Original subtitles

["Kids Are Ok" playing]

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, hey… ♪

It was Daequan? Oh my God.

[mysterious instrumental music playing]

So I knew they had something going on last spring.

When I saw they had feelings for each other, I was like,

"Really? Those two?"

I wanted to tell you because you've always been a great friend to me.

We became really close

since probably second grade?

But things have fizzled out and we haven't been the same.

I'm fine with that.

Has he supported you through the process?

I feel like it's him that's the bitter one.

It makes it hurt more. It's like, "Fuck you!"

After the abortion…

I was really sad and grieving.

I'd text him and he'd be like, "Sorry, I'm at a party" or "I'm on a road trip."

All while I was bed-ridden.

It was tough.

Do you feel uneasy about the decision?

Or no regrets?

I do feel guilty. I feel awful.

I remember sitting in the clinic

and thinking, "I can't believe this is really happening to me."

I didn't think it ever would. I don't know, it was surreal.

["Ghosts Still Haunt Me" playing]

Well, thank you for sharing.

Thank you.

Gallaudet is really small.

So once something happens, it spreads.

Mistakes and rumors get out with no way to fix it.

I don't know.

I wish them both the best.

["Crush On U" playing]

♪ All right, all right ♪

♪ All right, all right ♪

♪ All right, all right ♪

When I get in the tub, I know it's gonna be cold.

And I know my balls will be the coldest part.

If I get in fast, the shock wears off

and I can just breathe.

I'm fine as long as my balls aren't touched.

Rodney, look.

Get in!

I'm not getting in.

Dalton!

Whoooo!

[repeating] I hate

the ice bath.

What's up with that hearing girl from the club?

[electronic beat playing]

I'm not really interested in hearing girls.

When we moved to Texas and I started going to a deaf school

I saw deaf culture all around me.

I said, "screw it" and flushed my hearing aid in the toilet.

You flushed it?

My mom asked where they were, I said, "I flushed them down the toilet."

Shit…

I'm sorry, but that's some white people stuff right there.

He could have just left it on the desk or something.

He flushed down 1,000 dollars.

If I flushed 1,000 dollars down the toilet…

Think about my mom.

And she's a Black mom.

I'm getting out. You get in.

Okay, I'll get in. One time, then I'm gone.

You have to go up to your neck.

Shit.

Ah!

[Dalton laughs]

He might be the whiniest baby ever.

Wait!

Dry off first!

What's the latest with Cheyenna?

We're fine, there's nothing really stopping us.

But we know it's better to take it slow.

I think you'd work great as a couple.

Oh, I know, I agree with you, but at the same time, understand,

I'm a natural flirt. I just am.

So sometimes I say things

that she wouldn't appreciate.

She's playing hard to get, which is fine. But, like,

I think she's more…

analyzing me right now, you know?

See where we go from there.

["Whenever, Wherever, Whatever" playing]

[Daequan] Where do you want to sit? Want to sit right there?

On Abraham Lincoln?

No! [laughs]

This is, like, my first time coming this close.

Starving!

What is that?

Garlic sauce.

-Okay, calm down. -Nah.

It'll make my mouth smell awful.

You always smell awful, it's fine.

That's one.

How many strikes do I get tonight?

-One. -Only one?

Finished.

Raelynn…

she's not like other deaf girls on campus.

She's just down-to-earth

and I can be myself without having to watch my mouth.

When I first met you, you were with someone.

Then, like, I used to always tell you that you would fall in love with me.

And you would always tell me, "No." And then, like--

And now we're here eating pizza on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial!

History, like, MLK was right here.

"I have a dream that one day…"

You have a dream?

Yeah, he was talking about us.

He had a dream: "One day all the Black boys will get a white girl."

I think that rum and coke is starting to hit me.

Damn!

I'm from Minnesota.

There's nothing to do there, so we drink.

Hell, no.

At least give me a kiss.

It's now or never.

Come on, baby. Give me a kiss.

["Feel Alive" playing]

[interviewer] Does she know what happened between you and Alexa?

Yeah, like I'm not telling…

I'm not telling her about nothing that happened with me and Alexa,

but soon as she see this shit, she's gonna know, so…

["Clap Happy" playing]

Wait, shh… do you have a bag or purse?

Underwear!

I have a small and a medium.

You got two?!

I don't know what size you are!

Well, I do need more underwear.

Hold it in your pocket.

Please don't get mad at me, but…

I set you up on a blind date.

Wait…what?

My mom is 900 percent invested in my dating life.

["On the Other Side" playing]

Is that another guy you dated?

Yeah, the guy who got me pregnant.

You still keep in touch?

Once in a while.

So you're on good terms?

You…

are going through what I went through.

My mom gave birth to my brother, Cody, when she was 22.

I went through the same thing at the same age.

But I just decided not to go through with it.

I feel like I have that…

generational curse.

I think you're attracted to bad boys.

Pretty much.

They're fun.

They're fun now, but in 30 years…

Like, I just had a date using the videophone.

Conversation starts off normal…

then sex talk!

What does that mean, like, show your vagina?

Another guy said, "Show me your boobs!"

I think it's natural to talk about sex.

And that's okay?

How else would you know what he likes?

So like, "Oh, I like having sex on the hood of a car"?

Or "Let's do it in the trees"?

It's a different generation. Get on board.

[Alexa laughs]

["What I Want" playing]

♪ Today be the day That I'm going top shelf ♪

♪ Cheesin' ear to ear Can't even stop myself ♪

♪ Tell me if u feel me Tryin' to live my life ♪

♪ Ah yeah Imma turn up tonight… ♪

Soon I will launch my own first official recipe.

That's coming in a few weeks.

When you do, let me know so I can have a glass.

Zane…

he's my man.

He has a dream lifestyle that I envy.

He gets up at 4 a.m. to go make beer.

As long as I have a beer in my hand, I'm all good. Simple as that.

How's your dating life?

My last relationship lasted six years.

Six?!

Being single is nice, but different. I feel like I forgot stuff.

-I'm bad at the pickup game. I'm rusty. -[Dalton laughs]

I need to spray myself all over with WD-40.

Your whole body, spray those pickup lines everywhere!

You got anything going on?

Not exactly, but…

Alexa.

Yeah.

She's cute.

I think she's hot!

I said cute, but I meant to say hot.

Alexa, I've always thought she was hot and cute.

I've gotten to know her a little more lately and enjoy talking to her.

I know she's a Pisces…

and my mom is a Pisces too.

My mom is very intense, so they have that in common.

I have a weakness for blond hair and blue eyes.

I've always loved that.

-Does that mean you're weak for me? -[Dalton laughs] Please! Not you!

[electronic pop playing]

♪ Don't want to wake up ♪

♪ In a world turned upside down ♪

One night when me, Daequan and some friends were partying,

very late at night…

we had a good time

then he slipped, like, "I did it on purpose."

That he got me pregnant on purpose.

I…

I lost my shit.

I've never raged so hard before.

♪ Kick and scream ♪

♪ And shout ♪

♪ Keep tearing these walls down ♪

No one in their right mind would do that at our age.

We're trying to figure out our own lives and to try to have another life?

I feel like…

he has no family, so he was hoping that I would be his family.

But…

why me?

Yeah.

["High By Your Side" playing]

♪ Too many people Only do what they're told ♪

♪ Too many people Never out of control ♪

♪ It took a little while To cover my eyes… ♪

[interviewer] Put your phone away.

♪ Out of the blue There's a light passing by ♪

♪ But I know that it's waiting for you ♪

♪ Yeah I know that it's waiting for you ♪

What's up?

Thanks for meeting me.

I wanted to talk to you about something serious.

About "the thing."

I heard you told Tessa.

I wish it was more private.

That it stayed between us.

Yeah, but when it happened, you refused to support me, so…

I kept texting you and texting you

again and again!

I had to make money.

What?

All the money I got, I got to pay you back for the abortion.

I didn't care about the money, I cared about your support.

I'm sorry, I was dumb.

I hate discussing things that make me feel, like…

weird inside.

That's why I never get the girl because when it's time to express myself,

I don't.

All this had an impact on me too.

I feel like my heart breaks a little when I think about it.

So I go out and party, or I smoke…

so I don't have to think about it.

Alexa decided to have the abortion.

But I didn't want to do that, of course.

Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.

But of course, sometimes I wish we had the baby.

["Passing Through Me" playing]

I want to heal from this and close this chapter

fully shut.

But every time…

I try to close it,

it comes back open.

And I feel sad again.

How do you feel?

I think about…

what could have been.

I think the baby would've been beautiful.

I have really…

feminine features.

So I think he would've been a really cute baby.

With long eyelashes.

I just hate that

that's how it had to end between us.

[emotional piano music playing]

I mean, like…

I loved you, like, you were my first love.

I can see us developing feelings again fast.

I don't think…

not to be arrogant or anything,

but I don't think so.

I think Alexa is beautiful.

I can tell you that right now.

And she has a beautiful mind.

But I know I'm not the person for her.

Are you over me?

I'll always have love for Alexa.

Of course.

["Delicate" playing]

♪ It's hard ♪

♪ We are delicate ♪

♪ Watchin' screens Glowin' in the darkness ♪

♪ The only thing I’m waiting for with you ♪

♪ Search for some truth on madness ♪

♪ Every lie I told It's true ♪

♪ So is it what I heard ♪

♪ Are we really that far gone ♪

♪ I feel it running through my hands ♪

♪ You can't tell me nothing's wrong ♪