into a pipe.
429
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,287
It's too thin.
430
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,625
- Have you used it before?
431
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:48,428
On other women.
432
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:50,430
- No.
433
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:52,532
No.
434
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:54,934
- You're lying.
435
00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,071
- Yes.
436
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,142
- Who?
437
00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:06,646
- No one important.
438
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:10,217
- No one?
439
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:12,752
- It's clean.
440
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,258
- It can't be.
441
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,792
It's porous.
442
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,466
It was in an animal.
443
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,270
Then in the ground.
444
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:33,473
And in women now.
445
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:37,610
Different women like you
were checking their oil.
446
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,780
- This bone is
like God's finger.
447
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,616
It can reach where mine can't.
448
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:46,986
It can touch you in places
449
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,221
that will make you
speak backward.
450
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:06,005
- You have no idea
how violent you are.
451
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:11,944
- David Cronenberg was certainly
452
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:14,514
not the first to link
intercourse with machinery.
453
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,184
But he sure
understood that dance.
454
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,989
He said secretly the edge saw
had a vagina in the front.
455
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,426
Of course, everybody
said, wait a minute.
456
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,628
Cars have to be cocks.
457
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,029
There's gonna be a disaster.
458
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,433
Maybe women will like it.
459
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:35,568
- Shit Heel doesn't have a car.
460
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,103
He has,
461
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,671
something else.
462
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:41,308
That is the last time
we fuck in your van.
463
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:42,409
Would
you get back here?
464
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:43,710
- Last time.
465
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,345
You're too ashamed to
keep me in your room,
466
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,746
find a hotel room, money bags,
467
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,014
which you will pay for.
468
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,148
I don't care how late
your daddy's check came.
469
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,617
- I told you as soon as I get
470
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:51,784
even a single fucking penny.
- Super, I don't care.
471
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,920
Motel 6 infestations,
very fat desk,
472
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,589
look, anything but that
putrid mother fucking van.
473
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:57,490
I need air.
474
00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,801
Some people had
a camp fire here.
475
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,737
They were drinking the same.
476
00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:13,172
- Yeah, you're probably
sitting in broken glass.
477
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,074
- No more van, God damn it.
478
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,008
The van reeks.
479
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,977
- Well whose fault is that?
480
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,145
It reeks of our love.
481
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,982
- Oh, common cinnamon
Christmas trees.
482
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:24,451
- I could switch to
pine, if you like.
483
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,753
- You need a whole pine forest.
484
00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:28,955
Or the yellow kind.
485
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:31,057
- What do the yellow
trees smell like?
486
00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:31,891
- Lemon?
487
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,125
- Who cares?
488
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,026
My back is breaking
out from new rock.
489
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,328
Prissy.
490
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:36,262
- I'm not.
491
00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:38,331
- I like my van the way it is.
492
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:39,532
- Crawling?
493
00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:41,968
Says the
woman ass deep in dirt.
494
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,870
- I'm on a log, thank you.
495
00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:45,237
- Which isn't dirty?
496
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:47,774
- Logs are supposed
to have worms in them.
497
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:49,542
I think most people would agree
498
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:51,010
that carpets are--
- Most people are prissy.
499
00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,211
Most people have a backwards
view of what is clean
500
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:53,179
and what is dirty.
- Stop saying that word!
501
00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:54,547
Upholstery causing skin rash,
502
00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:55,247
I would consider--
- You don't have a skin rash.
503
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:56,549
- I do, look.
504
00:21:56,549 --> 00:21:57,350
- Okay.
505
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:01,388
Well, that's gross.
- See?
506
00:22:01,388 --> 00:22:02,622
- No, there's nothing there.
507
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:03,523
I'm kidding, you
don't have a rash.
508
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:04,457
- I itch.
509
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:05,257
- Do you want me to clean it?
510
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:06,192
- Don't touch me.
511
00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:07,794
- The van.
512
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:08,761
- Do what you want.
513
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,363
- If it bugs you, I'll clean it.
514
00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:13,533
What the fuck?
515
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:14,934
- What are we even
doing here, Sigurd?
516
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:16,603
It's a field trip.
517
00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:19,005
- How's your thesis
coming along?
518
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,607
Because unless it's
about rotting logs,
519
00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:23,242
I think you're
wasting your time.
520
00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:25,712
I've been sitting in your
apartment for three days now,
521
00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,714
and you've been with
me the entire time.
522
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,316
- Well we're out here now.
523
00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:34,854
Your notes are in my van.
524
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,155
Fuck my notes!
525
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:39,258
- Vanilla.
526
00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:41,160
Yellow trees are vanilla.
527
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,862
I wanted to
set fire to something.
528
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:46,766
I settled for the
next best thing.
529
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:48,701
Do you recall, Professor,
530
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,970
the feminist-bent
Shit Heel took on
531
00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:53,272
in the weeks after Fall break?
532
00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:55,975
On the sidelines, your
border-line chauvinist
533
00:22:55,975 --> 00:23:00,212
pupil's sudden advocacy
for gender parody on ESPN.
534
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,882
I was sure he'd discover
my quiet rebellion
535
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:04,717
when the grade came back.
536
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:09,188
But instead, he asked me to
start doing the drop-offs.
537
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:10,256
He didn't have time.
538
00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:12,058
His thesis, you know.
539
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:15,161
It just proved what I'd
already come to suspect.
540
00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:17,797
He was no longer
reading my work.
541
00:23:19,799 --> 00:23:22,134
So I threw one in for spite.
542
00:23:22,134 --> 00:23:24,537
A fleeing of the usual suspects
543
00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:26,939
as exclusionary boys club.
544
00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:30,577
He would sooner call
"Goodfellas" a little slow.
545
00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:32,512
No way he'd let this one slide.
546
00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:36,683
Except he did.
547
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:43,422
I think
Snoopy has a couple of spots.
548
00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:50,663
- Yeah?
549
00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:51,498
Hey.
550
00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:55,468
Is it a bad time?
551
00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:58,671
- No, just finishing dinner.
552
00:23:59,672 --> 00:24:00,607
Okay, sorry.
553
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:02,374
I don't want to stand between
554
00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:04,844
you and your pumpkin pies.
555
00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:07,747
- It's fine.
556
00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:12,752
So when
finals are over,
557
00:24:12,752 --> 00:24:14,253
we should talk about,
558
00:24:14,253 --> 00:24:15,454
or when the break's over,
559
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,423
we should talk about finals.
560
00:24:17,423 --> 00:24:19,692
- I'm not taking your
finals for you, Sigurd.
561
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,294
If you didn't learn
what you needed to
562
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:23,763
during the semester.
- No I know.
563
00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:25,297
I wasn't expecting you to.
- It's not my problem.
564
00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:30,670
What are you
getting out of this?
565
00:24:31,738 --> 00:24:33,740
Huh?
566
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:36,576
- I mean, I don't have
a contract, you know.
567
00:24:36,576 --> 00:24:38,077
So if you're not
into it anymore--
568
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:39,245
There's
this weird noise.
569
00:24:39,245 --> 00:24:40,513
Are you doing
dishes or something?
570
00:24:40,513 --> 00:24:41,514
When I get--
571
00:24:41,514 --> 00:24:43,850
- No, I'm just,
572
00:24:43,850 --> 00:24:46,118
I just said I'm not, I
don't have a contract.
573
00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:48,187
Go ahead.
574
00:24:48,187 --> 00:24:49,321
I'm asking you over.
575
00:24:50,256 --> 00:24:51,423
- What?
576
00:24:51,423 --> 00:24:52,892
Like a date.
577
00:24:52,892 --> 00:24:54,827
- In your apartment, again.
578
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:55,828
Yeah a viewing party,
579
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:57,997
for something near to my heart.
580
00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:58,865
Say yes.
581
00:25:02,602 --> 00:25:03,435
- Alright.
582
00:25:06,639 --> 00:25:09,075
That's close
enough, I'll take it.
583
00:25:09,075 --> 00:25:10,042
Happy Thanksgiving.
584
00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:14,146
Well you know.
585
00:25:14,146 --> 00:25:17,349
There's Snoopy
rounding the corner.
586
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:18,585
Speaking of Peanuts.
587
00:25:18,585 --> 00:25:21,721
It's a great site to see Snoopy.
588
00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:26,292
- What the hell are you doing?
589
00:25:26,292 --> 00:25:27,627
- I'm just looking for my damn,
590
00:25:27,627 --> 00:25:28,961
oh fuck.
- What?
591
00:25:28,961 --> 00:25:30,362
What, what?
592
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:31,731
- No, shoot, it's starting.
593
00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:35,935
I don't know.
594
00:25:35,935 --> 00:25:37,937
I think we should talk
to somebody about it.
595
00:25:37,937 --> 00:25:39,405
Oh I don't know.
596
00:25:39,405 --> 00:25:41,674
Everybody will pretty
much everything go there.
597
00:25:42,609 --> 00:25:44,744
It doesn't seem fair.
598
00:25:44,744 --> 00:25:47,847
See that's what I was--
599
00:25:47,847 --> 00:25:52,118
It's a commercial break.
600
00:25:52,118 --> 00:25:53,620
It's a Wendy's commercial.
601
00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:55,054
- I know, I just can't get
past the square burger.
602
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:56,355
It doesn't taste the same.
603
00:25:58,357 --> 00:26:00,226
Now at Wendy's.
604
00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:02,128
- God damn, I hate commercials.
605
00:26:02,128 --> 00:26:04,296
Don't you have this shit
on DVD, or something?
606
00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:06,165
- See, if I don't
watch it in real time,
607
00:26:06,165 --> 00:26:07,399
then some other dip shit will,
608
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,335
and that dip shit
will be the dip shit
609
00:26:09,335 --> 00:26:11,604
they base their
fault line up around.
610
00:26:11,604 --> 00:26:13,806
- You know you don't have
a Nielsen box, right?
611
00:26:13,806 --> 00:26:16,275
- DVR, every house is
a Nielsen house now.
612
00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:18,010
- Wait, you have a DVR?
613
00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:18,845
- Yeah.
614
00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:21,047
Whoa, oh.
615
00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:22,649
You have to stop this.
616
00:26:22,649 --> 00:26:23,482
Stop fighting.
617
00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:39,065
Well you know,
618
00:26:39,065 --> 00:26:40,232
I suppose if they were
going to get litigious,
619
00:26:40,232 --> 00:26:42,601
they could all
just come after me.
620
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,904
Being a bad teacher
sometimes has limitation.
621
00:26:44,904 --> 00:26:47,940
- Did the 516 paper
come back yet?
622
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,041
Just wondering if you noticed--
623
00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:50,843
- Apu rocks.
624
00:26:50,843 --> 00:26:52,344
Watch.
625
00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,780
Thank you, come again.
626
00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:56,348
One beverage please.
627
00:26:56,348 --> 00:26:57,917
- Watch these people here.
628
00:26:57,917 --> 00:26:58,918
Wait for it.
629
00:27:02,054 --> 00:27:03,255
That's a pretty
straightforward homage.
630
00:27:03,255 --> 00:27:06,558
- Have you seen
Requiem for a Dream?
631
00:27:06,558 --> 00:27:07,794
- How high are you?
632
00:27:07,794 --> 00:27:08,594
- That's genius homage.
- From one to Whitney
633
00:27:08,594 --> 00:27:09,762
Houston in a bath tub.
634
00:27:09,762 --> 00:27:11,864
How high are you right now?
635
00:27:11,864 --> 00:27:14,466
- I mean, I was about
to crack a beer.
636
00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:15,301
Other than that.
637
00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:20,139
- I told you no more
"Simpsons" abstracts.
638
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:22,374
- Okay, so, alright, we won't.
639
00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:25,011
- And it's not even
an impressive homage.
640
00:27:25,011 --> 00:27:26,178
I mean, we get it.
641
00:27:26,178 --> 00:27:27,947
Homer's drug of
choice is the Ribwich.
642
00:27:27,947 --> 00:27:29,749
It's no more potent than speed
643
00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:32,284
to a dieting
housewife for heroine
644
00:27:32,284 --> 00:27:35,054
to Jennifer Connelly
and what's-her-face.
645
00:27:35,054 --> 00:27:36,322
What's his name?
646
00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:37,123
- He looks like a
girl, Jared Leto.
647
00:27:37,123 --> 00:27:38,224
- Jared fucking Leto.
648
00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:40,727
I mean, this stupid bullshit,
649
00:27:40,727 --> 00:27:43,029
the Ribwich bullshit
is missing the point.
650
00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:44,731
It's missing the ethical debate.
651
00:27:44,731 --> 00:27:46,532
Should Lisa take a bribe,
652
00:27:46,532 --> 00:27:48,234
and take a dive in
the spelling bee,
653
00:27:48,234 --> 00:27:49,401
and let that stupid
poster boy take--
654
00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:50,837
- So you have seen it then?
655
00:27:50,837 --> 00:27:51,670
- Of course I've seen it.
656
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,505
Everyone's seen it.
657
00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:56,242
What happens when she decides
to do the right thing,
658
00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:59,712
she fucks up a word and
she loses everything.
659
00:28:00,913 --> 00:28:01,848
Your
kids spells things
660
00:28:01,848 --> 00:28:03,950
pretty good there, Homer.
661
00:28:03,950 --> 00:28:07,253
Yeah, me and Carl
don't spell so good.
662
00:28:07,253 --> 00:28:08,520
Yeah that's right.
663
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:12,158
- I think you have a
handle on your work.
664
00:28:13,592 --> 00:28:14,526
Wait,
what are you doing?
665
00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:16,262
- Just watch the TV, it's fine.
666
00:28:16,262 --> 00:28:18,164
- The whole point was
to watch with you.
667
00:28:18,164 --> 00:28:19,465
You know, you come over,
668
00:28:19,465 --> 00:28:22,434
we watch a dumb cartoon,
and have a laugh,
669
00:28:22,434 --> 00:28:23,669
maybe make out a little.
670
00:28:23,669 --> 00:28:25,371
- Discussion of the
subject is important.
671
00:28:25,371 --> 00:28:26,305
- What subject?
672
00:28:26,305 --> 00:28:27,473
It's what you said.
673
00:28:27,473 --> 00:28:28,908
- You want to discuss
the "Simpsons?"
674
00:28:28,908 --> 00:28:29,842
- You don't want to
discuss anything.
675
00:28:29,842 --> 00:28:31,978
- Alright, I'm fucking lost.
676
00:28:31,978 --> 00:28:33,679
- Forget it, just
watch your show.
677
00:28:37,884 --> 00:28:40,887
You insisted we discuss
every and and the
678
00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:42,354
in every single paper.
679
00:28:42,354 --> 00:28:44,723
My academic success
is important to me.
680
00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:45,557
That's what you said.
- You remember saying
681
00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:46,725
I didn't trust you?
682
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:47,994
- You're missing the point.
683
00:28:47,994 --> 00:28:50,096
- You are bent on
feeling insulted.
684
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:55,401
Come on.
685
00:28:55,401 --> 00:28:57,203
Hey, you're gonna
freeze your tits off.
686
00:28:57,203 --> 00:28:58,004
- Fuck you!
687
00:28:59,171 --> 00:29:01,240
These papers are for
your graduate degree.
688
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,674
They're part of what
you do to earn it.
689
00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:04,376
- A diploma does not
mean that you're smart.
690
00:29:04,376 --> 00:29:05,644
It means you do as you're told.
691
00:29:05,644 --> 00:29:07,546
- Yeah, it's part
of the deal you cut,
692
00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:09,181
and you're welshing on the deal.
693
00:29:09,181 --> 00:29:12,018
- It's right, I could
just drop out like you.
694
00:29:12,018 --> 00:29:13,185
- I couldn't afford it.
695
00:29:13,185 --> 00:29:14,320
I don't have your money.
696
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,322
- Oh you didn't respect it.
697
00:29:17,890 --> 00:29:20,359
You think the achievement
itself is specious
698
00:29:20,359 --> 00:29:23,796
and the arbiter is someone whose
intellect is beneath yours.
699
00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:25,798
He expects so little
of us, you remember?
700
00:29:25,798 --> 00:29:26,999
- I don't sound like that.
701
00:29:26,999 --> 00:29:28,200
- Fuck, alright,
just take your coat.
702
00:29:29,635 --> 00:29:33,372
- You know, I'm smarter than
all the fuckers out there.
703
00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:35,641
But when I go, when I leave,
704
00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:37,109
when this falls through,
705
00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:39,311
I'll be qualified for a
minimum wage at Jamba Juice,
706
00:29:39,311 --> 00:29:40,479
and that's not fair.
707
00:29:40,479 --> 00:29:41,713
- Fair?
708
00:29:41,713 --> 00:29:42,982
How long have you been
haunting this joint,
709
00:29:42,982 --> 00:29:44,216
getting freshmen out
of their homework?
710
00:29:44,216 --> 00:29:46,285
- It's what I know how to do.
711
00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:47,553
- There's a moral answer.
712
00:29:47,553 --> 00:29:49,155
- I never claim morals.
713
00:29:49,155 --> 00:29:51,457
- But you did question mine.
714
00:29:51,457 --> 00:29:52,992
- Look, I know
everyone could benefit
715
00:29:52,992 --> 00:29:55,027
from a secretary, I get that.
716
00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:57,763
I did it not because
of the money.
717
00:29:57,763 --> 00:29:59,999
Well, okay, a lot
because of the money,
718
00:29:59,999 --> 00:30:04,636
but because I felt like we
weren't cheating doing this.
719
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,305
- We were always cheating.
720
00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:08,875
- But you obviously
cared about the work.
721
00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:12,511
You got so turned on by ideas.
722
00:30:14,246 --> 00:30:16,115
I don't know, I
thought maybe one day
723
00:30:16,115 --> 00:30:17,884
you might even show
me your thesis.
724
00:30:19,751 --> 00:30:22,554
But it's been all
"Simpsons" and dirty sex.
725
00:30:22,554 --> 00:30:23,689
Maybe you just used me.
726
00:30:26,725 --> 00:30:28,327
I don't know, I thought
you were different.
727
00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:29,261
- You thought what?
728
00:30:29,261 --> 00:30:30,562
- I thought you were different.
729
00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:34,433
I was right.
730
00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:36,402
- Okay I've used you.
731
00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,771
Okay, I used you, as a friend.
732
00:30:42,408 --> 00:30:43,609
I've used you as a lover.
733
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:48,480
As an equal, as a superior mind.
734
00:30:50,983 --> 00:30:52,284
But here's the thing.
735
00:30:52,284 --> 00:30:54,220
When someone says I
could use you here,
736
00:30:56,455 --> 00:30:58,324
what they mean is
I want you here.
737
00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:01,693
I want you here.
738
00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:02,895
You keep me awake.
739
00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:06,398
I don't hound you
about my papers
740
00:31:06,398 --> 00:31:07,499
because I trust you.
741
00:31:09,668 --> 00:31:11,103
I trust you, Annalee.
742
00:31:12,571 --> 00:31:13,872
I sure could use you here.
743
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,654
- For an asshole,
that was awful sweet.
744
00:31:50,442 --> 00:31:51,477
So you want to
talk a little later
745
00:31:51,477 --> 00:31:54,280
about the next 516 paper?
746
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,647
- Colbert's on soon.
747
00:31:55,647 --> 00:31:57,049
- I mean it.
748
00:31:57,049 --> 00:31:59,385
I want to start talking again.
- Okay, okay, okay.
749
00:32:00,619 --> 00:32:02,088
- I was thinking,
750
00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:04,756
the chrysalis phase
of American pop stars.
751
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:05,591
- Oh, that's terrific.
752
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:06,658
What does that mean?
753
00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:08,827
- What's this?
754
00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:12,498
I did it not because
of the money.
755
00:32:12,498 --> 00:32:13,765
A lot because of the money.
756
00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:17,236
Sigurd, what the fuck?
757
00:32:17,236 --> 00:32:21,974
I am not Sigurd Rossdale.
758
00:32:23,109 --> 00:32:26,078
Hereinafter referred
to as Shit Heel.
759
00:32:27,246 --> 00:32:29,515
Told you you weren't
gonna like it.
760
00:32:29,515 --> 00:32:32,584
I expect you know what
to do now, Professor.
761
00:32:32,584 --> 00:32:34,553
Happy Solstice.
762
00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:35,821
The paper store.
763
00:32:35,821 --> 00:32:38,424
- I want to thank you
both for coming here.
764
00:32:38,424 --> 00:32:39,958
Miss Monaghan, it's good
to finally meet you.
765
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:41,027
Mm-hmm.
766
00:32:41,927 --> 00:32:42,761
Mr. Rossdale.
767
00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:43,996
- Can we skip this?
768
00:32:43,996 --> 00:32:44,796
I just want to know if
I should be packing.
769
00:32:44,796 --> 00:32:46,632
- You should be packing.
770
00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:48,334
- You've got nerve.
771
00:32:48,334 --> 00:32:49,535
- You bet ya.
- Alright, alright.
772
00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:50,669
We're just here to talk.
773
00:32:50,669 --> 00:32:51,937
- Why?
774
00:32:51,937 --> 00:32:53,439
You got his paper
three weeks ago.
775
00:32:53,439 --> 00:32:55,341
Shit Heel should be halfway
up his own creek by now.
776
00:32:55,341 --> 00:32:56,642
- That's nice.
777
00:32:56,642 --> 00:32:57,909
It's Winter break.
778
00:32:57,909 --> 00:32:59,178
I think that creek
is frozen right now.
779
00:32:59,178 --> 00:33:00,679
- Nice.
780
00:33:00,679 --> 00:33:02,981
- The Dean isn't coming
back from Beaumont Somero,
781
00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:05,017
wherever he is, just
to sort out this,
782
00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:09,821
well we don't really know
what to call this, do we?
783
00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:10,922
- Don't we?
784
00:33:10,922 --> 00:33:11,857
What do you need?
785
00:33:11,857 --> 00:33:13,459
Do you need it in writing?
786
00:33:13,459 --> 00:33:15,561
Oh, that's right, you
have it in writing.
787
00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:16,795
- Your version.
788
00:33:16,795 --> 00:33:19,365
- Oh, did you want
to make a statement?
789
00:33:19,365 --> 00:33:20,199
Please.
790
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,235
I implore you, go on.
791
00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:27,005
I didn't think so.
792
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,575
I can't imagine you painting
793
00:33:29,575 --> 00:33:32,411
a more thorough
picture than she did.
794
00:33:33,479 --> 00:33:35,681
Which brings me to the question.
795
00:33:35,681 --> 00:33:37,616
Annalee, if I may.
796
00:33:37,616 --> 00:33:38,984
What did you hope to accomplish
797
00:33:38,984 --> 00:33:40,352
by sending this to me?
798
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:42,888
- I wanted to bust his ass.
799
00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:47,159
You said
that I might be familiar
800
00:33:47,159 --> 00:33:49,428
with some of your prior work.
801
00:33:49,428 --> 00:33:51,330
- My clients are my business.
802
00:33:52,831 --> 00:33:54,800
- Yell cheating on
a college campus
803
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,169
is like yelling suicide
is a psych ward.
804
00:33:58,537 --> 00:33:59,805
Your little confessional.
805
00:33:59,805 --> 00:34:01,039
- Not confessional, expose.
806
00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:05,177
When you confess,
you sign your name.
807
00:34:05,177 --> 00:34:07,979
He only
had so many bargaining chips.
808
00:34:09,148 --> 00:34:11,350
He had to figure he was
gonna use one of them.
809
00:34:11,350 --> 00:34:13,685
- Yeah, I didn't think
he'd be that stupid.
810
00:34:13,685 --> 00:34:15,754
What should Sigurd
do, boys and girls?
811
00:34:15,754 --> 00:34:18,023
A, he could plead ignorant,
812
00:34:18,023 --> 00:34:20,058
call the paper a prank.
813
00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:21,327
Something a classmate made up,
814
00:34:21,327 --> 00:34:24,163
or freaky ex-girlfriend.
815
00:34:24,163 --> 00:34:27,733
Or B, he could hand
deliver the one person
816
00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:29,635
that would corroborate
the whole thing with,
817
00:34:29,635 --> 00:34:31,737
you know, hard evidence.
818
00:34:31,737 --> 00:34:33,071
That's a thinker, alright.
819
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,407
But you know what?
- If you're so smart,
820
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:36,708
why'd you show up?
821
00:34:39,378 --> 00:34:40,212
- Admit it.
822
00:34:41,380 --> 00:34:44,250
You ever try to lift an
entire degree before?
823
00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:45,384
- Her version.
824
00:34:47,286 --> 00:34:49,588
- I understand if we want
to hear your version,
825
00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:51,523
all we have to do is press play.
826
00:34:52,891 --> 00:34:54,226
I have to ask.
- I can't wait to hear this.
827
00:34:54,226 --> 00:34:56,128
- What the hell
were you thinking?
828
00:34:56,128 --> 00:34:57,396
You've seen Serpico.
829
00:34:57,396 --> 00:34:58,997
You know how this turns out.
- Oh my God.
830
00:34:58,997 --> 00:35:00,732
Is that what you were doing?
831
00:35:00,732 --> 00:35:02,468
What, did someone promise
you the Dean's list
832
00:35:02,468 --> 00:35:03,802
to take down the paper store?
833
00:35:03,802 --> 00:35:05,771
- Your vanity is ridiculous.
834
00:35:05,771 --> 00:35:06,738
- Then why?
835
00:35:10,309 --> 00:35:11,443
- It was for my thesis.
836
00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:14,380
- You're so full of shit.
837
00:35:14,380 --> 00:35:16,582
- Look, it's
difficult to help you
838
00:35:16,582 --> 00:35:17,416
if you're gonna be like--
- Fuck him.
839
00:35:19,385 --> 00:35:20,586
Nail him to the wall.
840
00:35:21,687 --> 00:35:22,788
Leave my name out of it,
841
00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:23,889
and I will hand over--
- I'm afraid
842
00:35:23,889 --> 00:35:25,157
I can't promise that.
843
00:35:25,157 --> 00:35:26,725
- Why not?
844
00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:29,127
- What kind of pull do you
think I have around here?
845
00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:30,529
Huh?
846
00:35:30,529 --> 00:35:31,697
I'm not even tenured.
847
00:35:32,731 --> 00:35:33,565
- Well fuck it.
848
00:35:36,001 --> 00:35:38,404
Bet you wish you had eight
copies now, huh, wanker?
849
00:35:38,404 --> 00:35:40,672
- Alright, you're free
to go, Mr. Rossdale.
850
00:35:40,672 --> 00:35:43,675
Without evidence,
your ass is un-busted.
851
00:35:43,675 --> 00:35:45,877
Miss Monaghan, somebody
will be in touch.
852
00:35:47,346 --> 00:35:48,880
- No problem.
853
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,982
I got more pen names than
you've had tables for one.
854
00:35:52,651 --> 00:35:55,787
- And the University
has a semester's worth
855
00:35:55,787 --> 00:35:58,424
of your work that it can
pour into its software.
856
00:35:59,725 --> 00:36:02,361
One customer with a zero,
857
00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:06,031
and your brand equity
is zilch on this campus.
858
00:36:06,031 --> 00:36:07,866
- What I do, I can
do from anywhere.
859
00:36:09,134 --> 00:36:10,336
Once I'm gone, I'm gonna
email this to someone
860
00:36:10,336 --> 00:36:11,770
who gives a shit.
861
00:36:11,770 --> 00:36:12,571
- And then what?
862
00:36:13,872 --> 00:36:14,940
What, you move to a town
863
00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:17,042
where nobody knows your name?
864
00:36:17,042 --> 00:36:19,445
In a business that
you can't advertise?
865
00:36:20,612 --> 00:36:22,748
What are you gonna rebuild?
866
00:36:22,748 --> 00:36:26,151
I can see you
found a marketplace
867
00:36:26,151 --> 00:36:28,220
for your considerable skill set.
868
00:36:29,255 --> 00:36:31,790
All these lazy students.
- Oh come on.
869
00:36:31,790 --> 00:36:34,059
- Just addicted.
- Really?
870
00:36:34,059 --> 00:36:35,594
- To instant reward.
871
00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:40,932
Now maybe his academic
record should be invalidated,
872
00:36:40,932 --> 00:36:43,001
but if I send this upstairs,
873
00:36:43,001 --> 00:36:44,570
you go along with it,
874
00:36:44,570 --> 00:36:48,173
and you will never be
allowed on this campus again.
875
00:36:48,173 --> 00:36:49,241
And not just here.
876
00:36:50,476 --> 00:36:52,378
Any request for your transcripts
877
00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:54,780
will turn up this story
like a scarlet letter.
878
00:36:56,348 --> 00:36:58,850
Now if this becomes
a formal inquiry,
879
00:36:58,850 --> 00:37:01,086
it's out of my hands.
880
00:37:01,086 --> 00:37:03,221
Any help that I can give you
881
00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,991
begins and ends in this office.
882
00:37:08,394 --> 00:37:09,861
I don't want to see you end up
883
00:37:09,861 --> 00:37:12,163
behind a counter of a,
what was it, Jamba Juice?
884
00:37:35,687 --> 00:37:37,523
- So what's he get,
community service?
885
00:37:39,190 --> 00:37:40,392
Sigurd, for you,
886
00:37:40,392 --> 00:37:42,328
I think we just
turn back the clock.
887
00:37:42,328 --> 00:37:45,063
You get incompletes until
the work can be redone.
888
00:37:45,063 --> 00:37:46,298
And that's redone by you.
889
00:37:47,165 --> 00:37:48,367
In case that part was unclear.
890
00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:49,968
We take
three classes,
891
00:37:49,968 --> 00:37:51,002
plus my course load for Spring.
892
00:37:51,002 --> 00:37:51,937
Shit, while we're at it,
893
00:37:51,937 --> 00:37:53,639
why don't we add a dance minor?
894
00:37:53,639 --> 00:37:54,573
A second chance,
895
00:37:54,573 --> 00:37:55,807
that doesn't appeal to you?
896
00:37:55,807 --> 00:37:56,842
No it's not
that, it's my schedule.
897
00:37:56,842 --> 00:37:58,510
There is no room.
898
00:37:58,510 --> 00:37:59,745
Make some.
899
00:37:59,745 --> 00:38:01,246
No see,
if I don't stay
900
00:38:01,246 --> 00:38:03,281
on the two year track then
none of this matters anyway.
901
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:04,483
As they say
902
00:38:04,483 --> 00:38:05,417
in the knock knock
joke, boo-hoo.
903
00:38:05,417 --> 00:38:07,619
I'll submit make-ups.
904
00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:08,454
Well then you'll always
905
00:38:08,454 --> 00:38:09,688
count as pass-fail,
906
00:38:09,688 --> 00:38:11,657
which does some damage
to your four point.
907
00:38:11,657 --> 00:38:12,924
Fine, God damn it.
908
00:38:12,924 --> 00:38:16,362
I will retake Alt. Cin
to keep me cum laude.
909
00:38:16,362 --> 00:38:17,596
Done.
910
00:38:17,596 --> 00:38:19,130
But there will be new
films this semester,
911
00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:22,033
so don't think you can
just grab her old notes.
912
00:38:23,369 --> 00:38:25,103
And her,
what does she get?
913
00:38:25,103 --> 00:38:27,138
- Happy Monday to you all.
914
00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:29,107
Welcome to Alternative Cinema.
915
00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:32,077
For those of you who
don't know who I am,
916
00:38:32,077 --> 00:38:33,178
shame on you.
917
00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:35,180
My name is Professor Marty Kane.
918
00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:37,916
Please enter that into your
auto-complete settings.
919
00:38:37,916 --> 00:38:39,551
Let me introduce Miss Monaghan.
920
00:38:39,551 --> 00:38:41,219
Our new TA.
921
00:38:41,219 --> 00:38:43,355
Please consider her a resource.
922
00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:46,425
She is available
for free individual
923
00:38:46,425 --> 00:38:49,461
and group tutoring
throughout the semester.
924
00:38:49,461 --> 00:38:52,798
You can sign up for a
session after the class.
925
00:38:52,798 --> 00:38:55,534
Now, Alternative Cinema.
926
00:38:57,202 --> 00:38:59,304
Begs the question,
alternative to what?
927
00:39:00,572 --> 00:39:02,441
Does the phrase assume a norm
928
00:39:02,441 --> 00:39:04,309
that cannot be assumed.
929
00:39:04,309 --> 00:39:07,579
Are we presupposed
to what is proper
930
00:39:07,579 --> 00:39:09,715
versus what is deviant?
931
00:39:09,715 --> 00:39:12,518
What is clean versus
what is dirty?
932
00:39:12,518 --> 00:39:13,752
Or more importantly,
933
00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:15,921
are you, the audience,
934
00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:19,958
Miss Monaghan.
935
00:39:21,226 --> 00:39:22,628
Miss Monaghan, are we ready?
936
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:28,199
Come here, come here.
937
00:39:28,199 --> 00:39:29,234
I got it, I got it.
938
00:39:42,481 --> 00:39:45,417
We instinctively trust
the voice in our ears,
939
00:39:45,417 --> 00:39:47,919
even if we know that
voice is fallible.
940
00:39:49,187 --> 00:39:51,389
This is the way that cinema
941
00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:55,060
can rob us of our compass,
moral or otherwise.
942
00:39:55,060 --> 00:39:57,529
Now can anybody
give me an example?
943
00:39:57,529 --> 00:39:59,297
Miss Monaghan, how about you?
944
00:40:00,699 --> 00:40:02,100
- Yeah.
945
00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:03,034
Sure.
946
00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:05,504
The cabinet of Dr. Kalagari
947
00:40:05,504 --> 00:40:08,306
is considered the
grandfather of the form.
948
00:40:08,306 --> 00:40:11,443
One of the first examples
of frame story in film,
949
00:40:14,212 --> 00:40:16,915
we believe that our
narrator is the hero,
950
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:19,651
as he uncovers
Kalagari's secrets,
951
00:40:19,651 --> 00:40:21,953
only to learn that
his story is fiction,
952
00:40:21,953 --> 00:40:23,555
and that he is insane.
953
00:40:24,790 --> 00:40:26,592
- Excellent, yes.
954
00:40:26,592 --> 00:40:27,425
Excellent.
955
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:28,259
Bullshit.
956
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:30,729
- I'm sorry?
957
00:40:30,729 --> 00:40:32,631
- Her example is bullshit.
958
00:40:33,965 --> 00:40:35,166
Being nuts didn't affect
959
00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:36,868
the narrator's ability
to tell his story.
960
00:40:36,868 --> 00:40:39,137
It was a yarn for
the other inmates.
961
00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:40,338
So what if it's not true?
962
00:40:40,338 --> 00:40:41,640
Neither is "Three Little Pigs."
963
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,174
- But he thinks it's true.
964
00:40:43,174 --> 00:40:44,576
Which makes us think it's true.
965
00:40:44,576 --> 00:40:48,780
That's the definition of
an unreliable narrator.
966
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:50,448
- Oh.
967
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:51,382
I'm sorry.
968
00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:52,350
No, I get it now.
969
00:40:52,350 --> 00:40:53,819
So he's a liar.
970
00:40:55,053 --> 00:40:56,287
But since he's the
only one talking,
971
00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:57,656
everyone has to take
him at his word.
972
00:40:57,656 --> 00:40:59,257
Okay, yeah, cool.
973
00:41:00,759 --> 00:41:01,960
- These are excellent,
974
00:41:03,495 --> 00:41:06,297
excellent points, both of them.
975
00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:08,366
Very good, I think
it's time to move on.
976
00:41:08,366 --> 00:41:09,400
Anybody else?
977
00:41:10,502 --> 00:41:11,469
Yes, Mr. Hooper.
978
00:41:12,437 --> 00:41:14,606
- You mean, like "Fight Club?"
979
00:41:16,441 --> 00:41:18,544
- Only in the most
derivative sense.
980
00:41:18,544 --> 00:41:20,679
Kalagari has proven seminal.
981
00:41:20,679 --> 00:41:23,481
Hitchcock famously drew
on Varner's masterpiece.
982
00:41:24,349 --> 00:41:26,918
Media Studies 516.
983
00:41:26,918 --> 00:41:28,654
Professor Marty Kane.
984
00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:30,488
Make-up assignment number one.
985
00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:33,391
Topic, confirmation bias,
986
00:41:33,391 --> 00:41:35,861
or why Freddie Nuendeich
got what he deserved.
987
00:41:37,763 --> 00:41:39,130
You don't need anyone to go
988
00:41:39,130 --> 00:41:41,700
all Spanish prisoner
on you to be duped.
989
00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:43,334
Whether it's Dean
Keaton's guilt,
990
00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,036
or Mr. Orange's innocence.
991
00:41:45,036 --> 00:41:47,939
People only look for the
things they want to find.
992
00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:51,476
Maybe that's why
it's so easy for you
993
00:41:51,476 --> 00:41:52,811
to believe that a feminist paper
994
00:41:52,811 --> 00:41:54,279
couldn't possibly be mine.
995
00:41:54,279 --> 00:41:57,182
So, setting the record straight,
996
00:41:57,182 --> 00:42:00,085
I was never against
female sports reporters.
997
00:42:00,085 --> 00:42:01,787
It takes guts to
grill a safe seed
998
00:42:01,787 --> 00:42:03,822
about his botched coverage.
999
00:42:03,822 --> 00:42:05,824
Even more guts to
do it in heels.
1000
00:42:05,824 --> 00:42:08,627
But there's a reason
for the gender gap
1001
00:42:08,627 --> 00:42:09,995
in the sports
broadcasting booth,
1002
00:42:09,995 --> 00:42:13,398
and it's not chauvinism,
it's experience.
1003
00:42:13,398 --> 00:42:14,633
There are men behind a desk
1004
00:42:14,633 --> 00:42:16,167
who can barely put
a sentence together,
1005
00:42:16,167 --> 00:42:19,470
but we value their opinions
because they've been there.
1006
00:42:21,172 --> 00:42:24,142
They've been elbowed by
Kobe, beaten by Pedro,
1007
00:42:24,142 --> 00:42:26,211
sat on by Helotsian Gotta.
1008
00:42:26,211 --> 00:42:27,779
But no matter how much game tape
1009
00:42:27,779 --> 00:42:29,615
Susie Colber breaks down,
1010
00:42:29,615 --> 00:42:31,182
the biggest NFL hit
she's ever taken
1011
00:42:31,182 --> 00:42:32,884
was Joe Namath's whiskey breath.
1012
00:42:34,085 --> 00:42:37,055
So, until the WNBA spits
out a few more retirees,
1013
00:42:37,055 --> 00:42:39,891
or until we from the
Rockford Peaches,
1014
00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,192
those gals are on the sidelines
1015
00:42:41,192 --> 00:42:43,328
because that's where
their experience lies.
1016
00:42:44,763 --> 00:42:47,465
Certainly
long days journey into night,
1017
00:42:47,465 --> 00:42:50,268
then Williams came on board.
- Reynaldo, put it away.
1018
00:42:51,703 --> 00:42:53,972
- Making an impact not
only on New York theater,
1019
00:42:53,972 --> 00:42:56,775
but then transitioning
to celluloid with--
1020
00:42:56,775 --> 00:42:58,009
All I'm saying is,
1021
00:42:58,009 --> 00:42:59,277
you can't know what
the game is like
1022
00:42:59,277 --> 00:43:00,378
until you've played it.
1023
00:43:03,514 --> 00:43:06,384
- And then we consider
women under the influence.
1024
00:43:06,384 --> 00:43:07,886
- There was a vibe there.
- It has nothing to do
1025
00:43:07,886 --> 00:43:09,587
with knives, it has
nothing to do with murder.
1026
00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:10,856
- Whatever, whatever,
whatever, whatever.
1027
00:43:10,856 --> 00:43:12,090
- It has to do with
how he identifies.
1028
00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:13,324
- I watched that
movie like twice.
1029
00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:14,559
I still don't know
what's going on.
1030
00:43:14,559 --> 00:43:15,961
Is there a body or not?
- Dude, do you know
1031
00:43:15,961 --> 00:43:17,395
that's not the point, right?
- Of course it's the
1032
00:43:17,395 --> 00:43:18,563
freaking point, Annalee.
1033
00:43:18,563 --> 00:43:19,698
The dude is blowing
up the picture
1034
00:43:19,698 --> 00:43:20,966
over and over and over.
- Yeah, the name
1035
00:43:20,966 --> 00:43:22,901
of the movie is Blowup, okay?
- Guys, stop!
1036
00:43:22,901 --> 00:43:25,536
- Wow, you're a smart
one, aren't you?
1037
00:43:25,536 --> 00:43:27,973
- Why are you convinced
this is so hard?
1038
00:43:27,973 --> 00:43:29,708
It is not differential calculus.
1039
00:43:29,708 --> 00:43:33,211
You just need to be alive
and occasionally awake.
1040
00:43:33,211 --> 00:43:34,312
Hooper.
- I was tired.
1041
00:43:34,312 --> 00:43:35,513
- I was awake.
1042
00:43:35,513 --> 00:43:36,982
- It still don't
make no damn sense.
1043
00:43:36,982 --> 00:43:38,216
I just want to drive that home.
1044
00:43:38,216 --> 00:43:39,017
- You know what,
there is literally
1045
00:43:39,017 --> 00:43:39,985
no wrong answer here.
1046
00:43:39,985 --> 00:43:41,720
How did it make you feel?
1047
00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:42,921
- Fucking pissed.
1048
00:43:42,921 --> 00:43:44,155
- Great, why?
1049
00:43:44,155 --> 00:43:45,590
- 'Cause Kane's gonna
give him another D.
1050
00:43:45,590 --> 00:43:47,959
- You came, both races.
1051
00:43:47,959 --> 00:43:49,828
- Antonio need a provocateur.
1052
00:43:49,828 --> 00:43:51,529
If you felt like
pissed at the end,
1053
00:43:51,529 --> 00:43:53,865
there's a chance you
understood it exactly.
1054
00:43:55,734 --> 00:43:56,601
- I really didn't.
1055
00:43:58,269 --> 00:44:00,672
- Oh, Anna, come on.
- What did I say?
1056
00:44:00,672 --> 00:44:02,240
- This is your job,
last time I checked.
1057
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:05,010
- You know I didn't gather
you together, right?
1058
00:44:05,010 --> 00:44:08,680
You signed up for
this, you volunteered.
1059
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,081
I have my own homework.
1060
00:44:10,081 --> 00:44:12,951
Risk aversion psychology
in End Person Games
1061
00:44:12,951 --> 00:44:15,553
for Dr. Uva due tomorrow.
1062
00:44:15,553 --> 00:44:16,654
And if you don't
know what that means,
1063
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:17,588
just know it's gonna take
1064
00:44:17,588 --> 00:44:19,190
a little more than 90 minutes
1065
00:44:19,190 --> 00:44:21,092
and some popcorn to prep.
1066
00:44:21,092 --> 00:44:22,794
But you all just want
some spoon fed answer
1067
00:44:22,794 --> 00:44:24,062
you can plug into your papers.
1068
00:44:24,062 --> 00:44:25,831
- Yeah, unless you want
to write it for us, too.
1069
00:44:25,831 --> 00:44:27,265
Now that would be sweet.
1070
00:44:27,265 --> 00:44:29,000
- For real, yo.
- He showed our class.
1071
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,135
He said that was totally fine.
- How much you think
1072
00:44:30,135 --> 00:44:31,369
something like that cost?
1073
00:44:31,369 --> 00:44:32,603
- If you listen to
nothing else I say,
1074
00:44:32,603 --> 00:44:34,305
just listen to this,
for your own good.
1075
00:44:35,473 --> 00:44:37,175
You can never ever
trust the people
1076
00:44:37,175 --> 00:44:38,910
that deal in that world.
1077
00:44:38,910 --> 00:44:40,011
You will get caught.
1078
00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,089
Ogden minus six.
1079
00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:54,692
Archiati minus 12.
1080
00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:56,527
- I weep for their
squandered tuition.
1081
00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:57,729
- A parents tuition and don't.
1082
00:44:57,729 --> 00:44:58,563
It's their fault
she's like that.
1083
00:44:58,563 --> 00:44:59,765
- How is that fair?
1084
00:44:59,765 --> 00:45:02,033
- That kind of
dumb is cultivated
1085
00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:03,668
like a rare and
beautiful orchid.
1086
00:45:03,668 --> 00:45:06,304
Gina Richard minus seven.
- These are not the results
1087
00:45:06,304 --> 00:45:08,840
I hoped for when you started
teaching my students.
1088
00:45:10,876 --> 00:45:12,643
- Sub-par sows ear.
1089
00:45:12,643 --> 00:45:14,746
I mean, no one should have told
1090
00:45:14,746 --> 00:45:16,815
Mitchell Hooper
to go to college.
1091
00:45:16,815 --> 00:45:18,683
- Einstein said,
1092
00:45:18,683 --> 00:45:19,951
"Everybody's a genius,
1093
00:45:19,951 --> 00:45:21,452
"but if you judge a fish
1094
00:45:21,452 --> 00:45:23,588
"by his ability
to climb a tree."
1095
00:45:23,588 --> 00:45:24,655
- Yeah, it's on your wall.
1096
00:45:24,655 --> 00:45:25,891
Mitchell Hooper is a fine fish,
1097
00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:28,726
but you know, academia
is not his tree.
1098
00:45:29,928 --> 00:45:31,897
Smart enough to write
'em but not read 'em.
1099
00:45:31,897 --> 00:45:33,398
- Don't bother.
1100
00:45:33,398 --> 00:45:34,399
It's just a 516.
1101
00:45:34,399 --> 00:45:35,400
- I know what it is.
1102
00:45:36,434 --> 00:45:37,268
I can take it.
1103
00:45:45,510 --> 00:45:46,912
Lance Armstrong, Milli Vanilli,
1104
00:45:46,912 --> 00:45:48,814
and the little shit
who cried wolf.
1105
00:45:51,082 --> 00:45:52,050
B minus.
1106
00:45:53,751 --> 00:45:55,854
That's a lot of
red for a B minus.
1107
00:45:55,854 --> 00:45:57,655
- Sigurd's problem,
1108
00:45:57,655 --> 00:46:00,558
other than eternally
searching for shortcuts,
1109
00:46:01,559 --> 00:46:02,961
is his authenticity.
1110
00:46:02,961 --> 00:46:04,863
Kid needs to find his own voice.
1111
00:46:04,863 --> 00:46:06,898
- I think the voice
is pretty clear.
1112
00:46:06,898 --> 00:46:08,466
He's writing about me.
1113
00:46:09,500 --> 00:46:11,569
This is just like the others.
1114
00:46:11,569 --> 00:46:14,605
It's not a paper,
it's a vendetta.
1115
00:46:20,345 --> 00:46:22,848
- He's searching
through the wilderness,
1116
00:46:22,848 --> 00:46:24,282
groping for the truth.
1117
00:46:25,650 --> 00:46:27,052
It will get personal.
1118
00:46:28,053 --> 00:46:29,687
It will get worse.
1119
00:46:29,687 --> 00:46:31,256
- Relevancy of the re-release.
1120
00:46:31,256 --> 00:46:32,657
Why bother?
1121
00:46:32,657 --> 00:46:34,325
80 inch home streams 4K,
1122
00:46:34,325 --> 00:46:36,094
on demand streaming,
why leave the house
1123
00:46:36,094 --> 00:46:38,696
if "Eraserhead" is
back in theaters?
1124
00:46:38,696 --> 00:46:40,265
Oh.
1125
00:46:40,265 --> 00:46:41,732
Here we go.
1126
00:46:41,732 --> 00:46:46,004
What Annalee, hereinafter
referred to as Minion.
1127
00:46:46,004 --> 00:46:47,238
- Never understood as the reason
1128
00:46:47,238 --> 00:46:48,439
we'd line up to
buy another ticket
1129
00:46:48,439 --> 00:46:51,776
to see Frodo and
Sam, Luke and Leia,
1130
00:46:51,776 --> 00:46:54,312
or even Jack and Rose,
1131
00:46:54,312 --> 00:46:55,746
is not the new tech.
1132
00:47:00,018 --> 00:47:00,952
It's not even the story.
1133
00:47:00,952 --> 00:47:02,587
It's the ritual of its telling.
1134
00:47:02,587 --> 00:47:04,389
We revisit the past because
1135
00:47:04,389 --> 00:47:07,158
we want to be the
people we were then.
1136
00:47:09,394 --> 00:47:10,661
When we first saw it.
1137
00:47:12,497 --> 00:47:17,502
Before we know how
the story ends.
1138
00:47:25,476 --> 00:47:27,078
- No.
1139
00:47:27,078 --> 00:47:28,479
No, you're uncomfortable.
1140
00:47:30,115 --> 00:47:32,783
Surely you've seen the
uncut version before.
1141
00:47:32,783 --> 00:47:34,252
No such thing
as an uncut version.
1142
00:47:34,252 --> 00:47:36,154
All movies are
edited, hence cut.
1143
00:47:36,154 --> 00:47:38,423
- Well someday you
might lighten up a bit.
1144
00:47:38,423 --> 00:47:40,691
- And yes I had seen
the NC-17 version.
1145
00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:41,960
We watched it for your seminar.
1146
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:43,361
Different on the big screen.
1147
00:47:46,564 --> 00:47:47,798
- James Spader was masterful.
1148
00:47:47,798 --> 00:47:51,102
- A puppet who
fucked a leg wound.
1149
00:47:51,102 --> 00:47:52,037
- I have to tell you,
1150
00:47:52,037 --> 00:47:53,571
I'm very surprised by this.
1151
00:47:53,571 --> 00:47:55,340
- You shouldn't be.
1152
00:47:57,408 --> 00:47:59,577
- You wrote a very
elegant paper on "Crash."
1153
00:47:59,577 --> 00:48:00,811
- I'm sure I did.
1154
00:48:00,811 --> 00:48:03,614
It was probably also the
third paper that week.
1155
00:48:03,614 --> 00:48:05,616
- Your position,
as I remember it.
1156
00:48:05,616 --> 00:48:08,286
- I never had a
position on "Crash."
1157
00:48:08,286 --> 00:48:10,255
- You said that the employment
1158
00:48:10,255 --> 00:48:12,290
of the sexual--
- Sexually grotesque.
1159
00:48:12,290 --> 00:48:13,524
- It's a powerful metaphor.
1160
00:48:13,524 --> 00:48:14,725
- Not a metaphor.
1161
00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:16,594
Literalization of the
sickness in "Saw."
1162
00:48:17,762 --> 00:48:19,864
- You said that the
heart of the film
1163
00:48:19,864 --> 00:48:22,067
was not the so-called
perversions,
1164
00:48:22,067 --> 00:48:24,302
but the willing community
of the perverse.
1165
00:48:24,302 --> 00:48:25,503
And that these characters
1166
00:48:25,503 --> 00:48:28,606
built a relationship
around this common bond.
1167
00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:31,609
- The car crashes make
them wet in the pants.
1168
00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:33,811
- Sharing this perversion,
1169
00:48:33,811 --> 00:48:36,714
it makes them feel less alone.
1170
00:48:36,714 --> 00:48:39,150
- Yeah, that's how
NAMBLA works, too.
1171
00:48:41,586 --> 00:48:44,089
- I thought that you'd
have a more open mind.
1172
00:48:44,089 --> 00:48:46,958
Come on, let's get
some coffee, okay, pie.
1173
00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:49,727
- Sorry, I gotta go
shower the Spader off me.
1174
00:48:52,197 --> 00:48:54,365
- If you're going
to write a paper,
1175
00:48:54,365 --> 00:48:56,434
why wouldn't you
own up to it after?
1176
00:48:57,835 --> 00:48:59,804
- What did you want
out of tonight, Marty?
1177
00:48:59,804 --> 00:49:00,738
- What are you implying?
1178
00:49:00,738 --> 00:49:01,806
- Why'd you drag me here?
1179
00:49:03,241 --> 00:49:05,410
As you would say, what did
you hope to accomplish?
1180
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:10,248
- Not everybody who's interested
1181
00:49:10,248 --> 00:49:12,950
in developing your
mind wants to fuck you.
1182
00:49:18,723 --> 00:49:19,557
- I'm sorry.
1183
00:49:24,395 --> 00:49:26,597
- If you must know,
tonight was a celebration.
1184
00:49:26,597 --> 00:49:28,366
I was notified by
the tenure committee,
1185
00:49:28,366 --> 00:49:30,235
I'm up for review, finally.
1186
00:49:30,235 --> 00:49:32,437
- Wait, that's great, right?
1187
00:49:32,437 --> 00:49:33,504
- I was gonna tell
you over coffee,
1188
00:49:33,504 --> 00:49:35,906
but you ruined that.
1189
00:49:38,576 --> 00:49:39,610
- When's the hearing?
1190
00:49:40,845 --> 00:49:42,013
- The end of classes.
1191
00:49:43,881 --> 00:49:46,417
But it's been a
long time coming.
1192
00:49:46,417 --> 00:49:48,686
You know, it's not being
an associate, you know,
1193
00:49:48,686 --> 00:49:50,521
not only is it a
wholly inaccurate term,
1194
00:49:50,521 --> 00:49:54,192
but demeaning to a man my age.
1195
00:49:54,192 --> 00:49:55,260
An adjunct.
1196
00:49:57,628 --> 00:50:00,798
It's been seven years
without health insurance.
1197
00:50:00,798 --> 00:50:01,599
- I'm familiar.
1198
00:50:03,768 --> 00:50:05,970
So wait, if you get this,
1199
00:50:05,970 --> 00:50:08,206
that means you can't be fired.
1200
00:50:08,206 --> 00:50:09,707
- Not without cause.
1201
00:50:09,707 --> 00:50:11,876
But before, they could just
fire me for no reason at all.
1202
00:50:13,078 --> 00:50:16,381
- So what does one get a
newly-tenured professor?
1203
00:50:17,615 --> 00:50:19,016
Cuff links?
1204
00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:19,850
Fancy pen?
1205
00:50:21,086 --> 00:50:22,220
- You know what I would love.
1206
00:50:22,220 --> 00:50:23,488
I'd love for you to stop taking
1207
00:50:23,488 --> 00:50:26,191
these opportunities
that I'm handing you,
1208
00:50:26,191 --> 00:50:28,426
and treating them like
I'm grounding you.
1209
00:50:29,627 --> 00:50:31,129
I've got to dive head first
1210
00:50:31,129 --> 00:50:32,697
into preparing for this review.
1211
00:50:34,265 --> 00:50:36,234
I need your full commitment.
1212
00:50:36,234 --> 00:50:37,435
- What else do you want?
1213
00:50:38,936 --> 00:50:40,071
You'll
take over my office hours,
1214
00:50:40,071 --> 00:50:41,239
tomorrow for starters.
1215
00:50:43,841 --> 00:50:45,076
- Yeah, sure.
1216
00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:48,846
- Good.
1217
00:50:48,846 --> 00:50:50,615
And I enjoy a good Scotch.
1218
00:50:56,587 --> 00:50:58,556
- Oh, sorry.
1219
00:50:58,556 --> 00:51:00,091
We thought--
1220
00:51:00,091 --> 00:51:02,627
Oh, I'm doing
his office hours today.
1221
00:51:02,627 --> 00:51:04,795
- Oh, that's totally chill.
1222
00:51:04,795 --> 00:51:06,497
I'd rather talk to you.
1223
00:51:08,166 --> 00:51:10,568
- Well, we--
1224
00:51:10,568 --> 00:51:13,138
- Wanted to ask
about our grades.
1225
00:51:13,138 --> 00:51:15,873
- I should probably talk
to you separately for that.
1226
00:51:15,873 --> 00:51:17,342
- We wanted to ask if there
1227
00:51:17,342 --> 00:51:19,610
was any extra credit we
could do or something.
1228
00:51:19,610 --> 00:51:21,212
We can ask that?
1229
00:51:21,212 --> 00:51:24,014
- Extra credit isn't really
Professor Kane's thing.
1230
00:51:24,014 --> 00:51:25,350
An extra paper?
1231
00:51:25,350 --> 00:51:26,917
I mean, he likes papers, right?
1232
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,657
- Emily, if I remember right,
1233
00:51:32,657 --> 00:51:36,093
you're solidly in the B
range without even trying.
1234
00:51:37,027 --> 00:51:38,229
- I'm trying.
1235
00:51:38,229 --> 00:51:39,530
Who said I'm not trying?
1236
00:51:39,530 --> 00:51:40,931
I just meant that--
1237
00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:41,832
- Em wants a four point.
1238
00:51:41,832 --> 00:51:42,833
- I do.
1239
00:51:42,833 --> 00:51:44,369
My sister just got engaged,
1240
00:51:44,369 --> 00:51:46,471
and I'm down a bullet point
in the family newsletter.
1241
00:51:46,471 --> 00:51:48,173
- Well an A is totally in reach,
1242
00:51:48,173 --> 00:51:49,707
if you just like--
- What about your
1243
00:51:49,707 --> 00:51:51,442
discussion groups, we've
been to like all of those.
1244
00:51:53,010 --> 00:51:55,480
- Those aren't for
credit, they're for you.
1245
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,183
- Right, but I mean.
- It's like extra school.
1246
00:51:58,183 --> 00:51:59,150
- Yeah.
1247
00:51:59,150 --> 00:52:00,685
- Well it's all extra, isn't it?
1248
00:52:00,685 --> 00:52:03,288
If you take a walk off
campus and into the woods,
1249
00:52:03,288 --> 00:52:05,022
no truant officer is
gonna come find you.
1250
00:52:05,022 --> 00:52:06,257
- I guess.
1251
00:52:06,257 --> 00:52:07,858
- You gotta stop using
your credit hours
1252
00:52:07,858 --> 00:52:09,860
and your grade point
as a yard stick.
1253
00:52:09,860 --> 00:52:11,829
And you've shown a
ton of improvement
1254
00:52:11,829 --> 00:52:13,364
in such a short space of time.
1255
00:52:13,364 --> 00:52:14,632
- Am I passing?
1256
00:52:15,766 --> 00:52:17,535
- Okay give me a sec,
I'll bring it up.
1257
00:52:19,837 --> 00:52:21,506
- I don't think Kane likes me.
1258
00:52:21,506 --> 00:52:23,441
- Well I like you, Hooper.
1259
00:52:24,609 --> 00:52:25,543
So let's see.
1260
00:52:25,543 --> 00:52:29,079
You are passing is what you are.
1261
00:52:29,079 --> 00:52:30,815
- See, I told you.
- I'm passing?
1262
00:52:30,815 --> 00:52:34,719
I'm fucking passing.
- I told you.
1263
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:36,187
You're
almost at a C.
1264
00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:39,123
- I just want to do
better, you know?
1265
00:52:39,123 --> 00:52:42,327
I feel bad my parents
had to like mortgage
1266
00:52:42,327 --> 00:52:43,361
all their shit for this.
1267
00:52:43,361 --> 00:52:46,331
I just, fuck.
1268
00:52:46,331 --> 00:52:47,265
I thought I was gonna have to
1269
00:52:47,265 --> 00:52:48,699
start studying for my CDL,
1270
00:52:48,699 --> 00:52:50,100
saving up for a rig.
1271
00:52:51,336 --> 00:52:53,271
- Can I ask you a
personal question?
1272
00:52:53,271 --> 00:52:54,605
Yeah, of course.
1273
00:52:56,441 --> 00:52:58,576
- If you'd been failing, like,
1274
00:52:58,576 --> 00:53:00,545
flat out totally failing,
1275
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:03,581
would your parents
be sad that you quit,
1276
00:53:03,581 --> 00:53:07,852
or would they be happy to
stop writing you checks?
1277
00:53:07,852 --> 00:53:09,119
- My dad would fucking disown me
1278
00:53:09,119 --> 00:53:10,488
if he saw me on a truck.
1279
00:53:10,488 --> 00:53:12,223
Why,
what does he do?
1280
00:53:12,223 --> 00:53:13,791
- He drives a truck, obviously.
1281
00:53:17,262 --> 00:53:18,929
- Well.
1282
00:53:18,929 --> 00:53:20,097
You know, there's plenty of time
1283
00:53:20,097 --> 00:53:22,833
to raise your grades
before finals.
1284
00:53:22,833 --> 00:53:24,935
- Oh yeah, alright.
- Definitely, thanks.
1285
00:53:24,935 --> 00:53:28,539
Yeah.
1286
00:53:28,539 --> 00:53:29,774
Come on.
1287
00:53:29,774 --> 00:53:33,311
I'm so glad
it was her and not Kane.
1288
00:53:56,934 --> 00:53:58,168
Alright, how many of you
1289
00:53:58,168 --> 00:53:59,437
watched all the before
and after parents?
1290
00:53:59,437 --> 00:54:00,638
Media Studies 516.
1291
00:54:00,638 --> 00:54:03,140
Professor Marty Kane.
1292
00:54:03,140 --> 00:54:05,075
Make-up assignment number seven.
1293
00:54:05,075 --> 00:54:08,513
Topic, Steve Jobs,
modern Caesar.
1294
00:54:09,947 --> 00:54:10,981
Which
alternatives crossed over
1295
00:54:10,981 --> 00:54:12,450
to the studio system,
1296
00:54:12,450 --> 00:54:14,352
maintained an
alternative aesthetic,
1297
00:54:14,352 --> 00:54:16,220
and who sold out?
1298
00:54:16,220 --> 00:54:17,054
By a show of hands.
1299
00:54:17,054 --> 00:54:19,123
- Emmanuel Conte said,
1300
00:54:19,123 --> 00:54:20,525
"Immaturity is the inability
1301
00:54:20,525 --> 00:54:21,992
"to use your own intelligence
1302
00:54:21,992 --> 00:54:24,595
"unless you get
outside approval."
1303
00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:27,298
In short, if you can't
think for yourself
1304
00:54:27,298 --> 00:54:28,366
then you're a child.
1305
00:54:31,469 --> 00:54:32,603
Miss Monaghan used to tell me
1306
00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:34,305
frequently how immature I am.
1307
00:54:35,540 --> 00:54:37,708
But Miss Monaghan, or
Annalee as she was known
1308
00:54:37,708 --> 00:54:39,009
in her former life,
1309
00:54:40,244 --> 00:54:42,212
was also prone to
grandstanding against
1310
00:54:42,212 --> 00:54:44,281
a permanent display
of corporate branding
1311
00:54:44,281 --> 00:54:47,084
on her person, being
used as a billboard.
1312
00:54:47,084 --> 00:54:48,486
Her words.
1313
00:54:48,486 --> 00:54:50,488
Even used to cut the
labels out of her clothing.
1314
00:54:51,822 --> 00:54:52,657
But now,
1315
00:54:54,058 --> 00:54:56,260
now she has officially
joined Media Studies.
1316
00:54:57,562 --> 00:55:00,431
I can tell because she
sports the uniform.
1317
00:55:00,431 --> 00:55:01,399
See, no one would be caught
1318
00:55:01,399 --> 00:55:03,368
dead in here without a MacBook.
1319
00:55:03,368 --> 00:55:05,870
The brand creative thinkers use.
1320
00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:10,775
Why do we accept as gospel
1321
00:55:12,343 --> 00:55:15,045
that the computer age's
most notorious autocrat
1322
00:55:15,045 --> 00:55:16,614
is the symbol of free thought?
1323
00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:21,719
Because here, our doctrine,
1324
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:23,320
is the consumers
control brand identity
1325
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:24,855
by signaling their allegiance.
1326
00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:28,526
So Miss Monaghan as
a creative thinker
1327
00:55:28,526 --> 00:55:31,328
doesn't really have a
choice now, does she?
1328
00:55:34,264 --> 00:55:35,332
So what changed?
1329
00:55:38,002 --> 00:55:38,836
What changed?
1330
00:55:40,638 --> 00:55:42,072
Not a God damn thing.
1331
00:55:43,207 --> 00:55:45,175
No one tricked
her into homogeny.
1332
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:50,981
Tadpoles only turn into frogs.
1333
00:55:50,981 --> 00:55:52,483
Maggots only turn into flies.
1334
00:55:53,651 --> 00:55:55,586
Once he found out he
was an almighty swan,
1335
00:55:56,521 --> 00:55:57,722
oh that fucking dumb thing
1336
00:55:57,722 --> 00:56:00,224
forgot all about the
family who took him in.
1337
00:56:00,224 --> 00:56:01,559
At the end of the day,
1338
00:56:01,559 --> 00:56:02,693
at the end of the day,
1339
00:56:04,228 --> 00:56:06,230
we only change into
who we already were.
1340
00:56:07,732 --> 00:56:09,767
How
many people here think
1341
00:56:09,767 --> 00:56:11,669
that Scorsese has held onto
1342
00:56:11,669 --> 00:56:14,739
that gritty mean
streets feeling?
1343
00:56:18,909 --> 00:56:20,310
- Where are they, Shit Heel?
1344
00:56:21,178 --> 00:56:22,480
Where are they?
1345
00:56:23,781 --> 00:56:27,284
- Where, what in the fuck?
1346
00:56:27,284 --> 00:56:28,252
What are you talking about?
1347
00:56:28,252 --> 00:56:29,487
Hey, put that down.
1348
00:56:29,487 --> 00:56:31,622
- Don't make me ask
you a third time.
1349
00:56:31,622 --> 00:56:33,023
What are
you talking about?
1350
00:56:33,023 --> 00:56:34,459
- My papers.
- Your papers.
1351
00:56:34,459 --> 00:56:36,461
- My intellectual property.
1352
00:56:36,461 --> 00:56:37,862
- I paid you fair
and square for those.
1353
00:56:37,862 --> 00:56:38,896
That makes them work for hire.
1354
00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:40,364
- False pretenses, Shit Heel.
1355
00:56:41,832 --> 00:56:43,333
- Why do you want them?
1356
00:56:43,333 --> 00:56:44,769
- Maybe I'll publish.
1357
00:56:44,769 --> 00:56:47,071
- You have copies on
your hard drive for that.
1358
00:56:47,071 --> 00:56:48,873
- This isn't complex.
1359
00:56:48,873 --> 00:56:51,709
I don't want anything
of mine with you.
1360
00:56:51,709 --> 00:56:54,278
- Then why aren't you
asking me for the tapes?
1361
00:56:54,278 --> 00:56:55,212
- 'Cause fuck those tapes.
1362
00:56:55,212 --> 00:56:56,447
- That's good, that's good.
1363
00:56:56,447 --> 00:56:58,382
I wouldn't give
'em to you anyway.
1364
00:56:58,382 --> 00:56:59,316
- What am I supposed to think
1365
00:56:59,316 --> 00:57:00,250
when you say shit like that?
1366
00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:01,652
- The worst, think the worst.
1367
00:57:01,652 --> 00:57:03,153
- Well you don't
leave me much choice.
1368
00:57:03,153 --> 00:57:04,054
Fine.
1369
00:57:04,054 --> 00:57:05,623
Damn it.
1370
00:57:05,623 --> 00:57:08,358
I never wanted any of this shit.
1371
00:57:08,358 --> 00:57:10,160
But that August, I got a
letter from my advisor.
1372
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:11,529
What the fuck?
1373
00:57:11,529 --> 00:57:13,230
Mr. Rossdale,
if you insist up
1374
00:57:13,230 --> 00:57:15,500
on using profanities
and raising your voice.
1375
00:57:15,500 --> 00:57:16,934
- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
1376
00:57:16,934 --> 00:57:18,168
If you'd
like to see the handbook.
1377
00:57:18,168 --> 00:57:19,203
- I would not like
to see the handbook.
1378
00:57:19,203 --> 00:57:20,771
- Then I'm sure you are aware
1379
00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:22,206
that students are not eligible
1380
00:57:22,206 --> 00:57:23,107
to submit a thesis--
- I don't need
1381
00:57:23,107 --> 00:57:23,941
to see the manual.
1382
00:57:23,941 --> 00:57:24,909
I took the fucking,
1383
00:57:24,909 --> 00:57:26,143
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
1384
00:57:26,143 --> 00:57:28,579
I took the class, I
took those three hours
1385
00:57:28,579 --> 00:57:29,514
you say I'm--
- Three and a half.
1386
00:57:29,514 --> 00:57:30,781
- Yeah you're right, I'm sorry.
1387
00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:32,850
That extra half credit
is a real gate keeper.
1388
00:57:32,850 --> 00:57:34,885
It's not
an arbitrary figure.
1389
00:57:34,885 --> 00:57:36,286
- Oh, it's the definition
of an arbitrary figure.
1390
00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:38,889
- Just because one is
not privy to a logic,
1391
00:57:38,889 --> 00:57:40,891
doesn't mean there is none.
1392
00:57:40,891 --> 00:57:42,893
- I took the class.
1393
00:57:42,893 --> 00:57:44,361
It's four credit hours.
1394
00:57:44,361 --> 00:57:45,730
Even here in communications.
1395
00:57:45,730 --> 00:57:48,032
Four is more than 3.5.
1396
00:57:48,032 --> 00:57:51,068
- You didn't take the class
here in communications.
1397
00:57:51,068 --> 00:57:53,370
You took the class at the
college of information studies.
1398
00:57:53,370 --> 00:57:55,506
- It's the same fucking class.
1399
00:57:55,506 --> 00:57:57,508
It's the same professor
in the same building.
1400
00:57:57,508 --> 00:58:00,010
It might even be the
same fucking room.
1401
00:58:00,010 --> 00:58:01,145
No, no, no.
1402
00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:02,379
I deserve an answer to that.
1403
00:58:02,379 --> 00:58:03,881
I deserve an answer
that makes sense.
1404
00:58:03,881 --> 00:58:06,851
I deserve to know why you
are keeping me trapped here
1405
00:58:06,851 --> 00:58:08,553
for an entire extra year
1406
00:58:08,553 --> 00:58:12,289
when I learned the things
I was supposed to learn.
1407
00:58:12,289 --> 00:58:14,358
Here I am, I'm ready
for the big work.
1408
00:58:14,358 --> 00:58:16,393
I'm a boat tied to the dock.
1409
00:58:16,393 --> 00:58:18,095
I'm in for 3.5 credits.
1410
00:58:18,095 --> 00:58:19,630
I'm being tethered to shore.
1411
00:58:19,630 --> 00:58:23,367
Just fucking bobbing in the wake
1412
00:58:23,367 --> 00:58:24,802
with the jet skis and you know,
1413
00:58:24,802 --> 00:58:26,971
I got the growing
up the side of me,
1414
00:58:26,971 --> 00:58:28,372
it's the scales on the bottom.
1415
00:58:28,372 --> 00:58:29,607
They're white, they're hard,
1416
00:58:29,607 --> 00:58:30,541
they're fucking crusty.
- Barnacles.
1417
00:58:30,541 --> 00:58:31,475
- Yes, thank you, barnacles.
1418
00:58:31,475 --> 00:58:32,509
I could not think of the word.
1419
00:58:35,780 --> 00:58:37,181
- Okay.
1420
00:58:37,181 --> 00:58:38,583
You're a kayak.
1421
00:58:39,817 --> 00:58:41,652
Are we meant to just let you
1422
00:58:41,652 --> 00:58:45,255
float along the rapids without
first learning how to paddle?
1423
00:58:45,255 --> 00:58:46,691
- I got my bachelor's here.
1424
00:58:46,691 --> 00:58:47,524
That's four years.
1425
00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:48,693
Six figures in the hole.
1426
00:58:48,693 --> 00:58:50,094
If I wasn't learning
how to paddle,
1427
00:58:50,094 --> 00:58:53,230
please, what the fuck?
- A Bachelors isn't a Masters.
1428
00:58:53,230 --> 00:58:55,532
That's why they have
different names.
1429
00:58:55,532 --> 00:58:57,101
And as a matter of fact,
1430
00:58:57,101 --> 00:58:59,336
you were enrolled in
the correct course
1431
00:58:59,336 --> 00:59:02,573
until you deliberately
decided to switch out.
1432
00:59:02,573 --> 00:59:04,842
So I am not sure
what you expect me
1433
00:59:04,842 --> 00:59:07,077
or the University to do.
- It conflicted with work.
1434
00:59:07,077 --> 00:59:08,212
It conflicted with my job.
1435
00:59:08,212 --> 00:59:10,648
I work, for money.
1436
00:59:10,648 --> 00:59:11,982
- In your field?
1437
00:59:11,982 --> 00:59:14,018
Because perhaps I could--
- No, no, no.
1438
00:59:14,018 --> 00:59:15,252
I was a cater waiter.
1439
00:59:15,252 --> 00:59:17,622
There's nothing
paid in my field.
1440
00:59:17,622 --> 00:59:20,157
Not without a Masters.
1441
00:59:20,157 --> 00:59:23,794
- And you felt an
internship was beneath you.
1442
00:59:24,929 --> 00:59:26,163
- No.
1443
00:59:26,163 --> 00:59:27,965
It was not beneath me,
it was beneath my rent.
1444
00:59:27,965 --> 00:59:29,566
- Have you considered entering
1445
00:59:29,566 --> 00:59:31,736
the grad school housing lottery?
1446
00:59:31,736 --> 00:59:33,804
- If I win the
lottery, is it free?
1447
00:59:34,839 --> 00:59:36,106
- Housing fees can be rolled
1448
00:59:36,106 --> 00:59:38,108
into your financial aid package.
1449
00:59:38,108 --> 00:59:40,177
- So more debt?
1450
00:59:40,177 --> 00:59:42,012
- I'm not sure if
you're aware of this,
1451
00:59:42,012 --> 00:59:44,248
and if not, it may ease
some of your concerns,
1452
00:59:44,248 --> 00:59:47,351
but as long as you are
enrolled in college,
1453
00:59:47,351 --> 00:59:50,387
you don't have to start
repaying those loans.
1454
00:59:50,387 --> 00:59:51,321
As a matter of fact,
1455
00:59:51,321 --> 00:59:53,590
I think a three year course--
1456
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:56,293
- I will jump off a bridge.
1457
00:59:56,293 --> 00:59:58,863
And the bank can scrape my
brains up as collateral.
1458
01:00:00,865 --> 01:00:01,699
Okay.
1459
01:00:03,734 --> 01:00:08,739
What if I were to take an
extra class this semester?
1460
01:00:09,740 --> 01:00:11,375
Can I start my thesis then?
1461
01:00:12,242 --> 01:00:13,410
- Just out of curiosity,
1462
01:00:13,410 --> 01:00:15,780
what is your thesis proposal?
1463
01:00:15,780 --> 01:00:16,714
- I have no idea.
1464
01:00:22,019 --> 01:00:24,922
It's not going to
be easy given your schedule.
1465
01:00:25,756 --> 01:00:26,724
- Is that, are you?
1466
01:00:27,591 --> 01:00:28,959
Oh thank you.
1467
01:00:28,959 --> 01:00:29,894
Thank you.
1468
01:00:29,894 --> 01:00:31,829
Thank you, I swear to God,
1469
01:00:31,829 --> 01:00:33,197
if I become a mogul one day,
1470
01:00:33,197 --> 01:00:35,199
I will name a library after you.
1471
01:00:40,604 --> 01:00:41,571
Hey, what is that?
1472
01:00:41,571 --> 01:00:42,639
Isn't Alt. Cin a 200-level?
1473
01:00:42,639 --> 01:00:44,008
- Have you taken it before?
1474
01:00:44,008 --> 01:00:45,676
- No.
- Then it doesn't matter,
1475
01:00:45,676 --> 01:00:47,978
as long as you stay
within the department.
1476
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:51,749
- I feel like a
faster kayak already.
1477
01:00:51,749 --> 01:00:55,119
- And Professor Kane's
Cronenberg seminar.
1478
01:00:56,620 --> 01:00:58,989
- It's gotta be what
it's gotta be, I guess.
1479
01:01:00,224 --> 01:01:02,259
Yeah, yeah every Saturday.
1480
01:01:02,259 --> 01:01:05,062
That was the only
time I was available.
1481
01:01:05,062 --> 01:01:06,997
No, no Kevin, that's
not what I'm saying.
1482
01:01:06,997 --> 01:01:09,133
No, no listen, listen.
1483
01:01:09,133 --> 01:01:11,335
I can still do shifts,
1484
01:01:11,335 --> 01:01:12,369
I just can't--
1485
01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:15,139
No.
1486
01:01:15,139 --> 01:01:16,841
No, no no no no.
1487
01:01:16,841 --> 01:01:19,076
God damn it.
- Are you going out tonight?
1488
01:01:19,076 --> 01:01:21,045
- They fucking
carded me last time.
1489
01:01:21,045 --> 01:01:21,879
- That's gay.
1490
01:01:21,879 --> 01:01:22,713
- Good morning.
1491
01:01:23,881 --> 01:01:26,116
If you are supposed to
be in Alternative Cinema
1492
01:01:26,116 --> 01:01:28,218
with Professor Marty Kane.
- No of course not.
1493
01:01:28,218 --> 01:01:29,486
You
are in the right class.
1494
01:01:29,486 --> 01:01:30,755
- Why should you be
anything different?
1495
01:01:30,755 --> 01:01:32,022
Complete fucking cock.
- Please enter my name
1496
01:01:32,022 --> 01:01:32,957
in the auto-complete
settings, thank you.
1497
01:01:32,957 --> 01:01:34,191
Now for those of you who think
1498
01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:35,125
that you're gonna
come into class,
1499
01:01:35,125 --> 01:01:36,360
watch a movie, eat some popcorn,
1500
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,428
maybe make out with
the girl next to you,
1501
01:01:39,629 --> 01:01:41,631
you have chosen poorly.
1502
01:01:41,631 --> 01:01:43,834
In addition to the syllabus,
1503
01:01:43,834 --> 01:01:47,004
there will be some
outside viewing.
1504
01:01:47,004 --> 01:01:48,472
- "Fat Girl."
1505
01:01:48,472 --> 01:01:49,039
- It's about your mom.
- As well.
1506
01:01:51,008 --> 01:01:53,110
- "400 Blows" is about your mom.
1507
01:01:54,078 --> 01:01:55,880
- There's grading requirements.
1508
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,848
These are to be hard copy,
1509
01:01:57,848 --> 01:02:00,951
hand delivered, no
emails, no exceptions.
1510
01:02:02,386 --> 01:02:04,822
This paper should focus
on homoeroticism from 1980
1511
01:02:06,290 --> 01:02:07,124
until the present.
1512
01:02:07,124 --> 01:02:08,658
It's due Tuesday.
1513
01:02:08,658 --> 01:02:13,663
Have a good weekend.
1514
01:02:19,904 --> 01:02:21,972
- No, this isn't mine.
1515
01:02:21,972 --> 01:02:22,807
- Whose is it?
1516
01:02:22,807 --> 01:02:23,640
Joe?
1517
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:24,474
- Oh I'm Joe.
1518
01:02:26,710 --> 01:02:28,112
- Sup?
1519
01:02:28,112 --> 01:02:28,913
Thanks.
1520
01:02:29,914 --> 01:02:32,549
- Dude, B minus though.
1521
01:02:32,549 --> 01:02:34,551
What we paid, shit
should have been an A.
1522
01:02:34,551 --> 01:02:35,986
- That's not how it works, dude.
1523
01:02:35,986 --> 01:02:37,154
She told us.
1524
01:02:37,154 --> 01:02:39,289
- Dude, don't be
asking me to remember.
1525
01:02:39,289 --> 01:02:40,524
- Hey fags.
1526
01:02:40,524 --> 01:02:41,525
Hang back a second.
1527
01:02:41,525 --> 01:02:43,027
- What's up?
1528
01:02:43,027 --> 01:02:44,628
- You got any weed?
1529
01:03:05,950 --> 01:03:06,951
Hey guys.
1530
01:03:06,951 --> 01:03:08,152
You gotta go.
1531
01:03:08,152 --> 01:03:09,686
Your girl's here.
1532
01:03:09,686 --> 01:03:10,988
Come on.
1533
01:03:10,988 --> 01:03:11,922
Come on.
1534
01:03:11,922 --> 01:03:12,890
Let's go.
1535
01:03:12,890 --> 01:03:14,258
Hey, hey.
1536
01:03:14,258 --> 01:03:16,693
Yo, get up, get up.
1537
01:03:16,693 --> 01:03:17,794
- Dude, relax, chill.
1538
01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:19,096
- What are you, Frosted Flakes?
1539
01:03:19,096 --> 01:03:21,165
- Unclench the sphincter.
1540
01:03:21,165 --> 01:03:23,067
- Guys guys guys,
please get out, please.
1541
01:03:23,067 --> 01:03:24,301
Fuck dude, chill.
1542
01:03:24,301 --> 01:03:25,235
- Guys, you're gone.
1543
01:03:25,235 --> 01:03:26,503
- Yeah man, unclench the ass.
1544
01:03:26,503 --> 01:03:27,437
- What the fuck did
you just say to me?
1545
01:03:27,437 --> 01:03:29,373
- Oh my God, whoa man, relax.
1546
01:03:29,373 --> 01:03:32,176
- You too big guy, let's go.
- Fuck dude, relax.
1547
01:03:32,176 --> 01:03:33,610
- Unclench the ass.
1548
01:03:42,352 --> 01:03:43,453
- Paper's due Tuesday.
1549
01:03:44,855 --> 01:03:45,689
- Yeah.
1550
01:03:48,492 --> 01:03:51,395
- Monday, student
cafe, no open mark.
1551
01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:00,905
Have fun with your thesis.
1552
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:05,042
- Hi, Josette.
1553
01:04:05,042 --> 01:04:06,043
Hi, it's Sigurd Rossdale.
1554
01:04:06,043 --> 01:04:07,611
I was in your office just,
1555
01:04:07,611 --> 01:04:08,812
you know who I am.
1556
01:04:08,812 --> 01:04:10,714
I have schedule
problems, swear a lot.
1557
01:04:10,714 --> 01:04:13,450
The kayak, the kayak,
I'm the kayak, yeah.
1558
01:04:13,450 --> 01:04:15,385
This is the
loan in Kurt Rossholder.
1559
01:04:15,385 --> 01:04:16,486
Partners in crime.
1560
01:04:17,521 --> 01:04:19,723
Prevention tango catch.
1561
01:04:19,723 --> 01:04:23,627
- I wanted to talk to you
about my thesis proposal.
1562
01:04:24,728 --> 01:04:26,363
You know what?
1563
01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:27,898
Nevermind, thank you.
1564
01:04:30,667 --> 01:04:33,837
October fourth, a breakthrough.
1565
01:04:33,837 --> 01:04:35,505
A revelation.
1566
01:04:35,505 --> 01:04:37,641
My path has become clear.
1567
01:04:37,641 --> 01:04:39,609
My vision, swept clean.
1568
01:04:39,609 --> 01:04:42,446
The subject of my thesis
was to be some bullshit.
1569
01:04:42,446 --> 01:04:43,647
Leading candidate,
1570
01:04:43,647 --> 01:04:45,149
something about
cable news Chairans
1571
01:04:45,149 --> 01:04:48,085
and their impact to
tell on, I don't know.
1572
01:04:48,085 --> 01:04:52,056
But by God, it was going
to be some clever bullshit.
1573
01:04:52,056 --> 01:04:53,924
Something that
manufactures deep meaning
1574
01:04:53,924 --> 01:04:55,993
from superficial symbols.
1575
01:04:55,993 --> 01:04:57,928
Something so, oh Jesus,
1576
01:04:57,928 --> 01:04:59,096
something so fucking meta
1577
01:04:59,096 --> 01:05:01,098
that next years freshmen
will do a study,
1578
01:05:03,067 --> 01:05:04,301
of my study.
1579
01:05:04,301 --> 01:05:05,402
In other words,
1580
01:05:07,137 --> 01:05:08,338
convoluted and self-referential,
1581
01:05:08,338 --> 01:05:09,473
just the way the
department likes it.
1582
01:05:09,473 --> 01:05:10,307
But then,
1583
01:05:11,741 --> 01:05:12,576
I met her.
1584
01:05:13,577 --> 01:05:15,279
And scrapped all that
1585
01:05:15,279 --> 01:05:17,847
for something that
might get me expelled.
1586
01:05:17,847 --> 01:05:20,084
We academics look down our nose.
1587
01:05:20,084 --> 01:05:22,052
We call her a doer,
not a thinker.
1588
01:05:22,052 --> 01:05:24,121
A lowly contractor in a
room full of architects.
1589
01:05:24,121 --> 01:05:25,990
Her worth is less in our eyes,
1590
01:05:25,990 --> 01:05:27,191
and statistically
in the workplace,
1591
01:05:27,191 --> 01:05:28,492
because she comes in
and doers by sheep skin.
1592
01:05:28,492 --> 01:05:29,826
No matter how
versatile her mind,
1593
01:05:29,826 --> 01:05:32,062
we cite the superiority
of theoretical
1594
01:05:32,062 --> 01:05:33,263
knowledge over applied.
1595
01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:35,465
Without Newton, there
would be no NASA.
1596
01:05:35,465 --> 01:05:37,501
No, no, fucking gene therapy
1597
01:05:37,501 --> 01:05:38,435
without Watson and Cricketts.
1598
01:05:38,435 --> 01:05:39,703
How we reassure ourselves
1599
01:05:39,703 --> 01:05:40,637
we didn't just pitch our tuition
1600
01:05:40,637 --> 01:05:42,006
down a fucking rabbit hole.
1601
01:05:42,006 --> 01:05:45,709
So my thesis will
be an experiment.
1602
01:05:46,743 --> 01:05:49,179
Proof or disproof of hypothesis.
1603
01:05:51,648 --> 01:05:53,217
The only thing studied
by Media Studies
1604
01:05:53,217 --> 01:05:55,852
is the color of the
emperor's new clothes.
1605
01:05:55,852 --> 01:05:57,121
I will send out my course work
1606
01:05:57,121 --> 01:05:59,056
the way some students
send out their laundry.
1607
01:05:59,056 --> 01:06:01,191
Every assignment ginned up
1608
01:06:01,191 --> 01:06:04,261
by someone who unequivocally
disbelieves every word.
1609
01:06:04,261 --> 01:06:05,729
At the end of this,
1610
01:06:05,729 --> 01:06:07,297
all it takes for a diploma
1611
01:06:07,297 --> 01:06:09,799
is to show up and pay up.
1612
01:06:11,768 --> 01:06:15,005
Then she is not the only
paper store around here.
1613
01:06:19,776 --> 01:06:22,179
- Thought telling me this
would make things better.
1614
01:06:23,847 --> 01:06:25,982
- Why did you tell him?
1615
01:06:25,982 --> 01:06:27,684
- Because you
already lied to me.
1616
01:06:27,684 --> 01:06:29,386
- No, no about us.
1617
01:06:29,386 --> 01:06:30,487
Why did you tell him?
1618
01:06:32,556 --> 01:06:34,224
- 'Cause it was
part of the story.
1619
01:06:40,630 --> 01:06:43,033
I don't care what I turn into,
1620
01:06:43,033 --> 01:06:45,069
just as long as
there's no statue.
1621
01:06:45,069 --> 01:06:47,771
I'm
gonna get cremated.
1622
01:06:47,771 --> 01:06:49,239
Yeah well leave
me with that stupid urn
1623
01:06:49,239 --> 01:06:52,509
that looks like some
bowling trophy thing.
1624
01:06:53,710 --> 01:06:55,312
And have
someone scatter you.
1625
01:06:55,312 --> 01:06:56,246
- Only if they want to.
1626
01:06:56,246 --> 01:06:57,214
I don't remember saying that.
1627
01:06:57,214 --> 01:06:58,415
When did I say that?
1628
01:06:58,415 --> 01:06:59,583
The Canyon, like--
1629
01:07:00,850 --> 01:07:03,353
- I don't have them.
1630
01:07:03,353 --> 01:07:04,188
What?
1631
01:07:04,188 --> 01:07:05,021
- Your papers.
1632
01:07:05,021 --> 01:07:06,623
I don't have the papers.
1633
01:07:06,623 --> 01:07:07,457
- Bullshit.
1634
01:07:08,792 --> 01:07:11,128
- No, the day Marty
called, I threw 'em out.
1635
01:07:11,128 --> 01:07:12,796
I put 'em in a sack,
1636
01:07:12,796 --> 01:07:15,432
and drowned them in the
river like feral cats.
1637
01:07:15,432 --> 01:07:16,466
- Appalachian trail.
1638
01:07:16,466 --> 01:07:17,467
Now your poor kids--
1639
01:07:18,335 --> 01:07:19,236
I feel sick.
1640
01:07:19,236 --> 01:07:20,170
You should.
1641
01:07:20,170 --> 01:07:21,438
Those cats deserve better.
1642
01:07:21,438 --> 01:07:23,640
- You never even read
them, you lousy fuck.
1643
01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:24,774
I read them.
1644
01:07:26,143 --> 01:07:29,079
- Where be the bitches
in this here film?
1645
01:07:56,072 --> 01:07:57,707
- Get out a blank
piece of paper.
1646
01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:01,077
We're gonna have
a quiz on Goddard.
1647
01:08:04,848 --> 01:08:06,383
- Ogden, minus three.
1648
01:08:06,383 --> 01:08:07,717
Archieti minus five.
1649
01:08:07,717 --> 01:08:09,786
I mean, minus nine.
1650
01:08:09,786 --> 01:08:11,155
Dowd, minus five.
1651
01:08:11,155 --> 01:08:13,857
- Three, nine, and minus five.
1652
01:08:13,857 --> 01:08:14,791
- Minus five, yeah.
1653
01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:17,627
- Next.
1654
01:08:17,627 --> 01:08:18,962
- Rossdale, absent.
1655
01:08:18,962 --> 01:08:20,264
Hooper, minus five.
1656
01:08:20,264 --> 01:08:22,566
- How irritating.
- What?
1657
01:08:22,566 --> 01:08:23,767
- When they miss
their quiz days.
1658
01:08:23,767 --> 01:08:26,136
They know what it
does for their grade.
1659
01:08:26,136 --> 01:08:27,070
Alright, you know what,
1660
01:08:27,070 --> 01:08:29,373
I'll double grade 'em Friday,
1661
01:08:29,373 --> 01:08:30,207
and I'll just,
1662
01:08:31,641 --> 01:08:34,110
I'll ask for a one page
abstract on any topic.
1663
01:08:34,110 --> 01:08:35,179
- What are you doing?
1664
01:08:36,180 --> 01:08:37,214
Sigurd got a zero.
1665
01:08:38,081 --> 01:08:39,349
- Yes?
1666
01:08:39,349 --> 01:08:42,085
- So he gets a zero,
that's how it works.
1667
01:08:42,085 --> 01:08:43,320
You don't do extra credit.
1668
01:08:43,320 --> 01:08:46,490
That's what you said.
- Of course, of course.
1669
01:08:47,857 --> 01:08:51,027
You think it was an isolated
incident, his absence?
1670
01:08:53,597 --> 01:08:54,498
- I wouldn't know.
1671
01:08:57,401 --> 01:08:59,703
If he wants to fuck off all
day, that's his business.
1672
01:08:59,703 --> 01:09:01,471
- Not when my tenure
review is nigh.
1673
01:09:01,471 --> 01:09:02,406
I got seven failing kids,
1674
01:09:02,406 --> 01:09:04,341
that's a quarter of the class.
1675
01:09:04,341 --> 01:09:05,609
Very inauspicious group.
1676
01:09:05,609 --> 01:09:06,943
- Well if you let
him off the hook,
1677
01:09:06,943 --> 01:09:08,545
it's not fair to the
kids that showed up.
1678
01:09:08,545 --> 01:09:09,979
- Pardon me if I
add a grain of salt
1679
01:09:09,979 --> 01:09:11,848
to your ethics advice.
1680
01:09:11,848 --> 01:09:14,851
- What did Sigurd do with the
last two chances you gave him?
1681
01:09:18,622 --> 01:09:19,456
- Does that hurt?
1682
01:09:22,926 --> 01:09:24,127
- It's fine.
1683
01:09:26,263 --> 01:09:29,866
The tenure committee,
they want to see success.
1684
01:09:29,866 --> 01:09:30,967
Is that the deal?
1685
01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:33,570
So what about the
other seven kids?
1686
01:09:35,171 --> 01:09:36,740
And you didn't pull
all those strings
1687
01:09:36,740 --> 01:09:39,876
to have me take roll
and pass out quizzes.
1688
01:09:43,547 --> 01:09:44,848
Good afternoon, all.
1689
01:09:46,182 --> 01:09:47,884
Professor Kane got
stuck in a meeting,
1690
01:09:47,884 --> 01:09:50,119
so I'll be teaching class today.
1691
01:09:53,757 --> 01:09:57,494
So, today we'll be
looking at "Grindhouse."
1692
01:09:57,494 --> 01:10:01,498
A term you probably know
because of Tarantino.
1693
01:10:03,132 --> 01:10:06,035
After all, he was a fanboy
before he was a thief.
1694
01:10:11,140 --> 01:10:16,145
First, let's discuss
1943's "Lady of Burlesque"
1695
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:17,881
which coined the term
1696
01:10:19,249 --> 01:10:22,218
named for the bump and
grind houses of 42nd Street.
1697
01:10:28,091 --> 01:10:29,559
Let's back up a step.
1698
01:10:29,559 --> 01:10:31,227
What's "Grindhouse?"
1699
01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:32,061
Amanda.
1700
01:10:33,129 --> 01:10:34,097
- I don't know.
1701
01:10:34,097 --> 01:10:36,266
We haven't covered that yet.
1702
01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:38,167
- Bishop, what's "Grindhouse?"
1703
01:10:39,869 --> 01:10:40,837
- Mandy's right, we haven't--
1704
01:10:40,837 --> 01:10:42,806
- Emily, what's "Grindhouse?"
1705
01:10:42,806 --> 01:10:43,773
- Hey that's not fair.
1706
01:10:43,773 --> 01:10:44,908
She's in your study group.
1707
01:10:44,908 --> 01:10:46,476
- Look, you can't give us a quiz
1708
01:10:46,476 --> 01:10:47,877
on something we
haven't learned yet.
1709
01:10:47,877 --> 01:10:50,847
Yeah.
1710
01:10:50,847 --> 01:10:52,181
- Guys.
1711
01:10:52,181 --> 01:10:53,450
This isn't a quiz.
1712
01:10:53,450 --> 01:10:54,684
This is just to
get you thinking.
1713
01:10:54,684 --> 01:10:55,919
So, don't wait for me.
1714
01:10:55,919 --> 01:10:57,220
Just call it out.
1715
01:10:57,220 --> 01:10:59,188
How do you know it's
a grind house flick?
1716
01:10:59,188 --> 01:11:00,290
- Violence.
1717
01:11:00,290 --> 01:11:01,224
- Violence.
1718
01:11:01,224 --> 01:11:02,726
- Violence and casual sex.
1719
01:11:02,726 --> 01:11:05,962
- Casual sex.
1720
01:11:05,962 --> 01:11:07,263
What else?
1721
01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:08,998
- It's always all
grainy looking.
1722
01:11:08,998 --> 01:11:11,034
- Low budget production.
1723
01:11:11,034 --> 01:11:12,969
- Well that's something
that can be faked, right?
1724
01:11:12,969 --> 01:11:13,903
- Yes.
1725
01:11:13,903 --> 01:11:15,138
You can.
1726
01:11:15,138 --> 01:11:16,473
Why?
1727
01:11:16,473 --> 01:11:18,408
Why would someone try
and replicate that?
1728
01:11:18,408 --> 01:11:20,009
- 'Cause you don't want to
see a bunch of shiny shit.
1729
01:11:20,009 --> 01:11:21,511
You want to see real shit.
1730
01:11:21,511 --> 01:11:25,415
- Oh my God, you
people are so surfacey.
1731
01:11:25,415 --> 01:11:28,318
It's about like fucking
female vengeance.
1732
01:11:28,318 --> 01:11:31,688
Women kicking fucking ass.
1733
01:11:31,688 --> 01:11:33,056
- In the back.
1734
01:11:33,056 --> 01:11:34,824
- Someone drives
the grind house.
1735
01:11:34,824 --> 01:11:36,393
What else?
1736
01:11:36,393 --> 01:11:37,527
Rape and pillaging.
1737
01:11:37,527 --> 01:11:39,796
- Rape and pillaging.
1738
01:11:39,796 --> 01:11:41,431
Porn, porn.
1739
01:11:41,431 --> 01:11:43,533
So why is porn different?
1740
01:11:43,533 --> 01:11:44,534
- Consent?
1741
01:11:48,938 --> 01:11:50,840
- Absolutely make sure you write
1742
01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:52,676
this one down for Kane's final.
1743
01:11:52,676 --> 01:11:56,413
But this is only
the origin story.
1744
01:11:56,413 --> 01:11:59,148
How things began is
such a small part
1745
01:11:59,148 --> 01:12:00,116
of what they become.
1746
01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:45,529
See you in class.
1747
01:12:45,529 --> 01:12:48,598
Probably not.
1748
01:12:50,467 --> 01:12:51,835
- It's not even that generous.
1749
01:12:51,835 --> 01:12:54,504
It's like, look how
many people miss me.
1750
01:12:54,504 --> 01:12:57,541
And my stone palace.
- So stupid.
1751
01:12:59,342 --> 01:13:00,710
- In the end.
1752
01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:02,579
It is why we want credit.
1753
01:13:02,579 --> 01:13:03,880
For having been.
1754
01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:05,782
- Yeah, it's not
our best feature.
1755
01:13:05,782 --> 01:13:07,283
Why don't we leave
departed on a mountainside
1756
01:13:07,283 --> 01:13:08,918
for buzzards like
the good old days?
1757
01:13:08,918 --> 01:13:11,020
- Some cultures still do that.
1758
01:13:11,020 --> 01:13:14,624
You need a mountainside, kinda.
1759
01:13:14,624 --> 01:13:15,859
- Don't say never,
1760
01:13:15,859 --> 01:13:18,194
your people are far too
squeamish about bones.
1761
01:13:18,194 --> 01:13:20,664
- I like the notion of
nature taking it back.
1762
01:13:22,265 --> 01:13:23,700
Grass.
1763
01:13:23,700 --> 01:13:25,435
Coming up from the sidewalks.
1764
01:13:25,435 --> 01:13:28,572
Railroad ties dissolving
into the ground.
1765
01:13:28,572 --> 01:13:29,639
- Are you gonna
be a railroad tie?
1766
01:13:29,639 --> 01:13:30,740
- Yeah.
1767
01:13:30,740 --> 01:13:32,008
Beats being a mummy.
1768
01:13:32,008 --> 01:13:34,711
In a fucking forever
box like these guys.
1769
01:13:34,711 --> 01:13:36,613
- I don't care what I turn into.
1770
01:13:36,613 --> 01:13:38,615
Just as long as
there's no statue.
1771
01:13:38,615 --> 01:13:40,717
- Why don't you get cremated?
1772
01:13:41,851 --> 01:13:43,086
- No, then you have
that stupid urn
1773
01:13:43,086 --> 01:13:47,023
that looks like some
bowling trophy thing.
1774
01:13:47,023 --> 01:13:48,925
- Have someone
scatter you, then.
1775
01:13:48,925 --> 01:13:50,126
- Only if they want to.
1776
01:13:50,126 --> 01:13:51,761
If someone wants
to take a road trip
1777
01:13:51,761 --> 01:13:54,297
and dump me in the canyon like
Donny Karabotsels, go nuts.
1778
01:13:54,297 --> 01:13:57,200
But no fucking way am
I leaving instructions.
1779
01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:58,668
That's like worse
than a monument.
1780
01:13:58,668 --> 01:14:00,236
That's like saying from now on,
1781
01:14:00,236 --> 01:14:02,071
this canyon is fucking mine.
1782
01:14:02,071 --> 01:14:04,007
I mean, it's just bossy.
1783
01:14:04,007 --> 01:14:07,711
This fucking command
from beyond the grave.
1784
01:14:07,711 --> 01:14:10,113
Dump my ashes on the
Appalachian trail.
1785
01:14:10,113 --> 01:14:12,048
Now your poor kid's
gotta do all this hiking
1786
01:14:12,048 --> 01:14:14,350
to dump your ashes
in some deer turds
1787
01:14:14,350 --> 01:14:16,853
so you can be part of
the everlasting cycle.
1788
01:14:16,853 --> 01:14:19,188
Your kid can't go
walking in the woods now
1789
01:14:19,188 --> 01:14:21,057
without thinking
about fucking death.
1790
01:14:27,897 --> 01:14:29,298
- I'd scatter you somewhere.
1791
01:14:31,467 --> 01:14:32,301
- It's on you.
1792
01:14:34,070 --> 01:14:39,008
I'd scatter you everywhere.
1793
01:14:39,008 --> 01:14:39,909
Really.
1794
01:14:39,909 --> 01:14:41,244
Yeah.
1795
01:14:44,748 --> 01:14:46,783
- Hooper, talk to me
about "The Fly," go.
1796
01:14:48,051 --> 01:14:50,419
- Jeff Goldblum,
Geena Davis, 1986.
1797
01:14:50,419 --> 01:14:52,188
- This isn't trivia
night, themes.
1798
01:14:52,188 --> 01:14:53,523
- Themes, themes.
1799
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:55,424
I'm bad at these.
1800
01:14:55,424 --> 01:14:56,593
Emily help him out.
1801
01:14:56,593 --> 01:15:00,163
- Oh, the primary theme
is transformation.
1802
01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:02,498
Mainly because he turns into--
- A fly, it's a fly.
1803
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:04,400
- Good, Emily,
because transformation
1804
01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:05,769
is the scientists' goal, too.
1805
01:15:05,769 --> 01:15:07,003
- No, what?
1806
01:15:07,003 --> 01:15:08,705
- No, it's because he
wanted to teleport.
1807
01:15:08,705 --> 01:15:09,573
- Yeah, but--
1808
01:15:09,573 --> 01:15:10,807
- My notes say teleport.
1809
01:15:10,807 --> 01:15:12,776
- Yes, but what
is teleportation?
1810
01:15:12,776 --> 01:15:15,945
- You know, like, up,
there, over there.
1811
01:15:15,945 --> 01:15:17,781
Teleport.
1812
01:15:17,781 --> 01:15:19,015
- Can one of you
please just answer
1813
01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:20,083
without looking at your notes
1814
01:15:20,083 --> 01:15:21,785
to see what Kane
told you to say?
1815
01:15:21,785 --> 01:15:23,019
- I didn't look at my notes.
1816
01:15:23,019 --> 01:15:23,787
- That's 'cause you
didn't take any notes.
1817
01:15:25,388 --> 01:15:27,290
- She's getting on you.
1818
01:15:31,928 --> 01:15:33,496
- Yeah.
1819
01:15:33,496 --> 01:15:34,898
I mean, me too, it was okay.
1820
01:15:36,733 --> 01:15:37,967
- What if we just focus
1821
01:15:37,967 --> 01:15:39,002
on what's gonna
be on the midterm
1822
01:15:39,002 --> 01:15:40,236
instead of the papers?
1823
01:15:40,236 --> 01:15:41,304
I mean, isn't that
a bigger portion
1824
01:15:41,304 --> 01:15:42,572
of our grade, anyway?
1825
01:15:42,572 --> 01:15:43,740
- Yeah, I mean, if
I do good on that,
1826
01:15:43,740 --> 01:15:45,241
I'm gonna get a C, right?
1827
01:15:45,241 --> 01:15:46,509
Fucking tight.
1828
01:15:47,611 --> 01:15:48,945
- Why is that alright?
1829
01:15:48,945 --> 01:15:50,313
Why is that tight, Hoop?
1830
01:15:50,313 --> 01:15:51,581
Don't you want an A?
1831
01:15:51,581 --> 01:15:53,917
- If I got an A, someone
would think I cheated.
1832
01:15:53,917 --> 01:15:55,384
- What if I told
you that right now
1833
01:15:55,384 --> 01:15:57,053
you're probably sitting on an A?
1834
01:15:57,053 --> 01:15:57,987
No I'm not.
1835
01:15:57,987 --> 01:15:59,522
You said last week that I got--
1836
01:15:59,522 --> 01:16:02,058
- Beginning of term, you have
5,000 points available to you.
1837
01:16:02,058 --> 01:16:03,927
You can afford to
lose 500 of those
1838
01:16:03,927 --> 01:16:05,194
and still get an A.
1839
01:16:05,194 --> 01:16:06,963
I mean, Emily is right,
the grades are weighted,
1840
01:16:06,963 --> 01:16:08,798
so the final and midterm count
1841
01:16:08,798 --> 01:16:11,067
for more than all
the quizzes combined.
1842
01:16:11,067 --> 01:16:13,737
But right now all
of you have As.
1843
01:16:14,904 --> 01:16:18,675
- Wait, I mean, it's
the same, right?
1844
01:16:18,675 --> 01:16:20,543
Like, math-wise.
1845
01:16:20,543 --> 01:16:22,278
- Well it is, but we're
just looking at it
1846
01:16:22,278 --> 01:16:23,947
from a different direction.
1847
01:16:23,947 --> 01:16:25,514
Hooper, a few weeks ago,
1848
01:16:25,514 --> 01:16:28,284
the unreliable nerd,
or what did you say?
1849
01:16:28,284 --> 01:16:29,218
- "Fight Club."
1850
01:16:29,218 --> 01:16:31,120
- Right, what did Marty say?
1851
01:16:31,120 --> 01:16:31,955
- Derivative.
1852
01:16:31,955 --> 01:16:33,256
- You weren't wrong.
1853
01:16:33,256 --> 01:16:34,290
You should know that.
1854
01:16:35,424 --> 01:16:37,093
I mean, "Fight Club"
won't be on the midterm.
1855
01:16:37,093 --> 01:16:38,294
You should know that too.
1856
01:16:38,294 --> 01:16:40,463
But you weren't wrong.
1857
01:16:40,463 --> 01:16:41,665
Yeah,
it's like he was just
1858
01:16:41,665 --> 01:16:43,867
thinking about it from
another direction.
1859
01:16:45,601 --> 01:16:47,837
So is "The
Fly" gonna be on the midterm?
1860
01:16:47,837 --> 01:16:48,805
- Sure.
1861
01:16:48,805 --> 01:16:50,774
Alright then.
1862
01:16:50,774 --> 01:16:52,008
- What about...
- It's 'cause of
1863
01:16:52,008 --> 01:16:53,176
all the little bits.
1864
01:16:54,577 --> 01:16:57,380
Like, when he teleports,
1865
01:16:57,380 --> 01:17:00,183
all the little--
- Molecules.
1866
01:17:01,617 --> 01:17:04,654
- They gotta go back the
same way they were before.
1867
01:17:04,654 --> 01:17:07,156
But I mean, things
don't work like that.
1868
01:17:07,156 --> 01:17:10,259
Every time you move, you
change what's around you.
1869
01:17:10,259 --> 01:17:11,695
When what's around
you is different,
1870
01:17:11,695 --> 01:17:13,730
that makes you different.
1871
01:17:13,730 --> 01:17:15,965
Every molecule in him
would know what it's like
1872
01:17:15,965 --> 01:17:18,167
to be apart from the other ones.
1873
01:17:18,167 --> 01:17:19,869
Even if a fly
never got in there,
1874
01:17:19,869 --> 01:17:22,305
he was always looking to change.
1875
01:17:22,305 --> 01:17:24,373
It just didn't happen
the way he expects.
1876
01:17:25,574 --> 01:17:27,043
- Swear to me you
didn't write this.
1877
01:17:28,011 --> 01:17:28,845
- It's all him.
1878
01:17:30,513 --> 01:17:32,916
- I mean, he couldn't have
written this three weeks ago.
1879
01:17:32,916 --> 01:17:34,383
- He's been working his ass off.
1880
01:17:34,383 --> 01:17:36,519
- That you could squeeze
this from a stone.
1881
01:17:39,222 --> 01:17:40,423
- Aren't you gonna grade it?
1882
01:17:40,423 --> 01:17:42,125
- No, no, not now, later.
1883
01:17:42,125 --> 01:17:43,592
The committee, I swear to you,
1884
01:17:43,592 --> 01:17:46,963
they want every academic
journal I've ever appeared in.
1885
01:17:46,963 --> 01:17:47,931
- Is that a lot?
1886
01:17:47,931 --> 01:17:49,198
- No.
1887
01:17:49,198 --> 01:17:51,400
So I've got to get a
really nice binder.
1888
01:17:52,335 --> 01:17:53,169
Don't worry.
1889
01:17:54,037 --> 01:17:57,073
I am humbled and amazed.
1890
01:17:57,073 --> 01:17:58,174
Keep up the good work.
1891
01:18:37,313 --> 01:18:39,282
- Sigurd Rossdale,
Professor Marty Kane.
1892
01:18:39,282 --> 01:18:43,119
Media Studies 516, April 12th.
1893
01:18:43,119 --> 01:18:44,387
Final make-up assignment.
1894
01:18:44,387 --> 01:18:47,356
Topic, Alpha 60
versus Eric Harris.
1895
01:18:49,525 --> 01:18:50,760
Everyone has thought
1896
01:18:50,760 --> 01:18:51,694
about killing himself.
- Everyone has
1897
01:18:51,694 --> 01:18:52,929
thought about killing himself.
1898
01:18:52,929 --> 01:18:53,763
Everyone.
1899
01:18:54,964 --> 01:18:58,301
For the privilege of the
dead is to die no more.
1900
01:19:02,438 --> 01:19:04,640
The hard part's
getting the note right.
1901
01:19:04,640 --> 01:19:08,077
Something quiet and
stoic, dignified.
1902
01:19:09,946 --> 01:19:11,314
Football season is over.
1903
01:19:12,849 --> 01:19:14,350
Brooks was here.
1904
01:19:17,686 --> 01:19:21,557
Maybe it's better then
to go out big and loud,
1905
01:19:22,926 --> 01:19:24,427
like Private Pyle.
1906
01:19:24,427 --> 01:19:26,195
Your meeting crystal
fucking clear.
1907
01:19:26,195 --> 01:19:27,630
Make sure you storm out
1908
01:19:27,630 --> 01:19:29,465
just so no one thinks
you limped away.
1909
01:19:30,834 --> 01:19:32,068
And my thesis was definitely
1910
01:19:32,068 --> 01:19:33,269
intended as a kind
of suicide bomb.
1911
01:19:33,269 --> 01:19:35,504
I might not have
known it at the time,
1912
01:19:35,504 --> 01:19:36,739
or maybe I did.
1913
01:19:36,739 --> 01:19:38,875
I mean, Jesus, and least
snake oil moisturizes,
1914
01:19:38,875 --> 01:19:40,810
but what are you people selling?
1915
01:19:40,810 --> 01:19:42,778
What system just lets
a mind like Annalee
1916
01:19:42,778 --> 01:19:44,080
walk out the door,
1917
01:19:44,080 --> 01:19:45,614
but goes out of its way to find
1918
01:19:45,614 --> 01:19:47,316
an indefinite home for me?
1919
01:19:47,316 --> 01:19:49,318
This place is
nothing but a coven
1920
01:19:49,318 --> 01:19:51,454
of criminal naval gauges and I,
1921
01:19:51,454 --> 01:19:53,656
I plant to lay waste to it.
1922
01:19:55,424 --> 01:19:57,526
In hindsight, I can
pinpoint exactly when
1923
01:19:57,526 --> 01:19:58,962
I knew I was in trouble.
1924
01:20:00,363 --> 01:20:02,465
We were watching "Ordinary
People" of all things.
1925
01:20:02,465 --> 01:20:03,933
She couldn't sit still.
1926
01:20:03,933 --> 01:20:05,801
White people problems.
1927
01:20:05,801 --> 01:20:08,972
But every time Mary
Tyler Moore hit screen
1928
01:20:08,972 --> 01:20:11,640
as that pastel
cyborg of a mother,
1929
01:20:12,675 --> 01:20:14,010
Annalee's back went rigid.
1930
01:20:15,879 --> 01:20:17,446
Like she'd witnessed a hanging.
1931
01:20:19,682 --> 01:20:20,716
We're at the climax.
1932
01:20:20,716 --> 01:20:24,087
Donald Sutherland weeps at her.
1933
01:20:24,087 --> 01:20:25,188
We'd have been alright
1934
01:20:25,188 --> 01:20:27,390
if there hadn't been any mess.
1935
01:20:27,390 --> 01:20:29,258
But you can't handle mess.
1936
01:20:29,258 --> 01:20:31,360
- There's your mess, bitch.
1937
01:20:31,360 --> 01:20:32,595
There it is.
1938
01:20:32,595 --> 01:20:34,630
I tried to
deny it for a few weeks,
1939
01:20:34,630 --> 01:20:36,732
but the flaw in my
theory was obvious.
1940
01:20:38,234 --> 01:20:40,603
However little she thought
of the source material
1941
01:20:40,603 --> 01:20:41,537
or the professor,
1942
01:20:42,838 --> 01:20:44,807
something in the work itself
1943
01:20:44,807 --> 01:20:46,642
just lit her up like a kid
1944
01:20:46,642 --> 01:20:48,244
who just learned
how to cartwheel.
1945
01:20:48,244 --> 01:20:49,879
And how could I blow that up?
1946
01:20:51,981 --> 01:20:53,249
On the other hand,
1947
01:20:53,249 --> 01:20:55,718
if I told her just how
many different ways
1948
01:20:55,718 --> 01:20:56,986
I'd been lying to her,
1949
01:20:56,986 --> 01:20:58,387
that she'd never
speak to me again.
1950
01:20:58,387 --> 01:21:00,623
No matter how much
money I owed her.
1951
01:21:00,623 --> 01:21:03,292
So I did what academics do best.
1952
01:21:04,793 --> 01:21:05,628
Nothing.
1953
01:21:07,196 --> 01:21:09,232
I sat quietly by.
1954
01:21:09,232 --> 01:21:12,001
Impartially observing
my experiment
1955
01:21:12,001 --> 01:21:15,404
while she felt
abandoned and enraged.
1956
01:21:16,906 --> 01:21:19,442
I impartially observed as she
1957
01:21:19,442 --> 01:21:20,676
grew to hate me.
1958
01:21:23,046 --> 01:21:24,313
I decided to come clean.
1959
01:21:24,313 --> 01:21:25,548
Picked a day and everything.
1960
01:21:25,548 --> 01:21:27,783
But of course as we all know,
1961
01:21:27,783 --> 01:21:30,419
what happens when Lisa
finally does the right thing?
1962
01:21:30,419 --> 01:21:32,688
She fucks up spelling her word,
1963
01:21:32,688 --> 01:21:33,722
and loses everything.
1964
01:21:35,724 --> 01:21:38,327
Maybe this is too
mainstream an idea
1965
01:21:38,327 --> 01:21:39,695
for Alternative Cinema,
1966
01:21:39,695 --> 01:21:42,131
but a broken heart.
1967
01:21:42,131 --> 01:21:43,933
- Just as long as
there's no statue.
1968
01:21:45,434 --> 01:21:48,504
Is only cliche
when it's not your heart.
1969
01:21:48,504 --> 01:21:49,338
- I don't remember saying that.
1970
01:21:49,338 --> 01:21:50,806
When did I say that?
1971
01:21:50,806 --> 01:21:52,608
She has erased
everything about me.
1972
01:21:52,608 --> 01:21:54,443
Except the part where
I ruined her life.
1973
01:21:56,412 --> 01:22:00,316
So, as much as I have
wanted to swoop in, somehow,
1974
01:22:00,316 --> 01:22:03,987
and save Annalee from your
professorial treadmill,
1975
01:22:05,754 --> 01:22:10,759
I guess we just all have
our chrysalis phase.
1976
01:22:13,296 --> 01:22:14,597
Caterpillars become moths.
1977
01:22:15,598 --> 01:22:17,166
Students become teachers.
1978
01:22:20,303 --> 01:22:22,938
Even a tree that
falls in the forest
1979
01:22:22,938 --> 01:22:24,540
sometimes become a railroad tie,
1980
01:22:25,674 --> 01:22:27,343
waiting to rot back
into the Earth.
1981
01:22:28,744 --> 01:22:31,514
This paper officially fulfills
my obligation, Professor.
1982
01:22:31,514 --> 01:22:33,716
That means no honor
board hearing.
1983
01:22:33,716 --> 01:22:34,750
She's safe,
1984
01:22:34,750 --> 01:22:38,487
and you can go shit in your hat.
1985
01:22:39,622 --> 01:22:42,691
I quit.
1986
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,768
- Please, come in.
1987
01:22:53,969 --> 01:22:56,772
Just clear off any seat,
make yourself at home.
1988
01:22:59,008 --> 01:23:00,243
Red Bull?
1989
01:23:00,243 --> 01:23:02,145
Or would you like
something with pep?
1990
01:23:02,145 --> 01:23:03,046
- I'm fine.
1991
01:23:06,815 --> 01:23:07,650
- So.
1992
01:23:09,085 --> 01:23:12,321
To what do I owe this
unexpected visit?
1993
01:23:14,723 --> 01:23:16,125
- This says Sigurd Rossdale.
1994
01:23:17,893 --> 01:23:19,328
- So?
1995
01:23:19,328 --> 01:23:20,329
- You said you were
letting him go.
1996
01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:21,497
- Now when did I say that?
1997
01:23:21,497 --> 01:23:23,066
- I rescue the
seven failing kids,
1998
01:23:23,066 --> 01:23:24,567
you give him the
grade he deserves.
1999
01:23:24,567 --> 01:23:25,668
That's the deal.
2000
01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:28,304
- How do you know he
doesn't deserve this grade?
2001
01:23:28,304 --> 01:23:29,372
- An A minus?
2002
01:23:31,140 --> 01:23:32,775
Maybe I didn't know
it was to which
2003
01:23:32,775 --> 01:23:34,543
hat he was referring.
2004
01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:45,221
- Oh no.
2005
01:23:47,723 --> 01:23:48,957
Oh Christ.
2006
01:23:48,957 --> 01:23:50,626
- Did you bother
to read it at all?
2007
01:23:51,894 --> 01:23:54,397
- I haven't read
his stuff in weeks.
2008
01:23:54,397 --> 01:23:55,231
It's drivel.
2009
01:23:56,632 --> 01:24:00,736
It's the half romantic
rantings of the deranged.
2010
01:24:00,736 --> 01:24:01,937
If he's not gonna
take this seriously,
2011
01:24:01,937 --> 01:24:02,938
why should I give him the time?
2012
01:24:02,938 --> 01:24:04,307
- Because you're his teacher,
2013
01:24:04,307 --> 01:24:06,309
and that's what he pays you for.
2014
01:24:06,309 --> 01:24:08,611
- There are people one
pays to care about you.
2015
01:24:09,612 --> 01:24:11,080
They're not called teachers.
2016
01:24:11,080 --> 01:24:12,781
- Then what the hell
have I been doing,
2017
01:24:12,781 --> 01:24:14,317
busting my ass?
- Anna, I'm not gonna
2018
01:24:14,317 --> 01:24:16,252
flunk Sigurd, I can't.
2019
01:24:17,286 --> 01:24:18,954
My tenure review is next week.
2020
01:24:18,954 --> 01:24:21,090
- But I told you, these kids
I've been working with--
2021
01:24:21,090 --> 01:24:23,626
- Oh please, I don't
care about these kids.
2022
01:24:23,626 --> 01:24:26,061
Fuck 'em, they mean nothing.
2023
01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:28,664
It's too much deviation
from the norm.
2024
01:24:28,664 --> 01:24:30,599
What is the committee gonna say?
2025
01:24:30,599 --> 01:24:33,669
My barely functioning sophomores
2026
01:24:33,669 --> 01:24:35,604
are now in the 98 percentile.
2027
01:24:35,604 --> 01:24:37,906
Okay, there's a big red flag.
2028
01:24:37,906 --> 01:24:39,708
My best grad student,
2029
01:24:39,708 --> 01:24:42,711
he's flunking a 200-level.
2030
01:24:42,711 --> 01:24:44,713
Another red flag.
2031
01:24:44,713 --> 01:24:46,849
They're outliers.
2032
01:24:46,849 --> 01:24:48,651
The committee's gonna
want to know why.
2033
01:24:48,651 --> 01:24:49,885
Who's this new TA?
- Don't.
2034
01:24:49,885 --> 01:24:51,120
- What are we doing different?
2035
01:24:51,120 --> 01:24:52,721
What kind of strings
did I have to pull
2036
01:24:52,721 --> 01:24:54,223
to get you here, huh?
2037
01:24:54,223 --> 01:24:56,058
Would you like to explain
the previous six years?
2038
01:24:56,058 --> 01:24:57,260
- Fuck, Marty.
2039
01:24:57,260 --> 01:24:58,161
Why did we even bother?
- Because it's what
2040
01:24:58,161 --> 01:25:00,963
you wanted to hear.
2041
01:25:00,963 --> 01:25:02,030
There was never a solution
2042
01:25:02,030 --> 01:25:03,166
that didn't land these grades
2043
01:25:03,166 --> 01:25:04,600
in the middle of the fairway.
2044
01:25:05,801 --> 01:25:07,836
Now what you've done
is outstanding work.
2045
01:25:09,905 --> 01:25:11,874
- What do they get in return?
2046
01:25:11,874 --> 01:25:13,676
- Their marks will
show improvements.
2047
01:25:13,676 --> 01:25:14,510
Improvement?
2048
01:25:14,510 --> 01:25:16,612
- Yes, to a degree.
2049
01:25:16,612 --> 01:25:17,880
I'm not gonna give Hooper an A.
2050
01:25:17,880 --> 01:25:20,015
It won't seem like his work.
2051
01:25:20,015 --> 01:25:21,150
- His paper on "The Fly,"
2052
01:25:21,150 --> 01:25:22,451
what grade did you give him?
2053
01:25:22,451 --> 01:25:23,719
I don't know.
2054
01:25:23,719 --> 01:25:25,521
- You said you were
humbled and amazed.
2055
01:25:25,521 --> 01:25:26,422
What grade?
2056
01:25:26,422 --> 01:25:27,856
- I gave him a C plus.
2057
01:25:28,791 --> 01:25:29,992
Oh will you calm down?
2058
01:25:29,992 --> 01:25:31,460
A C plus--
- Fuck you, calm down.
2059
01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:33,596
- Oh don't be so overdramatic.
2060
01:25:33,596 --> 01:25:36,031
- When Hooper hears that
grade, it'll ruin his life.
2061
01:25:36,031 --> 01:25:37,833
- Oh please.
- Ruin his life,
2062
01:25:37,833 --> 01:25:40,536
because Hooper succeeding
and Sigurd failing
2063
01:25:40,536 --> 01:25:42,205
might just fuck up your tenure.
2064
01:25:42,205 --> 01:25:43,606
- Yes.
2065
01:25:43,606 --> 01:25:47,109
Yes, it will fuck up my tenure.
2066
01:25:47,109 --> 01:25:49,612
Tenure is not a merit badge.
2067
01:25:49,612 --> 01:25:50,946
It's up or out.
2068
01:25:50,946 --> 01:25:53,382
Consolation prize, non-renewal.
2069
01:25:53,382 --> 01:25:54,683
But that's alright.
2070
01:25:54,683 --> 01:25:56,852
Because I'll just
brush up my resume,
2071
01:25:56,852 --> 01:25:59,388
which now bears the
skunk spray of rejection.
2072
01:26:00,556 --> 01:26:02,057
But I'm fine.
2073
01:26:02,057 --> 01:26:04,393
Because I'm sure
I'll find a school
2074
01:26:04,393 --> 01:26:07,596
who's just itching to
find a tenure track
2075
01:26:07,596 --> 01:26:09,765
for a recently passed
over middle aged man.
2076
01:26:09,765 --> 01:26:11,900
- Tenure track isn't
the only track there is.
2077
01:26:11,900 --> 01:26:14,437
- No, I can become
an adjunct again.
2078
01:26:14,437 --> 01:26:17,072
The day laborer of
University life.
2079
01:26:17,072 --> 01:26:20,175
Shit pay, no overtime,
no insurance.
2080
01:26:20,175 --> 01:26:22,511
Not even unemployment.
2081
01:26:22,511 --> 01:26:24,313
- Well I hear Jamba
Juice is hiring.
2082
01:26:25,614 --> 01:26:27,616
Get 'em back.
2083
01:26:27,616 --> 01:26:28,451
- He quit.
2084
01:26:29,318 --> 01:26:30,586
For real this time.
2085
01:26:30,586 --> 01:26:32,087
- I won't ask, you won't tell.
2086
01:26:34,089 --> 01:26:35,824
But I'm sure you
have your methods.
2087
01:26:37,426 --> 01:26:40,496
And in three years when
you're getting your doctorate,
2088
01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:43,432
you'll think back
on this moment,
2089
01:26:45,401 --> 01:26:47,336
and exactly how you
chose to thank me.
2090
01:27:11,260 --> 01:27:12,094
- Sigurd.
2091
01:27:13,662 --> 01:27:14,497
Sigurd.
2092
01:27:17,165 --> 01:27:18,567
Jesus.
2093
01:27:18,567 --> 01:27:21,804
What the fuck, you scared me.
- What the fuck, you?
2094
01:27:21,804 --> 01:27:23,706
I'm not the one going
in for the jugular.
2095
01:27:23,706 --> 01:27:26,742
What the
hell happened to you?
2096
01:27:26,742 --> 01:27:27,576
- What?
2097
01:27:29,778 --> 01:27:30,579
Shit.
2098
01:27:31,714 --> 01:27:33,115
- Thought that whole
killing yourself
2099
01:27:33,115 --> 01:27:34,850
thing was like a metaphor.
2100
01:27:35,718 --> 01:27:37,520
When's the last time you slept?
2101
01:27:37,520 --> 01:27:39,755
- About 30 seconds ago.
2102
01:27:40,689 --> 01:27:42,458
- That was some paper.
2103
01:27:42,458 --> 01:27:44,092
- Did Kane shit in his hat yet?
2104
01:27:44,092 --> 01:27:44,927
'Cause that would be awesome.
2105
01:27:44,927 --> 01:27:46,362
- Sigurd.
2106
01:27:46,362 --> 01:27:47,896
Sorry, I
know he's your Yoda.
2107
01:27:47,896 --> 01:27:52,034
- He's not, he's not
my Yoda, okay jackass?
2108
01:27:52,034 --> 01:27:54,202
Fuck Marty, he is nobody's Yoda.
2109
01:27:56,204 --> 01:27:57,640
Don't quit.
2110
01:27:57,640 --> 01:27:58,974
- It's done.
2111
01:27:58,974 --> 01:28:00,443
In the morning--
- Nothing's done.
2112
01:28:00,443 --> 01:28:01,310
I'm living proof.
2113
01:28:02,511 --> 01:28:04,447
No, you're
the exception, always.
2114
01:28:04,447 --> 01:28:06,148
Just
shut the fuck up.
2115
01:28:06,148 --> 01:28:07,416
We need your recordings.
2116
01:28:08,250 --> 01:28:09,251
All of them.
2117
01:28:09,251 --> 01:28:11,053
We're gonna take
'em to the Dean.
2118
01:28:11,053 --> 01:28:12,154
What's your password?
2119
01:28:12,154 --> 01:28:13,456
- What happened?
2120
01:28:13,456 --> 01:28:14,790
- He's a liar is all.
2121
01:28:16,024 --> 01:28:17,426
Password.
2122
01:28:17,426 --> 01:28:18,927
- No, I didn't do a
million make-up assignments
2123
01:28:18,927 --> 01:28:20,295
so you could turn it in
and get yourself expelled.
2124
01:28:20,295 --> 01:28:21,630
- Those make-ups
had nothing to do
2125
01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:22,965
with academic integrity.
2126
01:28:22,965 --> 01:28:24,867
They were about keeping
you on the hamster wheel
2127
01:28:24,867 --> 01:28:26,101
so he could get his tenure,
2128
01:28:26,101 --> 01:28:28,637
and I'm making damn sure
he goes down with us.
2129
01:28:28,637 --> 01:28:30,473
What is your password?
2130
01:28:33,241 --> 01:28:34,109
- Cyrano.
2131
01:28:35,010 --> 01:28:36,412
Capital C and a zero.
2132
01:28:40,516 --> 01:28:42,618
It doesn't matter, anyway.
2133
01:28:42,618 --> 01:28:44,387
We both agreed to the terms.
2134
01:28:44,387 --> 01:28:47,222
- This from a guy who made
his thesis into a bomb.
2135
01:28:47,222 --> 01:28:48,824
- Yeah I thought
you might like that.
2136
01:28:48,824 --> 01:28:49,892
Did you like it?
2137
01:28:49,892 --> 01:28:51,093
- Can't decide.
2138
01:28:51,093 --> 01:28:53,028
On one hand, it seems
incredibly stupid.
2139
01:28:53,028 --> 01:28:54,397
You had every reason to think
2140
01:28:54,397 --> 01:28:57,299
they'd just toss that
proposal out on its ass.
2141
01:28:57,299 --> 01:28:58,901
- Yeah.
- But in its own way,
2142
01:28:58,901 --> 01:29:00,536
it's kind of ingenious.
2143
01:29:00,536 --> 01:29:02,438
I mean, they almost
have to say yes
2144
01:29:02,438 --> 01:29:03,672
if only to bury the thing,
2145
01:29:03,672 --> 01:29:05,508
and they toss you,
you spy publish,
2146
01:29:05,508 --> 01:29:07,743
probably a bigger platform.
2147
01:29:07,743 --> 01:29:09,512
And as a certain
wanker once said,
2148
01:29:09,512 --> 01:29:11,814
you mention cheating
on a college campus.
2149
01:29:11,814 --> 01:29:13,348
- Fuck, I didn't even
think about that.
2150
01:29:13,348 --> 01:29:14,617
I should have consulted you
about this so much earlier.
2151
01:29:14,617 --> 01:29:16,251
Damn it, Sigurd.
2152
01:29:16,251 --> 01:29:17,520
Where the hell are
those recordings?
2153
01:29:17,520 --> 01:29:18,521
- I don't have them.
2154
01:29:20,155 --> 01:29:21,390
- What?
2155
01:29:21,390 --> 01:29:23,225
- Yeah, I didn't
need them anymore.
2156
01:29:23,225 --> 01:29:24,560
- God damn it, Sigurd.
2157
01:29:24,560 --> 01:29:26,094
Did you even take a breath
2158
01:29:26,094 --> 01:29:28,797
before trashing an entire
semester's worth of work?
2159
01:29:31,400 --> 01:29:32,868
- Here's what I know.
2160
01:29:34,570 --> 01:29:39,141
My lie, no matter what
the reason, hurt you.
2161
01:29:42,110 --> 01:29:44,747
And that is a scar I will
always have to live with.
2162
01:29:46,181 --> 01:29:47,249
His lie.
2163
01:29:48,451 --> 01:29:52,354
However noxious, you're
a fish who found water.
2164
01:29:52,354 --> 01:29:53,221
Be grateful.
2165
01:29:55,390 --> 01:29:57,826
If you threw this all out now,
2166
01:29:57,826 --> 01:29:59,227
you'd just be stupid.
2167
01:29:59,227 --> 01:30:01,263
And one thing you most
definitely are not is stupid.
2168
01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:08,737
- Well, if throwing it
all away is so stupid.
2169
01:30:08,737 --> 01:30:10,072
- Oh I fucking hate school.
2170
01:30:10,072 --> 01:30:11,474
It took me six and a half years
2171
01:30:11,474 --> 01:30:15,043
and a six figure loan to
figure out I don't like school.
2172
01:30:15,043 --> 01:30:17,145
- Well I'm glad you
found a zen about it.
2173
01:30:17,145 --> 01:30:19,247
Or at least a zen-aesthetic.
2174
01:30:19,247 --> 01:30:20,983
But I'm turning it the fuck in.
2175
01:30:20,983 --> 01:30:22,417
- Yeah, well I heard somewhere
2176
01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:24,720
that without evidence
it's just an accusation.
2177
01:30:26,455 --> 01:30:27,289
- Sigurd.
2178
01:30:36,665 --> 01:30:38,634
Why didn't you tell me that--
2179
01:30:46,408 --> 01:30:48,076
- I really hope
you just burn 'em.
2180
01:31:16,505 --> 01:31:18,040
- Annalee.
2181
01:31:18,040 --> 01:31:19,374
Hey.
2182
01:31:19,374 --> 01:31:21,476
Hey, we
got you something.
2183
01:31:21,476 --> 01:31:23,411
- Come on, Mitch, don't
get it all sweaty.
2184
01:31:23,411 --> 01:31:25,313
It's a gift certificate.
2185
01:31:25,313 --> 01:31:26,715
- To the Apple store.
2186
01:31:26,715 --> 01:31:30,485
- Guys, this, you
didn't need to do that.
2187
01:31:31,920 --> 01:31:34,823
- Well, anyways,
congrats and thanks.
2188
01:31:34,823 --> 01:31:36,224
- Yeah, thanks again.
2189
01:31:49,838 --> 01:31:52,107
- Step one, get to the top.
2190
01:31:52,107 --> 01:31:53,642
Step two, open container.
2191
01:31:53,642 --> 01:31:55,510
- No one needs beer this bad.
2192
01:31:55,510 --> 01:31:56,779
- The point is the journey.
2193
01:31:56,779 --> 01:31:58,346
You are
fucking with me.
2194
01:31:58,346 --> 01:31:59,748
A fellowship, huh?
2195
01:31:59,748 --> 01:32:00,949
They're
sending me to England.
2196
01:32:00,949 --> 01:32:03,686
Oh, fancy pants.
2197
01:32:03,686 --> 01:32:06,622
I've been warned
everyone says wanker there.
2198
01:32:06,622 --> 01:32:08,056
- You found your people then.
2199
01:32:09,625 --> 01:32:11,694
- And you are.
2200
01:32:13,495 --> 01:32:15,363
- Me and Lucy are doing alright.
2201
01:32:17,365 --> 01:32:19,534
You underestimated
her, you know.
2202
01:32:19,534 --> 01:32:21,804
New brakes, new
shocks, new blankets.
2203
01:32:24,072 --> 01:32:24,907
- The van.
2204
01:32:27,409 --> 01:32:29,511
Lucy is the van?
2205
01:32:29,511 --> 01:32:30,345
- Oh yeah.
2206
01:32:31,279 --> 01:32:32,414
The heat even works now.
2207
01:32:32,414 --> 01:32:33,315
AC doesn't.
2208
01:32:34,482 --> 01:32:36,318
- Sigurd, you're
living in the van?
2209
01:32:36,318 --> 01:32:38,386
- Yeah, I mean it's
the fastest way
2210
01:32:38,386 --> 01:32:39,822
to pay off the student loans.
2211
01:32:41,023 --> 01:32:41,857
It's okay, it's okay, really.
2212
01:32:41,857 --> 01:32:42,991
It gets me to work.
2213
01:32:44,226 --> 01:32:45,628
I blow shit up all day.
2214
01:32:46,662 --> 01:32:49,031
Gets me back to the state park.
2215
01:32:49,031 --> 01:32:50,232
Nature's taking me back.
2216
01:32:51,233 --> 01:32:52,434
- You kinda smell though.
2217
01:32:54,036 --> 01:32:55,704
- This is what
nature smells like.
2218
01:32:58,073 --> 01:32:59,474
- Was she always called Lucy?
2219
01:33:01,677 --> 01:33:03,245
- Steering panel came loose,
2220
01:33:04,813 --> 01:33:06,882
and I feel like she
needed a fresh start.
2221
01:33:06,882 --> 01:33:07,716
- Oh.
2222
01:33:12,788 --> 01:33:13,622
- So.
2223
01:33:14,589 --> 01:33:16,058
The weirdest thing.
2224
01:33:16,058 --> 01:33:19,094
There I am at the
mail deposit box,
2225
01:33:20,262 --> 01:33:25,200
and out falls this
fucking letter.
2226
01:33:26,735 --> 01:33:27,569
- Ass.
2227
01:33:28,837 --> 01:33:30,906
I've been sitting here waiting.
2228
01:33:32,107 --> 01:33:34,042
- Congratulations, Mr.
Rossdale, thank you,
2229
01:33:34,042 --> 01:33:35,978
on the acceptance by the
graduate studies committee.
2230
01:33:35,978 --> 01:33:37,612
- You just let me sit
here the whole time.
2231
01:33:37,612 --> 01:33:38,914
- On your masters thesis.
- Climbed eight
2232
01:33:38,914 --> 01:33:42,184
million stairs.
- Requiem for a Ribwich.
2233
01:33:42,184 --> 01:33:44,586
- Swan song of classic homage.
2234
01:33:44,586 --> 01:33:45,788
- It's a pretty boss title.
2235
01:33:45,788 --> 01:33:47,322
They should have
known it wasn't me.
2236
01:33:47,322 --> 01:33:48,556
Come on.
2237
01:33:48,556 --> 01:33:49,958
- Cover to cover,
ginned up by someone
2238
01:33:49,958 --> 01:33:52,360
who disbelieves every word.
2239
01:33:52,360 --> 01:33:53,829
- Kane was wrong.
2240
01:33:53,829 --> 01:33:56,131
They will never invent
software better than you.
2241
01:33:57,565 --> 01:33:59,101
- He has tenure now, you know.
2242
01:34:00,102 --> 01:34:01,336
His fucking tenure.
2243
01:34:01,336 --> 01:34:04,406
- Still I'm glad that
you didn't turn him in.
2244
01:34:04,406 --> 01:34:05,373
This looks good on you.
2245
01:34:05,373 --> 01:34:06,942
- I really wanted to.
2246
01:34:06,942 --> 01:34:08,243
You know, I just really,
2247
01:34:09,544 --> 01:34:12,280
really really wanted to.
2248
01:34:12,280 --> 01:34:13,581
- That extra year of school
2249
01:34:13,581 --> 01:34:16,018
really broadened your
vocabulary, didn't it?
2250
01:34:20,588 --> 01:34:24,592
- I burned the papers
in the reservoir,
2251
01:34:24,592 --> 01:34:25,728
scattered the ash.
2252
01:34:26,795 --> 01:34:28,196
- It's what I would've done.
2253
01:34:29,464 --> 01:34:31,233
- No you wouldn't.
2254
01:34:31,233 --> 01:34:33,068
- I would, too.
- No you would not.
2255
01:34:33,068 --> 01:34:35,137
- I would, too have.
- You didn't even,
2256
01:34:35,137 --> 01:34:37,205
you had them in your
luggage instead of clothes.
2257
01:34:37,205 --> 01:34:38,440
I mean,
2258
01:34:38,440 --> 01:34:40,108
what exactly were you
gonna do with them?
2259
01:34:40,108 --> 01:34:42,044
- I don't know.
2260
01:34:42,044 --> 01:34:43,111
I don't know.
2261
01:34:44,813 --> 01:34:47,282
It's probably the same reason
2262
01:34:47,282 --> 01:34:49,718
I had that tape recorder
in my pocket that night.
2263
01:34:51,119 --> 01:34:52,955
Even when I was
trying to come clean.
2264
01:34:58,293 --> 01:35:00,028
- Because it was
part of the story.
2265
01:35:04,199 --> 01:35:05,300
- Something like that.
2266
01:35:10,338 --> 01:35:12,507
I'm gonna get this framed.
2267
01:35:14,109 --> 01:35:16,311
Fucking masters degree.
2268
01:35:16,311 --> 01:35:18,680
Break glass in
case of emergency.
2269
01:35:20,148 --> 01:35:21,750
Guys in the crew will love it.
2270
01:35:21,750 --> 01:35:24,652
- Where are you gonna frame
it and hang it, in Lucy?
2271
01:35:24,652 --> 01:35:26,054
- Yeah, don't make fun.
2272
01:35:26,054 --> 01:35:26,889
She can hear you.
- Oh.
2273
01:35:26,889 --> 01:35:28,023
- She has ears.
2274
01:35:28,023 --> 01:35:29,524
It's really nice in there now.
2275
01:35:30,692 --> 01:35:32,761
It's got the vanilla
trees and everything.
2276
01:35:34,729 --> 01:35:35,563
Hey.
2277
01:35:36,899 --> 01:35:37,699
You wanna?
2278
01:35:40,035 --> 01:35:40,869
- Oh.
2279
01:35:46,141 --> 01:35:46,975
No.
2280
01:35:53,015 --> 01:35:54,216
- It's worth a shot.
149316
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