Original subtitles

So, the trial starts today,

and a person's life is on the line... mine.

I've laid down roots in East Peck.

I bought a new house...

...with recently installed cannonball-proof windows.

And all of this goes away if my client is found guilty.

The good news is Lavinia Peck-Foster

is the most popular woman in town.

The bad news is she's also a petty criminal

with the alias Ronnie Del Mundo.

Excuse me, Josh.

- Our new business cards are here. - Oh, great.

This was supposed to say "Josh Segal and Associates."

Yep, but they charge by the letter,

so I used a common abbreviation.

I think it tells people exactly who we are.

It certainly does.

Mmm. Mmm!

These are fantastic, Houseboy.

What do you call them?

Pears.

- Speaking of names... - Mmm!

...why were you arrested

using the fake name Ronnie Del Mundo?

Ronnie Del Mundo was not a fake name.

He was my family's flag boy when I was a child.

And he was my first friend.

Mother never allowed me to leave Peck Gardens,

so I spent most of my time with our staff.

Ah, dear Ronnie.

And see that tree right there, perfect for a swing?

Mother wouldn't let me have one,

so Ronnie built me an imaginary swing.

Oh, how high I would pretend to go.

And do you see these tire marks right here, right here?

Three feet before was where Ronnie

was flattened by a milk truck.

Ronnie died doing what he loved most...

screaming in front of a car.

Anyway, his loss hurt me so greatly that I...

I never learned another employee's name.

Does that answer your question, Lawyer?

The problem is that Ronnie Del Mundo

is the beneficiary on Edgar's insurance.

It looks like you were trying to hide

the fact you'd benefit from his death.

I didn't even know about it.

I'm sure Edgar changed the policy

so I wouldn't have to pay taxes.

Is that a crime?

My ass's and I have our work cut out for us.

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Okay. We're still in good shape.

The main thing we have going for us is...

White board. Marker. Fingers.

- I don't know! - Just tell us! You're hurting him.

The timeline.

It proves that Lavinia

didn't have the opportunity to kill Edgar.

Yes, Anne? You have a question?

No. Why?

Oh.

I have a condition called St. Vitus Dance,

which causes me to uncontrollably raise my hand.

It's how I accidentally joined the Marines for three years.

Semper Fi.

Okay. The other thing

we have going for us is Lavinia's good name.

Now, that makes it extremely important

that Carol Anne Keane does not find out

that Lavinia has a criminal alias named Ronnie Del Mundo.

As your lead investigator,

- your secret is safe with me. - Thank you, Dwayne.

But as a member of the EPPD, I already told Carol Anne.

Working for both the prosecution and the defense,

I'm forced to wear a lot of hats.

Sometimes I wear my East Peck PD hat.

Sometimes I wear my investigator hat.

Sometimes I just like to have fun.

This one, perfect conversation starter.

Dwayne, they want to talk to you in HR.

See what I mean?

Come on, Dwayne!

You have to either think or tell me first.

Okay, I'll tell you first.

I have never been more focused.

My opponent for District Attorney, Atticus Ditto Jr.,

is trying to play gender politics.

I, however, am running as the "Tough on Crime" candidate,

which is why I've hired a campaign manager

to help get my message across.

It's supposed to say "Tough on Crime."

Yes, but this makes more sense with the laundry basket.

Why is there a laundry basket?

To... To hide your baby bump.

We don't want to remind people that you are a woman.

Come take off my shoe and throw it at yourself, please.

This is a bench trial.

That means I won't have to worry about doing

all the razzle-dazzle for the jurors,

and I can just present the facts of the case.

Although, I did go to Magic Camp one summer, so...

there might be...

a little razzle-dazzle.

The people will show

the defendant had cause to kill her husband

because she knew she'd receive a $50 million insurance payout

through her alias, Ronnie Del Mundo.

Can we prove that she murdered her husband?

Yes. We. Keane.

That was awesome!

- Don't talk to me. - Okay.

Your Honor, Lavinia Peck-Foster

did not murder her beloved husband.

The clock imprint made on Edgar's head

shows that he was struck at 8:00 p.m., North Peck Time.

His wristwatch stopped when it hit the river at 8:15.

That would mean that Lavinia

only had 15 minutes to kill Edgar,

drag him to the river in the middle of her gala

where she was the center of attention.

No, no, no.

If she didn't have the time,

she didn't commit the crime.

Please state your name and occupation.

Truman Derks.

Proprietor of East Peck Casualty and Casual Tees Insurance.

Please tell the court who the beneficiary was

on Edgar Foster's insurance policy.

That would be Ronnie Del Mundo.

Let the record show Ronnie Del Mundo

is the known criminal alias for Lavinia Peck-Foster.

Ronnie was my friend.

He left an indelible mark

on my heart and my driveway.

Objection! Shh.

Your Honor, Edgar only put

the policy in Ronnie Del Mundo's name

so that Lavinia could avoid paying taxes,

which it turns out is not a crime

for the rich in Peck County.

Withdrawn. Mr. Derks, can you tell me

when the policy was put into Ronnie Del Mundo's name?

A month ago.

It was changed from the longtime beneficiary, Klocks 4 Kids.

Klocks 4 Kids was a wonderful organization.

It combined two of Edgar's favorite things...

antique clocks and poor children.

Look at that!

You get a vintage 1885 Jolivian Porcelain Clock

from North Peck's very own Edgar Foster.

What would you like to say to Mr. Foster?

I'm so hungry.

They really did do the Lord's work.

So, in your expert opinion,

as an insurance/tee-shirt salesman,

who else besides Edgar

would have had the authority to make that change?

Uh, the only other person would be his wife,

Lavinia Peck-Foster.

Lavinia. Peck. Foster.

Mr. Derks, can you point out

Lavinia Peck-Foster in this courtroom?

Over here, dear.

Can you please tell the court

if the woman who inexplicably identified herself

came into change Edgar's life insurance policy?

Uh, no. She did not.

Uh, no! She did... not.

So, in your expert opinion, it was not Lavinia Peck-Foster

who changed Edgar's life insurance policy.

She could have. The changes were mailed in.

Mr. Derks, I find it hard to believe

that a person would be allowed

to just mail in changes to a legal document.

Uh, you... you can if you get it notarized.

Oh, well, then I am pretty sure

the notary will be able to tell us who made the changes.

You could ask her yourself. Uh, she's right there.

Oh! Hey, Truman!

I didn't even recognize you.

It's Truman Derks.

No further... damage.

So, there is every chance

that it was Lavinia who made that change.

- Every chance? - Mm-hmm.

Sure.

So, day one of the trial, not so great for us.

It's okay.

Today Carol Anne Keane brings

a handwriting expert into court.

Cool! Like a carnival.

Oh, I was conceived at a carnival!

No. Guys.

I need you to find

the clock used to kill Edgar.

Once we have that, it will secure our timeline.

We already searched the property twice.

Anne, do you have an idea?

Oh, sorry. No.

Yes.

Maybe the murderer tried to sell it.

That's a great idea.

Where would you sell something like that in town?

Well, I'd go straight to E-Bay.

Could be. Go online and check it out.

Oh, I highly doubt E-Bay's got a website.

He's not the most tech-savvy guy in the world.

Eric Baymore, also known as "E-Bay,"

runs a local auction house.

He's a good guy, but he is in massive debt

to his loan shark, Payton Palermo.

And it never ends well when you take money from Pay-Pal.

Today, I go for the kill.

I will not let anyone or any...

Wow! Charley horse! It's a Charley horse, everybody.

I have been experiencing some occasional

pregnancy-related Charley horses.

It is a small price to pay for the privilege

of bringing this beautiful little...

son of a Son of a

Mr. Poisson, what is your background?

Two years working with state and local law enforcement

as a graphologist,

and nine years on the carnival circuit.

Oh, which carnivals exactly?

State Fair, Pumpkin Fest, Purim.

Oh!

Mr. Poisson, could you please take a look

at Edgar Foster's signature

for when he first took out his life insurance policy?

Edgar's writing...

Well, it uses confident and assured pen strokes.

It's the work of a man with tiny hands, but a big ego.

Boy, he nailed it.

And what about the sample from a month ago

when the beneficiary was changed to Ronnie Del Mundo?

Well, this is very shaky and disjointed.

Uh, this is what we in the handwriting and carny biz

would call "fugly."

Oh, I see.

So, is it your expert opinion

as a handwriting analyst and carny

that these two signatures do not match?

Winna!

Neckup fersellin wegodda allmos newbay beebleeter.

Wegonnastar tatta pairafranklin.

- Hey, Anne. - Hi, Dwayne.

Hey there, E-Bay.

You see this come through here?

Now, where did I see this?

Fi!

Sodada girlina grapetatters!

Oh, yeah.

Someone brought this in last week.

I didn't sell it, though...

got a sense it might be stolen.

I took his name down. I'll go get it for you.

Thank you, E-Bay.

This couldn't have gone any better.

Ma'am, here's your goat.

I stand corrected.

Ohh!

This is the defendant's guest list for the Peck Gala.

It should be a sufficient sample of her handwriting.

She has a rather distinct style...

very refined with marvelous embellishments.

Uh, notice her use of the Royal "R."

Hmm. And what does this tell you?

She has an overwhelming sense of superiority

and, uh, delusions of grandeur.

Brava! Brava!

Is this the same handwriting

used to change Edgar's insurance policy?

Mm. I want to say no...

Then say it.

Uh, the best I can say is it's inconclusive.

The prosecution may be tough on grime,

but there's no dirt here.

Mr. Poisson,

this is a note I received this morning

with some flowers.

Could you please tell me what you see here?

Mm-hmm.

Objection! Relevance. Inflammatory.

Mean.

Thank you, Your Honor. You may continue, Mr. Poisson.

A broad loop on the "Y"

would suggest a large social circle,

but notice how narrow this Y is.

Oh, this is a lonely person.

And would you say this man is currently fornicating

with the host of a popular podcast?

Well, I don't see any indication this was written by a man.

Perhaps a 14-year-old girl?

Definitely an adolescent.

Objection!

The people are well aware that I'm a full-grown man.

On a professional level,

I'll take "inconclusive" as a win.

On a personal level, I wasted $9 on tulips.

Hey, Josh! We have huge news!

Anne won a goat!

And we have the name of the man

who tried to sell the murder clock.

What's the name?

Well, we haven't picked out a name for her just yet,

but I'm gonna take her down to the station,

do a little goat cop, bad cop.

Anne, who tried to sell the clock?

His name is Milton Buckley.

Milton Buckley.

Lavinia,

do you know a Milton Buckley? Answer fast.

I go back to being a cop in 13 seconds.

I've never heard that name in my life.

Houseboy, be a dear and bring the car around.

You know what? Grab your flags. I feel like driving.

Well, if we just find Milton Buckley,

we might have Edgar's murderer.

What?! I didn't murder Edgar!

What?

Three, two, one.

You're under arrest

for the murder of Edgar Foster.

How dare you?

Bring the car around...

and rot in Hell!

All right. Okay. Okay.

Oh, that's it.

Lady driver coming through! Lady driver!

One of the most important parts of being a peace officer

is questioning suspects.

Now, my goat cop, bad cop, idea was nixed,

but I do get to use the one-way mirror

that I recently installed in the interrogation room.

Sorry, John Lithgoat. They said no.

We found the clock in your car.

Just admit you killed him.

I won't tell anyone.

It's just Milton and Dwayne here, all right?

It'll be our little secret.

Dwayne, I think you installed the one-way mirror backward.

That lady has a question.

I was working the bar at the Gala.

I went to the pool house to urinate

and... and saw the clock.

I only took it because my paychecks

have been bouncing for months.

Hold on.

You say you went to go urinate,

but there's no restroom in the pool house.

I didn't use the restroom.

Are you saying

you peed in the pool?

Oh, yes.

Hey!

Ohh!

I found the clock under a chair,

did my business, took it, and left.

Going back to the pool, how often do you pee in it?

Not very often.

But the gardeners,

I don't even think they have bathrooms at home.

Damn it.

Despite Milton's gross confession,

things are going great.

First, Lavinia's throwing another party tonight.

Guess who got a personal invitation?

But most importantly...

...we have the murder weapon,

which is definitely an East Peck clock

and proves our timeline.

Plus, we have a new suspect.

Milton Buckley had access, he had motive,

and he had the murder weapon.

I have a feeling Milton Buckley's going away for a long, long time.

We had to let Milton go.

What? Why?

There's a ton of party pictures

showing Milton behind the bar at the time of the murder.

Plus, we tested the water, and his story checks out.

It was basically more pee-pee than pool.

Damn it!

Oh, where's the ball?

You're the ball, Lawyer.

It's my way of saying thank you for not abandoning me.

Last year, I got emotionally attached to my client.

I'm not gonna make that mistake again.

All righty. Okay.

Oh, Lawyer, this is nice.

Well, it's my butt.

Your hands are on my butt.

Handwriting Expert said you were lonely.

- Hmm. - I know the feeling.

It's been a long time since I've been satisfied... sexually.

I'm talking about my va...

I thought you and Edgar had a good marriage.

Oh, we did.

But toward the end of his life,

Edgar was not a well man.

He had headaches, tremors.

At first, the shaking was fun...

Wait. Tremors?

When did they start?

A few months back.

As soon as Lavinia said Edgar had tremors,

I knew I had to check the clock sign-in sheet again,

and bingo!

This puts the final nail

in Carol Anne Keane's motive theory.

Shall we celebrate, Lawyer?

- We shall not. - Your loss.

Houseboy!

Please put up the handwriting sample.

After decades of working with hazardous chemicals,

Edgar contracted "Clock Hand,"

and one of the symptoms was tremors in his extremities.

It was fun in the beginning.

Can the record show it was fun in the beginning?

Mr. Poisson, what does this tell you?

Well, whoever wrote this

possesses no higher than a fifth-grade education...

Ooh! With untethered rage.

Hey!

How the you get my grocery list?

Oh! Do me next!

- Anne, this is not a carnival. - It's okay, Josh.

Oh! You are a deeply sensual person.

Mm-hmm.

Here we go! Back to the case.

Mr. Poisson, this shaky handwriting was Edgar's

from two weeks before his death.

This is his signature on the insurance policy.

In your expert opinion,

do these samples come from the same person?

- Mr. Poisson. - Sorry. I-In the carnival business,

we're taught to build tension.

Yeah, you know, that's a 100% match.

Yes! But now, see that felt anti-climatic.

- Did... Did you feel that? - I felt it.

- I knew you would. - Mm-hmm.

Your Honor, my client did not have motive,

and we have the clock that shows she didn't have the time.

I call for a dismissal.

What'd he say? What's going on?

- Oh Charley horse. - Wha... Whoa!

- Charley horse. I got it. - What the hell is going...

No. It's a Charley horse.

It's just a... It's just a Charley...

Your Honor, before you dismiss us,

the People would like to test the timeline themselves.

That's all the time we need.

Will you wait up?

I am trying to help you!

Jesus!

Holy.

I can't believe this case is almost over.

Are we too good at our jobs?

I was just thinking the same thing.

Hopefully, there'll be another murder

so we can keep working together.

I'm sure something will come up.

- Aah! - Dwayne!

I think he's dead.

God damn it!

She did it.

- I just don't know how. - I told you, it's impossible

for Lavinia to get the body down here in 15 minutes.

Just accept it. It's over.

It's not over until I say it's over.

Dwayne, what the hell?

I don't know.

I fell down a tube

that leads from the pool directly to here.

Hey, isn't this near where Edgar drowned?

Now it's over.

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