Original subtitles

Previously on "The Vampire Diaries"...

You have the ability to keep living

inside someone else's body.

Katherine Pierce has permanent control

of Elena Gilbert's body.

I want my daughter, I want immortality,

and I want Stefan Salvatore.

I know how bad I screwed up.

I need you.

We're over.

Why would Nadia be compelling me?

I need a crash course on all things Elena Gilbert,

and I figured who knows her better

than her compellable best friend?

So tell me, now that you've slept with Klaus,

how was it?

Oh, my God.

And you are?

My backup.

Wes has this sick little scheme

to destroy vampires by making them feed

on each other.

I can see how this might be a problem.

You think the fella loved milking cows?

Probably. Then she became one,

so he drank himself into oblivion,

she cheated with the pastor.

Hey. Just because you lost your true love

doesn't mean you have to dump on others.

There's no love in there. Look at that picture.

It's old,

and the milkmaid's nowhere to be found.

It's just pathetic old farmer John.

Manners. It's impolite to speak ill of our hosts.

Doubt he'll mind.

Somebody's cranky.

It's been almost 8 hours since you last fed,

so I suppose that's about right.

You're timing me?

You feed on vampires now.

I am a vampire.

The only way to assure my safety

is to know how long you can last

before your next fix.

Or you can just leave.

I don't abandon my friends, Damon.

Besides, if you hadn't come with me to kill Dr. Wes,

he wouldn't have stuck you with that nasty virus.

Ah! Just in time.

Hello!

What did you do?

What's happening?

Uh, you died,

but luckily, you had my blood in your system,

so when you drink this,

you'll feel much better.

There you are.

Good boy.

What was that?

That was blood. You're a vampire.

Congratulations.

I'm a what?

I know. It's overwhelming,

and Damon will explain more in a bit,

but before he does, settle a bet.

Your wife. Where is she?

Wait. I drink blood now?

Again, we'll explain everything.

Where's your wife?

She's gone. She left me years ago.

Pastor?

Pastor?

Pharmacist.

Yes. I will take that as a win for me,

not for you.

Oh, stop trying to scare me, Damon.

I'm not leaving you. I'm the only friend you have left.

♪The Vampire Diaries 05x14 ♪ No Exit Original Air Date on February 27, 2014

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man

Roman Empire.

76 A.D. sacked by the Goths.

Han Dynasty.

220 A.D.

Holy Roman Empire.

Not really an empire,

but 1648.

There goes your perfect score.

What? No. That was right.

No, no, no. The book says 1806.

Heh. Ok. Well, 1806 may technically be right,

but it was the Peace of Westphalia

that truly ended the empire,

and that was in 1648.

Trust me.

I may have done a paper

on the holy Roman Empire in high school.

Well, if you want to pass the test,

I suggest you write down exactly what's

in your textbook.

Oh. Caroline's here.

I asked the sheriff to help me track down Damon.

You were right. He's off the rails.

This is from my mom.

Let me guess-- missing persons and animal attacks.

Check and check.

There's something else.

All the victims were found inside their homes

without their head,

and there skin was desiccated.

Damon's feeding on vampires.

I shouldn't have let him go.

No! Uh-uh. No!

You are not turning Damon's roosting chickens

into a Stefan Salvatore guilt trip.

No one could have stopped him from going after Wes the other night.

Guess Wes must have injected him

with whatever he was gonna give Elena

that makes vampires feed on vampires.

Good news, bad news.

Bad news is that when this happened to Jesse

we had to kill him,

but the good news is...

I'm sorry. Usually there's some good news.

I have to find him.

Well, I can come with you.

Elena, hey!

I didn't know that you were here.

Well, Stefan has been helping me study.

Oh. Stefan who doesn't go to college.

Stefan who's an expert in history.

Uh-huh. Um...

It's Tyler.

I haven't really spoken to him

since, the, um, incident.

The incident? You mean the time

where he almost killed you?

Hey.

Hey, have you talked to Matt?

No. Why?

Because it turns out Nadia's been compelling

him to forget things.

Matt said he was gonna avoid her,

but now I haven't heard from him.

Do you think that he's in trouble?

He hasn't been home or at work,

and his cell phone goes straight to voicemail.

Ok. Well, I'll come right over and--

No. That's not why I called.

No. I know, but I think that

we can figure this out together.

I'll see you soon.

Maybe I should come with you.

No. No. You deal with Damon.

We can handle this.

Besides, it's time that we move into the next phase

of our post-breakup, pre-friendship

relationship timeline.

Ok. I'm gonna stay out that one.

I'm gonna get some clothes,

and you'll pick me up at my dorm?

Sure.

Bad news is Tyler hates you,

but the good news is...hmm.

It'll be fine.

We both have weird ex...friend situations.

We? There's nothing weird going on

between Elena and me.

Come on, Stefan!

First she tells you that she's gonna fight

to get Damon back,

and then she rebreaks up with him,

and now she's here with you, her ex, studying?

She's here with her friend studying

without the implied quotes.

Look. I'm just saying that Elena and Damon's breakup

is messy,

and you are not messy.

You're stable and sane and--

and I'm about to spend 12 hours in a car with her alone,

so whatever she's feeling

I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out.

What's going on with Matt?

Nothing.

Really? Because goldilocks

and the big bad wolf are meeting to powwow

about him as we speak.

Fine. Matt found out about you.

He what?!

Tyler gave him Vervain.

Kill him.

Katherine!

Kill him now.

He doesn't need to die.

The Vervain will be out of his system soon,

and I've kept him out of sight for two days,

so he hasn't told anyone.

So you two have just been tucked away, canoodling?

I don't even know what that means.

We all love Matt Donovan.

Otherwise, he would have been dead a long time ago,

but when it comes to keeping my new doppelganger body

a secret, nobody is that important.

I am going out of town with Stefan

because he wants to find Damon.

I thought you wanted Damon out of the picture.

Meh. I do,

but I saw an opportunity to be alone with Stefan

for a few days, and, well, I took it.

And what happens when you get too close,

too comfortable?

What happens when you slip up?

Will you kill your precious Stefan, too?

Using my own words against me.

Now that's a Petrova specialty.

Take care of the Matt issue

before I get back into town,

or I'll have to do it myself.

It'll be fine.

I just need to convince my friends that I'm ok.

I'll keep your secret.

No one has to die.

Relax.

Heh heh heh.

I'm not going to syrup you to death.

What's canoodling?

I didn't realize you liked to play with dolls.

Well, my brother likes to make a big show,

set them up, put their heads back on,

pretend like it didn't happen.

I, on the other hand, don't give a crap.

Well, we've got 8 hours till you need to feed again.

I wonder, what's New York like these days.

Crowded.

Perfect. Let's go.

Oh, what is that?

It's the obnoxious theme song of the Travelers.

Unh!

Aww.

As a man of science, I always considered

magic a cheat.

Turns out I cheat.

How's the appetite?

Funny you should ask. I was just craving a blond.

You're my patient zero, Damon.

I couldn't let you ride off into the sunset

without running a few tests.

A few tests.

Well, one test.

Now that you're trapped with only one source of food,

how long can you go before you feed on your best friend?

You ever think about getting a new car?

What are you talking about?

This car's a classic.

Yeah, and so is, uh, Wright brothers' plane,

but you don't see people still flying around in that thing.

You know, uh...

I appreciate you being here,

but you didn't have to come.

I told you I'm doing this for you

because you're still holding on to the hope

that maybe this is the time that Damon can be saved.

And you don't think he can?

Look. I know that he crossed a line with Jeremy,

but, you know, he's crossed many lines before.

You mean, when he actually killed Jeremy?

Yes, I recall.

I'm just saying you've never really

closed him off like this before.

I mean, obviously, I still care about Damon.

I guess I got my hopes up too many times

I want off the emotional roller coaster

that is Damon's redemption.

You know, it's just-- it's dizzying.

Are you hungry? Because I'm starving.

Um, sure. What do you want?

Whatever you're having

but with a lot more salt

and maybe covered in chocolate.

Coming right up.

Give it up, mate.

Those Travelers sealed this whole place up tight.

The spell can't last forever.

Doesn't need to. Wes only needs it

to last 8 hours, remember?

Then he can come back inside

and autopsy my mangled corpse.

You're prey zen about all this.

Did you forget everything I taught you in that cell?

Calmer heads will always prevail.

Always the solider.

But you do have people we can call,

like your brother or your ex,

who can in turn find Wes and threaten him

or maim him

or anything that doesn't involve your fangs

on my neck.

My brother told me to leave and not come back.

I'm not calling him.

So my life is not worth your pride?

They won't come.

Or they will.

Then you might hurt them.

Don't want to risk, do you?

Me on the other hand...

I'm not gonna feed on you.

I'll find another way.

Thank you.

Mmm. That's good coffee.

Although I usually take mine

with a little more awkward silence.

Nice try, but you don't take

anything with silence.

So Matt. He's missing?

I don't know if he's missing.

He just hasn't been home in two days,

and he's not answering his phone.

Matt?

Caroline! What are you doing here?

Kind of wondering the same thing.

Where the hell have you been?

Did I give you my sunglasses?

Oh. Hello.

I thought you said they wouldn't be home.

Ok. Rewind. Start over.

This whole time you've been with Nadia?

It's a long story.

Nadia, come on in.

Hmm.

Oh, man.

Hey. Can you hold this for a second?

Yeah.

Careful. It has grease on it.

Oh, ok.

I have no idea how this hose ripped out,

but we're not gonna be able to go anywhere

until I get a new one.

I guess I'll see if that mechanic has a spare.

You weren't careful at all?

What? What?

Ohh! I love this shirt.

You loved that shirt.

Great. Awesome that's just awesome.

Now there's grease all over your face.

Ugh!

Well, you've got all that engine stuff on you,

and I clearly have to change.

I saw a hotel, like, a couple streets down that way.

Do you think we should get a room

so that we can shower while we're waiting for the car?

No. I should probably stay here in case they finish early,

but you can go.

Give them your phone number.

I assume that your phone does receive

incoming calls, right?

Or is it from the Han Dynasty

just like your car?

That's funny.

Will you grab my bag?

Sure. Be right there.

I was on my way out of town,

and then there she was,

sitting on the front steps,

waiting for me.

Subtlety's not my strong suit.

I felt bad about compelling him

and bad about snapping your neck.

Again, subtlety.

So why haven't you been answering your phone?

Uh, I lost it the first night.

First night where?

Atlantic City.

I'd never been, neither had Matt.

1 drink led to 3 and to 5

and then, uh...

The rest is kind of a blur.

Yeah, because she's compelling you!

Caroline, I'm wearing Vervain.

She's not compelling me.

Where have you been the last two days?

I told you. She's not compelling me.

We're having fun.

Oh. Fun!

Just like the time she buried you alive!

Whoo! Pop open the champagne!

I thought you said she'd be cool with us hanging out.

And what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Uh...

It means you've done nothing but judge Matt

since he walked through that door

when everyone here knows you're not exactly

winning friends with your romantic choices.

Isn't that right, Tyler?

I don't want to be a part of this.

She's just trying to get under our skin to distract us.

From what?

This is Matt we're talking about.

Did you forget that time he went to Europe with Rebekah

after she ran his truck off the road?

You're not seriously buying all this?

Hell of a lot easier to buy

than other things that have happened.

So what did you do, bring your entire closet?

Well, I didn't know how long we'd be gone,

and let's be honest.

Damon's spirals require a little more

than an overnight bag.

Mm-hmm.

We'll get him back.

He's, uh--he's hurt, but he's not

a lost cause.

What makes you think that?

Because I know what he's going through.

What do you mean?

You don't know what it's like being in love with you.

You know, when you and I were together,

every single atom in my body told me

that it was the right thing,

that we were the perfect fit,

and that kind of love,

it can change your whole life,

and then when somebody who made you feel that way

suddenly stops,

the vacuum is just...

I get it.

They built a whole prophecy around it.

He's not handling it right,

but he's not gone.

You need a refill.

I should go wash up.

Ok.

Towing chains. Farmer's best friend.

In about an hour, mine.

Take a seat.

They're not gonna let us out of here until I kill you...

Or you kill me.

Don't be dramatic.

We'll work something out.

There's no cure, Enzo, not for this.

You've given it all of two days.

That's what you do, isn't it?

There's a problem, you run.

You did it to me,

you did it to your girl.

Because when I stay, I destroy things.

We're not all as fragile as you think we are.

What the hell are you doing?

Calling for backup.

I thought I told you not call them.

And I told you your pride isn't worth either of our lives.

Oh, my God. Damon?

Hello, Stefan. How wonderful to hear

your beautiful feminine voice.

Enzo. What the hell do you want?

I'm in a spot of trouble actually.

Where's Damon?

Oh, he's here, salivating,

about to chomp into my neck and feed

until my head pops off in a grotesque

but slightly comical fashion.

Wes infected him?

You know about the virus. Good. We could use a hand.

Wes enlisted some of those singing witches

and trapped us in the house.

Do not come here!

He doesn't want to risk feeding on you.

That's sweet really, but you'll be fine.

Besides if he does feed on you,

I have orders to kill him.

Ok. Um, text me the address to my phone,

and we'll be there as soon as we can.

Fine. And, uh, ticktock.

I managed to restrain him,

but you know how persistent Damon can be

when he wants something.

We'll be there soon.

You say something?

No. Heh.

It'll be all right, mate.

They'll come, and we'll sort something out.

Or they'll come, and I'll feed on them.

Those are also options.

As long as I live, I'm good.

Joking. Kind of.

If you were aiming for my heart, you missed.

Don't worry. I wasn't.

Chains were a good idea.

Now I can see exactly how strong he becomes

when enraged.

Conclusion--very strong.

Boy, do I miss that indestructible Augustine cage

right about now.

Damon, stop! Damon, stop!

Stop! Please, Damon, stop!

Damon, stop! Stop, please!

Damon! Aah! Aah!

What did you do to him?

My friends here raised the acidity of your blood.

There must be some witchy explanation for it,

but Damon's basically drinking hydrochloric acid.

I suggest you leave before the spell wears off.

And go where-- with you?

There's one more thing I need from you.

Then I'll let you go for good.

The other option is to stay in here

with your cannibal friend and see how long you last.

Go, Enzo!

I tried to kill you. I'll do it again.

Go, Enzo!

Car's done.

I'll be right there.

Hey, um...

Would mind grabbing me my shirt?

It's the--the green one right on top.

Yeah, sure.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

This is... This is wrong.

We, uh...

You and Damon just split up.

You don't have to, um--you're right.

I'm--I'm sorry. I was just in the moment.

I shouldn't have.

Yeah.

We have a long night ahead of us,

so maybe we should--

Yeah. Um, you know what?

Why don't you go, um, settle up the bill,

and I'll--I'll finish packing?

Heh.

Who do you think Stefan loves more,

Damon or Elena?

Why are you calling me?

Damon has been infected by the ripper virus,

and I know exactly where he is,

so if I can get Damon to attack me,

the only way to save me would be for Stefan to kill him.

You're going to make Stefan kill his brother?

Dark, even for you.

Thank you.

So how goes it with Matty blue eyes?

Dead yet?

Still working on it.

Good luck with your plan to win Stefan's love.

So...I'm curious.

We spent a few days together now.

Canoodling?

Canoodling. Exactly.

It seems like you went through all this trouble

to save your mom, but she only seems interested in Stefan.

That's Katherine.

I didn't expect mother-daughter boozy brunches.

Yeah, but you did expect something.

Are you going to play a card or what?

Look. I've been where you are.

My mom used to disappear for weeks at a time

and then show up one day out of the blue

like nothing happened.

Before you knew it, I'd be at the stove,

making her a grilled cheese.

This isn't like that.

Isn't it? She decides when you're worth it

on her watch, but guess what.

You're never gonna be as interesting

as the next guy she wants to sleep with.

Matt, you'd say anything to help Elena.

I'm not an idiot.

You are if you think that Katherine's

gonna choose you-- because she's not.

Do you know why you found yourself making all those sandwiches?

Because the second your mom walked back into your life,

you forgot all those horrible things that she did

because at the end of the day,

she's still your mom,

and you love her.

Give me your wrist.

The Vervain is gone.

Our fun is over.

Wait.

Since I'm gonna forget this anyway...

What was that for?

Thank you.

If I'm gonna be threatened and held against my will,

I could think of worse scenarios.

What the hell?

What'd you expect? Elena's my best friend.

I'll always protect her.

It just sucks.

You were the only decent person in this town.

And I still am, and so are you.

You could have killed me this morning, and you didn't.

You're not like her, and you know it.

Forget everything you're not supposed to know.

We partied, we slept together,

then I left.

Good-bye.

Going somewhere?

Actually, I am, and you're in my way.

Matt, are you ok?

Yeah. Why? What's going on in here?

You texted me from Nadia's phone.

So you compelled him again.

And they say blonds are dumb.

What are you doing to him? Tell me!

Nadia, stop!

You may not remember, Matt,

but this is your fault.

Trust me.

Young hybrid beats old vampire every time!

Wait a second! Does anyone want to tell me

how this is my fault?

Elena.

Don't.

Do not.

I said don't!

You come in here, you ain't coming out.

What exactly happened here?

I wanted revenge,

got stuck with the vampire virus,

almost killed my last friend.

Typical Damon.

Enzo texted me the address here.

Damon, we're here to help you.

You can't help me.

I feed on vampires now.

You're both vampires.

Do yourselves a favor and leave.

Well, that's not gonna happen.

Stay back!

I'm not afraid of you, Damon.

Neither am I.

You better get out.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I'm proving to you that you're not a lost cause, Damon.

Elena.

See?

Ugh!

Damon, you can resist this.

You can do it. Why? Because you love me,

and that love is stronger than any craving.

Get away from me, Elena.

Elena, he's gonna kill you.

No. No. He's not going to.

He's not going to.

You can do this, Damon. Fight it.

There you go. Turn around.

There you go.

Aah!

Damon, stop!

Damon, let go of her, let go of her!

Stefan!

Let go!

No! He's going...

to kill me!

Here, Damon. Look over here.

You smell that? Feed on me, not her.

That's good. That's good.

Feed on me.

Well, the only thing Matt remembers

is that they slept together.

Well...

So...

Care.

I never said sorry.

I was pissed, but...

No excuses, ok?

Look. We can get past this together.

Ok? I just want us to be good again, you know?

I said I was sorry.

I didn't say I was past it.

Of course. Obviously.

I mean, Rome wasn't built in a day.

How evolved do you think I am?

You slept with Klaus.

You slept with the guy that killed my mom.

What's a fair amount of time for me to get past that?

A week, a month?

Tell me. What sounds right to you?

Ok. You made your point.

Look. I'm not trying to be a dick,

but the idea of us being good,

it's not gonna happen.

Understood.

Ugh.

I know you can't help yourself,

but if you bring home a rabid animal,

you're gonna get bit.

Never should have told you to leave.

Uh!

I'm gonna kill you, Stefan.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,

but at some point I'm gonna rip open your throat,

and you're gonna die.

Oh, come on, Damon.

You think I'm afraid of a ripper?

Who do you think invented the word?

You know that feeling you get when you're around vampire blood,

that burning in your veins?

I feel that on a daily basis,

and there's a way to control it.

And let me guess--

it'd bring you no greater pleasure

than to teach me.

No. It's a good guess, but right now,

I'm gonna go get you a little bit more Vervain,

and them I'm gonna have a drink,

and I'm gonna let you think about what a royal pain in the ass

you've been lately.

You're my brother.

I'm not gonna give up on you.

I never will.

She has.

You talking about Elena?

Mm-hmm.

She practically got herself killed

to prove a point today.

You remember the vampire ripper Jesse?

When he attacked me, Elena had to kill him,

but if there was the slightest chance

that there was another way to stop him,

she would have taken it.

Yeah, so?

She knew it would be impossible for me to resist her blood,

and then she just kicked you a stake

and essentially told you to kill me.

So what are you saying? You saying that Elena

wanted me to kill you?

You got another excuse, hmm?

That's what I thought.

Well...

I could use a steak.

You're chipper.

That must mean Damon is dead.

Not quite.

In fact, he continues to be

the bane of my existence,

but...

Stefan and I had a moment. Heh.

Don't worry. I'll keep the details to myself,

but it definitely reaffirmed his feelings for Elena,

i.e. me. Heh.

So, uh, it's only a matter of time.

Sounds like you're going to get everything you want.

Of course I will.

Assuming that you took care of the Matt situation.

Your secret is safe.

Perfect. So I'm in a really good mood right now,

which means I don't really feel like worrying

whatever's making you mopey.

You won't have to worry about me for much longer.

What's that supposed to mean?

Tyler lockwood bit me.

Hey. When'd you get here?

Eh, about 1 1/2 of these ago.

Hmm.

You were right.

I brought this on myself.

I knew the Klaus thing was gonna come with consequences.

Guess now I just have to deal with it

and learn from my mistakes.

Glad I could help.

So did you find Matt?

Yes, and Tyler was right.

Nadia's been compelling him to forget things.

What do you mean? What kind of things?

Who knows? He tried to message me,

but Nadia stopped him.

"Help. K" was all I got.

Huh.

So you and Elena?

What's the verdict?

Um, well, the verdict is

she's acting strange.

She kissed me.

Excuse me?

Yeah. My car broke down, so we got a hotel room

so she could shower--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You guys got a hotel room

with a shower?

Yeah, but it wasn't like that.

I mean, I stopped it obviously.

I couldn't do it to Damon.

Yeah, but she could?

I just--I don't get it.

She knows that this would destroy him.

What is she doing?

That's what I mean. It's like she's

given up on Damon, and he thinks that

she was trying to get me to kill him tonight.

But she would never want him dead.

Unless...

Matt texted you, "help. K,"

before Nadia stopped him.

"K," as in Katherine,

and when Katherine was dying,

Nadia figured out a way to put Katherine's spirit

inside Nadia's body.

Yeah, but that didn't happen

because Katherine had a change of heart.

No. No. You don't think that--

it's impossible that she'd be--

we would have noticed.

It's Elena. We know her.

Oh, my God.

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man