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1
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,235
What's up?
2
00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:50,804
Animal Planet.
3
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,474
Man, I just had the craziest dream.
4
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,643
-About what?
-I don't remember.
5
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,912
Yeah. Yeah.
6
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,082
Morning, guys.
7
00:03:01,283 --> 00:03:02,917
Morning, Gene.
8
00:03:06,822 --> 00:03:08,290
What did we do last night?
9
00:03:08,523 --> 00:03:09,925
I don't know.
10
00:03:10,726 --> 00:03:13,430
Wait. Didn't the twins have a party?
11
00:03:13,662 --> 00:03:15,699
Yeah, that's it. Twins had a party.
12
00:03:15,899 --> 00:03:17,768
-Right.
-Right.
13
00:03:18,435 --> 00:03:20,170
Were we there?
14
00:03:21,038 --> 00:03:22,706
I'm assuming we were.
15
00:03:22,907 --> 00:03:25,543
What kind of boyfriends
would we be if we weren't?
16
00:03:26,410 --> 00:03:27,946
Did I get any messages?
17
00:03:28,613 --> 00:03:29,714
Nope.
18
00:03:32,284 --> 00:03:33,652
See you tomorrow, Gene.
19
00:03:34,019 --> 00:03:35,588
Shibby.
20
00:03:38,024 --> 00:03:39,926
How do you know Gene?
21
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,196
Oh, I thought he was your friend.
22
00:03:43,396 --> 00:03:45,566
No, no, I don't know him.
23
00:03:49,269 --> 00:03:51,005
I'm starving.
24
00:03:56,511 --> 00:03:59,648
-It's pudding.
-I always wondered what a fridge...
25
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,117
...full of pudding would look like.
26
00:04:02,718 --> 00:04:05,922
Is it possible that we got
so wasted last night...
27
00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:09,826
...we bought a lifetime supply
of pudding and then forgot about it?
28
00:04:13,396 --> 00:04:15,165
I'd say it's entirely possible.
29
00:04:18,035 --> 00:04:20,238
-Jesse.
-And Chester are shibby right now.
30
00:04:20,438 --> 00:04:23,775
Please leave your shibby at the beep.
Shibby.
31
00:04:24,209 --> 00:04:26,010
What happened last night?
32
00:04:26,211 --> 00:04:29,881
You show up with a bunch of people,
pizzas and a keg. Our house is trashed.
33
00:04:30,082 --> 00:04:32,918
You're sucky boyfriends.
Always disappointing us.
34
00:04:33,119 --> 00:04:35,955
Now you're probably on the couch
in your underwear.
35
00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:37,323
Playing thumb wars.
36
00:04:37,524 --> 00:04:39,058
Wearing those Army helmets.
37
00:04:39,258 --> 00:04:42,462
And if you are, you've probably
forgotten our anniversary.
38
00:04:42,663 --> 00:04:43,964
Which is today.
39
00:04:44,165 --> 00:04:47,035
You don't get the special treats
we had for you.
40
00:04:47,235 --> 00:04:50,205
Just wanted to thank you guys
for trashing our house.
41
00:04:50,405 --> 00:04:51,639
Bye!
42
00:04:52,073 --> 00:04:53,275
Twins sound pissed.
43
00:04:53,942 --> 00:04:56,845
-Good thing we already got them gifts.
-Yeah.
44
00:04:57,579 --> 00:05:00,716
So where are the gifts?
45
00:05:02,151 --> 00:05:04,821
-They must be in your car.
-They're in the car.
46
00:05:05,021 --> 00:05:07,958
So we'll just take the gifts
to the twins' house...
47
00:05:08,192 --> 00:05:09,526
...get our special treats.
48
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:12,496
Hey, what do you think they mean
by special treats?
49
00:05:12,696 --> 00:05:15,166
We've been going out with them
for a year now.
50
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,101
And we still haven't had sex.
51
00:05:17,602 --> 00:05:21,406
"Special treats" is code for sex.
52
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,241
Of course.
53
00:05:23,441 --> 00:05:25,778
-Special treats!
-Sex.
54
00:05:25,978 --> 00:05:27,380
Open up, you slackers!
55
00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:28,981
Mr. Pizzacoli!
56
00:05:29,181 --> 00:05:30,650
You left work last night...
57
00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:33,019
...with 30 pizzas
that didn't get delivered!
58
00:05:33,219 --> 00:05:34,688
I want some answers!
59
00:05:34,921 --> 00:05:37,524
Open up this damn door!
60
00:05:37,725 --> 00:05:38,759
It's open.
61
00:05:42,129 --> 00:05:43,931
-Moron!
-What? I'm sorry.
62
00:05:54,576 --> 00:05:55,611
Mr. Pizzacoli.
63
00:05:55,811 --> 00:05:58,782
-Hi, how you doing?
-30 pizzas didn't get delivered!
64
00:05:59,248 --> 00:06:02,619
If I found out you was taking
my pizza home to eat yourselves...
65
00:06:02,819 --> 00:06:04,922
...I will crush you like a doodlebug!
66
00:06:05,122 --> 00:06:06,824
-Look, it's an elephant!
-What?
67
00:06:09,493 --> 00:06:13,664
-Guess it was just a mailman.
-You two are the most irresponsible...
68
00:06:13,865 --> 00:06:16,668
...and disappointing employees
ever to work...
69
00:06:16,868 --> 00:06:19,438
...at Mr. Pizzacoli's
Pronto Pizza Delivery!
70
00:06:19,638 --> 00:06:22,274
A trained dolphin could do
a better job than you!
71
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,611
Well, sure, but then the pizzas
would get all wet.
72
00:06:25,911 --> 00:06:27,280
Look, a unicorn!
73
00:06:30,083 --> 00:06:31,118
A unicorn?
74
00:06:31,351 --> 00:06:34,688
Sorry, I guess it was just
a regular horse. Weird!
75
00:06:34,889 --> 00:06:36,824
You've been embezzling my pizza.
76
00:06:37,024 --> 00:06:39,394
And I will catch you eventually.
77
00:06:39,594 --> 00:06:43,265
And when I do, I swear to God,
you will never deliver pizzas...
78
00:06:43,465 --> 00:06:44,833
...in this town again!
79
00:06:48,737 --> 00:06:50,373
-Close one.
-Yeah.
80
00:06:53,509 --> 00:06:55,245
We'll go to the twins' house.
81
00:06:55,445 --> 00:06:58,982
We'll give them their gifts
and apologize for trashing the house.
82
00:06:59,183 --> 00:07:01,585
And then we get our special treats.
83
00:07:04,254 --> 00:07:05,623
Dude, where's my car?
84
00:07:05,823 --> 00:07:07,192
Where's your car, dude?
85
00:07:09,227 --> 00:07:10,595
Dude, where's my car?
86
00:07:12,497 --> 00:07:13,832
Where's your car, dude?
87
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,002
Dude, where's my car?
88
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,737
Where's your car, dude?
89
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:20,573
-Did I drive last night?
-Yeah, I think so.
90
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:23,710
-Really?
-I'm not sure.
91
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:28,982
-Dude, where's your car?
-Dude, it's not funny. It's gone.
92
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,686
-Yeah.
-Dude, where's my car?
93
00:07:35,089 --> 00:07:36,290
Shut up, dude!
94
00:07:36,491 --> 00:07:38,159
Okay. Okay, look.
95
00:07:38,359 --> 00:07:40,762
You're right.
What we need to do is...
96
00:07:40,963 --> 00:07:43,632
...get into the state of mind
we were in last night.
97
00:07:43,833 --> 00:07:45,835
That way, we can retrace our steps.
98
00:07:46,368 --> 00:07:49,138
-Yeah.
-Sense Memory Simulated Perception...
99
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:51,842
...Altered Consciousness
Memory Retrieval.
100
00:07:53,676 --> 00:07:55,012
Discovery Channel.
101
00:07:55,212 --> 00:07:56,680
Nice.
102
00:07:56,914 --> 00:07:59,016
-Nelson's?
-Shibby.
103
00:08:05,857 --> 00:08:07,860
-I'm sick of walking, dude.
-Me too.
104
00:08:09,795 --> 00:08:12,698
Hey, it's Mrs. Crabbleman.
She'll give us a ride.
105
00:08:12,898 --> 00:08:14,300
Hey, Mrs. Crabbleman!
106
00:08:14,767 --> 00:08:16,870
Hey! Hey!
107
00:08:18,772 --> 00:08:20,874
Mrs. Crabbleman.
108
00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:29,250
Fucking stoners.
109
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:33,154
She must not have recognized you.
110
00:08:33,355 --> 00:08:35,057
-It's the Binglemans.
-Oh, hey.
111
00:08:35,257 --> 00:08:36,825
Mr. Bingleman!
112
00:08:38,528 --> 00:08:39,929
Hey, Mr. Bingleman.
113
00:08:43,767 --> 00:08:46,503
-Maybe we should just walk.
-Yeah.
114
00:08:46,703 --> 00:08:48,572
Listen, Nelson, the car is gone...
115
00:08:48,838 --> 00:08:51,308
...and we need to do
this sense memory thing...
116
00:08:51,508 --> 00:08:54,846
...so we can get back in the state
of mind we were in last night.
117
00:08:55,446 --> 00:08:58,784
Deep in your consciousness,
you must look.
118
00:08:59,117 --> 00:09:03,322
Concentrate on the knowledge inside,
you must.
119
00:09:04,990 --> 00:09:07,159
Your eyes, you must close.
120
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,428
And you take it to the mo.
121
00:09:19,306 --> 00:09:20,608
Whoops.
122
00:09:28,984 --> 00:09:30,552
Concentrating, you're not.
123
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:32,621
Sorry.
124
00:09:32,821 --> 00:09:35,458
-Is your dog dead?
-He's not dead.
125
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,994
Come here, Jackal. Come here, boy.
126
00:09:38,194 --> 00:09:40,730
-I don't think he's coming.
-Maybe he's deaf.
127
00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:42,198
Deaf, he is not, dude.
128
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,467
Come here, Jackal.
129
00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:46,237
-Come here, Jackal.
-Does he know any other tricks...
130
00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:48,072
...besides not moving?
131
00:09:48,739 --> 00:09:51,308
All right, you want
to see a trick, man?
132
00:09:51,509 --> 00:09:52,577
Hey, Jackal.
133
00:09:58,550 --> 00:09:59,918
Bite down, killer.
134
00:10:00,119 --> 00:10:02,288
Here comes the fun. All right.
135
00:10:06,425 --> 00:10:07,894
Good boy, Jackal.
136
00:10:08,094 --> 00:10:09,863
Good boy.
137
00:10:10,564 --> 00:10:13,367
Breathe deep. There you go.
138
00:10:13,567 --> 00:10:16,938
-Dude, your dog's a stoner.
-Can he also bong a beer?
139
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:19,774
Nah, pretty much all he does is...
140
00:10:19,974 --> 00:10:21,610
...lie around and smoke his pipe.
141
00:10:21,810 --> 00:10:23,445
Jackal, can I see your pipe?
142
00:10:24,112 --> 00:10:28,250
Oh, no, don't!
Very protective, he is of his pipe.
143
00:10:28,451 --> 00:10:32,021
When other people touch it,
he does not like.
144
00:10:32,221 --> 00:10:33,422
Sorry, Jackal.
145
00:10:34,424 --> 00:10:36,359
Yeah, see? He's sorry.
146
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,195
Holy crap.
147
00:10:38,395 --> 00:10:41,866
-That's one psycho dog, dude.
-You know what we should do now?
148
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:44,936
-Eat?
-No. Eat.
149
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:49,908
Choice excellent, my friend.
I'll get the keys.
150
00:11:09,163 --> 00:11:10,631
Hey, Nelson. Let me order.
151
00:11:11,198 --> 00:11:13,601
"Chinese Foooood. " May I help you?
152
00:11:13,802 --> 00:11:16,271
-I'd like to place an order.
-What you like?
153
00:11:16,471 --> 00:11:19,041
Yeah, I'd like three orders
of garlic chicken.
154
00:11:19,241 --> 00:11:21,943
-And then?
-And then three orders of white rice.
155
00:11:22,144 --> 00:11:25,781
-And then?
-And then....
156
00:11:25,982 --> 00:11:27,851
-Hey, you guys want soup?
-Sure.
157
00:11:28,051 --> 00:11:31,154
-Yeah. Three orders of won ton soup.
-And then?
158
00:11:31,454 --> 00:11:34,625
-Oh, some fortune cookies too.
-And then?
159
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,294
That's about it.
160
00:11:37,495 --> 00:11:38,662
And then?
161
00:11:40,899 --> 00:11:42,367
No, that's it.
162
00:11:42,567 --> 00:11:44,169
-And then?
-No "and then."
163
00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:46,438
I-- That's all I want.
164
00:11:46,638 --> 00:11:47,773
And then?
165
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:54,680
And then-- And then nothing else,
because I'm done ordering. Okay?
166
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,349
And then?
167
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:02,623
See, all I want is the three orders
of the garlic chicken...
168
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:03,891
...and the white rice.
169
00:12:04,258 --> 00:12:05,326
And then?
170
00:12:05,526 --> 00:12:08,396
-And the soup, dude.
-Oh, and the won ton soup.
171
00:12:08,663 --> 00:12:11,065
-And then?
-And the cookies, fortune.
172
00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:12,667
And the fortune cookies.
173
00:12:12,867 --> 00:12:16,204
So it's just the chicken, the rice...
174
00:12:16,405 --> 00:12:19,242
...the soup and the fortune cookies,
and that's it.
175
00:12:19,875 --> 00:12:21,544
And then?
176
00:12:25,182 --> 00:12:27,651
And then you can put it
in a brown paper bag...
177
00:12:27,851 --> 00:12:30,721
...and put it in my hand,
because I'm ready to eat.
178
00:12:31,255 --> 00:12:32,857
And then?
179
00:12:33,357 --> 00:12:36,260
I refuse to play
your Chinese food mind games.
180
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:39,164
-And then?
-No! No "and then"!
181
00:12:39,364 --> 00:12:41,700
-And then?
-No "and then"!
182
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:43,869
-And then?
-No "and then"!
183
00:12:44,069 --> 00:12:45,638
-And then?
-No! No "and then"!
184
00:12:45,838 --> 00:12:49,408
-And then?
-You're starting to piss me off, lady.
185
00:12:49,608 --> 00:12:51,945
-And then?
-And then...
186
00:12:52,145 --> 00:12:55,916
...I'm gonna come in there
and put my foot in your ass...
187
00:12:56,116 --> 00:12:58,786
...if you say "and then" again!
188
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:07,095
And then and then
and then and then and then....
189
00:13:13,769 --> 00:13:16,139
And then?
190
00:13:16,339 --> 00:13:19,175
Come on, Nelson,
just help us find my car.
191
00:13:19,375 --> 00:13:22,613
You didn't have to go all "egg roll"
on that speaker box.
192
00:13:22,813 --> 00:13:25,482
I'm not the one that called
the Dalai Lama a fag.
193
00:13:25,682 --> 00:13:29,787
-I was just kidding around.
-Well, Nelson didn't appreciate it.
194
00:13:30,188 --> 00:13:33,424
Look, it's Christie Boner.
195
00:13:38,063 --> 00:13:41,400
Wow! The hottest of the hot.
196
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,204
El fuego of all that is el fuego.
197
00:13:49,342 --> 00:13:52,913
-Did she just wave at us?
-No way. She would never wave at us.
198
00:13:53,113 --> 00:13:54,982
Then why did she just wave at us?
199
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,952
I don't know. Maybe she thinks
we're other people.
200
00:13:58,152 --> 00:13:59,320
People she waves to.
201
00:14:04,826 --> 00:14:06,395
Hi, Chester.
202
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,164
Hi.
203
00:14:08,531 --> 00:14:12,135
Hi, Jesse. I had a really
good time with you last night.
204
00:14:15,372 --> 00:14:17,507
-Me too.
-That was some crazy party.
205
00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:21,312
-Hey, have you seen my car?
-Well, I saw it last night.
206
00:14:22,947 --> 00:14:24,782
I mean, I saw the back seat.
207
00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:28,953
-I mean the whole thing.
-Get another one with all the money...
208
00:14:29,153 --> 00:14:31,423
-...you were throwing around.
-Money?
209
00:14:31,623 --> 00:14:34,893
Yeah. You had that really nice
suitcase full of money.
210
00:14:36,329 --> 00:14:40,300
-A suitcase full of money?
-Don't you remember giving me $500...
211
00:14:40,533 --> 00:14:42,702
...to show you my hoo-hoos?
212
00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:46,239
-$500?
-Hoo-hoos?
213
00:14:46,439 --> 00:14:49,176
You mean, you don't remember anything?
214
00:14:59,988 --> 00:15:01,156
How about now?
215
00:15:02,491 --> 00:15:03,626
No.
216
00:15:04,226 --> 00:15:06,262
How about now?
217
00:15:11,635 --> 00:15:13,103
I'm a little bit fuzzy too.
218
00:15:13,336 --> 00:15:16,474
Maybe if I could get
a little refresher course.
219
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,647
-All right.
-Go.
220
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:26,017
-Are these losers bothering you?
-No, Tommy.
221
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:29,188
Guys like you could never score
with a chick like this.
222
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:32,091
-Stick to your own kind.
-Don't be such a jerk.
223
00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:34,594
Next time you guys
bother my girlfriend...
224
00:15:34,794 --> 00:15:37,898
-...stoner-bashing time.
-Oh, yeah?
225
00:15:38,131 --> 00:15:39,332
Yeah.
226
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:42,502
-Okay.
-Consider this your warning.
227
00:15:45,573 --> 00:15:47,041
Later, dudes!
228
00:15:50,612 --> 00:15:53,081
Dude, you touched
Christie Boner's hoo-hoo.
229
00:15:53,281 --> 00:15:54,483
Shibby!
230
00:15:54,683 --> 00:15:56,051
Low-five.
231
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,288
-Yeah.
-Let's get out of here.
232
00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:02,258
Chester!
233
00:16:02,592 --> 00:16:05,395
Dude, that Christie Boner
is super hot.
234
00:16:05,596 --> 00:16:07,931
Where did we get a suitcase
full of money?
235
00:16:08,131 --> 00:16:09,500
Why don't we have it now?
236
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:12,570
Maybe we deposited it
in a Swiss bank account.
237
00:16:14,272 --> 00:16:17,709
Now, if we had a ridiculous
sum of money, where would we go?
238
00:16:18,476 --> 00:16:19,711
Dude.
239
00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:28,053
Sweet!
240
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,326
No way we were here last night.
241
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:37,498
We'd never fit in
at a place like this.
242
00:16:37,731 --> 00:16:41,201
Look everyone!
It's Mr. Jesse and Mr. Chester!
243
00:16:51,948 --> 00:16:55,184
Look at the toggles on that kitten.
244
00:16:59,088 --> 00:17:02,426
Good afternoon, Jesse, Chester.
How are we feeling today?
245
00:17:03,193 --> 00:17:04,762
A little fuzzy.
246
00:17:05,796 --> 00:17:09,567
Hi, Chester. Hi, Jesse.
247
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:12,036
Did you guys enjoy
yourselves last night?
248
00:17:14,405 --> 00:17:16,508
-Have we met?
-It's me, Tania.
249
00:17:16,708 --> 00:17:18,611
Remember last night
when I gave you...
250
00:17:18,811 --> 00:17:22,548
...that super-special,
slippery-wet lap dance?
251
00:17:26,453 --> 00:17:29,022
Of course. How can I forget?
252
00:17:29,656 --> 00:17:31,759
You want to do it again?
253
00:17:31,992 --> 00:17:35,196
This time, it's on me.
254
00:17:43,439 --> 00:17:45,508
If you say so.
255
00:17:54,184 --> 00:17:56,086
Didn't I get a special lap dance?
256
00:17:56,487 --> 00:17:58,188
Did you ever.
257
00:18:10,102 --> 00:18:11,570
Sweet!
258
00:18:11,937 --> 00:18:13,472
Sweet!
259
00:18:14,173 --> 00:18:15,607
So...
260
00:18:15,808 --> 00:18:19,879
...just how super-special
can a slippery lap dance be?
261
00:18:20,313 --> 00:18:24,584
What the hell were you thinking,
throwing around my money like that?
262
00:18:24,784 --> 00:18:28,355
-You're a....
-I'm a gender-challenged male.
263
00:18:28,789 --> 00:18:30,358
What does that mean?
264
00:18:32,193 --> 00:18:34,329
Oh, dude, you're a dude! That's--
265
00:18:35,663 --> 00:18:36,832
You....
266
00:18:46,843 --> 00:18:50,480
Last night, I had you sneak a suitcase
of stolen money out of here.
267
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,350
-Stolen money?
-$200,000.
268
00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:54,952
$200,000!
269
00:18:55,152 --> 00:18:58,356
I gave you the case and left.
We were supposed to meet.
270
00:18:58,556 --> 00:19:01,626
But you never showed up!
Where's that suitcase?
271
00:19:01,959 --> 00:19:03,628
-I don't know.
-You don't know?
272
00:19:14,574 --> 00:19:17,277
-Where's that suitcase?
-It's in my car.
273
00:19:17,477 --> 00:19:21,014
Then get it. Fast.
Or else you'll be singing soprano.
274
00:19:32,961 --> 00:19:35,998
Dude. Dude, dude!
275
00:19:36,465 --> 00:19:37,933
-We gotta go.
-Are you crazy?
276
00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:40,069
I'm with breakdancing strippers.
277
00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:42,505
Seriously, dude, this is an emergency.
278
00:19:42,705 --> 00:19:43,907
So is this, dude.
279
00:19:44,107 --> 00:19:46,810
It's a breakdancing
stripper emergency.
280
00:19:47,778 --> 00:19:50,180
-Goodbye!
-Bye, Chester!
281
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:51,882
I love you!
282
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:57,121
We were supposed to meet her with
the suitcase, but we didn't show up.
283
00:19:57,522 --> 00:20:00,492
Sounds like us.
How wasted were we last night?
284
00:20:00,692 --> 00:20:03,996
I touched Christie's hoo-hoo,
we're on the hook for $200,000...
285
00:20:04,197 --> 00:20:07,367
...that belongs to a transsexual
stripper, and my car's gone.
286
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:11,771
-I'd say we were pretty wasted.
-We really need to find your car.
287
00:20:12,005 --> 00:20:15,909
Okay, let's see. The last place
we remember being last night was....
288
00:20:16,109 --> 00:20:20,214
The twins'. But we can't show up
without the anniversary gifts.
289
00:20:20,415 --> 00:20:23,384
I got it! We'll get them
a little something for now.
290
00:20:23,585 --> 00:20:27,923
When we find the car, we'll give them
the real gifts. That's a dollar...
291
00:20:28,290 --> 00:20:29,592
...thirty-nine.
292
00:20:29,792 --> 00:20:32,294
-I don't know.
-Trust me.
293
00:20:32,528 --> 00:20:34,997
-It'll be totally cool. Let's go.
-Okay.
294
00:20:39,569 --> 00:20:41,404
We are so dead.
295
00:20:41,939 --> 00:20:43,641
I roger that.
296
00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:07,600
-We've been cleaning all day.
-What do you guys have to say?
297
00:21:07,801 --> 00:21:09,970
Happy anniversary.
298
00:21:15,910 --> 00:21:19,014
We ate the dark ones.
We know you guys don't like those.
299
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:21,683
Dark ones are the only ones
we do like.
300
00:21:22,817 --> 00:21:24,253
Oh, yeah.
301
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:29,124
But you could use the box to keep....
302
00:21:30,326 --> 00:21:32,062
You keep...
303
00:21:33,330 --> 00:21:34,731
...ribbons.
304
00:21:36,733 --> 00:21:39,636
-You guys forgot our anniversary.
-No, of course not.
305
00:21:39,837 --> 00:21:43,274
No, we got you guys great gifts.
We just had some car trouble.
306
00:21:43,508 --> 00:21:45,577
We came over here
as soon as we could...
307
00:21:45,777 --> 00:21:47,679
...to help you guys clean up but....
308
00:21:48,112 --> 00:21:49,080
Oh, no.
309
00:21:50,582 --> 00:21:52,718
It looks like you're already done.
310
00:21:52,918 --> 00:21:55,054
All we have to do is
take out the trash.
311
00:21:55,254 --> 00:21:57,390
Guess they haven't been outside yet.
312
00:21:57,757 --> 00:21:59,926
You know what?
We'll take out the trash.
313
00:22:00,159 --> 00:22:02,128
You guys go and take a nice hot bath.
314
00:22:02,429 --> 00:22:05,198
Yeah. You deserve it
after all this hard work.
315
00:22:05,398 --> 00:22:06,667
Pamper yourselves.
316
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:09,237
-Just....
-Don't make a mess.
317
00:22:14,008 --> 00:22:16,277
Slow and steady, good buddy.
318
00:22:16,478 --> 00:22:17,646
10-4.
319
00:22:18,113 --> 00:22:19,648
-You're tilting.
-Sorry.
320
00:22:19,882 --> 00:22:22,652
-Why are you tilting?
-You gave me the heavy end.
321
00:22:28,992 --> 00:22:31,194
-Let it go, man.
-No, we can get it.
322
00:22:31,394 --> 00:22:33,697
No. Let it go.
323
00:22:34,031 --> 00:22:36,000
We're not leaving it behind.
324
00:22:37,234 --> 00:22:38,202
Okay.
325
00:22:38,870 --> 00:22:41,105
-I'll take my shoe off.
-Okay.
326
00:22:45,077 --> 00:22:46,511
Watch it. Stop pushing!
327
00:22:46,712 --> 00:22:49,048
Watch it! Careful. Careful.
328
00:22:52,685 --> 00:22:55,589
-Are we cool? Are we cool?
-We're still cool.
329
00:23:04,365 --> 00:23:06,968
Now, take your shoe off,
and you get it.
330
00:23:09,237 --> 00:23:12,607
-Okay.
-Get it. That's it, that's it.
331
00:23:13,208 --> 00:23:14,443
I got it!
332
00:23:16,512 --> 00:23:17,947
Oh, my God!
333
00:23:24,621 --> 00:23:26,323
You can't do anything right.
334
00:23:26,523 --> 00:23:28,725
Why do you have to mess everything up?
335
00:23:41,941 --> 00:23:45,544
-I got three words: anger management.
-Yeah!
336
00:23:45,744 --> 00:23:48,548
Dude, we really need
to find your car.
337
00:23:55,790 --> 00:23:58,426
Sorry about yanking you
off the street like that.
338
00:23:58,626 --> 00:24:01,496
-We really need to talk to you.
-Who are you guys?
339
00:24:01,696 --> 00:24:05,800
My name is Zarnoff. This is Zabu,
Zellner, Zilbor, Zelmina...
340
00:24:06,034 --> 00:24:07,536
-...and Jeff.
-Hey.
341
00:24:09,705 --> 00:24:13,542
More specifically, we are
the recipients of instructions...
342
00:24:13,743 --> 00:24:18,281
...from extraterrestrials regarding
the interstellar path to outer space.
343
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,451
Go ahead and laugh.
344
00:24:21,652 --> 00:24:23,687
We are used to being mocked.
345
00:24:24,321 --> 00:24:25,723
Okay.
346
00:24:26,056 --> 00:24:29,327
We have been sent
by our wise and powerful leader...
347
00:24:29,527 --> 00:24:30,528
...Zoltan...
348
00:24:30,762 --> 00:24:34,366
...to find you and recover
the continuum transfunctioner.
349
00:24:34,700 --> 00:24:37,670
Hey, have you guys
ever been to Uranus?
350
00:24:37,870 --> 00:24:40,439
It's supposed to be
nice this time of year.
351
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,843
This is important. We intercepted
an interstellar message...
352
00:24:44,043 --> 00:24:46,412
...that leads us to believe
that last night...
353
00:24:46,612 --> 00:24:49,950
...you were in possession
of the continuum transfunctioner.
354
00:24:50,151 --> 00:24:51,218
Where is it now?
355
00:24:51,485 --> 00:24:53,988
-The who what?
-The continuum transfunctioner...
356
00:24:54,221 --> 00:24:56,691
...is a very mysterious
and powerful device.
357
00:24:56,891 --> 00:24:58,860
-And?
-And its mystery...
358
00:24:59,294 --> 00:25:01,597
...is exceeded only by its power.
359
00:25:01,830 --> 00:25:04,533
Sorry, we don't remember
a thing about last night.
360
00:25:04,733 --> 00:25:06,001
You must be careful.
361
00:25:06,201 --> 00:25:10,006
Danger follows the continuum
transfunctioner. So says....
362
00:25:10,206 --> 00:25:12,642
-Zoltan.
-Zoltan.
363
00:25:13,409 --> 00:25:14,878
I'll tell you what.
364
00:25:15,078 --> 00:25:18,882
We'll keep our eyes out for the
continual trans-ding-a-ling thing...
365
00:25:19,083 --> 00:25:21,318
...and if we see it,
we'll give you a call.
366
00:25:21,518 --> 00:25:22,754
Yes. You must.
367
00:25:22,954 --> 00:25:25,256
But remember,
you are in great danger.
368
00:25:25,456 --> 00:25:26,691
Trust no one.
369
00:25:26,992 --> 00:25:28,159
Except for us.
370
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,962
Thank you, Jeff. Good point.
371
00:25:30,162 --> 00:25:32,364
Trust no one, except for us.
372
00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:34,066
Zoltan.
373
00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:44,411
Wait a second. Let's recap.
Last night, we lost my car...
374
00:25:44,612 --> 00:25:47,414
...we accepted stolen money
from a transsexual stripper...
375
00:25:47,614 --> 00:25:51,820
...and now some space nerds want us
to find something we can't pronounce.
376
00:25:52,220 --> 00:25:54,589
Maybe we should cut back
on the shibbying.
377
00:25:57,660 --> 00:25:59,361
-Thanks, dude.
-Oh, good!
378
00:25:59,628 --> 00:26:02,865
You're right on time.
You pick up special suits.
379
00:26:03,499 --> 00:26:07,637
Mr. Lee, tailor, make special
suits for you. Come on.
380
00:26:14,278 --> 00:26:18,282
-Dude, you got a tattoo!
-What?
381
00:26:18,516 --> 00:26:20,986
-So did you, dude.
-Naw.
382
00:26:22,721 --> 00:26:24,990
-Dude, what does my tattoo say?
-"Sweet"!
383
00:26:25,190 --> 00:26:27,526
-What about mine?
-"Dude." What does mine say?
384
00:26:27,726 --> 00:26:28,827
"Sweet."
385
00:26:29,028 --> 00:26:30,296
-What about mine?
-"Dude."
386
00:26:30,529 --> 00:26:32,031
-What does mine say?
-"Sweet"!
387
00:26:32,265 --> 00:26:34,234
-What about mine?
-"Dude." And mine?
388
00:26:34,467 --> 00:26:36,236
"Sweet." What about mine?
389
00:26:36,436 --> 00:26:37,904
"Dude." What does mine say?
390
00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:40,007
"Sweet"! What about mine?
391
00:26:40,241 --> 00:26:42,109
"Dude." What does mine say?
392
00:26:42,309 --> 00:26:45,012
"Sweet"! What about mine?
393
00:26:45,413 --> 00:26:48,182
"Dude"! What does mine say?
394
00:26:48,383 --> 00:26:49,984
"Sweet"!
395
00:26:51,252 --> 00:26:52,788
Idiots!
396
00:26:54,991 --> 00:26:57,927
Your tattoo says "dude,"
your tattoo says "sweet."
397
00:26:58,628 --> 00:26:59,896
Got it?
398
00:27:02,499 --> 00:27:04,234
Sorry.
399
00:27:04,434 --> 00:27:06,136
-Hey.
-Hey.
400
00:27:06,603 --> 00:27:08,372
-Sorry.
-Sorry.
401
00:27:15,547 --> 00:27:18,517
-Shibby.
-Very sharp, very sharp.
402
00:27:18,750 --> 00:27:21,720
You two number one, extra-special
good-looking guys.
403
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,390
-We got these last night?
-You were pretty--
404
00:27:26,592 --> 00:27:28,795
-How much are these?
-You already pay for.
405
00:27:29,028 --> 00:27:33,266
I just do some minor alterations.
Add the secret pockets you order.
406
00:27:33,634 --> 00:27:36,103
Maybe we got
the continual trans-sphincter.
407
00:27:36,304 --> 00:27:37,438
What's--?
408
00:27:37,972 --> 00:27:39,406
Oh, dude!
409
00:27:43,478 --> 00:27:45,080
Dude!
410
00:27:52,955 --> 00:27:54,491
Sweet!
411
00:28:10,775 --> 00:28:11,777
Cool!
412
00:28:12,010 --> 00:28:15,147
-How did we pay for these suits?
-Oh, you pay cash.
413
00:28:15,347 --> 00:28:19,118
Cold hard cash,
crispy new hundred-dollar bills.
414
00:28:19,918 --> 00:28:22,422
Hey, did you see
what car we were driving?
415
00:28:22,822 --> 00:28:24,657
Me? No, I don't see no car.
416
00:28:31,465 --> 00:28:32,733
Hello?
417
00:28:34,402 --> 00:28:36,371
Dude, we bought cell phones.
418
00:28:38,940 --> 00:28:40,909
That's not all we bought, dude.
419
00:29:28,763 --> 00:29:30,265
Shibby!
420
00:30:47,351 --> 00:30:51,789
Man, I cannot believe
we leased a car last night. God!
421
00:30:51,989 --> 00:30:54,625
-But who's Johnny Potsmoker?
-That's my alter ego.
422
00:30:54,826 --> 00:30:56,561
I thought that was my alter ego.
423
00:30:56,762 --> 00:30:59,031
No, that's my alter ego.
424
00:30:59,231 --> 00:31:02,168
-Your alter ego is Smokey McPot.
-Oh, yeah.
425
00:31:03,836 --> 00:31:05,805
You're never gonna figure that out.
426
00:31:06,706 --> 00:31:07,807
Okay, dude.
427
00:31:08,008 --> 00:31:10,343
There it is. Break time's over.
428
00:31:10,944 --> 00:31:12,245
Time to find my car.
429
00:31:12,612 --> 00:31:14,715
This is impossible.
430
00:31:15,249 --> 00:31:17,184
Are you Jesse and Chester?
431
00:31:20,188 --> 00:31:21,923
Are you Jesse and Chester?
432
00:31:23,258 --> 00:31:25,093
I don't know. Why?
433
00:31:25,293 --> 00:31:27,262
If you are Jesse and Chester...
434
00:31:27,496 --> 00:31:29,966
...perhaps we will give you
erotic pleasure.
435
00:31:30,433 --> 00:31:31,734
-That's us.
-Right here.
436
00:31:31,934 --> 00:31:34,771
We are looking
for the continuum transfunctioner.
437
00:31:34,971 --> 00:31:39,309
-Who are you guys?
-We are not guys. We are hot chicks.
438
00:31:39,810 --> 00:31:42,012
She's totally right.
439
00:31:42,213 --> 00:31:43,881
The continuum transfunctioner...
440
00:31:44,081 --> 00:31:46,150
...is a very mysterious
and powerful device.
441
00:31:46,651 --> 00:31:48,353
-And?
-And its mystery...
442
00:31:48,553 --> 00:31:50,188
...is only exceeded by its power.
443
00:31:50,488 --> 00:31:51,956
That doesn't really help.
444
00:32:12,747 --> 00:32:16,918
We will give you pleasure now, if you
give us the continuum transfunctioner.
445
00:32:17,151 --> 00:32:20,889
Let me get your proposition straight.
First you give us...
446
00:32:21,123 --> 00:32:24,693
...the pleasure, then we give
you the continuum transfunctioner?
447
00:32:24,894 --> 00:32:28,097
No. First you give us
the continuum transfunctioner...
448
00:32:28,297 --> 00:32:30,533
...then we give you the pleasure.
449
00:32:30,734 --> 00:32:32,736
I've heard that one before.
450
00:32:32,969 --> 00:32:34,605
Okay, look. How about this?
451
00:32:34,805 --> 00:32:37,207
You give me pleasure...
452
00:32:37,407 --> 00:32:40,345
...then we'll give you
the continuum transfunctioner.
453
00:32:40,545 --> 00:32:42,847
-If there's time, you do him.
-Dude--
454
00:32:43,047 --> 00:32:44,482
-Deal.
-Sweet!
455
00:32:44,683 --> 00:32:46,317
-Wait a second.
-Thank you.
456
00:32:46,518 --> 00:32:49,754
Come here. Those space nerds
told us not to trust anybody.
457
00:32:49,955 --> 00:32:54,527
Yeah, but for the love of God,
they're offering us oral pleasure!
458
00:32:54,727 --> 00:32:56,129
What--?
459
00:32:56,996 --> 00:32:58,898
-Okay.
-Okay.
460
00:32:59,099 --> 00:33:01,268
Hey. Where did the hot chicks go?
461
00:33:03,804 --> 00:33:05,906
Where's my money, boys?
462
00:33:06,641 --> 00:33:09,077
We were just going to get it.
463
00:33:10,278 --> 00:33:13,248
You picked the wrong
transsexual stripper to screw with.
464
00:33:13,481 --> 00:33:15,350
You're pinching me.
465
00:33:16,485 --> 00:33:19,655
Well, let's see what the cops
have to say about this.
466
00:33:20,022 --> 00:33:22,325
-You're busted.
-Busted.
467
00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:26,162
-B-U-S-T, busted.
-This one.
468
00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:30,133
-These guys.
-Chester! I saw this on COPS!
469
00:33:30,334 --> 00:33:33,170
-Kick hard and hit back!
-Bye-bye, boys.
470
00:33:33,837 --> 00:33:34,938
Put on the siren.
471
00:33:36,941 --> 00:33:39,711
You're sticking to the
"I don't remember" crap.
472
00:33:39,945 --> 00:33:41,379
Yeah. We don't remember.
473
00:33:41,613 --> 00:33:43,749
Last night, your car
was spotted leaving...
474
00:33:43,949 --> 00:33:47,153
-...the scene of a major drug deal.
-You found my car.
475
00:33:47,386 --> 00:33:50,790
You guys got more important things
to worry about right now.
476
00:33:51,224 --> 00:33:54,361
Where were you between
midnight and 2 a.m. last night?
477
00:33:54,661 --> 00:33:58,499
I told you, okay?
We don't remember anything.
478
00:33:58,699 --> 00:34:01,635
I see we're gonna have to do
this the hard way.
479
00:34:03,404 --> 00:34:07,509
Where were you last night between
the hours of midnight and 2 a.m.?
480
00:34:07,842 --> 00:34:09,744
We don't know.
481
00:34:19,322 --> 00:34:20,389
What the--?
482
00:34:25,162 --> 00:34:27,498
-Now do you remember?
-No.
483
00:34:37,976 --> 00:34:40,312
-How about now?
-No.
484
00:34:49,956 --> 00:34:52,759
Hey, leave him alone!
He doesn't know anything!
485
00:34:53,694 --> 00:34:57,064
-Now are you ready to talk?
-Dude, we don't remember!
486
00:34:57,698 --> 00:35:00,902
Okay, here are the whips
you guys wanted.
487
00:35:02,971 --> 00:35:05,006
Hey, it's the donut guys.
488
00:35:06,108 --> 00:35:08,978
These two were at
the Donut House last night.
489
00:35:09,178 --> 00:35:12,781
We started talking and they bought
donuts for the whole precinct.
490
00:35:12,982 --> 00:35:14,984
What time did all this happen?
491
00:35:15,218 --> 00:35:18,188
Let's see. Must've been
between midnight and 2 a.m.
492
00:35:18,956 --> 00:35:20,190
Damn!
493
00:35:20,558 --> 00:35:24,095
You can't be the guys
we're looking for. Sorry.
494
00:35:30,702 --> 00:35:31,803
Hang in there, bro.
495
00:35:32,971 --> 00:35:35,440
-Come on, Kojak.
-All right.
496
00:35:36,041 --> 00:35:38,044
I'm really sorry about all this.
497
00:35:38,277 --> 00:35:40,914
Looks like it was a case
of mistaken identity.
498
00:35:41,114 --> 00:35:44,084
Actually, those are
the real criminals over there.
499
00:35:45,618 --> 00:35:46,786
One of our officers...
500
00:35:46,987 --> 00:35:50,858
-...made a wrong identification.
-Yeah, that was me.
501
00:35:51,058 --> 00:35:52,660
I'm sorry about that, fellas.
502
00:35:52,860 --> 00:35:55,296
Rick will tell you exactly
where your car is.
503
00:35:57,265 --> 00:35:59,301
-We found the car.
-We found the car.
504
00:35:59,534 --> 00:36:01,270
We found the car!
505
00:36:01,470 --> 00:36:03,572
-Yeah, we found the car.
-Found my car.
506
00:36:03,806 --> 00:36:08,077
Now we get the gifts, go to the twins'
house, and get our special treats.
507
00:36:08,277 --> 00:36:09,712
Sweet!
508
00:36:09,946 --> 00:36:12,616
Give us the keys
and we're out of here.
509
00:36:12,816 --> 00:36:14,284
You got it.
510
00:36:16,887 --> 00:36:19,357
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
511
00:36:19,557 --> 00:36:20,959
What's the problem, Rick?
512
00:36:21,259 --> 00:36:22,960
Nothing, I just-- Boy.
513
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,829
Okay. Jeez.
514
00:36:26,565 --> 00:36:30,268
Did you say you wanted your car back,
or you wanted it impounded?
515
00:36:30,703 --> 00:36:33,606
We want the car back, please.
516
00:36:33,806 --> 00:36:37,310
Oh, I see. That's kind of funny,
because what happened was...
517
00:36:37,544 --> 00:36:41,448
...I accidentally sent your car
to the impound.
518
00:36:41,648 --> 00:36:43,083
-Rick.
-I know.
519
00:36:43,284 --> 00:36:45,619
I can definitely tell you this.
You guys...
520
00:36:45,819 --> 00:36:48,022
...can get the car back in a few days.
521
00:36:48,222 --> 00:36:51,626
We don't have a few days, Rick.
We need the car back now.
522
00:36:52,627 --> 00:36:57,099
Say, how about a treat?
There's Bavarian cream.
523
00:36:59,835 --> 00:37:01,837
-Yeah.
-That's a good one there.
524
00:37:02,071 --> 00:37:04,874
-It's good.
-It's great. I have a lot of them.
525
00:37:05,074 --> 00:37:07,043
-You know what? Forget about it.
-Okay.
526
00:37:07,277 --> 00:37:09,680
-Psych!
-Oh, jeez. You got me.
527
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,216
Hey, fellows, who's the goose? Me.
528
00:37:12,716 --> 00:37:14,018
You're such a joker.
529
00:37:16,688 --> 00:37:17,655
One.
530
00:37:20,425 --> 00:37:23,195
-Damn!
-Have you seen Jesse and Chester?
531
00:37:23,395 --> 00:37:26,298
-What?
-We're looking for Jesse and Chester.
532
00:37:26,732 --> 00:37:28,468
I don't know where they are...
533
00:37:28,668 --> 00:37:30,870
...but I bet those punks
over there do.
534
00:37:31,671 --> 00:37:35,375
So then, remember?
I said, "Later, dudes."
535
00:37:38,278 --> 00:37:41,716
-Why were you with those jerks anyway?
-They were just being nice...
536
00:37:41,916 --> 00:37:43,384
...unlike someone I know.
537
00:37:43,617 --> 00:37:46,587
Maybe it's time I find someone
with a sensitive side.
538
00:37:46,888 --> 00:37:49,157
Someone who respects me as a person.
539
00:37:49,357 --> 00:37:51,760
Maybe somebody like Jesse or Chester.
540
00:37:55,464 --> 00:37:58,568
Okay, listen up.
We're gonna find Jesse and Chester.
541
00:37:58,768 --> 00:38:01,772
And when we do, stoner-bashing time!
542
00:38:02,005 --> 00:38:04,875
-Do you know Jesse and Chester?
-Who are you?
543
00:38:05,075 --> 00:38:08,279
-We are hot chicks.
-Yes, you are.
544
00:38:08,479 --> 00:38:11,415
We believe they have
the continuum transfunctioner.
545
00:38:11,749 --> 00:38:15,587
However, if you recover the continuum
transfunctioner from them...
546
00:38:15,787 --> 00:38:18,757
...and bring it to us,
we will give you erotic pleasure.
547
00:38:18,990 --> 00:38:20,760
You've got yourselves a deal.
548
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,296
Okay, guys. Okay, guys, new plan.
549
00:38:23,496 --> 00:38:27,367
First, we find those stoners,
get the continuum transfunctioner...
550
00:38:27,567 --> 00:38:30,604
-...then, it's jerk-bashing time.
-Yeah!
551
00:38:31,071 --> 00:38:32,539
Oh, yeah.
552
00:38:32,773 --> 00:38:34,942
I just remembered where
you might be able to find them.
553
00:38:37,011 --> 00:38:37,978
Send those chicks to meet the twins.
554
00:38:38,412 --> 00:38:40,782
That'll put those dudes
in some hot water.
555
00:38:43,518 --> 00:38:46,388
Try it again. Okay?
Just knock it out of the park.
556
00:38:46,588 --> 00:38:48,156
All right, give it a shot.
557
00:38:49,158 --> 00:38:50,593
Okay, you almost got it.
558
00:38:50,793 --> 00:38:54,597
Now just concentrate on the beep,
swing as hard as you can...
559
00:38:54,797 --> 00:38:56,766
...and keep your ear on the ball.
Okay?
560
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,269
All right, little buddy,
you can do it!
561
00:39:03,808 --> 00:39:06,511
I did it! I did it!
I hit it! I did it!
562
00:39:10,882 --> 00:39:13,919
-Do you know Jesse and Chester?
-Pardon me?
563
00:39:14,252 --> 00:39:17,623
-We're looking for Jesse and Chester.
-Who are you?
564
00:39:17,957 --> 00:39:20,326
We're extremely hot chicks
with big breasts.
565
00:39:20,727 --> 00:39:22,095
Really?
566
00:39:23,363 --> 00:39:25,999
Can I touch your face?
It's the only way I can see...
567
00:39:26,199 --> 00:39:28,769
-...who I'm talking to.
-Okay.
568
00:39:30,504 --> 00:39:33,841
Wow! You are hot.
569
00:39:41,349 --> 00:39:43,352
Is this normal?
570
00:39:43,752 --> 00:39:46,889
Oh, yeah. This is how
blind people shake hands.
571
00:39:47,423 --> 00:39:49,225
-Sammy, you're up next.
-Okay--
572
00:39:49,425 --> 00:39:51,761
-Come on.
-What the--? Sis!
573
00:39:52,295 --> 00:39:55,599
Excuse me, a little help.
Wanda. Wilma.
574
00:39:55,799 --> 00:39:58,569
-Anthony?
-Anthony, what is going on?
575
00:39:58,769 --> 00:40:01,473
Nothing. I was just reading.
576
00:40:02,340 --> 00:40:04,309
Bye, ladies, I need to be alone now.
577
00:40:04,509 --> 00:40:07,746
-We're looking for Jesse and Chester.
-Who are you guys?
578
00:40:07,946 --> 00:40:10,215
We are not guys. We are hot chicks.
579
00:40:10,883 --> 00:40:13,752
We're supposed to meet them later,
but we can't wait.
580
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,691
-We don't know where they are.
-And frankly, we don't care.
581
00:40:22,696 --> 00:40:26,100
-Dude, let's call Nelson.
-Yeah. See if he's home.
582
00:40:30,071 --> 00:40:31,973
-Hello?
-Hey, Nelson, it's Chester.
583
00:40:32,273 --> 00:40:34,576
Hey, Chester! No, it's me, Tommy.
584
00:40:35,143 --> 00:40:37,279
Your buddy Nelson is busy
at the moment.
585
00:40:37,847 --> 00:40:39,982
This is bad karma, boys.
586
00:40:40,849 --> 00:40:43,753
Hey, tell me where
that continuum transfunctioner is.
587
00:40:44,987 --> 00:40:46,389
No hablo English.
588
00:40:46,589 --> 00:40:49,860
Your friend's dead meat unless
I get that continuum transfunctioner.
589
00:40:51,328 --> 00:40:53,130
Jackal! Get your pipe!
590
00:40:55,065 --> 00:40:57,268
-My balls!
-What was that?
591
00:40:57,468 --> 00:41:01,573
Tommy's gotten to Nelson! He knows
about the continuum transfunctioner.
592
00:41:01,773 --> 00:41:05,277
Those double-crossing
sexy, sexy sluts!
593
00:41:07,580 --> 00:41:12,185
I am so sick of hearing about
this continuum transfunctioner thing.
594
00:41:12,385 --> 00:41:16,322
-If one more person asks--
-You got the continuum transfunctioner?
595
00:41:16,657 --> 00:41:18,125
Who are you guys?
596
00:41:18,325 --> 00:41:21,562
We are the keepers
of the continuum transfunctioner.
597
00:41:22,162 --> 00:41:25,600
It is all that stands between
the universe and destruction.
598
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:27,936
It is a mysterious
and powerful device.
599
00:41:28,136 --> 00:41:31,039
And its mystery
is only exceeded by its power.
600
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:32,675
-We know.
-We don't have it.
601
00:41:32,875 --> 00:41:33,842
But the universe?
602
00:41:34,076 --> 00:41:36,178
Screw the universe.
603
00:41:42,286 --> 00:41:44,054
Screw the universe?
604
00:41:57,068 --> 00:41:59,905
Chimpanzees often use sticks
as crude tools.
605
00:42:00,105 --> 00:42:02,374
That is one smart primate.
606
00:42:06,213 --> 00:42:08,181
-Hey.
-Hey.
607
00:42:08,414 --> 00:42:09,750
What are you doing here?
608
00:42:09,950 --> 00:42:13,320
We just wanted to see
how that car trouble thing was going.
609
00:42:13,621 --> 00:42:17,224
Oh, the car. It's in the shop.
610
00:42:17,458 --> 00:42:18,426
Really?
611
00:42:18,660 --> 00:42:21,530
The shop run by beautiful women
in black jumpsuits?
612
00:42:21,730 --> 00:42:23,865
The ones you were
hanging with earlier?
613
00:42:24,065 --> 00:42:27,436
-Well, you see, Jesse thought--
-Today's our anniversary.
614
00:42:27,636 --> 00:42:30,539
-Not only do you not have gifts.
-But you guys ditch us...
615
00:42:30,740 --> 00:42:32,208
...for some big-breasted bimbos...
616
00:42:32,441 --> 00:42:35,378
-...while we're cleaning our house....
-Which you trashed.
617
00:42:35,578 --> 00:42:36,813
Twice.
618
00:42:37,013 --> 00:42:38,782
-You're sucky boyfriends.
-But--
619
00:42:38,982 --> 00:42:43,020
We just wanted to come
and tell you in person that it's over.
620
00:42:45,723 --> 00:42:48,493
-Wilma?
-Thank you, Wanda.
621
00:42:57,870 --> 00:42:59,805
-They're totally right.
-Yeah.
622
00:43:00,005 --> 00:43:02,142
We are sucky boyfriends.
623
00:43:03,543 --> 00:43:06,546
Do you even remember
what kind of gifts we got them?
624
00:43:06,780 --> 00:43:09,817
-I bet we got them sucky gifts.
-Yeah.
625
00:43:10,417 --> 00:43:12,153
We suck.
626
00:43:19,328 --> 00:43:22,831
Wait, I just got a really bad feeling
in the pit of my stomach.
627
00:43:23,399 --> 00:43:25,268
You should go sit on the toilet.
628
00:43:25,701 --> 00:43:28,371
No, no.
You know what the feeling is?
629
00:43:29,205 --> 00:43:30,540
It's love.
630
00:43:32,576 --> 00:43:34,478
-Is that what that is?
-Yeah.
631
00:43:34,678 --> 00:43:37,815
I'm in love with Wanda.
And you're in love with Wilma.
632
00:43:38,749 --> 00:43:40,318
But see, now that we know...
633
00:43:40,551 --> 00:43:43,488
...that we've been sucky boyfriends,
we can change.
634
00:43:43,688 --> 00:43:46,491
-We can?
-Yeah. And you know what else?
635
00:43:46,691 --> 00:43:50,329
I'll bet you that we did buy them
super-cool anniversary gifts.
636
00:43:50,529 --> 00:43:52,665
You know why? Because we love them.
637
00:43:52,966 --> 00:43:54,834
Are they wrapped in cool paper?
638
00:43:55,101 --> 00:43:57,370
Yeah. I'll tell you what we'll do.
639
00:43:57,737 --> 00:44:01,241
We'll go to the impound lot, get the car,
which has the gifts in it...
640
00:44:01,475 --> 00:44:05,213
...and then go to the twins' house,
and beg for them to take us back!
641
00:44:05,780 --> 00:44:07,682
Yeah! Let's do it.
642
00:44:08,850 --> 00:44:11,886
No, hold on. I gotta take a crap.
643
00:44:12,153 --> 00:44:13,388
-Told you.
-I know.
644
00:44:13,588 --> 00:44:14,556
I know your body.
645
00:44:26,402 --> 00:44:30,307
Boys, I got some good news.
We just got your car in this morning.
646
00:44:30,708 --> 00:44:32,042
All right!
647
00:44:32,242 --> 00:44:33,811
But the bad news is...
648
00:44:34,045 --> 00:44:37,281
...not only did Officer Boyer
send your car to the impound...
649
00:44:37,482 --> 00:44:40,752
...he tagged it for auction
and it was sold this afternoon.
650
00:44:41,119 --> 00:44:42,087
Rick.
651
00:44:43,188 --> 00:44:47,159
-Do you know who bought the car?
-I have the address right here.
652
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:49,061
All right.
653
00:44:49,262 --> 00:44:51,697
But it'd be against Regulation...
654
00:44:51,898 --> 00:44:55,436
...457XY2-665 to give it to you.
655
00:44:55,702 --> 00:44:57,104
Come on. Just--
656
00:44:58,739 --> 00:45:01,575
Reaching onto this side
of the counter isn't allowed.
657
00:45:01,843 --> 00:45:05,480
The last guy who tried it ended up
with three broken fingers.
658
00:45:08,951 --> 00:45:11,520
-Reach it.
-You can reach it!
659
00:45:11,720 --> 00:45:14,156
No, I got--
One of these has carpal tunnel.
660
00:45:14,356 --> 00:45:16,960
What if I further injure myself?
661
00:45:18,594 --> 00:45:19,896
I have to do everything.
662
00:45:20,096 --> 00:45:23,533
I'm a better lookout.
My vision's better. You know that.
663
00:45:26,136 --> 00:45:27,538
That's it, that's it.
664
00:45:29,907 --> 00:45:32,610
-Got it!
-We're good, we're good.
665
00:45:34,980 --> 00:45:36,949
-What are you doing?
-Dude, I'm stuck!
666
00:45:38,350 --> 00:45:41,087
-Come on. I'm stuck.
-You seriously stuck?
667
00:45:43,389 --> 00:45:44,424
Don't!
668
00:45:45,825 --> 00:45:47,327
Dude, here she comes! Help!
669
00:45:48,195 --> 00:45:49,729
Get it!
670
00:45:57,238 --> 00:45:59,240
Hold on, hold on. I gotta get--
671
00:45:59,474 --> 00:46:01,042
Okay, okay.
672
00:46:03,612 --> 00:46:05,114
-I got it, I got it.
-Help me!
673
00:46:05,347 --> 00:46:07,783
We'll spit on it.
You know, lubrication.
674
00:46:07,984 --> 00:46:09,819
-That's gross, dude!
-Okay, fine.
675
00:46:10,820 --> 00:46:13,155
-Here she comes.
-Spit! Spit!
676
00:46:15,392 --> 00:46:19,096
Good news. I talked to my supervisor
and he said I could give you...
677
00:46:19,296 --> 00:46:21,899
-...the address after all.
-That's great.
678
00:46:23,233 --> 00:46:25,170
But the bad news is...
679
00:46:26,003 --> 00:46:29,007
...I'm gonna have to
confiscate your pinky.
680
00:46:45,058 --> 00:46:48,428
-All right, next stop, find my car.
-Good.
681
00:46:48,628 --> 00:46:52,033
Hey, check it out.
Totally gay Nordic dudes at 3:00.
682
00:46:59,675 --> 00:47:02,477
Wait. I got an idea.
683
00:47:02,678 --> 00:47:05,214
We just ask for
the continuum transfunctioner?
684
00:47:05,448 --> 00:47:08,585
-Yeah. It's that easy.
-Thank you both very much.
685
00:47:08,785 --> 00:47:12,455
-Hey, don't mention it.
-See you around the galaxy, dudes.
686
00:47:16,226 --> 00:47:17,562
Time to get your car.
687
00:47:32,879 --> 00:47:34,948
The creepy space nerds are back, dude.
688
00:47:39,419 --> 00:47:41,789
Dude, do not worry about them.
689
00:47:41,989 --> 00:47:44,258
Yeah, they're totally harmless.
690
00:48:03,513 --> 00:48:05,949
Now may I have
the continuum transfunctioner?
691
00:48:06,984 --> 00:48:08,285
Not quite yet.
692
00:48:08,652 --> 00:48:13,191
Would you consider giving it to me
while I continue to give you pleasure?
693
00:48:14,492 --> 00:48:15,526
Okay.
694
00:48:17,295 --> 00:48:19,564
-Wake up, dude.
-Oral pleasure?
695
00:48:19,998 --> 00:48:21,033
What?
696
00:48:22,634 --> 00:48:23,702
Nothing.
697
00:48:25,271 --> 00:48:27,573
Get dressed.
We're going to the big house.
698
00:48:31,945 --> 00:48:33,080
Nice outfits.
699
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:36,283
They're not outfits.
They're interstellar jumpsuits.
700
00:48:36,517 --> 00:48:39,687
-Hey. Nice interstellar jumpsuits.
-Yeah.
701
00:48:48,129 --> 00:48:50,098
Wow! Nice place.
702
00:48:50,298 --> 00:48:51,934
Is this where Zoltan--?
703
00:48:52,635 --> 00:48:54,804
-Is this where Zoltan hangs out?
-No.
704
00:48:55,137 --> 00:48:56,939
This is his parents' house.
705
00:48:57,139 --> 00:48:58,708
We're going over there.
706
00:49:00,610 --> 00:49:02,446
-A barn?
-Is it red?
707
00:49:02,646 --> 00:49:05,015
-No.
-Then it's not a barn!
708
00:49:11,555 --> 00:49:14,860
-This is creepy.
-It's like a country music video.
709
00:49:15,327 --> 00:49:19,031
All right, that's far enough.
You, there. You, over there.
710
00:49:19,231 --> 00:49:21,033
No messing around.
711
00:49:22,068 --> 00:49:24,270
Okay, do you remember which one it is?
712
00:49:36,617 --> 00:49:38,953
-Here, let me show you.
-I'll do it.
713
00:49:39,153 --> 00:49:41,022
-It's that one.
-Hey, grab the--
714
00:49:43,525 --> 00:49:44,727
Keys.
715
00:49:46,929 --> 00:49:51,601
Grab the fire extinguisher
and bonk those dudes on the head.
716
00:49:54,805 --> 00:49:56,639
You want the fire extinguisher?
717
00:50:07,385 --> 00:50:09,855
-Enough!
-No, no, it's that one.
718
00:50:10,055 --> 00:50:11,390
Fudge!
719
00:50:28,542 --> 00:50:30,177
Cool.
720
00:50:30,378 --> 00:50:31,345
What, are you deaf?
721
00:50:31,579 --> 00:50:33,481
Hey, you don't have to be mean.
722
00:50:33,681 --> 00:50:35,583
How are we gonna get out of here?
723
00:50:53,938 --> 00:50:57,375
Your attention, please.
Our imperial commander, Zoltan...
724
00:50:57,608 --> 00:51:00,578
...requests your presence
in the officentary rec room...
725
00:51:00,778 --> 00:51:03,815
...for a Level 7 meeting. Over.
726
00:51:25,005 --> 00:51:26,974
It is now my great pleasure...
727
00:51:27,174 --> 00:51:32,113
...to present to you
our wise and powerful leader...
728
00:51:32,948 --> 00:51:35,451
-...Zoltan.
-Zoltan.
729
00:51:35,684 --> 00:51:37,019
Zoltan.
730
00:51:50,067 --> 00:51:52,102
The time has come, you guys.
731
00:51:59,010 --> 00:52:01,279
We are finally going to fulfill...
732
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:04,216
...our prophecy of outer space travel.
733
00:52:04,416 --> 00:52:05,685
Zoltan.
734
00:52:05,885 --> 00:52:08,521
They laughed at us
when we said aliens existed.
735
00:52:08,721 --> 00:52:11,425
They mocked us when we wore
bubble-wrap jumpsuits.
736
00:52:11,625 --> 00:52:14,027
But who's laughing now, huh?
737
00:52:17,631 --> 00:52:19,634
I'll tell you who's laughing.
We are!
738
00:52:19,867 --> 00:52:20,934
Zoltan.
739
00:52:21,168 --> 00:52:24,439
Soon we will leave this lame planet...
740
00:52:24,739 --> 00:52:27,442
...and fly through outer space...
741
00:52:27,643 --> 00:52:30,712
...with cool aliens who like us.
742
00:52:30,946 --> 00:52:34,751
It is going to be awesome!
743
00:52:34,951 --> 00:52:36,252
Zoltan!
744
00:52:41,024 --> 00:52:44,294
That's them! They knocked us out
and stole our space suits!
745
00:52:45,062 --> 00:52:47,064
-No, we didn't.
-Yeah, you did!
746
00:52:47,398 --> 00:52:48,866
-No, we didn't.
-Yes, you did!
747
00:52:49,100 --> 00:52:50,902
-No, we didn't.
-Yes, you did!
748
00:52:51,102 --> 00:52:54,539
Hey, who you gonna believe,
us or them?
749
00:52:58,143 --> 00:53:00,980
So you're Jesse and Chester.
750
00:53:02,415 --> 00:53:05,051
I've been looking forward
to meeting you guys...
751
00:53:05,251 --> 00:53:07,454
...although, sorry
it had to be like this.
752
00:53:08,888 --> 00:53:09,990
-Chester!
-Jesse!
753
00:53:10,290 --> 00:53:11,959
-Wanda.
-Wilma!
754
00:53:12,393 --> 00:53:14,628
Normally, we wouldn't
resort to violence...
755
00:53:14,829 --> 00:53:17,999
...but we are dealing with
the continuum transfunctioner.
756
00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:22,337
If you don't deliver it to us,
your girlfriends are history.
757
00:53:23,973 --> 00:53:26,375
Don't worry, girls. We'll save you.
758
00:53:26,575 --> 00:53:28,377
Yeah, you can depend on us.
759
00:53:29,679 --> 00:53:31,113
Enough.
760
00:53:31,414 --> 00:53:36,286
Go now, and bring us
the continuum transfunctioner.
761
00:53:37,654 --> 00:53:40,924
And be quiet on your way out.
My parents are taking a nap.
762
00:53:51,637 --> 00:53:52,938
And then tell us where...
763
00:53:53,139 --> 00:53:56,175
-...the continuum transfunctioner is.
-And then?
764
00:53:56,509 --> 00:53:59,578
-And then we'll be able to go get it.
-And then?
765
00:54:03,117 --> 00:54:05,586
Can I get an order
of shrimp fried rice?
766
00:54:10,525 --> 00:54:13,061
-I don't see the car.
-It better be in there.
767
00:54:13,295 --> 00:54:14,929
I almost lost my pinky for it.
768
00:54:16,431 --> 00:54:20,269
Oh, man, I'm sensing something
very Canadian about this place.
769
00:54:26,709 --> 00:54:28,244
Plan B.
770
00:54:31,782 --> 00:54:33,083
All right.
771
00:54:33,817 --> 00:54:35,085
Are you ready?
772
00:54:35,285 --> 00:54:36,988
Let's do this.
773
00:54:37,388 --> 00:54:40,959
One, two, three.
774
00:54:47,132 --> 00:54:48,200
I'm okay. You okay?
775
00:54:50,469 --> 00:54:51,570
Shibby.
776
00:55:27,010 --> 00:55:30,247
Dude, it's a llama.
777
00:55:30,481 --> 00:55:33,651
It's not a llama. It's an ostrich.
778
00:55:33,852 --> 00:55:36,354
Okay, okay, okay...
779
00:55:36,588 --> 00:55:38,857
...very slowly, let's turn around...
780
00:55:39,791 --> 00:55:42,628
-...and go back the other way.
-Okay.
781
00:55:47,500 --> 00:55:48,668
New plan.
782
00:55:48,868 --> 00:55:53,407
We turn around again, very slowly...
783
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:57,044
-...and go back the other way.
-Okay.
784
00:56:03,918 --> 00:56:05,587
They're everywhere.
785
00:56:08,590 --> 00:56:09,591
What now?
786
00:56:10,158 --> 00:56:13,929
Hey, I saw this thing
about ostriches on Animal Planet.
787
00:56:14,130 --> 00:56:16,032
-They're llamas, dude.
-No.
788
00:56:16,566 --> 00:56:20,704
What you're supposed to do
is stand very still...
789
00:56:20,904 --> 00:56:24,007
...and eventually,
they'll get bored and go away.
790
00:56:28,946 --> 00:56:30,314
I think it's working.
791
00:56:38,557 --> 00:56:40,359
Stupid llamas!
792
00:56:42,862 --> 00:56:44,097
Chester!
793
00:56:48,401 --> 00:56:50,103
Just get in this car!
794
00:56:52,206 --> 00:56:53,474
Go, go!
795
00:56:55,643 --> 00:56:57,311
What do ostriches eat?
796
00:56:57,512 --> 00:56:58,880
-Why?
-Well...
797
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:01,049
...if they eat peanuts...
798
00:57:01,249 --> 00:57:03,886
...we can just throw a peanut
and they'll go away.
799
00:57:04,286 --> 00:57:08,190
-We don't have any peanuts.
-Weak! We're screwed!
800
00:57:17,635 --> 00:57:19,603
They're leaving. It worked.
801
00:57:19,836 --> 00:57:21,238
What worked?
802
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:23,007
Whatever we did!
803
00:57:40,026 --> 00:57:43,296
Now may I have
the continuum transfunctioner?
804
00:57:44,564 --> 00:57:46,032
Not quite yet.
805
00:57:46,467 --> 00:57:47,668
Please?
806
00:57:51,472 --> 00:57:52,807
Scary dream, huh?
807
00:57:53,008 --> 00:57:55,210
What's up? My name is Mark.
808
00:57:56,611 --> 00:57:59,715
-Where are we?
-You're in the punishment room.
809
00:57:59,949 --> 00:58:03,152
This is where he likes to keep
the ostrich poachers.
810
00:58:03,486 --> 00:58:05,855
-Poachers?
-Yeah, that's right.
811
00:58:06,056 --> 00:58:09,659
I've been in this cage for three
years, five months, and 17 days...
812
00:58:09,893 --> 00:58:11,428
...but who's counting?
813
00:58:13,497 --> 00:58:14,465
How's my breath?
814
00:58:17,301 --> 00:58:18,469
That bad, huh?
815
00:58:18,669 --> 00:58:22,206
Where you guys from?
I'm from Connecticut. Hi. Mark.
816
00:58:22,507 --> 00:58:23,475
There we go.
817
00:58:24,509 --> 00:58:26,478
Chester! Get him off!
818
00:58:26,845 --> 00:58:28,146
Pierre!
819
00:58:29,748 --> 00:58:32,819
No, that's not what it looks like.
Maybe a little bit.
820
00:58:33,053 --> 00:58:35,021
-How was your nap?
-Shut up!
821
00:58:35,388 --> 00:58:38,925
Okay. Well, somebody
sure is a Grumpy Gus today.
822
00:58:41,595 --> 00:58:46,000
In France, when a man is caught
poaching ostriches...
823
00:58:46,201 --> 00:58:50,972
...we shave his head, and we make him
run through the fields.
824
00:58:51,172 --> 00:58:52,841
Oh, God, that's the good part.
825
00:58:53,041 --> 00:58:55,244
Once you have seen this...
826
00:58:57,279 --> 00:58:59,582
...you are never quite the same.
827
00:58:59,949 --> 00:59:02,819
-Okay.
-Tell me about it. I used to model.
828
00:59:03,387 --> 00:59:05,722
Lucky for you, I am an honorable man.
829
00:59:06,123 --> 00:59:07,891
A what? I'm sorry?
830
00:59:08,292 --> 00:59:10,561
I said, "I am an honorable man."
831
00:59:10,828 --> 00:59:13,064
I'm sorry, I-- "Honorgable"?
832
00:59:13,264 --> 00:59:14,899
-Honorable.
-"Honorgable."
833
00:59:15,099 --> 00:59:16,501
-Honorable.
-"Honorgable."
834
00:59:16,701 --> 00:59:18,970
-What are you saying?
-Honorable.
835
00:59:19,171 --> 00:59:21,373
I think you're trying
to say honorable.
836
00:59:21,574 --> 00:59:24,310
-Shut up!
-Hey! I'm sorry.
837
00:59:24,844 --> 00:59:28,347
All right, here it is.
I am going to ask you a question.
838
00:59:28,581 --> 00:59:31,084
If you get it right,
I will set you free.
839
00:59:31,651 --> 00:59:35,656
If you get it wrong, well,
you will be spending a lot of time...
840
00:59:35,889 --> 00:59:38,392
...with the ever-popular Mark.
841
00:59:39,827 --> 00:59:41,295
I can be very nice.
842
00:59:41,763 --> 00:59:44,065
All right. Here it is.
843
00:59:44,466 --> 00:59:47,135
What is the average running speed...
844
00:59:47,736 --> 00:59:52,341
...of a full-grown male
African ostrich?
845
00:59:52,575 --> 00:59:53,943
Pass.
846
00:59:54,677 --> 00:59:56,846
-Pass to me. I know it.
-Pass to Mark.
847
00:59:57,047 --> 01:00:01,184
You cannot pass! Shut up!
Do I have to hose you down again?
848
01:00:01,385 --> 01:00:02,586
Don't hose me!
849
01:00:02,786 --> 01:00:03,854
Maybe later.
850
01:00:04,188 --> 01:00:06,991
-Dude, we're dead.
-Hey, not so fast.
851
01:00:08,326 --> 01:00:12,097
The full-grown male African ostrich
or the Latin Struthio camelus...
852
01:00:12,597 --> 01:00:15,701
...can grow to an average size
of 6 feet, 6 inches...
853
01:00:15,935 --> 01:00:17,636
...and weigh from 225 to 350 pounds...
854
01:00:18,304 --> 01:00:21,574
...and can get up to an average speed
of 27 miles per hour.
855
01:00:21,741 --> 01:00:23,776
This is absolutely correct!
856
01:00:24,444 --> 01:00:25,445
Animal Planet.
857
01:00:25,712 --> 01:00:27,247
Well, I said, "Brown."
858
01:00:27,514 --> 01:00:30,351
Here, let me get you out
of this stinking cage.
859
01:00:31,252 --> 01:00:34,254
Oh, please forgive me.
Can I get you guys some beers?
860
01:00:34,488 --> 01:00:36,157
I'd like a near beer, please.
861
01:00:36,357 --> 01:00:37,325
Shut up!
862
01:00:37,559 --> 01:00:40,028
We just came about the car
you bought today.
863
01:00:40,228 --> 01:00:42,063
We wanted to get some stuff out.
864
01:00:42,263 --> 01:00:44,733
No problem. Right this way.
865
01:00:44,933 --> 01:00:48,804
-It was nice meeting you guys.
-Good luck with the modeling thing.
866
01:00:49,005 --> 01:00:52,209
You e-mail me, okay? FreakInCage.com.
867
01:00:57,881 --> 01:01:01,886
Sacre bleu, the car was here
this afternoon. It-- It--
868
01:01:02,253 --> 01:01:03,721
It just disappear!
869
01:01:04,055 --> 01:01:08,593
-How do you just lose a car?
-I'm so sorry, you guys.
870
01:01:08,827 --> 01:01:12,531
-I feel terrible.
-All right, Pierre, just focus here.
871
01:01:13,132 --> 01:01:14,967
Was there anything in the car?
872
01:01:15,601 --> 01:01:17,003
No, nothing.
873
01:01:17,270 --> 01:01:20,640
Except, of course, for this.
874
01:01:23,176 --> 01:01:24,377
Dude!
875
01:01:39,594 --> 01:01:42,798
Dude, I'm having my next
birthday party here for sure.
876
01:01:42,999 --> 01:01:44,166
Yeah, me too.
877
01:01:48,839 --> 01:01:50,173
Cool.
878
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:53,277
Excuse me. Can you tell me
where locker 206 is?
879
01:01:53,511 --> 01:01:55,079
Yeah, it's right over there.
880
01:01:55,312 --> 01:01:57,448
It's you guys!
Dude, you guys played...
881
01:01:57,681 --> 01:01:59,918
...an amazing round
of putt-putt last night.
882
01:02:01,086 --> 01:02:02,854
-We did?
-Oh, yeah.
883
01:02:03,489 --> 01:02:05,457
-Thanks, dude.
-Shibby.
884
01:02:06,525 --> 01:02:07,793
Here it is.
885
01:02:08,127 --> 01:02:11,498
-I sure hope my money's in there.
-Yep.
886
01:02:11,698 --> 01:02:14,134
-Who are you?
-This is my boyfriend, Patty.
887
01:02:14,334 --> 01:02:15,736
Nice to meet you.
888
01:02:16,036 --> 01:02:17,905
How do you keep popping up?
889
01:02:18,906 --> 01:02:22,076
Less questions,
more giving me my money.
890
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:27,849
Well, I guess this is it.
891
01:02:28,149 --> 01:02:30,452
Yep. The moment of truth.
892
01:02:30,819 --> 01:02:34,824
It's been a long, strange trip, dude.
893
01:02:35,057 --> 01:02:37,026
It sure has, Jesse.
894
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:40,230
Hey! I've got a plane to catch.
895
01:02:40,463 --> 01:02:42,365
Okay, okay, okay.
896
01:02:47,438 --> 01:02:49,941
Oh, my suitcase!
897
01:02:54,412 --> 01:02:57,049
Oh, my God! You guys are the best.
898
01:02:57,515 --> 01:02:59,384
Thank you so much.
899
01:03:04,757 --> 01:03:08,495
Thanks for your help, fella.
Good work.
900
01:03:11,598 --> 01:03:14,668
Are we supposed to be
grossed out by this, or...?
901
01:03:14,902 --> 01:03:16,604
I don't know.
902
01:03:17,305 --> 01:03:18,773
Bye.
903
01:03:20,741 --> 01:03:22,644
Look at this stuff.
904
01:03:23,445 --> 01:03:25,547
Captain Stu tickets.
905
01:03:26,014 --> 01:03:27,649
Awesome!
906
01:03:28,284 --> 01:03:30,753
Oh, jellybeans.
907
01:03:33,222 --> 01:03:34,957
No jellybeans.
908
01:03:36,225 --> 01:03:37,727
Cool straw.
909
01:03:38,595 --> 01:03:40,631
-I'm gonna keep this.
-Yeah.
910
01:03:53,979 --> 01:03:55,981
I don't see a
continuum transfunctioner.
911
01:03:56,214 --> 01:03:59,986
Wait a second. What do we know
about the continuum transfunctioner?
912
01:04:00,186 --> 01:04:02,655
It's a very mysterious
and powerful device.
913
01:04:02,855 --> 01:04:03,823
And?
914
01:04:04,057 --> 01:04:07,027
And its mystery
is only exceeded by its power.
915
01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:09,797
But has anyone ever said
what it looks like?
916
01:04:11,699 --> 01:04:12,767
No.
917
01:04:13,034 --> 01:04:14,335
They haven't.
918
01:04:25,615 --> 01:04:27,683
That was Jesse and Chester.
919
01:04:28,184 --> 01:04:31,221
They've got
the continuum transfunctioner!
920
01:04:33,023 --> 01:04:34,758
Quick! To my mother's minivan!
921
01:04:40,131 --> 01:04:41,733
That was Jesse and Chester.
922
01:04:41,966 --> 01:04:44,369
They've got
the continuum transfunctioner.
923
01:04:46,304 --> 01:04:48,607
Quick! To my step dad's pickup truck!
924
01:04:51,143 --> 01:04:53,545
I'm getting the hang
of this thing, dude.
925
01:04:56,482 --> 01:04:57,851
Yes!
926
01:04:59,619 --> 01:05:03,023
Oh, yes! I finally beat you!
927
01:05:03,757 --> 01:05:05,726
You. You're a competitor.
928
01:05:06,694 --> 01:05:10,164
Oh, boy. You got me the first nine,
but not number 10.
929
01:05:10,999 --> 01:05:11,999
Not gonna happen.
930
01:05:13,468 --> 01:05:15,103
-Final showdown time.
-Chester.
931
01:05:15,337 --> 01:05:16,805
-Jesse.
-Don't worry, girls.
932
01:05:17,272 --> 01:05:19,241
We're here to save the day.
933
01:05:19,708 --> 01:05:22,878
Quit it. These things are expensive.
934
01:05:23,779 --> 01:05:27,817
Enough! Do you have
the continuum transfunctioner or not?
935
01:05:28,852 --> 01:05:30,254
Right here.
936
01:05:31,087 --> 01:05:34,258
-Now release the girls.
-First give up the transfunctioner.
937
01:05:34,492 --> 01:05:38,396
-First release the girls.
-First give us the transfunctioner.
938
01:05:38,596 --> 01:05:39,964
Same time.
939
01:05:42,467 --> 01:05:43,602
Yes!
940
01:05:48,273 --> 01:05:49,542
There they are.
941
01:05:50,042 --> 01:05:53,312
Okay, stoners, where's
the continuum transfunctioner?
942
01:06:04,058 --> 01:06:05,660
Release dodo bird.
943
01:06:09,498 --> 01:06:11,299
-Tommy, you're such a jerk.
-Yeah.
944
01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:15,004
-That's our continuum transfunctioner.
-Well, now it's mine.
945
01:06:16,405 --> 01:06:17,673
Nerd.
946
01:06:22,512 --> 01:06:25,215
-Dude, let's get out of here.
-Yeah.
947
01:06:26,850 --> 01:06:29,420
Where is the
continuum transfunctioner?
948
01:06:29,654 --> 01:06:30,888
We don't have it.
949
01:06:31,088 --> 01:06:34,959
But we'd like you to meet
our girlfriends, Wanda and Wilma.
950
01:06:35,260 --> 01:06:36,361
We've already met.
951
01:06:36,595 --> 01:06:40,299
-Stay away from our boyfriends.
-You fake-breasted sluts.
952
01:06:42,067 --> 01:06:44,370
Okay, let's go this way.
953
01:06:46,339 --> 01:06:49,343
Halt. Where is the
continuum transfunctioner?
954
01:06:49,576 --> 01:06:51,912
You want to go talk
to that guy over there.
955
01:06:52,279 --> 01:06:53,813
Let the pleasure begin.
956
01:06:54,047 --> 01:06:56,250
That's not the
continuum transfunctioner.
957
01:06:56,784 --> 01:06:57,852
Of course, it is.
958
01:07:01,522 --> 01:07:03,491
Follow the kids.
Come on, follow them.
959
01:07:03,691 --> 01:07:05,627
Go, go, go.
960
01:07:19,509 --> 01:07:21,645
Nerd-bashing time.
961
01:07:22,112 --> 01:07:23,414
It's not our fault.
962
01:07:23,614 --> 01:07:24,682
It was them.
963
01:07:25,116 --> 01:07:27,952
Looking for a Smokey McPot.
964
01:07:28,152 --> 01:07:31,389
I have a delivery
for a Smokey McPot.
965
01:07:31,589 --> 01:07:34,126
-You ordered pizza?
-I figured we'd get hungry.
966
01:07:34,359 --> 01:07:36,595
Oh, no, it's you two!
967
01:07:37,263 --> 01:07:38,497
Look, I almost got it.
968
01:07:38,697 --> 01:07:42,602
You're really starting to irk me
with your Rubik's Cube fixation!
969
01:07:42,802 --> 01:07:44,271
Sweet!
970
01:07:56,884 --> 01:07:58,753
No wonder they're so impossible.
971
01:07:59,053 --> 01:08:01,723
You've activated the
continuum transfunctioner.
972
01:08:01,923 --> 01:08:03,158
What's going on?
973
01:08:03,359 --> 01:08:06,261
Once all five of the
dirugian crystals stop flashing...
974
01:08:06,495 --> 01:08:08,398
...the universe will be destroyed.
975
01:08:08,598 --> 01:08:09,832
How do you know?
976
01:08:10,032 --> 01:08:12,435
We intercepted
interstellar transmissions.
977
01:08:12,636 --> 01:08:14,671
-Zoltan.
-Nerds.
978
01:08:15,105 --> 01:08:16,307
Way to go, Chester.
979
01:08:16,540 --> 01:08:17,941
Sorry.
980
01:08:18,242 --> 01:08:20,378
You must give it to us
to deactivate it.
981
01:08:20,611 --> 01:08:22,947
We are the keepers
of the transfunctioner.
982
01:08:23,148 --> 01:08:25,383
They will use it
to destroy the universe.
983
01:08:25,584 --> 01:08:28,987
No, we are the keepers
of the continuum transfunctioner.
984
01:08:29,187 --> 01:08:32,291
-They want to destroy the universe.
-Stop copying us.
985
01:08:32,525 --> 01:08:34,560
-Stop copying us.
-Stop copying us.
986
01:08:34,827 --> 01:08:36,596
-Stop copying us.
-Bitch.
987
01:08:37,196 --> 01:08:40,634
Don't you guys remember?
We came to this planet last night...
988
01:08:40,867 --> 01:08:43,570
...to escape the clutches
of those evil space sluts.
989
01:08:43,771 --> 01:08:47,107
-We met you here.
-You gave us a ride to our spaceship.
990
01:08:47,308 --> 01:08:50,478
And we realized we'd lost
the continuum transfunctioner.
991
01:08:51,413 --> 01:08:54,015
Hurry, there's only three
blinking lights left.
992
01:08:54,649 --> 01:08:55,617
Bye-bye, universe.
993
01:08:55,851 --> 01:08:59,021
He's right, dude.
We're gonna make the wrong decision.
994
01:08:59,522 --> 01:09:03,159
You know what, dude? I refuse
to let us go down in history...
995
01:09:03,392 --> 01:09:05,661
...as the dudes
who destroyed the universe.
996
01:09:05,862 --> 01:09:09,366
How do we find out
which ones are the true keepers?
997
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:12,570
It's simple. We ask them
a question about last night...
998
01:09:12,770 --> 01:09:15,940
...that only the ones that are
telling the truth would know.
999
01:09:16,140 --> 01:09:18,109
But we can't remember a thing.
1000
01:09:19,911 --> 01:09:21,679
-You gotta hurry.
-Not now, Jeff.
1001
01:09:21,947 --> 01:09:22,981
Zip it.
1002
01:09:25,918 --> 01:09:28,988
If we really did give one of you guys
a ride last night...
1003
01:09:29,221 --> 01:09:31,190
...then you'll know
the answer to this.
1004
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:35,228
Hurry!
1005
01:09:36,463 --> 01:09:39,500
What score did we get
on the 18th hole...
1006
01:09:39,734 --> 01:09:42,103
...of the miniature golf course
last night?
1007
01:09:49,111 --> 01:09:50,378
You got a hole in one.
10074317
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