All language subtitles for chelmi01

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All right, buddy, sit down.

You ready?

Let's do your arm.

You want to count with me?

Okay.

One... two...

three... four...

You need to go
to the bathroom, buddy?

Just being
your own best friend?

Good night, Jonah.

Hey, did you bring Sarah
her inhaler?

Yeah. And you, uh...

brushed Jonah?

Yup.

Great.

Don't forget we're going
to my brother's

tomorrow night for dinner.

Craig hates me.

He doesn't hate you.

His factory setting
is "asshole."

You think he's going to respect
me more now I got promoted?

Nope.

But I'm sure
he's really excited

to show us his new G-Wagon.

It's sick, dude.

Yeah.

It's matte black,
just like Justin Bieber's.

I'm 41.

Mom, I can't find my books.

Sarah, go put your shoes on.

Jonah. Jonah.

We're not playing a game
right now, okay?

Jonah, give me this foot.
This foot, right in there.

Not banana feet. Come on.

- Right here.
- I still can't find it!

Sarah, look in my bedroom!
You left it in my bed!

Oh, my... Just hold still.

- Hold still. Hold still!
- Ow!

This is not our lot.

- What?
- Go to the other parking lot.

No, no, no, honey,
the other lot is full.

We have to park here
today, okay?

- Other lot.
- Not again.

Other lot. Other lot.

- Other lot. Other lot.
- Jonah, I have to meet with Mrs. Bell.

- Other lot! Other lot!
- Like, three minutes ago.

- Jonah, don't! - Other lot!
- Let's just park here, okay?

- Other lot!
- Jonah, please?

- Other lot! Other lot!
- I have to meet with Mrs. Bell

- No, no, no!
- three minutes ago!

- No, no, no! No, no, no!
- Let's just park here!

- Mom, make him stop!
- Other lot, Mama!

- Other lot!
- You know how he gets with his routine.

- Other lot!
- He doesn't like it when we do things diff...

Oh, my God! Jesus Christ!

The other lot is full!
Let's just park here.

- No! No!
- Jonah!

You happy now?

Come on.

Come on.

Hi.

Hi, Laurie.

Sorry I'm so late.

Regent was backed up
for blocks.

- Hi, Marlo.
- Hi.

Oh. Are you
on maternity leave yet?

You look like
you're about to pop.

- Yeah, Friday was my last day.
- Wow.

- Such a blessing.
- Yes.

Well, I hate to sound
like a broken record,

but I need to talk to you
about Jonah.

Miss Marvish tells me
that he is still having

a really tough time in class,
and now we're starting

to get worried about
his emotional development.

Well, kindergarten
is a tough transition.

But... it's April.

That's true, yeah.

And he's about to have
a really big disruption

in his life, too.

- The... Oh, yes. Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- No, I have thought about all of that.

Right, and look,
Jonah's a sweetheart.

We love him.

But as you know, he's an...
out-of-the-box kid.

He's... quirky.

And there are 24 other children
in the class,

and it's not fair to them
that Jonah needs

so much of the teacher's time.

- No. It's not fair. You should know,
- Yeah.

we've been working through
the meltdowns at home.

- Good.
- He's doing much better.

And doing this new therapy
on him that...

We think that Jonah could
benefit from a one-to-one aide.

That's a teacher
that's there just for him,

who shadows him during the day,

and gives him all
the extra support he requires.

- That's amazing.
- Yeah.

And so that aide
is here on staff?

No, we don't provide aides.

So I have to go out
and get aides all by myself?

Yes, you'd need
to hire this person.

I'm paying for aides?

One aide.
He just needs one aide.

Okay. I'll figure that out.

Anyway, we don't normally make
these kind of accommodations

for students at Saint V's,
but we love your family, so...

- Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
- You're welcome.

- This is gonna be great.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Have a great day, okay?

- Thank you. You, too.
- You're welcome.

- All right, bye-bye.
- Bye.

Next.

Can I, um...

All right, let me just get
a decaf skim latte.

Uh, you know there are

trace amounts of caffeine
even in decaf, right?

Huh?

Oh, this. Yeah.

Just so you know.

You still want it?

Yeah.

And a muffin.

Marlo?

Vy?

Oh.

Hey.

What are you doing out here?

Um... I'm in town
for a friend's memorial.

- Yeah, her dad passed away.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

No, don't be.
He's a dick.

What are you doing here?
You live here now?

Yeah.

Two kids.

Nothing's changed.

Yeah.

Well, I should go,
I should get this coffee home

before it gets
as cold and black as my womb.

You still got my number?

I have a old number.

Yeah, it's the same one.

I'm still on Bushwick.

You still live at the loft?

Yeah. You should
call me sometime.

- Yeah.
- Okay?

Hey, are you guys excited
to see your cousins?

- Yeah.
- Is the dog gonna be out?

Jonah, buddy.

That dog can't hurt you...
he's, like, two pounds.

What is that dog's name again?

Prosecco.

I wanna kill myself.

What?

No, Mommy's joking,
honey, like a clown.

Honk, honk.

You all right?

Is that Uncle Craig's new car?

Yeah, that's a G-Wagon.

- Can we get one?
- Nope.

You wouldn't want one.
They catch fire all the time.

Mommy's joking again.

Yeah, that's why
it's all black like that.

- Probably caught fire already.
- You're lying.

Don't get too close.

Hey!

- Hey!
- Sarah, I'm gonna steal those boots

right off your feet...
they're so cute.

- Hey, Elyse.
- Hey.

Hi, guys.
We made an obstacle course

in the playroom if you want
to come check it out.

This is Shasta, our nanny.

- Hi.
- We've got karaoke.

Yeah. We got a karaoke machine.

- Cool!
- All right.

Shasta's so awesome.

She has a master's degree
in early childhood education.

I feel like she should
be telling me what to do.

Marlo, you're glowing.

God, really? 'Cause I feel
like an abandoned trash barge.

Huh?

Oh. In the '80s,
there was this giant boat

filled with garbage
that just...

drifted up and down
the East Coast... for weeks.

They couldn't figure out
where to dump it,

so eventually, they just
docked the boat in Brooklyn,

burned all that trash.

The ninth month is tough.

- I remember I could barely make it to the gym.
- Yes!

- Let me take this.
- Yes! The Moreaus have arrived.

It's gonna be a great night.

- Drew, how are you, buddy?
- Craig. How's it going?

Great to see you. Marlo.

Yeah, I'm a personal
hug buffer now.

- Well, yeah, just what you've always wanted.
- Yeah.

It's actually kind of true.

When is your due date again?

- Monday.
- Jesus, don't have it here.

She could have it in the ofuro.

We just got
this Japanese soaking tub.

- Craig's boss gave it to us.
- Wow.

My boss once gave me the flu.

So, what are we thinking,
it's a boy or a girl?

- What's happening here?
- You know, I feel

- like it's definitely a boy.
- Marlo didn't want

to find out this time,
but I kind of wish we did.

Mid-40s,
who needs the surprise, right?

Well, you're gonna find out
any day now, so...

exciting.

Yep.

Whoa. Where...
where are the kids sitting?

Oh, they're with Shasta.

They have their own little
kid-friendly spread.

Truffle mac and cheese,
something green.

Yeah, lucky little bastards.

Wow, we can actually have
a conversation.

I know, right?

Oh.

Siri, play hip-hop.

Yeah.

Do you guys have
any chicken nuggets?

He only eats chicken nuggets.

Chicken nuggets are full
of growth hormones.

Do you know
what they do to the chickens

- at factory farms?
- What?

They slice off their beaks
with a hot blade

- so the chickens can't peck each other.
- Mm.

So, Drew, how's work going?

I'm curious about the, um...

Last time we were talking
about, um...

Yeah, nobody...
nobody gets what I do.

I, uh,
I audit organizational paths

and, uh, and systems
for workers

in a proto-corporate structure.

- Mm.
- Oh, yeah. 'Course.

That's fun.

Um, it's...
I hit a snag lately,

so it's kind of, uh,
compelling right now, but...

You're swamped,
on a big project.

Well, that and... three.

You know, the, uh,
that thing in your stomach.

Oh.

- Yeah, three kids.
- Mm.

- Crazy.
- Yep.

You're gonna love it.
We love having three.

And the third kid
is always the easiest. Right?

- Oh, yeah.
- Fred is so chill.

You can ignore him. It's fine.

Chill would be nice.

Yeah, you guys really have
your hands full with Jonah.

Um, not in a bad way.

I mean, he's such a great kid.

He's quirky.

His school wants us
to get him an aide,

'cause I guess
the teachers can't handle him.

Oh, that's awesome.

Um, that they're, you know,
recognizing his needs.

- Yeah, no, they're...
- Yeah.

they're all over it.

Marlo, remind me after dinner

I want to show you
something cool.

I've already seen the G-Wagon.

It's not the G-Wagon.

It's very cool.
You're gonna like it.

Do you like it?

When do the birds
start singing?

Okay, you know,
it was inspired by one

- of the most beautiful places I've ever been.
- Epcot?

Tahiti.

Sit down, asshole.
I'll make you a drink.

So, um, I want to talk to you.

I have an idea for a special
baby gift this time around.

- Ooh, is it money?
- No.

I don't mind money.

I'm not above that.
You know that, right?

Yeah. Do you know
what a night nanny is?

- Oh.
- Okay, you know what, everybody does it.

At least everyone
we know does it.

It's just like a regular nanny,
except they come at night.

You know, they stay over
for a few weeks, or a month,

and they take care
of the baby at night,

so Mom and Dad can get
some sleep. It's no big deal.

What? Does she breastfeed?

No, she doesn't breastfeed
your ba...

This is not feudal China.

No. She wakes you up,

so you... can, you know,

do the...

- Don't do that.
- breastfeeding,

and then you pass off the baby,

and go to sleep
when you're done.

Everybody wins.

I don't want a stranger
in my house

bonding with my newborn
every night.

That's like a Lifetime movie,

where the nanny tries
to kill the family

and the mom survives
and she has to walk

- with a cane at the end.
- Right.

Well, we had a night nanny.

I don't remember that.

The reason you
don't remember it is because...

she only came at night.

They're like ninjas...
they sneak in and out.

You barely even know
they're there.

Elyse said she was great.

Craig, please tell me

you didn't hire me
one of those people.

Oh, my God, you did.

Okay, Marlo...

you have a lot going on.

I know this kid
wasn't... planned.

And yes, yes,
it's the greatest thing

that's ever happened... he's
a miracle straight from Heaven,

blah, blah, blah, blah.

But...

I don't want
what happened last time.

Don't do that.

- Hey. I love you.
- No, seriously,

- you're being an asshole. Stop.
- Drew needs to focus

on his protostructures,
and you need to be happy...

especially for Jonah.

I-I see the way
you're looking at me.

I know you think
this is just some...

bougie thing that
only rich assholes do.

And maybe it is, okay? Maybe.

But don't forget,
I wasn't always a rich asshole.

I grew up in that same
shitty house as you did,

- same shitty parents,
- Oh, my...

same shit-brown Buick,

and I'm telling you, Marlo...

Yes.

...get over yourself.

Call her.

She comes highly recommended.

You can't just outsource
your entire life.

Sounds pretty ideal to me.

You don't have to wake up
five times a night or whatever.

You don't even wake up anyway.

Well, I don't have boobs.

Not yet.

It's not like
I could do anything.

It's fine.

It is.

You have a big year.

You know, I've got
a couple of trips coming up.

You-you think
you're gonna be okay?

- Honey?
- Hmm? What?

Where'd you go?

Did you say something?

Hi, uh, we're here
to have this baby.

You're gonna feel
a little bit of freezing, okay?

This will be a little pinch.

Three, two, one, pinch.

It's going to go nice
and numb in a sec.

Good work.

Oh, you're great.

...the collection that we're
going to see here today.

Well, tonight's theme
is Mermaid Cove,

so we're celebrating
the beauty of mermaids

with all of our models.

We have some really long...

Breathe it out. Breathe it out.

- Breathe it out.
- And go, go, go, go, go, go.

There you go.

It's a girl. It's a girl.

It's a girl.

Oh, you've got a girl.

You okay?

Hi, sweetheart.
Oh.

Hi.

Okay.

Oh, she's so sweet.

Yeah.

Marlo, she's your mini.

Look at those lips.

I wish we could stay.

We have to go
to Emmy's school talent show.

Oh, what's her talent?

Pilates.

Do you mind putting her back
in the bassinet for me?

- Oh, sure.
- Thanks.

All right, you,
take it easy, okay?

Tell Dad congrats
when he wakes up.

Yep.

- Bye.
- Bye.

So, did you end up talking

to her about the night nanny?

I did. She said
she could never let a stranger

take care of her baby.

What? So she's judging
our choices now.

I just want my sister back.

I feel like,
these last few years,

somebody snuffed a match.

Well, maybe
you should call Drew

and see if he can convince her.

Drew hates me.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, did you hear it?

That's not enough.

I peed.

Come on,
why is it so important?

If you don't pee soon,

we'll have to put
the catheter back in.

I peed.
Why don't you believe me?

It's in there, in the bowl.

Do a test or something.

You have to show me
that you can do a pee.

How much fucking pee
do you need?!

Do you want me to spray it
all over the bathroom?

Do you want
a fucking golden shower?

You need to rest, Mommy.

I have to fucking pee.

Aren't you
the most precious little...?

Where are my legs?
What's going on?

This is crazy, we're...

Mermaids!

No, no, no!

Okay, let go, I'm late.

Jonah, I'm late.

Hey.

- Hi.
- Thanks, Dallas.

Oh, so we have
a little visitor today, huh?

Yeah, she's sleeping.

Okay.

So, we're coming up on the end
of the kindergarten year,

and I just wanted to talk
to you about Mr. Jonah.

Look, we're, um, getting
the aide, the one aide.

Just got to figure out
how we're gonna pay for it.

Well, when you guys applied,

we did express some concern
about whether

or not Saint Vitus was
the right fit for Jonah,

but we love your family and we
have such a great relationship

- with your brother and his wife.
- I understand.

- What?
- I get it, Laurie,

I'm only here
because of my brother.

No, that's not true, actually.

They're big donors,
they called in a favor.

Yeah, okay.

We think Jonah might be better
served at a different school.

You're expelling him?

No, Marlo,
expulsion is a punishment.

We like to think of this
as a dismissal.

There are places

that are better suited
to kids like Jonah.

What does that mean,
"kids like Jonah"?

Well, he's quirky

- and he needs...
- Oh, my God,

what is this "quirky" thing

everybody keeps saying?
It's so stupid.

What does it even mean?

Do I have a kid
or a fucking ukulele?

Just say what you mean.

You think Jonah is retarded.

- No.
- Yes, and he's ruining it

for everybody in
his class who's reading, like,

"The Iliad"
or whatever the fuck they read!

I'm sorry
about my retarded son, Laurie.

Oh, I'm sorry, quirky, 'cause
he's a fucking pocket watch.

- Fuck this!
- No, no, no.

- Jonah is bright, he's great.
- Oh, my God.

- It's just not the right fit, Marlo.
- Just say what you mean.

- You hate my kid!
- What?!

- You hate us!
- We don't hate you.

- We don't hate your kid.
- Oh, my God.

It's just not the right fit.

Dallas, would you please
walk her out?

Don't fucking touch me, Dallas.

- I wasn't.
- Look, I... no, you need to calm down.

I'm not letting you leave
like this.

I leave like this every day.

Every day.

You just don't see it.
This is the real me

when I'm not licking
your asshole.

Surprise!

Oh!

She's fine.

Fuck!

Just take it.

Please, please, just take it.

Hey, guys.

Hi, Daddy!

- Hi.
- Hi.

Ooh.

Oh, give me a smile.

You got a smile for Daddy?

Yeah, that's Daddy's smile.

Hey, frozen pizza, awesome.

Um...

I thought we weren't doing
screen time.

I mean, uh, it's fine by me,
it's-it's your rule.

Listen, I decided to call
that night nanny.

You did?

- Oh.
- Yeah, why?

Uh, no, I mean, uh, it's...

You know,
Craig's paying for it.

He's probably going
to lord that over us.

No, you're right,
I'll just cancel it.

You do your thing.

I'll just be down here
and make another pot of coffee,

- never sleep at all.
- No.

I-I-I didn't mean that,
I just...

Are you okay?

Hey, guys, is Mommy okay?

I don't know.

She's coming at 10:30.

Jonah.

Mom, what's wrong
with your body?

So, is that what you're into?

You're into a little, uh...

You're into a little, uh...

I love spanking women

during the act of,
you know, making love.

I guess a little spanking isn't
making love? I don't know.

You've got a great ass.

Oh, God.

Hello.

I'm Tully.

You must be Marlo.

Yes.

May I come in?

Yeah.

Oh.

Who's this?

Oh, you mean the baby?

Yeah, what's her name?

Her name is Mia.

Mia.

Yeah, it was my Mom's name.

I was always gonna use it,

but then it became,
like, really popular and...

There's two Mias
in my son's class.

Who cares?

What?

Who cares if it's popular?

It's a beautiful name.

I'm sorry, how old are you?

I didn't... I don't mean...
I just didn't expect...

No, I, I get it a lot.

Um, I'm older than I look.

Oh, I don't... um...

What?

How does this normally work?

Well, how would
you like it to work?

Uh, I don't know.

Okay.

I'm here to take care of you.

I thought you were taking care
of the baby.

Yeah, but you pretty much
are the baby.

I mean, even though this one's

been earth-side
for three weeks,

her DNA is still inside of you.

Right, yeah.

No, actually her cells
will hang around

in your bloodstream for years,

and though Mia here will be
her own person someday,

right now she's still very much
an extension of you.

She knows your smell,
your voice, your heartbeat.

And you know her
better than anyone.

I mean, you built her
from the toes up.

And so to bed.

What?

Samuel Pepys.

He had a diary
during the English Restoration.

Right, Samuel Pepys.

Yeah.

I'll settle in
down here with Mia.

You go upstairs
and get some rest.

Should I show you
how to do the...?

No, we got a place to sleep,
we got diapers.

We're good.

Right?

Yes.

Okay.

I'll come wake you up
when she's ready to nurse.

Oh, okay.

Night.

What the...?

Hey.

The night nanny's downstairs.

Oh, what's she like?

Weird.

What?

Weird.

Are we just gonna leave
her down there with Mia?

Yeah, I guess.

Okay.

Jonah, stop.

Jonah! Stop it!

Jonah, stop!

Oh, my God.

Mommy.

- Tully.
- What?

Hi. Shh.

- Yeah, easy, easy.
- Hi.

She's ready for you.

- Okay. Mm-hmm.
- Good?

May I?

Okay.

- Good?
- Yeah.

Why is the house so clean?

So, wait,

she was in our bedroom
last night?

Yeah.

She brought Mia over to nurse

and then she just sat
in the shadows

waiting for me to finish.

Hmm, creepy.

How did I not wake up?

God, I can't imagine.

And then she went downstairs

and chiseled eight years
of filth off the floors.

I know.

- Maybe she's nocturnal.
- Huh.

Yeah, like Sarah's hamster.

You remember that thing?

God.

The wheel all night long.

- She ate her own young.
- Hey.

Mom, I need water.

- The game hasn't started yet.
- So? I'm thirsty.

Anyway, it was like
she took over.

She just, she knew exactly
what to do.

So, like me in bed.

No, she makes eye contact.

So, how do you feel?

Honestly?

I can't remember the last time
I slept like that.

I mean...

it's like I can
see color again.

Can we keep her?

She's not a dog.

...is trying to figure out

what my clients really need.

One thing about Billie is this.

She just wants
what we all want

which is companionship
and love.

And I think she's into
a man's man.

She likes a guy

that's not afraid
to get dirty.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Good evening.

Thank you for cleaning
the house the other day.

You really...

you really didn't
have to do that.

No, I enjoyed it.

I'm like Saudi Arabia...
I have an energy surplus.

Oh, all right.

- What's this?
- Oh, God.

I'm sorry. That, um...

No, what is it?

It's, um...

it's a reality TV show
called Gigolos.

What's it about?

Gigolos.

Who's he?

That's Brace.

He's the oldest of the gigolos.

And women pay
to sleep with him?

Well, no. He aged out,

so they gave him a position
in upper management and...

Oh.

You know what, I am going to

turn this off.

No, no, no, don't, please.
You're enjoying it.

Oh, no, I was just,
it was on TV.

Marlo...

you can't be
self-conscious of me.

This won't work if you are.

I'm just not used to people
doing things for me.

That's all.

Okay.
Just pretend I'm Brace.

Uh, well,
you're more of an Ash.

He's this Tantric
Indian gigolo.

Practices, uh, meditation
and speaks Japanese.

Kon'nichiwa.

Okay, I'm gonna go upstairs.

Okay.

- Watch a movie with Drew.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- Have fun.

Yeah.

Oh, I can put on headphones

if you guys want
to make some noise.

Oh, no, we don't...

I'm...

- We're good.
- Okay.

Hey, kiss good night.

She'll be different
in the morning.

That's sweet.

No. She will.
She'll grow a little overnight.

So will we.

Hey, baby,
say good night to Mommy?

- Good night.
- Good night.

Hi.

Oh... oh, God.

She's got a strong latch.

Yeah, she's a barnacle.

Okay, so if she's a barnacle,

are you a boat
or are you a whale?

I don't know.

Well, barnacles hurt boats,
but they don't hurt whales.

- Oh.
- If a barnacle latches onto a whale, it's harmless.

It's just this little
obligate parasite

doing its thing.

Does she look like
your other kids?

Yeah.

She looks a lot like
my daughter, Sarah.

What's Sarah like?

She's eight.

She's getting at this age

where she's starting to be
really hard on herself.

It makes me nervous 'cause
it doesn't get any easier

for girls, you know?

No, it doesn't.

What about Jonah?

Jonah's great.

I mean, he's exhausting.

We don't really know
what his deal is.

We've seen three
different doctors

and all they can really tell us
is that he's atypical.

He's got all these strange
behaviors and anxieties.

We...

we brush him like...

I brush his body at night,
like a horse.

Why?

I don't know,
his therapist told us

it's supposed to reduce
his sensitivities

to everyday things.

Oh.

We can't afford
the therapist anymore,

so I just watched
these YouTube videos

and figured out how to do it.

It's called Wilbarger's Brush Protocol.

Protocol.

Sounds official.

Officially shitty.

Well, you seem
like a great mom.

Great moms organize class
parties and casino night.

They bake cupcakes
that look like Minions.

All the things
I'm just too tired to do.

Honestly, even getting dressed
just feels exhausting.

I open my closet

and I just think,
didn't I just do this?

Yeah, but that's the downside
of living on a planet

with a short solar day.

Although Jupiter
is even shorter.

You're like a book of fun facts
for unpopular fourth graders.

What do you do?

- Human resources with a company that makes protein bars.
- Oh.

My English lit degree
really paid off.

Okay.

Uh, so, what did you
want to do?

I don't... I mean, if I had
a dream that didn't come true,

I could at least be pissed off
at the world.

Instead I'm just pissed off
at myself.

You're empty.

Yeah.

No, you're empty on this side.

She's done.

- Oh.
- Here, I'll take her.

Okay.

Hi, little bear.

Hi, little doll.

Marlo?

Hmm?

I'm here to help you
with everything,

not just Mia.

You can't fix the parts
without treating the whole.

Yeah, no one's treated
my whole

in a really long time.

Oh.

My baby.

Are we going to have
a good day today?

Meow.

Ooh, are you a little kitten?

Meow.

What the...?

Hi.

Is it okay
if we bring in treats?

They're nut-free.

My mommy made them.

I want cupcakes.

I am gonna steal this one.

- No!
- Yes.

- Hey, Mia. Mia.
- I want one.

- Okay.
- I want one.

Hi.

- Oh.
- I'm here to apologize for the other day.

I brought an olive branch
of sorts.

Actually, it's a cupcake,

but who wants
an olive branch, right?

Sorry, Dallas,
I only brought one.

And, look,

about the Jonah thing,
I-I get it.

You know, sometimes it just
doesn't... it's not a fit.

You know, you'll find
the right place.

Yeah.

We will.

Chapter three
of I Hate Rules!

"Katie Kazoo decides

there should be
no more rules at school."

- So, what are the consequences?
- I don't know.

What about George?
He has ten desserts.

What happens then?

Come on, guys. Dinner.

Oh, my God.

Are you shocked that
I can roast a chicken?

- I am, actually.
- It's so easy.

You just take a bunch of lemon

and you shove it
into the cavity,

a little salt and pepper

- and you're good to go.
- Hmm.

Is the cavity the butt?

Honey, that's gross.
It's not the butt.

What is it?

It's just the gaping hole

where the chicken's organs
used to be.

Hand me the bread.

- That's worse than a butt.
- I know, Sarah.

It's murder.

Ah, there she is.

Hey.

Where's Mia?

How was your day?

Good.

Oh, God, I'm sorry.
I'm starving.

So, what do you do
during the day?

The same thing I do every day,

try to take over the world.

Oh, God.

No, I'm just pretty much
napping mostly.

Wow. God, that's nice.

Hi.

Hi, little bear.

Hey, thanks for those cupcakes.

- No problem.
- Oh...

All right,
I will be in my quarters.

Night-night.

Hi, little bear.

Oh, you're starting
to look like Ma.

And one day he packed his bags
and left.

Yeah.

I have an early flight.

Portland?

Phoenix.

A server farm.

They got me
on a rinky-dink airline

with no seat assignments,

so I just want to
get there early.

Um...

- Are you guys gonna be good?
- Mm-hmm.

Is she okay?

Yeah.

- Um...
- Oh...

So how are you feeling?

I feel fine.

- Yeah.
- Hmm.

Okay, good.

- Okay.
- Good.

All right.

Are you excited about
the new school?

- I'm scared.
- That's okay.

I'm a grown-up, and even I find
new things scary all the time.

- Like your new baby?
- I'm not scared of the baby.

What's going on?

I have to pee.

Oh, God.

Okay, come.
Quick, quick, quick.

Are you sure
nobody's gonna flush?

Nobody's in there.

Nobody's gonna flush,
I promise.

I don't want it to be loud.

Oh, my God.
Jonah, nobody's in there!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I didn't know it was automatic!

Jonah! Jonah!

Jonah, stop!

Jonah. Jonah, stop.

The world is full
of loud toilets.

The world is a loud toilet.
Please, shh.

- Hey.
- Hi.

What's going on, little fella?

Sorry.

He just gets freaked out
by certain noises.

I'm sorry, we're... We'll go.

No, no, you don't have to go.

Hey.

How about you and me hang out
and be trees for a bit?

Is that okay?

Hmm?

Okay.

Can you bring your foot
up like this?

You want to give me
some branches?

That's good stuff.

Big breath in.

Now you blow out
through the leaves.

That's better, right?

You don't have to apologize.

You don't have to leave,

'cause you didn't
do anything wrong.

Oh, come on.

Have fun in class.

- Mom?
- Hmm?

Why do you wear makeup now?

I guess I just want
to look nice sometimes.

Why? You don't like it?

I like it.
You just look different.

Like Draculaura.

Which one is Draculaura again?

She's Dracula's daughter
from Monster High.

Hmm. Monster High.

That's high school
for monsters, right?

Yeah.

What's Draculaura's
story again?

She's 1,600 years old.

Mm. Sounds about right.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

What?

Oh, it's milk.

I make milk.

Is this sangria?

Yeah.

Yeah, it always
reminds me of college.

You see, you are a homemaker.

- Because I made sangria?
- Mm-hmm.

You know they make sangria
in prison toilets, right?

I know. They call it pruno.

Shall we?

Okay.

No shit. I knew a guy
who had one of these once.

- He filled it with water.
- Oh.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Does Drew ever ask about me?

Yeah. I mean, he finds
the whole thing a little weird.

Yeah.

Does he like being a dad?

Sure.

The way dads do.

I mean, he works really hard
and then he comes home.

He does the homework,
the reading logs, all that.

We make lunches together,
and then he goes upstairs,

puts on a headset,
kills zombies and passes out.

And you guys don't ever...?

- Have sex?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, no, not in months.

I mean, it's like
we both want dinner,

we just can't pick a restaurant
or even decide if we're hungry.

Oh. Well, why don't you guys
just talk about it?

Are you in a relationship?

Yeah. I'm in several.

I used to be like that.

Yeah.

I rode every horse on
the carousel until I met Drew.

And... which horse was Drew?

Drew was the bench.

But you love him.

- Yeah.
- Oh.

Definitely.

I know I picked
the right person.

So why don't you guys have sex?

I hold a baby all day,

and it's me and her
and it's primal.

We're like two gorillas
at the zoo.

And then nighttime rolls around
and I'm supposed to just

switch gears like...

hello, all sexy now.

Look at my boobs.
They're all sexual.

It's...

I get that.

Of course you do.

I like Drew.

- No.
- I do.

I mean, what I know about him.

I don't want my kids
to grow up like I did.

I had three stepmothers.

It was...

- It was crazy.
- Okay.

So then we need to fix this.

Because Drew needs
his battery charged.

- His battery?
- His battery.

What kind of...
stuff is he into?

I-I checked
his browser history once,

and it was
pretty basic stuff.

Like?

What?

What? Tell me. I have to know.

What is it?

He'd kill me.

Is it weird?
Is it weird?

No, it's... no.

He just, when he was
in high school,

he worked at this diner,
and he was washing dishes,

and-and all the waitresses
would wear

- those little outfits with the hat and...
- Yeah.

He's just always had a fantasy
about that ever since.

Oh, that's it?

- Yeah.
- Oh, okay, good.

- What?
- I don't know.

I thought it was something
really fucking sinister.

Us? No.

I actually bought
one of the little uniforms

a while back,
thinking, you know,

I'd put it on and surprise him.

- Uh-huh?
- And I just never got around to it.

Well, why?

I just didn't.

And now my...

legs have veins, my tits have
veins, my veins have veins.

I don't know, my body looks
like a relief map

for a war-torn country.

Do you still have the uniform?

Yeah.

Where is it?

This is amazing.

Let me see.

Patty melt?

Yeah. No.

You're keeping that.

- Wow.
- Oh, my gosh.

You have had zero kids.

Should I leave it on
when we go upstairs?

Upstairs?

Uh-huh.

- You're joking.
- Mm-mm.

Wait.

Come on.

Oh, wait.
Is this a '50s diner?

I want to be period accurate.

No, it's just a regular diner.

Okay. And am I sassy?

No, just be like
a friendly waitress

who's nice
and doesn't talk too much.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Hi there.

Hey.

I don't believe we've met.

Is it... Marlo...

If you're not familiar
with our menu,

I recommend the egg cream.

What's going on?

It's okay, Drew.
Just go with it.

We also have a wonderful
selection of pastries,

and I just put on
a hot pot of coffee.

Okay.

I'll tell you what he likes.

Thank you.

I'm just a trainee.

- Hi, Elmo.
- Oh, hi, Zoe.

You want to talk to a friend?

Um...

Are we gonna talk
about last night?

We don't have to.

- Okay.
- Okay.

It was pretty great.

Yeah?

Yeah. You-you kidding me?

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, Jo-Jo.

I had a dream about a camel.

You did?
Were you in the desert?

No, I was in my house.

That's silly.
Hey, you want some pancakes?

- Yes.
- All right.

Should we try and make
Mickey Mouse?

The last time we tried,
he only had one ear.

Today is a two-ear day.

I can feel it.

Uh-oh.

Hey, you guys were right.
We should've listened.

- About what?
- The night nanny.

Mm. You called her.

Dude, it's a game changer.

I didn't think Marlo
was gonna come around.

Yeah.

She seems really... awake.

Yeah, it's actually
kind of weird.

Stevie Nicks! Stevie!

It's too dark.

No, lighter. Lighter, lighter.

- Lighter, lighter.
- No, it's good enough.

- Lighter.
- Okay, can you stop?

Lighter. Lighter.

Darker, darker.

- Lighter. Lighter.
- Dark. Dark.

- Lighter. Lighter.
- Dark.

Perfect.

- Hey.
- Hey. Sorry I'm late.

It won't happen again,
I promise.

It's fine.

Hey, what's wrong?

Nothing, I'm just in sort of
a fucked-up relationship.

Which one?

My roommate.

Yeah. She's, uh... she's
a troublemaker.

Oh, historically, those have
been my favorite people.

She just freaks out
every time I bring a guy home.

Is she religious or something?

Spends a lot of time
kneeling in front of a toilet.

Can you get your own place?

We're kind of... enmeshed.

Just don't make it personal.

Why don't you just tell her
you want a change of scenery?

Why? Why do I
have to lie to her?

Why can't I just be honest

and say that we're better off
without each other?

Because you'll hurt her.

And if you hurt her,
you'll regret it.

Girls don't heal.

Girls heal.

No, we don't.

We might look like
we're all better,

but if you look close,
we're covered in concealer.

Fuck.

Can we go out?

- Like in the backyard? Yeah.
- No, no, no.

Like out out, to the city.

New York?

Yeah. Let's get a drink.

Who's gonna look after Mia?

Uh, she still has a father,
doesn't she?

Look, Mia's been
sleeping through the night

for the past week.

Drew won't even realize
that we're gone.

Tully, take the night off.

Seriously.
I-I am gonna be fine.

Okay, Marlo, you need
to take the night off.

You can't be a good mother if
you don't practice self-care.

We deserve this.

How does getting
shit-wrecked in Manhattan

qualify as self-care?

You're right.

We'll go to Brooklyn.

I still think
we should have Ubered it.

I told you,
I'll be the chauffeur.

So we'll have
a couple of drinks

and then I'll drive us home.

Why are you so nice to me?

You trusted me with Mia's life.

That's real.
That means something.

Hmm, I guess so.

And I trusted you with mine.

How's that?

You could have murdered me.

Why would I murder you?

Admit it,
you've thought about it.

That is a fucked up thing
to joke about.

It is!

Oh, my God.

I need bourbon.

Bourbon's my drink.

This is it.

This... this is
my old neighborhood.

God, I lived here
for nine years.

Whoa, your molecules
are everywhere.

It used to not be
this nice, though.

Look, that's a bakery for dogs.

What'd it used to be?

A bakery for humans.

- Cool.
- I know.

People ate flour back then.

Hi. Sorry.

Two Maker's, neat.

Sure.
Want water with that?

No, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

Okay.

Hmm.

God.

I remember when guys used to
look at me like that.

He was looking at you.

Nobody wants to
fuck mommy, okay?

There is an entire
genre of porn

dedicated to exactly that.

So, let's say you take
a wooden ship

and you replace one plank
every year.

Well, eventually the ship

will be made up of
entirely new planks.

There'll be nothing left
of the original ship.

So, is it still the same ship
or is it a new ship?

New ship.

- Why?
- It just is.

Nothing is the same.
It's a new ship, baby.

Nouveau bateau.

Okay.

So, what about people?

Most of the cells in your body
have divided and regenerated

since you were a baby.

Then I guess I'm just not me
without my original parts.

Well, there's one part of us
that actually can't regenerate.

What's that?

The hearing cells.

In your ears.

Yeah, they can't grow back.

Oh, no, this is, like,

- one of my favorite songs.
- I know.

Mine, too.
That's why I played it.

I used to listen to this
with Violet all the time.

We used to live together
here in Bushwick,

a long time ago.

But, like, this was our jam.

- You know?
- Yeah.

Oh, I loved her.

I was...
I was really in love with her.

I wanted...

- Oh, God.
- What?

- Are you okay?
- Fine.

I want to tell you
something and I...

- No, I have to go first.
- Whoa.

Really?
It better be really good,

- 'cause I'm, like, laying my shit out here.
- Yeah.

I have to leave.

Where?

Uh, I can't work for you
anymore.

Sorry, I didn't want to
tell you at the house.

Wait, you're quitting?

No, you can't quit.

I have to.

What, is it another family
or something?

'Cause I just need you to stay

a little bit lo-longer,
you know?

'Cause I need your help.

Please.

I can't.

Marlo.

Oh, Marlo.

Oh.

Where are you going?

- Let me drive you home.
- You can't drive!

Yes, I'm fine.

- I promise.
- No, let's just...

- let's leave the car here and take a cab.
- No.

- Drew's gonna be angry.
- Why are you doing this?

Why are you leaving?

Why?

I was just here
to bridge a gap.

It's time for me to move on.

Right.

I bet you have big plans.

I mean, your 20s are great.

They are, but then your 30s
come around the corner

like a garbage truck
at 5:00 a.m.

Yeah.

What are you gonna do when that
cute little butt of yours drops

and your feet
grow a half a size

with each pregnancy, and this
whole free spirit thing...

it stops being charming.

And it just starts
to look ugly.

I'm not afraid of the future.

Oh, my God.
You should be.

You're convinced that
you're this failure,

but you actually made
your biggest dream come true.

- Oh, my... what?
- That sameness

that you despise.

That's your gift to them.

Waking up every day
and doing the same things

for them over and over.

You... are boring.
Your marriage is boring.

Your house is boring,
but that's fucking incredible!

That's the big dream,

to grow up and be dull
and constant,

and then raise your kids
in that circle of safety.

I'm not safe.
I'm scared!

Marlo!

Where are we going?!

To my old place!

You don't live there anymore!

What, there's
a fucking lobby now?

And furniture?

- Let's go home.
- No, no, no.

Violet still lives here.

She's gonna let us in.

And she's gonna like you a lot.

So, just get ready for that.

I wish I could

let you stay and go up, but...

- there's no there anymore.
- No, no, no, no, no.

It's right there. Look.

Come on. Let's go.

What?

Hey, this was your idea.

Why the fuck did you
bring me out here then?

We just came too far out.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Whoa.

Hold on.

- Oh!
- Oh, you're really full.

- Oh, I need Mia. Oh, fuck.
- Okay.

Let's go home and
I'll-I'll breastfeed her.

No, you're not gonna feed Mia.

You're hammered.

- Um...
- I miss her.

- No, I'm...
- You're gonna see her soon.

I know, but she won't
be the same tomorrow.

You said that,
and I don't want her to grow.

Yeah, you do.

Okay, come here, come here.
Let me get you.

Okay.

We're gonna go in here.

Come on, let's-let's go.

Excuse me.

Oh, please, excuse me.

Okay.

Take it off.

Okay.

Oh, God.

- Uh-uh.
- No?

Oh, my...

Oh, God.

One second!
We're performing a miracle!

Okay.

Ah, fuck.

Okay. Maybe...

Oh...

Okay.

It's not working.

Okay, here.

Okay.

Just gonna... do a compress.

It'll be like a baby's mouth.

Let me sit down.

Here, come down.

Okay. Ready?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Now I'm just gonna squeeze,
okay?

Just a little rubbing motion
like always.

Okay.

Ow! Ow.

- Fuck. Ow!
- It's okay. Just one more.

- Ow!
- Okay, it's all right.

God.

All right.

Ow! Shit.

Okay.

There you go.

Oh, yeah.
That feels good.

Oh, yeah.

- Stay awake.
- Mm.

- I'm so tired.
- I know, I know.

But I need you to stay with me.

Just...

let's have a conversation.

All we do is converse.

We're like the people
from a Spanish textbook.

Maria and Julio,
they never shut up.

Oh, what am I going to do
without you?

You're gonna take care
of yourself.

You're gonna...
take a shower every day.

You're gonna... floss.

You know, you're gonna
get a pedicure

every once in a while

even though you hate
having your feet touched.

That's so corny.

Look, we're almost home.

You have a warm bed
and you have three babies.

The creaky stair.

The world's weakest shower.

It's home.

Almost there.

Hi. You are Marlo's husband?

Yeah.
Hi. I'm Drew.

I'm Dr. Smythe. I'm on
the psychiatric staff here.

I'd like to talk
to you about Marlo.

Can we step outside?

Okay.

Does she have a history
of mental illness?

No.

Well...

okay, I mean I guess there was
some pretty bad depression

when our son was born,

but, I-I mean...

i-i-it's completely different
this time.

She's been great.
She's been amazing.

And you know, uh,
her-her brother

sprang for a night nanny,

so she's getting help,
she's getting sleep, she's...

Actually, we think
she's experiencing

extreme exhaustion
and sleep deprivation.

Okay.

I mean, I...

I don't know how.

It seems like she's better
than she's ever been.

I mean, I guess there's been
a couple of moments

that have been
ou-out of character.

Uh...

you know,
I wouldn't ever expect her

to drive drunk
like that, you know,

or leave the house
without telling me

so no one's watching the kids.

Well, weren't you home?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.
I was home.

And what about
the night nanny?

Uh, no.

I don't know where she was.

I actually don't really know
that much about her.

Uh, do you mind if I get back?
I kind of...

Yeah. Actually they just need
you to finish up some paperwork

at this window right here
and then we'll reconvene.

Okay. Thank you.

Uh, Marlo Moreau.

Yes.

Do you have
your insurance card?

Yeah, I do.

Hey, Drew. How we doing?

Hey.

Um... I don't...

I don't know
what the hell's going on.

And the patient's
date of birth.

Uh, 6-7-77.

Can we see her?

- Are you still at the same address?
- Yeah.

- She's, uh... she's still out.
- What is her maiden name?

So I think...
Uh, Tully.

T-U-L-L-Y.

All right.
What-what can we do for you?

And the last four digits
of her social.

Y-You're doing it.
Um...

Hey.

You look a little beat up.

Well, you should see the river.

So, obviously, we can't
see each other anymore.

I don't want you to go.

Well, I was really just here

to get you through
the danger zone.

Yeah, and what am I supposed
to do now?

Uh, you'll do
what you have to do.

And then you'll do it again.

If I'm older,
why are you so much wiser?

Because I'm 26.

All I have
is time to think about stuff.

Such a shame
you're gonna forget it all

after three pregnancies.

Not...

I just started learning
Italian. Do I forget that?

You'll never get past
"good evening."

- Mm...
- Sorry.

Oh.

Thank you for keeping me alive.

The same.

Ciao.

Ciao.

Hi.

Hi.

Marlo, I'm so sorry.

- Why are you sorry?
- I'm just so sorry

- that I let this happen.
- You didn't do anything.

No, I know,
and that's the problem, okay?

I just... I...

I got overwhelmed
with the kids and-and-and work,

and I just, I wasn't
taking care of you, and I'm...

I-I didn't understand
what was going on at night.

I thought you...
I thought you were doing great.

I was doing great. I mean...

wasn't I great?

No, fuck that!

I don't... That's not...

I don't want
that kind of great.

All right?
I just... I just want you.

I just want you to be okay.

You know, if you want to...

run off or something, I...

I mean, I get that, I...

'cause I want to do that
too, sometimes,

but I'm not gonna.

I love us.

I love us, too.

All right. You ready?

Okay. Come sit down.

Let's do your arms.

Okay.

You ready?

Mom, is this real?

What do you mean?

I'm not sure
what it's supposed to do.

Well, honestly, I don't know.

Do you like it when we do it?

I like being by you.

I like being by you, too.

And it feels nice, I guess.

Well, maybe
it's all that matters.

Maybe we don't need the brush.

Okay.

Okay.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Subtitles by explosiveskull
Resync by GoldenBeard