All language subtitles for The.New.Normal.S01E20.AboutaBoyScout.eng

DAVID: You really t?
FREDDIE: Yes, absolutely.

Oh, you guys were gone
for so long.

How was your hike
in Runyon Canyon?

It was crazy... Bar Refaeli
was there and she passed out.

David gave her
mouth-to-mouth.

Which was wasted on him.
I could've done that.

He totally
CPR-blocked me, man.

Well, good for you.

Just wash your lips
before you come to bed tonight.

Well, I ended up
having a great time with Donny.

I can't wait till we have a son
that I can do outdoor stuff with.

You mean like the camping trip
I have tomorrow night

with Donny's Cub Scout troop?

You really think it's fun
to sleep on the ground,

listen to kids complain
about no Internet

and think every sound
they hear is a ghost rapist?

DAVID:
Are you kidding me?

I would love to do that.

After all,
I am an Eagle Scout for life.

"Once an Eagle,
always an Eagle."

And one day
our son will be one, too.

What? No.

No, I'm no letting our son
be a part of the Boy Scouts.

I mean, not that they would
let him be involved anyway.

Not with two gay dads.

That's their policy.

Oh, come on,
they don't enforce that.

Yes, they do.

They kick out more gay men

than the
Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Don't you read the news?

Look, I know that
the Boy Scouts

haven't exactly rolled out
the red carpet for gay people,

but this isn't about politics;

It's about boys
toasting marshmallows

and making lanyards

and learning that when
a black bear attacks,

you play dead, but when
a grizzly bear attacks,

you stand up and you fight.

And when a West Hollywood
bear attacks,

you pretend to hate it.

I just can't believe
you would support

an organization
that excludes you.

I support the virtues
that the Scouts teach:

To be trustworthy, loyal,
helpful, courteous,

thrifty and brave.

Oh, so they're the ones
that taught you that thrifty

is a virtue.

No, that was Rabbi Abramowitz.

Look, I know that you think

this is a joke,

but the Scouts taught me
the life skills

that I use to this day.

Dude, you're so into
this Scouting stuff,

you're the one that should
chaperone this overnight.

Are you kidding me?
I would love to.

Fine, go.

Maybe you can earn
your hypocrisy badge.

Are there really bears
in West Hollywood?

Yes, but don't worry,

you have to be 21 or over
to get in those places.

Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com

Thank you for helping me update

this business software, Rocky.

Well, a business woman
has to manage her money.

Trust me, I know.

Six years ago

I went into debt buying
Balenciaga gold leggings

like Beyoncé wore
to the BET Awards.

Split up the back when I
dropped my lollipop. Ooh.

So, how long have you had
this computer?

Oh, it was a gift.

It's not really much of a gift.

I mean, I just cleared the

memory off my old computer,

bounced on some extra RAM.

And loaded Quicken
and a spreadsheet generator.

Look, Mom,

it's like a
really heavy, slow iPad.

Oh, thank you so much, Brice.

So, your nana's man
gave you a computer,

helped you find
a business property

and didn't take a commission?
Mm-mm.

You don't need Quicken to tell
you that doesn't add up.

I feel like you want me
to think that's bad?

You are so damn country, honey.

This is L.A.

You do not trust any man
who gives you a gift over $20

unless he is your man-man,

blood relation,
employer or a pimp,

which is the same thing.

Let me know if you have any
questions about this software.

I'm off to a meeting.

Ooh, a meeting?

Where are we off to today,
fellow businesswoman?

To a place I like to call
"mind your own damn business."

(quietly):
'Kay. Have fun.

Phew, for a second there,
I really thought you were

going to embarrass yourself,

but that little cap
pulled it all together.

You know, Bry, you don't always

have to be so brutally honest.

Some things
are better left unsaid.

What?

I didn't say anything
about your neckerchief.

Welcome,

to the Tuesday meeting
of Loveaholics Anonymous.

My name is Ben,

and I'm a loveaholic.

OTHERS:
Hi, Ben.

BEN:
L-Anon is a fellowship

of men and women

whose common purpose is to stop
the unhealthy patterns

of relying on love and intimacy.

Remember, let's please avoid
trigger words

such as the names
of dating Web sites,

Nicholas Sparks

and "die alone."

I have two days of abstinence

from fantasizing about
my landlady, Estafania.

I just relapsed.

But I couldn't eat
at the restaurant

because I'm in
Overeaters Anonymous

and he couldn't
pay the bill because

he's in Debtors Anonymous,

so we ended up doing cocaine
in his minivan,

which would've been a slipup
in Narcotics Anonymous,

but I don't really need
that program, so I quit going.

And so I sent an e-mail
to his fiancée that said,

"If I can't have Richard,

I'll turn your face into
a toilet bowl of blood."

I heard about y'all on a
Tavis Smiley episode,

which I was watching
because I am...

I mean, was, in love with him.

I've made so many foolish
choices for love.

Darnell, you hungry, baby?!

I got what you need!

Love me!

(glass shatters, siren whoops)

I had to get honest with myself
and say,

"Rocky, you need help."

And that's why
I'm standing here

celebrating 90 days of
abstinence from love addiction.

(applause)

BEN: Does anyone
else want to share?

Anyone?

MAN:
Ah, what the hell.

BEN:
Hey.

(gasps)

I'm Brice.

I'm a loveaholic,
uh, romance addict

and-and basically
a compulsive playa, whatever.

OTHERS: Hi, Brice.
Hi.

If you're a woman, uh, I will

make you fall in love with me

no matter how much
chaos it causes.

That's always been my drug
of choice.

Hi. How was your camping trip?

I am not going to lie,
it was pretty incredible.

We set traps,
built lean-tos,

identified edible plants.

It's hard for me
to share in your excitement

when I know you also pooped
in the woods like animals.

Not like animals...

they don't bring
their own wipes.

Oh, my God,
I missed it so much.

Being in the wilderness.

Teaching the kids
all those skills.

Okay, who's hungry?

Bryan, I was awesome.

It sounds rustic
and unsanitary.

And strangely sexy.

And they were okay
with you being gay?

Actually,
it never really came up.

DONNY: I want to be an Eagle
Scout, just like you,

Scoutmaster David.

So, Dave, uh, no kids
of your own yet, huh?

Well, actually,
we're expecting a boy in June.

Congratulations.
Thank you.

I'll bet the old ball and chain
is counting down the days

till that happens, huh?

Oh, no, I dropped
my weenie in the embers.

Uh, don't worry,
I'll take care of this.

So, sort of a lie of omission.

Bryan, I know you
want to paint the Boy Scouts

as some sort of hate group,

but I had a great time.

And you know what?

The troop is meeting again
on Thursday,

and I'm going to take
Donny to that, too. Okay.

Well, if you're
convinced they're so accepting

of a gay person in their group,

why don't you
have the meeting here...

where you live...

with a man...

who you take baths with.

Fine, I think that's
a great idea.

And if it makes
you feel better,

I'll put a big gay badge
on my sash.

Hmm, an organization

that discriminates
against gay people,

yet mandates all its members
wear a sash.

Interesting.

Now, in order to earn
your entomology badge,

you have to not only
know what an insect is,

but also what an insect isn't.

Now, who can take a look
at the board

and tell me which of these
is not an insect?

Go.

(shouting answers)

Wrong.

None of them are.

They are arachnids.

BOYS:
Oh...

You know everything, David.

I mean, you should get
a merit badge

in just overall smartness?

You mean, like this one?

My mom made that.

Although,
not officially sanctioned.

And your house should have one
for tasteful decorating.

Thank you, but I cannot take
credit for that.

That goes to my...

better half.
(door closing)

(clears throat)
Who, I believe, just arrived.

Uh, just excuse me one second.

(low chatter)

Hey.

Glad you're here.

Are you sure
you want to do this?

Yep, yeah, yeah.

Absolutely.

They're going to love you.

Hi, everybody.

I would like you to meet Bryan.

He is...

my life partner.

My fiancé, in fact.

We're getting married.

And we're having
a-a baby boy soon.

Just two men, in love.

Sharing a life.

Bryan Collins.

(sighs)

♪ ♪

Obviously,
you didn't tell us everything.

Like, how did you land yourself
an Eagle Scout, Bryan?

David is amazing.

You're a very lucky man.

Don't I know it.

Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. Come on, guys.
Come on.

Oh, there's so... so many of you.
Hi.

Hey, Lil' Shane.

How's my sweet Nikki?

Did she give you
any trouble today?

No, I love babysitting Nikki.

In fact,

we're playing Project Runway.

I'm Nina Garcia

and I'm about to deliver

an icy, scolding
criticism of this.

(Rocky gasps)

You know, until
this moment, I haven't

considered the possibility

of your weirdness
rubbing off on her.

I am kind of her role model.

Hmm, so what's
with all these boxes?

Did you jack a Staples?

No, Brice borrowed them
from his office

to give to Mom for
her new business.

And he brought me
the sweet potato flavored

Japanese candy I love

that I'll assume he paid for.

He's so awesome.

Shania, how often does Brice

stop by here to see your mom?

Not every day or anything.

Sometimes he visits at her
new store instead.

Mm-hmm.

Are you ever going to pay me
for babysitting?

Not now, baby.

I got real problems.

Bryan, can I ask
your opinion about something?

Is it about your attraction
to Colin Powell?

Because I completely
understand.

It's a power thing.

No, I was wondering if you would
tell the truth

even if what you say may hurt
that person's feelings.

You think I'm fat.

I'm not even talking about you.

You think David's fat. You
should definitely say something.

This is not about you or David.

Then I'm less interested.

(sighs) I don't want to
say something to someone,

but by not saying
something, it could mess up

someone else's life.

Who are all
these anonymous people?

I can't say.

Further disinterested.
Look, Rocky,

sometimes you think
the truth is going to hurt,

but it ends up helping.

Like how I encouraged David with
the Boy Scouts the other day.

The whole thing
was a huge success,

and now we're gonna have more
Scouting events at the house.

And that was supposed
to encourage me?

My point is,
is that by being honest,

David is able to be who he is

in a group that he loves.

To me, the truth
is an obligation:

You just have
to say it out loud.

Okay. Well...

you look like a real skinny
Bob's Big Boy.

Damn. You're right.

(snaps fingers) That felt really
good to get that off my chest.

Skinny?

Excuse me, fellow love addict.
May I have a word?

(quietly): Careful. She
is aggressive and broken.

Hey, what's up, Rocky?
Oh, and may I say,

the way you look
in those black suede

Christian Louboutin
ankle boots,

that is proof
there's a higher power.

Yeah, well, if you don't
back up off of Goldie,

I will apply the red bottom

of these boots to your ass.

What are you talking about?
I'm just trying

to help her
launch her business.

Goldie is a pregnant woman

with a ten-year-old
and an ex who is not

out of the picture
and a grandmother

who you are dating!
And you call that "recovery"

and "integrity" and "honesty"?

Bitch, please.

Do you want to see honesty?

Come here. Look into this room.

This room... that is where
I'm learning to be of service

to people. That is why
I'm helping Goldie.

If you don't back up
off of Goldie,

I will tell her that you are

a love addict with
an agenda to get

into her elastic-waist pants.
Believe that.

You know what? It's time for you
to stop protecting Goldie

and start taking care
of yourself.

Ben, stop trying
to smell my hair.

You are so sick.

What is this?

That is a pinewood derby car.

I made it for you in Scouts
to say thank you.

It's your Range Rover.

Aw, you even put the little
steering wheel on the right.

How faithful to the pretentious
British engineering.

What are you thanking me for?

Well, without you, I don't know
if I would've had the courage

to be honest about who I am
with the Scout troop.

I was just a confused kid

when I joined the Scouts,

looking for something...
I don't even know what.

And what'd you find?

I found role models.

I found men that showed me
how to be the father

that I hope to become.

Something that my father
wasn't able to do.

You know,
when I joined the Scouts,

with all the other kids
and their fathers around,

it was like family.

I mean, that's why
I was scared to...

tell everybody that I was gay.
I mean, 'cause it...

felt like I was coming out
all over again.

Thank you for keeping me honest.

You're welcome.

But, David, why are there tiny
cigarette butts in the ashtray?

I'm just keeping you honest.

Uh-huh.

Oh, honey, you got a letter
from the Scouts today.

(water running)

Ooh.

(water stops running)

"...homosexual conduct..."

"...your Boy Scout membership
revoked."

Sorry, what'd you say?

Boy Hunger Games.

Scoutmaster David!

At ease, troop.

I'm just here for some
grown-up talk with your dads.

Come on. We're going
for our archery badges.

Show us how you do it.
(others agreeing)

I can't help you, boys.

I'm sorry.

What's up, D? BRYAN:
He calls you D?

(sighs) Someone reported me
to the Boy Scouts of America.

BRYAN: As an "avowed homosexual."
A term I admittedly love.

Makes me feel
like an old-fashioned gay

like Alexander the Great
or Jim Nabors.

DAVID:
I was kicked out.

I'm no longer an Eagle Scout.

What?
Can they even do that?

Look, I was honest with you guys
about who I am.

Just be honest with me about
which one of you reported me.

Me? Dude, come on.
I wish I could be gay.

So much more sex,
so much less listening.

I would never do that.

You guys were cool
as hell to us.

One of the kids probably told
their parents. I don't know.

FREDDIE: No one cares
about the gay thing.

The Scout board's
voting on it in May.

They're gonna shoot it down.

Probably.

Just hang with us
in the meantime.

HANK: No one cares
about any Scout rules.

You ever actually
read the manual?

Do I look fit of mind and body?

And don't get me started

on the self-abuse chapter.

FREDDIE:
For real.

What grown man would actually

want to live
by these principles?

I would.
David would.

Loyal,

trustworthy,

kind.

When the Scouts can live up to
the values that they taught me,

I'm happy to be of service.

How can you disrespect
the Scouts like this?

I thought you loved them.

I do.

But they don't respect
the way that I love.

Hi, Rocky.
I'll make this quick.

I don't like parking my car
in your neighborhood.

Brice is bad news.

I can't say how I know,

but he's a love predator.

Who, Brice? What are
you talking about?

He's only ever been nice to me.

Goldie, I know you're from Ohio,

but men have penises
in the Midwest, don't they?

Yes. Except for that man who
fell into his threshing machine.

Brice is trying to
take advantage of you.

You better watch your
back and your front.

But, in-in your case, your back.

Oh... Brice has been nothing
but a gentleman to me.

I mean, if anyone's taking
advantage of anyone, it's...

it's me.

(sighs) The truth is,

I think I have
a secret crush on Brice.

And the reason
he keeps coming over

is 'cause I keep making up
excuses to see him.

You have a computer problem?

I'm trying to come up
with a log-in password,

Uh-huh. And it keeps
calling it "weak."

It's really shaken
my confidence.

Oh, simple. Just think of
your favorite character

from literature and the age
you lost your virginity.

Ooh, I got it.

Garfield15.
(typing)

Please don't tell Nana or Brice.
This is the first time

I've admitted it to anyone,
including myself.

I'm gonna be
completely honest with you:

90 days ago,

I realized I was
spending my time

focusing on a man
instead of myself.

And that's what I'm starting
to see you do.

When you put it like that,
it kind of makes

the secret crush less fun.

Since I stopped worrying
about "he"

and started thinking about "me,"

I'm happier than
I've ever been.

I know. I've watched you grow.
You're amazing.

But... how did you know
that's what you needed to do?

I looked at you, and I said,

"If this dumb-ass Ohio girl
can make a great life

"and a successful business
out of nothing

by focusing on her family
and herself, so can I."

Aw. Rocky.

This Brice thing is just
a distraction from you.

It's not real.

And you are a miracle.

Aw.
(chuckles)

(doorbell rings)

Hey, David.

Oh... Scoutmaster Pat.

Come on in.

Um, I just wanted
to let you know

my son Kyle, uh,
quit the Scouts.

Said he didn't want to be
part of an organization

that discriminated
against men like you.

Well, that's... very brave.

That's exactly the kind
of Scout that they need.

In the spirit
of Scout's honor, I, uh...

I feel that you deserve
to know the truth:

I was the one who called
the national office about you.

Look, everyone knows
you're everything

an Eagle Scout should be.

But it's not just that.
You know, you're...

you're a successful doctor,

you have a beautiful home

and you have
a supportive partner...

you have it all.
And, uh...

and I want my son
to have it all, too.

Yes, well,
I'm sure that he will.

But I want him to have it all...

with a woman.

You are a perfect role model,

but the truth is

I don't want you to be
the role model for my son.

I'm no homophobe.
I like you.

My son loves you.

Ever since he met you,
he's done nothing

but talk about how great you are

and how he wants
to be just like you.

But I want him to be,

you know...

normal.

Well, thank you
for your honesty.

(sighs)

When I joined the scouts, the most coveted
badges you could earn were archery

and Indian lore.

Today, it's robotics
and nuclear medicine.

I know... equally cool, right?

No one can deny
the world is changing.

And in some ways,
the Scouts have proven

they can change with it.

So I'm going
to honor the oath I took

and use all the values
I learned:

Honesty, perseverance,
bravery and courage

to fight for change,
so that maybe one day,

I can help my son
earn his own badges.

Like the Scouts taught me:
Be prepared.

Because change is coming.

Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com