All language subtitles for Elaine Stritch~ Shoot Me (2013) DVDRip.x264-WaLMaRT

So, Elaine, at 86,

how do you feel about
where you are in your life?

Look.

I've got a certain amount
of fame.

I've got money!

I wish I could fucking drive!

Then I'd really be a menace.

Oh, God!
How cute.

You're still the best.

Thank you.
"Still," eh?

Ooh!

No, no, no, no, no.

Are you kidding?

Elaine?

Who's calling me?

Ramona, from Night Music.

Are you doing anything?

Yeah, I just did a film

where I played
a 1960s lesbian vampire.

Look at that.

That's a little different from,
like, my ingenue world.

This business sucks.

You are amazing.

- Okay.
- I love you.

Thank you!

You haven't changed at all.

No!

Join the club.

Okay!

Oh.
Is this your bedroom?

That's my bedroom,

and that's all the stuff
to look at, so...

Oh, no kidding.

It's all unpacked?

All right.
This is terrific.

Oh, look at that...

That's a rabbit.

I thought you said
you were gonna put him away.

I'll put him away.

They just didn't want
to go away until you came.

That's Sebastian.

Hello, Sebastian, you twit.

Okay.

This is a lovely bedroom.

Terrific.

Who's this?

- You.
- Me!

It's all you in here right now.

I was gonna say.

Yeah, you've got
a bunch of Hirschfelds.

Drawing...
Oh, well, I should have.

Yeah.

I've been on Broadway
for how many years?

1944.

Yep.

It's a long time...

It's a very good caricature.

Yeah, I think
he liked drawing you.

This is Harpo.

Good picture to have around...

The Johnny Carson Show.

"Elaine Stritch as 'Parthy.'"

That's in Show Boat.

One of the best things
I ever did in my life.

My favorite poster of all time,

'cause it was such
a big success.

My third thing.

I think it was...

Yeah, what was...

Angel in the Wings,

and I sang,
"Bongo, bongo, bongo.

"I don't want to leave
the Congo.

"Oh, no, no.

No, no, no."

Some outfit, eh?

And I made that into a lampshade
when the show closed.

♪ Good times and bum times ♪

♪ I've seen them all,
and, my dear ♪

♪ I'm still here ♪

Oh!

♪ Plush velvet sometimes ♪

♪ Sometimes just pretzels
and beer ♪

♪ But I'm here ♪

♪ I've stood on bread lines
with the best ♪

♪ Watched while the headlines
did the rest ♪

♪ In the Depression ♪

♪ Was I depressed? ♪

♪ Nowhere near ♪

♪ I met a big financier ♪

♪ So I'm here ♪

♪ Top billing Monday ♪

♪ Tuesday,
you're tourin' in stock ♪

♪ But I'm here ♪

♪ First, you're another
sloe-eyed vamp ♪

♪ Then someone's mother ♪

♪ Then you're camp ♪

♪ Then you career
from career to career ♪

♪ I'm almost through my memoirs,
and I'm here ♪

And the Emmy goes to...

Elaine Stritch,

Elaine Stritch at Liberty.

Oh, my God!

Listen!

No, that just takes time.

Listen to me!

I cannot tell you

what would've happened to me

if I couldn't have gotten out

what's inside of me tonight.

I don't know what
I would've done with it.

I-I try not to drink,
but, I...

And look at the company I'm in!

Just look at it!

I mean... and I'm so glad
none of them won!

I'm so glad...

None of them won!

I won, and I...

Listen.

I can hardly take a compliment.

I've got a problem.

Tonight, be my guest!

Are you crazy?

Now I know what it's like
to do someone's hair

while they're doing
the 100-yard dash.

Oh, really?
Very funny.

You do any solo work at all?

This is it, Elaine.

- This is it?
- Yeah.

You're fresh out of
"Book of fuckin' Norman"

or whatever the name
of that show is on Broadway

that's supposed to be
the best musical in the world!

You can't make fun of it
till you've seen it.

That's your story.

- Elaine.
- Hello, darling.

How you doing?

How's your blood sugar?

It's good.
Controlled.

Yeah?
What are you right now?

150. 152.

You are...

120.
Regular.

- That's pretty good.
- Yeah.

Now, what do you have every
night there at The Carlyle?

What are you having?

Uh, I have...

Caviar and toast points?

Oh, yeah.
No, no.

Get rid of that image.

I have salad.

Mm-hmm.

Okay?

Caesar, maybe?

Right.

And then I have
a half a English muffin

with maybe some tuna fish.

Is it a Bays English Muffin?

Of course.

Then I have a little sugar,

because I can't stand it
without it any longer.

Yeah.
Well, a little.

So I have what I call
spit-out food.

Chew it,

and then I spit half of it out.

- Like a sommelier.
- That's it.

Just swish it around
in your mouth and spit it out.

And it's fine, especially
when you're not married.

- You're a sugar sommelier.
- What?

"Especially
if you're not married."

Who are we waiting for?

Young Alec Baldwin.

Alec "Joan Crawford" Baldwin.

Hi, Joan.

Joan?

And, of course,

I'd love to have you
stay with me and Liddy.

"Liddy."
What a silly name.

Why... why couldn't you name
that baby after my mother?

Because at Ellis Island,

your mother's name was recorded
as "unclaimed Irish stowaway."

Oh, what?

Bags?

- And then bags, yeah.
- Go across frame?

- Yes.
- Okay.

So what?

Don't you last-word me, you.

It's my laugh line, you bitch.

What did he say?

- Michael!
- Yes, sir.

What did you say, Jack?

I said, "Don't you
last-word me, you bitch."

You're a dame.

You're a grande dame.

See you tomorrow.

All right, sweetheart.

Okay.

I'm very, very, very...

About show business.

Everybody is just...

loving everybody too much
for my money.

I don't distrust them.

I just...

There's an awful lot of talk.

Hold this.

Hold everything.

- What is this, your...
- Ooh, my God.

Is this your purse?

This is my purse, smart-ass.

Okay?

This could open a subject
that's kind of interesting.

I'll tell you in a minute.

Roberto, could I have a cosmos?

Cosmopolitan?

I'm having my one drink
of the day.

I'm an alcoholic...

a recovered alcoholic,

and I was sober for 24 years.

That's a long time.

And I decided,
because I'm well into my 80s,

that I would have
one drink a day,

see if I could handle it.

I was very curious.

This is right next
to my insulin.

Ah!

And this is what I have
in a day... no more.

One of those a day.

Yeah.

Here we are... old-fashioned,
with everything I found.

That's not a drink.
It's a joke!

Look at that.

- It's wonderful.
- My, my, my.

That's terrific.

Thank you very much.

This is the teaser of my opening
at The Carlyle, okay?

Okay, Rob.

Here's what this is.

God, I've lost track
of what the hell I'm doing.

I got a...
sort of a contract.

They've got the title:

Elaine Stritch Singin' Sondheim
One Song at a Time.

"It was nice to speak to you
again last night.

"As discussed,
we would like to offer you

"the following three-weeks run
at the Rrazz Room."

I love the name of that.

It just reminds me
of "pizzazz."

Don't you think you're awfully
close to me, Shane?

I mean, I don't know whether
this is a skin commercial

or what, but...

All right.

Let's go.

Here she is, boys!

Here she is, world!

Here's...

Rose.

♪ Hold your hats
and hallelujah ♪

♪ Mama's gonna show it to ya ♪

♪ Ready or not ♪

Shh!

♪ Here comes Mama ♪

♪ Mama's talkin' loud,
Mama's doin' fine ♪

♪ Mama's gettin' hot,
Mama's goin' strong ♪

Mama's...
got the stuff.

Mama's gotta move.

Mama's gotta go.

Mama's gotta...

Mama's lettin' go?

No!
Fuck!

I don't know why
this is happening.

Elaine, you want to take
your blood sugar?

No!

♪ Love is in the air ♪

Oh, okay.

I think we should.

Oh, my God.

Let me have some orange juice
right away.

Oy-yoy-yoy.

And the prunes,
wherever they are.

It's hard enough
to remember Sondheim's lyrics

when you don't have diabetes.

But...

Everybody's got a sack of rocks,

as my husband used to say.

One of the best lines
in the world.

Everybody should think of it.

Hold this here.

Hold this card here.

Now, only the numbers.

What's the lowest line that
you can read on the left side?

It's wonderful to be almost 87.

I'm telling you,
you can get away with murder.

3, 7...

When you're talking
to most people

who are aging gracefully,

they know something,

or they wouldn't
have gotten there.

Now what?

I like the courage of age.

And Bette Davis said it better
than anyone, you know?

Not for sissies.

Getting old is not for sissies.

Open wide now.

That's good.
Hold it right there.

And I never liked
the word "old."

I like "older."

I'm getting older
every single day,

and so is everybody else.

So we're all going together.

Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom.

And why not enjoy it?

'Cause there's not a goddamn
thing you can do about it.

♪ May be many other nights
like this ♪

Oh, here we go!

♪ But they won't thrill me
like yours used to do ♪

♪ Oh, I may dream
a million dreams ♪

♪ But how can they come true ♪

♪ If there will never,
ever be another you ♪

♪ An elevator man like you ♪

There we go.

Very good.
Very good.

I loved it!

Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

♪ Come on and dance with me ♪

- ♪ I hear singing ♪
- ♪ You don't need analyzin' ♪

- ♪ And there's no one there ♪
- ♪ It's not so surprisin' ♪

♪ I smell blossoms ♪

♪ That you feel
very strange but nice ♪

♪ And the trees are bare ♪

♪ All day long ♪

♪ Your heart
goes pitter-patter ♪

♪ I seem to walk on air ♪

♪ I know just
what's the matter ♪

♪ I wonder why ♪

♪ Because I've been there ♪

- ♪ I wonder why ♪
- ♪ Once or twice ♪

You never confuse
Elaine Stritch with anyone else.

She's too original.

First, there's just
the physical image...

you know, the legs
that go on for miles.

She is like an ostrich.

And those huge, huge eyes.

She's just got
that crazy directness

that just goes
right through you.

♪ There is nothing
you can take ♪

♪ Twinkle in the skies ♪

♪ To relieve a little bit
of that ache ♪

- ♪ Are twinkling in my eyes ♪
- ♪ You're not sick ♪

♪ You're just in love ♪
♪ I wonder why ♪

She's just truthful.

She's truthful in her acting,

and she's truthful...

On a personal level,
she's very, very truthful.

The first day that I rehearsed
with Elaine,

which was now 13 years ago,

she went,
"Now, listen right now.

"If we're gonna be simpatico,

"you got to be square with me.

"You got to be honest with me.

"No bullshit.

"No lies.

I have to be able to trust you,
and that takes work."

She told me one story where
she said she looked a director

in the eye and said, "You're
scared of me, aren't you?"

And I think there's that pursuit
to get at the thing

that is underneath the thing
that will illuminate a moment.

That pursuit
can produce madness,

can produce
a kind of irascibility,

can produce
a kind of narcissism,

but that's what drives her.

And what's my cue to talk?

That's all I want to know.

I need no justification!

That's right.

I feel like over the seven years

that we've been working
with her,

we know what to expect.

But we still are always like,

"Whew! Okay.
Here comes Elaine."

It's a bear.

We never know, do we, Tina?

And it's always worth it.

And there are very few people
who are worth that.

Can I ask you a question?

But I think Elaine
is a great role model.

She is confident and brassy

and stylish and gorgeous.

She doesn't wear pants,

and she lives the way
she wants to live.

She is the conduit to a time
that really was

the golden age of theater
in this country.

And she grew up out of that.

♪ The object of my affection
can change my complexion ♪

♪ From white to rosy red ♪

♪ Anytime he holds my hand ♪

♪ And tells me that he's mine ♪

I first met her at
a Sopranos premiere.

Somebody was behind me and said,

"I think you're wonderful."

And I turn around,
and I look down.

I said, "Thank you,"
and I turn back around.

And I heard,
"Don't condescend to me,

you son of a bitch!"

And I turned around,
and I looked at this little...

beautiful lady, and she, uh...

I don't know.

She gave me some diatribe
about something,

and I immediately fell in love
with her.

You know, she has
a certain kind of strength

and a bullshit meter.

And in my profession,
there's a lot of cynicism,

and, you know, sometimes
you think you're ridiculous,

putting on somebody else's
shirt and pants

and pretending to be somebody.

And then you run
into someone like her,

who reminds you
that it's a beautiful tradition,

and it's an art,

and it's really nice
to find that.

And if we both met
when we were 35,

I have no doubt that we would've
had a torrid love affair

which would've ended very badly.

♪ But the object
of my affection is mine ♪

♪ All mine ♪

You probably have
better pictures of them at home.

Oh, there's no better picture

of my mother and father
than that.

But I thought that was like...

they look like people
who would produce a performer.

They're singing...

♪ Honey, honey,
bless your heart ♪

♪ Honey that I love so well ♪

Some old song from years
and years ago.

♪ I dreamed last night while
stars were shining bright ♪

♪ Of my honey that I love ♪

♪ So well ♪

And there wasn't a dry eye
in the cocktail room.

You know what I mean?

Jesus.

They would break out into song
like that often?

Oh, yes, at a moment's notice.

Only took one martini apiece.

This is just there for obvious
entertainment purposes.

That's the date with Kennedy.

I met him at a cocktail party,
and I picked him up.

I went over and asked him if
I could go to dinner with him,

'cause he was too attractive
to leave behind.

And he said, "I'd love to."

And then he asked me out
the next night,

and that was the next night,
with his whole family.

So we had a good time,

but there was no action
after the second night.

And so he dropped me off.

I said, "Do you want
to come up for a nightcap?"

I didn't have anything in mind.

I had never slept
with anybody before.

I didn't know
how to handle that.

He said, "If coming up
for a nightcap means

"listening to
Glenn Miller records

"and eating scrambled eggs,

I'm not interested."

And I said,
"Well, that's what it means."

And he said, "So I'll kiss you
good night," and he did.

And he got back in the limo
and went away.

And I went up on the elevator,
and I said,

"That guy's going someplace

because he knows
how to lay it on the line."

And so do I!

So I don't know if you wanted
to include John's...

That's John, my husband,
as Groucho.

And he's a guy that looked
more like Jack Kennedy

than Groucho Marx.

He was a wonderful Groucho.

I thought you'd want
a picture of the two of you

together in the room,
so I pulled these two.

They're the best.

Yeah, there's John.
I love it.

Yeah, I liked that picture.

Yeah.

And this is when
I went to Chicago

to meet John's family.

And I was so glad to find out
that I could have muffins

all the rest of my life, right?

Bays English Muffins.

Everybody that gets them
in New York for Christmastime,

just remember.

I met John Bay in rehearsal
for a Tennessee Williams play.

I proposed to him,
and he said yes.

Well, he said...
in Jack Benny's voice, he said,

"Why not?"

He made me laugh,
and he made me feel everything,

and he made me
happy, happy, happy.

That's the closest person
I've ever been to

and the one I could trust
the most

and the one that I believed in
the most.

When the doctor called me
and told me he had cancer,

brain cancer...

I burst into a flood of tears
on the telephone.

You know those kind of tears
that if you ever reached

in a scene, you'd say,
"Oh, boy, that was good."

That's the way I cried
when John died.

And then I cried no more!

Now, I don't want an award
for this, but I said,

"I've got to get going
and see what I can find now."

'Cause I loved being married,

and I loved being in love,
and I loved all that.

"So where am I gonna find that
again?"

And I never did.

I never did.

Sebastian, darling,

tell me what time I can get
on the stage tomorrow.

Will you just be quiet
and let me ask you a question?

Hello!

Yes, I'm here!
Can I...

Oh.

Rob, I can't.
I just can't.

Talk to him.

Hey, Sebastian?

Casey Daisy Dukes!

Casey?

Casey, look at me
when I'm talking to you, boy.

Look how calm she is.

God, I wish I could have
Casey's personality.

Oh, come on!

Oh, it's the cops.

I'll limp.

Hold me.

What's the trouble?

Oh, it's a fire...

I-I-I don't know what to do.

I just came out of here.

It's just taking me so long.

Here.
Help me.

♪ See the pretty girl
in that mirror there ♪

♪ What mirror?
Where? ♪

♪ Who can that
attractive girl be? ♪

♪ Which? What? Where? Whom? ♪

♪ Such a pretty face,
such a pretty dress ♪

♪ Such a pretty smile,
such a pretty me ♪

♪ For I'm loved
by the likes of you ♪

♪ Boy, oh, boy ♪

Another likely target for Irene

is very vulnerable Long Island,

stretching eastward
from Manhattan.

Right now, Irene
is a category 3 hurricane...

Yeah.

And it could turn
into a category 4.

Yeah.

I think so too, Anne.
I do.

I think it would be much safer
in the city, so...

Elaine?

Yeah, darling.

Good morning.

I'm gonna get up
in a little bit.

Okay.
I just...

I'll call you.

Okeydoke.

I have some news for you.

Oh.
What?

They canceled the show tomorrow.

You're kidding.

No.

Do we get paid?

You're not kidding me, are you?

No, I'm not.

Oh!

Brava!

I don't know.

Sometimes you get a break, eh?

Because I don't feel very good.

I mean, I do,
but I don't, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, I'll sleep
a little bit more,

and then I'll call you
on your cell.

All right.

Check in in a bit.

Right.

I need him right now!

I can't take five minutes!

I can't help it!

He's got to come now!

Tell him, please!

Okay.
I'm gonna call him.

Here, drink this.
This is good.

All right.

It's good.

No, but we got
some orange juice.

Tell Dr. Glick
I'm getting scared.

It's okay.

You're gonna be okay.

Where's... where's, um...

Julie?

She's at the drugstore.

Prunes?

All the machines...
three glucose meters...

none of them work.

I think you should come.

Where is Dr. Glick?

I think...

- Elaine?
- What?

Here.
Let's go this way.

Let's go this way.
Elaine, this way.

Let's go back.
Here we go.

It's glucose,
and I'm on with Dr. Glick.

Oh, I'm scared!
I don't know...

No, this is good.

This is what we need.

This is food.
Mwah.

I can't put that in my mouth.

It's hurting me.

I can't put that in my mouth!

Then we got to call
the paramedics.

No!

- We're staying here.
- Yeah.

And waiting for Dr. Glick.

Where's the help... hope...

Good help...
show me this...

Yes.

Dr. Glick is on his way.

We're good, Elaine.

I lost my speech.

And that is scary.

I'm in an ambulance,
and I can't talk English,

but I'm perfectly savvy.

I know exactly who I am.

I know where I live.

I know where I'm going.

And I know I'm alone.

And it doesn't...
I don't get scared.

I just get determined
to get out of there.

And I think it was because
I've got so much on my plate.

I've got so much in my future.

And this got...
I...

This is me.

I'm yelling at the paramedics,

and they're going, "Of course,"

you know,
and giving me that shit.

Lap dissolve.

I'm in there for two days,
in the hospital.

Now, the point of the story is,

here's my decision

for the rest of my life.

"What are you doing
the rest of your life?"

I'm not drinking,

because it's too much
of a chance,

and it's not worth it.

Okay.

My music director, Rob Bowman,

said the sweetest thing to me
the other day.

He said,

"I'm gonna cut out...

my couple of drinks too."

And I know that was, uh...

His feelings for me.

I know that's true,
and that helps.

All of that helps.

But this has been a big week
in my life,

and I've got a lot of work
ahead of me,

and I'm a little bit scared.

What scares you the most?

What scares me the most?

Drinking.

Just drinking.

'Cause it's such an escape.

It's such a warm,
inviting heaven.

You want to go with me?

Have you ever been
to an AA meeting?

I go to meetings
mostly to keep my mind sharp,

because it's a great
learning experience.

It's not all about not drinking.

It's all about getting smart.

We go further.

I was living in Sag Harbor,

and I had decided
that I had to stop drinking.

So I went into an AA meeting.

I walked into the meeting,

and I sat down
next to this woman.

She kept getting my attention.

She was using
a hypodermic needle.

She was eating cereal.

She had this tam on

and these shorts
that were about that long.

And I'm sitting there,

and she turned my head
by my own cheek,

and she said, "Wow.

"If you weren't so bloated
and bright red,

you wouldn't be
half-bad looking."

And I thought, "Oh, my God.

I am so out of here."

And just as I'm going
to open the door

to leave the building,

she turns, and she goes,
"Hey. Hey, you.

Can you give me a ride home?"

And I'm like,
"Who is this person?"

Then she goes, "You're gonna
pick me up at 3:00.

I need decaf Diet Coke."

And she goes, "And I want you
to clean this car."

And I didn't know what to do.

So I went home, and I came back,
and I picked her up.

Okay, kid.

She's so alluring

that I didn't want
to be away from her.

but, you know,
there were tasks involved.

The GPS...

I want some more
air-conditioning

in this freakin' car.

All righty.

"Now, Julie..."

Now, Julie, do as you're told.

She is a Molotov cocktail
of madness, sanity, and genius.

What's this?

- More chiffon.
- All right.

Get it out of there,
and put it in this...

you know what I mean.

I adore her
on 100 different levels.

I don't think I'd be sober
if I had never met her.

They're dedicating
a rehearsal studio to her

down at the Stella Adler Studio,

and so she's gonna choose
photos and documents

of what's gonna go
into the studio.

Where's that Ellen?

Hi, darling.
I feel lousy.

Oh.
What's the matter?

I know.

I was in the hospital
last night.

No kidding.
What's the matter?

Yeah.
God, that's pretty.

You look terrific!

What's pretty, the beads?

Hi, sweetheart.

Yeah, I was...
Hello, darling.

Hello, hello, hello.

Diabetes attack.

Oh, yeah.
You have that, yeah.

You look good.

Your hair looks good
for a change.

You want to come see the space?

Yes!

Come on.
Should we take...

Yes.

Wherever, wherever.

Elevator.

I'll handle these ruffians!

Now, look you here, fellow!

Is that... what is that?

They're rehearsing
Light Up the Sky.

Oh. Oh!
This is terrific!

This is you.

This room is terrific.

This is Elaine.

This is Elaine Stritch.

This would be it, Elaine.

This is the Elaine Stritch
studio or rehearsal hall

or whatever you want it to be.

Yeah.
Whatever.

We thought this wall would...

Yeah.

And posters and photographs
and shows and quotes.

Anything.

Anything that would make you
comfortable.

Yeah.

I think this is too big,
Ellen, don't you?

I think it's too big.

I think it's calling
too much attention

to Elaine Stritch
at this school.

Yes, I was a student,
yes, of Stella's,

and I'm known here,

and it's a nice honor
and all that.

but it should be nice, little.

Oh, yeah.
Much better.

Yeah, there's a little bit
more wall space over here.

Oh, my God!

Look at the size of...
it's too big.

Yeah.

No, but I think this is too big.

Okay.

This is a smaller space.

I think this is more
the size room I should have.

I like this room too.

- I love this room.
- The Elaine Stritch, yeah.

- I like this too.
- I think this is awfully nice.

Good workspace.

This is the play
that I was sacked from,

Woman Bites Dog,

and Kirk was the leading man.

Why'd you get sacked from it?

Because I wasn't ready
to get on a stage.

And we had no director.

I was too young, you know,

a graduate of the Sacred Heart
Convent, and a virgin.

Do you remember
what it felt like to be sacked?

Well, I found out
what it was like to be sacked

when Kirk Douglas
is in love with you...

or says he is or thinks he is.

It made it a lot easier.

I love this picture.

And that's one
of my favorite leading men,

was the gay dancer
underneath the bear costume.

Goldilocks was a bomb,
but I did my best,

and I got an awful lot
of attention

and won my part
with Noel Coward.

He came up to Philadelphia
to see me

and went out and said,
"The book is not very good.

"The score is not very good.

"The leading lady is terrific,

"and she's in tears
in her dressing room.

Something is wrong."

And he went home,
and he wrote a musical for me.

That was a huge success.

Now, if that isn't a fairy tale,
I'll eat one.

Opening night of Sail Away,

Noel Coward and Vivien Leigh.

This is the beginning
of the best years of my life.

♪ You're getting to be
a habit with me ♪

That was Two's Company,

the bang, smash hit in London.

Oh, this is a wonderful picture.

Oh, why didn't I know enough
to just stay with him

and be content?

He was in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,

and I was in Bus Stop,

and we were madly in love.

And we were gonna finally meet
the pope,

see if we could get a divorce
from his first wife

so we could get married.

But by that time, I had
a sneaker for Rock Hudson,

'cause I wasn't ready
to get married, you know?

I had people to meet,
places to go, you know?

Did you get it?

Yes, sir.

I ran the blockade.

Now, turn away.

I'm over 21.

Here.

It's a pity.

They were very becoming.

Mm-hmm.

Now, don't let Van Campen
catch you guzzling on that.

We'll both get life.

Did you find out anything
about Miss Barkley?

Yes.

Yes, indeedy.

What?
What'd you find out?

Oh, look at him:
The bedridden Romeo.

Okay.

Oh, no.
That's a lot.

It's a letter I thought
the students would like.

"I am delighted
that you are considering

doing the role of 'Diane,
the mother, ' in my next film."

"There are a few things
you should know."

You read it.
I'm tired.

All right.

"First and most important,
a number of admirers of yours

"have said you are brilliant
but difficult to work with.

"If this is remotely so,

"I should know before
we start shooting so that things

"will not come to a sudden,
awkward, premature end.

"I never spend much time
discussing character motivations

"or the zillion other details

"that some actors need
to fuss over.

"For the duration
of the shooting,

"you would have
to totally trust me,

"wear the costumes
and makeup I choose,

"and keep the questioning
to a rock-bottom minimum.

"I would be thrilled
to see you do this part.

"Anyhow, whatever you decide,
I'll remain a great fan.

Best, Woody."

♪ Love is in the air ♪

♪ Quite clearly,
people everywhere ♪

♪ Act queerly ♪

♪ Wives are at
their husbands' service ♪

♪ Virgins are
distinctly nervous ♪

♪ Love is goin' around ♪

I know her energy is there,

but I also know her fears
are very real right now.

She's fighting
not to have it defeat her.

I'm really concerned about it,
and I'm scared about it.

We've got five or six cities
coming up in the fall,

and so far, we're doing them.

♪ Love is around ♪

No shit!

♪ It's going around ♪

Okay, that's it.

I can't do any more.

Ow.

My muffins are here!

My muffins.

I'm gonna do this again.

You should be
following me around.

I'm just watching you right now.

I know, but I'm not here.

I'm out there.

I think you should be
watching me unpack the muffins,

put them outside...

I'll get closer, then.

Yeah, but...

All I'm saying,
I went out here...

Mm-hmm.

And you weren't following me.

Well, it was what we call
a clean exit.

I don't want it to be a clean...

I want to be putting my stuff
out in the hotel living!

Let's do it again.

Well, absolutely!

Okay, so, then,
what would you like me to do?

I want you to...
You were fine here.

You were on me.

And I'm unpacking the muffins.

Da, di-da, di-da, di-da.

Now I do here.

I take the muffin box,
and I set it outside.

It's all part of my routine
here in the...

Okay.

You know what I'm saying, honey?

I don't think you do, but...

And I'm sorry to be
such a pain in the ass.

If you're putting the muffin
box outside, I'll film that.

All right.
Should we start right from here?

- Yes.
- Okay, good.

Look here.

Come on.

Perfect.

I got to know Elaine really well

when George Furth wrote
one of the leading roles

in Company for her.

Okay.

The Ladies Who Lunch, take one.

♪ And here's to the girls
who just watch ♪

♪ Aren't they the best? ♪

♪ When they get depressed,
it's a bottle of Scotch ♪

♪ Plus a little jest ♪

She's this convent girl

whose uncle was a cardinal
in Chicago.

She's irreverent,
and she's feisty.

Well, she's got the guts
of a jailbird.

But, really, what makes her
so interesting

is that the convent girl
is still there, always.

♪ Another reason not to move ♪

♪ Another vodka stinger ♪

Your tendency might be,
if you didn't know her,

to disregard how...

Vulnerable she is and how deep
her insecurities are.

♪ I'm just screaming ♪

It's too early to scream.

You're screaming
because you know

that your voice is tired,

and you're trying to make up
in power.

Yeah, but I've always
done that, Steve,

'cause I've always had
dumb material.

So now I got good material,

and I can afford
to go backwards.

It's not so much
that my voice is tired.

♪ Here's to the girls ♪

I just want you to listen.

♪ Aren't they a gas? ♪

♪ Rushing to their classes
in optical art ♪

♪ Wishing it would pass ♪

I can take this all down.

♪ Another long, exhausting day ♪

See, I'm just proving
every point.

Wrong!

♪ A matinee, a Pinter play ♪

♪ Perhaps a piece of Mahler's ♪

Oh, shut up!

She's complicated,
and she's an eccentric.

But you've got to deal
with Elaine's eccentricities,

because, ultimately,
they're worth it.

♪ Let's hear it
for the ladies who lunch ♪

♪ Everybody rise ♪

♪ Rise ♪

♪ Rise, rise ♪

♪ Rise ♪

- Oh, perfect!
- That's great!

That's one hell of a good take.

Wrap it up!

Do you know the song?

It's when she says...

♪ Some people got it
and make it pay ♪

♪ Some people can't even
give it away ♪

♪ This people's got it ♪

♪ And this people's spreading
it around ♪

♪ You either have it ♪

She's starting to do this,
but it's not on any beat.

- Uh-huh.
- So if you can just...

Can you just look there
and take it on a visual,

if she does a bump?

Like a... just a crash?

Just, like, a bass drum.

A bass... okay.

Boom.

- Should we just play this down?
- Yeah.

Really bite into these, guys!

This is dictated!

♪ This time, boys,
I'm taking the bows, and ♪

Oh!

- In the bathroom, right?
- On the left!

All right, all right,
all right, all right.

Wrong teeth?

Are you fucking kidding me?

She has the wrong teeth.

Okay.
This isn't funny.

I got to get my shit together.
It's five to.

Yeah, that's it.

All right.
I'm gonna go.

Thanks, guys.

I get a little squeaky in
my tummy before I go onstage...

So I always have a swig
of Fernet Branca,

which is an Italian liqueur.

It's a panacea.

It settles your stomach.

Oh, dear.

- Rob!
- Three, four!

Let's start at the beginning.

Sondheim, Sondheim, Sondheim.

From Follies.

♪ The road you didn't take ♪

♪ Hardly comes to mind ♪

♪ Does it? ♪

♪ The door you didn't try ♪

♪ Where would it have led? ♪

♪ The choice you didn't make ♪

♪ Never was defined ♪

♪ Was it? ♪

♪ Dreams you didn't dare
are dead ♪

♪ Were they ever there? ♪

♪ Who said? ♪

♪ I don't remember ♪

♪ I don't remember at all ♪

♪ The books I'll never read ♪

♪ Wouldn't help at all ♪

♪ Would they? ♪

♪ The boys I'll never know ♪

♪ I'm too tired for ♪

- "The lives."
- Sing it!

♪ The lives I'll never lead ♪

Sing it, Rob!

♪ Could they? ♪

Chances that you miss...

Sing it, or you're fired!

♪ Chances that you miss ♪

♪ Ignore ♪

♪ Ignorance is bliss ♪

♪ What's more ♪

♪ You won't remember ♪

♪ You won't remember at all ♪

♪ Not at all ♪

Oh, no, wait till you hear
what the next line...

The next line is this.

The next line is,
"Isn't this terrific?"

I mean, my standing up here,

I'm right where I should be.

I'm up here, and I'm being given
the opportunity

to sing one glorious
Sondheim song after another,

and I'm happy about it.

If I forget my lyrics,

fuck it!

I'm happy!
I'm happy!

I'm happy I'm singing
these songs.

She's been through it all.

And you see her struggle,

but you see her make it through
to the other side.

There's just something
truly beautiful in that,

and that's real.

The day I forget your name,
we close.

I'd rather see that
every night, 'cause I relate,

and I don't know
who couldn't relate to that.

♪ Everything's coming up rose ♪

♪ Everything's coming up roses ♪

♪ Everything's coming up roses ♪

♪ And this time, for me ♪

No, no, no, no, no...
for me!

That's it...
for me!

Hold it for me!

For me!

♪ For ♪

♪ Me ♪

This time, for me!

This morning, I felt good,
physically.

I had a wonderful night's sleep,

and I got up, and I think,
"Oh, I can do this forever."

That isn't true.

I'm heading right into 87.

Come on, Elaine.

I'm thinking of bowing out.

It's, um, "So long, city,"
you know?

It's like, "I'm out of here."

It's like,
"I'm not gonna work anymore."

♪ Don't think I'll look
for work today again ♪

♪ I used to look for jobs
most now and then ♪

♪ Now, it's not the lookin'
worries me ♪

♪ I'm scared
somebody's gonna hire me ♪

The kind of retirement
I'm talking about

is, we might do
one more club act,

because we have in mind a writer
that I'd like to do...

And his name is...

Elton John.

I dig him.

What Elton John song
would you sing?

Oh, we've got a bunch of them.

Name some of them, Rob.

Your favorite was
The Bitch Is Back.

Oh, yeah.
That's the opening number.

Oh, I'm so glad we're back.

And I... this is the toughest show
I've ever done in my life.

They love you.

We'll follow you anywhere.

♪ And walk on air ♪

♪ Shall we give in ♪

♪ Shall we visit? ♪

♪ To despair? ♪

Here.
Where are you?

♪ Or shall we dance
with never a care? ♪

♪ Never a care,
whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Life is short ♪

♪ Life is short ♪

♪ We're growing older ♪

♪ We're growing older ♪

♪ Don't you be ♪

♪ Don't you be ♪

I hope I've got
enough basic surety...

Mm-hmm.

To celebrate the
feeling kind of crazy, you know?

But I want to remember my words.

We got to just trust all those
hours of rehearsal, right?

That's right.

That's what we got to do.

That's what we got to do,

and do it for Detroit.

That's where we are.

Let's not forget them.

Good luck, sweetheart.

- We ready?
- We're ready.

- Yeah.
- Ready?

- Yes!
- Let's hit it.

Go get 'em, Rocky!

God's loving arms
are 'round about me.

God's precious wisdom guides me.

God's sheltering love
protects me.

God alone governs man
and every fucking situation.

Right?

Elaine Stritch!

Oh, mother.

I have no idea what I'm doing...

But it'll come.

It'll come,
because I know I'm home.

I don't come home
that often, really.

Sometimes it goes over a year.

There's something nice about it,

and there's something sad
about it.

I don't know.

I've lost both my sisters,

one at 92, one at 91.

When things would go wrong,

Georgine or Sally
would be there.

And that's
your immediate family.

I like that expression...
the immediate family.

You know what
that's always meant to me?

They're available.

So do you!

Jane!

Hello!

- Max!
- How are you?

Come in, come in, come in,
come in, come in.

You know,
I was just a little girl.

Yeah.

And Mother told me
to amuse myself.

She wouldn't let me in.

You know, she was so mean
about shit like that.

Oh, yeah?

She said, you know,
"Play with your...

"Do whatever you...

"I don't want to be bothered
with you now.

I'm busy."

So I'm out there all by myself.

It's summer,

and I killed enough flies
to spell my name.

Is that the scariest thing
you've ever heard in your life?

It explains a lot.

I'm doing my billing...

at 7:00...

with dead flies.

You should've done it
with fireflies!

- You could've been in lights!
- Yeah.

A corner right here, so it's...

No, but it looks chunkier
or something.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Spirit Airlines would like
to welcome you

to New York's LaGuardia,
where the local time is 5:22.

I feel better when I work.

You're protected in the theater

with prosceniums and escape

and this wonderful, big stage

and all those people
you entertain.

It's terrific.
It's terrific.

I did Virginia Woolf
on Broadway.

When we had our big fights,

when he yelled at me

and he screamed,

"Our son is dead!
Our"...

And he screamed it in my face,

and for the first time
in my life, I had an orgasm.

See, I'm not surprised that
that was her first orgasm.

This is what interests me.

Elaine's got something
authentic about her.

She does.
She just does.

She's conscious of how
she comes across, but...

she still doesn't hide herself.

That's the difference with her.

Other people, they're conscious
of how they come...

They're out there;
They're doing it.

But they're very...

They're protecting themselves.

They're like a turtle,
with, like, a big shell.

She doesn't have the shell.

She, like, takes the shell off.
She has no problem.

It's obvious.

I'm dealing now,
with the age I'm getting to,

of being so long in the theater,

that how is...

how is the end of pretend
gonna be?

How's it gonna be?

How am I gonna get along
with that?

And it scares the shit
out of me.

The fear is all part
of the excitement.

There's something exciting
about being afraid.

Yeah.

Elaine, how are you?

All the better for seeing you.

Just proud to be here.

Okay.

All right,
what do you want me to do, Rob?

Just a little bit.
Just a couple.

'Cause I just...
You know, it's up for grabs.

I'll do the best I can.

Yup.
Us too.

Let's just do
a little I Feel Pretty, guys.

♪ I feel dizzy ♪

♪ I feel sunny ♪

♪ I feel fizzy and funny
and fine ♪

♪ And so pretty
that I hardly can... ♪

No, that...

♪ Miss America can just resign ♪

♪ I feel... ♪

Oh, Rob.

We're right behind you.

♪ I feel pretty ♪

♪ Oh, so pretty ♪

♪ I feel pretty and witty
and bright ♪

♪ And so ♪

And I pity!

Fuck!

I just feel totally lost.

You never know.

I may be all right.
I may not.

I don't think there's any point
in doing any more.

It's just making me
more nervous.

That's it?

Yeah.
Sorry.

Listen, everybody.

I need all the help
I can get tonight.

I'm just cuckoo.

What is the closest
I've been to this?

Oh, you mean like
how many seats in the house?

Come on.
I've done this on the stage.

I don't know.

Okay.

- Break a leg.
- Here we go!

- We're ready.
- What time is it?

It's 8:05.

Please welcome the ferocious,
the wonderful,

the legendary Elaine Stritch.

I feel pretty.

Oh, so pretty.

♪ I feel pretty and witty
and bright ♪

♪ And I pity any girl
who isn't me tonight ♪

♪ I feel charming ♪

♪ Oh, so charming ♪

♪ It's alarming ♪

♪ How charming I feel ♪

♪ And so pretty ♪

♪ That I hardly can believe
I'm real ♪

♪ See the pretty girl
in that mirror there ♪

♪ Who can
that attractive girl be? ♪

♪ Such a pretty face,
such a pretty dress ♪

♪ Such a pretty smile,
such a pretty ♪

Me!

♪ I feel ♪

Dizzy!

♪ I feel sunny ♪

- Ready?
- Yep.

I remember on the opening night

of Elaine Stritch at Liberty,

George Grizzard
came up to me and said,

"Thanks for creating a vehicle
that allows no other actress

"to get in the way
of Elaine Stritch's

love relationship
with an audience."

I can't wait to finish
this show.

I didn't know I was gonna feel
this strongly about it.

And that's why I named it
"One Song at a Time."

But it turned out
I had to do them all

in the same night...

And it has practically left me
out of my effing mind.

Of course I appreciate Sondheim!

Of course I read his lyrics.

Of course I say,
"How does he know that?

"How does he know
what I'm thinking?

"How does he know
what I'm fighting in life?

How does he know it?"

And he just does.

And I came back
to The Carlyle Hotel,

and I said
in our rehearsal room...

which is somebody's suite
while they're out to lunch...

She is a brilliant storyteller,

and she just knows how
to connect with this audience

by reaching
for the emotional truth.

That's what acting is
at its most exalted.

She conveys the one thing
that I subscribe to:

That you must find a way

to invest in the performance,

and that is, that there's
no place else you'd rather be.

You know, when Elaine
comes onstage, she's...

There's almost
like a hostess quality.

You know, "Here you are with me,

and I'm gonna give you
your money's worth," you know?

And she does.

And as demanding
as Elaine can seem...

You can never say
that Elaine is guilty

of not giving onscreen

or onstage.

Chiemi, it's Rob.

I found out this morning,

Elaine was taken
to the hospital,

the middle of the night,
around 4:00 a.m.

Don't really know that much
information at this time.

Right now,
she's just being taken care of

but basically
just under sedation, and...

I don't know.

Who's gettin' pretty?

Hi.
Hi, darling.

I'll see you in the morning.

You're coming in tomorrow?

- Yes, I'll be here.
- Oh, good.

- Take care.
- All right.

Bye-bye, honey.

You have to do my hair too.

Okay.

I've just spent seven...

I don't know how many days
in the hospital.

And I'll probably cry now,

but that's okay.

It's time for me.

I can feel it...

everywhere.

It's not all bad.

A lot of it is...

pleasant.

And it's so...

To picture...

Well...

Even, I mean, to imagine,
in any way...

Nothing...

I don't want that.

God, I hope that doesn't happen.

This is the time of my life
where I'm gonna behave

like an elegant human being...

or not.

Because I can be

a lot of things.

I've got to start
spending time and attention

to looking out for,

as my mother used to say,

"The picture
you're going to leave."

Oh, God.

See, I've never been interested

in the picture
that I'm going to leave.

Except big-time.

And that's the one I left...

On the Music Box Theater

or the Shubert Theater,
you know?

What I needed...

Were those people looking up,

up at me.

Damn fools.

But, I mean, there they were.

Their love for me
was what I needed.

I couldn't get it anyplace else.

And the love meaning
to respect myself,

I couldn't find it.

And it was just
at the time of my life,

when I'm about to be 87.

And it's time for me
to think very seriously...

About going home.

Wherever that is.

♪ Gee, I'd like to be ♪

♪ On some marquee ♪

♪ All twinklin' lights ♪

♪ A spark ♪

♪ To pierce the dark ♪

♪ From Battery Park ♪

♪ To Washington Heights ♪

♪ Someday, maybe ♪

♪ All my dreams will be repaid ♪

♪ Heck, I'd even play the maid ♪

♪ To be in a show ♪

I just think the money
is ridiculous.

If I can get him up
from a dollar and a half...

All right.
Bye.

Oh!

Except two are the same.

Take back one, or...

No, this is great,
if the review's in it.

If otherwise,
I'll bring it back to you.

Have a good night, ma'am.
Thank you.

Okay, darling.
Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- Oh.

You know,
I haven't got anything.

That's fine!

I'll take care of you later
on the elevator!

All right.

Why couldn't you name
the baby after my mother?

Because at Ellis Island,

your mother's name
was recorded as...

That's my voice.

"Though it still has
its amusing moments, 30 Rock,

NBC, 8:30 E-T-A-T"...

Then it's a lot of letters.

"Is feeling fairly worn out
these days.

"Even so,
it's worth watching tonight

"just for the return

"of one of the show's
best guests,

Broadway great Elaine Stritch
as Jack's mother."

Yay.

Isn't that terrific?

The arthritis is gone.

Right?

There's only one reason
I came to New York,

and that's because Gunga Din
here takes my insurance!

So you were planning
on never telling me

you were having heart surgery?

I just wanted
to make you proud of me.

That's all I ever wanted.

If I've ever had any success
in this life,

it's because of you.

Aw.

I made this happen!

Should've had a hug there.

And I will love you
no matter what.

You'd know;
You lived through it.

Aw!

Oh, the hug finally came!

Ow!

I did this!

That's good!

Oops!

This is somebody saying
they liked it.

This is good.

Yeah, I think so too.

Oh, darling.

Dying is easy.
Comedy is hard.

Yeah!
Yeah!

I thought so too.

Yes.

Yeah.

I thought it was okay.

Every once in a while,

I get this swoop-over thing

about this being
the end of my life.

A kind of a,
"My God..."

It's almost post time...

to leave the building.

And you think, "Oh..."

♪ This is the beginning
of the end ♪

♪ I can feel it in my bones ♪

You know,
it's just gettin' late!

It's nothing sad.

Nothing negative.

Nothing, "Oh..."

No!

It's gettin' there!

And I just pray that I can be...

At least amusing about it.

♪ Everybody says don't,
everybody says don't ♪

♪ Everybody says don't,
it isn't right ♪

♪ Don't, it isn't nice ♪

♪ Everybody says don't,
everybody says don't ♪

♪ Everybody says
don't step on the grass ♪

♪ Don't disturb the peace ♪

♪ Don't skate on the ice ♪

Oh, listen!

♪ I say do ♪

♪ I say ♪

♪ Walk on the grass ♪

♪ It was meant to feel ♪

If somebody said,
"What do you want

on a desert island
for the rest of your life?"

No contest.

A bar.
An open bar.

Are you kidding?

Make me a cosmopolitan.

A cosmo?
Yes.

But don't put it
in that goofy cocktail.

I stopped drinking for 22 years,

and since this
last hospital experience,

I'm slowing down a little bit.

But to sit down
and have one drink,

it relaxes me.

It takes the fear of diabetes
out of me.

Here's to looking up
your old address.

All I want... I'm this little
old lady who lives on the hill

here at the corner room
at The Carlyle;

I just want a drink a day.

I don't want to get drunk.

I don't want to cause
any trouble.

I don't want to say, "Fuck,"
you know?

I just want to have a drink
a day.

Anybody mind?

Voila, ma'am.

Oh!

I want to do what I want to do.

I don't want to make
any more sacrifices.

♪ Sometimes,
you gotta start small ♪

♪ Climbing the tiniest wall ♪

♪ Maybe you're going to fall ♪

♪ But it's better
than not starting at all ♪

♪ Everybody says don't,
everybody says can't ♪

♪ Everybody says wait around
for miracles ♪

♪ That's the way the world
is made ♪

♪ I insist on miracles ♪

♪ And if you do them ♪

♪ Miracles,
there is nothin' to them ♪

♪ I say don't ♪

♪ Don't be afraid ♪

♪ What about everybody,
never mind everybody ♪

♪ What about you? ♪

♪ Don't you say don't ♪

"Had Elaine Stritch sung
I'm Still Here at Café Carlyle

"on Tuesday night,
it would've seemed redundant.

"The mere presence of this
lean, glaring lion of a woman

"said everything
about resilience,

"feisty determination,
and the will to continue.

"Almost any other performer

"would probably
throw in the towel,

"but a trouper grits her teeth
and plunges ahead,

"trusting in
her survival instincts

"to carry her
through any crisis.

"That is exactly
what Ms. Stritch did,

"to wild acclaim.

"A gift Ms. Stritch gave
to her audience was her smile.

"As it spread across her face,

"the thunder, lightning,
and rain withdrew.

"The sun beamed down,

and you are in the calm eye
of the storm."

Yes.

Well, Chris, you know

I want it to happen
within the next year.

I want out of New York.

I do.
I want out.

You know?

How many years ago?

Uh...

About 65 years ago, I wanted in.

And I swung that.

"Can't say"...

My nephew just said,

"You can't say
you didn't give it a chance."

♪ I was justified
when I was five ♪

Careful!

You son of a bitch.

Whoo!

♪ Times are changin',
now the poor get fat ♪

Bye-bye.

♪ When the bitch gets back ♪

♪ Oh-oh-ah ♪

♪ Eat meat on a Friday,
that's all right ♪

♪ I even like steak
on a Saturday night ♪

Oh, for heaven's sake!

It's a good-looking house.

Is this, like, an attic?

Oh, that's a closet.

Another one.

All right.
Let's go.

♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch,
oh, the bitch is back ♪

♪ Stone-cold sober,
as a matter of fact ♪

♪ I can bitch, I can bitch,
'cause I'm better than you ♪

♪ It's the way that I move ♪

♪ The things that I do,
oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ You are ♪

♪ The best thing that ever has ♪

♪ Happened to me ♪

♪ You are ♪

This is the audience.

This is why my life
is about the audience.

Okay.

♪ Then one of the best things ♪

♪ That ever has happened to me ♪

So the other thing
is Gandolfini.

That's what I rep...
you see what I mean?

♪ You are ♪

♪ They say we all find love ♪

♪ And, uh, I never bought it ♪

♪ I never thought
this could happen to me ♪

This much good
could happen to me.

♪ Who could foresee? ♪

♪ You are the goddamnedest thing
that has happened to me ♪

Ever.

♪ When will I let this much
happiness happen to me? ♪

♪ Never ♪

I can't believe it's true.

♪ So all I can do ♪

♪ Is be the best thing ♪

Well, tonight, anyway.

♪ That has happened ♪

♪ To ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Or am I ♪

♪ Losing ♪

♪ My ♪

♪ Mind? ♪

And that's the end of, uh,
Nanette Fabray.

That's the end of...

What's her name?

- Rob!
- Yeah?

What's her name?

Bernadette Peters.

Bernadette!

I was calling her
Nanette Fabray.

Oh, okay.

That'll go over big.

Don't cut that.

I want her to see that.