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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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HOGAN: Someone once said, "We don't
stop playing because we grow old.
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"We grow old because
we stop playing."
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When you're a kid,
you can't imagine
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00:01:02,365 --> 00:01:04,562
having any other group
of friends.
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00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,162
You think you're gonna be
buddies forever.
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00:01:07,164 --> 00:01:10,695
Of course, for most people,
that just doesn't happen.
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But my friends and I, we
figured out a way around that.
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We just never stopped playing.
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And I like to think that
simple thing, playing a game
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00:01:21,462 --> 00:01:24,828
is what made me the man
I am today.
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00:01:29,062 --> 00:01:32,296
So, the man you are today
wants to be a janitor.
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00:01:32,762 --> 00:01:34,126
Yes.
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00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:36,525
Look, Dr. Malloy,
I'm looking at your resume.
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00:01:36,527 --> 00:01:39,326
It says you got a Ph.D.
in veterinary medicine
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00:01:39,328 --> 00:01:42,258
and that you actually have a
successful practice right now.
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00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:46,058
Look, there comes a time
in every man's life
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00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:47,990
where you just
gotta take stock.
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00:01:47,992 --> 00:01:52,126
Ask yourself, "What's really important?
What's on your bucket list?"
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00:01:53,859 --> 00:01:55,789
So, let me get this straight.
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00:01:55,791 --> 00:01:59,123
On your bucket list, you don't have,
like, skydiving or rock climbing
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00:01:59,125 --> 00:02:01,989
or tap dancing, maybe?
Dancing with wolves?
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00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:03,656
Which I believe
that has to be a thing.
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00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:05,290
They wouldn't have made a
movie if it wasn't, you know?
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00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,589
All I know is that, for me,
what I really want
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00:02:08,591 --> 00:02:14,822
is to clean the urine off
of that man's toilet seat.
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00:02:15,590 --> 00:02:16,889
Talking about the boss.
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00:02:18,856 --> 00:02:20,187
Mr. Callahan.
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00:02:20,189 --> 00:02:21,920
Yeah, he's a great man.
This is a great company.
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00:02:21,922 --> 00:02:24,489
Anything I can do to get closer
to that guy, sign me up.
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00:02:25,489 --> 00:02:26,819
Okay, look, man.
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00:02:26,821 --> 00:02:28,986
Honestly, any other situation,
I would just tell you
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00:02:28,988 --> 00:02:30,986
to get the fuck out my office,
okay?
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00:02:30,988 --> 00:02:34,322
But we do need the help,
so when can you start?
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00:02:40,021 --> 00:02:41,952
I've already begun.
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00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:43,551
What the fuck was that?
37
00:02:43,553 --> 00:02:45,251
- Uh...
- I haven't even opened that yet.
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00:02:45,253 --> 00:02:48,484
Uh... I'm sorry.
I was trying to be proactive.
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00:02:48,486 --> 00:02:50,320
Today. I can start today.
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00:02:52,287 --> 00:02:54,150
- Why don't I get you another Coke?
- You do that, we good.
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00:02:54,152 --> 00:02:56,785
- Okay.
- But don't throw away no more new stuff.
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00:02:57,653 --> 00:02:58,916
You will not be disappointed.
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00:02:58,918 --> 00:03:00,150
We don't have to
shake hands, man.
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00:03:00,152 --> 00:03:02,286
- Okay. I'll be right back.
- Sure.
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White people.
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00:03:10,251 --> 00:03:13,515
All right, Bob. You're the CEO
of a Fortune 800 company.
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00:03:13,517 --> 00:03:17,115
You have commanded the respect
of coworkers and vendors alike
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00:03:17,117 --> 00:03:20,547
and that is why you're being
interviewed by the big boys.
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00:03:20,549 --> 00:03:22,249
The Wall Street Journal.
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00:03:26,949 --> 00:03:28,779
- Miss Crosby.
- Oh, hi.
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00:03:28,781 --> 00:03:30,680
- Hi. Bob Callahan.
- Rebecca.
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00:03:30,682 --> 00:03:32,445
BOB: Thank you so much for taking the time.
REBECCA: Oh, thank you.
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00:03:32,447 --> 00:03:34,979
Should we just get
right into it?
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00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:38,012
- Yeah, let's jump right in.
- All right. Well, here's what I would love
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00:03:38,014 --> 00:03:39,545
for your readers to know
about our company.
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00:03:39,547 --> 00:03:43,444
We are young. We are dynamic.
We are fun.
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00:03:43,446 --> 00:03:46,645
Uh... So let's talk
about diabetes.
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00:03:46,647 --> 00:03:50,211
Mr. Callahan, how do you respond to
the idea that your industry uses
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00:03:50,213 --> 00:03:52,912
captive insurance to move
risk off balance sheets?
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00:03:53,746 --> 00:03:56,377
Well, great question.
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00:03:56,379 --> 00:03:58,010
Tough, but fair.
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00:03:58,012 --> 00:04:02,476
Um... I guess I would say that
what I love about Freedom Atlantic
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00:04:02,478 --> 00:04:05,076
is that we're not like
other insurance companies.
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00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:09,175
- (OBJECTS CLATTERING)
- Uh... We're big, but small.
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00:04:09,177 --> 00:04:11,308
Small.
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00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:12,909
We are, um...
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00:04:13,809 --> 00:04:15,275
You know, we're complex...
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00:04:15,277 --> 00:04:18,274
Uh... And yet...
And yet also simple.
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00:04:18,276 --> 00:04:21,873
(STAMMERING)
And we are global...
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00:04:21,875 --> 00:04:23,342
(CLATTERING CONTINUES)
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00:04:24,409 --> 00:04:26,840
- Yet local.
- That's exactly right.
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00:04:26,842 --> 00:04:30,439
Sorry, one second. Hey, could you
maybe come back at another time?
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00:04:30,441 --> 00:04:33,039
We're just right in the middle
of something. Sir?
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00:04:33,041 --> 00:04:35,374
I'm afraid not, Bob.
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00:04:36,074 --> 00:04:37,572
Jesus Christ, Hoagie!
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00:04:37,574 --> 00:04:39,939
What are you doing here?
How did you get past security?
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00:04:39,941 --> 00:04:42,605
I didn't. I work here.
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00:04:42,607 --> 00:04:46,471
You got a job at my company,
so you could try to tag me?
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00:04:46,473 --> 00:04:47,871
Come on, Bob, it's over.
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00:04:47,873 --> 00:04:50,437
You don't think I can escape
from my own conference room?
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00:04:50,439 --> 00:04:51,937
- Where are you gonna go?
- Well, guess what?
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00:04:51,939 --> 00:04:53,537
Watch now,
'cause this is happening.
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00:04:53,539 --> 00:04:55,937
(GRUNTS)
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00:04:55,939 --> 00:04:57,970
- God.
- BOB: God dang it!
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00:04:57,972 --> 00:05:00,536
- Oh... Ouch.
- You okay?
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00:05:00,538 --> 00:05:03,235
God! Okay. You're right.
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00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:04,603
It's over.
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00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,369
(BOB GRUNTS)
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00:05:06,371 --> 00:05:08,269
- Yeah, I know.
- Well, you're it.
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00:05:08,271 --> 00:05:10,435
All right. It's good to see you.
Good to see you, pal.
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00:05:10,437 --> 00:05:12,135
- Good to see you.
- Have you lost weight?
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00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:14,102
Yeah, a little bit.
Hey, listen, this is serious.
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00:05:14,104 --> 00:05:16,635
Um... Jerry's quitting.
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00:05:16,637 --> 00:05:18,268
What? Bullshit!
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00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,368
I swear to God. End of this
season, he's retiring.
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00:05:20,370 --> 00:05:24,634
Well, okay. But I am in the middle
of an interview. So can I...
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00:05:24,636 --> 00:05:27,033
- Wall Street Journal, that's so cool!
- Oh, thank you.
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00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:30,166
No, thank you, by the way, 'cause
this was the distraction I needed.
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00:05:30,168 --> 00:05:31,399
You get Bob talking
about himself,
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00:05:31,401 --> 00:05:33,599
it is just a feedback loop.
Non-stop.
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00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,299
- Can we talk about this outside, please?
- Yeah.
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00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:37,999
Can we talk outside?
I'll be right back. I promise.
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00:05:38,001 --> 00:05:40,331
There's three days left
in May. That gives us 63 hours
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00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:42,265
to round up the guys,
and get him.
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00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:44,265
Great. We can talk about this
over dinner.
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00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:45,632
What? No, no, no.
We have to go now!
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00:05:45,634 --> 00:05:48,364
Don't you have bathrooms
to clean or something?
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00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:50,031
- Technically, yes, I do.
- All right, you know what?
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00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:53,031
Take this ridiculous thing off
and get to it
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00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:54,697
We'll talk about this later.
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00:05:54,699 --> 00:05:57,296
- I'll resign, Bob.
- You don't have to. You're fired.
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00:05:57,298 --> 00:05:59,596
Good.
'Cause the benefits here suck!
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00:05:59,598 --> 00:06:00,830
No, they don't.
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00:06:00,832 --> 00:06:02,998
That's true.
Benefits are really good.
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00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,895
Oh, hey, sorry about that.
Where were we?
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00:06:07,897 --> 00:06:09,895
- Uh... Diabetes. Yes.
- Explain.
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00:06:09,897 --> 00:06:13,629
Well, I'm not a doctor,
but there are two types.
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00:06:13,631 --> 00:06:16,194
Type one is called "Type One."
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00:06:16,196 --> 00:06:18,694
And Type Two is more
of an adult onset.
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00:06:18,696 --> 00:06:20,196
No. (STAMMERS) Him.
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00:06:21,596 --> 00:06:23,927
- What are you doing?
- Hoagie, what do you want?
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00:06:23,929 --> 00:06:25,393
You tagged me. I'm it, okay?
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00:06:25,395 --> 00:06:27,027
You're sitting there
like I didn't just tell you
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00:06:27,029 --> 00:06:29,994
we gotta deal
with this right now.
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00:06:29,996 --> 00:06:31,959
Because we got a real shot
at Jerry this year.
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00:06:31,961 --> 00:06:33,158
You say that every year.
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00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,359
Yeah, but this year's
different.
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00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:35,759
You say that every year.
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00:06:35,761 --> 00:06:37,726
- But this year's really different.
- You said that last year.
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00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:38,993
I know, you're right.
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00:06:38,995 --> 00:06:40,659
But this year's
actually different.
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00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,659
Because
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00:06:42,661 --> 00:06:45,927
we know exactly where
he's going to be and when.
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00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:52,658
"The wedding celebration of Susan
and Jerry. Saturday, May 31st."
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00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:55,457
He's a sitting duck!
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00:06:55,459 --> 00:06:58,259
We gotta join forces.
We get Jerry now,
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00:06:59,392 --> 00:07:00,392
or we die.
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00:07:01,191 --> 00:07:02,222
What?
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00:07:02,224 --> 00:07:04,058
Eventually.
You know what I mean.
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00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:08,289
Come on, Bob.
141
00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:10,057
You gonna grow old,
or you gonna keep playing?
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00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:17,921
Keep playing.
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00:07:17,923 --> 00:07:20,021
That is the right answer.
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00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,087
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm sorry, I have to go.
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00:07:22,089 --> 00:07:24,354
No.
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00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:26,053
Hold on. Hold on.
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00:07:26,055 --> 00:07:27,654
I can't believe he's getting
married, and he didn't even tell us.
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00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,453
I know, I was mad
at first, too, and then hurt.
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00:07:29,455 --> 00:07:32,653
But, you know, he just realized
he'd be a sitting target.
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00:07:32,655 --> 00:07:34,186
That's insane, even for him.
151
00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:36,353
Will one of you please tell me
what's going on here?
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00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:39,285
- Are we off the record?
- No, definitely not.
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00:07:39,287 --> 00:07:41,385
Awesome. Okay. Our group of
friends has been playing
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00:07:41,387 --> 00:07:43,552
the same game of tag
for 30 years.
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00:07:43,554 --> 00:07:47,784
- What?
- For the entire month of May, every year, we play tag.
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00:07:47,786 --> 00:07:49,618
Just like when we were kids.
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00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:51,484
But we're not on a playground, and
we all live in different cities.
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00:07:51,486 --> 00:07:53,651
So, well, you don't ever know
when someone's gonna pop up.
159
00:07:53,653 --> 00:07:56,049
You could be shopping at the mall,
then your buddy jumps out of the trunk
160
00:07:56,051 --> 00:07:58,116
and, boom, tags you.
You're it.
161
00:07:58,118 --> 00:07:59,383
Here's the craziest part.
162
00:07:59,385 --> 00:08:02,016
Our buddy, Jerry,
never been tagged.
163
00:08:02,018 --> 00:08:03,283
What do you mean
he's never been tagged?
164
00:08:03,285 --> 00:08:05,415
You never put your hand
on his body?
165
00:08:05,417 --> 00:08:07,682
Not during the month of May.
For like 30 years.
166
00:08:07,684 --> 00:08:11,182
Why don't you just go over
to his house, and tag him?
167
00:08:11,184 --> 00:08:12,881
- It's not that easy.
- Why not?
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00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:16,015
Because... (SIGHS)
169
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:20,981
Well, for starters, because
he is so freaking fast.
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00:08:20,983 --> 00:08:23,247
You just can't catch him.
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00:08:23,249 --> 00:08:25,380
BOB: Yeah, and if you do
manage to catch him,
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00:08:25,382 --> 00:08:29,447
then he goes feral and turns into
some kind of crazy wild animal.
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00:08:29,449 --> 00:08:31,214
(GROWLS)
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00:08:33,348 --> 00:08:36,414
HOGAN: And if you manage
to trap the wild animal,
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00:08:37,981 --> 00:08:39,845
he still finds a way.
176
00:08:39,847 --> 00:08:41,878
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
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00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,211
REBECCA:
What just happened there?
178
00:08:43,213 --> 00:08:46,411
To this day, I have no idea.
No idea.
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00:08:46,413 --> 00:08:48,378
He's the best
that ever played. Yeah.
180
00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:49,645
Yeah.
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00:08:49,647 --> 00:08:52,077
And now he wants to retire
with a perfect record,
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00:08:52,079 --> 00:08:54,677
make us all look like fools.
183
00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,845
- Fools!
- He gets very excited.
184
00:08:59,345 --> 00:09:01,810
There he is.
185
00:09:01,812 --> 00:09:04,409
- Wait, you're not leaving.
- Look, Miss Crosby, I apologize.
186
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,309
I will have someone from my
office reach out to you.
187
00:09:06,311 --> 00:09:08,443
We will reschedule this
as soon as I'm back in town.
188
00:09:08,445 --> 00:09:10,175
Nope.
189
00:09:10,177 --> 00:09:12,308
- Nope?
- No. Change of plan.
190
00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:14,974
I'm coming with you.
This is a story.
191
00:09:14,976 --> 00:09:18,174
- What? No.
- Yes. This is the coolest game ever.
192
00:09:18,176 --> 00:09:19,841
I don't think that's gonna be
her angle.
193
00:09:19,843 --> 00:09:21,441
I don't know
what my angle is,
194
00:09:21,443 --> 00:09:24,106
but I do find it very interesting
that we live in a world
195
00:09:24,108 --> 00:09:25,940
where grown men
take an entire month
196
00:09:25,942 --> 00:09:28,106
out of every year
to play a child's game.
197
00:09:28,108 --> 00:09:31,506
It's very interesting.
You're right. Let's go.
198
00:09:31,508 --> 00:09:33,139
I don't think she means
interesting in a good way.
199
00:09:33,141 --> 00:09:35,274
- Get in, Bob.
- Fine! Fuck it, I'm going.
200
00:09:48,506 --> 00:09:51,273
(WATER BUBBLING)
201
00:09:53,839 --> 00:09:55,439
(COUGHING)
202
00:09:58,505 --> 00:10:00,937
All right,
it's all ready for you, Dad.
203
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:07,236
Hey! Thank you. Thank you.
204
00:10:07,238 --> 00:10:10,902
I'll be honest with you.
Ever since my wife died,
205
00:10:10,904 --> 00:10:13,237
you've really been the rock
holding me down.
206
00:10:18,337 --> 00:10:19,801
So, thank you.
207
00:10:19,803 --> 00:10:22,434
Well, I appreciate that...
(MUMBLES)
208
00:10:22,436 --> 00:10:24,336
But your wife is not dead.
209
00:10:25,703 --> 00:10:27,469
She's dead to me.
210
00:10:28,101 --> 00:10:29,766
What?
211
00:10:29,768 --> 00:10:31,932
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- Yeah.
212
00:10:31,934 --> 00:10:33,399
- That's right.
- That's right.
213
00:10:33,401 --> 00:10:36,032
Listen to me.
214
00:10:36,034 --> 00:10:39,499
"To live in the past is
to die in the present."
215
00:10:39,501 --> 00:10:40,832
Now, who said that?
216
00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:43,398
- You did.
- Bill Belichick said that!
217
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,930
God love him. Yes, sir.
218
00:10:44,932 --> 00:10:46,432
All right, I'm gonna get us
more weed.
219
00:10:46,434 --> 00:10:47,731
God bless you, son.
220
00:10:47,733 --> 00:10:48,997
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
221
00:10:48,999 --> 00:10:50,866
Damn, that was fast!
222
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,497
- Hey!
- Hey, Anna.
223
00:10:57,499 --> 00:10:59,698
- Hey, Chilli. How are you?
- Good, nice to see you.
224
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:00,996
What are you doing here?
225
00:11:00,998 --> 00:11:04,396
I was... Um...
Was walking by
226
00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:07,362
and thought I'd pop in
and say hi to you and Roger.
227
00:11:07,364 --> 00:11:09,796
Yeah, we're doing great.
Where's Hoagie?
228
00:11:09,798 --> 00:11:12,229
Oh, um...
He's um... You know...
229
00:11:12,231 --> 00:11:15,929
- Oh, shit!
- Hogan's in the library.
230
00:11:16,963 --> 00:11:18,996
Dad, what month is it?
231
00:11:20,129 --> 00:11:21,993
May.
232
00:11:21,995 --> 00:11:24,093
Mmm-mmm.
You're not getting by me.
233
00:11:24,095 --> 00:11:26,162
(GRUNTS AND SCREAMS)
234
00:11:27,095 --> 00:11:28,493
Anna, are you okay?
235
00:11:28,495 --> 00:11:30,726
He's loose! He's loose!
236
00:11:30,728 --> 00:11:33,261
Fuck it. Hogan, honey,
he's coming.
237
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,961
He's heading down
the east stairwell.
238
00:11:40,261 --> 00:11:42,260
(CHILLI SCREAMS)
239
00:11:43,695 --> 00:11:45,693
- Hey. Hogan!
- Hey, Chilli!
240
00:11:45,695 --> 00:11:47,923
I haven't seen you in a while, man.
How's everything?
241
00:11:47,925 --> 00:11:49,558
Pretty good.
Yeah, what about you?
242
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,658
- Everything's good, man. Yeah, work.
- You sure?
243
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:53,692
I mean, I'm going through that divorce,
but everything's fine. It's fine.
244
00:11:53,694 --> 00:11:55,756
Hey, also, side note. Stop
bringing your wife into this, man.
245
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:58,290
That's bullshit. She's way
too intense for the game.
246
00:11:58,292 --> 00:12:00,290
You're just jealous
'cause she's such a badass.
247
00:12:00,292 --> 00:12:02,723
She's my secret weapon. Kind of
worked 'cause you're trapped.
248
00:12:02,725 --> 00:12:04,256
- Am I trapped?
- Yeah.
249
00:12:04,258 --> 00:12:05,856
I am? (SCREAMS)
250
00:12:07,558 --> 00:12:09,755
Damn you, Chilli!
251
00:12:09,757 --> 00:12:11,490
(GRUNTS AND SCREAMS)
252
00:12:15,457 --> 00:12:17,555
HOGAN: (SCREAMS) No!
253
00:12:17,557 --> 00:12:19,723
Jesus, Chilli! That's trash!
254
00:12:33,355 --> 00:12:34,785
Fuck me!
255
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,288
Hey, Martin!
256
00:12:37,488 --> 00:12:39,020
Hi. Sorry.
257
00:12:41,487 --> 00:12:42,886
(GRUNTS)
258
00:12:44,421 --> 00:12:46,387
(GROANING)
259
00:12:54,386 --> 00:12:56,417
Excuse me, Mrs. Martin, coming through.
Coming through.
260
00:12:56,419 --> 00:12:58,152
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
261
00:12:59,285 --> 00:13:02,219
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry. So sorry.
262
00:13:03,151 --> 00:13:04,318
Wow. Okay.
263
00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:08,749
- Get him, Andy!
- (ANDY SCREAMS)
264
00:13:15,217 --> 00:13:17,150
(PANTING)
265
00:13:21,350 --> 00:13:22,882
Chilli, Chilli, Chilli...
266
00:13:24,815 --> 00:13:26,447
HOGAN: Chilli! No, no, no!
267
00:13:26,449 --> 00:13:28,347
No! No!
268
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,316
(CHILLI GRUNTS)
269
00:13:32,881 --> 00:13:34,881
(SIGHS)
270
00:13:37,281 --> 00:13:38,846
(COUGHS)
271
00:13:41,214 --> 00:13:42,911
Oh, fuck!
272
00:13:42,913 --> 00:13:45,111
- You okay, buddy?
- (CHILLI COUGHS)
273
00:13:45,113 --> 00:13:48,710
Oh, just great. Great.
274
00:13:48,712 --> 00:13:51,277
You ain't getting me today, man.
I'm not losing.
275
00:13:51,279 --> 00:13:54,246
- There's only one problem, Chilli.
- Oh, yeah? What's that?
276
00:13:55,179 --> 00:13:57,511
I'm not it.
277
00:13:57,513 --> 00:14:00,376
- The fuck you mean you're not it?
- I am, motherfucker!
278
00:14:00,378 --> 00:14:02,111
(GRUNT AND MOANS)
279
00:14:03,978 --> 00:14:06,741
- It! Come on, get up.
- Goddamn!
280
00:14:06,743 --> 00:14:08,676
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
281
00:14:08,678 --> 00:14:11,509
- You took a pretty big hit there. My God.
- Yeah, I thought I got away.
282
00:14:11,511 --> 00:14:13,642
- Set him up. Knock him down.
- Oh, my God!
283
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:15,609
- Good idea.
- All right, fair and square. I'm it, right?
284
00:14:15,611 --> 00:14:17,576
- Yes.
- And now you're it.
285
00:14:17,578 --> 00:14:19,007
- Nope.
- Yeah.
286
00:14:19,009 --> 00:14:21,241
Nope. I'm not taking it.
287
00:14:21,243 --> 00:14:22,608
No, I'm not. No!
288
00:14:22,610 --> 00:14:23,773
- No.
- We're not...
289
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:25,142
Guys, we're too old...
290
00:14:27,610 --> 00:14:29,207
No, don't start hitting.
291
00:14:29,209 --> 00:14:31,209
No, no, you're it.
I don't know who...
292
00:14:31,874 --> 00:14:33,173
HOGAN: You're it.
293
00:14:33,175 --> 00:14:34,772
- Guys, guys, guys!
- This is ridiculous.
294
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:38,072
Son of a bitch!
You sack punched me!
295
00:14:38,074 --> 00:14:39,872
Yeah, you went crazy,
and now you're it.
296
00:14:39,874 --> 00:14:41,105
- Sorry.
- Okay, I'm it.
297
00:14:41,107 --> 00:14:43,138
- ALL: Truce, truce, truce.
- Deal.
298
00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:45,140
This isn't about us anyway.
299
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,671
This is the year we get Jerry.
300
00:14:48,673 --> 00:14:50,637
- No, we're not gonna get Jerry.
- No, That's what you think.
301
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:53,772
- I said the same thing. We got a plan, all right?
- (CAR HONKS)
302
00:14:54,972 --> 00:14:56,370
Guys! Guys, let's go.
303
00:14:56,372 --> 00:14:58,937
She's so intense, man.
She takes it too far.
304
00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,735
You know what?
If it wasn't for me,
305
00:15:00,737 --> 00:15:02,670
you guys would be day drunk playing
mini-golf with 12-year-olds.
306
00:15:02,672 --> 00:15:05,036
Let's go. I know where Sable is.
Get in the car, ladies.
307
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,403
Yeah, we're going right to the
airport, so grab a bag, grab a...
308
00:15:07,405 --> 00:15:09,336
- A toothbrush or whatever.
- I'm good. Let's go.
309
00:15:09,338 --> 00:15:10,935
- Really?
- Wow!
310
00:15:10,937 --> 00:15:12,335
- That's gross.
- He's gung-ho. That's good.
311
00:15:12,337 --> 00:15:14,368
Hey, Rebecca,
we're gonna go get Sable now.
312
00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:15,836
Who is Sable?
313
00:15:18,504 --> 00:15:20,967
KEVIN: I know you think
she's not cheating on me.
314
00:15:20,969 --> 00:15:23,467
But what about
the possibility of
315
00:15:23,469 --> 00:15:26,000
her knowing that I'm following
her to Pilates class,
316
00:15:26,002 --> 00:15:27,966
and on the days when it's not
Pilates class
317
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:31,768
that's when she has all the
free time to ride random dick.
318
00:15:33,402 --> 00:15:35,366
Okay, riding dicks.
319
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:39,032
Kevin, you're really focused
on other dicks.
320
00:15:39,034 --> 00:15:40,698
But what about yours?
321
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,332
- What about you?
- If you don't focus on the other dicks,
322
00:15:42,334 --> 00:15:45,132
those dicks will plug up
the places you wanna go.
323
00:15:45,134 --> 00:15:49,830
What about mentally going into
each of those holes
324
00:15:49,832 --> 00:15:52,231
and unplugging
every one of those dicks.
325
00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:55,464
Pulling out, pulling out,
pulling out, pulling out.
326
00:15:55,466 --> 00:15:58,464
And then you have a clear mind.
Dickless.
327
00:15:58,466 --> 00:16:02,728
Well, I'm paranoid that my original
paranoia might turn on my paranoia.
328
00:16:02,730 --> 00:16:06,330
It sounds like there are some
fundamental trust issues.
329
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:07,429
You can't trust anybody.
330
00:16:07,431 --> 00:16:08,995
I don't think
anyone's out to get you.
331
00:16:08,997 --> 00:16:10,794
I don't think
anyone is following you.
332
00:16:10,796 --> 00:16:12,994
- (THUD)
- CHILLI: (IN DISTANCE) I can't take it anymore.
333
00:16:12,996 --> 00:16:14,994
I can't take it.
I can't listen to this.
334
00:16:14,996 --> 00:16:16,863
Are you shushing me?
335
00:16:18,163 --> 00:16:19,795
Stop!
336
00:16:20,695 --> 00:16:22,230
What the fuck?
337
00:16:23,363 --> 00:16:24,993
Oh, wow!
338
00:16:24,995 --> 00:16:26,726
- Doc!
- You're there.
339
00:16:26,728 --> 00:16:28,860
Hi, Hogan. Nice to meet you.
340
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:30,294
Bob Callahan. How do you do?
341
00:16:30,296 --> 00:16:31,859
- Sorry, this is a terrible idea.
- Who are you?
342
00:16:31,861 --> 00:16:34,059
- We're friends of Sable's.
- (LAUGHING)
343
00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:36,092
We thought it'd be really
funny to hide in there
344
00:16:36,094 --> 00:16:38,659
but then we overheard
way too much.
345
00:16:38,661 --> 00:16:40,891
Yeah, buddy, you're clearly
going through a lot of shit.
346
00:16:40,893 --> 00:16:42,326
All right, get here, man.
347
00:16:42,328 --> 00:16:45,091
And, also, you're it.
348
00:16:45,093 --> 00:16:47,492
I don't care. I miss you.
How are you, buddy?
349
00:16:47,494 --> 00:16:49,091
- I'm good.
- Yup.
350
00:16:49,093 --> 00:16:50,658
- Now you're it.
- I know, I know, I'm it.
351
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:53,090
Anyway, yeah, we came to
get you, so, come on.
352
00:16:53,092 --> 00:16:54,890
- Sable.
- Come on.
353
00:16:54,892 --> 00:16:57,324
I got 40 minutes
left in the session.
354
00:16:57,326 --> 00:17:00,056
- So what? This is important.
- Yeah.
355
00:17:00,058 --> 00:17:02,791
Pack your bags.
We're goin' home.
356
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,123
I don't have my bags here.
357
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:07,290
BOB: Yeah, we know.
HOGAN: Obviously.
358
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,955
- For fuck's sake.
- I know that...
359
00:17:08,957 --> 00:17:10,456
We'll just go by your house
and get your stuff.
360
00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:11,988
You should've just went
to my house in the first place
361
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,821
if we were gonna go
to my house anyway.
362
00:17:13,823 --> 00:17:15,255
- This seemed like a better idea.
- It was a whole bit! Let's go.
363
00:17:15,257 --> 00:17:16,720
Yeah, come on,
we'll figure it out.
364
00:17:16,722 --> 00:17:18,621
Okay, you'll still owe me
for this hour.
365
00:17:18,623 --> 00:17:20,256
- Thanks, Doctor.
- You guys aren't taking my mental health seriously.
366
00:17:44,753 --> 00:17:47,285
Look at those little assholes.
367
00:17:47,287 --> 00:17:49,784
- Calm down.
- It's awful to be back.
368
00:17:49,786 --> 00:17:51,353
It's gonna be fun.
369
00:18:12,218 --> 00:18:13,448
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
370
00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:15,317
Ah! It still smells the same.
371
00:18:17,616 --> 00:18:19,449
Uh... Here we go.
372
00:18:22,682 --> 00:18:24,914
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
373
00:18:24,916 --> 00:18:26,849
All right!
374
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:36,981
Oh!
375
00:18:38,081 --> 00:18:39,945
(GRUNTS)
376
00:18:39,947 --> 00:18:42,478
CHILLI:
Okay, yeah.
377
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:48,677
- Oh, yeah, it's still there.
- Guys, we're back in the war room.
378
00:18:48,679 --> 00:18:51,744
- You know what that means.
- No, I don't know what that means.
379
00:18:51,746 --> 00:18:54,410
It means we're going to war, Sable.
Now, just to be clear,
380
00:18:54,412 --> 00:18:58,110
we're not gonna tag Jerry at
the actual wedding ceremony
381
00:18:58,112 --> 00:19:00,577
because, frankly, that would
make us giant assholes.
382
00:19:00,579 --> 00:19:02,343
I'm sorry. I thought that was
the whole point of this.
383
00:19:02,345 --> 00:19:05,143
I took two weeks unpaid
vacation for that exact reason.
384
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,842
- Two weeks?
- Yeah.
385
00:19:06,844 --> 00:19:08,708
I'm going zip-lining
after this.
386
00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:12,109
Okay. There's gonna be plenty of
time to get him before the ceremony.
387
00:19:12,111 --> 00:19:14,075
There's the rehearsal dinner.
388
00:19:14,077 --> 00:19:16,874
There's a luncheon, photo shoot. Just
don't worry. We're gonna get him.
389
00:19:16,876 --> 00:19:20,175
Very official plan. Who wants to
smoke some weed with me? Sable!
390
00:19:20,177 --> 00:19:21,541
I'll take a toke.
391
00:19:21,543 --> 00:19:23,308
What?
392
00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:27,673
Yeah, I've been, you know,
experimenting with pot recently.
393
00:19:27,675 --> 00:19:29,473
Mostly medicinal, but hey.
394
00:19:29,475 --> 00:19:34,540
I've wanted to get high with
you my entire life, Hogan.
395
00:19:34,542 --> 00:19:36,139
- Honestly.
- Let's do it.
396
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:37,941
- This is the best gift of all time.
- Okay.
397
00:19:39,241 --> 00:19:41,873
This is exactly how I
imagined it, by the way.
398
00:19:44,907 --> 00:19:46,305
(WHISPERS) Hoagie's mom.
399
00:19:46,307 --> 00:19:50,107
I've got pizza rolls
for my pizza roll boys.
400
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,039
Pizza rolls.
401
00:19:52,672 --> 00:19:54,638
(SIGHS)
402
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,737
Is that marijuana I smell?
403
00:19:56,739 --> 00:19:58,139
(HOGAN SNORTS)
404
00:20:00,039 --> 00:20:01,702
No. What?
405
00:20:01,704 --> 00:20:03,203
It's my pot. I'm really sorry.
406
00:20:03,205 --> 00:20:04,936
I was smoking pot.
It's an old habit.
407
00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:08,337
Oh, so it's your weedie.
(CHUCKLES)
408
00:20:09,770 --> 00:20:11,835
I think I'm getting
a contact high.
409
00:20:11,837 --> 00:20:14,068
- Okay.
- Hits me deep.
410
00:20:14,070 --> 00:20:15,700
Below the belt, you know.
411
00:20:15,702 --> 00:20:16,935
I've got a belt upstairs.
412
00:20:16,937 --> 00:20:19,334
I use it
on naughty little boys.
413
00:20:19,336 --> 00:20:21,635
(BOTH LAUGHING)
414
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,767
What the fuck is going on?
415
00:20:23,769 --> 00:20:25,699
I hope you don't hurt
those boys.
416
00:20:25,701 --> 00:20:26,902
I don't mean to.
417
00:20:28,136 --> 00:20:29,733
It was really nice
speaking with you.
418
00:20:29,735 --> 00:20:32,000
- Thank you for the pizza rolls.
- Mom...
419
00:20:32,002 --> 00:20:34,900
Stop flirting
with Chilli.
420
00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:37,798
Linda, have you seen
Jerry lately?
421
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,732
I mean, do you still
play tennis with his mom?
422
00:20:39,734 --> 00:20:42,032
Because we need to find him before
the wedding and we've got no clues.
423
00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:43,999
I don't even talk to her.
I never see her at the club.
424
00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:47,764
But I'm thrilled for Jerry.
Susan is such a nice girl.
425
00:20:47,766 --> 00:20:50,198
- We just need the information.
- We need to find him. Yeah.
426
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,330
Have you taken the guys
over to the Sandpiper?
427
00:20:52,332 --> 00:20:57,497
Lou does nothing but talk about
you and the old days and Jerry.
428
00:20:57,499 --> 00:20:59,230
You know, I think he's lonely.
429
00:20:59,232 --> 00:21:01,695
Okay, that's not helpful.
But it...
430
00:21:01,697 --> 00:21:03,063
Oh, my God!
431
00:21:03,065 --> 00:21:04,230
Lou knows everything
going on in this town.
432
00:21:04,232 --> 00:21:06,363
Guys, we're going
to the Sandpiper.
433
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:09,562
I don't wanna go to the Sandpiper.
I'm having a great time here.
434
00:21:09,564 --> 00:21:11,895
I miss this basement.
We don't have any more beer.
435
00:21:11,897 --> 00:21:13,064
Let's go to Sandpiper.
436
00:21:25,662 --> 00:21:27,326
Lou!
437
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:30,326
Gentlemen! And ladies.
438
00:21:30,328 --> 00:21:33,225
How are you guys? Hey, we have
new summer stouts on draft.
439
00:21:33,227 --> 00:21:36,160
Lou, we don't give a shit about summer
stouts. We're just looking for Jerry.
440
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:39,093
Ooh! I hate to be the bearer
of bad tidings, Anna,
441
00:21:39,095 --> 00:21:41,225
but you are technically
still banned from here.
442
00:21:41,227 --> 00:21:44,626
- HOGAN: What? Still?
- What? It was dollar margarita night, Lou.
443
00:21:44,628 --> 00:21:45,892
Hey, I don't make the rules.
444
00:21:45,894 --> 00:21:47,058
Fuck you, Lou.
445
00:21:47,060 --> 00:21:48,391
You know something
about Jerry,
446
00:21:48,393 --> 00:21:51,458
I can see it in your eyes,
you rat fuck.
447
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:52,957
I don't know where Jerry is.
448
00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:54,557
Fuck you. Tell us.
449
00:21:54,559 --> 00:21:58,392
I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry.
450
00:21:59,459 --> 00:22:00,756
How are you? How's your mom?
451
00:22:00,758 --> 00:22:02,056
- Fantastic.
- Oh, that's good.
452
00:22:02,058 --> 00:22:03,990
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Tell her I said hi.
453
00:22:03,992 --> 00:22:05,688
- I will, for sure.
- And fuck you. I don't wanna be in this bar anyway.
454
00:22:05,690 --> 00:22:07,189
- Okay, okay.
- We're gonna wait outside.
455
00:22:07,191 --> 00:22:09,623
Look forward to catching up
with y'all.
456
00:22:09,625 --> 00:22:12,655
Listen, I'll tell you everything
you need to know about Jerry
457
00:22:12,657 --> 00:22:17,421
if you tag me just one time.
It is all I ask. I will spill.
458
00:22:17,423 --> 00:22:19,321
Why can't I tag ya?
459
00:22:19,323 --> 00:22:22,021
Because I'm not
officially in the game.
460
00:22:22,023 --> 00:22:23,454
What's the good word, Lou?
461
00:22:23,456 --> 00:22:25,753
We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old,
462
00:22:25,755 --> 00:22:27,753
we grow old because
we stop playing.
463
00:22:27,755 --> 00:22:29,454
You are not part of this game.
464
00:22:29,456 --> 00:22:30,653
Benjamin Franklin.
465
00:22:30,655 --> 00:22:32,486
- Lou.
- Yeah?
466
00:22:32,488 --> 00:22:33,987
Where's Jerry?
467
00:22:33,989 --> 00:22:35,154
I'm afraid I can't help
you out with that, boys.
468
00:22:35,156 --> 00:22:37,119
- Really?
- Yeah, you see,
469
00:22:37,121 --> 00:22:38,785
Jerry and I have struck
a little deal.
470
00:22:38,787 --> 00:22:40,218
I say nothing
about his whereabouts,
471
00:22:40,220 --> 00:22:42,185
and then I get to play
tag next year.
472
00:22:42,187 --> 00:22:44,018
- Jerry made that deal with you?
- Oh, yeah.
473
00:22:44,020 --> 00:22:46,718
And I am unbreakable, boys.
474
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,951
Cannot penetrate
this Iron Curtain.
475
00:22:48,953 --> 00:22:51,618
The vault is closed.
476
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:52,984
Well, Lou,
that is a real shame
477
00:22:52,986 --> 00:22:54,817
because I was gonna
introduce you to Rebecca,
478
00:22:54,819 --> 00:22:58,583
who is writing an article about
tag for The Wall Street Journal.
479
00:22:58,585 --> 00:22:59,817
- How cool is that?
- So cool.
480
00:22:59,819 --> 00:23:01,250
Isn't that exciting?
481
00:23:01,252 --> 00:23:03,350
Is there any way that Lou
could be in your article?
482
00:23:03,352 --> 00:23:04,583
Oh, yeah.
483
00:23:04,585 --> 00:23:06,315
Right? It's an interesting
angle, right?
484
00:23:06,317 --> 00:23:08,182
Probably has to be a story
for that to happen, right?
485
00:23:08,184 --> 00:23:09,681
What do you mean
there has to be a story?
486
00:23:09,683 --> 00:23:12,648
I mean, no Jerry, no story.
487
00:23:12,650 --> 00:23:14,214
You need Jerry for the story?
488
00:23:14,216 --> 00:23:15,982
Could you imagine that thing
printed out here, framed?
489
00:23:15,984 --> 00:23:17,515
- Hanging on the wall? With this guy?
- Yeah.
490
00:23:17,517 --> 00:23:19,348
Which will get published
everywhere. Everyone will see.
491
00:23:19,350 --> 00:23:20,947
- Nationally.
- Don't you wanna be in the article?
492
00:23:20,949 --> 00:23:23,414
Yeah, dude. I would love to be
in an article.
493
00:23:23,416 --> 00:23:25,347
Well, we're not gonna
break Fort Knox here.
494
00:23:25,349 --> 00:23:26,847
Fuck, man. All right.
495
00:23:26,849 --> 00:23:28,646
- I was really excited about that, too.
- Good to see you, buddy.
496
00:23:28,648 --> 00:23:30,313
Look, look, look.
497
00:23:30,315 --> 00:23:31,882
(SNIFFS)
498
00:23:32,848 --> 00:23:34,614
My mom talked to his mom
499
00:23:34,616 --> 00:23:37,678
and she said that the rehearsal is
at the Deer Creek Country Club.
500
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,179
- Deer Creek.
- There it is.
501
00:23:39,181 --> 00:23:41,145
Anyways, the name is
Louis Seibert. That's S-E-I...
502
00:23:41,147 --> 00:23:43,912
- I'll remember that. Thank you.
- She's got great memory.
503
00:23:43,914 --> 00:23:45,345
Big Lou, thank you, buddy.
504
00:23:45,347 --> 00:23:46,779
- CHILLI: Yeah, you bet.
- Thank you, thank you.
505
00:23:48,713 --> 00:23:50,210
ANNA:
Oh, hello, Miss Rollins?
506
00:23:50,212 --> 00:23:52,677
This is Margaret from
the Deer Creek Country Club.
507
00:23:52,679 --> 00:23:54,310
I'm just calling
to let you know,
508
00:23:54,312 --> 00:23:56,210
we won't be able
to refund your deposit
509
00:23:56,212 --> 00:23:58,410
since you canceled the rehearsal
on such short notice.
510
00:23:58,412 --> 00:24:00,477
SUSAN: What? Oh, my God.
JERRY: I think you have a mistake here.
511
00:24:00,479 --> 00:24:02,710
SUSAN: We didn't
cancel the reception.
512
00:24:02,712 --> 00:24:04,909
I'm afraid we have
unfortunately booked
513
00:24:04,911 --> 00:24:06,976
something else
in that time slot now.
514
00:24:06,978 --> 00:24:09,476
- A quinceanera.
- A quinceanera.
515
00:24:09,478 --> 00:24:11,542
SUSAN: A what?
JERRY: The fuck's a quinceanera?
516
00:24:11,544 --> 00:24:13,142
A celebration of womanhood.
517
00:24:13,144 --> 00:24:14,875
It's a celebration
of womanhood.
518
00:24:14,877 --> 00:24:16,674
JERRY: This is bullshit.
SUSAN: Oh, my God!
519
00:24:16,676 --> 00:24:18,076
We're coming
to the club right now.
520
00:24:24,742 --> 00:24:27,208
(TIRES SCREECH)
521
00:24:50,173 --> 00:24:51,939
Hello?
522
00:24:54,706 --> 00:24:56,172
Hello?
523
00:25:00,205 --> 00:25:01,339
Hello, boys.
524
00:25:03,138 --> 00:25:04,606
Who is it?
525
00:25:05,238 --> 00:25:06,970
I am.
526
00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,737
JERRY: Callahan approaches
from the left.
527
00:25:11,070 --> 00:25:12,871
Engage no contact protocol.
528
00:25:14,804 --> 00:25:16,904
No hand shall touch my body.
529
00:25:20,736 --> 00:25:22,535
(GRUNTS)
530
00:25:22,537 --> 00:25:25,467
Mental note. Bob slapped
Hoagie with his hand.
531
00:25:25,469 --> 00:25:27,336
Hoagie is now it.
532
00:25:30,802 --> 00:25:35,066
Chilli. He dives at me
in a pussy-like fashion.
533
00:25:35,068 --> 00:25:37,235
Poor planning. Poor execution.
534
00:25:38,335 --> 00:25:39,968
(GRUNTS)
535
00:25:40,667 --> 00:25:42,631
Piece of cake.
536
00:25:42,633 --> 00:25:44,398
I head for the door to escape.
537
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,265
Sable blocks it.
538
00:25:46,267 --> 00:25:47,766
It's showtime.
539
00:25:49,999 --> 00:25:53,166
Hoagie has tagged Sable.
He is now fair game.
540
00:25:55,566 --> 00:25:56,832
I speedbag him.
541
00:26:00,232 --> 00:26:01,232
(GRUNTS)
542
00:26:10,397 --> 00:26:11,462
(GROANS)
543
00:26:11,464 --> 00:26:12,828
(LAUGHS CUNNINGLY)
544
00:26:12,830 --> 00:26:14,763
Jerry! You okay?
545
00:26:15,963 --> 00:26:17,996
Oh, I've never been better.
546
00:26:18,730 --> 00:26:20,729
Welcome home, boys!
547
00:26:22,463 --> 00:26:23,760
(JERRY LAUGHS)
548
00:26:23,762 --> 00:26:25,060
Hey, who's this with ya?
549
00:26:25,062 --> 00:26:27,727
Oh, this is Rebecca.
She's a reporter.
550
00:26:27,729 --> 00:26:29,360
We're gonna be famous.
551
00:26:29,362 --> 00:26:31,826
Did they mention that I haven't
been tagged in 30 years
552
00:26:31,828 --> 00:26:33,393
'cause they suck at this game?
553
00:26:33,395 --> 00:26:35,527
- Extensively.
- Never been tagged. Just saying.
554
00:26:35,529 --> 00:26:37,992
BOB: I can't believe you would rather
not invite your closest friends
555
00:26:37,994 --> 00:26:39,758
to your wedding,
than risk getting tagged.
556
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,892
Hey, Bob, look, you're here, ain't ya?
Right? I knew you'd come.
557
00:26:42,894 --> 00:26:44,892
SUSAN: Cookie, the
valet needs the keys.
558
00:26:44,894 --> 00:26:46,358
Hi, baby. Come here, honey.
Come here.
559
00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:48,624
We didn't invite you.
560
00:26:48,626 --> 00:26:50,057
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Guys.
561
00:26:50,059 --> 00:26:52,691
This is Susan,
my soon-to-be-bride.
562
00:26:52,693 --> 00:26:54,791
- Hi. Nice to meet you, Susan.
- Hey.
563
00:26:54,793 --> 00:26:56,157
- Hi.
- She'll explain why.
564
00:26:56,159 --> 00:26:58,491
It's just...
I know it sounds really crazy.
565
00:26:58,493 --> 00:27:02,056
Everyone on my mother's side
have had May weddings
566
00:27:02,058 --> 00:27:04,956
and I didn't want
my wedding ruined over...
567
00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:08,556
I mean, I swear,
I don't wanna be that woman
568
00:27:08,558 --> 00:27:13,122
but I do feel like that woman is kind
of understandable in this situation.
569
00:27:13,124 --> 00:27:15,088
Don't make excuses, baby.
You don't have to. Come on.
570
00:27:15,090 --> 00:27:16,288
Look, I already broke
a fucking window.
571
00:27:16,290 --> 00:27:18,022
What are we
gonna do here, guys?
572
00:27:19,756 --> 00:27:21,654
- Amendment.
- Amendment.
573
00:27:21,656 --> 00:27:25,720
- Amendment. All right. Get in here.
- Truce. Truce, bitches.
574
00:27:25,722 --> 00:27:28,720
No tag at the rehearsal.
No tag at the luncheon.
575
00:27:28,722 --> 00:27:32,752
No tag at the dinner, and do not
even mention tag at the ceremony.
576
00:27:32,754 --> 00:27:35,520
HOGAN:
Ceremony.
577
00:27:35,522 --> 00:27:36,619
- We got it.
- Thank you.
578
00:27:36,621 --> 00:27:37,985
No way, I'm not signing this.
579
00:27:37,987 --> 00:27:39,520
You're officially
re-not invited, how's that?
580
00:27:39,522 --> 00:27:42,018
Okay, then fine. I'll crash
your fucking wedding,
581
00:27:42,020 --> 00:27:43,852
and I'll tag you as you try to
kiss your bride.
582
00:27:43,854 --> 00:27:45,219
Hey, hey, hey.
583
00:27:45,221 --> 00:27:47,284
Look, Susan.
You seem like a lovely person,
584
00:27:47,286 --> 00:27:49,618
and I'm sure
this will all be fine.
585
00:27:49,620 --> 00:27:52,819
We just need to formalize it, something
we've been doing a long time, and, uh...
586
00:27:53,420 --> 00:27:54,619
Sign it.
587
00:27:56,686 --> 00:27:58,517
What the...
588
00:27:58,519 --> 00:28:00,250
No mention of tag is...
589
00:28:00,252 --> 00:28:02,517
- Ridiculous.
- It's unreasonable.
590
00:28:02,519 --> 00:28:04,082
Thank you, guys.
591
00:28:04,084 --> 00:28:05,385
Here.
592
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,351
All right, boys.
593
00:28:11,051 --> 00:28:12,648
- All right.
- So good to see you, Bob.
594
00:28:12,650 --> 00:28:14,615
You know what? Don't touch
me, when we're on a truce.
595
00:28:14,617 --> 00:28:16,648
- It's very patronizing.
- Yeah, it's a little weird for me, too.
596
00:28:16,650 --> 00:28:18,714
Well, it was really nice
meeting everyone
597
00:28:18,716 --> 00:28:22,548
and I look forward to getting to
know you guys better this weekend.
598
00:28:22,550 --> 00:28:25,681
I don't know, I've just dreamt about
this day my whole life, so...
599
00:28:25,683 --> 00:28:28,180
- Congrats, Susan. We're happy for ya.
- It's gonna be great.
600
00:28:28,182 --> 00:28:30,447
- Thank you.
- It's really good to see you, boys.
601
00:28:30,449 --> 00:28:32,146
Cheers.
602
00:28:32,148 --> 00:28:33,547
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
603
00:28:33,549 --> 00:28:35,014
Six tequilas, please.
604
00:28:38,381 --> 00:28:40,013
- To Jerry.
- Wait.
605
00:28:42,813 --> 00:28:45,678
So, boys, how did it go?
606
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:46,910
- Not good.
- So bad.
607
00:28:46,912 --> 00:28:48,445
So, so bad. (CHUCKLES)
608
00:28:48,447 --> 00:28:50,944
Did you guys just sign away
your chance to tag him?
609
00:28:50,946 --> 00:28:55,944
Yeah, but we're still okay, because
non-wedding times are fair game.
610
00:28:55,946 --> 00:28:57,311
We just gotta find
the right window.
611
00:28:57,313 --> 00:28:59,377
- What happened?
- He kicked our ass.
612
00:28:59,379 --> 00:29:01,009
- Well, technically, he punched my ass.
- BOB: Punched your ass.
613
00:29:01,011 --> 00:29:02,510
- Repeatedly.
- Hard.
614
00:29:02,512 --> 00:29:04,609
Well, according to the bylaws,
that is highly illegal.
615
00:29:04,611 --> 00:29:06,543
Except he didn't hit
my asshole
616
00:29:06,545 --> 00:29:08,008
so it's legal.
617
00:29:08,010 --> 00:29:10,008
Okay, what are you
talking about?
618
00:29:10,010 --> 00:29:11,175
Here.
619
00:29:11,177 --> 00:29:12,775
Page...
620
00:29:12,777 --> 00:29:14,974
Yes! Right there.
621
00:29:14,976 --> 00:29:16,874
No asshole punching.
622
00:29:16,876 --> 00:29:22,007
Why would you play a game where
you're constantly punched in the ass?
623
00:29:22,009 --> 00:29:24,308
- Fair question, Rebecca.
- Beep. I'll take this.
624
00:29:24,310 --> 00:29:28,073
Tag is more than a game.
It's a way of life.
625
00:29:28,075 --> 00:29:29,307
No, buddy.
626
00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:31,739
That's exactly right.
You nailed it.
627
00:29:31,741 --> 00:29:33,606
Facial disgracial.
628
00:29:33,608 --> 00:29:35,739
Okay, Lou, thank you.
629
00:29:35,741 --> 00:29:37,272
We'll take it from here.
630
00:29:37,274 --> 00:29:38,972
But he's exactly right.
631
00:29:38,974 --> 00:29:40,737
It's so much more
than a game.
632
00:29:40,739 --> 00:29:43,605
Say I'm LeVar Burton.
Say I'm LeVar Burton.
633
00:29:43,607 --> 00:29:45,838
HOGAN: I was there when
Sable lost his virginity.
634
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,271
God damn it, Hoagie!
I was almost finished!
635
00:29:48,273 --> 00:29:49,871
Get over here!
636
00:29:49,873 --> 00:29:51,839
And Callahan was there when
Anna and I had our first child.
637
00:29:53,039 --> 00:29:54,937
Congratulations, buddy.
You're it.
638
00:29:54,939 --> 00:29:56,604
Doing great, Anna.
639
00:29:56,606 --> 00:29:59,070
And all the guys were there
for me when my father died.
640
00:29:59,072 --> 00:30:02,703
I think your dad would have
really wanted you to be...
641
00:30:02,705 --> 00:30:04,169
Dead.
642
00:30:04,171 --> 00:30:05,936
In this moment.
643
00:30:05,938 --> 00:30:07,936
(ALL CHUCKLING)
644
00:30:07,938 --> 00:30:11,503
This game, it's given us a reason to be
in each other's lives all these years.
645
00:30:11,505 --> 00:30:15,435
The last it from each season
will live in shame for one year.
646
00:30:15,437 --> 00:30:16,801
So what happens if you lose?
647
00:30:16,803 --> 00:30:18,268
- You lose.
- You're it.
648
00:30:18,270 --> 00:30:20,134
- What does the winner get?
- There are no winners.
649
00:30:20,136 --> 00:30:21,067
Just not losers.
650
00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:22,733
Listen,
I would love to sit here
651
00:30:22,735 --> 00:30:25,434
and deconstruct the spirit of
competition with everyone,
652
00:30:25,436 --> 00:30:26,934
but Jerry's still on the loose
653
00:30:26,936 --> 00:30:28,568
and we got to get him
where it hurts.
654
00:30:28,570 --> 00:30:30,732
- Not in the asshole.
- Not in the asshole. Obviously.
655
00:30:30,734 --> 00:30:32,333
Oh! Guys,
let's go to his house.
656
00:30:32,335 --> 00:30:34,366
He wouldn't be at his house.
It's too obvious.
657
00:30:34,368 --> 00:30:36,765
Yeah, it's too obvious, so he's
gonna be there. This is Jerry.
658
00:30:36,767 --> 00:30:40,765
Maybe it's so obvious that it's not
obvious that he will be there.
659
00:30:40,767 --> 00:30:42,499
- So he's at the house.
- He's not gonna be there.
660
00:30:42,501 --> 00:30:45,797
If he's there, then it'll be
obvious for him to be there
661
00:30:45,799 --> 00:30:47,931
so he wouldn't be there
because he would think
662
00:30:47,933 --> 00:30:50,499
that we would automatically
come there, obviously.
663
00:30:50,501 --> 00:30:53,164
- What?
- You know what? One way to find out.
664
00:30:53,166 --> 00:30:55,364
- Let's go.
- It'll be obvious to...
665
00:30:55,366 --> 00:30:56,865
HOGAN: Come on!
666
00:31:14,131 --> 00:31:15,763
It's locked.
667
00:31:22,363 --> 00:31:24,127
What do you see?
668
00:31:24,129 --> 00:31:25,594
It's nice.
669
00:31:25,596 --> 00:31:28,461
There's lot of attention to
detail but not too overdone.
670
00:31:28,463 --> 00:31:31,196
Well, can you just unlock it?
671
00:31:32,928 --> 00:31:34,360
REBECCA:
This is breaking and entering.
672
00:31:34,362 --> 00:31:36,861
BOB: No, it doesn't count
if you know the person.
673
00:31:37,828 --> 00:31:40,159
(WHISPERS) That is not true.
674
00:31:40,161 --> 00:31:43,194
"Did you guys really think
I would be home?"
675
00:31:45,527 --> 00:31:46,958
Feels like a trap.
676
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,591
All right, let's split up,
we'll cover more ground.
677
00:31:48,593 --> 00:31:51,091
- No, that's a terrible idea.
- SABLE: He'll never expect it.
678
00:31:51,093 --> 00:31:52,859
Now help me out
of the door, please.
679
00:31:56,159 --> 00:31:59,157
Jerry!
680
00:31:59,159 --> 00:32:01,190
(WHISPERS)
He's gotta be here.
681
00:32:01,192 --> 00:32:02,856
(CENSOR BEEPS)
682
00:32:02,858 --> 00:32:04,689
Have you ever even
been here before?
683
00:32:04,691 --> 00:32:06,790
(SABLE SHUSHES)
684
00:32:12,224 --> 00:32:13,788
Ohh!
685
00:32:13,790 --> 00:32:16,289
Deviled eggs.
686
00:32:16,291 --> 00:32:18,789
Delicious. These go fast.
687
00:32:25,788 --> 00:32:27,755
SABLE: What the fuck?
688
00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:29,688
Oh, man.
689
00:32:30,557 --> 00:32:32,220
Whoa.
690
00:32:32,222 --> 00:32:34,220
Jerry got chloroform?
691
00:32:34,222 --> 00:32:38,186
What the fuck?
He has stepped it up.
692
00:32:38,188 --> 00:32:42,386
Aerial maps of the city.
Bunch of blueprints.
693
00:32:42,388 --> 00:32:45,584
Five different hats? Wow.
694
00:32:45,586 --> 00:32:47,986
People change.
695
00:32:52,420 --> 00:32:53,985
(BEEP)
696
00:32:55,685 --> 00:32:57,186
Did you...
697
00:32:57,919 --> 00:32:59,319
I didn't do anything.
698
00:33:02,519 --> 00:33:05,018
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
699
00:33:08,285 --> 00:33:12,116
Who is that
scampering around my house?
700
00:33:12,118 --> 00:33:15,614
Hello, boys, did you
really think I'd go home?
701
00:33:15,616 --> 00:33:16,881
- You idiots.
- I knew it.
702
00:33:16,883 --> 00:33:19,215
- It's too obvious.
- Yep.
703
00:33:19,217 --> 00:33:20,780
I mean, that's just
a lucky guess.
704
00:33:20,782 --> 00:33:22,014
Okay, Jerry, where are you?
705
00:33:22,016 --> 00:33:23,449
You know,
seeing you guys tonight
706
00:33:23,451 --> 00:33:26,114
made me wanna take
a walk down memory lane.
707
00:33:26,116 --> 00:33:27,513
- Ta-da!
- Is that your...
708
00:33:27,515 --> 00:33:29,247
That's my bedroom.
You're at my parents' house.
709
00:33:29,249 --> 00:33:30,813
Why are you at
my parents' house?
710
00:33:30,815 --> 00:33:31,913
It's a little smaller
than I remember.
711
00:33:31,915 --> 00:33:33,513
You broke into my house!
712
00:33:33,515 --> 00:33:34,979
We broke into his house.
713
00:33:34,981 --> 00:33:36,213
Yeah, we broke
into your house.
714
00:33:36,215 --> 00:33:38,146
Hey, hey!
Look who I found, Hoag.
715
00:33:38,148 --> 00:33:40,611
Hoag! Hoagie,
I miss you so much!
716
00:33:40,613 --> 00:33:42,611
What are you doing
with Mr. Stubbles?
717
00:33:42,613 --> 00:33:44,812
This little guy got you through a
lot of troubles in life, didn't he?
718
00:33:44,814 --> 00:33:46,245
All right, Jerry.
719
00:33:46,247 --> 00:33:47,977
(JERRY LAUGHS)
720
00:33:47,979 --> 00:33:49,610
Let's see where this one goes.
721
00:33:49,612 --> 00:33:52,478
Mr. Stubbles has something to say.
What was that?
722
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,311
He says that his skin's very dry.
It needs to be moisturized.
723
00:33:55,313 --> 00:33:58,745
Jerry, put down Mr. Stubbles.
So help me God.
724
00:33:59,845 --> 00:34:01,676
What's happening here?
725
00:34:01,678 --> 00:34:03,608
I think he's about to masturbate
in Hoagie's childhood bedroom.
726
00:34:03,610 --> 00:34:06,110
Oh, no.
727
00:34:06,112 --> 00:34:07,575
It's the ultimate act
of dominance.
728
00:34:07,577 --> 00:34:10,342
I'm gonna stay here
until you come.
729
00:34:10,344 --> 00:34:11,877
Unless I come first.
730
00:34:13,445 --> 00:34:14,843
You sly dog.
731
00:34:16,976 --> 00:34:19,241
- HOGAN: Go! Go! Go!
- Did you get him?
732
00:34:19,243 --> 00:34:21,141
- HOGAN: Start the car!
- Started it. I started it.
733
00:34:21,143 --> 00:34:22,807
Everybody put their
seat belts on.
734
00:34:22,809 --> 00:34:24,208
Go! Go! Go!
735
00:34:24,210 --> 00:34:25,442
Everybody in.
736
00:34:25,444 --> 00:34:27,309
ANNA: Is everybody in?
737
00:34:31,242 --> 00:34:34,307
This is gonna be nice and smooth, Mr.
Stubbies.
738
00:34:34,309 --> 00:34:36,139
This isn't gonna hurt
whatsoever.
739
00:34:36,141 --> 00:34:38,605
Stay put. We're coming for you.
We're coming for you.
740
00:34:38,607 --> 00:34:42,006
(HIGH-PITCHED) Yeah, but hurry up!
Daddy, hurry up!
741
00:34:42,008 --> 00:34:43,938
Mr. Stubbles is not into you.
He can't be into you.
742
00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:46,305
He's not a sexual being, okay?
So put him down!
743
00:34:46,307 --> 00:34:48,639
(JERRY LAUGHS)
744
00:34:53,073 --> 00:34:54,340
Hey, team.
745
00:35:01,005 --> 00:35:04,503
Jerry, how are you
in my room right now?
746
00:35:04,505 --> 00:35:06,170
We're all in my room.
747
00:35:06,172 --> 00:35:09,701
No, of course I'm not there.
I'm here. In my basement.
748
00:35:09,703 --> 00:35:11,002
Where are you guys?
749
00:35:11,004 --> 00:35:13,202
HOGAN:
Are you fucking kidding me?
750
00:35:13,204 --> 00:35:16,235
He built a replica of your
bedroom in his basement?
751
00:35:16,237 --> 00:35:17,803
Good night, gentlemen.
752
00:35:25,536 --> 00:35:27,434
(SIGHS)
753
00:35:27,436 --> 00:35:29,035
Amateurs.
754
00:35:30,135 --> 00:35:31,800
Let's begin. Um...
755
00:35:31,802 --> 00:35:34,067
So, kind of a rough start.
756
00:35:34,069 --> 00:35:35,732
That was pretty standard,
actually.
757
00:35:35,734 --> 00:35:37,267
Yeah, Jerry's extreme.
758
00:35:37,269 --> 00:35:40,166
The masturbation was fake,
but the pleasure was real.
759
00:35:40,168 --> 00:35:43,232
I mean, I've said it before, but
we're not gonna tag him because,
760
00:35:43,234 --> 00:35:45,631
you know, he's better
at tag than us.
761
00:35:45,633 --> 00:35:47,465
I'm obviously going to be
the one that tags Jerry.
762
00:35:47,467 --> 00:35:51,563
I've been working with
this Japanese guy. Sensei.
763
00:35:51,565 --> 00:35:54,231
He knows zero karate.
764
00:35:54,233 --> 00:35:56,665
He doesn't know karate.
He's claiming to know karate?
765
00:35:58,565 --> 00:36:00,830
He doesn't know karate.
I don't think he knows karate.
766
00:36:00,832 --> 00:36:03,530
Well, then, what does he call it when I
roundhouse kicked him in 10th grade?
767
00:36:03,532 --> 00:36:06,330
Callahan and Chilli did get in a huge
fight sophomore year of high school
768
00:36:06,332 --> 00:36:11,196
and Callahan did... Just tag Chilli
with a beautiful roundhouse kick.
769
00:36:11,198 --> 00:36:14,165
But in Chilli's defense,
when Callahan kicked him...
770
00:36:15,231 --> 00:36:16,228
He shit in his pants!
771
00:36:16,230 --> 00:36:18,361
Yeah, okay,
that never happened.
772
00:36:18,363 --> 00:36:21,760
And it's nice to actually get an
opportunity to address it directly.
773
00:36:21,762 --> 00:36:23,062
By all means. I'm all ears.
774
00:36:23,064 --> 00:36:26,327
I mean, I was very sweaty.
It was warm out.
775
00:36:26,329 --> 00:36:30,360
Well, the sweaty ass defense? He's
been banging that drum for years.
776
00:36:30,362 --> 00:36:32,626
Hottest October on record,
if I recall. Look it up.
777
00:36:32,628 --> 00:36:34,393
Wall Street Journal,
you have fact checkers
778
00:36:34,395 --> 00:36:37,392
- for this exact scenario, right?
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
779
00:36:37,394 --> 00:36:39,792
While you're at it, can you have
the fact checkers look into
780
00:36:39,794 --> 00:36:41,426
if The Maury Povich Show
is staged?
781
00:36:41,428 --> 00:36:44,892
'Cause it feels staged
but he swears it's not staged.
782
00:36:44,894 --> 00:36:48,358
But they do the exact
same thing every time.
783
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:49,759
What?
784
00:36:54,293 --> 00:36:56,725
- (CANS CLATTER)
- (SIGHS)
785
00:37:02,925 --> 00:37:04,523
(SNORING)
786
00:37:04,525 --> 00:37:08,092
(WHISPERS) Sable, I know where
Jerry's gonna be. I need the tag.
787
00:37:10,091 --> 00:37:11,258
Okay.
788
00:37:12,390 --> 00:37:15,621
Yeah. Just picked up the tux.
789
00:37:15,623 --> 00:37:18,055
All right, see you soon, babe.
790
00:37:18,057 --> 00:37:20,488
Hey, Rob, how're you doing, bud?
Good to see you.
791
00:37:20,490 --> 00:37:22,088
You, too, man.
792
00:37:22,090 --> 00:37:23,954
Gloria, ma'am.
793
00:37:23,956 --> 00:37:25,853
- BOY: My balloon!
- Whoa!
794
00:37:25,855 --> 00:37:27,987
Hey.
This must be yours, buddy.
795
00:37:27,989 --> 00:37:29,553
- Thanks, mister.
- Look at that.
796
00:37:29,555 --> 00:37:31,254
You gonna eat
that whole thing?
797
00:37:31,256 --> 00:37:33,719
You know what? You should
consider some alternative snacks.
798
00:37:33,721 --> 00:37:35,587
Keeping fitness fun, buddy.
799
00:37:38,821 --> 00:37:40,452
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
OVER PA)
800
00:37:40,454 --> 00:37:41,921
(SQUEAKING)
801
00:37:43,221 --> 00:37:44,285
Oh!
802
00:37:44,287 --> 00:37:46,620
Excuse me, ma'am.
You dropped your...
803
00:37:48,853 --> 00:37:50,751
JERRY: Men's athletic
crossover-style boot
804
00:37:50,753 --> 00:37:52,118
size nine and a half.
805
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:55,117
Suggests a man
that is neither fashionable
806
00:37:55,119 --> 00:37:56,252
nor athletic.
807
00:37:57,053 --> 00:37:58,186
Hoagie.
808
00:38:07,785 --> 00:38:09,681
Little does Hoagie know,
809
00:38:09,683 --> 00:38:11,917
I've been teaching a women's
self-defense boot camp for six years.
810
00:38:12,850 --> 00:38:14,215
First defense 101.
811
00:38:14,217 --> 00:38:15,617
Class is in session.
812
00:38:16,950 --> 00:38:18,884
(GRUNTS)
813
00:38:26,083 --> 00:38:27,916
Holy shit!
814
00:38:31,815 --> 00:38:33,182
(HOGAN GRUNTS)
815
00:38:44,247 --> 00:38:45,613
(SCREAMS)
816
00:38:57,545 --> 00:38:59,312
(HOGAN YELLS)
817
00:39:07,146 --> 00:39:08,675
- You're done, Hoagie.
- Never!
818
00:39:08,677 --> 00:39:09,942
You're done.
819
00:39:09,944 --> 00:39:11,043
Never!
820
00:39:11,045 --> 00:39:12,742
(GROWLS)
821
00:39:12,744 --> 00:39:14,109
All right, I'm done.
822
00:39:14,111 --> 00:39:15,175
(JERRY LAUGHS)
823
00:39:15,177 --> 00:39:16,674
Dude, you look amazing,
by the way.
824
00:39:16,676 --> 00:39:18,075
You've really upped your game!
825
00:39:18,077 --> 00:39:19,775
How'd you know
I was gonna be here?
826
00:39:19,777 --> 00:39:22,075
A-ha! Surprised you, right?
827
00:39:22,077 --> 00:39:23,941
I saw the pick-up ticket
for your tailor
828
00:39:23,943 --> 00:39:25,909
when we broke into your house
the other night.
829
00:39:28,076 --> 00:39:30,740
- Impressive.
- I'm taking you down, Jerry.
830
00:39:30,742 --> 00:39:32,373
Well, we both know
that's never gonna happen.
831
00:39:32,375 --> 00:39:34,507
Excuse me, excuse me.
Coming through. Excuse me.
832
00:39:34,509 --> 00:39:37,139
Oh, boy. Cavalry's coming in.
833
00:39:37,141 --> 00:39:38,806
Hey, Jerry.
834
00:39:38,808 --> 00:39:40,305
This old lady bothering you?
835
00:39:40,307 --> 00:39:42,838
I'm good, Marvin. Thanks, man.
Everything's all right.
836
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:44,305
It's just a friend of mine.
837
00:39:44,307 --> 00:39:45,772
Hey, it's good to see you.
Looking good, brother.
838
00:39:45,774 --> 00:39:47,807
- My man.
- Yeah, staying in shape.
839
00:39:49,140 --> 00:39:51,171
What the fuck?
840
00:39:51,173 --> 00:39:53,371
All right, well, maybe I'll
call the police. All right?
841
00:39:53,373 --> 00:39:55,737
This is assault. You willing
to go to jail for this?
842
00:39:55,739 --> 00:39:57,670
You're goddamn right, I am.
843
00:39:57,672 --> 00:40:03,070
Okay, then, maybe I will cause a
big scene and get arrested also.
844
00:40:03,072 --> 00:40:06,136
Then, once we both
get to jail, I'll just...
845
00:40:06,138 --> 00:40:07,735
What? Bribe a guard?
846
00:40:07,737 --> 00:40:09,769
Be put in my cell? I figured you'd
say that. It's pretty obvious.
847
00:40:09,771 --> 00:40:12,102
Hoag, you have to realize
that's gonna take hours,
848
00:40:12,104 --> 00:40:14,468
during which time
I'll have fashioned a shiv
849
00:40:14,470 --> 00:40:17,002
from my toothbrush and used
it to murder my cellmate.
850
00:40:17,004 --> 00:40:18,634
You'd just shiv your cellmate?
851
00:40:18,636 --> 00:40:20,768
Don't worry, he's a bad person
who's done terrible things.
852
00:40:20,770 --> 00:40:22,402
So justice is served.
853
00:40:22,404 --> 00:40:24,367
- Okay.
- It gets me thrown in solitary confinement,
854
00:40:24,369 --> 00:40:28,800
which is what I want. Out of reach.
Completely untaggable.
855
00:40:28,802 --> 00:40:30,236
Damn, you have thought
this through.
856
00:40:31,668 --> 00:40:33,199
Pretty good, right?
857
00:40:33,201 --> 00:40:35,466
Look, understand two things,
Hoagie.
858
00:40:35,468 --> 00:40:37,932
First, you're not gonna
screw up this wedding. Okay?
859
00:40:37,934 --> 00:40:40,832
And secondly, I will never
let you tag me.
860
00:40:40,834 --> 00:40:43,298
You're gonna die before that ever happens.
You understand that, right?
861
00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:47,265
I don't fear death, Jerry. And
I'm not gonna give this up.
862
00:40:47,267 --> 00:40:48,664
Till I die.
863
00:40:48,666 --> 00:40:51,233
Okay. Good luck.
864
00:41:00,531 --> 00:41:02,598
See you at the rehearsal,
Jerry.
865
00:41:05,531 --> 00:41:08,062
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
866
00:41:08,064 --> 00:41:09,362
(HOGAN GRUNTS)
867
00:41:09,364 --> 00:41:11,262
These hushpuppies are insane.
868
00:41:11,264 --> 00:41:13,628
All right, listen.
T-minus 34 minutes
869
00:41:13,630 --> 00:41:16,795
until this rehearsal dinner is
over, and Jerry's fair game.
870
00:41:16,797 --> 00:41:18,228
There's four of us,
there's four exits.
871
00:41:18,230 --> 00:41:19,594
Let's fan out
and trap this rat.
872
00:41:19,596 --> 00:41:21,128
Okay?
Synchronize your watches.
873
00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:23,194
- I don't know how to do that.
- I don't wear a watch.
874
00:41:23,196 --> 00:41:24,662
Time is a construct.
875
00:41:25,729 --> 00:41:27,894
Okay, uh... 5:00.
876
00:41:27,896 --> 00:41:29,526
Could have said
that at the beginning.
877
00:41:29,528 --> 00:41:30,994
Well, we said it now.
878
00:41:30,996 --> 00:41:34,026
- 5:00, how hard is that?
- 5:00, yeah, it's easy.
879
00:41:34,028 --> 00:41:35,693
- Hi, guys. How are you?
- How are ya?
880
00:41:35,695 --> 00:41:37,558
Sorry about the other night.
881
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,192
Yeah, that wasn't cool.
882
00:41:39,194 --> 00:41:41,126
No. I mean, listen,
I know it's not just you guys.
883
00:41:41,128 --> 00:41:43,158
I mean, Jerry's worse
than all of you.
884
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:44,959
He's very competitive.
885
00:41:44,961 --> 00:41:46,892
When we were kids,
we had a contest to see
886
00:41:46,894 --> 00:41:49,524
who could hold their breath
for the longest underwater.
887
00:41:49,526 --> 00:41:50,958
He almost died.
888
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,557
He won, but at what cost?
Really?
889
00:41:53,559 --> 00:41:57,525
I hope he's this competitive
when it comes to being a father.
890
00:41:59,092 --> 00:42:00,757
Are you pregnant?
891
00:42:00,759 --> 00:42:02,957
- Really?
- Yeah, that's why the Shirley Temple.
892
00:42:02,959 --> 00:42:04,456
- Oh, my gosh!
- I know.
893
00:42:04,458 --> 00:42:05,957
- Here, cheers!
- Congratulations, that's great!
894
00:42:05,959 --> 00:42:07,423
- Cheers, thank you!
- Oh, my gosh!
895
00:42:07,425 --> 00:42:08,922
- That's such good news.
- Yeah.
896
00:42:08,924 --> 00:42:10,390
- We're not telling that many people.
- Okay.
897
00:42:10,392 --> 00:42:12,789
Listen, I know
it's gonna get a little wacky
898
00:42:12,791 --> 00:42:15,222
- over the next couple of days with you guys.
- Sure, the fuck is...
899
00:42:15,224 --> 00:42:16,290
Okay?
900
00:42:17,324 --> 00:42:19,188
Just don't go too far.
901
00:42:19,190 --> 00:42:22,321
And, go out there and play golf.
It's amazing. Do something fun.
902
00:42:22,323 --> 00:42:24,687
- Okay? Bye, guys.
- See ya.
903
00:42:24,689 --> 00:42:27,187
I like her. She has
a beautiful personality.
904
00:42:27,189 --> 00:42:29,086
Very effervescent.
Good energy.
905
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:30,854
Don't believe a word
she fucking says.
906
00:42:30,856 --> 00:42:32,519
She's a hired hand.
She's an actress.
907
00:42:32,521 --> 00:42:34,753
- What?
- I mean, look at this son of a bitch.
908
00:42:34,755 --> 00:42:36,985
- This is Colonel Sanders in the flesh.
- That's, like, her uncle.
909
00:42:36,987 --> 00:42:38,886
- It's the fucking Truman Show.
- Will you stop?
910
00:42:38,888 --> 00:42:41,019
The whole thing. Jerry set it up.
I guarantee it.
911
00:42:41,021 --> 00:42:43,152
Every single person here
has been hired.
912
00:42:43,154 --> 00:42:44,585
You have gotta calm down.
913
00:42:44,587 --> 00:42:48,151
Hi. Nice to meet you.
I'm his wife.
914
00:42:48,153 --> 00:42:51,053
(STAMMERS)
Jerry, is that Cheryl Deakins?
915
00:42:56,453 --> 00:42:58,484
Ah! Yeah. Good.
Hey!
916
00:42:58,486 --> 00:43:00,784
- You invited her?
- Yeah, of course.
917
00:43:00,786 --> 00:43:03,516
What? We're all old friends.
918
00:43:03,518 --> 00:43:05,184
- Makes sense.
- I'm not buying this.
919
00:43:09,151 --> 00:43:10,282
Is that, uh...
920
00:43:10,284 --> 00:43:11,648
BOB: Cheryl Deakins.
921
00:43:11,650 --> 00:43:14,416
- You know she was coming, Bob?
- I did not.
922
00:43:14,418 --> 00:43:16,515
- I didn't either.
- She looks good.
923
00:43:16,517 --> 00:43:18,150
- Great. She always does.
- Yeah.
924
00:43:18,751 --> 00:43:20,248
CHILLI: Wow!
925
00:43:20,250 --> 00:43:22,848
Who is Cheryl Deakins?
926
00:43:22,850 --> 00:43:25,414
Is she like the Yoko
or something?
927
00:43:25,416 --> 00:43:27,781
I don't get that reference
but she's someone
928
00:43:27,783 --> 00:43:30,180
whose presence causes
strain on our group.
929
00:43:30,182 --> 00:43:33,713
We've known her since
grade school.
930
00:43:33,715 --> 00:43:37,880
SABLE: She was the first girl that
Chilli and Callahan had a crush on.
931
00:43:37,882 --> 00:43:41,313
When we were kids,
Cheryl was into Chilli.
932
00:43:41,315 --> 00:43:43,679
Much to Callahan's chagrin.
933
00:43:43,681 --> 00:43:45,445
But young love
is unpredictable.
934
00:43:45,447 --> 00:43:48,778
Later that same year, she
decided she was into Callahan.
935
00:43:48,780 --> 00:43:51,711
Much to Chilli's chagrin.
936
00:43:51,713 --> 00:43:55,013
But she always had a place
in her heart for Chilli.
937
00:44:03,812 --> 00:44:05,343
And this went on for decades.
938
00:44:05,345 --> 00:44:08,111
And all of a sudden, she just
married an orthodontist.
939
00:44:09,511 --> 00:44:11,075
They get all the chicks.
940
00:44:11,077 --> 00:44:12,242
What?
941
00:44:12,244 --> 00:44:14,009
How long has it been
since you've seen her?
942
00:44:14,011 --> 00:44:15,876
About 10 years for me.
How 'bout you?
943
00:44:16,643 --> 00:44:18,808
Same, I guess.
944
00:44:18,810 --> 00:44:20,675
BOB: Been a while.
CHILLI: Sure has.
945
00:44:20,677 --> 00:44:22,574
You sneaky trickster.
946
00:44:22,576 --> 00:44:25,208
She looks amazing, and you know it.
Think about this.
947
00:44:25,210 --> 00:44:28,807
What if Cheryl ended up getting
back together with our boy?
948
00:44:28,809 --> 00:44:30,440
- Chilli?
- Callahan?
949
00:44:30,442 --> 00:44:31,774
Obviously.
950
00:44:31,776 --> 00:44:33,173
- Wait. What?
- Duh.
951
00:44:33,175 --> 00:44:35,039
- Did you say Chilli?
- You're Team Callahan?
952
00:44:35,041 --> 00:44:36,872
- Yeah!
- We've been married all this time and you think
953
00:44:36,874 --> 00:44:38,606
she should end up
with Callahan?
954
00:44:38,608 --> 00:44:40,538
Of course.
Wait, you think Chilli?
955
00:44:40,540 --> 00:44:42,605
Wait, do you know
those guys at all?
956
00:44:42,607 --> 00:44:44,538
Who are you right now?
957
00:44:44,540 --> 00:44:46,373
- What?
- You're freaking me out.
958
00:44:46,375 --> 00:44:49,506
I feel like I don't even know you.
You're like this foreign person.
959
00:44:50,806 --> 00:44:53,238
Do you want me to be
a foreign person?
960
00:44:53,240 --> 00:44:55,170
What?
961
00:44:55,172 --> 00:44:56,437
Here? Right now?
962
00:44:56,439 --> 00:45:00,304
Because I just got lost
on the way to bibliotheque
963
00:45:00,306 --> 00:45:02,737
and I don't know where all my
other French friends are.
964
00:45:02,739 --> 00:45:05,136
- Chantelle is here?
- Chantelle is here with...
965
00:45:05,138 --> 00:45:06,571
Oh, my God!
966
00:45:09,571 --> 00:45:12,269
Honey, it's almost 5:00.
967
00:45:12,271 --> 00:45:13,736
Keep your head in the game.
968
00:45:13,738 --> 00:45:15,235
You're so good.
969
00:45:15,237 --> 00:45:16,601
Come on, we'll go to the
bathroom for five minutes.
970
00:45:16,603 --> 00:45:17,868
All right.
971
00:45:17,870 --> 00:45:19,068
- It's crazy.
- Huh.
972
00:45:19,070 --> 00:45:20,768
Hey, you should go
talk with her.
973
00:45:20,770 --> 00:45:23,034
- No, you should go.
- Neither of you should.
974
00:45:23,036 --> 00:45:25,301
- Thanks.
- You're welcome. Neither one.
975
00:45:25,303 --> 00:45:26,567
Shut up, Sable.
976
00:45:26,569 --> 00:45:28,167
No, honestly,
it should be you, Bob.
977
00:45:28,169 --> 00:45:29,667
No, I think she really wants
to talk to you.
978
00:45:29,669 --> 00:45:32,300
'Cause I think
girls really like
979
00:45:32,302 --> 00:45:36,701
depressed guys that still have
a name for their bong.
980
00:45:40,234 --> 00:45:41,834
Get a good one.
981
00:45:43,900 --> 00:45:46,099
This is gonna go great.
982
00:45:46,101 --> 00:45:49,600
- Thank you.
- All right, good advice.
983
00:45:50,700 --> 00:45:53,198
Good luck.
984
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:54,899
Tell her I said hi.
985
00:45:59,099 --> 00:46:00,731
Cheryl Deakins.
986
00:46:00,733 --> 00:46:02,796
Chilli Cilliano.
987
00:46:02,798 --> 00:46:04,529
How'd you know it was me?
988
00:46:04,531 --> 00:46:06,762
I'd know that faint smell of
sativa and Old Spice anywhere.
989
00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:08,762
Yeah. I had to get
a little stoned.
990
00:46:08,764 --> 00:46:11,895
I can't be sober at these things.
They're awful.
991
00:46:11,897 --> 00:46:13,861
That was the wrong choice,
man.
992
00:46:13,863 --> 00:46:16,161
- What?
- Neither of you should have gone,
993
00:46:16,163 --> 00:46:20,694
but if one of you should have went
then it should have been you.
994
00:46:20,696 --> 00:46:22,529
How many wines have you had?
995
00:46:23,696 --> 00:46:25,996
How many legs
does an octopus have?
996
00:46:27,262 --> 00:46:28,629
Well, eight.
997
00:46:30,728 --> 00:46:34,660
I see that you've been
rejecting fashion trends
998
00:46:34,662 --> 00:46:37,093
and haircuts and
maybe hygiene. I respect that.
999
00:46:37,095 --> 00:46:42,058
Well, I think respect is the key to the
beginning of rebuilding a friendship.
1000
00:46:42,060 --> 00:46:44,492
- Is that a saying? Maybe?
- Yeah, sure. Who said that?
1001
00:46:44,494 --> 00:46:48,359
I don't know. I wanna hear
about this husband of yours.
1002
00:46:48,361 --> 00:46:53,057
What's the story? Is he still
charming, sensible, rich?
1003
00:46:53,059 --> 00:46:55,257
No. Dead.
1004
00:46:55,259 --> 00:46:57,391
Yeah, same with me.
1005
00:46:57,393 --> 00:46:59,889
Dead to me. Divorced.
1006
00:46:59,891 --> 00:47:04,489
No, I mean he's "dead" dead.
He actually died.
1007
00:47:04,491 --> 00:47:06,256
He's dead?
1008
00:47:06,258 --> 00:47:08,023
For real?
1009
00:47:08,025 --> 00:47:09,423
Oh...
1010
00:47:09,425 --> 00:47:14,222
Yeah, he died in a car crash.
We were separated already.
1011
00:47:14,224 --> 00:47:15,655
You already separated.
1012
00:47:15,657 --> 00:47:17,588
- Yeah.
- And now he's dead. He's gone.
1013
00:47:17,590 --> 00:47:18,754
- He's gone.
- Officially.
1014
00:47:18,756 --> 00:47:21,456
Act a little more
upset about it.
1015
00:47:21,458 --> 00:47:23,821
I know, but, anyway,
how are you? How's your life?
1016
00:47:23,823 --> 00:47:28,520
Great. I lost my business. Divorced.
Playing tag competitively.
1017
00:47:28,522 --> 00:47:30,020
Pretty much rock bottom.
1018
00:47:30,022 --> 00:47:32,153
- Are you trying to make me horny?
- Fuck yes, I am.
1019
00:47:32,155 --> 00:47:33,920
- 'Cause it's happening.
- It is?
1020
00:47:33,922 --> 00:47:35,486
Oh, yeah.
1021
00:47:35,488 --> 00:47:36,919
(SIGHS)
1022
00:47:36,921 --> 00:47:38,719
So have you tried
the hushpuppies, or what?
1023
00:47:38,721 --> 00:47:41,252
What do you think
they're talking about?
1024
00:47:41,254 --> 00:47:43,851
I don't know, and I don't want
you to worry about it.
1025
00:47:43,853 --> 00:47:45,386
We've got 15 minutes.
1026
00:47:45,388 --> 00:47:50,985
Oh, Chilli, I think about you
all the time, Chilli.
1027
00:47:50,987 --> 00:47:53,352
Oh, yeah? But what about Callahan?
He's so handsome.
1028
00:47:53,354 --> 00:47:56,484
He's very handsome,
but he's a selfish lover.
1029
00:47:56,486 --> 00:47:57,883
With a small dick.
1030
00:47:57,885 --> 00:48:00,819
- Really? Okay.
- Plus he sobs after he comes.
1031
00:48:01,852 --> 00:48:03,150
Wow.
1032
00:48:03,152 --> 00:48:05,250
It's okay, Callahan.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
1033
00:48:05,252 --> 00:48:07,116
Okay, you know what?
You guys are all 12-year-olds.
1034
00:48:07,118 --> 00:48:08,249
Oh, Chilli.
1035
00:48:08,251 --> 00:48:11,116
SABLE: Hey, Cheryl,
I want to reconnect.
1036
00:48:11,118 --> 00:48:14,182
Oh, yeah.
1037
00:48:14,184 --> 00:48:16,048
- What's happening now?
- Oh, Bob!
1038
00:48:16,050 --> 00:48:19,115
Yeah, I'm just... Oh, I'm
just feeling the vibes.
1039
00:48:19,117 --> 00:48:22,947
JERRY: I mean, who wants to
have sex with a guy named Bob?
1040
00:48:22,949 --> 00:48:25,814
"Oh, Bob." Just doesn't sound right.
"Oh, Bob."
1041
00:48:25,816 --> 00:48:27,679
- "Oh, Bob."
- "Oh, Bob."
1042
00:48:27,681 --> 00:48:30,147
- "Bob. Bob, Bob."
- "Oh, Robert."
1043
00:48:30,149 --> 00:48:31,147
"Bob."
1044
00:48:31,149 --> 00:48:32,846
I wasn't gonna text you,
you know?
1045
00:48:32,848 --> 00:48:34,046
I didn't wanna mess with you
when you were married.
1046
00:48:34,048 --> 00:48:35,946
No, I think that's nice.
Respectful.
1047
00:48:35,948 --> 00:48:36,946
If I knew he was dead, I would
have texted right away.
1048
00:48:36,948 --> 00:48:38,280
All right. Okay.
1049
00:48:38,282 --> 00:48:40,447
- No! Please don't leave on that!
- No, it's fine.
1050
00:48:40,449 --> 00:48:42,645
We're good, we're good. I'm just
gonna use the ladies' room.
1051
00:48:42,647 --> 00:48:45,245
- I'll see you later. It's nice to see you.
- Okay. It's great to see you.
1052
00:48:45,247 --> 00:48:46,513
You, too.
1053
00:48:50,247 --> 00:48:51,713
Widowed.
1054
00:49:08,677 --> 00:49:10,709
Cheryl Deakins.
1055
00:49:10,711 --> 00:49:12,542
What are you doing here?
1056
00:49:12,544 --> 00:49:13,842
And where are the urinals?
1057
00:49:13,844 --> 00:49:16,708
Probably in the men's room.
1058
00:49:16,710 --> 00:49:18,574
- You haven't changed a bit.
- Thank you.
1059
00:49:18,576 --> 00:49:21,541
- No, that was not a compliment.
- Well...
1060
00:49:21,543 --> 00:49:23,408
- I have matured.
- Have you? Really?
1061
00:49:23,410 --> 00:49:26,141
Because this old move where you
follow me into the bathroom
1062
00:49:26,143 --> 00:49:27,873
it's exactly what you did
at junior prom.
1063
00:49:27,875 --> 00:49:30,606
It was a good move then,
and it's a good move now.
1064
00:49:30,608 --> 00:49:32,307
- Marginally nicer bathroom.
- Hmm.
1065
00:49:32,309 --> 00:49:33,772
Do you wanna get a drink?
1066
00:49:33,774 --> 00:49:35,572
Actually, I think I'm gonna
head home.
1067
00:49:35,574 --> 00:49:37,139
Can I give you a ride?
1068
00:49:37,141 --> 00:49:38,772
- Sure.
- Great.
1069
00:49:38,774 --> 00:49:41,941
- Right after we have that drink.
- Oh, I see what you did there.
1070
00:49:45,807 --> 00:49:47,005
Okay, guys.
It's almost go time.
1071
00:49:47,007 --> 00:49:49,138
Is everybody in position?
Over.
1072
00:49:49,140 --> 00:49:51,504
Sable is in position.
1073
00:49:51,506 --> 00:49:52,971
(COUGHS)
1074
00:49:52,973 --> 00:49:54,904
- HOGAN: Chilli!
- Yeah. Let's get him.
1075
00:49:54,906 --> 00:49:58,139
HOGAN: Callahan. Callahan,
do you read me? Over.
1076
00:50:00,340 --> 00:50:02,505
Callahan.
Where are you, buddy?
1077
00:50:05,305 --> 00:50:06,836
Callahan!
1078
00:50:06,838 --> 00:50:09,172
We got an unguarded exit,
okay?
1079
00:50:10,072 --> 00:50:11,702
Hi.
1080
00:50:11,704 --> 00:50:13,171
(YELLS) Callahan!
1081
00:50:20,204 --> 00:50:21,534
Go! Go! Go! Go!
1082
00:50:21,536 --> 00:50:23,134
(SCREAMS) Go!
1083
00:50:23,136 --> 00:50:24,836
Not today, motherfucker!
1084
00:50:26,103 --> 00:50:28,170
Hey, thanks for coming.
Appreciate it.
1085
00:50:33,436 --> 00:50:34,666
Go! Go!
1086
00:50:34,668 --> 00:50:36,667
Come and get it, bitches!
1087
00:50:38,701 --> 00:50:41,634
HOGAN: Get in! Get in!
We're close. We're close.
1088
00:50:55,865 --> 00:50:58,565
- Hold on! Hold on!
- SABLE: Go, go!
1089
00:50:59,465 --> 00:51:01,562
SABLE: Go faster! Go faster!
1090
00:51:01,564 --> 00:51:02,966
Giddy up!
1091
00:51:04,266 --> 00:51:05,965
HOGAN: We're coming for you!
1092
00:51:13,231 --> 00:51:15,530
(ALL YELLING)
1093
00:51:18,030 --> 00:51:19,095
Incoming!
1094
00:51:19,097 --> 00:51:20,362
No, no, no!
1095
00:51:20,364 --> 00:51:21,830
Go! Go!
1096
00:51:24,595 --> 00:51:26,161
God, I wish I had my gun here.
1097
00:51:26,163 --> 00:51:28,194
There are so many good birds
to shoot.
1098
00:51:28,196 --> 00:51:29,894
(CLEARS THROAT)
1099
00:51:29,896 --> 00:51:31,994
- So, this is a vacation for you?
- Yeah.
1100
00:51:31,996 --> 00:51:35,193
I mean some couples go on cruises.
Some couples go camping.
1101
00:51:35,195 --> 00:51:39,226
Some couples go to strip clubs
and have gangbangs,
1102
00:51:39,228 --> 00:51:41,525
and this is just what we do.
This is what we love.
1103
00:51:41,527 --> 00:51:43,558
This is our gangbang.
1104
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:45,959
You know, it seems to me like
you'd be really good at the game.
1105
00:51:45,961 --> 00:51:47,825
- Why don't you play?
- Well,
1106
00:51:47,827 --> 00:51:50,326
They came up with the rules when
they were nine. No girls allowed.
1107
00:51:50,328 --> 00:51:54,824
And to be honest, I can get
a little overly aggressive
1108
00:51:54,826 --> 00:51:56,657
and competitive sometimes.
1109
00:51:56,659 --> 00:51:59,191
HOGAN: Come on, Jerry.
You're dead meat!
1110
00:51:59,193 --> 00:52:00,556
Yeah!
1111
00:52:00,558 --> 00:52:02,325
Keep your eyes downfield!
1112
00:52:02,327 --> 00:52:04,057
Cut across the fourth fairway!
1113
00:52:04,059 --> 00:52:05,622
Don't fuck this up!
1114
00:52:05,624 --> 00:52:08,789
Yeah. Well.
1115
00:52:08,791 --> 00:52:11,490
Oh, I have to show you
pictures of our kids.
1116
00:52:13,657 --> 00:52:15,224
Go, go, go!
1117
00:52:16,589 --> 00:52:18,089
SABLE: Hoagie, get him.
1118
00:52:18,091 --> 00:52:19,623
Hold on. Hold on.
1119
00:52:20,656 --> 00:52:22,221
Hoagie, stop!
1120
00:52:22,223 --> 00:52:23,453
No. Hoagie.
1121
00:52:23,455 --> 00:52:26,121
- What are you doing?
- I can't see!
1122
00:52:26,123 --> 00:52:27,622
(GRUNTS)
1123
00:52:34,454 --> 00:52:35,788
(GASPS)
1124
00:52:37,621 --> 00:52:39,286
(SIGHS)
1125
00:52:39,288 --> 00:52:41,353
- Everybody good?
- I'm fine.
1126
00:52:41,355 --> 00:52:42,687
I'm fine.
1127
00:52:44,322 --> 00:52:45,753
Well, that happened.
1128
00:52:46,421 --> 00:52:48,718
Onward.
1129
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:51,452
- Let's get him.
- That was invigorating.
1130
00:52:55,819 --> 00:52:58,452
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1131
00:53:03,952 --> 00:53:08,116
HOGAN: That is psychological
warfare right there.
1132
00:53:08,118 --> 00:53:10,349
CHILLI: That's impressive.
HOGAN: Yeah, that's a good move.
1133
00:53:10,351 --> 00:53:12,018
Good one, Jer!
1134
00:53:14,151 --> 00:53:15,915
(WHISTLES)
1135
00:53:15,917 --> 00:53:18,049
There he is!
1136
00:53:18,051 --> 00:53:19,117
Hello, boys.
1137
00:53:22,016 --> 00:53:23,148
What?
1138
00:53:23,150 --> 00:53:25,580
(JERRY WHISTLES)
1139
00:53:25,582 --> 00:53:26,814
CHILLI:
Okay, how's he doing this?
1140
00:53:26,816 --> 00:53:28,048
All right, Jerry, stop!
1141
00:53:28,050 --> 00:53:29,479
SABLE: He's multiplying!
It's happening!
1142
00:53:29,481 --> 00:53:31,114
- What the fuck?
- There's one!
1143
00:53:31,116 --> 00:53:33,479
(ALL SCREAM)
1144
00:53:33,481 --> 00:53:35,478
- Hey!
- What?
1145
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:38,478
There's so many.
There's so many!
1146
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:40,413
There he is!
I'm coming for you, Jerry!
1147
00:53:40,415 --> 00:53:41,847
Chilli, you're not even it!
1148
00:53:42,381 --> 00:53:44,446
(PANTING)
1149
00:53:50,013 --> 00:53:51,613
I'm on your ass!
1150
00:53:53,247 --> 00:53:54,680
(YELLS) Come on!
1151
00:54:03,477 --> 00:54:05,179
Oh, shit!
1152
00:54:05,946 --> 00:54:07,711
Shit!
1153
00:54:14,945 --> 00:54:18,108
This is terrible.
This is pure bullshit.
1154
00:54:18,110 --> 00:54:19,441
We should not be here.
1155
00:54:19,443 --> 00:54:21,942
This is gettin'
way too extreme.
1156
00:54:21,944 --> 00:54:23,640
I need you to buck up, Sable.
1157
00:54:23,642 --> 00:54:25,208
- Yeah.
- Come on, let's stay focused.
1158
00:54:25,210 --> 00:54:27,976
Yeah, we bucked up
out of the goddamn golf cart.
1159
00:54:32,342 --> 00:54:34,472
You smell that?
Do you smell it?
1160
00:54:34,474 --> 00:54:36,073
It's Jerry. I smell him.
1161
00:54:36,075 --> 00:54:37,706
It's leaves and grass.
1162
00:54:37,708 --> 00:54:39,406
And centipedes.
1163
00:54:39,408 --> 00:54:41,272
Just typical woods stuff.
1164
00:54:41,274 --> 00:54:42,807
He's close.
1165
00:54:43,573 --> 00:54:44,738
I can feel it.
1166
00:54:44,740 --> 00:54:46,005
I can feel something.
1167
00:54:46,007 --> 00:54:47,305
(CRACKLING)
1168
00:54:47,307 --> 00:54:49,041
Oh, shit!
1169
00:54:50,941 --> 00:54:53,004
- Jesus. Oh, my God.
- Shit.
1170
00:54:53,006 --> 00:54:55,237
- Oh, my God.
- Wow, that's crazy.
1171
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:56,737
(HOGAN LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
1172
00:54:56,739 --> 00:54:59,538
Our friend is a psychopath,
and this is scary.
1173
00:55:00,206 --> 00:55:02,404
He got me. I'm down.
1174
00:55:02,406 --> 00:55:05,336
This is on you now. Come here.
1175
00:55:05,338 --> 00:55:07,269
Let me tag you.
1176
00:55:07,271 --> 00:55:08,537
Come on!
1177
00:55:10,172 --> 00:55:11,835
All right.
1178
00:55:11,837 --> 00:55:13,502
(WHISPERS) I can see him.
1179
00:55:13,504 --> 00:55:16,635
He's at three o'clock.
50 yards out.
1180
00:55:16,637 --> 00:55:18,803
- Three o'clock. Got it.
- Three o'clock.
1181
00:55:20,636 --> 00:55:22,170
(WHISPERS) Sable!
1182
00:55:24,435 --> 00:55:26,267
That three o'clock.
1183
00:55:26,269 --> 00:55:28,334
- You didn't say which time zone, man!
- That's not time zones.
1184
00:55:28,336 --> 00:55:30,833
Why didn't you just point the first time?
Next time, just point.
1185
00:55:30,835 --> 00:55:33,034
It's that way. Go!
Go, go, go!
1186
00:55:33,036 --> 00:55:35,069
Go, Sable, go!
1187
00:55:44,068 --> 00:55:46,533
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
1188
00:55:55,532 --> 00:55:56,966
(GASPS)
1189
00:55:58,266 --> 00:55:59,933
I see you.
1190
00:56:02,232 --> 00:56:03,966
Yeah, motherfucker.
1191
00:56:09,164 --> 00:56:10,528
You're it!
1192
00:56:10,530 --> 00:56:12,764
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
1193
00:56:22,397 --> 00:56:23,763
Oh, I don't like that.
1194
00:56:28,528 --> 00:56:29,930
Shh.
1195
00:56:31,162 --> 00:56:32,162
Sleep.
1196
00:56:37,828 --> 00:56:38,828
Sable?
1197
00:56:40,029 --> 00:56:41,029
Sable?
1198
00:56:55,393 --> 00:56:56,658
What happened?
1199
00:56:56,660 --> 00:56:57,791
We got chloroformed.
1200
00:56:57,793 --> 00:56:59,657
Chloroformed? What?
1201
00:56:59,659 --> 00:57:03,490
Bob took our car, and now we're in a Lyft.
We're going to the Sandpiper.
1202
00:57:03,492 --> 00:57:04,857
I don't wanna be it anymore.
1203
00:57:04,859 --> 00:57:06,489
I don't wanna be it.
Hoagie, it's on you, bud.
1204
00:57:06,491 --> 00:57:07,957
SABLE: Now, what the fuck?
1205
00:57:07,959 --> 00:57:10,088
Wait. I'm confused.
What just happened in there?
1206
00:57:10,090 --> 00:57:12,656
Well, Jerry woke up early,
got some grounds crew
1207
00:57:12,658 --> 00:57:15,756
to go out in the woods, build some
snares and a swinging log trap
1208
00:57:15,758 --> 00:57:18,988
and wear matching outfits
to act as decoys.
1209
00:57:18,990 --> 00:57:20,391
Maniac.
1210
00:57:22,690 --> 00:57:24,055
Are you okay?
1211
00:57:24,057 --> 00:57:27,254
Yes, yes. I am. I'm good.
1212
00:57:27,256 --> 00:57:30,153
I am amazed that you're able to
stay so optimistic after all that.
1213
00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:33,054
Well, some have said I am the
heart and soul of the game.
1214
00:57:33,056 --> 00:57:34,220
No, you've said that.
1215
00:57:34,222 --> 00:57:36,419
You're the only person
I've heard say that.
1216
00:57:36,421 --> 00:57:42,986
Well, technically "just me" fits the legal
definition of "some" so suck a dick.
1217
00:57:42,988 --> 00:57:46,085
Well, it seems like the game has
really kept you guys connected.
1218
00:57:46,087 --> 00:57:48,084
- Exactly.
- Well, except Jerry.
1219
00:57:48,086 --> 00:57:49,251
What? Don't say that.
1220
00:57:49,253 --> 00:57:51,952
How often do you see Jerry
outside of tag?
1221
00:57:51,954 --> 00:57:54,084
Well, not super frequently,
but...
1222
00:57:54,086 --> 00:57:57,152
Would you consider that
a close friendship?
1223
00:57:59,052 --> 00:58:01,485
Well, that's kind of
a dicky question.
1224
00:58:11,019 --> 00:58:12,051
HOGAN: Thank you.
1225
00:58:13,318 --> 00:58:17,617
All I'm saying is Callahan
better fucking be here.
1226
00:58:21,917 --> 00:58:23,282
(HOGAN CHUCKLES)
1227
00:58:23,284 --> 00:58:25,814
- What's up? What?
- Look who decided to show up.
1228
00:58:25,816 --> 00:58:28,480
What? I had a business call with Beijing.
Couldn't be helped. I'm sorry.
1229
00:58:28,482 --> 00:58:31,147
Business call with Beijing? It would
have been 8:00 a.m. Saturday out there.
1230
00:58:31,149 --> 00:58:33,281
You doing business calls
at 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning?
1231
00:58:33,283 --> 00:58:35,113
Why do you know so much
about Beijing time zones?
1232
00:58:35,115 --> 00:58:38,980
2008 Olympics.
Michael Phelps, baby.
1233
00:58:38,982 --> 00:58:40,913
Fair enough.
Okay, anyway, I have an idea.
1234
00:58:40,915 --> 00:58:42,412
- Anybody want to hear it?
- Yes.
1235
00:58:42,414 --> 00:58:44,779
- What is it?
- Jerry's gym.
1236
00:58:44,781 --> 00:58:46,345
Someone there's gotta know
where he is.
1237
00:58:46,347 --> 00:58:48,778
- I like this. That's a good idea.
- Great!
1238
00:58:48,780 --> 00:58:50,778
- Up top! Buckle up, gang!
- Yes! Giddy up!
1239
00:58:50,780 --> 00:58:52,211
- You're it, by the way.
- What's wrong?
1240
00:58:52,213 --> 00:58:54,278
- My fucking knee.
- What's wrong with your knee?
1241
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:55,610
I got hit by a log.
1242
00:58:55,612 --> 00:58:57,410
You got hit by a log, what?
1243
00:58:57,412 --> 00:58:59,278
We were chasing him. I got hit by
a fucking log. It really hurts.
1244
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:00,976
I'm gonna go in. Fuck, I'm
pissed off about this, but go.
1245
00:59:00,978 --> 00:59:02,976
You want me to call
the pediatrician?
1246
00:59:02,978 --> 00:59:04,976
- I'm an adult. I don't need a pediatrician.
- You're not coming?
1247
00:59:04,978 --> 00:59:07,343
I think I'm gonna slow you down.
Why don't you guys go?
1248
00:59:07,345 --> 00:59:08,609
After the gym, let's meet up.
1249
00:59:08,611 --> 00:59:09,743
All right, fine.
1250
00:59:09,745 --> 00:59:10,876
Trust me, I wanna go...
1251
00:59:10,878 --> 00:59:13,709
Y'all need a sub? Huh?
I'm in!
1252
00:59:13,711 --> 00:59:16,042
HOGAN: We're super good, man.
Thanks!
1253
00:59:16,044 --> 00:59:17,342
We're good.
1254
00:59:17,344 --> 00:59:20,041
Who's banned now, bitch?
1255
00:59:20,043 --> 00:59:23,776
(GRUNTS) I'm okay. All right, guys.
Take it easy!
1256
00:59:25,576 --> 00:59:27,574
(LOU GASPS)
1257
00:59:27,576 --> 00:59:29,643
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1258
00:59:35,209 --> 00:59:37,172
Oh, that knee healed up fast.
1259
00:59:37,174 --> 00:59:38,875
Stay out of this, Lou.
1260
00:59:43,074 --> 00:59:45,040
LOU: Oh, you saucy devil.
1261
00:59:55,873 --> 00:59:59,137
Hey, there, welcome to Granite Fitness.
Get hard, stay hard.
1262
00:59:59,139 --> 01:00:02,904
Just so you guys know, we're going
to be closing in five short minutes,
1263
01:00:02,906 --> 01:00:04,737
but is there anything
I can help you with?
1264
01:00:04,739 --> 01:00:07,003
Yes, Dave, in fact there is
something you could help us with.
1265
01:00:07,005 --> 01:00:09,571
How would you
like to earn $500?
1266
01:00:16,436 --> 01:00:19,901
Okay, just so you guys know, I'm not
sucking your guys' dicks, all right?
1267
01:00:19,903 --> 01:00:21,501
And I'm not letting you
suck my dick either.
1268
01:00:21,503 --> 01:00:24,400
No one is talking about anyone
sucking anyone's anything.
1269
01:00:24,402 --> 01:00:27,868
You sure about that? 'Cause
this guy's eyeing me hard.
1270
01:00:27,870 --> 01:00:29,567
- What?
- I'm just saying, man,
1271
01:00:29,569 --> 01:00:31,133
- you've got that vibe.
- Yeah?
1272
01:00:31,135 --> 01:00:32,267
Stop it.
1273
01:00:32,269 --> 01:00:33,767
Hey, Sable, seriously. Chill.
1274
01:00:33,769 --> 01:00:35,066
- Just stop it.
- Stop it?
1275
01:00:35,068 --> 01:00:37,599
It's too sexual.
You're undressing me,
1276
01:00:37,601 --> 01:00:39,233
literally, right now
with your eyes.
1277
01:00:39,235 --> 01:00:45,165
Dave. 500 bucks, and all we
want is to know where Jerry is.
1278
01:00:45,167 --> 01:00:49,765
Oh! Jerry. Yes, okay, shit.
1279
01:00:49,767 --> 01:00:53,530
He did mention that some people were
gonna swing by looking for him.
1280
01:00:53,532 --> 01:00:56,331
He left a message.
Oh, yeah.
1281
01:00:56,333 --> 01:00:57,930
Go fuck yourselves.
1282
01:00:57,932 --> 01:01:00,230
Okay, look. $1,000.
All right? Easy money.
1283
01:01:00,232 --> 01:01:01,797
Jerry won't even know
that you sold him out.
1284
01:01:01,799 --> 01:01:03,663
I got a better idea.
Why don't you go back
1285
01:01:03,665 --> 01:01:06,097
to the little Best Western
that you're staying in
1286
01:01:06,099 --> 01:01:08,330
and jerk each other off
in the nude?
1287
01:01:08,332 --> 01:01:10,796
Why do you keep taking this
conversation into a sexual direction?
1288
01:01:10,798 --> 01:01:14,029
Listen, Dave. $1,500.
Don't be an idiot.
1289
01:01:14,031 --> 01:01:15,762
Not a chance,
you dick-suckin' homophobes.
1290
01:01:15,764 --> 01:01:18,028
- Hey!
- What?
1291
01:01:18,030 --> 01:01:19,928
Dave?
1292
01:01:19,930 --> 01:01:21,228
Do you know
what we're gonna do?
1293
01:01:21,230 --> 01:01:22,730
What?
1294
01:01:25,896 --> 01:01:28,596
We're gonna waterboard you.
1295
01:01:39,494 --> 01:01:40,893
Don't be a hero, Dave.
1296
01:01:40,895 --> 01:01:43,094
Jerry doesn't give
a shit about you.
1297
01:01:44,427 --> 01:01:46,058
So tell us where he is.
1298
01:01:46,060 --> 01:01:47,593
I'm never gonna tell you.
1299
01:01:48,361 --> 01:01:51,092
Last chance, Dave.
1300
01:01:51,094 --> 01:01:53,458
You're not gonna go through
with this for some game,
1301
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:54,959
so quit jerking me off!
1302
01:01:56,293 --> 01:01:57,624
Oh, Jesus.
1303
01:01:57,626 --> 01:01:59,057
No one's jerking you off, kid.
1304
01:01:59,059 --> 01:02:01,091
'Cause Jerry has pushed us
to the fucking edge.
1305
01:02:01,093 --> 01:02:03,023
If you don't tell us
what we need to know,
1306
01:02:03,025 --> 01:02:05,223
you're going over
the edge with us.
1307
01:02:05,225 --> 01:02:06,890
You ready to die
for this shit?
1308
01:02:06,892 --> 01:02:08,522
I'd rather die than get
sucked off by you homophobes.
1309
01:02:08,524 --> 01:02:11,756
We're not gonna suck you off,
we're gonna waterboard you.
1310
01:02:11,758 --> 01:02:13,589
I'm just taking
a principled stand right now.
1311
01:02:13,591 --> 01:02:16,122
Okay. Well, guess what. Now,
this is gonna happen. All right?
1312
01:02:16,124 --> 01:02:18,089
Are you ready? I hope you
can hold your breath, son!
1313
01:02:18,091 --> 01:02:19,122
Do it!
1314
01:02:19,124 --> 01:02:20,988
BOB: 'Cause this is going
right down!
1315
01:02:20,990 --> 01:02:23,221
- Yeah!
- You son of a bitch!
1316
01:02:23,223 --> 01:02:24,420
BOB: Here it comes!
1317
01:02:24,422 --> 01:02:25,687
It's coming! It's coming!
1318
01:02:25,689 --> 01:02:27,454
Yeah. You know, we should not.
1319
01:02:27,456 --> 01:02:30,120
I feel like it would be too much.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1320
01:02:30,122 --> 01:02:31,487
That got outta hand.
1321
01:02:31,489 --> 01:02:32,987
My heart is beating
really fast right now.
1322
01:02:32,989 --> 01:02:35,153
We were just kidding,
we were just bluffing.
1323
01:02:35,155 --> 01:02:37,852
- No, we weren't fucking bluffing!
- Anna, Anna, Anna!
1324
01:02:37,854 --> 01:02:40,219
- Oh, my God, no. Just, no.
- Sweetheart.
1325
01:02:40,221 --> 01:02:43,418
It's a war crime, right?
It's not really who we are.
1326
01:02:43,420 --> 01:02:44,552
Yep, sorry.
1327
01:02:44,554 --> 01:02:46,719
We got a kinky cat over here.
1328
01:02:46,721 --> 01:02:48,385
- Okay.
- Fuck you, Dave.
1329
01:02:48,387 --> 01:02:50,384
God, I love your passion.
1330
01:02:50,386 --> 01:02:52,087
I'll tell you what.
1331
01:02:53,852 --> 01:02:57,651
I will tell you where
Jerry's gonna be
1332
01:02:57,653 --> 01:03:01,516
for $2,000. Cash. American.
1333
01:03:01,518 --> 01:03:02,917
- Okay, fine.
- No problem.
1334
01:03:02,919 --> 01:03:04,317
Why didn't you say that
in the first place?
1335
01:03:04,319 --> 01:03:06,416
Why did you take us down
this whole road?
1336
01:03:06,418 --> 01:03:08,883
It looked like there was room to negotiate,
and I was all prepared to do that.
1337
01:03:08,885 --> 01:03:11,116
But then we went down
the whole torture track
1338
01:03:11,118 --> 01:03:15,882
and I dug my heels in, philosophically.
I happen to be an objector.
1339
01:03:15,884 --> 01:03:18,548
- We are too, obviously.
- Not really.
1340
01:03:18,550 --> 01:03:20,249
That was a bluff.
1341
01:03:20,251 --> 01:03:21,414
You know what? You should
probably not write this down
1342
01:03:21,416 --> 01:03:22,881
and if it does come up,
1343
01:03:22,883 --> 01:03:25,615
just mention that we didn't
actually waterboard him.
1344
01:03:25,617 --> 01:03:27,081
No waterboarding.
1345
01:03:27,083 --> 01:03:29,981
Just a lot of talk about
sucking each other's dicks.
1346
01:03:29,983 --> 01:03:31,779
Yeah.
1347
01:03:31,781 --> 01:03:33,447
Okay, look, you know what?
Here.
1348
01:03:33,449 --> 01:03:37,815
I'm gonna give you $2,000, and
I'm gonna give you an extra
1349
01:03:38,481 --> 01:03:39,946
$500.
1350
01:03:39,948 --> 01:03:41,712
You just carry around
that kind of cash all day?
1351
01:03:41,714 --> 01:03:43,546
You were mentioning something
about Jerry, I think.
1352
01:03:43,548 --> 01:03:45,714
Yeah, Jerry is...
1353
01:03:46,248 --> 01:03:47,578
He's in AA.
1354
01:03:47,580 --> 01:03:50,011
- Wait, what?
- Yeah. Alcoholics Anonymous.
1355
01:03:50,013 --> 01:03:52,312
I know what it stands for. Wait, did
you guys know anything about this?
1356
01:03:52,314 --> 01:03:55,410
He goes there every morning
at a church on Brunswick.
1357
01:03:55,412 --> 01:03:57,144
Looking back,
I can kinda see it.
1358
01:03:57,146 --> 01:04:00,278
I mean, the first step is
recognizing you have a problem.
1359
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:03,310
I'm just glad he's getting
the help he needs.
1360
01:04:03,312 --> 01:04:05,244
Sorry, did you say
that church is on Brunswick?
1361
01:04:05,246 --> 01:04:06,610
- Yes.
- Okay!
1362
01:04:06,612 --> 01:04:08,077
- Let's go! Clean up the water!
- Thank you!
1363
01:04:08,079 --> 01:04:10,409
So sorry.
1364
01:04:10,411 --> 01:04:13,142
I told you this wasn't gonna be just
another boring corporate profile, right?
1365
01:04:13,144 --> 01:04:14,741
Right.
This is definitely different.
1366
01:04:14,743 --> 01:04:17,276
And I know I'm no longer
the center of the story,
1367
01:04:17,278 --> 01:04:20,010
which is fine with me.
I don't mind giving up the...
1368
01:04:22,576 --> 01:04:24,807
Bob, can I buy you a drink?
1369
01:04:24,809 --> 01:04:26,574
Can you fucking believe this?
Hold on one second.
1370
01:04:26,576 --> 01:04:28,610
- Maybe...
- One second, one second.
1371
01:04:30,543 --> 01:04:34,274
Hi! Hi! Wow! Look at this.
1372
01:04:34,276 --> 01:04:35,639
- How you doing?
- Good.
1373
01:04:35,641 --> 01:04:36,706
Pretty good.
Yeah, we're just catching up.
1374
01:04:36,708 --> 01:04:38,340
That's so nice.
How's that knee?
1375
01:04:38,342 --> 01:04:40,206
- It actually does hurt.
- Yeah.
1376
01:04:40,208 --> 01:04:43,240
But resting and talking to an old
friend has actually really helped.
1377
01:04:43,242 --> 01:04:44,905
Thank you for asking.
1378
01:04:44,907 --> 01:04:46,872
- How was the business call with Beijing?
- Super good.
1379
01:04:46,874 --> 01:04:48,339
- It was?
- Yeah, I got a lot done.
1380
01:04:48,341 --> 01:04:49,872
Great.
1381
01:04:49,874 --> 01:04:51,637
What, you think I faked
my business call to Beijing
1382
01:04:51,639 --> 01:04:53,105
like you faked
hurting your knee?
1383
01:04:53,107 --> 01:04:55,137
You know what, dude?
I'm sick of this shit, Bob.
1384
01:04:55,139 --> 01:04:57,071
- You're it. How 'bout that?
- No! Pass.
1385
01:04:57,073 --> 01:04:58,971
- You can't pass. And you can't tag back.
- You're it. I pass.
1386
01:04:58,973 --> 01:05:00,669
- Oh, my God.
- It's like literally the first rule.
1387
01:05:00,671 --> 01:05:02,238
- You're it! You're it!
- You cannot tag me back!
1388
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:04,736
- I'll rewrite the fucking rule book!
- Shut up!
1389
01:05:04,738 --> 01:05:06,337
Why are you acting
like children?
1390
01:05:06,339 --> 01:05:08,136
- 'Cause he started it.
- You started it.
1391
01:05:08,138 --> 01:05:09,936
- You literally started it. "My knee hurts."
- No, you started it!
1392
01:05:09,938 --> 01:05:11,203
What do you think
they're talking about?
1393
01:05:11,205 --> 01:05:12,337
Are we off the record?
1394
01:05:12,339 --> 01:05:14,004
Yeah, sure, sure.
1395
01:05:14,871 --> 01:05:15,935
No idea.
1396
01:05:15,937 --> 01:05:17,601
You know what?
I shouldn't have come.
1397
01:05:17,603 --> 01:05:19,368
Jerry always gets
in your head.
1398
01:05:19,370 --> 01:05:21,034
Did Jerry tell you
to say that?
1399
01:05:21,036 --> 01:05:22,801
You part of the whole
Truman Show of it all?
1400
01:05:22,803 --> 01:05:24,934
I mean, Jerry invited me
to the rehearsal dinner,
1401
01:05:24,936 --> 01:05:27,766
because he thought it would
distract you guys, which it did.
1402
01:05:27,768 --> 01:05:31,367
But I wanted to see you.
So I came.
1403
01:05:31,369 --> 01:05:32,967
Sure.
1404
01:05:32,969 --> 01:05:34,567
Oh, my God.
1405
01:05:34,569 --> 01:05:36,867
You guys are fucking idiots. Both of you.
But I love you both.
1406
01:05:36,869 --> 01:05:39,234
I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll
see you later. Or not.
1407
01:05:39,236 --> 01:05:42,535
- Cheryl...
- Go get Jerry. He fucking deserves it.
1408
01:05:44,101 --> 01:05:45,500
Bye, Cheryl.
1409
01:05:46,101 --> 01:05:47,465
HOGAN: Wow!
1410
01:05:47,467 --> 01:05:49,131
What do you want?
1411
01:05:49,133 --> 01:05:51,865
There's gonna be plenty of
time to get rejected by Cheryl
1412
01:05:51,867 --> 01:05:54,531
after 12:00 a.m. on June 1st.
1413
01:05:54,533 --> 01:06:00,064
So what I need you guys to focus
on, is the fact that we're a team.
1414
01:06:00,066 --> 01:06:03,463
Right? When we love each
other, and we love this.
1415
01:06:03,465 --> 01:06:07,729
Let's bask in that. Stay focused
on our mission. All right?
1416
01:06:07,731 --> 01:06:09,562
Let's get back
on this horse and ride.
1417
01:06:09,564 --> 01:06:11,063
Let's get this asshole.
1418
01:06:11,065 --> 01:06:13,561
Lou, not part of it.
Not at all.
1419
01:06:13,563 --> 01:06:14,930
Now, shake.
1420
01:06:15,964 --> 01:06:16,964
Shake!
1421
01:06:19,563 --> 01:06:22,629
All right.
Now we got some work to do.
1422
01:06:34,862 --> 01:06:35,993
Got it.
1423
01:06:35,995 --> 01:06:37,862
Go get him, sweetie.
1424
01:06:53,126 --> 01:06:55,958
Okay.
1425
01:06:55,960 --> 01:06:58,824
Hey, do you think we should talk
to Jerry about being an alcoholic
1426
01:06:58,826 --> 01:07:00,959
- before we get into all this?
- No.
1427
01:07:02,227 --> 01:07:03,890
(SIGHS)
1428
01:07:03,892 --> 01:07:08,822
But now, I've been clean and
sober for almost four years.
1429
01:07:08,824 --> 01:07:12,856
Thanks to all of you
and that higher power. Amen?
1430
01:07:12,858 --> 01:07:14,958
ALL: Amen.
1431
01:07:16,590 --> 01:07:18,988
Jerry, you about ready
to share?
1432
01:07:18,990 --> 01:07:21,057
Come on, y'all,
let's give it up for Jerry.
1433
01:07:28,856 --> 01:07:31,589
- My name is Jerry.
- ALL: Hi, Jerry.
1434
01:07:34,688 --> 01:07:37,919
JERRY: The slight scent of weed.
Chilli.
1435
01:07:37,921 --> 01:07:40,253
He thinks he's caught me
off guard.
1436
01:07:40,255 --> 01:07:42,788
CHILLI: Oh, my God!
I've caught him off guard.
1437
01:07:45,653 --> 01:07:47,918
JERRY:
He rushes in from behind.
1438
01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:50,854
Idiot.
I give him a wake-up call.
1439
01:07:56,420 --> 01:08:00,551
CHILLI: Hazelnut coffee? What
kind of bitch drinks hazelnut?
1440
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:04,985
Holy! Chilli! Hit me!
1441
01:08:06,152 --> 01:08:07,749
Get him!
1442
01:08:07,751 --> 01:08:10,716
HOGAN: I'm going to trap him
and tag him in the face.
1443
01:08:10,718 --> 01:08:14,784
And yet, in my heart of hearts,
pretty sure it's not gonna work.
1444
01:08:16,617 --> 01:08:20,714
JERRY: Hoagie's attempts to face me
fail because he lacks confidence.
1445
01:08:20,716 --> 01:08:23,480
Also, I think it's fair to say
1446
01:08:23,482 --> 01:08:27,317
I'm fucking surgical with
these complimentary donuts.
1447
01:08:30,882 --> 01:08:34,748
REBECCA: And this is why
print journalism is dying.
1448
01:08:35,448 --> 01:08:37,780
(HOGAN GRUNTS AND MOANS)
1449
01:08:37,782 --> 01:08:40,946
BOB: Yes! This is the moment
I've been waiting for.
1450
01:08:40,948 --> 01:08:43,981
I'm going to be the one
who tags Jerry.
1451
01:08:47,014 --> 01:08:50,479
Callahan will become distracted
by his own arrogant thoughts,
1452
01:08:51,680 --> 01:08:53,711
which I will exploit.
1453
01:08:53,713 --> 01:08:57,113
This will be my victory, which makes
sense because success breeds success
1454
01:08:58,047 --> 01:08:59,047
Oh, God.
1455
01:09:05,112 --> 01:09:06,578
(BOB GROANS)
1456
01:09:10,145 --> 01:09:15,176
SABLE: How come "bi-weekly" means both
twice a week and every other week?
1457
01:09:15,178 --> 01:09:19,577
That's mad confusing and it's
just linguistically lazy.
1458
01:09:25,742 --> 01:09:26,742
Oh, shit!
1459
01:09:38,309 --> 01:09:39,975
- Holy shit!
- Excessive.
1460
01:09:48,607 --> 01:09:51,074
Feeling trapped, Jerry?
1461
01:09:51,673 --> 01:09:52,871
No.
1462
01:09:52,873 --> 01:09:53,873
Nice.
1463
01:09:57,040 --> 01:09:58,040
HOGAN: Holy shit!
1464
01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:01,438
No, no, no!
1465
01:10:02,538 --> 01:10:03,903
No, no, no!
1466
01:10:03,905 --> 01:10:04,870
(ALL GRUNT)
1467
01:10:04,872 --> 01:10:07,103
We got you, Jerry!
You're trapped!
1468
01:10:07,105 --> 01:10:10,368
Five hours till your wedding!
We can wait it out if you can!
1469
01:10:10,370 --> 01:10:12,105
(WHISTLING)
1470
01:10:25,770 --> 01:10:28,767
Shit. You know what
I just realized?
1471
01:10:28,769 --> 01:10:31,500
There's a lot of sacramental
wine and wafers in there.
1472
01:10:31,502 --> 01:10:32,567
He could survive
for quite a while.
1473
01:10:32,569 --> 01:10:33,834
No, he can't drink.
1474
01:10:33,836 --> 01:10:35,167
Yeah, but it's not real wine.
1475
01:10:35,169 --> 01:10:36,432
Yes, it is.
1476
01:10:36,434 --> 01:10:38,300
It's just grape juice.
It's not wine.
1477
01:10:38,302 --> 01:10:42,599
I mean, I was once so fucked up that
I took a shit in my niece's crib.
1478
01:10:42,601 --> 01:10:45,200
Twice, if you ask
my sister-in-law.
1479
01:10:45,202 --> 01:10:46,531
So how long you been sober?
1480
01:10:46,533 --> 01:10:48,233
Oh, no, I'm not sober.
1481
01:10:48,235 --> 01:10:50,165
I'm high right now. I'm
just here to tag my friend.
1482
01:10:50,167 --> 01:10:54,630
Good luck with the sobriety, man.
That's cool. Definitely.
1483
01:10:54,632 --> 01:10:56,897
It's awful quiet in there.
1484
01:10:56,899 --> 01:10:58,864
You know what he's doing?
It's a classic ruse.
1485
01:10:58,866 --> 01:11:00,430
Make 'em think
there's an exit,
1486
01:11:00,432 --> 01:11:02,031
and that he already escaped.
Not buying it.
1487
01:11:02,033 --> 01:11:04,064
I buy it. I bet he has a
secret door back there.
1488
01:11:04,066 --> 01:11:06,064
Refrigerator turns into
an elevator.
1489
01:11:06,066 --> 01:11:07,663
What?
1490
01:11:07,665 --> 01:11:09,563
Takes the elevator down to the basement.
That's his lair.
1491
01:11:09,565 --> 01:11:11,395
- Different outfits, computer screens.
- What are you talking about?
1492
01:11:11,397 --> 01:11:14,597
- Cameras watching us.
- He's not Batman.
1493
01:11:16,530 --> 01:11:18,129
Told you. In there.
1494
01:11:18,131 --> 01:11:20,460
What's it say?
1495
01:11:20,462 --> 01:11:23,828
- "Eat my dick."
- "Eat my dick." Balls. Ass?
1496
01:11:23,830 --> 01:11:24,928
Butt.
1497
01:11:24,930 --> 01:11:26,128
Ice cream.
1498
01:11:26,130 --> 01:11:27,794
- What?
- What?
1499
01:11:27,796 --> 01:11:29,894
Yeah, he's taunting me. He
knows I'm lactose intolerant.
1500
01:11:29,896 --> 01:11:31,626
(DOOR SQUEAKS)
1501
01:11:31,628 --> 01:11:34,459
What is going on? Where is he?
1502
01:11:34,461 --> 01:11:36,628
Where is he?
1503
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:40,995
(PANTING)
1504
01:11:42,427 --> 01:11:44,226
Jerry?
1505
01:11:44,228 --> 01:11:47,026
We're supposed to be getting our
wedding photos done in an hour.
1506
01:11:47,028 --> 01:11:48,324
What are you doing?
1507
01:11:48,326 --> 01:11:50,292
- Come on out, Jerry.
- Jerry, you could come out.
1508
01:11:50,294 --> 01:11:51,591
We're not gonna
get you, Jerry.
1509
01:11:51,593 --> 01:11:53,159
Babe, look, calm down.
Look, I'm sorry.
1510
01:11:53,161 --> 01:11:55,691
Shut up, Jerry. I can't
fucking take this, Jerry.
1511
01:11:55,693 --> 01:11:57,125
She can't take it.
Come on out.
1512
01:11:57,127 --> 01:11:59,091
Honey, why are you playing
this game right now?
1513
01:11:59,093 --> 01:12:01,523
Why are you playing this game
with your friends right now?
1514
01:12:01,525 --> 01:12:03,623
Why is he playing
this game right now?
1515
01:12:03,625 --> 01:12:05,590
JERRY: Hey, babe, look.
You gotta calm down, okay?
1516
01:12:05,592 --> 01:12:07,489
Listen to me!
It's very hard!
1517
01:12:07,491 --> 01:12:11,023
Because you have decided
to ruin everything.
1518
01:12:11,025 --> 01:12:12,689
And so have you.
1519
01:12:12,691 --> 01:12:16,023
With your stupid face,
and your stupid beard
1520
01:12:16,025 --> 01:12:17,655
and your stupid glasses
1521
01:12:17,657 --> 01:12:20,621
and that stupid jumpsuit.
1522
01:12:20,623 --> 01:12:22,655
There's only so much
a girl can take
1523
01:12:22,657 --> 01:12:25,888
and then you want me,
on top of that, just to...
1524
01:12:25,890 --> 01:12:28,254
(GASPING)
1525
01:12:28,256 --> 01:12:29,887
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
1526
01:12:29,889 --> 01:12:33,486
- JERRY: Babe? Suz? Sue?
- Oh, God! Jerry. Oh, my God.
1527
01:12:33,488 --> 01:12:35,386
- SUSAN: Boo? Boo-boo?
- Sue?
1528
01:12:35,388 --> 01:12:37,319
Boo-boo? Boo-boo?
1529
01:12:37,321 --> 01:12:38,820
- What happened?
- Boo-boo? Boo-boo...
1530
01:12:38,822 --> 01:12:40,419
- Wait, wait. What happened?
- Susan, are you okay?
1531
01:12:40,421 --> 01:12:42,418
- Sit down, sit down, sit down.
- The baby. It's the baby.
1532
01:12:42,420 --> 01:12:44,152
It's finally happening. He's right here.
Who's it? Bob, tag him.
1533
01:12:44,154 --> 01:12:45,451
- Are you kidding me?
- What?
1534
01:12:45,453 --> 01:12:47,086
There's something wrong
with her baby.
1535
01:12:47,088 --> 01:12:48,819
There's nothing wrong with that baby.
It's a fake.
1536
01:12:48,821 --> 01:12:50,251
If you won't do it, then tag me.
I'm gonna do it.
1537
01:12:50,253 --> 01:12:52,218
Oh, yeah. Fine.
You want me to tag you, then?
1538
01:12:52,220 --> 01:12:53,617
Oops! I missed.
1539
01:12:53,619 --> 01:12:55,085
As usual,
you're completely wrong.
1540
01:12:55,087 --> 01:12:57,350
This? You think I'm wrong?
This is so over the top!
1541
01:12:57,352 --> 01:12:58,951
This is obvious.
1542
01:12:58,953 --> 01:13:00,217
(GROANING)
1543
01:13:00,219 --> 01:13:02,150
Tag me and I'll give him
a hug, and I'll say,
1544
01:13:02,152 --> 01:13:04,817
"If she's having a miscarriage,
this is awful, and you're it."
1545
01:13:04,819 --> 01:13:06,516
Are you kidding me right now?
1546
01:13:06,518 --> 01:13:09,382
You know. This feels like a
scene from What Would You Do?
1547
01:13:09,384 --> 01:13:11,817
You get put
in a precarious situation
1548
01:13:11,819 --> 01:13:13,515
and you have to make
the right decision.
1549
01:13:13,517 --> 01:13:14,949
It's all actors and cameras.
1550
01:13:14,951 --> 01:13:18,882
It's not great television,
but it hooks me in.
1551
01:13:18,884 --> 01:13:19,816
CHILLI: What?
1552
01:13:19,818 --> 01:13:21,381
- JERRY: Come on.
- (SUSAN GROANS)
1553
01:13:21,383 --> 01:13:24,081
All right, we're good. We're
gonna get to the hospital.
1554
01:13:24,083 --> 01:13:28,247
Jesus. Hey! Jerry? Jerry, if you
need anything I could easily...
1555
01:13:28,249 --> 01:13:30,081
You come near her
or my baby,
1556
01:13:30,083 --> 01:13:31,949
I'll crush your windpipe, Bob.
1557
01:13:33,049 --> 01:13:34,715
This ain't no fucking game.
1558
01:13:39,182 --> 01:13:40,445
Uh...
1559
01:13:40,447 --> 01:13:42,112
I'm pretty sure
it's real, guys.
1560
01:13:42,114 --> 01:13:45,279
I will be so pissed if she
didn't have a miscarriage.
1561
01:13:45,281 --> 01:13:46,511
Chilli!
1562
01:13:46,513 --> 01:13:47,913
SABLE: We all would be.
1563
01:13:47,915 --> 01:13:49,845
It's just a thing
you don't say.
1564
01:13:49,847 --> 01:13:51,346
It's implied.
1565
01:14:11,211 --> 01:14:13,477
Hey, Linda. Namaste.
1566
01:14:15,343 --> 01:14:17,575
Shouldn't you boys be getting
cleaned up for the wedding?
1567
01:14:17,577 --> 01:14:19,777
Not you, Chilli.
You're perfect.
1568
01:14:20,343 --> 01:14:21,809
Thanks, Linda.
1569
01:14:21,811 --> 01:14:23,977
I don't think anybody's
gonna be freshening up.
1570
01:14:27,043 --> 01:14:29,609
Hoagie, you can't go
looking like that.
1571
01:14:32,209 --> 01:14:36,107
"To everyone askin', the
wedding has been postponed.
1572
01:14:36,109 --> 01:14:38,373
"Thank you for your thoughts
and prayers."
1573
01:14:38,375 --> 01:14:40,007
It's from Jerry's mom.
1574
01:14:40,009 --> 01:14:42,807
- What? Maybe we're bad people.
- Maybe?
1575
01:14:42,809 --> 01:14:44,372
Yes, I think
we definitely are.
1576
01:14:44,374 --> 01:14:45,839
SABLE: We might be.
1577
01:14:45,841 --> 01:14:49,437
Tag used to be a thing
that made me really happy.
1578
01:14:49,439 --> 01:14:52,671
But now, it's destroying me.
I feel sad.
1579
01:14:52,673 --> 01:14:54,172
Shut the fuck up, Sable.
1580
01:14:54,174 --> 01:14:57,538
Has anyone seen the
bridesmaids' Instagram stories?
1581
01:14:57,540 --> 01:15:00,670
- What?
- Check it out.
1582
01:15:00,672 --> 01:15:04,403
SABLE: "Wedding's canceled.
Sad face emoji.
1583
01:15:04,405 --> 01:15:07,335
"I can't wear the dress.
Such a pretty dress.
1584
01:15:07,337 --> 01:15:09,103
"So sad. Goodbye emoji."
1585
01:15:09,105 --> 01:15:12,736
Really? Is there any chance that
all these women could post banal
1586
01:15:12,738 --> 01:15:15,002
minute-by-minute
moments from their day,
1587
01:15:15,004 --> 01:15:17,301
with mind-numbing captions
at the same time?
1588
01:15:17,303 --> 01:15:19,368
- Totally.
- Absolutely. That's all Instagram is.
1589
01:15:19,370 --> 01:15:21,668
I don't know about this,
guys. I just...
1590
01:15:21,670 --> 01:15:23,168
It doesn't feel right.
1591
01:15:23,170 --> 01:15:25,268
I smell a rat.
1592
01:15:25,270 --> 01:15:26,968
That's what I've been saying. I have been
actually saying this the whole time.
1593
01:15:26,970 --> 01:15:30,534
Hey, sweetheart, can we just move on?
It's over.
1594
01:15:30,536 --> 01:15:32,667
But it's not.
Now, come on, guys.
1595
01:15:32,669 --> 01:15:34,066
I'm gonna get
to the bottom of this.
1596
01:15:34,068 --> 01:15:35,767
- Bob.
- What'd I do?
1597
01:15:35,769 --> 01:15:37,366
Can I take
a photograph of you?
1598
01:15:37,368 --> 01:15:39,633
- No. Okay.
- Cute.
1599
01:15:39,635 --> 01:15:41,199
I'm gonna set up
an Instagram account for you.
1600
01:15:41,201 --> 01:15:42,466
Please don't.
1601
01:15:42,468 --> 01:15:43,666
Rachel Ditmus
is the only bridesmaid
1602
01:15:43,668 --> 01:15:45,498
with a private
Instagram account.
1603
01:15:45,500 --> 01:15:47,598
She's been wanting you to finger
bang her since the sixth grade.
1604
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:52,565
If anybody's stupid enough to fall for
our request, it will be that dum-dum.
1605
01:15:52,567 --> 01:15:53,964
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1606
01:15:53,966 --> 01:15:56,330
And sent. All we've
gotta do now is wait.
1607
01:15:56,332 --> 01:15:58,631
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
- And accepted!
1608
01:15:58,633 --> 01:16:00,364
- Really?
- That was weirdly fast.
1609
01:16:00,366 --> 01:16:01,963
Do not finger bang her.
1610
01:16:01,965 --> 01:16:04,429
Oh, my God. I was right.
1611
01:16:04,431 --> 01:16:06,830
- What? What are we looking at here?
- What the hell is this?
1612
01:16:06,832 --> 01:16:08,230
A wedding dress.
1613
01:16:08,232 --> 01:16:09,530
What the fuck?
1614
01:16:09,532 --> 01:16:11,362
They faked
the fucking miscarriage!
1615
01:16:11,364 --> 01:16:13,462
No, no. Jerry's going down. We're
gonna destroy that wedding.
1616
01:16:13,464 --> 01:16:16,263
CHILLI: Let's go!
BOB: This is bullshit. That is so fucked up.
1617
01:16:16,265 --> 01:16:18,531
(SHOUTING)
1618
01:16:20,230 --> 01:16:21,429
Hoagie?
1619
01:16:23,596 --> 01:16:25,228
Hoagie, what are you doing?
1620
01:16:25,230 --> 01:16:27,060
Damn it!
1621
01:16:27,062 --> 01:16:28,528
- Sweetie.
- Hoagie?
1622
01:16:28,530 --> 01:16:29,996
Be careful.
1623
01:16:30,962 --> 01:16:32,360
Should we stop him, or...
1624
01:16:32,362 --> 01:16:35,562
I'm not getting near him.
He's swinging that bat around.
1625
01:16:37,262 --> 01:16:40,028
- Sweetie, that's your mom's.
- Yeah, you're gonna hurt yourself.
1626
01:16:43,861 --> 01:16:45,361
(SHOUTS)
1627
01:16:47,661 --> 01:16:53,926
We lost! He beat us!
The game is over!
1628
01:16:55,093 --> 01:16:57,590
We can't tag Jerry.
1629
01:16:57,592 --> 01:17:01,923
It's just time for us to come to terms
with that. He's untouchable, that's it.
1630
01:17:01,925 --> 01:17:03,857
What do you wanna do?
You wanna just give up?
1631
01:17:03,859 --> 01:17:06,489
Yeah, Bob. I wanna give up.
It's time to give up.
1632
01:17:06,491 --> 01:17:08,190
Come on, Hogan.
You're not a quitter.
1633
01:17:08,192 --> 01:17:09,823
What's the alternative?
1634
01:17:09,825 --> 01:17:13,122
We go to the wedding,
we try to tag him, we fail
1635
01:17:13,124 --> 01:17:14,523
and we fuck up the wedding?
1636
01:17:14,525 --> 01:17:16,122
That's not a cool move.
That's a dick move.
1637
01:17:16,124 --> 01:17:17,889
That's not what friends do.
That's what assholes do.
1638
01:17:17,891 --> 01:17:20,988
Hoagie! He faked
a fucking miscarriage.
1639
01:17:20,990 --> 01:17:24,155
This is a miscarriage
of justice.
1640
01:17:24,157 --> 01:17:25,554
This is where we get him.
1641
01:17:25,556 --> 01:17:27,420
He deserves to pay for that.
1642
01:17:27,422 --> 01:17:30,221
Even if we wanted to do that,
we all signed an amendment.
1643
01:17:30,223 --> 01:17:33,553
Amendments are null and void
if you fake a miscarriage.
1644
01:17:33,555 --> 01:17:35,120
That's just basic
contract law.
1645
01:17:35,122 --> 01:17:37,120
- That's law. Basic contract law.
- Law.
1646
01:17:37,122 --> 01:17:38,520
Like he said.
1647
01:17:38,522 --> 01:17:39,653
- I literally, said exactly that.
- I know.
1648
01:17:39,655 --> 01:17:41,553
We're saying it together.
1649
01:17:41,555 --> 01:17:44,186
But I was also right earlier, because
I said the miscarriage was fake.
1650
01:17:44,188 --> 01:17:48,786
The amendment stands,
and maybe that's a good thing.
1651
01:17:48,788 --> 01:17:51,920
Maybe it's time
to grow up a little.
1652
01:17:52,653 --> 01:17:54,551
I'm going to the wedding
1653
01:17:54,553 --> 01:17:59,383
and you guys can do what you want.
I hope you come, too.
1654
01:17:59,385 --> 01:18:01,619
Chilli, just put on a tie.
1655
01:18:04,885 --> 01:18:05,918
Sweetie.
1656
01:18:09,451 --> 01:18:10,849
Do you even have a tie?
1657
01:18:10,851 --> 01:18:12,315
Yes, I have a tie.
1658
01:18:12,317 --> 01:18:13,915
- Do you need to borrow a tie?
- Yes, I need to borrow a tie.
1659
01:18:13,917 --> 01:18:14,917
Okay.
1660
01:18:56,714 --> 01:19:00,043
Hi! I'm so glad you made it!
1661
01:19:00,045 --> 01:19:01,511
Is that champagne?
1662
01:19:01,513 --> 01:19:03,744
I know. Ugh... (CHUCKLES)
1663
01:19:03,746 --> 01:19:05,643
I'm the girl
who cried miscarriage.
1664
01:19:05,645 --> 01:19:07,643
But I had to get him
out of that room
1665
01:19:07,645 --> 01:19:09,376
and distract you
for a couple of hours
1666
01:19:09,378 --> 01:19:11,009
so that the amendment
could kick in.
1667
01:19:11,011 --> 01:19:12,610
Okay. Are you even pregnant?
1668
01:19:12,612 --> 01:19:15,275
- No, I was never pregnant.
- You were never pregnant?
1669
01:19:15,277 --> 01:19:17,143
- Whoa.
- Wow.
1670
01:19:17,145 --> 01:19:20,008
Just listen. Jerry knew that you
guys might get the drop on him
1671
01:19:20,010 --> 01:19:23,008
so "Operation Miscarriage"
was our fail-safe.
1672
01:19:23,010 --> 01:19:25,407
- It was an operation?
- It was actually my idea.
1673
01:19:25,409 --> 01:19:27,274
- Brilliant. Brilliant!
- Aw, thanks.
1674
01:19:27,276 --> 01:19:28,940
That's diabolical.
1675
01:19:28,942 --> 01:19:31,306
Everyone's just pissed because
you won, and they're boys,
1676
01:19:31,308 --> 01:19:34,773
they can't get pregnant. So
they can't fake a miscarriage.
1677
01:19:34,775 --> 01:19:36,406
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
- It's true.
1678
01:19:36,408 --> 01:19:39,106
Look, I'm not saying I want
you to have a miscarriage.
1679
01:19:39,108 --> 01:19:41,039
Then don't.
1680
01:19:41,041 --> 01:19:43,405
'Cause that would be terrible. But
if you ever do have a miscarriage,
1681
01:19:43,407 --> 01:19:45,206
I don't wanna say
that you would deserve it
1682
01:19:45,208 --> 01:19:48,639
'cause that's too far, but what
I will say and what I do feel
1683
01:19:48,641 --> 01:19:51,005
- is that's what you get.
- Uh...
1684
01:19:51,007 --> 01:19:54,438
Okay. It's fine. We can all
have different feelings.
1685
01:19:54,440 --> 01:19:56,837
But it's our wedding day,
you guys. Come on.
1686
01:19:56,839 --> 01:19:59,138
And we came up
with this great amendment
1687
01:19:59,140 --> 01:20:04,470
so that we could all enjoy this day
together and have fun and relax.
1688
01:20:04,472 --> 01:20:05,903
Are we cool?
1689
01:20:05,905 --> 01:20:08,203
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Not yet.
1690
01:20:08,205 --> 01:20:13,002
Sorry. Not cool yet. It's
just, you did murder a child.
1691
01:20:13,004 --> 01:20:14,969
- No.
- She didn't. No, it was a fake miscarriage.
1692
01:20:14,971 --> 01:20:18,035
Yeah, not the imaginary child
that was inside of you
1693
01:20:18,037 --> 01:20:22,169
but the actual inner child
that lives inside of me.
1694
01:20:22,171 --> 01:20:24,001
Got decapitated.
1695
01:20:24,003 --> 01:20:28,135
Head flew up, did flips in the
air, blood spurting everywhere.
1696
01:20:28,137 --> 01:20:31,634
Hoagie, Jerry has
a perfect record
1697
01:20:31,636 --> 01:20:33,767
and we're a team now.
1698
01:20:33,769 --> 01:20:35,067
The winning team.
1699
01:20:35,069 --> 01:20:37,799
And I just feel like, Hoagie,
if you're gonna play
1700
01:20:37,801 --> 01:20:41,200
a children's game
as a grown man,
1701
01:20:41,202 --> 01:20:43,934
maybe next time
don't play like a child.
1702
01:20:45,834 --> 01:20:49,632
Anyways, I am really excited
you guys are here.
1703
01:20:49,634 --> 01:20:52,565
Try the raw bar.
It's off the hook.
1704
01:20:52,567 --> 01:20:54,631
It's my wedding!
I'm getting married!
1705
01:20:54,633 --> 01:20:57,399
- Congratulations.
- Come on! Grab it!
1706
01:21:01,899 --> 01:21:05,597
I take back everything I said
about her being effervescent.
1707
01:21:05,599 --> 01:21:07,597
I met Jerry in AA.
1708
01:21:07,599 --> 01:21:10,597
You see, people,
I got a lot of problems.
1709
01:21:10,599 --> 01:21:15,895
Anger issues, I left my wife,
I have many kids.
1710
01:21:15,897 --> 01:21:19,361
And this man got me
to turn to the cloth.
1711
01:21:19,363 --> 01:21:21,328
It was a low point in my life.
1712
01:21:21,330 --> 01:21:23,461
There was jail time involved.
1713
01:21:23,463 --> 01:21:25,894
I briefly converted to Islam.
1714
01:21:25,896 --> 01:21:30,228
I lost a long legal battle
with Jo-Ann Fabrics.
1715
01:21:30,230 --> 01:21:33,760
During that time I got to know
Jerry and Susan as a couple.
1716
01:21:33,762 --> 01:21:35,360
And that is a true blessing.
1717
01:21:35,362 --> 01:21:38,127
What's the difference between
Episcopalian and Lutheran?
1718
01:21:38,129 --> 01:21:41,392
Episcopalians don't eat fish.
1719
01:21:41,394 --> 01:21:45,259
That's pescatarian.
That's not a religion.
1720
01:21:45,261 --> 01:21:47,593
They're all fanatics.
I don't know.
1721
01:21:47,595 --> 01:21:49,126
Remind me again,
is it on the kiss
1722
01:21:49,128 --> 01:21:50,824
or after they walk back
down the aisle?
1723
01:21:50,826 --> 01:21:53,525
Seriously? You said you'd
worked weddings before.
1724
01:21:53,527 --> 01:21:55,858
The kiss, the doves,
end of ceremony,
1725
01:21:55,860 --> 01:21:57,592
the groom was very specific
about this.
1726
01:21:57,594 --> 01:22:00,191
PASTOR: ...and finds new ways
of expressing love
1727
01:22:00,193 --> 01:22:03,457
through the ups
and downs of life.
1728
01:22:03,459 --> 01:22:07,523
Susan, do you take Jerry
to be your husband?
1729
01:22:07,525 --> 01:22:10,023
Do you promise to love, honor,
cherish and protect him,
1730
01:22:10,025 --> 01:22:14,324
forsaking all others, holding
only to him, forever more?
1731
01:22:14,958 --> 01:22:16,156
I do.
1732
01:22:16,158 --> 01:22:17,422
Beautiful.
1733
01:22:17,424 --> 01:22:19,322
(WHISPERS)
There's gonna be a window.
1734
01:22:19,324 --> 01:22:21,390
- What, sweetie?
- The doves.
1735
01:22:22,090 --> 01:22:23,588
What about the doves?
1736
01:22:23,590 --> 01:22:25,821
There's an opening.
1737
01:22:25,823 --> 01:22:28,088
Just relax, honey.
1738
01:22:28,090 --> 01:22:29,922
You seem stressed.
1739
01:22:30,922 --> 01:22:34,653
Jerry, do you take Susan
to be your wife?
1740
01:22:34,655 --> 01:22:37,753
Do you promise to love, honor,
cherish and protect her,
1741
01:22:37,755 --> 01:22:42,352
forsaking all others, holding
only to her, forever more?
1742
01:22:42,354 --> 01:22:43,652
I do.
1743
01:22:43,654 --> 01:22:45,452
I mean, this is actually
kind of beautiful.
1744
01:22:45,454 --> 01:22:47,053
It really is, man.
1745
01:22:47,055 --> 01:22:50,488
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
1746
01:22:51,653 --> 01:22:53,787
You may kiss the bride.
1747
01:22:54,386 --> 01:22:56,420
(CROWD CLAPPING)
1748
01:23:31,749 --> 01:23:33,047
(GASPS)
1749
01:23:33,049 --> 01:23:34,615
(SCREAMS)
1750
01:23:37,049 --> 01:23:38,915
(GRUNTS)
1751
01:23:40,814 --> 01:23:42,645
JERRY: Hoagie!
SABLE: Go, go, go!
1752
01:23:42,647 --> 01:23:44,979
- Oh, God! Guys, go!
- Hoagie! You okay?
1753
01:23:44,981 --> 01:23:46,414
Jesus.
1754
01:23:46,881 --> 01:23:48,245
Hey, man.
1755
01:23:48,247 --> 01:23:49,445
Buddy?
1756
01:23:49,447 --> 01:23:51,978
- You scared away the swans.
- Hoagie?
1757
01:23:51,980 --> 01:23:53,611
- Hogan? Hogan.
- Hoagie!
1758
01:23:53,613 --> 01:23:56,078
I can't believe that you guys did this.
Right now.
1759
01:23:56,080 --> 01:23:59,477
Well, I don't think you get to claim the
moral high ground over us, actually.
1760
01:23:59,479 --> 01:24:01,212
Yeah, you're not better
than us.
1761
01:24:01,214 --> 01:24:02,677
You and your wife pretended to
have a goddamn miscarriage...
1762
01:24:02,679 --> 01:24:04,577
Misunderstanding!
Misunderstanding.
1763
01:24:04,579 --> 01:24:07,276
- BOB: Misunderstanding.
- In her vagina.
1764
01:24:07,278 --> 01:24:08,609
Wow. Oh, boy.
1765
01:24:08,611 --> 01:24:10,276
Guys, call a doctor!
1766
01:24:10,278 --> 01:24:11,909
- ANNA: Can you hear me?
- Buddy?
1767
01:24:11,911 --> 01:24:13,743
- Hey!
- Somebody get a doctor!
1768
01:24:13,745 --> 01:24:16,375
- Bud?
- He's gone full loss of consciousness.
1769
01:24:16,377 --> 01:24:18,176
That's impressive.
1770
01:24:18,178 --> 01:24:21,541
- Even better than your performance. Right?
- I know! It's so good!
1771
01:24:21,543 --> 01:24:24,008
Excuse me, everyone,
1772
01:24:24,010 --> 01:24:25,574
everything's fine.
1773
01:24:25,576 --> 01:24:27,576
Uh... This is all just a game.
1774
01:24:29,143 --> 01:24:30,408
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
OVER PA)
1775
01:24:30,410 --> 01:24:32,273
He's still unconscious,
but he's stable.
1776
01:24:32,275 --> 01:24:35,007
He really should never have been
this active given his condition.
1777
01:24:35,009 --> 01:24:37,775
- You can see him when he wakes up.
- Thanks.
1778
01:24:38,975 --> 01:24:40,438
I got this.
1779
01:24:40,440 --> 01:24:43,239
Excuse me, Doctor.
Hey, how are ya?
1780
01:24:43,241 --> 01:24:46,705
- Yeah.
- Dr. Yoon, is it?
1781
01:24:46,707 --> 01:24:48,538
- Yes.
- How do you spell that?
1782
01:24:48,540 --> 01:24:51,905
- You're looking right at it.
- I know, but I'm just asking you.
1783
01:24:51,907 --> 01:24:53,804
What exactly
are you asking me?
1784
01:24:53,806 --> 01:24:56,405
My friends and I do this thing,
it's this really weird game.
1785
01:24:56,407 --> 01:24:59,071
Is there any chance this is all
fake, that you could just tell me.
1786
01:24:59,073 --> 01:25:01,071
I won't tell the others.
1787
01:25:01,073 --> 01:25:02,737
Is this fake?
1788
01:25:02,739 --> 01:25:04,703
- This hospital?
- The whole thing, yeah. Is it fake?
1789
01:25:04,705 --> 01:25:06,470
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
1790
01:25:06,472 --> 01:25:08,336
He told you to say that,
right?
1791
01:25:08,338 --> 01:25:10,736
- Look, I gotta prep a surgery.
- Will you just do me one quick favor?
1792
01:25:10,738 --> 01:25:12,869
Could you recite
the Hippocratic Oath for me?
1793
01:25:12,871 --> 01:25:15,004
That's not a thing
doctors memorize.
1794
01:25:17,738 --> 01:25:19,434
Still unsure.
1795
01:25:19,436 --> 01:25:21,668
It's gonna be fine.
It's just, it was a lot.
1796
01:25:21,670 --> 01:25:24,135
How does that all happen
at a wedding?
1797
01:25:24,137 --> 01:25:25,336
Hey, boss.
1798
01:25:25,903 --> 01:25:27,035
How did that go?
1799
01:25:27,037 --> 01:25:28,400
I'm all turned around.
1800
01:25:28,402 --> 01:25:30,301
About what?
1801
01:25:30,303 --> 01:25:32,067
If he's an actor
or if he's not.
1802
01:25:32,069 --> 01:25:35,569
He's not. He's a doctor.
We're in a hospital.
1803
01:25:36,534 --> 01:25:38,969
You're drinking the Kool-Aid.
1804
01:25:43,234 --> 01:25:44,601
(SIGHS)
1805
01:25:45,633 --> 01:25:47,999
All right. What do we do?
1806
01:25:48,001 --> 01:25:50,898
Look, Chilli, what's wrong with you?
Just go talk to the girl.
1807
01:25:50,900 --> 01:25:52,264
Could be a trap.
1808
01:25:52,266 --> 01:25:55,199
She's here for a friend
who is in the hospital. Okay?
1809
01:25:55,201 --> 01:25:56,864
You know I'm right.
I'm always right.
1810
01:25:56,866 --> 01:25:59,731
Okay, you're right about this,
but you are not always right.
1811
01:25:59,733 --> 01:26:02,362
- Buddy, I'm always right, and you know that it's true.
- Bob, you're not always right.
1812
01:26:02,364 --> 01:26:04,031
- 100%...
- 1989.
1813
01:26:04,033 --> 01:26:05,663
Oh, come on.
1814
01:26:05,665 --> 01:26:07,496
Ken Griffey, Jr. enters the
league, and what do you say?
1815
01:26:07,498 --> 01:26:09,063
He will never be
as good as his father.
1816
01:26:09,065 --> 01:26:10,396
And he's better
than his father.
1817
01:26:10,398 --> 01:26:12,595
- Where are the rings?
- You are so wrong!
1818
01:26:12,597 --> 01:26:15,428
The historical record
has proven that I am right.
1819
01:26:15,430 --> 01:26:17,662
You know what? Time will tell.
1820
01:26:17,664 --> 01:26:21,929
You will never admit that you
are wrong about anything.
1821
01:26:21,931 --> 01:26:23,995
Come on, it's been a while
since we've done this.
1822
01:26:23,997 --> 01:26:26,228
Come here, man.
1823
01:26:26,230 --> 01:26:27,661
This was a fun few days, man.
1824
01:26:27,663 --> 01:26:29,894
- I really missed you.
- I missed you, too, man.
1825
01:26:29,896 --> 01:26:32,227
- You want a breath mint?
- No, I don't want a breath mint.
1826
01:26:32,229 --> 01:26:34,028
- Stop it.
- You want a breath mint?
1827
01:26:34,030 --> 01:26:36,729
I would love a breath mint. I
got a gross taste in my mouth.
1828
01:26:43,427 --> 01:26:45,059
Hey, mind if I sit?
1829
01:26:45,061 --> 01:26:46,260
No.
1830
01:26:48,294 --> 01:26:50,193
Thanks for coming.
1831
01:26:50,195 --> 01:26:52,827
- I hope he's okay.
- Yeah, me, too.
1832
01:26:56,727 --> 01:26:57,927
Um...
1833
01:27:04,093 --> 01:27:07,890
I don't know if that...
We're in a hospital and...
1834
01:27:07,892 --> 01:27:09,322
- You know?
- Yes.
1835
01:27:09,324 --> 01:27:12,056
My friend is possibly dying.
1836
01:27:12,058 --> 01:27:16,354
But it feels like a time I need
to tell you how I feel about you
1837
01:27:16,356 --> 01:27:19,455
and I am so pumped
that your husband's dead.
1838
01:27:19,457 --> 01:27:21,455
- No.
- No.
1839
01:27:21,457 --> 01:27:24,289
But I'm really happy
to see you, Cheryl.
1840
01:27:25,824 --> 01:27:28,887
You are broke
and divorced and,
1841
01:27:28,889 --> 01:27:31,654
- just a fucking mess, really.
- Yeah.
1842
01:27:31,656 --> 01:27:33,453
But it's fun to see you, too.
1843
01:27:33,455 --> 01:27:35,453
Good. All right.
I'll take that.
1844
01:27:35,455 --> 01:27:38,786
I actually think that...
1845
01:27:38,788 --> 01:27:42,253
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I would see you again.
1846
01:27:43,022 --> 01:27:44,685
- For real?
- Yeah.
1847
01:27:44,687 --> 01:27:46,819
- Like a little date.
- No, definitely didn't say that.
1848
01:27:46,821 --> 01:27:49,385
- Like a dinner.
- Smaller than that.
1849
01:27:49,387 --> 01:27:51,554
- Like a lunch.
- How about a snack?
1850
01:27:52,486 --> 01:27:54,584
I'll take what I can get.
1851
01:27:54,586 --> 01:27:58,250
Hoagie, I know
you're fucking with me.
1852
01:27:58,252 --> 01:28:04,318
I'm not. I've got a tumor on my
liver the size of my right nut.
1853
01:28:06,285 --> 01:28:07,985
Jesus.
1854
01:28:08,719 --> 01:28:10,348
Yeah.
1855
01:28:10,350 --> 01:28:12,582
I know you're fucking with him but
what are you doing? What's the plan?
1856
01:28:12,584 --> 01:28:15,515
- Tell us what's going on.
- Chilli, there's no plan.
1857
01:28:15,517 --> 01:28:18,549
- What's going on?
- There's no plan, Chilli.
1858
01:28:18,551 --> 01:28:20,183
Stop winking at me.
1859
01:28:20,185 --> 01:28:21,882
Think it's real. This looks
like it's doing something.
1860
01:28:21,884 --> 01:28:24,347
Something real is happening
on this thing right here.
1861
01:28:24,349 --> 01:28:25,915
How long have you known this?
1862
01:28:25,917 --> 01:28:27,213
ANNA: For three weeks.
1863
01:28:27,215 --> 01:28:28,681
Three weeks.
1864
01:28:28,683 --> 01:28:32,280
Right nut.
Too specific, I call bullshit.
1865
01:28:32,282 --> 01:28:34,313
That's a lie.
Right? It's a lie.
1866
01:28:34,315 --> 01:28:35,547
I'm not lying.
1867
01:28:35,549 --> 01:28:39,047
Although I did lie
about one thing.
1868
01:28:39,049 --> 01:28:41,379
Jerry's not quitting
at the end of the season.
1869
01:28:41,381 --> 01:28:43,212
What? Why the fuck
would I quit?
1870
01:28:43,214 --> 01:28:44,746
Yeah, I said that
1871
01:28:44,748 --> 01:28:47,746
to get everyone together,
you know, for one last round.
1872
01:28:47,748 --> 01:28:50,945
Hoagie, tell me you are
fucking joking about this.
1873
01:28:50,947 --> 01:28:52,945
Uh... No.
1874
01:28:52,947 --> 01:28:59,512
There is a decent chance I will
not be around for next season.
1875
01:29:08,179 --> 01:29:09,378
Damn.
1876
01:29:11,478 --> 01:29:14,575
BOB: And, I mean, plus,
even if you were, you'd be,
1877
01:29:14,577 --> 01:29:17,408
- you know. Really slow.
- Yeah.
1878
01:29:17,410 --> 01:29:19,009
A total sitting duck.
1879
01:29:19,011 --> 01:29:21,675
Carrying an IV bag around,
that's easy...
1880
01:29:21,677 --> 01:29:23,407
I had an uncle
that went through chemo,
1881
01:29:23,409 --> 01:29:25,374
and afterwards,
he was terrible at games.
1882
01:29:25,376 --> 01:29:29,307
But I guess that makes sense. It
would be weird if he got better.
1883
01:29:29,309 --> 01:29:30,974
Then everybody
would be getting chemo.
1884
01:29:30,976 --> 01:29:32,810
(ALL CHUCKLE)
1885
01:29:33,976 --> 01:29:36,241
I love you guys.
1886
01:29:37,341 --> 01:29:40,573
Love, I love this game.
You know?
1887
01:29:40,575 --> 01:29:44,441
I don't know what it is.
It brings out the best in us.
1888
01:29:46,041 --> 01:29:47,839
Except today.
1889
01:29:47,841 --> 01:29:51,006
Today, I don't know.
1890
01:29:51,008 --> 01:29:55,773
I really fucked up your wedding,
Jerry, and I am super sorry.
1891
01:29:56,973 --> 01:29:58,504
Jerry?
1892
01:29:58,506 --> 01:30:01,907
- Has he... Has he hung up?
- Jerry?
1893
01:30:05,939 --> 01:30:09,739
You didn't fuck up my wedding, Hoagie.
Come on.
1894
01:30:10,939 --> 01:30:12,636
- Right?
- No.
1895
01:30:12,638 --> 01:30:14,969
You might have ruined
a moment. But...
1896
01:30:14,971 --> 01:30:18,334
I screwed it up. You should've
been up there with me.
1897
01:30:18,336 --> 01:30:20,169
All you boys should've.
1898
01:30:20,171 --> 01:30:21,735
That's my fault.
1899
01:30:21,737 --> 01:30:23,668
I always thought that
you guys were
1900
01:30:23,670 --> 01:30:25,635
just much closer to each other
than to me. So...
1901
01:30:25,637 --> 01:30:26,702
What?
1902
01:30:26,704 --> 01:30:28,701
I mean, if it seems like
we were closer,
1903
01:30:28,703 --> 01:30:31,567
it's only because
we're physically closer
1904
01:30:31,569 --> 01:30:33,068
because you always ran away.
1905
01:30:33,070 --> 01:30:34,600
Successfully.
You know, I mean,
1906
01:30:34,602 --> 01:30:36,734
not for nothing,
you might actually be
1907
01:30:36,736 --> 01:30:39,299
the very best person
at this game on the planet.
1908
01:30:39,301 --> 01:30:41,399
He might be, right?
1909
01:30:41,401 --> 01:30:44,265
Yeah, you're really good
at tag.
1910
01:30:44,267 --> 01:30:47,198
Yes, but you've kinda
missed the point.
1911
01:30:47,200 --> 01:30:50,532
I mean, it's not about trying
to get away from each other.
1912
01:30:50,534 --> 01:30:52,498
It's actually about
1913
01:30:52,500 --> 01:30:55,765
having a reason to be
around each other. You know?
1914
01:30:55,767 --> 01:30:57,165
Yeah.
1915
01:30:57,167 --> 01:30:59,764
I mean, Ben Franklin said it best.
Am I right?
1916
01:30:59,766 --> 01:31:01,798
"We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old..."
1917
01:31:01,800 --> 01:31:03,998
ALL: "We grow old because
we stop playing."
1918
01:31:04,000 --> 01:31:06,663
I been wanting to say for a few years,
that quote is not Benjamin Franklin.
1919
01:31:06,665 --> 01:31:09,363
That is German anthropologist
Karl Groos.
1920
01:31:09,365 --> 01:31:10,830
Why are you ruining
the moment?
1921
01:31:10,832 --> 01:31:12,763
- I don't wanna know that.
- He's in the hospital.
1922
01:31:12,765 --> 01:31:14,429
- It felt like the right moment.
- It's not the right moment.
1923
01:31:14,431 --> 01:31:15,395
SABLE: It is the right moment.
CHILLI: It isn't.
1924
01:31:15,397 --> 01:31:16,931
So, Jerry...
1925
01:31:20,363 --> 01:31:21,729
It's 11:55.
1926
01:31:21,731 --> 01:31:24,463
Get in here,
and let me tag you.
1927
01:31:28,763 --> 01:31:30,628
You know, I've been
so attached, I suppose,
1928
01:31:30,630 --> 01:31:32,460
to my perfect record
all these years,
1929
01:31:32,462 --> 01:31:34,293
dominating you fools.
1930
01:31:34,295 --> 01:31:37,093
Maybe I should.
Maybe I shouldn't.
1931
01:31:37,095 --> 01:31:40,860
If you think about it,
Jerry is a tag virgin.
1932
01:31:40,862 --> 01:31:42,160
Or champion.
1933
01:31:42,162 --> 01:31:44,160
Just let us deflower you.
1934
01:31:44,162 --> 01:31:45,661
We'll be gentle.
1935
01:31:46,661 --> 01:31:47,661
I can't.
1936
01:31:49,560 --> 01:31:50,560
Come on.
1937
01:31:52,061 --> 01:31:53,658
I can't do it.
1938
01:31:53,660 --> 01:31:57,323
Then I'm not gonna tag anybody
and the game ends with me.
1939
01:31:57,325 --> 01:31:58,457
That's dark.
1940
01:31:58,459 --> 01:32:00,927
Or, just let me tag you.
1941
01:32:03,225 --> 01:32:04,959
All right, fuck it.
1942
01:32:11,025 --> 01:32:12,389
- It!
- Oh, my God!
1943
01:32:12,391 --> 01:32:13,890
Loser! Loser!
1944
01:32:13,892 --> 01:32:15,323
CHILLI: You suck!
1945
01:32:15,925 --> 01:32:18,388
Awesome.
1946
01:32:18,390 --> 01:32:21,188
- Yes!
- You officially suck.
1947
01:32:21,190 --> 01:32:22,422
Aw, you're so it!
1948
01:32:22,424 --> 01:32:24,757
Goddamn! All right!
1949
01:32:26,824 --> 01:32:28,888
I love you guys.
1950
01:32:28,890 --> 01:32:30,289
Love you too, man.
1951
01:32:33,856 --> 01:32:38,453
You know we got five minutes
left of May.
1952
01:32:38,455 --> 01:32:41,220
I ain't gonna be last it.
Bitches!
1953
01:32:59,787 --> 01:33:01,117
JERRY: Look, Bob!
Where are you gonna go, Bob?
1954
01:33:01,119 --> 01:33:02,552
No!
1955
01:33:07,951 --> 01:33:10,719
Verbal amendment?
That women should be playing.
1956
01:33:12,184 --> 01:33:14,584
- Amendment.
- Yeah, amendment.
1957
01:33:16,618 --> 01:33:19,049
Oh, you just made
a big mistake.
1958
01:33:19,051 --> 01:33:20,214
(CHILLI CHUCKLES)
1959
01:33:20,216 --> 01:33:22,848
- You're it, bitch!
- You're it now!
1960
01:33:22,850 --> 01:33:24,348
- You're going down!
- You're too intense!
1961
01:33:24,350 --> 01:33:26,615
You're gonna suck
my tiny ginger balls.
1962
01:33:26,617 --> 01:33:28,014
Gross!
1963
01:33:28,016 --> 01:33:29,247
You're gross!
1964
01:33:29,249 --> 01:33:30,884
(SCREAMS)
1965
01:33:40,015 --> 01:33:41,581
Come on!
Shit! No.
1966
01:33:46,914 --> 01:33:49,112
- You're it.
- No, I can't get involved in the story.
1967
01:33:49,114 --> 01:33:50,445
We made an amendment!
1968
01:33:50,447 --> 01:33:52,078
Come on,
it's a little bit fun right?
1969
01:33:52,080 --> 01:33:53,414
You have about three minutes.
1970
01:34:06,679 --> 01:34:10,909
Sable! Come on.
Where are your ethics, buddy?
1971
01:34:10,911 --> 01:34:12,876
Come on. Just reach out.
1972
01:34:12,878 --> 01:34:15,275
- No!
- You got it.
1973
01:34:15,277 --> 01:34:16,409
Oh, shit, hang on a second.
1974
01:34:16,411 --> 01:34:17,709
CHILLI: You okay?
1975
01:34:17,711 --> 01:34:19,577
- You all right?
- Yeah.
1976
01:34:21,377 --> 01:34:22,678
ANNA: You're it!
1977
01:34:59,807 --> 01:35:01,305
Tag, brother!
1978
01:35:04,073 --> 01:35:06,236
You're it!
1979
01:35:06,238 --> 01:35:08,870
- CAMERAMAN: I'm it?
- You're it?
1980
01:35:08,872 --> 01:35:10,236
CAMERAMAN: Now you're it.
1981
01:35:10,238 --> 01:35:13,204
You got me. No way!
(LAUGHING)
1982
01:35:15,170 --> 01:35:17,672
- Not bad, huh? Pretty hot?
- Wow.
1983
01:35:21,504 --> 01:35:22,803
(GROWLS)
1984
01:35:28,202 --> 01:35:29,567
You're it!
1985
01:35:29,569 --> 01:35:30,802
(SCREAMS)
1986
01:35:32,969 --> 01:35:34,403
Yeah, baby.
1987
01:35:35,869 --> 01:35:38,067
CAMERAMAN:
Hey, fucker. You're it!
1988
01:35:38,069 --> 01:35:39,901
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1989
01:35:40,702 --> 01:35:42,502
You're it! Yeah!
1990
01:35:43,702 --> 01:35:45,234
You're it, baby!
1991
01:37:42,589 --> 01:37:47,785
♪ Once, there was a kid who
1992
01:37:47,787 --> 01:37:52,518
♪ Got into an accident
and couldn't come to school
1993
01:37:52,520 --> 01:37:58,451
♪ But when he
finally came back
1994
01:37:58,453 --> 01:38:05,619
♪ His hair turned
from black into bright white
1995
01:38:07,386 --> 01:38:11,050
♪ He said that it was from
when the cars
1996
01:38:11,052 --> 01:38:16,284
♪ Had smashed him so hard
1997
01:38:17,217 --> 01:38:19,851
(HUMMING)
1998
01:38:27,650 --> 01:38:32,180
♪ Once, there was
this girl who
1999
01:38:32,182 --> 01:38:37,847
♪ Wouldn't go and change with
the girls in the change room
2000
01:38:37,849 --> 01:38:42,912
♪ But when they finally
made her
2001
01:38:42,914 --> 01:38:49,881
♪ They saw red marks
all over her body
2002
01:38:52,214 --> 01:38:55,277
♪ She couldn't quite
explain it
2003
01:38:55,279 --> 01:39:01,646
♪ They'd always just
been there
2004
01:39:03,046 --> 01:39:05,579
(HUMMING)
2005
01:39:10,745 --> 01:39:12,576
♪ Yeah
2006
01:39:12,578 --> 01:39:17,610
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
2007
01:39:23,477 --> 01:39:28,741
♪ Both the girl and the boy
were glad
2008
01:39:28,743 --> 01:39:34,442
♪ 'Cause one kid
had it worse than that
2009
01:39:38,875 --> 01:39:41,375
(HUMMING)
2010
01:39:51,774 --> 01:39:56,307
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey
2011
01:39:59,740 --> 01:40:05,204
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
2012
01:40:05,206 --> 01:40:10,305
♪ Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
2013
01:40:13,405 --> 01:40:15,271
- MAN: You're it.
- Fucker!
2014
01:40:15,273 --> 01:40:20,273
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