Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,988 --> 00:00:03,831
This is the hardest decision
we've ever
2
00:00:03,899 --> 00:00:05,366
had to make as a couple.
I know.
3
00:00:05,434 --> 00:00:07,802
And even though I think
we're doing the right thing,
4
00:00:07,869 --> 00:00:10,036
I feel like there's a voice
in our head screaming,
5
00:00:10,104 --> 00:00:11,305
"You're making a mistake!"
6
00:00:11,372 --> 00:00:12,906
I know.
7
00:00:12,973 --> 00:00:14,775
But I've decided.
8
00:00:16,577 --> 00:00:19,179
We're going with
the blood orange citrus.
9
00:00:19,246 --> 00:00:20,647
Thank God.
10
00:00:20,715 --> 00:00:22,816
You know, I really had my
heart set on the red velvet.
11
00:00:22,883 --> 00:00:23,950
Honey, no.
12
00:00:24,018 --> 00:00:25,318
Red velvet is such a trend cake.
13
00:00:25,385 --> 00:00:26,519
It'll feel like
a hipster wedding
14
00:00:26,586 --> 00:00:28,187
officiated by Mumford & Sons.
15
00:00:28,254 --> 00:00:29,855
Listen, guys...
16
00:00:29,923 --> 00:00:32,124
we still have over 900
wedding decisions to make,
17
00:00:32,192 --> 00:00:35,328
and so far, all you
agreed on is...
18
00:00:35,395 --> 00:00:36,829
well, nothing.
19
00:00:36,896 --> 00:00:38,163
I know.
20
00:00:38,231 --> 00:00:39,298
It's so hard making decisions
21
00:00:39,366 --> 00:00:40,333
with someone who's not me.
22
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,034
Yeah, I mean,
23
00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:43,535
we had nine months
to come up with a baby name,
24
00:00:43,602 --> 00:00:44,837
and we're not even close.
25
00:00:44,904 --> 00:00:46,371
Look, guys, my wife and I,
26
00:00:46,439 --> 00:00:47,505
we've been through this.
27
00:00:47,573 --> 00:00:49,341
We have named 16 kids together.
28
00:00:49,408 --> 00:00:51,476
Luis, Luis Jr.,
29
00:00:51,544 --> 00:00:53,511
Little Luis, Wide Luis.
30
00:00:53,579 --> 00:00:55,513
But what I learned is that
31
00:00:55,581 --> 00:00:57,015
if you can learn to compromise
32
00:00:57,083 --> 00:00:58,916
in the little
things... like cake...
33
00:00:58,984 --> 00:01:01,785
then you can move on
to the bigger issues
34
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,554
like baby names.
35
00:01:03,621 --> 00:01:04,889
Why don't you start
with something simple?
36
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:06,991
Like candles.
37
00:01:08,927 --> 00:01:10,928
Mm, these brown sugar
scented candles
38
00:01:10,996 --> 00:01:12,363
smell so delicious.
39
00:01:12,430 --> 00:01:14,697
Thank you for letting me
have them at the wedding.
40
00:01:14,765 --> 00:01:16,967
Well, you did let me choose
my blood orange cake,
41
00:01:17,034 --> 00:01:18,301
even though I did change it
42
00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:19,936
to burnt almond meringue
43
00:01:20,004 --> 00:01:21,838
after Guy Fieri ruined
citrus for us all. Yeah.
44
00:01:21,906 --> 00:01:24,074
So...
45
00:01:24,141 --> 00:01:25,475
there is something
46
00:01:25,542 --> 00:01:27,911
that I would like
at our wedding
47
00:01:27,979 --> 00:01:29,512
that I've been a little
scared to ask for.
48
00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:31,247
No, you cannot do
your Gollum impression
49
00:01:31,314 --> 00:01:32,481
when you put the ring
50
00:01:32,548 --> 00:01:34,383
on my finger.
No.
51
00:01:36,019 --> 00:01:38,120
I was wondering how you felt
about inviting your mother.
52
00:01:40,390 --> 00:01:41,623
I feel...
53
00:01:41,691 --> 00:01:43,926
No! No! No!
54
00:01:43,994 --> 00:01:45,327
Oh, my God.
55
00:01:45,395 --> 00:01:47,595
...conflicted?
56
00:01:47,662 --> 00:01:49,998
Look, I know it's been a
little chilly between you two,
57
00:01:50,065 --> 00:01:51,933
but you were working on it,
58
00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:53,902
you opened a dialogue,
it's starting to thaw.
59
00:01:53,969 --> 00:01:55,336
Don't you think
she should be here?
60
00:01:55,404 --> 00:01:58,973
David, I want our wedding day
to be about positivity,
61
00:01:59,041 --> 00:02:01,442
and love, and rented
trumpeter swans,
62
00:02:01,510 --> 00:02:03,476
and not any kind of tensions
between my mother and I.
63
00:02:03,544 --> 00:02:05,412
Okay, but she's your mom.
64
00:02:05,479 --> 00:02:07,281
Why would I want to share
our wedding day...
65
00:02:07,348 --> 00:02:08,348
our perfect day
66
00:02:08,416 --> 00:02:10,050
to celebrate our love...
67
00:02:10,118 --> 00:02:11,184
with her?
68
00:02:11,252 --> 00:02:14,054
Because your love wants you to.
69
00:02:18,292 --> 00:02:19,725
Fine.
70
00:02:19,793 --> 00:02:21,894
Yeah?
71
00:02:21,962 --> 00:02:23,396
No pretzel bread.
72
00:02:23,463 --> 00:02:25,798
Agreed. Now...
73
00:02:25,865 --> 00:02:30,036
Give me a kiss, my precious.
74
00:02:30,103 --> 00:02:32,071
You were so close
to getting some.
75
00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:35,188
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
76
00:02:35,308 --> 00:02:37,208
What's it gonna be,
what's it gonna be?
77
00:02:37,276 --> 00:02:39,144
I know!
78
00:02:39,211 --> 00:02:40,778
Oh...
Oh...
79
00:02:40,846 --> 00:02:43,315
It's our baby's
ultrasound picture.
80
00:02:43,382 --> 00:02:45,050
He looks like a
potato with a face.
81
00:02:45,117 --> 00:02:47,452
Thank God he didn't
get your nose.
82
00:02:47,519 --> 00:02:48,553
Thank you so much, Goldie.
83
00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,387
You can put it
on the bedside table
84
00:02:50,455 --> 00:02:51,888
next to that picture
of your mom,
85
00:02:51,957 --> 00:02:54,158
who I'm very excited
to meet, by the way.
86
00:02:54,225 --> 00:02:56,393
Oh, no, honey, that's a picture
of Meg Ryan, before...
87
00:02:56,461 --> 00:02:58,262
whatever the hell
happened there.
88
00:02:58,330 --> 00:02:59,930
No, but you can meet Colleen.
89
00:02:59,998 --> 00:03:01,165
Why don't you come to dinner?
Oh, we'd love to.
90
00:03:01,232 --> 00:03:02,899
Yeah. Rocky,
do you want to come, too?
91
00:03:02,968 --> 00:03:04,868
Thank you, but I've met
your mom, so I'll pass.
92
00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:06,336
But I'll take home an expensive
93
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,737
bottle of red to make up
for what I would have drank.
94
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,607
Well, Shania and I
would love to attend.
95
00:03:11,675 --> 00:03:13,776
Besides, it's important that
your mom meets Mr. Thingmeum.
96
00:03:13,844 --> 00:03:15,345
Have you decided on a name yet?
97
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,246
Oh, uh...
98
00:03:17,314 --> 00:03:20,383
Bryan and I are trying to avoid
the issue while Colleen is here.
99
00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,084
It's important
that she sees
100
00:03:22,151 --> 00:03:23,852
that David and I are on
the same page about things.
101
00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:25,387
Like she and my dad were.
102
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:28,190
And the baby name
is a bit of a...
103
00:03:28,257 --> 00:03:30,392
as they say on The View,
a "hot flash topic."
104
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,759
That's not what they say.
Well, they should.
105
00:03:31,827 --> 00:03:33,895
Your child's name should be
106
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:35,063
a source of conflict.
107
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,398
My parents named me.
108
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,299
Rocky Rhoades.
A little black girl
109
00:03:38,367 --> 00:03:40,368
named after lumpy ice cream?
110
00:03:40,435 --> 00:03:42,303
I had to fight for my life
on the playground.
111
00:03:42,371 --> 00:03:44,038
Shank or be shanked.
112
00:03:44,106 --> 00:03:45,406
I'm talking prison rules, baby.
113
00:03:45,474 --> 00:03:46,407
It was rough.
114
00:03:46,475 --> 00:03:48,009
Mom?
115
00:03:48,076 --> 00:03:50,311
Did you and Dad argue
about what my name would be?
116
00:03:50,379 --> 00:03:53,547
Um... actually, no,
we pretty much agreed.
117
00:03:53,615 --> 00:03:54,914
♪ That
don't impress me much... ♪
118
00:03:54,982 --> 00:03:56,282
Oh, my God, I don't know
what it is about
119
00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:57,950
Shania playing in the
toilet stall, but,
120
00:03:58,019 --> 00:03:59,752
oh, baby, I'm so horny.
121
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,721
Oh. Wait! Go to the
family planning aisle
122
00:04:01,788 --> 00:04:02,889
and steal some condoms.
123
00:04:02,956 --> 00:04:04,157
What?
124
00:04:04,225 --> 00:04:05,858
No, there's no time.
The song's almost over.
125
00:04:05,926 --> 00:04:07,027
Mm!
126
00:04:07,094 --> 00:04:08,961
That's how I got my name?
127
00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:10,329
What? It was a loving moment
128
00:04:10,397 --> 00:04:12,431
between me and your dad.
A few minutes
129
00:04:12,499 --> 00:04:13,965
later, and your name
would have been Chumbawamba.
130
00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:18,603
That is a great band.
131
00:04:18,671 --> 00:04:19,704
How could you joke about this?
132
00:04:19,772 --> 00:04:21,740
A name determines your destiny.
133
00:04:21,807 --> 00:04:23,175
And now I'm stuck for life
134
00:04:23,243 --> 00:04:25,244
with the choice you made
to a soundtrack of
135
00:04:25,311 --> 00:04:27,845
Canadian pop country
and auto-flushes?
136
00:04:27,913 --> 00:04:29,147
Well, that don't
impress me much.
137
00:04:29,214 --> 00:04:31,849
Oh, you... Shania.
Help me up.
138
00:04:31,917 --> 00:04:33,117
Yeah. Yeah. You keep that up,
139
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:34,685
and no Nancy Grace for a week!
140
00:04:36,288 --> 00:04:38,256
My God. If we named
our child after
141
00:04:38,323 --> 00:04:39,757
the song that was playing
when we first hooked up,
142
00:04:39,824 --> 00:04:41,025
his name would be Hoobastank.
143
00:04:41,093 --> 00:04:42,659
Hoobastank.
144
00:04:42,726 --> 00:04:43,726
I like that name.
145
00:04:43,794 --> 00:04:45,295
Hoobastank Collins.
146
00:04:45,363 --> 00:04:48,198
Hmm, white people have
the craziest names for bands.
147
00:04:48,266 --> 00:04:51,201
Hey, guys.
148
00:04:51,269 --> 00:04:52,969
Whoa, no dessert
before dinner, Shania.
149
00:04:53,037 --> 00:04:55,439
I'm not Shania.
I'm changing my name to Sarah.
150
00:04:55,506 --> 00:04:57,040
What are you
talking about, monkey?
151
00:04:57,108 --> 00:04:59,241
For the past ten years,
152
00:04:59,309 --> 00:05:01,444
I've been saddled with
your oddball name of Shania,
153
00:05:01,511 --> 00:05:03,679
the name that you
arbitrarily chose
154
00:05:03,746 --> 00:05:05,347
because of the random song
that was playing
155
00:05:05,415 --> 00:05:06,882
while you were having
premarital relations
156
00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:08,250
in a pharmacy.
157
00:05:08,318 --> 00:05:10,286
Oh, yeah!
158
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,754
That was you.
159
00:05:12,822 --> 00:05:14,956
There are five girls
in my class named Sarah.
160
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,791
I just want to be one of them.
161
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,394
Your mom and I agreed
on that name. Together.
162
00:05:19,462 --> 00:05:21,028
And you are not changing it.
Case closed.
163
00:05:21,097 --> 00:05:22,897
I don't think
it's a big deal, Clay.
164
00:05:22,965 --> 00:05:25,200
Let her call herself
Sarah if she wants.
165
00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:27,735
Case reopened.
Sarah's awesome mom
166
00:05:27,803 --> 00:05:30,137
gets a bigger vote
than Shania's inflexible dad.
167
00:05:31,106 --> 00:05:32,973
Whoa, Shania...
168
00:05:34,175 --> 00:05:35,209
How could you do that to me?
169
00:05:35,276 --> 00:05:36,977
In front of our daughter.
170
00:05:37,044 --> 00:05:39,045
You know, now she thinks
we're not a united front.
171
00:05:39,114 --> 00:05:40,981
This whole Sarah thing
will blow over.
172
00:05:41,048 --> 00:05:42,816
Last weekend,
she was the Hamburglar.
173
00:05:42,883 --> 00:05:43,950
I mean...
174
00:05:44,018 --> 00:05:45,219
Sorry. I-I just don't think
175
00:05:45,286 --> 00:05:46,352
that names matter that much.
176
00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:48,887
Although...
177
00:05:48,955 --> 00:05:51,124
I've been thinking
about my name, too.
178
00:05:51,191 --> 00:05:53,259
I've been through so many
changes this year.
179
00:05:53,327 --> 00:05:54,727
So I'm gonna drop Clemmons
180
00:05:54,794 --> 00:05:56,061
and go back to
my maiden name, Forrest.
181
00:05:56,130 --> 00:05:58,231
No. Y-You can't do that.
182
00:05:58,298 --> 00:05:59,332
It's not a big deal, Clay.
No.
183
00:05:59,399 --> 00:06:00,766
It's the biggest deal.
184
00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:02,300
We may not live together,
185
00:06:02,368 --> 00:06:04,902
Goldie, but the fact that
we share the same last name,
186
00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:05,970
it says we're a family.
187
00:06:10,276 --> 00:06:12,910
Bryan, that getup
you're wearing.
188
00:06:12,978 --> 00:06:13,945
Y-You look like...
189
00:06:14,013 --> 00:06:15,447
Like a gay yacht captain?
190
00:06:15,515 --> 00:06:18,215
When you say it,
it's a lot less fun.
191
00:06:18,283 --> 00:06:19,883
Now, Colleen,
192
00:06:19,951 --> 00:06:22,253
when was the last time
we saw each other?
193
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,021
Dad's funeral. Dad's funeral.
Oh.
194
00:06:24,088 --> 00:06:26,290
Oh, that was a tough day
for everyone.
195
00:06:26,358 --> 00:06:28,192
Especially your father, right?
196
00:06:30,295 --> 00:06:32,996
I absolutely love your home.
197
00:06:33,064 --> 00:06:34,197
Oh.
Oh.
198
00:06:34,265 --> 00:06:36,132
It's like the palace
of a tasteful dictator.
199
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:37,933
Thank you, Mother, it is.
200
00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:40,036
It will be the perfect place
to raise our child.
201
00:06:40,103 --> 00:06:41,171
Speaking of, I was hoping
202
00:06:41,238 --> 00:06:42,605
maybe that you would whisper
203
00:06:42,673 --> 00:06:43,873
the name of my grandson to me.
204
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:45,341
Oh, well, actually,
we're still sort of
205
00:06:45,409 --> 00:06:46,709
kicking the tires on
a few options, there.
206
00:06:46,777 --> 00:06:47,877
You haven't decided yet?
207
00:06:49,246 --> 00:06:51,146
He could arrive at any time.
208
00:06:51,214 --> 00:06:52,881
Okay, just give me
a few names you agree on.
209
00:06:56,052 --> 00:06:58,086
Okay. Uh, well,
210
00:06:58,154 --> 00:06:59,988
I would like to name him
after my grandpa.
211
00:07:00,056 --> 00:07:01,990
He was the best.
Oh...
212
00:07:02,058 --> 00:07:04,159
Yeah, he was a bit of
a moist kisser,
213
00:07:04,227 --> 00:07:06,094
but he made
one hell of an omelet.
214
00:07:06,162 --> 00:07:08,996
His name was Julius,
but everyone called him Julie.
215
00:07:09,064 --> 00:07:10,964
Julie...
the male offspring
216
00:07:11,032 --> 00:07:12,233
of two homosexuals.
217
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:13,701
I can't imagine
218
00:07:13,768 --> 00:07:15,102
any angry therapy sessions
in his future.
219
00:07:15,170 --> 00:07:16,604
Don't make fun, Bryan.
220
00:07:16,672 --> 00:07:18,972
Obviously David was very fond
221
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,608
of his grandfather, and I think
222
00:07:20,676 --> 00:07:22,176
Julius is a very nice name.
223
00:07:22,243 --> 00:07:23,176
Well, thank you, Colleen.
224
00:07:23,244 --> 00:07:24,911
What do you think of...
225
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,246
Thomas?
226
00:07:26,314 --> 00:07:27,780
Mm.
Hmm? Right?
227
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:28,881
It's the name of a president,
228
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,183
an apostle.
229
00:07:30,251 --> 00:07:32,051
An English muffin
with nooks and crannies.
230
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,387
And if Bryan gets his way,
231
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,323
then your baby's name
will be Tom Sawyer.
232
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,258
Wait, why would you assume
233
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,593
we're using David's last name?
234
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,027
Well, David's the donor.
235
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,729
Is that not "the way"?
236
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:44,796
And, Bryan, if
we use your last name,
237
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:46,832
his name would be Tom Collins.
238
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:50,769
Oh, no. He'll be teased by
239
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:53,305
all the 55-year-old mortgage
brokers at the airport bar.
240
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:56,207
Boys, I don't want
to start any chaos.
241
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:57,975
Mother, what-what chaos?
242
00:07:58,043 --> 00:07:59,143
This is not chaos.
243
00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:00,778
David and I agree
on everything else.
244
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:02,647
Oh, it's true.
We've planned our entire wedding
245
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:04,014
with not so much
as a speed bump.
246
00:08:04,082 --> 00:08:05,983
You know, actually, we are going
over the final details
247
00:08:06,051 --> 00:08:07,552
with the wedding
planner tomorrow.
248
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,019
Why don't you come with us,
249
00:08:09,087 --> 00:08:11,221
and you can see all the
decisions we agreed on.
250
00:08:11,289 --> 00:08:12,422
I would love to.
251
00:08:12,490 --> 00:08:14,023
Because I really want
to see that,
252
00:08:14,091 --> 00:08:16,860
you two boys on
the same page together.
253
00:08:16,927 --> 00:08:18,828
I mean, are you even sure
you're both gay?
254
00:08:18,896 --> 00:08:20,063
Well, if we're not,
we did something
255
00:08:20,131 --> 00:08:21,965
really weird last night.
256
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
257
00:08:35,313 --> 00:08:36,643
Okay.
Here's your flower choice.
258
00:08:36,677 --> 00:08:38,312
Perfect.
Love 'em.
259
00:08:38,346 --> 00:08:40,113
Centerpieces. Fantastic.
Stunning.
260
00:08:40,148 --> 00:08:42,115
And napkin rings.
Our napkins will look
261
00:08:42,150 --> 00:08:44,151
so gorgeous in those things.
So round.
262
00:08:44,185 --> 00:08:45,986
It's so nice to see you boys
finally in agreement.
263
00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:48,355
And here is your choice of cake.
264
00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:50,190
A burnt almond meringue.
265
00:08:50,224 --> 00:08:51,591
"Burnt almond"?
266
00:08:51,625 --> 00:08:52,759
It sounds...
267
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,694
well, let's face it,
it sounds burnt.
268
00:08:54,728 --> 00:08:57,597
Which is historically a sign
of failure in cake.
269
00:08:57,631 --> 00:08:59,899
I actually wanted a red velvet,
but Bryan insisted.
270
00:08:59,934 --> 00:09:01,701
I just feel very
strongly about this.
271
00:09:01,735 --> 00:09:02,669
Red velvet is passé.
272
00:09:02,703 --> 00:09:05,004
Is it passé, or is it perennial?
273
00:09:05,038 --> 00:09:06,906
Plantation owners
used to eat it
274
00:09:06,941 --> 00:09:08,140
in the antebellum South.
275
00:09:08,175 --> 00:09:09,208
So I'm supposed to serve
276
00:09:09,242 --> 00:09:10,309
a racist cake at my wedding?
277
00:09:10,344 --> 00:09:12,644
Bryan does know about
this stuff.
278
00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:14,947
All I'm saying is,
I respect and appreciate
279
00:09:14,982 --> 00:09:16,315
your partner's choice.
So do I.
280
00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:18,084
Well, red velvet it is, then.
281
00:09:18,118 --> 00:09:20,987
David, what else did
Bryan say no to?
282
00:09:21,021 --> 00:09:22,754
Oh... um...
Come on, show me.
283
00:09:26,658 --> 00:09:28,726
This was my nightmare.
284
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:29,961
I literally had a bad dream
285
00:09:29,996 --> 00:09:31,696
that my mother did nothing
but undermine me
286
00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:32,897
and pit us against each other.
287
00:09:32,931 --> 00:09:35,133
Except in my dream,
you were as tall as me.
288
00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:36,868
I think
you're overreacting, Bry.
289
00:09:36,902 --> 00:09:38,603
Of course you do.
You know why?
290
00:09:38,637 --> 00:09:40,338
Because she's siding with you
and not me.
291
00:09:40,373 --> 00:09:42,106
About cake?
292
00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:44,008
Who cares? It's not important.
293
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,575
Well, it's not
when you haven't had
294
00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:46,977
to deal with it
your entire life.
295
00:09:47,012 --> 00:09:48,979
Do you really think
my mother wanted
296
00:09:49,014 --> 00:09:50,947
to watch Baywatch Nights
like my little brothers?
297
00:09:50,982 --> 00:09:53,250
No. She just did it because
she knew I didn't want to.
298
00:09:53,284 --> 00:09:55,285
This is exactly why I
didn't want to invite her.
299
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:56,653
Because at a time
300
00:09:56,687 --> 00:09:57,953
where it is crucial
for us to be
301
00:09:57,988 --> 00:09:59,755
on the same page, she is turning
us against each other.
302
00:09:59,789 --> 00:10:02,325
Okay. That is not possible.
303
00:10:02,359 --> 00:10:05,028
I don't care about soup spoons
304
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,996
and gluten-free
boutonnieres.
305
00:10:07,031 --> 00:10:10,033
I care about marrying you.
306
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,035
For all I'm concerned, we could
throw all of our choices
307
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,701
in a hat
and draw 'em at random.
308
00:10:16,205 --> 00:10:17,906
We could make a game out of it.
309
00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,008
We could do it right
in front of her,
310
00:10:20,043 --> 00:10:21,343
at dinner with
Goldie and Shania.
311
00:10:21,377 --> 00:10:23,645
But not Rocky, who swiped
not one but two bottles
312
00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:24,812
of our good Merlot.
313
00:10:24,847 --> 00:10:27,782
Show your mom that nothing
can come between us.
314
00:10:27,816 --> 00:10:29,750
And you'll be okay with the
results, no matter what happens?
315
00:10:29,784 --> 00:10:31,652
Yes.
316
00:10:31,686 --> 00:10:33,254
Just no more disagreements.
317
00:10:33,288 --> 00:10:35,022
Agreed.
318
00:10:35,057 --> 00:10:36,190
Mm-hmm.
319
00:10:36,224 --> 00:10:37,224
We are ready!
320
00:10:37,259 --> 00:10:39,126
Yay! What are
we doing?
321
00:10:39,161 --> 00:10:41,228
Oh, yeah. Well, Bryan and I
just want to settle
322
00:10:41,263 --> 00:10:42,363
on a couple of our
wedding decisions.
323
00:10:42,397 --> 00:10:45,165
Oh, you boys must
really be at odds.
324
00:10:45,199 --> 00:10:47,800
No, Mother. Actually,
we are incredibly in sync.
325
00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:49,069
So much so that we have agreed
326
00:10:49,103 --> 00:10:50,670
to let the hat decide.
327
00:10:50,704 --> 00:10:52,905
Well, I wish I had
that kind of free time.
328
00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:54,840
Okay...
329
00:10:54,875 --> 00:10:56,409
Let the games begin.
330
00:10:56,444 --> 00:10:57,677
Okay, Shania,
331
00:10:57,711 --> 00:10:59,011
would you like to do the honors?
332
00:10:59,046 --> 00:11:02,414
Sorry. Sarah is
nonparticipatory.
333
00:11:03,683 --> 00:11:06,751
Okay. Uh, first category is
334
00:11:06,786 --> 00:11:09,288
beverage service, okay.
335
00:11:09,322 --> 00:11:12,324
There will be two choices...
one is mine, one is Bryan's.
336
00:11:12,358 --> 00:11:15,160
They will go into the hat...
mix it up, please.
337
00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:17,295
And the winner is...
338
00:11:19,064 --> 00:11:20,831
Oh, my God, it's mine...
Scott's microbrewery.
339
00:11:22,401 --> 00:11:24,034
Sorry, baby.
No, no.
340
00:11:24,069 --> 00:11:25,336
Listen, for our ten-year
vow renewal,
341
00:11:25,370 --> 00:11:27,305
you'll do your mint mixology station.
Amazing.
342
00:11:27,339 --> 00:11:31,709
The official floral
centerpiece choice is...
343
00:11:31,743 --> 00:11:33,610
Succulent desert cacti.
344
00:11:33,644 --> 00:11:36,079
- Yay for David. Yes!
- Arriba.
345
00:11:36,114 --> 00:11:37,880
Law of averages says
you'll win the next one.
346
00:11:37,915 --> 00:11:40,150
Our first dance will be to...
347
00:11:40,184 --> 00:11:43,186
"I Only Wanna Be With You"
by Hootie & the Blowfish.
348
00:11:43,221 --> 00:11:45,955
Love Hootie.
349
00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:47,924
Oh, I don't like rap music.
350
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,225
Riblets.
351
00:11:49,259 --> 00:11:51,160
Karaoke guestbook?
352
00:11:51,194 --> 00:11:52,394
People love that.
353
00:11:52,429 --> 00:11:54,796
Oh, I admire one's ability
354
00:11:54,831 --> 00:11:57,166
to cut loose
and sing like fools.
355
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,668
Bryan, you made a whole
TV program about it.
356
00:12:02,071 --> 00:12:03,239
Gyros.
357
00:12:03,273 --> 00:12:04,740
Ooh, delicious.
358
00:12:04,774 --> 00:12:06,341
Are you even putting mine in?
359
00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:08,876
Tiki torches.
360
00:12:10,179 --> 00:12:11,279
Festive.
361
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,615
Valets dressed as Sith Lords.
362
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:14,815
Oh, Shania.
363
00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:16,017
Sarah.
Sarah!
364
00:12:16,051 --> 00:12:17,619
Zoom, zoom!
365
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,621
And last but not least,
366
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:22,889
the mode of transportation
that will whisk the groom
367
00:12:22,923 --> 00:12:24,024
and the groom
368
00:12:24,058 --> 00:12:26,627
from the festivities will be...
369
00:12:26,661 --> 00:12:28,162
Drumroll.
370
00:12:28,196 --> 00:12:30,264
Segways... yes!
371
00:12:30,298 --> 00:12:32,166
What are those?
372
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,868
Eat my dust. Eat my dust.
373
00:12:34,902 --> 00:12:36,703
I cannot believe I won, like,
374
00:12:36,737 --> 00:12:38,371
every category. Yes!
375
00:12:38,405 --> 00:12:39,838
Hey, I've got a great idea
376
00:12:39,873 --> 00:12:41,106
if you want to settle
the name fight.
377
00:12:41,141 --> 00:12:43,309
It's not a fight, Mother.
Let the hat decide.
378
00:12:43,343 --> 00:12:45,311
Oh... I don't
know about that.
379
00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:47,313
Oh, come on,
it sounds like fun, right?
380
00:12:47,347 --> 00:12:48,914
Yeah, I don't think...
381
00:12:48,948 --> 00:12:50,916
This is happening.
382
00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:52,652
Uh...
383
00:12:52,686 --> 00:12:53,851
uh...
384
00:12:53,886 --> 00:12:56,054
Bryan, why don't we just go
in the other room
385
00:12:56,088 --> 00:12:57,855
and talk... are you gonna
write my name, okay.
386
00:12:57,890 --> 00:12:59,057
Sweetie, we don't have...
It's fine, it's fine,
387
00:12:59,091 --> 00:13:02,227
it's fine, it's fine,
it's fine.
388
00:13:03,296 --> 00:13:05,096
Which will it be,
389
00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:06,731
Thomas or Julie?
390
00:13:06,765 --> 00:13:08,132
Oh, I'm so excited!
391
00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:10,000
I can't wait to hear
my grandson's name.
392
00:13:11,169 --> 00:13:12,869
Ready?
393
00:13:27,918 --> 00:13:31,821
Julie.
394
00:13:32,756 --> 00:13:35,592
Yes! Julie Sawyer lives!
395
00:13:35,626 --> 00:13:38,628
Julie Sawyer lives, oh, my God.
396
00:13:38,662 --> 00:13:40,263
You wet-kissing, waffle-flipping
son of a bitch!
397
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:42,764
Julie Sawyer's alive again.
Oh, congratulations.
398
00:13:42,798 --> 00:13:45,967
Hey, that's so
good, oh, I'm so...
399
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,337
No!
400
00:13:49,805 --> 00:13:51,806
I don't give a damn
what this paper says.
401
00:13:51,841 --> 00:13:53,775
I can, I can let go
of a lot of things, okay?
402
00:13:53,809 --> 00:13:57,378
Riblets, gyros,
Hootie & the Blowfishes.
403
00:13:57,412 --> 00:14:00,314
Because at the end of the day
all those idiotic choices
404
00:14:00,349 --> 00:14:01,882
are insignificant.
405
00:14:01,916 --> 00:14:05,319
But under no circumstance
will my son be named Julie!
406
00:14:05,354 --> 00:14:06,820
Game over.
407
00:14:06,855 --> 00:14:09,657
Unless you disagree, Mother.
408
00:14:10,859 --> 00:14:13,193
Well, I certainly
never raised him
409
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:15,061
to be such a poor sport.
410
00:14:23,424 --> 00:14:25,492
Mother?
411
00:14:25,801 --> 00:14:28,161
Oh, the sheets are very scratchy.
412
00:14:28,196 --> 00:14:30,397
Do you have anything
a little less organic?
413
00:14:30,431 --> 00:14:32,131
Yeah, I'll just run down
to the 7-Eleven.
414
00:14:32,166 --> 00:14:33,432
Mother, we need to talk.
415
00:14:33,466 --> 00:14:36,868
Oh, honey, you don't have
to apologize for your outburst.
416
00:14:36,903 --> 00:14:39,871
Planning a wedding is
a very stressful time.
417
00:14:39,906 --> 00:14:42,874
I know because I watch a lot
of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.
418
00:14:42,909 --> 00:14:44,176
Okay, well,
that is a great show.
419
00:14:44,211 --> 00:14:45,444
But, no, I'm not apologizing.
420
00:14:45,478 --> 00:14:46,978
If anything, you should.
421
00:14:47,013 --> 00:14:49,247
What do I have
to be sorry about?
422
00:14:49,281 --> 00:14:51,349
The fact that
you don't know what...
423
00:14:51,383 --> 00:14:53,184
what deserves an apology,
424
00:14:53,219 --> 00:14:54,919
that deserves an apology.
425
00:14:54,953 --> 00:14:56,921
Just forget it, I knew...
426
00:14:56,955 --> 00:14:58,323
I knew this would happen
if invited you.
427
00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:01,158
You weren't gonna invite me
to your wedding?
428
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:03,928
No.
429
00:15:03,962 --> 00:15:05,262
No, I wasn't.
430
00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:07,831
'Cause I don't want
to deal with this.
431
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:11,368
I tried with you
my very best, Bryan.
432
00:15:11,402 --> 00:15:14,003
I am sorry
if you judge me for it.
433
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,472
Me?
434
00:15:15,506 --> 00:15:17,274
All you do is judge me.
435
00:15:17,308 --> 00:15:19,142
You make fun
of the way I dress.
436
00:15:19,176 --> 00:15:21,477
You-you criticize
my work, my sheets.
437
00:15:21,511 --> 00:15:25,214
Y-You like David's baby name
choice better than mine.
438
00:15:25,249 --> 00:15:26,882
And look, I know you had
six kids to raise,
439
00:15:26,916 --> 00:15:29,318
but you could have tried a
little bit harder to disguise
440
00:15:29,353 --> 00:15:31,287
the fact that you loved me
less than the others.
441
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,289
You exhaust me, Bryan.
442
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,625
I-I can't win.
443
00:15:35,659 --> 00:15:39,561
I come here to your wedding
to a man.
444
00:15:39,595 --> 00:15:42,230
A man you're gonna
start a family with.
445
00:15:42,265 --> 00:15:45,233
My friends make comments.
446
00:15:45,268 --> 00:15:47,034
"I'm happy for them," I say.
447
00:15:47,069 --> 00:15:50,204
"I-I'm so glad he found
a good person," I say.
448
00:15:50,239 --> 00:15:52,539
"I was worried for a
while, but I'm not now.
449
00:15:52,574 --> 00:15:55,509
"I can't wait to hold
my grandson," I say.
450
00:15:55,543 --> 00:15:58,445
And then I come here
451
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,914
and share my
opinion about cake,
452
00:16:00,948 --> 00:16:02,949
and you still see
me as the mother
453
00:16:02,984 --> 00:16:05,552
who spanked you for
stealing her good lipstick?
454
00:16:07,922 --> 00:16:09,922
You're still so hurt, Bryan,
455
00:16:09,956 --> 00:16:12,024
and I can't fix the past.
456
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:15,495
You're gonna be a father now.
457
00:16:17,998 --> 00:16:19,865
Isn't it time for
you to grow up?
458
00:16:23,236 --> 00:16:24,503
Yes.
459
00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:31,343
Thank you for coming, Mom.
460
00:16:31,377 --> 00:16:33,412
Thank you for asking me, Bryan.
461
00:16:36,416 --> 00:16:39,551
Oh, God, it's just so hard
to have big opinions.
462
00:16:39,585 --> 00:16:42,052
I'm right almost all
the time and I have
463
00:16:42,086 --> 00:16:45,423
no patience for
the slow-witted.
464
00:16:45,457 --> 00:16:48,158
It makes people
feel very small.
465
00:16:48,193 --> 00:16:50,160
I wouldn't recommend it.
466
00:16:50,195 --> 00:16:52,162
I know, it's maddening.
467
00:16:52,197 --> 00:16:53,497
I lived with you for 18 years.
468
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,033
And Bryan,
469
00:16:57,067 --> 00:17:00,136
David has lived
with you for eight,
470
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:03,340
and is signing up
for a lifetime.
471
00:17:03,374 --> 00:17:05,608
Give in on the little things,
sweetheart.
472
00:17:06,944 --> 00:17:08,978
I never did.
473
00:17:11,014 --> 00:17:13,482
Now, about that baby's name.
474
00:17:13,516 --> 00:17:16,318
There will be a moment
475
00:17:16,353 --> 00:17:19,187
when you will just know
what his name should be.
476
00:17:19,222 --> 00:17:21,957
Be patient. It'll happen.
477
00:17:21,991 --> 00:17:24,192
It happened on every
single one of my kids,
478
00:17:24,227 --> 00:17:26,127
except for your sister.
479
00:17:26,162 --> 00:17:29,230
In my defense, I was on a
few diet pills at the time.
480
00:17:29,264 --> 00:17:30,998
Poor Marva.
481
00:17:31,032 --> 00:17:32,600
I know.
482
00:17:35,136 --> 00:17:36,270
I know.
483
00:17:40,208 --> 00:17:41,509
How was school,
484
00:17:41,543 --> 00:17:42,577
Sarah?
485
00:17:42,611 --> 00:17:43,611
Did you learn fractions?
486
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,545
My name's not Sarah anymore.
487
00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:47,046
I'm going back to Shania.
488
00:17:47,081 --> 00:17:50,116
Something happened today
that changed my mind.
489
00:17:55,656 --> 00:17:56,523
What are you doing?
490
00:17:56,557 --> 00:17:58,024
What does it look like?
491
00:17:58,058 --> 00:18:00,926
I'm building a log cabin
out of fish sticks.
492
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,862
I'm Sarah. What's your name?
493
00:18:02,896 --> 00:18:03,896
Blog.
494
00:18:03,930 --> 00:18:04,530
What?
495
00:18:04,564 --> 00:18:05,865
It's a pretty weird name,
496
00:18:05,899 --> 00:18:07,833
but I've never met
anyone else with it,
497
00:18:07,868 --> 00:18:08,834
so I love it.
498
00:18:08,869 --> 00:18:10,168
Well, Blog fits you.
499
00:18:10,203 --> 00:18:11,804
To be honest,
500
00:18:11,838 --> 00:18:13,105
my real name is Shania.
501
00:18:13,139 --> 00:18:15,140
Some lady singer
named Shania was
502
00:18:15,174 --> 00:18:18,276
on the radio in the drugstore
toilet where my parents made me.
503
00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:20,412
Gross story.
504
00:18:21,313 --> 00:18:23,448
But cool name.
505
00:18:23,482 --> 00:18:24,982
A name defines you
506
00:18:25,017 --> 00:18:26,484
before you have a chance
507
00:18:26,519 --> 00:18:27,852
to do it yourself.
508
00:18:27,887 --> 00:18:29,421
Sometimes being unique
is exhausting,
509
00:18:29,455 --> 00:18:30,488
but it's who I am.
510
00:18:30,523 --> 00:18:32,456
Thanks for the cool name, Dad.
511
00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:36,460
Did you know that your mom's
going back to her maiden name?
512
00:18:36,494 --> 00:18:38,962
It's... it's like
she's saying that
513
00:18:38,996 --> 00:18:40,864
we were never married.
514
00:18:40,899 --> 00:18:42,065
It makes me super sad.
515
00:18:42,099 --> 00:18:43,600
You should tell her
how you feel.
516
00:18:43,635 --> 00:18:45,469
Maybe I will, Sarah.
517
00:18:45,503 --> 00:18:47,404
Shania.
518
00:18:47,439 --> 00:18:50,306
It's gonna be hard
to get used to.
519
00:18:53,544 --> 00:18:55,545
David?
520
00:18:56,580 --> 00:18:58,047
I don't want you
521
00:18:58,081 --> 00:18:59,582
to give up everything
that you want.
522
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,050
Our wedding day should be
523
00:19:01,084 --> 00:19:02,552
a reflection of both
of our opinions.
524
00:19:02,586 --> 00:19:04,186
But you hate all my ideas.
525
00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:08,824
Actually, there's one
that I really love.
526
00:19:13,496 --> 00:19:16,431
Oh, seriously?
527
00:19:16,466 --> 00:19:18,967
You're okay with this song
being our first dance?
528
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:20,501
Oh, my God, no,
no, it's the worst.
529
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:23,971
No, we're just dancing now
to get it out of your system.
530
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,977
No, the idea that I love,
that I want to thank you for
531
00:19:30,011 --> 00:19:33,881
is pushing me to invite
my mom to our wedding.
532
00:19:33,915 --> 00:19:35,816
She actually gave me
533
00:19:35,851 --> 00:19:37,550
some really great advice
about picking a baby name.
534
00:19:37,585 --> 00:19:39,185
Oh, yeah? What was that?
535
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:40,553
To not stress about it.
536
00:19:40,588 --> 00:19:43,255
That when the time was
right, we would just know.
537
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,159
It's so good. Come on.
538
00:19:47,194 --> 00:19:49,028
You really like this, don't you?
Mm-hmm.
539
00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:51,598
Oh...
540
00:19:51,632 --> 00:19:54,466
♪ I'm gonna pout at you
until I get my way ♪
541
00:19:54,501 --> 00:19:57,035
"Sawyer Collins."
542
00:19:57,069 --> 00:19:58,370
♪ I won't dance... ♪
543
00:19:58,404 --> 00:20:00,372
Oh, my God, I love it.
It's perfect.
544
00:20:00,406 --> 00:20:04,009
♪ I just want to love you,
but you want to wear my ring ♪
545
00:20:04,043 --> 00:20:06,144
♪ But there's nothing I can do ♪
546
00:20:06,178 --> 00:20:07,846
Oh!
Yes!
547
00:20:07,881 --> 00:20:09,079
It was the song.
548
00:20:09,114 --> 00:20:11,448
♪ I only wanna be with you. ♪
549
00:20:19,391 --> 00:20:21,425
Whoa!
Oh!
550
00:20:21,460 --> 00:20:23,494
It was really sweet of
you to suggest this.
551
00:20:23,529 --> 00:20:25,663
The girls are having
so much fun.
552
00:20:25,697 --> 00:20:27,397
Goldie?
553
00:20:27,431 --> 00:20:29,166
Do you remember the last time
554
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,568
we were at a bowling alley
together?
555
00:20:31,602 --> 00:20:33,570
Yes, Yes, I'll marry you.
556
00:20:33,604 --> 00:20:36,373
For better or worse.
557
00:20:37,441 --> 00:20:39,509
Of course.
558
00:20:39,544 --> 00:20:42,845
It's different, though.
I mean, we are a lot different.
559
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,714
Yeah.
Yeah.
560
00:20:45,849 --> 00:20:47,650
Huh.
Oh.
561
00:20:47,685 --> 00:20:49,786
Okay.
562
00:20:50,821 --> 00:20:53,322
One thing hasn't changed.
563
00:20:54,291 --> 00:20:57,425
I love you, and I don't care
564
00:20:57,459 --> 00:21:00,261
if your name is Goldie Forrest
or Clemmons.
565
00:21:00,296 --> 00:21:02,363
Hell, I'd change my name
to Clay Forrest
566
00:21:02,398 --> 00:21:04,598
if it means
I get to spend the rest
567
00:21:04,632 --> 00:21:06,067
of my life with you.
568
00:21:06,101 --> 00:21:08,669
Goldie...
569
00:21:08,704 --> 00:21:10,738
will you remarry me?
570
00:21:25,393 --> 00:21:30,423
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
571
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,067
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
40401
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
