All language subtitles for 52.Tuesdays.2013.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

Once upon a time, I had a mum
who told me everything.

You know, I knew about
her lovers and her breakups.

We'd go to these parties
and I'd notice strangers
who were flirting with her and--

You know, I'd watch-- I'd watch
her life from under tables and
I'd listen in from my bed and--

You know, we used to cuddle up
and she'd tell me her thoughts
about the world.

In my family,
we made decisions together.

I felt like an adult.

No fucking way.

Dad, Mum's is left.
Right,
strap your helmet on.

Can you imagine, just you
and me living together,
all the time?

Like, for how long?

Yeah, I'm not gonna answer
anything until you put
your helmet on properly, yeah?

I want to tell her
something.
What?

Private.
Between me and Mum.
Ah.

When did you decide this?
Fuck, I didn't decide
any of this, all right?

She was supposed
to tell you herself.

Fuck. Mum?

Mum?

Hang on, honey.

Hey. Tom's been telling
the biggest bunch of lies.

He said that I'm gonna
live with him
full-time now.

I mean, I love Dad and all,
but can you imagine
even for a little while?

Also, I've got something
I really want to tell you.

Mum.

Mum, open the door.

Mum!

I can give you
some pamphlets and books
if you like.

It'll set out the steps.
Um, I'll take hormones,
take a male name--

Have you seen my cardigan?
That new one?

She's not listening.

No, I get it.
You feel like a man.
You want to become a man.

You need a little space.

Look, you don't have
to leave right now.
Can we sit and talk about it?

I get it, Mum.
It's okay.

Have you washed it?
I don't know.

Harry.

Harry?

Have you seen
my red cardi?

Hey.

Cold.

Give it to me.
You can fuck off.

Warmer now.

Has she told you yet?

You knew?

Everyone knew except me.

My sister
should just get
a fucking strap-on.

Get a fucking
strap-on, woman.

Oh, get off.
We need to talk to Billie.

Until your mum
grows a bit more hair
on her chest,

she doesn't want you
around.

Yeah, exactly what we need.

Shipping you off
to chef man here.

Yeah, and you work late.
You're never home.

I'll make it work.

For how long?

Yeah, for how long,
brother?

Well, top surgery can happen in
about nine months, maybe longer.

Full effects of testosterone
can take years.
It's a long process.

How long?

With your dad?

Yeah.

A year.

I was thinking a year.

* Thinking of you
all the while *

My mum always used to tell me
how much of a drag it was
to breast-feed me.

You know,
I was a hungry child
and I bit.

But she'd always tell me that--
that she never loved anyone
or anything in her life...

more than she did then.

I loved my mum.

I wanted my mum to be happy.

* Thinking of you
all the while *

* More and more

* Longing for
that cheeky smile *

* That I adore

* Keep the love that's growing
in your eyes so true *

You're not kicking
Harry out, are you?

He's an adult.
He's an idiot.

I just need my life
to be simple
right now, Bill.

I'm not sure
I can finish this now.

I'll have it ready for you
next time you come around, okay?

Next time I come around?

A year.

Look. How about we make
a promise to each other?

How about every week
we set aside some time
to be with each other?

Just you and me.

You could come over
after school
and we'll drop everything.

It'll be our time together.

How does that sound?

Every week?

Same time, every week,
without fail.

Every Tuesday?

Do you promise?

I promise.

There are just so many things
that I should have said.

You know, there were so many
things that I just wasn't
clear about and--

* Keep the love that's growing
in your eyes so true *

These are all the things
that I should have said
before now.

* You alone
my heart can cheer *

* You, just you *

So at the moment,
because it's under Medicare,

prior to surgery
being approved,

something called
real-life experience
is required.

Do you know about
real-life experience,
Billie?

Yeah, I've told her
about RLE.

Good. So you must understand
that before we can
prescribe hormones,

your mum must continue
to come to us
for assessment.

Second session now.

I think this whole process
should take about
two or three months.

Then after about six months,
we can look at surgery.

Female-to-male chest
reconstruction surgery.

Hysterectomy can follow,
if that's what you want.

What's a hysterectomy?

It's where they take
the uterus out.

Now, I understand
you've taken a male name.

What do you think about
your mum's new name, Billie?

James is a lovely name.
Hello, James.

Um, hello.

Thanks.

So do I call you
Dad now?

Um, whatever you're
comfortable with,
I suppose.

Dad.

When will I
see you next, Dad?

Dad, dad, dad, dad.
Dad?

Next week, same time.

Eat with your chopsticks,
not with your fingers.

It tastes better, Dad.

It's rude... Billie.

Ow, that hurt.
It did not.
Eat properly.

Mum?

Harry?

Uncle Harry?

You know, you shouldn't be
missing school because of me.
It's not the point.

I just thought
we could hang out.

Yeah, well, I've got
appointments before.
Then after I've gotta work.

Nice sideburns.

Look, I can't keep having
the school call saying
you're skipping out.

I thought we'd have
more time together.

Let's just stick
to an agreed time.
4:00 till 10:00?

Sure. 4:00 till 10:00.

You promise?

Just promise, will you?
Okay, okay, I promise.

And stay out of my stuff.

What?
What are you
eating so fast for?

What do you do
on the other nights?

Not much. I work.

Do you go out?

Nah, not yet.

You will.

Jesus. This house
is so fucking cold.

Got another exciting night
planned together?

I'll take back what you
don't want. Dad won't even
know what's missing.

Frida.
How long are you here for?

Dad?

Just for tonight, remember?
And then it's back
to Mum's tomorrow.

Back to Mum's tomorrow.
I get to sleep in your bed.

What's this?

Ingredients: scissors,
wool crepe, spirit gum,
pencil eyeliner, mascara?

It'll be fun.

And then he turns around
and goes, "Saltwater thief!
You, sir, are a notable pirate."

And then the other one
comes in and he goes-- he goes,
"Don't call me names, sir!"

** [ Speakers:
Pop, Man Singing ]

Adam's apple.

You're still
into women, right?

Yeah, of course.

But if you're with them,
are they a lesbian
or are they straight?

I don't-- I don't want
to be with anyone yet.

When then?

When I'm a man.

I thought you
were a man now.

Didn't you have
any dinner?

Nope.

**
* Those warriors
with wild hearts *

* Who show their love
is bona fide *

* Though

* Lo

* What have I become?

**

Hey.

Hey.

Well, because of
the vacuum and stuff, but
it feels kind of peaceful.

There's a great view too.

Hey, I've lost weight.

Really?
Yeah, really, really.

* I will think of you

I was checking out binders
the other day...

because, well, I thought
mine had stretched out.

Now it looks like
I've just lost weight.

* Those warriors
with wild hearts *

* Who show their love
is bona fide **

Sorry.

Have you told anyone?

Nuh-uh. No one.
I haven't told anyone.

Good.

I don't even know
your names though.

Josh.

Jasmin.

Josh and Jasmin?

Josh and Jasmin.
Jasmin and Josh.

Fuck off then.

Oh, no, no.
I was thinking
about my mum.

Uh, my mum's name
starts with a "J,"

and so when I was growing up
I always wanted my name
to start with a "J."

It just feels
like a better way
to start a name,

uh, with a "J"
rather than a "B."

Uh, Billie.

Um, you know, growing up,
the only Billies I knew
were pet dogs.

So you wanna play a game?

Sure.
Yeah.

I'm so, so sorry.
I completely
lost track of time.

It's okay, honey.
Don't worry about it.

No, I'm so sorry.
What were you doing?

I'm on my way now.
I'll be, like, 30 minutes.

Oh, look, by the time
you get here, we'll only have
a couple of hours together,

and then I'll have
to drive you home.

Just go straight
to Tom's.

Really?
I'm literally
on my way now.

It's okay, hon. If I go to work
early, I'll finish early.
It'll be good.

Are you sure?

Yeah, it'll be good
to have an early night
for once.

Okay.

Well, I'll see you
next week?

I'll see you then.
Love you.

Love you too.
I'm so sorry.

Can't you just
hit it to me?

What, you don't want
to play properly?

This is supposed to be fun,
and instead, you're just
making fun of me.

Making me run all over
the fucking court.
I'm trying to say something.

You never fucking
listen to me.

Is this about last week?

You were the one
who was late.

I just thought
it would be easier
if we just skipped it.

And I'm just saying
that I'm really sorry,

and I never want to miss
hanging out with you.

Never.

Okay, well,
let's just make sure
we never miss out again.

Okay. Exactly.
Let's just make sure.

- Okay, let's.
- Good.

Now do you want
to play or what?

Yes.

[ Billie, Jasmin
Giggling ]

Hey, open your mouth.
Why?

Just open your mouth.

Wider.

Oh. I've got spit
all over my mouth.

Disgusting.

Mmm. Now on
the other side.

What does it
taste like?

Minty fresh.

No, I mean,
what does
he taste like?

Well,
why don't you try?

Okay.

Ah, shit, I gotta go.

What, really?
Yeah.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.
Mmm.

You know, this
is the last time
we have here.

What do you mean?

Well, 'cause it's
the play this weekend,

and then us year-11s
go on holiday next week.

What, so we can't
come here anymore?

No more rehearsals.
There's no point.

I-I really have to go.

Your loss.

Hi.
Hey.

You have to go back?

I could stay forever.

No, I mean,
I can't believe it. It--

At this point--

Lunch time hookups,
pleasuring a beautiful woman.

Maybe I could
pleasure you sometime.

I'm taking
all the pleasure.

No, but it is my pleasure.

Charmer.

You're just
a lovely surprise,
is all.

Hi.

Hey.
I'll be out in a tick.

Okay.

Okay, look at this.

So whenever I meet
another person
with a transgender parent,

ah, one of the things
that we often talk about is...

the amazing gift
of knowing...

that our parent has chosen
to live an authentic life.

What do you think
about that?

You know,
what is an authentic life?

Is this an authentic life?

**

**

Oh, cool.

Your first
testosterone shot.
Yep, this morning.

Awesome.

About fucking time.

Champagne.
Mmm.

So the doctor thought
everything was fine, then?
Well, I mean, obviously.

Yep. I passed
all the tests,
so to speak.

It's really happening.
I'm on the T.

Here's to bigger clits.

Harry.
What?

It's okay, sweetheart.
Nothing could spoil
my mood tonight.

So--

Mm-mm-mm.

Hey, Harry, can you
drive me home tonight?

You have dinner
and you hang out,

and then you leave your house
and go to your other house.

Yep.

This is ridiculous.

It's just
fucking ridiculous.

What time are you
supposed to leave Jane's--
fucking James's anyway?

10:00.

We're already late.

It's okay.
I told Dad 12:00.

Uh, things might start
happening straight away.

Like what?

Um, my muscle mass
will increase and, uh--

Oh, and my hair is gonna
get coarser and grow more.

Even facial hair?

Um, that'll probably
take longer.

Just keep an eye out
because I could even
start going bald.

Is that good?

What do you mean?

Well, if you go bald,
it'll mean it's working,
right?

I mean, only men go bald,
so if you go bald,
is that gonna make you happy?

If I start seeing that,
should I mention it?

I mean, do you want me
to only mention
the good things or--

Um, how about if you see it,
you just let me know, okay?

Uh, this is my voice
on testosterone,

um, one week.

Hey, I, um-- I got
some pictures of some guys
off the net too.

And, like, these are guys
that, like me, were born
biologically female,

but, uh, they've taken
testosterone, so--

What, is that all from
just taking testosterone?

Yep.

My gosh.

You wouldn't even know.

No.

It's good, huh?

**

It's this one here.

Okay, now start
walking forward.
Harry.

Harry, can I just
open my eyes?
No.

Okay, now open your eyes.

Oh, my God.

Don't burn the place down
and don't go on the roof.
Okay?

What the fuck is this,
anyway?

You boozing with buds
or something?

No.

Well, what then?

You're having an E party?
You're doing crank.

Do you want me
to get you anything?

I don't need anything.

What is this?

It's just friends from school
and we just need somewhere
to hang out.

Hmm. And you want me
to drop you off
each Tuesday?

Yeah?

Yes. Please.

That'd be good.

It'll be
our little secret.

Do you notice anything?

Mmm.

I don't know.

Is it meant to have changed
in a week?

I don't know.

Here?

Yep. Yeah, just in front
of the camera.

Okay. And you can
sit down on it.

Josh, come too.

Just you first.

What are you
gonna ask me?

Are you guys together,
like boyfriend
and girlfriend?

Mmm, no.

It's quite intoxicating,
really.

So are you a man now?

I'm nearly a man.

It wasn't that stupid,
you know,

the idea of rose petals
on a bed,
listening to Barry White.

It wasn't that.

Was it good?

Yeah.

No. No, no,
it wasn't actually.

That one.
What noise do you make?

Good-quality clothes.
They've got a beard.

They walk with,
you know, intent.

They're a man. It's like,
you're-- you're smooth, man.

Okay, have you ever
gone down on a girl?
Yeah.

What did it
taste like?
Tangy.

Good?

Tangy.

Bad.

Tangy. Just--

Do you like
that I'm filming you?

I don't mind it.

What do you think
this is?

I think this is--
I think this is interesting.

The thing is,
I see myself every day
so I'm not sure if I'll notice.

Is your voice a bit deeper?

I've started shaving.

Your face?
Yeah.

I'm shaving it to make
the hairs grow thicker.

Hmm. Is it working?

Well, I mean, I can only feel,
like, nudie bum, but--

Ding, ding. Time.

Hey, hang on.

See ya.
See ya.

**

Are you more like your mum
or your dad?

I don't know my dad, so--
And I never want
to be my mum.

Okay, Jas,
take your top off.

Lips.

Don't hover.
You can kiss them.

Uh, don't lick them.

But you can bite,
like a nibble.

Breasts.

You can't tweak
or jiggle them
or suck on them.

But you can
cup them.

And you can
come on them.

Now I'm gonna have
to start again.

Huh?

I show that
to my kid,
remember.

I've met your brother.
Yeah, I know.
He lives with me.

But you haven't told
your daughter about me?

No.

Well, now's a good time
to introduce me.

Hi, Billie.
My name's Lisa--
Oh, fuck.

I'm fucking your mother!

You look tanned this week.

What, you can't see that?

No.

But you look older.

Josh, what does it feel like
to be inside a girl?

Do you hear something?

There it is again.
I swear
I heard something.

Ha-ha.

Yeah, like
a high
Like a slug being baked.

Fuck you then.

Maybe if the slug came
a little closer,
we'd be able to hear it.

What does it feel like?

I don't know.

Like a warm loaf
of bread.

**

**

Wake up.

Merry Christmas,
my beautiful pumpkin.

Merry Christmas.

How was it?

We didn't go.

We stayed home.

My folks are not pleased
about their new
38-year-old son.

No, they are not.

Lose a daughter,
gain a son.

It's like James
got married to himself.

Your mum should never have said
anything to them though.
That's the thing.

I mean, he just looks
like a dyke
at the moment anyway,

and it took 'em
long enough to accept that.

The fuckers.

Hey. Hey, you've gotta
wake up.

You stink of smoke.

I think I smell
like pussy.

Billie,
you've got to wake up.

Billie.

I'm not so sure
I can take you tonight.

Billie, um, because, um,

I am-- I am very high,

and I will--
I will continue to be so.

Billie.

I'll tell James
about your secret.

Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, I'm up.

I'm up. I'm awake.
What?

Um, so I've-- I've played
in every position, right?

I've, um-- I've batted,
I bowled, I fielded,
I batted for the other team.

I always knew
what I wanted. I'm not
like your mum, you know.

And-- And Billie, that's--
that's the thing.

I've got to tell you something
that's really important.

What?

Don't be like your mum.

It's like--
Because you look up
to her so much.

And you can't
be like your mum.

Like a man?

No.

Jesus, you're retarded
sometimes.

I mean,
unless you want to be.

I don't know.
How would I know?

Just don't take
so fucking long to find out.

You don't have to wait
for inspiration.
You're not fucking Rembrandt.

You-You just-- You take
your clothes off and you
roll around in the paint.

Promise.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay, yes.

Now, Harry, you just--
just go and let me sleep.

Okay.

Uh-oh.

Hey, chef man!

Happy Christmas,
motherfucker!

**

- Hey, kiddo.
- Hey.

Are you ready to go?
Yep.

See ya.
See ya.

Merry Christmas, Billie.

Merry Christmas, Mum.

See ya.

Dinner parties
and Christmas crackers--

Stupid family.

* Christmastime

* Hate it *

I hate Christmas.

Christmas sucks balls.

So I can bite them,
but I can't lick them?

And I can't
hover over them?

That's what I said.

**

Look.
I'm sorry, okay?

Why? It's not
your fault.

Well, then what?
You're so grumpy today.

It's just
a testosterone thing.

What?
Being fucking grumpy?

No. There are
just complications.

Like what?

Like-- Like this.

Like this.
That's what.

Hey. Hurry up with your
secret ladies' business.

I'm waiting on some test results
so we'll just have to wait
and see.

**

What's wrong?

Jesus, good morning to you too.

Well, you never call
and you knew
I'd be sleeping.

So what's up?

Jane?

I've had to stop
testosterone.

It's got something to do with
overproduction of liver enzymes.

Well, you saw me.

So are you gonna stop
the treatments for good?

Yes. Apparently it's fucking
rare, but there have been
other cases.

If I'd stayed on T,
I would've died.

I'm so sorry, J.

I don't know
how to tell Billie.
Jesus.

Do you know that was my first
thought-- how the fuck
am I gonna tell her?

She's gonna want to
move back in with you.

You know that, right?

Oh, I can't--
I can't do it yet.
Please.

I just need time to think.

Tom?

I await your decision.

You should go
to another doctor.

You can't just trust one doctor.
Like, there has to be
other ways.

Right?
No.

I don't know.

So, what now?

Look, I know this
has been hard
for all of us.

I
I still need time
to work it out.

I think we should stick to--
I'd like to stick
to our Tuesdays.

I was always praised
for my sophistication,

my maturity,
my ability to adapt.

But it was never true.

You just have no choice,
do you?

About 200 kilometers
north of Adelaide in 1880,

and then his father
got a job in Sydney.

Hey.

Do you want me
to make dinner tonight?

Take your top off.

Come here.

Take your top off.

* It's time to get up
Get up *

* Get out of bed

* Hula-Hoop time

* Hula-Hoop crime

* Hula-Hoop ti-- *

Hey.
Hey.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

Mum?

Mum?

What the fuck, Mum.
Where were you?

Let's go, Bill. School.

Beautiful day.

Yeah.

Well?

Okay, watch this.

We're currently
on our mission down
to the Pine Island Glacier...

in West Antarctica.

When looking out
of the window of the aircraft,

we noticed a fairly large crack
in the ice shelf.

These things happen
on a semi-regular basis...

in both the Arctic
and the Antarctic, but it's
still a fairly large event.

So, um-- So we wanted to make
sure we captured as much
of that process as we could.

So much stuff happens in a year.

You know, the Earth--

And there was--

There were civil wars
in Syria and Libya and, um--

You know, and in Antarctica,
a glacier the size of New York
split off.

Or maybe it didn't split off.

Fuck.

I can't remember
whose party it was,
but we were against the door,

'cause there was no lock,
and he pulled my pants down
straight away.

Can I do it?

Nah.

Like that?

A little rougher.

Like you want to show me
how much you want me.

Come on, guys.
When can I have a go?

Josh,
just wait a sec.

But maybe because it was
Valentine's Day...

and his girlfriend
was in the other room.

He wanted to do it
pretty quickly.

So I let him, you know,
put it in me straight away.

Here, grab my leg.

Just put
your fingers here.

Come on, guys.
I'm dying over here.

Is that right?

He kept on turning
his head away from me.

I forced it back
and got him to kiss me.

Okay, let's go.

No, hang on, I'll do this.

Okay, and go.

And you have to
do it rough.
Okay.

Okay.

Jas, you weren't
wearing jeans.

- Not easy.
- Okay.

Okay.

And wait.
Hold my leg.
Okay, come here.

Billie,
what do you think?
Uh--

Come on.
What do you like?

Uh, I don't know.

Come on, Billie.

Dude, we told you everything.
You gotta give us something.

Um--

So does this mean
you're still transitioning?

Yeah, of course.

I just don't remember
you telling me.

Don't worry.
It'll happen. Somehow.

This'll get bigger.

Is Harry here?

He's never here.

I hit the soap dish with my arse
and broke the soap dish...

and fell into the bath,
but when I landed
I also passed out,

but not because I hit my head,
but because I thought
I'd cut my arse.

And then
just ride naked?
Yeah. Yeah absolutely.

Or dressed
like a sperm.

Are you two
brother and sister?

She's my niece.
Oh.

You look like you could
be her brother.

She might as well
be my sister.

I mean, I take care of her
like she's my sister.

Make sure my little Billie
doesn't get hurt.

Are you taking care
of my Bill?

Are you using protection?

You're not-- You're not using
your mum's strap

If you are, I really hope
that you're washing
that filthy fucking thing.

It's unsanitary.

No. No strap-ons here.

Is your mum a lesbian
or something?

Why are you here, Harry?

So, you just hang out here,
right?

You shoot the shit
and talk about your--
your stuff?

What would you do if you didn't
have this glorious place
I gave you, hey?

Where would you go?

I suppose you could go
to your mum's, Billie,
couldn't you?

James is always at work
at this time
so he wouldn't know a thing.

Who's James?

Okay.

'Cause I've already been
seeing the psychiatrist.

So basically--

due to the changes
in the international
standards of care,

I think I can get
chest reconstruction surgery
without being on hormones.

So what I wanted to ask was,
do you want to come?

To the surgery?

To the psychiatrist.

For approval
in a couple of weeks.

Somewhere you'd rather be?

Yeah, sure, Mum.
Book me in.

**

* Need a reaction

* Need a reaction
from you to me *

* Just need a reaction
Need a reaction *

* Need a reaction *

Awesome, right?
Yes.

This is so weird.

** [ Speakers:
Pop ]

What?

Harry, it's Tom.
Chef man.

Is Billie there?
She's not answering
any of my calls.

Go fish.
She's not here,
Pastry Pete.

Where are they?
Don't know.

I'll call Jane then.

Um, bad idea.

Why? Look, I need
to talk to Billie, man.
I came off my scooter.

Are you all right?

Cheers, mate.
Yeah.
No, I'm good.

I was just sorta showing off
at a friend's place
and came off...

and scraped up
my left side.

But I need to
talk to Billie.

'Cause I don't know
if I'm gonna be home.

So I'll just, uh--
I'll call Jane, eh?

Not a good idea.

You keep saying that.

Well, she's gonna be
back here anyway,
so I can just tell her then.

Or I could just
call Jane now.

No. Don't.

Dude, what the fuck's
going on?

Oh, fuck.

All right,
here's the deal.

Billie?

Sit down, mate.

Why didn't you answer
any of my calls?

Listen, Harry convinced me
not to call your mother
looking for you.

But he had to
tell me why though.

I don't understand why you
thought you had to lie about
hanging out with your mates.

All right.

We'll duke it out,
you and me.

I'm not gonna
tell your mother.

Good.
I don't want him to know.

Nah.
You're gonna tell her.

It's "him."

Fuckin' whatever, Bill.

This is something
you're gonna sort out
yourself, yeah?

**

**

**

I just don't really
wear dresses like this
at the moment.

Well, it's your birthday.

- Okay, just get out so I
can try something else on.
- Okay.

I been thinking
it might be good for me
to start seeing people.

Actually, I--

No, thank you.

There's this woman at work
that's...

kind of shown interest.

What, you're
seeing someone?
No.

That's-- That's not
what I was saying.

How about trying
this one on?

Can you just give us
a minute?
Sure.

I don't like any of these.
Can we just go?

Did you want to
try somewhere else?

No.
Just take me home.

When we were here,

this place,

things made sense,

secret and separate.

No family.

It was precious,
that stuff.

You know, it was mine.

Tell your mum, Bill.

Just start talking.

Where's
the mother?

She's around.

Not enough to be
in a photo
with her kid though.

No, no,
she's around.

I'm glad to see you
back here.

We've spoken
on the phone
a few times,

but your mum's
not been here
for a while.

And you, Billie,
I've not seen you here
for ages.

Seven months.
Yeah, it's been
seven months.

Okay.

How is everything
then?

Yeah, despite the hiccup,
things are pretty good.

And the two of you?
How has your time
been together?

Yeah,
it's been good.

Yeah, time together's
been good.

Outside of that?

I've been lying to Mum each week
about going to Tom's at 10:00.

So that's good.

Actually, I've just been
going out with friends,

fucking around
without anybody knowing
where I am.

So, you know, that's--
that's really good.

And Mum hasn't known
about any of this until--
until just now.

So-- So that's really
fucking good, isn't it?

And James,
he's been seeing someone.
I think someone from work.

But I don't know
anything about that,

so you're gonna have to ask him
if that's been good because--

because I've absolutely
no fucking idea.

I mean,
maybe you could tell me.

I'm busy, guys.

In front of
the psychiatrist.

Billie could've really
fucked things up for me today.
Don't be ridiculous.

I'm sure he deals with
fucked-up families
all the time.

We gotta do
this shit now, guys?
It's busy, yeah?

Yeah, we have to do it now.
It needs to be sorted out.

It's between you
and Billie, man.
No, it's not.

This has been really
badly managed. And she's been
lying to you too, you know.

Why the fuck do you think
I would let her stay out
till 12:00 on a school night?

And have you even
bothered to ask her
what she's been doing?

Because she won't
bloody tell me.

Are you even
remotely worried?

This is our daughter
we're talking about.

Every Tuesday she's your
daughter, I agree, yes.
But not at any other time.

You no longer get to decide
what happens to Billie after
the clock strikes 10:00.

- She's my responsibility then.
- Oh, well, great job.

Hey, this was your
fucking idea. Remember?
Fucking deal with it.

For some reason
I can only guess at,

you've chosen to be her mother
for a mere six hours
out of every week.

That's 24 hours
in a month. A day.

So in the last six months
you've chosen to be her mother
for, what, six days?

Six days.
Is that about right?

You have no say, man.

Is everything all right?

I don't mind it rough.
Don't get me wrong.

No, don't.

I'm bleeding.

I just hate it.
It's fucking painful.

For me too.
For lots of women.

I used to think it was,
you know, hormones.

I didn't get it.
Get what?

That I hated it
because I couldn't escape
that I was a woman.

I mean,
this body is still...

here.

I didn't realize
you were getting periods again.

Billie thinks
I've been seeing you
for months, you know.

Thinks I've been lying
about not seeing anyone.

She's
a smart cookie.

Tom and I split
when Billie was one.

We moved houses
but kept sharing them,

trying for some strange version
of a family, I guess.

Until it was clear
I was totally into women.

**
In front of Billie,

he said he hated me
for being so slow
to realize who I was.

And when he finally
moved out,

demanded we share Billie.

And then
my kid brother Harry
moved in.

Messy.

It was just so much change
for such a little kid.

Awesome, right.

I mean, there I was--

"Hey, I'm a lesbian.
It's all cool."

But there was
something else.

One night
it was so simple.

I dressed up.
I just decided to do it.

In what?

I put on men's clothes,
drew a beard,
and there I was.

In the mirror I finally
recognized myself and...

I was a beautiful man.

I wish I had
a photo of that.

No, you don't.

It was so liberating.

But I was really scared.

I'd screwed
Billie and Tom around
so much by then.

So I made a decision
that I'd just shelve it.

I mean, I couldn't do anything
simple to change it anyway,
so it wasn't important.

Billie was important.

Then, 10 years later,
it came screaming out at me.

If you can't work out
how to live with yourself,
you might as well not be here.

Do you wish
you were born a man?

I mean, what would've happened
if I kept putting it off?

The kindest, most loving kid
in the world--

I didn't want to resent her.

I just needed some time.

Do you wish
you were born a man?

Yes.

But then you wouldn't
have had Billie.

No.

I'm sick of tiptoeing,
but I just--

I just don't want
to do this anymore.

Well...

how about
you move back in?

No.

Hey, it's Billie.

Leave me a message.
Okay, bye.

Hey, it's Mum.

Um, it's after 5:00 now,
so I'm just wondering
if you're coming.

I haven't heard
anything back from you,
so, um--

Well, I'll be at home,
so give me a call.

Whoa!

Hey, it's Billie.

Leave me a message.
Okay, bye.

Hiya. Um--

I think we should
at least talk.

I'm not sure
if you're even listening
to these messages,

and Tom's not helping at all.

Um, can-- can we
at least just talk?

Sorry I'm late.
We're busy.

Thanks for coming.
Take a seat.
Okay.

I was just saying
that,

apart from a couple
of truancy incidences
last year,

we haven't had any trouble
with Billie before.

So in our view,
this incident
is out of character.

Yeah, well, we're just
as surprised as you are.

Yes, it's really come out
of the blue for us as well,
so that's why we are all here.

Well, we're here to help.
So what exactly happened?

Well, um,

Billie texted another girl
in a different year--

Jasmin Miller--
during class time.

And Jasmin's teacher
happened to notice,

and so he confiscated
the phone.

And he noticed that the message
was a photograph of Billie,

uh, in a state
of nakedness.

Really?

And trust me,
this is serious.

I want to make it very clear
that if you're a minor,

a naked photograph
of yourself...

can be regarded
as child pornography.

Normally
I'd bring the police
into this straight away,

but I'm not going to
in this case.

I really wanted
just to bring it
to your attention.

Because a family like yours,
in a unique situation,

I wanted to make sure
you understood
the consequences.

"Unique situation"?

Well, I think you have
a more complicated view of life,
a family like yours.

What

Look, I think Billie
has really good perspective,
if that's what you mean.

And I think we've equipped
our daughter with a better
understanding of things...

than most
other parents might.

Yeah, well, I think
it might have been...

a confusing time
for Billie lately.

I'm not
going through
her stuff.

You can watch for hours
if you want.
She won't move.

She really doesn't do much else,
but especially on a Tuesday.

It's her favorite TV night.

Packed to the Rafters,
then NCIS.

And now The Voice is on.
She likes to watch that.

Does she live here
by herself?

She has two kids.
A girl and a boy.

And if they're
all home together,
they'll watch The Voice.

She hates outside.

She doesn't really
go out much.

Wouldn't child services
know about this?

They cover for her.
They make excuses
if anyone asks for her.

They can't afford
to get in trouble
at school...

because the school
always calls the parents.

And she won't come.
She can't.

You have
a brother?

Younger.

Now, what's so shit
about your life
you haven't told us?

What so shit about yours?

You get to do
whatever you want.

Oh, my God.

You don't get it.

My mum's sick.

I'm sick of
being your plaything.
Fuck off.

[ Phone Ringtone:
Whistling Sound ]

Hey.
It's 5:30 in the morning.

Um, I-I'm still jet-lagged.

It could be
the crazy yelling man out here.

Oh, can you see him?

Anyway, um,

San Fran's pretty amazing.

Um, I met some, uh, interesting
trans guys already and, um--

Yeah, I hope
you're watching these.

And, uh, talk to you
soon, hopefully.

I have identified
as a trans guy for many years.

I identify as gender queer.

Fuck if I know
what a man is.

For me, it's a thing
that I believed about myself
from before conscious memory.

I didn't know that I was trans
until I was about 26.

As a child too
I had a twin sister,

so it was really easy for me to
understand what it looked like
to be comfortable as female,

and I was not that.

You know, my question's been,
okay, now that I can't take T,

how do I kind of be the man that
I see in my head for me to be,

that I've taken
this year off to do?

For me,
I've been on for 18 years,

and, uh, you know,
I don't think
that it's necessary,

um, you know,
for gender identity.

Um, I'm not on T,
but I just had top surgery.

I'm on, like,
day 16 after top surgery,
and it's really fulfilling.

I'm married to a woman
and have a seven-year-old kid,

and I transitioned
before he was born,

so he's always known me
as his dad.

But I still had to
come out to him...

and help him know that
I'm a different kind of dad.

It took me
a really long time...

to feel comfortable
accepting myself as a man,

and even still sometimes,
after 11 years,

I have moments where
I'm just, like, so crazy.

Not like I feel like a woman,
but it just feels like, um--

I don't know, I feel
nervous or scared about
claiming that identity.

My dad became a woman,

uh, about 14 years ago
when I was 17,

and it really transformed
our relationship.

Initially when my dad
came out I said,

"Oh, I love you no matter what.
This will be fine."

Then, like,
a month or so later...

I realized that I was,
like, sad about something.

I lived with my mom,
and so I told her--

I was, like,
"I feel a little weird
about something."

She was, like, "Do you think
it's because your dad came out
to you as transgender?"

Cheers.

So, you want me to get
this camera off Harry?

Yes.
Because?

Because he stole it from me
and won't give it back.

Well, what's on there?

Nothing's on there.
I just need it
for a school project.

So why did he steal it?

I don't know.

Worried it had shit
of his own on there...

that would
incriminate him,
something.

I don't know.

Can you get it
or not?

Tom still letting you
hang around with
those friends of yours?

Dad lets me be an adult.

I am able to make my own
decisions, you know.

Well, sending
a naked photo of yourself
to a relative stranger...

doesn't seem like
the best decision to me.

Can you just
give it a rest?

Okay.

Why don't you come to mine
and we can talk together.

How is it any different from
you sending over videos...

of your gay adventures
in San Francisco?

It's different.
You're a child, for one thing.

But in a year,
all of a sudden
I just won't be?

A year is a long time,
especially at your age.

I knew this was
a bad idea.

You can't even get
my fucking camera back.

Where are you going?
Just sit down.

Let's not do this.

We also recorded, um,
with this special robot...

that we can
remote control.

It was really funny.
That's really cheeky.

Right. I'm gonna
take James's car.

I'll be able to pick him up
when he gets released.
I'll bring him home.

But after that
we all gotta pitch in.

Who's
the emergency contact?

No one's gonna die.

There's a risk of death
in every surgery. All right?

How do we find out who
the emergency contact is?

Just promise me
you'll be home
when he gets out.

Yeah, yeah. I'll be there.
Sponge in hand.

But I'm not
riding your scooter.
I hate that thing.

What's wrong
with your car?
It's dead. Died.

Anyway, if I'm gonna be
the emergency contact,
I should take the car.

Just take
the damn bike, mate.
I'm gonna find out.

Dad, can we go now?
Just a sec, honey.
Okay?

Excuse me.

You've hardly
said a word.

Please
don't ask me to.

Look, I can't.
Like, I just--
I really can't do it.

Okay. She's gonna be
out of action
for a while. All right?

I can't be
the only one holding
this family together.

Why am I the only one
that James
can rely on here?

Trust me, you're not
holding anything together.

Give me
the goddamn scooter key.

I'm the emergency
contact?
Nope.

Lisa.

Would you put that out?
You're disgusting.

That's no way to speak
to your nurse.

I do have other stuff
I normally do, you know.

Will you put it out?

Make me.

It's probably
seeping into my wounds,
poisoning me.

It's right here,
so you can just reach out
and grab it.

You really are
horrible.

God, this is
so boring.

I need a break.

Where's
your girlfriend?

Busy.

"Busy."

Trouble in paradise?

Shouldn't Billie
be here?

What time is she
getting here on this
particularly special Tuesday?

**
**

Light breeze.

* I'm faceless in the crowd

* But he faces

* He faces me

* Don't take
what's taken down *

* Just be with

* Just be with me *

**

How come you're
not at your mum's?

I thought
I was grounded.

Not to help
your debilitated mother,
you're not.

James doesn't need me.

No, I'm sure
he's doing just fine
over there with Harry.

There are others.
Plenty of others.

And don't try and
trick me again,

picking me up after school
and-- and taking me there.

Hijacking me or something.

Scooter chef man.

Are you high?

Jesus, Billie.

Come on.

Okay, look.

I'm just doing
what he's always wanted.

You know, I'm--
I'm staying away.

Don't test my patience
on this, Bill.

You really wanna do this?

What are you
gonna do, Pops?

Double

Yeah, well, she should be here.
You guys have got
a responsibility to each other.

What, like you
with Frida?

What do you mean?
We get along great.

Yeah, because you only
see her once a month.

Yeah, and we still
get along great.

Because you get to
come and go as you like...

and she treats it like
she should be grateful...

that you've graced her
with your presence.

I need a cigarette.
Okay?

Just sort your shit out
with Billie and save us all
a lot of trouble.

Great.

Oh, Harry!

It wasn't me.

Must be
the fuse again.

Very funny. Ha-ha.

Oh, pipe down,
sport.

**

Great.

Yep.

No, 3:00's great.

Before I come in,

did you know I go by
the name James these days?

Yeah. I shouldn't
be surprised.

Word gets out.

Okay. See you then.

Cheers.

**

How are you?

Okay.

Billie.

No offense,

but your dad's
a scary dude.

I don't want to
cross him.

Who cares?
We don't have to do
what he says.

Yeah.

Have you heard
from Jas?

Uh, no.
She's not answering
my phone calls.

Yeah. I think
she blocked you.

If I gave you a message,
would you pass it on?

You know, like, just something
to apologize or something?

Look--

I don't know.

You said you needed it
tonight.

Yes.

How many of these
are there?

Just that one.

Well, I can see why Harry
took it off you.

He wasn't
protecting me.

This is...

something.

Why record this?

Why record
your transition?

Your trip
to America?

To be able to go back.

To see things
I couldn't see at the time--

the small changes.

To show you.

You look
exactly the same.

Do I?

This whole year...

was about
becoming a man.

I know.

You said you'd
take testosterone.

You said you'd get
a male chest.

Well, I got surgery
and it feels great,

but without testosterone
it's gonna take a while.

I agreed to this...

because I thought
you were going to
become a man.

I was. I am.

So when the fuck
do you change?

It's not just
about the physical.

- It never ends.
- No, it doesn't.

That's why I still need
to sort some stuff out.

Where have I
heard that before?

Do you need
another year?

What could you possibly
have to sort out?

You.

I need to sort things out
with you.

Can I just
have it back?

You want this
for school, right?
This art project.

Does it matter?

It's dangerous.

Look, it's not
what you think.

Doesn't matter what I think.
You shouldn't have
what's on there.

You know
what I should do?

I should burn this.

I should go through
everything you own
and burn it all.

If you do anything
to that tape,

I will walk out
that door...

and happily not speak
to you ever again.

If this gets out--

Please.

Don't you dare.
I'm sorry.

When we were here,

this place,

things made sense.

This is my mum.

This is what his back
looks like.

There are so many things that
I should have said before now.

You know, that I should've
told you about, but...

I felt stuck or something
and I didn't feel
like I could talk.

Fuck.

It is a really big thing
to keep from your daughter.

And then Tuesdays
became our special time.

All this stuff happened--
you know, important stuff.

It happens all the time.

Jasmin?

There's food left
if you want it.

This year Earth's population
reached seven billion,

and then in Antarctica
a glacier the size of New York
split off.

Or it nearly split off.

You know, there was all
that Arab spring stuff.

And Occupy Wall Street
and, I don't know,
everything in Egypt.

I mean, you became a year-12,
Josh grew three
different beards...

and my mum became a man.

All this stuff happened--

you know, important stuff.

And it happens all the time.

You know, how do-- how do you
know what bits really matter?

Back at the start, I--
I didn't know how to be.

You know, how supportive,
how angry, how worried.

And you--

you just seemed so clear.

I mean, you both did.

You know, clear about
what you liked
and what you felt.

I wasn't.

And sex still
didn't make sense,

but-- but it did feel
great and weird and--

at least I didn't feel
like the Billie that James
is trying to get away from.

I felt like myself.

I just-- I didn't want
to talk about my mum...

and how it would be easier
for him if I wasn't around or--

or probably even better for him
if I didn't even exist.

I wanted to know
about you and Josh.

You know, clear about what
you liked and what you felt.

This section here,
it's really obvious
that they are having sex.

It's incredibly graphic.
And how much other footage
is out there?

This is supposed to be
a school project.
What the hell is going on?

Okay, I agree
that this thing's--

At least I didn't feel
like the Billie that James
is trying to get away from.

I felt like myself.

Get rid of it.
If this got out online--
Why would it get online?

You're having sex
on camera.

It wasn't meant
for anyone else.

I can't believe
you did this.

But you do understand
why you need to
get rid of it.

No!

We can take this
to the police.

But that'll get them all
in trouble. Billie was
under the age of consent.

- Not at all.

I'm saying that bringing
the police in is going to
ruin all their lives.

So we need to convince Billie
to destroy the footage herself.

Even if she
agrees to it, how can we
take her word for it?

I'll make sure she does it.

Maybe we can be there,
so we can make sure.

But my point is that
we can never be sure.

So, you're basically saying
you can't trust me.

I am trying to explain
the impossible position
we're in.

Look.

After this,
you won't have to listen
to me anymore, I swear.

You won't even have to
have me in your life,
if that's what you want.

But if you keep going like this,
you're not going to
have much else.

You just had to
give it to Jasmin.

How could you watch it?

Because I showed her.

What am I supposed
to do with all this?

I didn't know what to do,
so I showed Mum.

And then she called us,
eventually.

There are worse things
in the world than having a mum
that wants to be someone.

Trust me.

I wanted to
hang out with you.

I liked the camera.

But now...

I don't want anyone else
to see this.

Hit it. Hit it.
Hit it. Hit it.

Again.

Hit it.

Hit it. Hit it.

Keep going.
Hit it. Hit it.

So, you got your
fuck buddies back then?

I got rid of everything.

Kiddie porn-free now,
are we?

Am I?

You think that I've
still got something.

Frida!

Just tell me.

Come on.
Why worry?

You're in the clear now.
No more games, Harry.
Please.

Later, when all this
is over, right,

wouldn't it be great to just
have one tiny piece left?

You know? Fuck 'em.
No one's gonna know.

Why are you doing this?

Frida,
will you stop that!

- How about you say
you don't have anything?

Well, how about anything
I say you won't believe.
How about that?

Yeah. You're right.

That's why we need to go
right now, so you can show me
you don't have anything.

I can't even
if I wanted to.

I was lumped with Frida.
Then I've got sound check,
and then I've got the gig.

Go to the house yourself
and check. I don't care.

You know James
will be there.

So?

I'm not going on my own.

You're just going to
avoid him for the rest
of your life now, are you?

Why

Well, do you?

Well, you're gonna have to
go and look for yourself.

I can't go over there.

I-I'm not
going over there.

Dude, I gotta
go to work.

Do you have to go?
Fuck yeah, I gotta
go to work, Bill!

They're dying over there
without me.

I've wasted too much time
on all this shit.

Sorry. I'm tired.
All right?

Look, I'll go.

I'll go
right after work.

In the meantime,
don't wait up, kid.

Watch a movie
or read a book.

Just take care
of yourself, eh?

[ TV: Announcer,
Indistinct ]

**

Billie.

You came.

I wasn't sure.

Oh, God.
Of course I came.

It's Tuesday.

Can't stay here forever.

I'll keep it quick
so I don't embarrass myself
too much.

Or cry.

You watch your child grow older
and know they've changed,

but don't know...

how or what...

or exactly
when it happened.

It's hard to pinpoint
the "when," isn't it?

But you're actually
pretty good at it--

knowing the how
or what or when.

Much better
than I ever was.

So...

I hope you're around
a lot longer
to keep me up to date.

It's all right.

With the cheese
it kind of, like,
counterbalances it.

Balances out
so it's like the creaminess
and then the rough base.

Sid, order up!

Sid, order up.

What can I get you?
White wine.

Yep.
Great.

How was school?

James visited earlier.

He looks good.

He's slow, you know,
but he-- he gets there.

He just put it off
for so long.

Please don't tell me
it was all for my benefit.
Come on, man.

You loved Jane.
Unconditionally.

You idolized her.

What mother would
want to change that?

You certainly didn't.

Most people do things
with the best intentions,

and sometimes
it just doesn't work out.

Things happen.
You make a stupid decision.

You get lazy.

You crash your scooter.

That's life, Bill.

It still hurts.

Sure.

You don't want
what you had before,

knowing only
a few pieces of someone.

James has shown you, Bill.
He's not hiding anything.

You have a chance to know
who your mother really is.

And that's when you
can choose to love him...

or not.

You can make that choice
every day, if you like.

But there's no other way.

Okay.

I'm ready.

**

* I am dreaming, dear, of you

* Day by day

* Dreamin'
when the skies are blue *

* And when they're gray

* 'Cause when the silver moon
it gleams *

* Still I wander on
in dreams *

* In a land of love,
it seems *

* Just with you

* Let me call you sweetheart

* I'm in love with you

* Let me hear you whisper

* That you love me too

* Keep the love light glowing

* In your eyes so true

* And let me call you
sweetheart, babe *

* 'Cause I'm in love with you

* Longing for you
all the while *

* More and more

* Longing for
your sunny smile *

* I'll adore

* Birds are singing
far and near *

* Roses blooming everywhere

* You alone
my heart can cheer *

* You, just you

* Let me call you sweetheart

* I'm in love with you

* Let me hear you whisper

* That you love me too

* And keep the love light
glowing *

* In your eyes so true

* And let me call you
sweetheart, babe *

* 'Cause I'm in love
with you **