All language subtitles for FindingJoys02e01_2

Are you ready to be reborn?

ALL: Yes we are.

Defo!

Then step through the walls of the
vagina, baby first, placenta second.

Baby holding placenta's hand.

And become.

Lovely.

(quietly) ..placenta second. Lovely.

Slow. Hi guys, congratulations.

Gorgeous. Hi Mags, how are you? Baby
first, placenta second.

Eh, no placenta?

Oh, my placenta bailed on me.

Can I still be reborn?

Oh, well we don't recommend it.
You'll be lacking the nutrition.

I mean we could try?
Ehh.

Please?
Ohh...

No. (chuckles)
It's just it's kinda hard to a...

( makes beeping noise) back up the
birth canal.

(sighs) Ok, fine.

Be reborn.

# #

Look, what if you made a mistake?

Aidan, we've tried and tried to make
this work.

Look, I love you, you love me,

so why does it feel like it isn't
enough?

Maybe it isn't enough.

Look, I think it's best for us both
if we move on.

Now you are reborn. You feel
completely different, don't you?

That's 187 euro.

You can pay on your way out.

# #

Back in and back out, and back in
again. (laughing)

It's gas.
Stan!

I brought you along on my solo
freelance adventure

to help me build a brand, not to
watch me be born,

and unborn and reborn all over again.

That's not what I'm paying you for.
You're not paying me.

Exactly.

And why is that?
Because you've no money.

And why would that be Stan?

Because you left the job you
actually were being paid for.

And why would that be?
Ok,

I don't know the answer to that one.
Refreshing, well done Stan.

You make a beautiful baby Joy.
Aw, thank you Emer.

But it's also a major rebirth
metaphor.

Is it still a metaphor if that's
literally what's happening?

Yeah.
Yes?

100 percent of the audience are
gonna get this. Ok.

Guys, I got on board with this
paired back Joy,

2.0 set up because it's all about
control.

Ok? We need to reclaim our vaginas
from the patriarchy.

Absolutely. My penis is the worst.

Ok, and without further ado...

Are these bum wipes?

Wipes, yeah.

They're sponsoring this week's
rebirthing piece on your channel.

Sponsor, love that, so cool.

Yeah, a sponsor is cool but Emer,

do you think that we could get like
better... Sponsors?

Yeah.
Like, glowy skin care stuff?

Yeah, like eyelash serum.
Eyelash serum!

Eyebrow serum.
Eyebrow serum!

Face serum.
Face serum, absolutely.

Just get your subscriber numbers up.
Ok? No pressure.

Let's all hope you were reborn a
workaholic, Joy.

Cos we all need to get paid.

Otherwise it's curtains.

# #

(laughs)

Stan.
Yeah.

Oh my God Emer, look at this.

Yeah, I'm just gonna go.

Emer, look.
Joy.

I'm on this desk today.
Yeah, no. I know we did discuss it,

and I take your point that it's a
desk rotation space.

But I don't think that means that we
need to rotate the desks.

It's just that I've got an important
project on Joy,

and I'm under a bit of pressure, and
I need a desk.

This desk is rubbish.

If I sit here,

I've to go all the way over there to
pick up my photocopies.

And I've got 4 hours to find a way
of marketing scallions

in a sexy way that doesn't objectify
them.

Are they lady scallions?
Yes.

So I am under pressure.

Time is money.
Scallions are money.

Scallions, plus time divided by
money.

Oh my God, just kiss already.

The sexual tension's too much.

Emer.

There's literally no sexual tension.

STAN: Great.
Yeah Emer.

I mean it's not as if I've ended up
sharing a tiny office space

with someone I had a really awkward
one night stand with.

Bloody knew it.

Well isn't that Dublin for you guys.

She did say that she thought that it
was in, but like just for a minute.

Maybe less.
Emer.

Emer!
Sorry guys.

Emer.
What? Too much.

Ok next up, finding your roots.

Genealogy.
Nah, I don't wanna do that.

My mum is convinced

that her great-grandfather murdered a
couple of people from...

from the countryside.

Maybe they were farmers.
I'd say they were farmers.

Or shepherds. Shepherds or farmers I
guess.

I just feel that could get awkward
for old Joy face here.

What if we got a nice hair dye
sponsor link in?

You know, back to your roots.
You know,

that was so long ago and I'm obsessed
with roots.

I'll ask my mum if it's ok.
Why d'ya need to ask your mum?

Isn't your great-grandfather dead?

He's beyond dead.
Legally you're fine then I'd say.

Ok cool.
Ok thanks Karen,

if you could just...

So other challenges from the
viewers.

Yeah.
Wear a cat in a papoose. Shite.

Sing everything you say for a day.
Yes! Yeah.

# I'm walking down the street

# And now I'm going to the toilet #

Clearly doesn't work.

Em, play kiss chase with total
randomers on the street.

Ok, what I will say is that that is
just completely illegal

for adults under EU, on account that
is sexual assault.

And even worse than that,

I don't know if any of those hold the
key to lasting life long happiness.

Those are dares Emer.
My idea.

Ok.

# dramatic music #
School.

You're going back to your old school
Joy.

Oh my. Do you know,

I would love to go back to there.
Are you sure?

Yes I'm sure.
You don't sound sure.

Yes.
Great. Because it's an amazing idea.

Do you like eggs?
I like scrambled eggs.

Coming right up.

(laughter)

That's more like a fried egg.

I'm sorry, did I get your order
wrong?

No.

# #

Thanks Becky.

Did she just breathe?

(gagging)
For the DNA piece,

it's gonna take at least a week to
get the results back.

But for now, you're going back to
school. Yes. Yes!

(laughs)
Yes.

Facing your past, facing your future
everyone.

The new Joy 2.0, literally born
yesterday.

That's what this is about. More
subscribers,

and getting loads of free stuff.

Come on Philip!

Make scallions sexy again!

Yep.
Freelance legal Karen,

what have you got for me? Come on,
come on Karen!

Just trying to get a court
injunction over the line

in relation to child human slavery.

Come on.

I'd-I'd cut that.

I'm sorry, I don't control the
cards!

(sobbing)
It's not an exact science.

(sobbing loudly)

I told her her husband was never
gonna leave her.

Some people just don't wanna hear
the truth.

Speaking of which, hi landlady.

Hiya.
(tires screeching)

Oh, I also predicted difficulty
crossing the road to be fair.

She ok?
She'll be fine.

(sighs)

You know Christie,

if I had know that reading tarot was
your only source of income,

I might have been a little bit more
worried about

you being able to pay the rent.

And eating all my yoghurts!
What's in your future,

is me replacing them by tomorrow.
Promise.

Christie, being freelance is so hard.
I understand that. But I need rent.

And I really need my bifidus
actiregularis.

What's more important?

Yoghurt.

How 'bout I make it up to you by
reading your cards?

No, no way. No, absolutely no way.

Also, if my cards are bad I'm just
gonna follow you around the house

looking really sad and really worried
like this.

Ok, you've got a point there.

I've never lived with one of my
patients before.

You know the way you said patients
there,

you do know that tarots like not
medical. It is!

It's like when they say laughter is
the best medicine.

(inhales deeply)

That is a metaphor, Christie.

Next you'll be saying Dr. Phil is a
doctor, and not an actor.

Oh no, he is.

A doctor.
Huh?

Yeah, he's a head doctor.

Oh no wait, no maybe he's a really
good...

Is he an actor? Maybe he is an actor.

Is he an actor?
Ok,

so the key to understanding Dr. Phil
is in his name.

In fairness, there are some actors I
would let... Dr. Phil. ..examine me.

No, it's not actor Phil.

like George Clooney, only because...
Do you understand?

He has played a doctor. Anyway, that
is not the point.

Look, the future is your thing.

The present is my thing.

Dealing with the now! That's my
thing.

The now is looking a little low on
rent.

# #

See, look at you.

You handled that so well.

Beautiful.
George Clooney,

I would allow him give me a routine
examination.

Just like a standard smear.

Ah, don't be nervous Joy,
you'll be deadly.

I'm not nervous Stan, honestly.

You're wide of the mark there.
Pfft.

It's just like any public speaking,
you have to imagine them all naked.

Wait, it's a school, so...
children.

Maybe you're naked cos that's
not illegal.

For you to be naked.
In someone else's head.

Wait, if you're naked, in my head...
No...

You speak, I'm naked, you talk...
I'm the camera... Stan...

(LIGHT COUGHING IN AUDIENCE)

(HIGH PITCHED)
This is such an incredible honour...

(NORMAL VOICE)
This is such an incredible honour...

(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
...to be here.

I mean yeah, I get recognised on the
bus sometimes

and I'm like, guys, but I don't see
myself as a success

because of these things, but to be
invited back to your old school

it really feels like one of those,
'you've made it girl' moments.

Just to be clear, your producer
called us and asked could you come
back.

Said you'd be dynamic.

Said you'd be wise.

There's some lovely words there,
thank you.

Yes, so as you all know, my YouTube
channel is about Finding Joy,

an enjoyable pun for all you English
heads out there.

And I get it guys, being a teenager
is one of life's biggest challenges.

I'm with yis all, I'm on team
'you guys'.

Just last year I also faced a massive
upheaval and I overcame it

to set up my own business as an
online entrepreneur

and thankfully a l-l-lot of
subscribers.

Clara's channel has 1 million
subscribers.

Hey guys, hit me up for some top
tips on fashion, cooking, makeup and
interiors.

Interiors?
Interiors.

Well that's a lot of people but you
know I find that it's more about

qu-quantity, quality, oh quant...
hang on sorry,

quantity is what you have

but I think it's about quality so
basically what I'm saying is,

just keep trying guys, keep trying.

Except for you Clara, cos you could
nearly take your foot off the gas
there,

you're doing so much.

How do you even have time to study?
I mean... Nerd!

(LAUGHTER)

Sorry, old habits.

Or you know, a joke.

Yeah, let's call it a joke.

Continue.

Just some fun banter there between me
and Ms. Glynn.

Like the good old days, eh?

I have missed that Ms. Glynn.

Have you though?
(STUDENTS GIGGLE)

I really doubt that.
(STUDENTS LAUGH LOUDER)

(JOY FAKE LAUGHS)
Yes I have.

I have yeah, you've got a real crowd
going here.

Real mob, fair play to ye.
(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)

Em, I know that being a teenager is
a strange time.

People wrestling with their emotions,
their physical urges.

But I think it's really important not
to let these define you.

We have to reclaim our vaginas from
the patriarchy.

Are you volcel?
Yeah, no, loads of people are
volcel.

Yeah everyone is volcel.
It's the new thing.

Well yeah, I am exactly.

So what would be really cool at this
point is

if you could describe volcel for me
in your own words

for my subscriber base.

Voluntary celibacy.

People who don't have sex for
a year. (STUDENTS LAUGH)

Excellent.
(LAUGHS FEEBLY)

(STUDENTS LAUGH)

So yeah, I mean basically, it is
a challenge, it's going to...

...it is a challenge but I think that
challenges are good for your brain.

What will you do with all that
energy, Miss?

Well I think it's really important to
keep that energy for yourself,

you know just express it as self
care. Self love even.

Are you talking about wanking, Miss?
(STUDENTS LAUGH)

Well I guess that's one way
expressing self care.

We're not actually allowed to talk
about that without a consent form.

Well I think we should be teaching it
in classrooms, actually.

Masturbation?
(STUDENTS LAUGH)

< Will you teach us, Miss?

Yeah, help us 'Find Joy'.
(STUDENTS LAUGH)

That went well.

I'd say you're not used to being
outside the principals office,

are you Joy?

Oh no, Stan, you see, the thing about
me is, I was really bold.

I was bold to the bone.

Me and Becky Glynn, boldies.

Psst.

(WHISPERS)
What are you in for?

I got snared cartwheeling in the
corridor doing this cool move for
Becky and the guys.

But I clipped Mr. Murphy in the face
with my shoe. That's so cool.

What are you in for?

I didn't do anything, I just prefer
being in here than out there.

She loves me.

And to get out of hockey.

Hockey is so scary.

People charging at you with sticks.

Getting whacked on your kneecaps.

(TOGETHER)
Freezing cold hands.

(TOGETHER)
Jinx!

(BOTH LAUGH)

I'm Trish.
Joy.

You're both complete nerds.
Shush!

C'mere Joy, did you really mean that
stuff about becoming a nun?

Yeah, I've been thinking about it
for ages.

Such a co-incidence that it came
up today.

I'm so blessed.

Oh hey guys.

Adults are such knobs, guys.

Grownups are dicks.

I know, yeah(!)

This was so me, back in the day, at
the bike sheds.

It's OK if I scab a bit off you?

Ugh, school.

(INHALES TOO DEEPLY)

(COUGHS)

(MAKES VERY STRANGE NOISES)

(COUGHS)

(LAUGHS FEEBLY)

(HOARSELY)
Is it pommegranate or peach?

It's actually weed.

Pure THC.

Very strong.

Yes!

I was just thinking that I would like
that and now it's inside me.

Which is chill.

(WHISPERS)
Drugs!

Oh my God, sketch, sketch!

(GIDDY LAUGHING)

Oh my gosh that was so cailin dana!
(LAUGHS)

Stan, have you got any fizzy jellies?
I need fizzers.

Hey! Yeah maybe I did feel like
I had to try harder to fit in but

not anymore nun features!

Cos I've been reborn.

Do you see a nun?

No?

(SCREAMS)
Skkkeeetttccchhh!

Hiya burger guy!
< Hi.

So burgers with cheese and bacon and
thick cut fries and waffle fries

and crunchy fries.

Super size of all the drinks and
cheese on everything.

Nuggies, nuggies, I'll have 6
nuggies. OK. 12 nuggies.

Eh 24, 36 nuggets I guess. OK.

We'll literally see you in a second.
Yes you will! OK! OK. Thanks.

(LAUGHS)

Is it just you two? I thought there
was a rugby team coming through.

Is it just you two? I thought there
was a rugby team coming through.

Why would you think that I have
something to do with rugby?

Oh my God, look how high you are!

(LAUGHS)
Your eyes are like saucers!

You're like a cartoon stoner.

That doesn't even mean anything.
Nothing to you, grandma!

I'm actually not older than you!
You're fucking ancient!

I'm in a car, it ages me.

You think the lighting in here is
soft? Why are we fighting?

Would you like curry sauce?
Obviously!

(Fuck!)

Thank you.

Sorry!

(SIGHS)

I told her her mother in law was
going to survive. So...

Your flat mate is so...

...fascinating.

Hey, was that your friend Stan out
there? Yes, it was.

Oh my God, you should totally
tap that.

Yum.

I am his boss and I don't want to be
like Don Draper. Why not?

Also, I think he likes you.
Ah yeah(!)

Also, I'm volcel.
Voluntarily...

Celibate.

What will you do with all that
energy?

Why do people keep saying that?

(DOOR BELL RINGS)
Ah!

Oh my God!

I think he's called back for you!

This is so romantic!
I don't...

(GIGGLES)

Are you ready?
OK.

Ah!
(DISAPPOINTED) Oh.

Are there anymore babies in here?
No.

Is there loads and loads of wine?
Yeah.

Then get out of my way.

Oh!

I met you earlier, a past you.

Past me is dead.

Here, let me take your...
Take my baby Joy.

What are we watching?

Oh, Game of Thrones, it's pretty
violent and has a lot of shagging.

Um, Trish, yeah it is, it's over 18s
so in front of the baby...

I'm actually looking for ideas on
how to kill my husband

so it's kind of perfect.

Turn it up.
OK.

I'm just hoping that they have sex
symbols with leaky boobs

and stitched vaginas because we are
under represented on the screen.

Sorry, am I being too loud?

Hmm? No.

Where's that wine that I've heard so
much about?

Oh Trish, should you be drinking wine
with your sexy leaky boobs?

I'm bottle feeding now.
Yeah? Absolutely.

And this is the only thing I've
watched this week

apart from 5 little ducks and I am
sorry but that story is crap.

Every duck going over the hill,
so repetitive.

And the mother duck never learns.

Every duck!
Like, come on!

Yeah.

I feel amazing now.

I've been through a sort of
a rebirthing process myself.

I think what Joy is trying to say
is, why don't you go upstairs

and have a nice long bath.
Yeah.

Go and run a bath Joy.
Oh, absolutely.

Make sure it's the fancy bubbles!
< Yeah! OK.

(BABY CRIES)

And I will exercise everything I've
learned from watching

Hollywood Nanny on E and I will get
you to sleep. OK? OK.

Who runs the bath? Girls?
Who runs the bath? Girls!

Also dogs, ladies please.

The only wrinkles I wish I had more
of, bath wrinkles.

Oh let me read your palm.

Oh my God you're going to have 7
more kids you mentalist.

Oh. Jokes!

I'm way better at cards, let me do
your cards.

Oh not a chance, I've had a bath and
a litre of wine and I don't need

anyone telling me that a bus is
going to drive into my face.

Go on then, I'll do it.
Ah, yes!

Oh my God Joy, you're going to go on
a journey!

So generic!

You're going to meet a person from
a far away land.

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Mmm.

Ooh, someone's going to have
a threesome.

Well I'm volcel so
(IN FRENCH) impossible!

(EERIE MUSIC)

Oh go on, I know this one.
Death card.

Everyone always freaks out about it
but it's really good isn't it?

No, you're thinking about the
reaper card.

No, this is the death card.
This is bad.

Someone close to you is going
to die.

(EERIE MUSIC CONTINUES)

(LAUGHS)

Come on Christie, I believe in
actual science.

Things like the Bermuda Triangle
and stuff.

(EERIE MUSIC)

(BABY CRIES)
I'll get it!

# THEME TUNE #

Subtitles:
RTE 2020