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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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- _
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Locker sweep day.
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Unleash hell, Ralph Durbin.
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You should look scared.
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Firecrackers. Detention.
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Metal compasses?
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Hand over the math knives, Wolverine.
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- Ah!
- Oh!
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Ugh.
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Ew.
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Hey!
13
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:53,217
Give me the vape, Kasperak!
14
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,633
Detention.
15
00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:12,570
Kristina Yamaguchi, these
hallways get longer every year.
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Son of a...
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"Berry Crunch"?
18
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Ooh. Oh, that's nice.
19
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One, two, three, four!
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I thought teachers were smart.
21
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You just hold up an item,
22
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and you go, "What picture
does this look like?"
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And then you put it in there.
24
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Oh.
25
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:59,283
Um, "Oops".
26
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,719
- You missed.
- Yeah.
27
00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:04,822
Yep, that's all right, though.
Somebody always gets them.
28
00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:07,208
Yeah, I get them! Me!
29
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,460
What? No!
30
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:11,921
Hans, I thought you did,
uh, leaves and windows,
31
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,464
and Dale did toilets and trash.
32
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Huh.
33
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:18,369
Okay, well, seems as if
I owe you one of these.
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Go to sleep.
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Go to sleep.
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Go to sleep. Shh.
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All right, everybody, mouth holes shut.
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Ear holes open.
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00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:42,760
This morning, I received
a very lovely letter
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on this, uh, very graphic,
naked-angel-baby stationery.
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- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes, Anthony.
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00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,769
These angel buns herald for you.
43
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"Dear Mr. Griffin,
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I'm writing to thank you
45
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,375
for all the after-hours biology tutoring
46
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,377
you are providing for my grandson.
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Anthony is truly blessed
to have you shepherd him
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00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,882
on his journey,
49
00:03:02,884 --> 00:03:05,883
while the sweet Baby
Jesus carries you both".
50
00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:08,386
It goes on like this for pages.
51
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:09,989
Oh, there's a part here where, um,
52
00:03:09,991 --> 00:03:13,891
she thanks Jesus for saving
the baby on "Days of Our Lives".
53
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And then it ends with a
recipe for turkey chili.
54
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:17,795
I'm sorry.
55
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,697
Are you teaching Anthony biology?
56
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,501
Well, zam zaddy, if
cash is what you need...
57
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,968
Kaspy would love to get down
on a private tutoring sesh.
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00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:26,404
Ugh.
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00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,339
Heather, give me a hot one.
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00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:29,841
Yeah.
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00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:35,380
"If Marcus was a shoe, he'd be an Ugg".
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00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,914
Ooh!
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00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:40,551
So I'd get to hug Rachael
Ray's feet all day?
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00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,421
Well, yummo.
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00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:48,860
No, listen, I'm not teaching
biology to anybody, okay?
66
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,696
It appears that Anthony has
been using my good name
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00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:54,432
to lie to his own grandma...
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00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,601
which means your finally
learning something from me.
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00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:59,470
I mean, you spend so much time
kowtowing to your grandmas
70
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:01,706
and your piano teachers
and your orthodontists.
71
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,975
I mean, don't you realize
these people are all idiots?
72
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,810
My orthodontist won "Jeopardy!"
73
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,779
Mine too.
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00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,548
Uh, well, that's got to be
the same person. I mean...
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00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,784
All right, Anthony, tell us.
76
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,719
What classic teenage hooliganism
77
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,788
are you getting up to behind
your grandma's back, huh?
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00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,291
I'd rather not say.
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00:04:18,293 --> 00:04:20,458
All secrets are safe with us, Anthony,
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00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:23,428
e.g., I use women's antiperspirant.
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00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,729
I have a parasitic twin.
82
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,731
It's just a mass of
teeth and hair really.
83
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:27,873
It's in a jar at home.
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00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,602
That felt pretty vulnerable,
85
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,938
and I'd love if someone looked at me.
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00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:38,009
Please.
87
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,610
Dan?
88
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,680
I can't, man. I just can't.
89
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:44,283
All right, Anthony.
90
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:47,752
What are you pulling over on
old Granny Angelbutts, huh?
91
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,989
No?
92
00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:54,425
Oh, well, then the game is afoot.
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00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,494
Yummo.
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00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,630
What are you talking about?
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00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,899
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
96
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:04,702
It's time to dine.
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00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:05,770
Mmm.
98
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,477
Pow.
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00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:15,646
Excuse me, Dave. What's this?
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00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,482
Oh.
101
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,616
Bonjour Mouse?
102
00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:21,686
Mrs. Harper's gonna sew his
little beret back on for me.
103
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:22,953
So that's your stuffed mouse?
104
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,022
Yepper.
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00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,074
My parents brought it
back from Nova Scotia
106
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,793
- in the late '80s.
- Dave, get out.
107
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,563
But my Birds Eye steamed
veggie medley's in the microwave.
108
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,663
- Get out!
- The lady said, "Get out!"
109
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:33,731
- I'll fork you!
- Out, Dave.
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00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:35,867
All right. Boy, howdy.
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00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,535
Out.
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00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:39,337
Now, you know I love clowning on Dave,
113
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,072
but why are we mad at him, again?
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00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:44,484
Remember the clinic gave me a
photo of my donor as a child?
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00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,947
- Oh!
- Bonjour Mouse.
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00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:50,982
Wha...
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00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,950
Girl, I need you to stop immediately,
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'cause it sounds like you're saying
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00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,621
that Geology Dave is your baby's daddy.
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00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,089
- Mm-hmm.
- Don't say that.
121
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:01,276
Uh, I'm sure that a lot of
people have hand-sewn mice
122
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:02,694
- from 1980s Nova Scotia.
- Yeah.
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00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,729
I don't want my baby to be a doofus.
124
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Oh, it won't.
125
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:06,993
- No.
- It's gonna be okay.
126
00:06:06,995 --> 00:06:09,500
A royal request!
127
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,703
Might I have my veggies?
128
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,104
See? Do you see what I'm talking about?
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00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:16,074
It seems as though they are overcooked.
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00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,942
- Dave, get out!
- Yep.
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Dang.
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- Aah!
- Start squeaking, geek.
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00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,687
Where'd you get the juice
for your fruit flute?
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00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,122
Come on!
135
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,758
Who puts the berry tang
in your smoke thang?
136
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,526
I'm sorry, I don't know these words.
137
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,096
Stop playing dumb.
138
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,064
Where'd you get the vape?
139
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,872
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
140
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:49,841
I feel like we're too close.
Let's drop back a little.
141
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,743
Sorry, this is my first
time stalking a child.
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00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,077
Yeah.
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00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:58,049
Oh, my God.
144
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,491
Is sweet baby Anthony doing drugs?
145
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,087
Go.
146
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:11,729
Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's way worse than that.
147
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,567
Neanderthal gymnastics.
148
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,011
Yeah!
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00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,847
One, two, three!
150
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,049
That's it!
151
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,185
Here is your winner,
152
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,021
Delilah Doom!
153
00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:38,956
And now it is time
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00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,994
for the TTSW main event!
155
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,799
Making his way to the ring,
156
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,935
Tennessee Ronnie Log!
157
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:56,074
Yeah, who wants to log in, baby?
158
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,913
Yeah. Ha ha.
159
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:04,015
Yeah!
160
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,117
Aah! Ha ha.
161
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:17,095
You know, you... you can't
take that home, right?
162
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,080
- He gave it to me.
- It's got bugs in it.
163
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,209
But he gave it to me.
164
00:08:20,211 --> 00:08:23,701
And his opponent, the King of Diamonds,
165
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:26,738
Deznel Midnight!
166
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,711
Oh. Anthony's the star of the show.
167
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,853
Is that Hans?
168
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,122
The janitor?
169
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:50,962
Loyal subjects of Toledo,
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00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,698
your King of Diamonds is here tonight
171
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,099
to do two things...
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00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,135
kick some booty
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00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,771
and meet some cuties.
174
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:04,426
I'm gonna pummel this
here cretin before me!
175
00:09:04,428 --> 00:09:06,844
Take him back to the woods from...
176
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:09,113
Oh. Okay, Donna.
177
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,015
Oh, thank you. Uh, quick announcement.
178
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:14,427
"The annual parish coat
drive ends this Wednesday.
179
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:17,263
Let's b-b-b-body-slam homelessness
180
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,757
with a new or gently used coat.
181
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:22,101
Donation bin is located outside
182
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,896
Pastor J-J-Jeff's office".
183
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,131
Footstool! Footstool!
184
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,801
Time for me to put my royal feet up.
185
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:34,305
Footstool! Footstool!
Footstool! Footstool!
186
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:37,108
Footstool! Footstool! Footstool...
187
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:42,213
- This is bad.
- Yeah.
188
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:45,783
He's not a wrestler.
He's a... he's a prop.
189
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:48,720
Footstool, Footstool...
190
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,229
I already told them everything.
191
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:01,099
No need for a grand speech
about how stupid wrestling is.
192
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,333
- Okay?
- Okay.
193
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,436
But it is stupid.
194
00:10:03,438 --> 00:10:04,538
It's so stupid.
195
00:10:04,540 --> 00:10:07,372
It's all costumes and
over-the-top characters
196
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,240
- and melodrama, it's...
- Yes.
197
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,109
It is everything I am.
198
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,810
Look...
199
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:14,278
if you guys are ever gonna use me
200
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,817
to, like, live a secret life,
201
00:10:15,819 --> 00:10:17,424
then it's got to be for
something badass, you know?
202
00:10:17,426 --> 00:10:20,385
Not being a footstool
for a high-school janitor.
203
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:23,021
He may be a janitor in
here, but in the ring,
204
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,824
he's a legend.
205
00:10:24,826 --> 00:10:27,272
Hans is doing me a favor by
taking me on as his protégé.
206
00:10:27,274 --> 00:10:29,504
Okay, so what's the plan?
207
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:33,398
I want to be the baddest
daddy to ever walk that aisle.
208
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,636
I want long hair.
209
00:10:36,638 --> 00:10:38,605
I want to always look kind of wet.
210
00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:42,407
I want crowds of thousands
to chant my name.
211
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,176
Luther Phoenix: Bird of Pain.
212
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,844
Ka-kaw!
213
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:49,414
Call me Danny Zuko,
'cause I just got chills,
214
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,149
and they are multiplying.
215
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,985
Better shape up, Anthony.
216
00:10:52,987 --> 00:10:54,021
Okay, well, where was
217
00:10:54,023 --> 00:10:56,821
Luther Phoenix: Bird of
Pain Ka-kaw last night?
218
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,891
Hans thinks it's stupid.
219
00:10:58,893 --> 00:11:00,694
The guy's clearly all ego.
220
00:11:00,696 --> 00:11:02,413
Just come up with a name that, like,
221
00:11:02,415 --> 00:11:04,537
complements his King
of Diamonds persona.
222
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:07,031
You know, something like Aces Wild.
223
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:09,133
Oh, whoa!
224
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,835
Aces Wild.
225
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,203
Yeah.
226
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,549
Ah, man.
227
00:11:13,551 --> 00:11:15,840
Look at that. I nailed
it on my first try.
228
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,943
Uh, why would an ace be
wild? It's the best card.
229
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:20,311
Mm, well, don't do that.
230
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,914
Maybe we spend a little more time on it.
231
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,148
Uh...
232
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,726
Perhaps Tony Flamingo,
233
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,251
The Two of Hearts
would pique his interest.
234
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,921
He may be wearing a
glamorous feather boa,
235
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,856
but his legs are lethal weapons.
236
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:32,858
Ha!
237
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,127
Mm, I like it.
238
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,929
Tony Flamingo.
239
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,198
Mm, yeah, well, okay. We tried.
240
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,267
You know, but it looks like
241
00:11:41,269 --> 00:11:43,167
ain't nothing ever gonna beat Aces Wild.
242
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:45,269
Okay.
243
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,071
Okay.
244
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:50,141
So you two read thoroughly
through my donor's profile.
245
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,342
Yes, and there's no way
246
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,412
that Dave's a 1/8
Colombian marble sculptor.
247
00:11:53,414 --> 00:11:55,346
The dude wears infinity scarves.
248
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:56,782
- I think you're fine, okay?
- Okay.
249
00:11:56,784 --> 00:11:58,633
Your donor said he
plays the flamenco guitar.
250
00:11:58,635 --> 00:11:59,887
I mean, this is not Dave.
251
00:11:59,889 --> 00:12:02,053
Okay, well, just keep it
subtle, ladies, all right?
252
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,849
- Oh, here he comes. Here he comes.
- Okay.
253
00:12:03,851 --> 00:12:05,723
Dave! Hey, bud.
254
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,358
You know, why don't you
come and eat with us?
255
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,729
We saved you a spot right there.
256
00:12:08,731 --> 00:12:11,095
O... kay. Cool.
257
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,817
Oh, shoot. The dang microwave's broken?
258
00:12:13,819 --> 00:12:15,152
I brought a Healthy Boy Kale Gnocchi.
259
00:12:15,154 --> 00:12:17,101
- Now I can't eat it.
- So whiny.
260
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,303
- I cannot. I can't.
- Oh, God.
261
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,973
So what's the scoopin', Mary Poopins?
262
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,975
I'm not gonna make it.
263
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:27,412
Um, what's scoopin' is that
I'm taking a sculpture class.
264
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:30,248
Have you ever sculpted anything, Dave?
265
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,016
Oh, yeah. I'm a marble sculptor.
266
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,819
Yeah, in fact, just this morning,
267
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,087
I was in the studio
gluing marbles together.
268
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,390
Uh, three white ones
make a snowman sculpture.
269
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,928
Five green ones,
270
00:12:40,930 --> 00:12:43,394
that's a pretty cool caterpillar.
271
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,229
Six green ones in a clump...
272
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:47,398
now you're looking at a pile of peas.
273
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,019
No. No, no, no.
274
00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:51,169
I mean, marble sculpting
is supposed be, like,
275
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:52,537
chiseling stone.
276
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:55,406
You did a preschool craft.
277
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:58,443
Would a preschooler be
able to do this, Stefanie?
278
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:02,280
Yep, yep, yep.
279
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,381
Dropped it.
280
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,149
Just curious, Dave...
281
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:08,052
can you play this guitar?
282
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:10,154
Oh, well, I mean, I dabble, but...
283
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:12,957
A little dab will do ya.
284
00:13:18,903 --> 00:13:21,265
♪ Barcelona ♪
285
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,671
Get out, Dave! Out now.
286
00:13:25,673 --> 00:13:27,238
You know who actually
taught me that song?
287
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,764
It was mi abuelita from Colombia.
288
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:30,041
- Get out!
- Scram!
289
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,010
Yep, all right. Just gonna grab this...
290
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,445
Mm, I'll get it later.
291
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:37,183
I am unmoored. I can't.
292
00:13:37,185 --> 00:13:40,585
Okay, listen, I know the
evidence is devastating,
293
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,281
but the only way you're gonna find out
294
00:13:42,283 --> 00:13:43,717
if you're having Dave's dumb baby
295
00:13:43,719 --> 00:13:46,413
is to see a photo of him as a
toddler and compare it to this.
296
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,262
We're going to Morenci tonight, honeys.
297
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,431
Mama just got to take the edge off.
298
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,166
Mama got to get normal.
299
00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,504
Hey, Helen.
300
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,406
I forgot to...
301
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,976
thank you for...
302
00:14:03,978 --> 00:14:07,145
a good day and wish
you a pleasant evening.
303
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,547
Hmm.
304
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:13,484
Aren't you gonna tell me
305
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,386
to sleep like a cricket in a mitten?
306
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,321
Mm-hmm.
307
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:20,158
No? Hmm.
308
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,527
Oh, hey, you know, uh,
309
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,629
probably never gonna hang this up.
310
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:28,032
- I think I'm gonna throw this poster out.
- _
311
00:14:29,804 --> 00:14:31,636
Any objections?
312
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,372
No!
313
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,507
It's a miracle of life.
314
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,276
You're vaping, Helen?
315
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,445
It's Berry Crunch, Ralph,
316
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:43,247
and for two or three minutes,
it makes me feel like a god.
317
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,186
Come with me.
318
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,330
Mm.
319
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,432
Permission to speak, Your Majesty.
320
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,534
Make it quick, Footstool.
321
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:04,837
I think I'm ready to become
322
00:15:04,839 --> 00:15:07,405
the legendary Deznel
Midnight's right-hand man.
323
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,675
King of Diamonds, meet
your new partner...
324
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:14,207
Tony Flamingo, The Two of Hearts.
325
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,649
I fed you like a baby bird for months,
326
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:22,453
just regurgitating and
regurgitating my knowledge,
327
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:25,289
and now you're coming for my throne?
328
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,191
You look ridiculous.
329
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,563
But Mr. Griffin thinks I'm ready.
330
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:35,466
That's who's spitting in your mouth now?
331
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:38,369
The man who can't even
properly dispose of an apple?
332
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,438
You put your footstool costume on.
333
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,241
You're lucky I still want
to put my feet up on you.
334
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,319
Yeah!
335
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:56,521
Timber.
336
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:59,757
Timber, timber, timber, timber!
337
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:03,494
Timber, timber, timber, timber!
338
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,566
One, two, three!
339
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,234
- Winner!
- Yes!
340
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,637
This is the best day of my life!
341
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,975
Introducing to you first,
342
00:16:14,977 --> 00:16:17,214
he is the King of Diamonds...
343
00:16:17,216 --> 00:16:19,610
Deznel Midnight!
344
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,650
Okay, all right, here we go, Anthony.
345
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,557
You're in my kingdom now,
346
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:36,461
and I say off with his head.
347
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:45,269
Donna.
348
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:51,242
By royal decree,
349
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,412
I declare that I'm gonna...
350
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:57,648
Donna, I asked you if you had anything.
351
00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,284
Uh, church announcement.
352
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:02,553
"The Wilson family thanks
you for your sympathy
353
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,689
and asks that in lieu of flowers,
354
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:08,393
you send", what I assume is
supposed to say "casserole".
355
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,294
"Casserole" has two S's, Donna.
356
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,363
"Let's b-b-b-body slam
357
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,565
this memorial service".
358
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,534
My royal hounds are barking!
359
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,369
Where is my footstool?
360
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,572
Footstool! Footstool!
Footstool! Footstool!
361
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,841
Where is that peasant?
362
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:26,277
- Come forth!
- Give me this!
363
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,312
Ah, shut up.
364
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:29,994
Anthony's not a footstool, okay?
365
00:17:29,996 --> 00:17:32,517
He's better than this.
He's better than you.
366
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,585
You know what? He's better than all you!
367
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,822
- You suck.
- You suck.
368
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,591
And you're all just a
bunch of cousin-kissin',
369
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,527
river-swimmin',
370
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,646
Code Red-drinkin', Walmart-shoppin',
371
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:46,831
Rascal-scootin',
372
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,599
Natural Light-funnelin'
373
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,368
garbage monsters!
374
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:51,602
You suck!
375
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,771
Hey, who the hell are you?
376
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,873
I'm Aces Wild!
377
00:17:59,154 --> 00:18:01,479
- That name sucks, dude.
- The name is good.
378
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,847
The name is solid.
379
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:04,816
You can not like me, but
don't say the name is bad,
380
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,218
because the name itself...
381
00:18:06,220 --> 00:18:08,220
You don't belong here.
Get out of my kingdom!
382
00:18:08,222 --> 00:18:09,687
Give me this, give me
this, give me... just...
383
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:10,755
Aah, aah!
384
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,424
Go to sleep. Go to sleep.
385
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,470
Come on.
386
00:18:15,472 --> 00:18:17,762
There's no tickling in wrestling.
387
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,365
- I don't watch wrestling.
- Come on, J.G.!
388
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,849
You want to tickle, huh? How about that?
389
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,022
How about that? How about that?
390
00:18:23,024 --> 00:18:24,300
Are they tickling each other?
391
00:18:24,302 --> 00:18:25,503
How about that?
392
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,338
Yeah!
393
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,313
Throw yourself down the stairs.
394
00:18:34,315 --> 00:18:36,071
You're killing yourself
slowly with this crud,
395
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,415
so just get it over with.
396
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,318
The worst I can do is
break an ankle, sir.
397
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,043
Well, every time you take a hit of this,
398
00:18:42,045 --> 00:18:44,180
you break an ankle in your lungs.
399
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:46,357
I don't want to break
my lung ankles, sir.
400
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,492
Oh, you don't want to break them?
401
00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:48,793
Well, you're still doing it, aren't you?
402
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,928
You're doing it! Look at me.
403
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,530
You're vaping Berry Crunch.
404
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:56,601
Okay.
405
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,336
What? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
406
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,472
Oh, my God.
407
00:18:59,474 --> 00:19:01,472
No, I didn't... I didn't
actually want you to do that.
408
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,508
- Oh.
- That was...
409
00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:04,809
- supposed to scare you.
- Oh, you did.
410
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,577
You did. No more Berry Crunch.
411
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:09,781
I promise. You scared me straight.
412
00:19:09,783 --> 00:19:14,419
I mean, I'm still gay as a
tiger in a trundle bed, but...
413
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,653
Whoo!
414
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,522
No more cereal smoke. Mm-mm.
415
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:19,357
Thank you, Ralph, sir.
416
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,592
Thank you.
417
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,697
You suck! You suck!
418
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:34,972
I was once a lowly footstool
419
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,007
who dreamed he could be a flamingo
420
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,843
that soared above the heavens.
421
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,679
My dreams were thrown
in the trash by you,
422
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,648
Deznel Midnight!
423
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:46,984
But from the ashes of filth,
424
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,687
I am reborn!
425
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,290
Behold!
426
00:19:51,292 --> 00:19:52,968
I am Trash Phoenix,
427
00:19:52,970 --> 00:19:54,992
and I am here to take your throne,
428
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,894
King of Diamonds!
429
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,999
♪ Come on now, come on now ♪
430
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,767
♪ Come on now ♪
431
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,836
- You're beautiful!
- Trash Phoenix!
432
00:20:04,838 --> 00:20:06,938
You don't scare me.
433
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,852
How did you know the
key was in that rock?
434
00:20:20,854 --> 00:20:23,019
Well, it was the only rock
with a price tag on it.
435
00:20:24,024 --> 00:20:26,758
My baby gonna be stupid.
436
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:27,859
Yo. Over here.
437
00:20:27,861 --> 00:20:30,795
Oh, it's him.
438
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,697
I'm carrying a Dave.
439
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:34,499
How am I gonna love it?
440
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:35,600
You're not.
441
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,468
Hey. None of us will.
442
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:38,936
Oh.
443
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,838
I guess I left the door open.
444
00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,343
Oh, thanks for driving, babe.
445
00:20:44,345 --> 00:20:46,955
That whiskey-glazed chicken
gets me tipsy every time.
446
00:20:46,957 --> 00:20:48,912
- I know.
- Aah!
447
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,250
- Aah!
- God!
448
00:20:50,252 --> 00:20:53,263
Mary, Stef, Michelle,
what... why are you here?
449
00:20:53,265 --> 00:20:54,852
You know the burglars?
450
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,888
I'm having your husband's baby.
451
00:20:56,890 --> 00:20:58,790
- What?
- Not again.
452
00:20:58,792 --> 00:21:00,458
No, I did not cheat on you.
453
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,560
I...
454
00:21:02,796 --> 00:21:05,596
I swear on the Baby Jesus.
455
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,465
Dave was her donor.
456
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,199
She accidentally picked
him from a clinic.
457
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,935
They gave her this photo.
458
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,804
A photo of my brother, John?
459
00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:16,007
Of your whom?
460
00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:18,609
His handsome, tall, tech
entrepreneur brother,
461
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:19,944
who speaks four languages.
462
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:23,081
Who is also in jail for insider trading.
463
00:21:23,083 --> 00:21:25,783
Oh. Oh, thank God.
464
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,785
It's not a Dave.
465
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:28,788
Congratulations.
466
00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:31,823
Okay, thank you, Lord. It is not a Dave.
467
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,860
He's in jail.
468
00:21:37,564 --> 00:21:39,497
Okay, here we go.
469
00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:46,105
Let's see what you got, Trash Phoenix.
470
00:21:46,107 --> 00:21:48,106
Still look like a footstool to me.
471
00:21:48,108 --> 00:21:50,608
Aah!
472
00:21:53,113 --> 00:21:55,113
Come on, Anthony.
473
00:21:55,115 --> 00:21:56,681
Come on, Anthony!
474
00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:58,016
Aah!
475
00:21:58,018 --> 00:22:01,686
Phoenix, Phoenix,
Phoenix, Phoenix, Phoenix,
476
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:03,988
Phoenix, Phoenix, Phoenix, Phoenix!
477
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,723
- Do you hear that?
- Hmm?
478
00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:07,316
The crowd's going crazy. They love you.
479
00:22:07,318 --> 00:22:08,860
Ka-kaw!
480
00:22:08,862 --> 00:22:10,695
Ka-kaw!
481
00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:12,030
Let's give the people what they want.
482
00:22:12,032 --> 00:22:13,097
You're going over.
483
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:15,066
Cha Cha Slide, one stomp this time.
484
00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:20,672
Come on, Whitlock!
485
00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:22,106
- Ka-kaw!
- Go, Anthony!
486
00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:26,744
Test of strength.
487
00:22:30,884 --> 00:22:32,617
Come on!
488
00:22:32,619 --> 00:22:34,852
Now I'm Tom Cruise, and you're Oprah.
489
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,788
Aah!
490
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:41,066
- Come on, Anthony.
- Get out of it.
491
00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:43,628
Now find your inner
Cruise, and I'm Oprah.
492
00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:45,129
I'm Oprah.
493
00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:46,764
What? Aah!
494
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:48,066
Come on, Oprah!
495
00:22:48,068 --> 00:22:50,635
Anthony, Anthony...
496
00:22:54,174 --> 00:22:55,973
Ka-kaw!
497
00:23:00,013 --> 00:23:02,113
Ooh!
498
00:23:02,115 --> 00:23:04,949
One, two, three!
499
00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:07,885
Yes!
500
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:09,153
Ka-kaw!
501
00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:12,957
Here is your winner, Trash Phoenix!
502
00:23:12,959 --> 00:23:16,127
Oh, my God, we won a
sports-adjacent contest.
503
00:23:30,977 --> 00:23:33,644
- Deznel.
- Aces.
504
00:23:46,026 --> 00:23:50,026
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
34270
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