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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,032 --> 00:00:23,032 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:29,579 --> 00:00:32,749 Deep in the woods a nymph did lay, 3 00:00:32,817 --> 00:00:35,019 a thousand years well hidden. 4 00:00:36,686 --> 00:00:38,722 Until a knight dared one day 5 00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:42,894 to claim his prize forbidden. 6 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,798 Come midnight in the forest deep the maiden he embraced, 7 00:00:46,864 --> 00:00:49,934 awakened from her timeless sleep, 8 00:00:50,001 --> 00:00:52,904 pure blood she had to taste. 9 00:00:54,939 --> 00:00:57,141 This was not just a fleeting whim, 10 00:00:57,208 --> 00:00:59,844 more than a kiss she stole. 11 00:00:59,911 --> 00:01:03,647 The breath of life she took from him, 12 00:01:03,713 --> 00:01:06,818 for she was but... a troll! 13 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,621 The troll had magic powers, 14 00:01:11,688 --> 00:01:14,091 and he changed shape at will. 15 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:16,828 And at the solstice hour, 16 00:01:16,894 --> 00:01:19,663 began to show his skill. 17 00:01:19,729 --> 00:01:22,934 My, who are you? A silly green munchkin? 18 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,970 Amei, omown, youmou, nomow! 19 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,415 My book of magic! 20 00:01:39,884 --> 00:01:41,718 This way with you! 21 00:01:41,786 --> 00:01:43,888 After her! She's fleeing! 22 00:01:47,490 --> 00:01:49,160 Hurry. 23 00:01:49,227 --> 00:01:51,829 - There she is! - She's getting away! 24 00:01:51,896 --> 00:01:54,899 Time is of the essence. Make haste. 25 00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:57,701 Move thy buttocks! 26 00:01:57,768 --> 00:02:00,004 I'd rather shake your buttocks, my mistress! 27 00:02:00,071 --> 00:02:02,840 There! There! 28 00:02:02,907 --> 00:02:05,042 There she is! Get the witch! 29 00:02:11,182 --> 00:02:13,784 Kill her! She's over there. She's a witch! 30 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,554 Circle around the back! 31 00:02:19,824 --> 00:02:21,859 Oh, George Hardy's in this movie! 32 00:02:21,926 --> 00:02:24,161 Don't get too close. She's a witch! 33 00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:32,169 If you get her, kill her. 34 00:03:06,703 --> 00:03:09,606 So, we finally arrived at our destination. 35 00:03:10,975 --> 00:03:14,245 My pungent youngling. 36 00:03:14,312 --> 00:03:17,048 And is it really exotic techniques of copulating 37 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:20,918 that are written down in there, my little loved mistress? 38 00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:22,053 Indeed! 39 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:26,190 You, my dear, you just wait and see. 40 00:03:26,257 --> 00:03:30,627 And we will be making nooky all night. 41 00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:36,733 Here we go. 42 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,571 I am the Great Book of Magic. 43 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,141 My sleep is over. Oh, how tragic. 44 00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:46,210 A stupid laugh! 45 00:03:46,277 --> 00:03:48,045 Oh, yes, touch me. 46 00:03:48,112 --> 00:03:52,083 Oh, great book of spells and wizardry, 47 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:56,220 show the answers and give advice to me. 48 00:03:56,287 --> 00:04:00,557 How can I open the gate of the worlds? 49 00:04:00,623 --> 00:04:05,162 Wake up and give me the enchanted words. 50 00:04:05,229 --> 00:04:06,964 To open the portal 51 00:04:07,031 --> 00:04:08,966 listen right. 52 00:04:09,033 --> 00:04:11,769 It must occur on solstice night. 53 00:04:11,836 --> 00:04:16,240 Only blood of a dunce, virgin and pure, 54 00:04:16,307 --> 00:04:20,344 will reveal the words, that is for sure. 55 00:04:20,411 --> 00:04:22,712 Do you know what that means? 56 00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:24,581 Shouldn't we give each other a kiss 57 00:04:24,647 --> 00:04:27,118 to start my arousing process? 58 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,653 I don't like foreplay. 59 00:04:34,792 --> 00:04:37,094 - Torture her! - Kill the witch. 60 00:04:37,161 --> 00:04:39,163 - Drown her! - Tear the witch apart! 61 00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:42,066 - She's a witch! - A witch? Moi? 62 00:04:42,133 --> 00:04:44,601 How dare you, peasants? 63 00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:49,572 I am your Lady, the Marquess of Baden. 64 00:04:50,673 --> 00:04:52,376 You've killed my brother. 65 00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:55,612 You sucked the soul out of his body. Demonic woman! 66 00:04:55,678 --> 00:04:57,281 Lies! 67 00:04:57,348 --> 00:05:00,284 Nothing but malicious lies! 68 00:05:00,351 --> 00:05:03,354 I beg you, Monsieur Keller. 69 00:05:03,421 --> 00:05:06,157 The rabble are in dire need of relief 70 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:09,293 from their sexual frustration! 71 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:14,765 I don't care how many stiffies the peasants have. 72 00:05:14,832 --> 00:05:18,235 Whatever you say, I don't believe it. 73 00:05:18,302 --> 00:05:19,804 I've still got my marbles. 74 00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:22,639 You may be able to deceive that virgin, 75 00:05:22,705 --> 00:05:25,309 but it's not so easy with me! 76 00:05:25,376 --> 00:05:28,245 - Give it up, changeling. - Me? 77 00:05:28,312 --> 00:05:31,182 You are a... 78 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,851 troll! 79 00:05:36,954 --> 00:05:41,792 Yes! Yes, indeed. 80 00:05:41,859 --> 00:05:45,329 You have detected me. 81 00:05:45,396 --> 00:05:50,267 Yes, I'm a... troll! 82 00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:53,370 I'm a troll! 83 00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:55,439 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 84 00:05:55,506 --> 00:05:57,274 That's it. 85 00:05:57,341 --> 00:06:00,945 And now I'm going to free my brothers 86 00:06:01,011 --> 00:06:03,347 from their magic prison, 87 00:06:03,414 --> 00:06:05,950 so they can feast on your flesh, too. 88 00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:07,451 Ha-ha-ha! 89 00:06:07,518 --> 00:06:10,254 Guards, seize her! 90 00:06:14,358 --> 00:06:15,926 Now, cut the crap! 91 00:06:15,993 --> 00:06:17,328 Hmm? 92 00:06:17,394 --> 00:06:20,865 Still here, you bumbling old fool? 93 00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:26,303 I'll give you fool! I'm Schnitzel, the wizard! 94 00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:28,105 Schnitzel? 95 00:06:28,172 --> 00:06:30,707 Thou shalt be banished! 96 00:06:30,774 --> 00:06:32,943 That's just ridiculous. 97 00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:34,812 Schnitzel? 98 00:06:34,879 --> 00:06:37,381 Just take a look! 99 00:06:37,448 --> 00:06:39,716 I've got the book. 100 00:06:39,783 --> 00:06:41,418 - Who's laughing now? - My book! 101 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:45,856 - Amei, turmurn... - No! 102 00:06:45,923 --> 00:06:50,327 - ..theemee, toomoo, stamone!! - That is not allowed! 103 00:06:50,394 --> 00:06:53,831 No! Agh! 104 00:06:56,433 --> 00:06:58,802 Stamone! 105 00:07:00,471 --> 00:07:04,341 Turned to stone in a woman's guise, 106 00:07:04,408 --> 00:07:07,811 by the spell the magician cast. 107 00:07:07,878 --> 00:07:12,416 They buried the hideous changeling with the book, 108 00:07:12,483 --> 00:07:14,084 at last. 109 00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:19,156 Mind the frame. 110 00:07:19,223 --> 00:07:21,892 Here, the key to the booklet. 111 00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:26,964 Never forget, it must not fall into the wrong hands, 112 00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:30,034 otherwise we will all be doomed. 113 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,770 I'll stow it away safely. 114 00:07:32,836 --> 00:07:35,906 And I'll dedicate a stone crucifix to my brother, 115 00:07:35,973 --> 00:07:37,975 a memorial for everyone 116 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:41,879 so this evil troll underneath it cannot ever return. 117 00:08:24,288 --> 00:08:26,957 Holy shit! 118 00:08:27,024 --> 00:08:29,827 You fart knocker! Are you baked or something? 119 00:08:29,893 --> 00:08:32,029 What the hell did you do, you losers? 120 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,134 Oh, boss, I had a bit of a crash. 121 00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:38,936 What? 122 00:08:39,003 --> 00:08:42,339 You dimwit! You're good for nothing, god darn it! 123 00:08:42,406 --> 00:08:45,175 I said dig around it, not right through it! 124 00:08:45,242 --> 00:08:49,913 If that's broken, I'm gonna nail you to that cross, buddy! 125 00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:51,982 Woah. What is this? 126 00:08:52,049 --> 00:08:55,853 I'm about to get mad, you hear me? Really, really mad! 127 00:08:55,919 --> 00:08:57,321 Oh, gold! 128 00:08:57,388 --> 00:09:00,324 What the hell is going on, Vorlicek? Huh? 129 00:09:00,391 --> 00:09:04,361 What the fuck? Is your tongue stapled? What's wrong with you? 130 00:09:04,428 --> 00:09:05,996 Just an old stone thingy. 131 00:09:06,063 --> 00:09:07,298 - Some chick. - Oh, no, no! 132 00:09:07,364 --> 00:09:10,000 Then it's something historical, for Christ's sake! 133 00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:12,069 - Oh! - I'll fix it. 134 00:09:12,136 --> 00:09:15,406 - I got some duct tape. - Oh, for Christ's sake! 135 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,008 - Hey, that's mine! - Now I have to get a specialist, 136 00:09:18,075 --> 00:09:20,144 and the goddam mayor is gonna show up 137 00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:22,446 with those shiny teeth! 138 00:09:22,513 --> 00:09:26,016 - That's bad. - Paperwork! Up the wazoo! 139 00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:28,185 I'll be stuck here forever! 140 00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:33,457 Oh, yeah. Showtime. 141 00:09:33,524 --> 00:09:41,465 Can't get it open. It's stuck! Must be worth... 142 00:09:41,532 --> 00:09:44,435 Ring-a-ling-a-ling! My bell doesn't work. Sorry. 143 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,371 Hey, watch what you're doing, you mothersmucker. 144 00:10:12,162 --> 00:10:14,465 One, two, three, four. 145 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:18,502 Are you ready for the inexplicable? 146 00:10:18,569 --> 00:10:20,437 Something that will change the way 147 00:10:20,504 --> 00:10:23,140 we see the world around us? 148 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:26,510 Are you ready for blood-curdling horror? 149 00:10:26,577 --> 00:10:30,314 Don't be scared. It won't be the Letterman show here on stage. 150 00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:32,149 Letterman is good. 151 00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:35,386 This is... The Arabello Show! 152 00:10:48,298 --> 00:10:50,334 Where is your mother? 153 00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:54,104 Wasn't it her brilliant scheme to watch a lunchtime talk show? 154 00:10:54,171 --> 00:10:58,375 A big welcome for Mademoiselle Ashtar, please. 155 00:10:58,442 --> 00:11:02,212 Miss Corpulentus here claims to come from the planet Mars. 156 00:11:02,279 --> 00:11:06,083 Apparently, she's certainly had her share of Mars Bars. 157 00:11:06,150 --> 00:11:08,218 Don't you think so? 158 00:11:10,454 --> 00:11:12,623 Mm-hm. That sounds tasty. 159 00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:16,360 Our second guest today is... Vladimir Kaiser. 160 00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:19,630 He claims that he's a real wizard. 161 00:11:19,696 --> 00:11:24,201 And our third guest for today is Michael Waits. 162 00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:27,538 You can't piss on hospitality! I won't allow it! 163 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:31,275 Normally, you should know just where the fine line is, but... 164 00:11:31,341 --> 00:11:33,177 that's none of our business 165 00:11:33,243 --> 00:11:35,946 in the incredible Arabello Show! 166 00:11:38,515 --> 00:11:40,017 Ashtar! Why are you here? 167 00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:44,521 Why didn't you apply to The Biggest Loser? 168 00:11:44,588 --> 00:11:47,324 Ashtar searching man. 169 00:11:47,391 --> 00:11:49,593 Don't you have online dating on your planet? 170 00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:51,695 I think your problem is the antenna, right? 171 00:11:51,763 --> 00:11:53,564 It doesn't get any reception? 172 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:58,302 But I always get a great reception. 173 00:11:58,368 --> 00:11:59,804 Hey, watch it, you clumsy oaf! 174 00:11:59,871 --> 00:12:02,306 - I have to tell you about... - Here I am! 175 00:12:02,372 --> 00:12:05,375 I couldn't stop laughing! 176 00:12:05,442 --> 00:12:09,646 Mom, where have you been? This is, like, beyond boring. 177 00:12:09,713 --> 00:12:11,582 That's because you're listening to Dr. Fisher 178 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,650 instead of to the show. 179 00:12:13,717 --> 00:12:16,587 Vanessa, what were you thinking? 180 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,289 Klaus, stop being a wisecracker. 181 00:12:19,356 --> 00:12:21,625 So, are you two enjoying yourselves? 182 00:12:21,692 --> 00:12:24,328 Do you want me to kill myself? 183 00:12:24,394 --> 00:12:27,731 Ashtar, what is your Prince Charming supposed to be like? 184 00:12:27,799 --> 00:12:30,634 Like me? 185 00:12:30,701 --> 00:12:33,704 Ashtar particular. 186 00:12:33,771 --> 00:12:38,242 - Just like you! - Ha! You crazy chicken! 187 00:12:38,308 --> 00:12:40,812 No, you're the chicken. 188 00:12:40,879 --> 00:12:43,680 - Um... - So, how's your friend? 189 00:12:43,747 --> 00:12:45,682 The friend with the squeaky voice? 190 00:12:45,749 --> 00:12:49,353 What? Tippie, the antique vendor? 191 00:12:49,419 --> 00:12:51,522 - Fool's gold! - False goat? 192 00:12:51,588 --> 00:12:53,825 Are you deaf? It's not real gold. 193 00:12:53,892 --> 00:12:58,095 - But that can't be true. - Well, that's the way it is. 194 00:12:58,161 --> 00:13:00,697 Fool's gold, battered leather, no key. 195 00:13:00,765 --> 00:13:05,302 Yuck! And there are chicken bones on it. 196 00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:08,539 It's really worth nothing at all? 197 00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:12,709 - Okay. Give me the book. - Hm! 198 00:13:12,777 --> 00:13:15,579 - Here, take this. - Snickerdoodle! A 20! 199 00:13:16,948 --> 00:13:20,785 Tch, tch, tch. Now, make like a tree and leave. 200 00:13:22,452 --> 00:13:26,356 Freaking A! That is so awesome! 201 00:13:26,423 --> 00:13:28,358 Tippie, you're the cat's meow! 202 00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:32,563 Hokus pyokus. 203 00:13:32,629 --> 00:13:36,667 Oh-ho! Hokus pyokus! 204 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:41,171 Sauerkraut and oatmeal swirls, I order you to bend your curls! 205 00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,774 Hm! 206 00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:47,812 Ha! How was I? 207 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,213 Woo-hoo! 208 00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:53,584 - Hm! - Yeah! 209 00:13:53,650 --> 00:13:57,187 Please, no applause for... for the wizard. 210 00:13:57,254 --> 00:14:00,490 Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo! 211 00:14:00,858 --> 00:14:02,626 Bravo! 212 00:14:02,693 --> 00:14:05,529 Well, you seem to have one fan in the audience. 213 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:07,698 Then she should come up on my stage. 214 00:14:07,765 --> 00:14:10,601 With her, I can do my clairvoyant poppa-the-nuttsa! 215 00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:13,503 We're not interested in your miniature "Rumburak." 216 00:14:13,570 --> 00:14:15,706 But Rumburak is of great length! 217 00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:18,776 Many woman has felt its magic! 218 00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:21,946 Oh, and speaking of schmeckels, I got two of those. 219 00:14:22,013 --> 00:14:23,915 An aberration! 220 00:14:23,982 --> 00:14:25,716 Disgusting! 221 00:14:25,783 --> 00:14:27,484 Wow! 222 00:14:27,551 --> 00:14:28,786 That was a brilliant trick. 223 00:14:28,853 --> 00:14:32,890 I've seen better tricks in my day. Glad he's gone! 224 00:14:32,957 --> 00:14:34,658 Mm-hm? 225 00:14:34,725 --> 00:14:36,794 Now, let us focus on you, Michael. 226 00:14:36,861 --> 00:14:40,932 Mickel, Mackel, Muckel. Mookle, Meekle Michael Waits! 227 00:14:40,999 --> 00:14:43,200 Tell us your story! 228 00:14:43,266 --> 00:14:45,903 Well, about 25 years ago, 229 00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:49,606 was when we first... met them. 230 00:14:49,673 --> 00:14:52,309 Um... They were... 231 00:14:52,376 --> 00:14:56,747 small shadows that appeared to be giggling. 232 00:14:56,814 --> 00:15:01,886 Who or what were these... "small shadows", Michael? 233 00:15:01,953 --> 00:15:07,157 Well, they were naughty, spiteful, impudent creatures. 234 00:15:07,959 --> 00:15:09,660 They were deformed. 235 00:15:09,726 --> 00:15:11,896 They were the trolls of the night. 236 00:15:11,963 --> 00:15:15,399 Sounds like the usual Baden-Baden inhabitants to me! 237 00:15:15,465 --> 00:15:18,770 That sounds like a really, really bad movie. 238 00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:21,638 - Where are you going? - I'm just going to the loo. 239 00:15:21,705 --> 00:15:22,974 It was awful, 240 00:15:23,041 --> 00:15:26,343 just worse than anything the human brain can imagine. 241 00:15:27,444 --> 00:15:30,313 What a pervert! 242 00:15:30,380 --> 00:15:33,717 Oh, Mr. Kaiser! Mr. Kaiser! 243 00:15:33,785 --> 00:15:36,988 Ah, lovely young woman from audience. 244 00:15:37,055 --> 00:15:41,358 Yes. I am so sorry you were interrupted earlier, 245 00:15:41,425 --> 00:15:46,396 as I would have loved to do that with you, the mental polonaise. 246 00:15:46,463 --> 00:15:48,699 Mental poppa-the-nuttsa! 247 00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:51,668 Yes! I would have loved to do that with you. 248 00:15:51,735 --> 00:15:55,439 Maybe later we could do some, uh, exercises? No? 249 00:15:56,774 --> 00:15:58,508 Ah! 250 00:15:58,575 --> 00:16:00,845 Hold on. Where is that thing? 251 00:16:02,412 --> 00:16:04,548 Hello, Vanessa Mayer. 252 00:16:04,614 --> 00:16:07,952 - Vanessa, it's me, your mother... - No, sorry. Wrong number. 253 00:16:08,019 --> 00:16:10,287 Oh, those creepy stalkers. 254 00:16:10,353 --> 00:16:12,489 And I would like to introduce myself. 255 00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:14,524 - I am... - Vanessa Mayer. 256 00:16:14,591 --> 00:16:17,327 How do you know that? 257 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:20,497 My name is Vladimir Kaiser, the lascivious psychic. 258 00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:25,335 - Oh! That is so exciting! - Here's my business card. 259 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:28,305 If you're ever in need of wizard for opening of car dealership 260 00:16:28,371 --> 00:16:31,809 or, you know, supermarket or whatever, or an orgy, 261 00:16:31,876 --> 00:16:34,045 I can be found in Hotel Dorint. 262 00:16:34,112 --> 00:16:36,848 Oh! Great! 263 00:16:38,015 --> 00:16:39,851 Oh. Mm. 264 00:16:42,019 --> 00:16:44,254 It was... It was terrible. 265 00:16:46,124 --> 00:16:48,325 They ended up killing my wife. 266 00:16:48,391 --> 00:16:50,594 Oh! They didn't? 267 00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,596 Oh, yes, they did. 268 00:16:52,662 --> 00:16:55,332 As they are not meat eaters, 269 00:16:55,398 --> 00:16:57,501 they turned my wife into a plant. 270 00:16:57,567 --> 00:17:02,339 So that she became half-plant, half-man, 271 00:17:02,405 --> 00:17:05,509 the goblins' favorite food. 272 00:17:05,575 --> 00:17:08,012 It all happened in a place called Nilbog. 273 00:17:09,180 --> 00:17:10,313 Nilbog? 274 00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:12,984 Yeah, that's "goblin" spelled backwards. 275 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:19,023 How does someone invent so much shit? 276 00:17:19,090 --> 00:17:20,124 Really! 277 00:17:20,191 --> 00:17:22,492 It's been an incredible show tonight. 278 00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:24,561 This guy's the weirdest of them all! 279 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:27,999 Sometimes, I have the feeling there are only mad people here. 280 00:17:28,065 --> 00:17:29,901 Mad, mad, mad people! 281 00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,069 Hey, man, how can I get you to understand? 282 00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:33,905 I'm no maniac. 283 00:17:33,971 --> 00:17:36,640 Michael Waits wins the Cuckoo Of The Week. 284 00:17:36,706 --> 00:17:38,642 The Cuckoo Cuckoo Cuckoo... 285 00:17:38,708 --> 00:17:40,011 Did I miss something? 286 00:17:40,077 --> 00:17:41,913 You're back at the right moment. 287 00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:45,415 They are just conferring the Cuckoo Of The Week. 288 00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:48,685 - I got the Cuckoo Of The Week! - Mom, I gotta go now. 289 00:17:48,753 --> 00:17:51,488 - But why? - Charlie's waiting for me. 290 00:17:51,555 --> 00:17:53,390 This is terrific! Ha-ha. 291 00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:55,525 Charlie's her new sexy boyfriend. 292 00:17:55,592 --> 00:17:59,663 You have to see him with your own eyes. Come on, let's go. 293 00:17:59,729 --> 00:18:02,532 Look at those teeth! 294 00:18:02,599 --> 00:18:04,168 I'm a real dentist. 295 00:18:04,235 --> 00:18:06,137 Huh? 296 00:18:06,204 --> 00:18:08,940 Huh? 297 00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:14,444 Why are you all laughing? 298 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:17,681 These creatures can transform themselves into human beings 299 00:18:17,747 --> 00:18:21,418 anytime and anywhere they want. 300 00:18:21,484 --> 00:18:25,089 Just remember, goblins still exist! 301 00:18:25,156 --> 00:18:27,792 Goblins still exist... still exist. 302 00:18:31,863 --> 00:18:35,432 - Wasn't that funny? - No, not at all. 303 00:18:35,498 --> 00:18:38,069 - Hey, Charlie! - Hey, babe. 304 00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:43,607 Klaus, this is the new boyfriend of my daughter. 305 00:18:43,673 --> 00:18:46,043 - Isn't he handsome? - Mom! Come on! 306 00:18:46,110 --> 00:18:50,214 Hi, everybody. I'm Charlie. And you look like Columbo. 307 00:18:50,281 --> 00:18:51,581 Uh... Who? 308 00:18:51,648 --> 00:18:54,451 - Let's get outta here. - Where are you going, kids? 309 00:18:54,517 --> 00:18:57,788 - Uh, to the white rock. - Oh, the lover's rock! 310 00:18:57,855 --> 00:19:01,125 Ah! Natalja? 311 00:19:01,192 --> 00:19:04,694 Natalja! Auntie Helga is coming at nine o'clock. 312 00:19:04,762 --> 00:19:06,696 You have to be back on time. 313 00:19:06,764 --> 00:19:08,732 - Probably not! - Oh, shoot! 314 00:19:12,837 --> 00:19:14,805 Fascinating! Fascinating! 315 00:19:14,872 --> 00:19:17,474 What do you think? How old is this thing? 316 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:19,609 Hard to tell, Mayor Keller. 317 00:19:19,676 --> 00:19:21,178 - Judging by its breasts... - Oh, hello! 318 00:19:21,245 --> 00:19:25,182 - ..I'd say 600, 700 years. - Well I'll be! 319 00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:27,584 Do you really think this is a depiction 320 00:19:27,651 --> 00:19:30,121 of the legendary Marquess of Baden? 321 00:19:30,187 --> 00:19:32,622 - Mm-hm. - Ah! 322 00:19:32,689 --> 00:19:35,860 What a find! What a find! 323 00:19:35,927 --> 00:19:37,962 Miss Hermann, Miss Hermann! 324 00:19:38,029 --> 00:19:41,165 Call the press! Call the press! Call the press! Call the press! 325 00:19:41,232 --> 00:19:43,834 Ooh, yes! 326 00:19:43,901 --> 00:19:45,770 Moving on the press conference! 327 00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,906 - Of course, Monsieur Mayor. - Picture, quick 328 00:19:48,973 --> 00:19:52,243 - Here's my helmet. - Tsk! Ridiculous! 329 00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:54,946 No, no, just me! Go, go, go, go, go! 330 00:19:56,713 --> 00:19:58,682 Come a little closer. 331 00:19:58,748 --> 00:20:01,185 Can't you get me out of here already? 332 00:20:01,252 --> 00:20:03,520 I think we can work something out! 333 00:20:04,989 --> 00:20:06,656 Ha! 334 00:20:06,723 --> 00:20:08,591 Hey, we gotta get this broad outta here today. 335 00:20:08,658 --> 00:20:12,529 - The shift starts at seven. - Oh, the hoi polloi. 336 00:20:12,595 --> 00:20:13,831 This "broad", just to quote you, 337 00:20:13,898 --> 00:20:16,533 is older than your great grandmother and therefore, 338 00:20:16,599 --> 00:20:20,771 so valuable and historical you couldn't dream of it. 339 00:20:20,838 --> 00:20:23,707 Yeah, all right, take her off to some museum or something. 340 00:20:23,774 --> 00:20:25,675 My boys will resurrect the crucifix 341 00:20:25,742 --> 00:20:27,912 then we can do what needs to be done. 342 00:20:27,979 --> 00:20:31,614 You know what I'm thinking, wisenheimer? 343 00:20:31,681 --> 00:20:36,020 Baden-Baden could be full of treasures, and they're mine. 344 00:20:36,087 --> 00:20:38,688 So, don't forget. 345 00:20:38,756 --> 00:20:41,759 I am the mayor, ay, ay, ay! 346 00:20:41,826 --> 00:20:44,661 Miss Hermann? Miss Herrmann? 347 00:20:44,728 --> 00:20:45,930 What a pain! 348 00:20:45,997 --> 00:20:47,999 Listen, Hansi. Put all this in the warehouse. 349 00:20:48,065 --> 00:20:51,335 - I want you to be careful. - I can see the headlines. 350 00:20:51,402 --> 00:20:54,671 Only three weeks in office and already the Super-Mayor 351 00:20:54,738 --> 00:20:59,076 helps provide Baden-Baden with a World Cultural Hermitage. 352 00:20:59,143 --> 00:21:01,578 I can see it, too. 353 00:21:01,644 --> 00:21:04,714 The two of us! 354 00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:09,020 So good that you called me, Miss Tippie. 355 00:21:13,157 --> 00:21:16,060 But how can it be that the pages are stuck together? 356 00:21:17,061 --> 00:21:18,829 Give me that! 357 00:21:28,806 --> 00:21:31,075 Ghastly! 358 00:21:31,142 --> 00:21:33,811 That book is a toaster! 359 00:21:33,878 --> 00:21:37,915 There is a legend, an old forgotten legend, 360 00:21:37,982 --> 00:21:39,884 about a magic book. 361 00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:41,852 A little like the Smurfs. 362 00:21:41,919 --> 00:21:44,922 And normally, I don't take such tales so seriously, 363 00:21:44,989 --> 00:21:48,759 but this book seems to withhold a magic aura. 364 00:21:48,826 --> 00:21:51,028 This ancient symbol of the Necronomicon 365 00:21:51,095 --> 00:21:54,031 was used in black magic to manipulate reality. 366 00:21:54,098 --> 00:21:57,168 Wow! What do you think I should do with it? 367 00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:59,937 The oddest things are bestsellers on eBay. 368 00:22:00,004 --> 00:22:04,108 Are you completely insane? You can't just sell this book! 369 00:22:05,342 --> 00:22:07,845 This thing is perhaps 370 00:22:07,912 --> 00:22:11,916 the greatest discovery ever from Baden-Baden. 371 00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:14,051 - Baden-Baden? - Baden-Baden? 372 00:22:14,118 --> 00:22:15,786 Baden-Baden. 373 00:22:15,853 --> 00:22:18,789 - From the discoveries made here. - Woah! 374 00:22:18,856 --> 00:22:22,159 - Can I take this rarity home? - No! 375 00:22:22,226 --> 00:22:25,329 Then you'll have to take me as well, and I like wine. 376 00:22:25,396 --> 00:22:28,698 For a start, you'll have to get me all sloshed or something. 377 00:22:28,766 --> 00:22:31,902 You can only touch our little precious if there's hanky panky. 378 00:22:31,969 --> 00:22:35,239 - This time he won't get away. - What drug is she on? 379 00:22:35,306 --> 00:22:38,342 ♪ Yes, I give this book to you ♪ 380 00:22:38,409 --> 00:22:41,345 ♪ On just one condition ♪ 381 00:22:41,412 --> 00:22:44,048 ♪ Promise me I will take part ♪ 382 00:22:44,115 --> 00:22:47,084 ♪ In your examination ♪ 383 00:22:47,151 --> 00:22:49,954 ♪ What about tonight? ♪ 384 00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:52,022 ♪ What about tonight? ♪ 385 00:22:52,089 --> 00:22:55,126 No, no! Tonight, I can't. 386 00:22:55,192 --> 00:22:57,294 I-I have to repair my bicycle. 387 00:22:57,361 --> 00:23:00,131 ♪ What about tomorrow? ♪ 388 00:23:00,197 --> 00:23:01,832 No, no! 389 00:23:01,899 --> 00:23:04,235 I already have a dinner appointment 390 00:23:04,301 --> 00:23:06,237 - with Madame Mayer. - Oh. 391 00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:08,906 I'll stop by after that, in the afternoon. 392 00:23:08,973 --> 00:23:13,944 I will have my photo-apparatus with me, so I can take a photo. 393 00:23:14,011 --> 00:23:17,348 - Of me? - No, of the book, what else? 394 00:23:17,414 --> 00:23:19,116 Mm. 395 00:23:19,183 --> 00:23:24,088 But now I... I have to leave... because of my hike. 396 00:23:24,155 --> 00:23:26,123 My bike! My bike! 397 00:23:27,324 --> 00:23:30,895 You know, uh... Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft! 398 00:23:30,961 --> 00:23:34,131 Zz, zz, zz, zz, zz, zz! Ch-ch-ch-ch! You know. 399 00:23:34,198 --> 00:23:35,966 - Uh-huh? - Yeah. 400 00:23:36,033 --> 00:23:38,035 Well, that's wonderful. I'll see you tomorrow! 401 00:23:38,102 --> 00:23:41,372 But you have to look after this book! 402 00:23:41,438 --> 00:23:45,109 - Huh? - I'll come back tomorrow. 403 00:23:45,176 --> 00:23:48,445 Tomorrow! To you! 404 00:23:48,512 --> 00:23:51,448 I'll come back... to you. 405 00:23:51,515 --> 00:23:54,919 Yeah. Oh. 406 00:23:54,985 --> 00:23:57,988 Oh! 407 00:24:04,295 --> 00:24:06,030 Ooh! 408 00:24:06,096 --> 00:24:08,299 I wonder if my mom would like her. 409 00:24:12,469 --> 00:24:14,071 Hansi. 410 00:24:14,138 --> 00:24:17,942 You haven't seen my book, by any chance? 411 00:24:18,008 --> 00:24:20,743 Have you, Hansi? 412 00:24:23,180 --> 00:24:24,481 Oh, man! 413 00:24:26,016 --> 00:24:28,118 Oh, Hansi! 414 00:24:33,090 --> 00:24:37,127 Come to me, be all mine. 415 00:24:37,194 --> 00:24:40,064 I was too lonely in my lair, 416 00:24:40,130 --> 00:24:43,534 had neither love nor any air. 417 00:24:43,601 --> 00:24:48,172 Now, kiss me, awaken my fire! 418 00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:54,511 Yes! But take heed, for I'm a monster indeed! 419 00:25:11,362 --> 00:25:14,064 You certainly didn't last very long! 420 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,104 This is your end, and our beginning! 421 00:25:58,642 --> 00:26:00,577 What now? 422 00:26:01,612 --> 00:26:03,314 Hello? 423 00:26:03,380 --> 00:26:06,283 Natalia? 424 00:26:06,350 --> 00:26:09,253 Mom? Why are you breathing so hard? 425 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,989 Because you're still not home, young lady. 426 00:26:12,056 --> 00:26:13,991 Aunt Helga will be here any moment. 427 00:26:14,058 --> 00:26:16,560 Oh, Mom, do I really have to? 428 00:26:16,627 --> 00:26:19,463 Don't let your auntie hear that. You know how sensitive she is 429 00:26:19,530 --> 00:26:21,899 - Be back in half an hour. - Yeah, but... 430 00:26:21,965 --> 00:26:24,902 Get your ass home now. You can bring Charlie if you like. 431 00:26:24,968 --> 00:26:26,537 I have wine in the fridge. 432 00:26:26,603 --> 00:26:29,440 Helga and I will be on the terrace waiting for you. 433 00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:33,210 - Don't be late. - I have to leave now. 434 00:26:33,277 --> 00:26:34,578 Oh, come on! 435 00:26:34,645 --> 00:26:38,382 Why'd I even bother to wear my heart shirt, then? 436 00:26:41,485 --> 00:26:45,689 Babe, the heck with it. I'll drive you home. 437 00:26:45,757 --> 00:26:47,491 We'll do it another time. 438 00:26:47,558 --> 00:26:50,928 But first, I gotta drain the main vein. 439 00:26:50,994 --> 00:26:53,330 Oh, yuck! 440 00:26:55,499 --> 00:26:57,634 Ah! The sniff! 441 00:26:57,701 --> 00:27:00,571 The smell of a virgin is in my nostrils. 442 00:27:00,637 --> 00:27:03,674 If I follow my senses, there will be no defenses. 443 00:27:03,741 --> 00:27:07,444 Oh, virgin! Virgin, where are you? 444 00:27:07,511 --> 00:27:09,046 Charlie? 445 00:27:21,625 --> 00:27:25,095 Come! You are all mine. 446 00:27:26,697 --> 00:27:28,665 Ha! 447 00:27:28,732 --> 00:27:31,001 Are you crazy? 448 00:27:32,603 --> 00:27:34,972 You almost gave me a heart attack! 449 00:27:35,038 --> 00:27:37,474 What is wrong with you? 450 00:27:37,541 --> 00:27:39,977 Hey, I'm just the victim of a nightly frenzy. 451 00:27:40,043 --> 00:27:42,980 My oldest instincts are crying out for you. 452 00:27:44,615 --> 00:27:46,984 Go release your instincts in the forest! 453 00:27:47,050 --> 00:27:50,988 Are you nuts? You certainly are endangering mine. 454 00:27:51,054 --> 00:27:54,425 I have to go home. Like, right now! 455 00:27:54,491 --> 00:27:58,462 Come on! Asshole. 456 00:27:58,529 --> 00:28:03,000 A male virgin is the key ingredient for my plan. 457 00:28:03,066 --> 00:28:05,436 I have to free my brothers 458 00:28:05,502 --> 00:28:08,572 from the dimension of banishment. 459 00:28:11,475 --> 00:28:13,143 - Clinky-dinky! - Clinky-dinky! 460 00:28:16,815 --> 00:28:19,716 Helga, dear. I met a real magician today. 461 00:28:19,784 --> 00:28:24,087 - With hunchback and wart? - His name is Vladimir Kaiser. 462 00:28:24,154 --> 00:28:25,790 He's a quack, a spellcaster, 463 00:28:25,857 --> 00:28:28,292 and I think he's sleeping at the Hotel Dorint. 464 00:28:28,358 --> 00:28:32,262 Oh, Vladimir Kaiser! Is he handsome? 465 00:28:32,329 --> 00:28:34,164 Of course not. 466 00:28:34,231 --> 00:28:36,300 Has he already... shown you his rabbit? 467 00:28:36,366 --> 00:28:38,268 No, not yet! 468 00:28:39,203 --> 00:28:40,772 Hi. 469 00:28:40,839 --> 00:28:43,240 Oh, the fine lady shows up at last. 470 00:28:44,107 --> 00:28:45,676 Natalja. 471 00:28:48,378 --> 00:28:51,315 So, you're Natalja's new boyfriend. 472 00:28:55,787 --> 00:28:57,822 Hi, my name's Charlie. 473 00:28:57,889 --> 00:29:01,592 Charlie! What a rebellious name. 474 00:29:01,658 --> 00:29:03,594 Ooh, look at these tits! 475 00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:06,296 Your daughter really takes after her father. 476 00:29:06,363 --> 00:29:07,698 - Ooh! - She's got my tits. 477 00:29:07,765 --> 00:29:11,268 Because you take after your father. 478 00:29:11,335 --> 00:29:13,337 You have the same taste as your mother. 479 00:29:13,403 --> 00:29:16,607 She was a vamp at school. She stole every guy of mine. 480 00:29:16,673 --> 00:29:22,346 What do you mean I was? I still get any man I want. Any man! 481 00:29:22,412 --> 00:29:24,648 What a slut! 482 00:29:24,715 --> 00:29:26,751 Mom! Shut up! 483 00:29:26,818 --> 00:29:28,853 You are so embarrassing! You act like a child! 484 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,588 - It was a joke! - Good night, ladies. 485 00:29:31,655 --> 00:29:34,324 - Salut, Charlie. - Salut! 486 00:29:34,391 --> 00:29:37,194 Why, you floosy! Shall we get another bottle? 487 00:29:37,261 --> 00:29:39,096 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 488 00:29:39,162 --> 00:29:42,699 That female is the ideal host for me. 489 00:29:44,735 --> 00:29:47,337 - Open up the good stuff. - You'll drink anything anyway. 490 00:29:52,709 --> 00:29:55,813 Who put a vase here? 491 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,216 Oh, I feel so different today. 492 00:30:01,251 --> 00:30:02,754 My medicine. 493 00:30:03,788 --> 00:30:05,389 Delicious. 494 00:30:06,423 --> 00:30:08,826 You are delicious! 495 00:30:08,893 --> 00:30:14,231 Amei, omown, youmou, nomow! 496 00:30:16,567 --> 00:30:18,903 Vanessa? 497 00:30:18,970 --> 00:30:21,371 Oh! Did the bottle pop on you? 498 00:30:22,807 --> 00:30:25,242 Have you gone vegetarian on me? 499 00:30:32,951 --> 00:30:36,286 Are you a virgin? Hm. 500 00:30:36,353 --> 00:30:38,488 You are a virgin! 501 00:30:42,292 --> 00:30:43,861 You're aware those flowers are fake. 502 00:30:43,928 --> 00:30:47,297 Can't imagine the plastic tastes good. 503 00:30:47,364 --> 00:30:50,200 I think they're perfect as they are. 504 00:30:50,267 --> 00:30:52,202 Oh. 505 00:30:52,269 --> 00:30:54,939 Shall I get you some salt, sweetheart? 506 00:30:55,006 --> 00:30:58,342 - Huh? - Freaking salt, I hate it! 507 00:30:58,408 --> 00:31:01,779 You sound just like Aunt Barbara, always low-sodium. 508 00:31:03,380 --> 00:31:06,784 - Hold this, you old maid! - Oh, Vanessa. 509 00:31:06,851 --> 00:31:09,219 That's, uh... so sweet of you. 510 00:31:12,289 --> 00:31:16,326 Goosey maid, so well-behaved, 511 00:31:16,393 --> 00:31:18,830 with my hands upon your spine, 512 00:31:18,896 --> 00:31:23,533 my power reigns, your will is mine! 513 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:27,404 - Now, get me a broom! - Wonderful. I love brooms. 514 00:31:52,362 --> 00:31:54,665 The Mummel Lake! 515 00:32:02,506 --> 00:32:03,740 Ha-ha! 516 00:32:15,019 --> 00:32:18,455 Flammen, flammake... 517 00:32:18,522 --> 00:32:19,757 flammauk! 518 00:32:25,395 --> 00:32:28,465 It rustles among the reeds! 519 00:32:28,532 --> 00:32:32,036 It tinkles between the kelp! 520 00:32:32,103 --> 00:32:36,406 Dark water and green clover. 521 00:32:36,473 --> 00:32:41,344 King of the lake, I beg you, come over! 522 00:32:56,493 --> 00:32:59,329 Who's doing all this bad rhyming? 523 00:33:00,363 --> 00:33:02,432 I hate being woken up. 524 00:33:02,499 --> 00:33:05,602 Who just ruined my deep-sea nap? 525 00:33:05,669 --> 00:33:09,774 It was me, oh, mighty king. 526 00:33:13,376 --> 00:33:15,378 I'll make roasted duck of you. 527 00:33:16,613 --> 00:33:18,548 Huh? What the hell? 528 00:33:23,821 --> 00:33:26,556 What is this? 529 00:33:26,623 --> 00:33:28,458 You are a troll? 530 00:33:28,525 --> 00:33:32,729 They say that far and wide, you have the best nose of them all! 531 00:33:32,797 --> 00:33:34,866 You're slimier than any toad. 532 00:33:34,932 --> 00:33:37,467 You give me the shivers, you scum. 533 00:33:37,534 --> 00:33:41,773 You must urgently find me the old Book of Magic. 534 00:33:41,839 --> 00:33:43,775 I must do nothing! 535 00:33:43,841 --> 00:33:46,878 You will be rewarded generously, of course. 536 00:33:46,944 --> 00:33:49,914 I doubt you've got anything to offer. 537 00:33:49,981 --> 00:33:53,751 Trolls are experts at stealing children. 538 00:33:53,818 --> 00:33:54,852 Hm! 539 00:33:54,919 --> 00:33:56,653 And if I'm not mistaken, 540 00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:00,892 Your Fishiness loves the little babies. 541 00:34:00,958 --> 00:34:06,764 I'll show you some fishiness! But your offer sounds promising. 542 00:34:08,032 --> 00:34:09,733 Bring me a baby, 543 00:34:09,801 --> 00:34:12,602 and then I shall look for the book you seek. 544 00:34:15,940 --> 00:34:19,709 Your Majesty is so gracious, it shall be my honor 545 00:34:19,777 --> 00:34:22,712 to bring you the fairest and fattest infant 546 00:34:22,780 --> 00:34:24,849 that ever saw the light of day. 547 00:34:24,916 --> 00:34:27,919 But not as fat a blowfish, got it? 548 00:34:27,985 --> 00:34:31,721 I won't disappoint you, oh, warlord of the waters, 549 00:34:31,789 --> 00:34:34,624 ruler of the lakes, the rivers, and the fishes. 550 00:34:34,691 --> 00:34:36,060 You forgot something. 551 00:34:36,127 --> 00:34:39,529 Just call me Don Poseidon, 552 00:34:39,596 --> 00:34:42,432 the king who loves spreading hell and high water! 553 00:34:50,875 --> 00:34:54,544 Brew a concoction from this flower. 554 00:34:54,611 --> 00:34:56,580 The frog king gave this to me. 555 00:34:56,646 --> 00:34:59,749 Listen carefully, this is of prime importance. 556 00:35:02,586 --> 00:35:05,089 After ten minutes have passed, 557 00:35:05,156 --> 00:35:09,794 you have to add exactly 222 drops of this water, 558 00:35:09,861 --> 00:35:11,762 and not one more! 559 00:35:11,829 --> 00:35:13,998 Looks like ink, but the water is taken directly 560 00:35:14,065 --> 00:35:17,034 - from the Mummel Lake. - How disgusting! 561 00:35:17,101 --> 00:35:21,605 But the spell says I must do everything you say. 562 00:35:21,671 --> 00:35:23,640 Now, there's only one thing left to do. 563 00:35:23,707 --> 00:35:25,910 - That would be? - We have to find a newborn! 564 00:35:25,977 --> 00:35:27,845 Oh, just make one. 565 00:35:27,912 --> 00:35:31,082 You need a baby? Wait, aren't you a bit too old for that? 566 00:35:31,148 --> 00:35:33,084 - I'm 947! - Oh. 567 00:35:33,150 --> 00:35:36,787 - I've just come of age! - Mm-hm. 568 00:35:36,854 --> 00:35:39,723 - Look it up in the newspaper. - Newspaper? 569 00:35:39,790 --> 00:35:43,593 In the newspaper, they have a baby department. 570 00:35:43,660 --> 00:35:47,164 There are always announcements of newborn babies on page 13. 571 00:35:50,134 --> 00:35:53,737 A flower a day keeps the doctor away. 572 00:35:53,804 --> 00:35:56,774 - We can make moonshine. - Ah, ha-ha! 573 00:35:56,841 --> 00:35:59,010 - Found one. - A-ha! Oh. 574 00:35:59,076 --> 00:36:01,145 Morning, Mom. Morning, Aunt Helga. 575 00:36:01,212 --> 00:36:05,749 Good morning, sweetheart. Want some tea for breakfast? 576 00:36:05,816 --> 00:36:09,186 I'm just brewing some up. Early blossom sludge. 577 00:36:09,253 --> 00:36:12,256 No, thanks. I'm meeting Jenny for breakfast. 578 00:36:12,323 --> 00:36:15,226 Not so fast, spring chicken. 579 00:36:15,293 --> 00:36:17,762 Is your boyfriend coming, too? 580 00:36:17,828 --> 00:36:19,997 Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you that! 581 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,434 What an insolent offspring! 582 00:36:30,875 --> 00:36:33,110 What is that smell? 583 00:36:44,155 --> 00:36:45,722 Ooh, they're good! 584 00:36:45,790 --> 00:36:48,192 We'll find someone to buy your cookies. 585 00:36:48,259 --> 00:36:51,028 - If you think so, Granny? - Ooh, look! 586 00:36:51,095 --> 00:36:54,999 See that blonde? That's my neighbor, Madame Mayer. 587 00:36:55,066 --> 00:36:57,467 Vanessa! Hello! 588 00:36:59,837 --> 00:37:02,073 Huh? 589 00:37:02,139 --> 00:37:05,309 For heaven's sake Vanessa, what are you doing there? 590 00:37:08,145 --> 00:37:11,148 Ew! What are you putting in your mouth? 591 00:37:11,215 --> 00:37:16,553 Disgusting! I know you'll put any man in your mouth! Bleugh! 592 00:37:16,619 --> 00:37:19,023 - But trash, too? - Vanessa? 593 00:37:19,957 --> 00:37:21,092 Huh? 594 00:37:21,158 --> 00:37:24,594 Pardon, Madame, Vanessa's on a compost diet. 595 00:37:24,661 --> 00:37:26,596 - Haven't you heard of it? - No, I haven't. 596 00:37:26,663 --> 00:37:29,934 - It's the newest thing. - Poo-ey! 597 00:37:30,001 --> 00:37:33,104 Eugh, it's like eating poo! That's a diet? 598 00:37:33,170 --> 00:37:35,039 Eating right out of the garbage can? 599 00:37:35,106 --> 00:37:37,908 - I think she's pregnant. - How would you know? 600 00:37:37,975 --> 00:37:41,045 Yes. Organic waste tastes good to pregnant women. 601 00:37:41,112 --> 00:37:44,348 Vanessa, darling! 602 00:37:44,415 --> 00:37:46,150 Are you pregnant? 603 00:37:46,217 --> 00:37:50,254 Oh, I'm Helga. Helga Wolf. 604 00:37:50,321 --> 00:37:52,023 I'm Vanessa's cousin, 605 00:37:52,089 --> 00:37:55,625 and currently helping her through this phase. 606 00:37:55,692 --> 00:37:58,963 - I'm Béatrice, the neighbor. - Hm, hm, hm. 607 00:38:02,665 --> 00:38:05,702 Bleugh! Bleugh! 608 00:38:05,770 --> 00:38:08,205 The banana bread is ready! 609 00:38:08,272 --> 00:38:11,008 To stop the bitchin', just get in the kitchen! 610 00:38:11,075 --> 00:38:12,376 Ow! 611 00:38:15,678 --> 00:38:17,948 Count them precisely. 612 00:38:18,015 --> 00:38:23,020 Of this water 222 drops. 613 00:38:23,087 --> 00:38:26,689 But this is only possible by singing the counting song. 614 00:38:26,757 --> 00:38:28,225 The counting song? 615 00:38:28,292 --> 00:38:29,760 Yeah. 616 00:38:32,463 --> 00:38:34,999 ♪ One, two, three-four-five ♪ 617 00:38:35,066 --> 00:38:38,102 ♪ Seven, six, eight, nine ♪ 618 00:38:38,169 --> 00:38:42,039 Yeah! ♪ Nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14 15 ♪ 619 00:38:42,106 --> 00:38:44,674 ♪ 16, 17, 18, 19 ♪ 620 00:38:44,741 --> 00:38:46,977 ♪ 20, 21, 22... ♪ 621 00:38:48,711 --> 00:38:50,214 ♪ 22, 23, 24... ♪ 622 00:38:53,384 --> 00:38:55,786 Quick, open the door. Otherwise I'll miscount. 623 00:38:55,853 --> 00:38:58,389 ♪ 27, 28... ♪ 624 00:38:58,456 --> 00:39:00,324 Who is ringing my bell? 625 00:39:00,391 --> 00:39:02,760 Vanessa! What happened to your voice? Are you ill? 626 00:39:02,827 --> 00:39:05,262 Oh, Vanessa is... 627 00:39:05,329 --> 00:39:07,164 I'm hoarse. 628 00:39:07,231 --> 00:39:09,300 Oh, is that your lovely cousin, Helga? 629 00:39:09,366 --> 00:39:11,302 Bonjour, Madame! 630 00:39:11,368 --> 00:39:13,204 Hi! 631 00:39:13,270 --> 00:39:15,072 What's that magical smell? 632 00:39:15,139 --> 00:39:16,706 Arabic tea? 633 00:39:16,774 --> 00:39:20,144 44, 46, 71. 634 00:39:20,211 --> 00:39:21,345 74! 635 00:39:21,412 --> 00:39:24,048 Agh! I'm afraid you have to leave now, monsieur. 636 00:39:24,115 --> 00:39:27,451 - But what about our lunch date? - Cancelled! 637 00:39:27,518 --> 00:39:29,086 Huh? 638 00:39:29,153 --> 00:39:34,091 Béatrice, I got it by now. She ate garbage. 639 00:39:34,158 --> 00:39:38,262 No, no, no. Not just ate it, César. 640 00:39:38,329 --> 00:39:41,098 She engorged it. 641 00:39:41,165 --> 00:39:43,733 And that is definitely beyond normal! 642 00:39:43,801 --> 00:39:48,305 Good Lord, Béatrice! You are such a gossip queen! 643 00:39:48,372 --> 00:39:51,242 And every single time, you over-exaggerate. 644 00:39:51,308 --> 00:39:54,711 I can tell there's something foul at the Mayers'. 645 00:39:54,778 --> 00:39:58,382 A business, with all these men coming and going, and now... 646 00:39:58,449 --> 00:40:03,254 Hah! I know, I know, I know! She's pregnant. 647 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,290 - And she eats garbage! - And so what? 648 00:40:06,357 --> 00:40:10,261 The garbage goes into her mouth, and comes right out of yours! 649 00:40:10,327 --> 00:40:11,728 Agh! Stupid man! 650 00:40:19,036 --> 00:40:23,140 Isn't that Dr. Fischer? I'm gonna tell him everything. 651 00:40:23,207 --> 00:40:25,776 He's an educated man. He'll listen to me. 652 00:40:25,843 --> 00:40:27,111 Tippie? 653 00:40:27,178 --> 00:40:29,480 - Yes? - My appointment is canceled. 654 00:40:29,547 --> 00:40:31,882 - Oh, really? - If you like, uh... 655 00:40:31,949 --> 00:40:34,285 Would you mind bringing the book perhaps? 656 00:40:34,351 --> 00:40:36,453 - I can cook a meal. - I am so there! 657 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,856 - Wonderful! I... Oh. - Yoo-hoo! 658 00:40:38,923 --> 00:40:42,927 Good doctor! Please, please. Yeah, please, wait, wait. 659 00:40:42,993 --> 00:40:44,795 Wait, wait. 660 00:40:46,530 --> 00:40:49,533 Now tell me, weren't you just at the Mayers'? 661 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,304 Yes, indeed. Madame Mayer doesn't feel well. 662 00:40:53,370 --> 00:40:55,839 - She seems to be malaise. - Malaise? 663 00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:58,409 Malaise? 664 00:40:58,475 --> 00:41:00,844 Oh, so, that's what it's called. 665 00:41:00,911 --> 00:41:04,315 That must be the reason she ate garbage this morning. 666 00:41:04,381 --> 00:41:07,851 I'm always telling her not to eat that much rubbish. 667 00:41:07,918 --> 00:41:12,056 Yes. Luckily, it doesn't affect her figure. 668 00:41:12,122 --> 00:41:15,793 That's gross, disgusting! 669 00:41:15,859 --> 00:41:20,931 I'm not talking about fast food. I mean... real garbage! 670 00:41:20,998 --> 00:41:26,103 Organic waste. Scraps. Refuse. Dirt. 671 00:41:26,170 --> 00:41:28,339 Do you always trash talk like that? 672 00:41:30,541 --> 00:41:32,409 Agh! 673 00:41:35,079 --> 00:41:37,414 222. 674 00:41:37,481 --> 00:41:39,883 - Tea time! - It's done! 675 00:41:40,951 --> 00:41:43,821 Oh, I'll bring some cups! 676 00:41:43,887 --> 00:41:46,824 I'm getting us two mugs, and then we'll do some drugs! 677 00:41:46,890 --> 00:41:49,026 Homood, mamagic, quimick! 678 00:41:49,893 --> 00:41:53,564 Ha. Perfect! 679 00:41:53,631 --> 00:41:56,033 Magic hood. 680 00:41:58,902 --> 00:42:00,838 Vanessa? 681 00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:07,378 Vanessa! Did you go to the bathroom? 682 00:42:07,444 --> 00:42:11,148 No, you birdbrain. I'm gonna get a baby. 683 00:42:19,156 --> 00:42:21,625 Something's wrong with you, Vanessa Mayer. 684 00:42:21,692 --> 00:42:24,495 And I'll be the one to find it out. 685 00:42:30,334 --> 00:42:32,903 Ah, here it is. 686 00:42:41,945 --> 00:42:44,648 Hey, my little darling. 687 00:42:44,715 --> 00:42:46,550 It's time to go to sleep. 688 00:42:49,086 --> 00:42:51,588 Mommy's gonna take a little nap as well. 689 00:43:04,068 --> 00:43:07,037 Huh? 690 00:43:44,241 --> 00:43:46,143 Shouldn't forget my hood. 691 00:43:47,177 --> 00:43:50,247 And my new baby! 692 00:43:50,314 --> 00:43:55,419 Oh, coochy, coochy, coochy-coo. 693 00:43:55,486 --> 00:43:59,356 Coochy-coo! Coochy, coochy-coo! 694 00:44:06,063 --> 00:44:09,066 Ouch! I'd kill for a cup of tea! 695 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:13,036 I'll get it! 696 00:44:13,103 --> 00:44:15,406 Don't let them sell you a vacuum cleaner! 697 00:44:15,472 --> 00:44:17,174 Okay. 698 00:44:19,276 --> 00:44:21,245 Oh, Charlie. 699 00:44:21,311 --> 00:44:23,213 This house needs a troll. 700 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,917 Oh. That's so sweet. 701 00:44:27,451 --> 00:44:28,986 Thank you so much. 702 00:44:34,124 --> 00:44:36,527 You know, I've been behaving pretty badly. 703 00:44:36,593 --> 00:44:39,263 I don't want to spook you. 704 00:44:39,329 --> 00:44:43,233 You really mean a lot to me, and... if I lose my virginity, 705 00:44:43,300 --> 00:44:44,701 I want it to be you. 706 00:44:44,769 --> 00:44:48,172 You're so sexy. Should we go to your room? 707 00:44:49,406 --> 00:44:51,074 Isn't this too fast? 708 00:44:53,277 --> 00:44:55,345 You want it, too, don't you? 709 00:45:00,484 --> 00:45:02,486 Hm? 710 00:45:02,553 --> 00:45:05,155 Uh... Did you bring protection? 711 00:45:05,222 --> 00:45:07,024 In extra large. 712 00:45:10,093 --> 00:45:12,329 - Oh, Auntie Helga's here, too? - Ha-ha-ha. 713 00:45:12,396 --> 00:45:14,498 Let's go have some fun upstairs. 714 00:45:16,133 --> 00:45:18,068 Uh-oh. 715 00:45:18,135 --> 00:45:21,104 Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! 716 00:45:22,539 --> 00:45:25,042 Look at the mayor's brooch! 717 00:45:25,108 --> 00:45:29,613 The mayor's brooch? It looks just like the book's seal. 718 00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:34,318 Yes, but have you read what the article says? 719 00:45:34,384 --> 00:45:36,487 "The great mayor, Engelhardt Keller, 720 00:45:36,553 --> 00:45:40,457 presents the 700-year-old statue of Marquess Katherine, 721 00:45:40,524 --> 00:45:45,195 which, apparently, he dug out himself." 722 00:45:45,262 --> 00:45:47,498 I once had my hands on a book. 723 00:45:47,564 --> 00:45:50,567 It said something about that statue, 724 00:45:50,634 --> 00:45:53,437 statue of the Marquess of Baden. 725 00:45:53,504 --> 00:45:57,307 Uno momento! That means "wait a moment." 726 00:45:57,374 --> 00:46:01,478 Ah, yes! Here it is. Ha-ha. "The Sagas of Baden." 727 00:46:01,545 --> 00:46:06,617 And so that book is about my book? 728 00:46:06,683 --> 00:46:12,556 Mm. And here it is, what I've been looking for. 729 00:46:12,623 --> 00:46:16,193 "The Story of Burkhart Keller." 730 00:46:16,260 --> 00:46:21,298 He was a chivalrous ancestor of our mayor. 731 00:46:23,667 --> 00:46:27,471 "Once upon a time, thenoble knight, Burkhart Keller, 732 00:46:27,538 --> 00:46:33,176 accidentally released a troll from its marmoreal slumber. 733 00:46:33,243 --> 00:46:35,712 The troll stole the knight's breath 734 00:46:35,780 --> 00:46:41,151 and maliciously took possessionof Katherine, Marques of Baden. 735 00:46:41,218 --> 00:46:44,388 The Troll assumed the identity of the marquess. 736 00:46:44,454 --> 00:46:49,192 Its goal, to open the portal of an enchanted prison 737 00:46:49,259 --> 00:46:51,628 on the night of the summer solstice. 738 00:46:51,695 --> 00:46:56,433 The troll had a magic bookto help it, adorned with bones. 739 00:46:56,500 --> 00:46:59,636 The book had the ability to speak. 740 00:46:59,703 --> 00:47:02,272 Anyone trying to take control of it 741 00:47:02,339 --> 00:47:06,610 was struck by violent bolts of lightning. 742 00:47:06,677 --> 00:47:09,279 The book could only be controlled 743 00:47:09,346 --> 00:47:12,649 by a magic stellar amulet." 744 00:47:12,716 --> 00:47:14,852 Ooh! A stellar omelet? 745 00:47:14,919 --> 00:47:17,321 An amulet! 746 00:47:17,387 --> 00:47:21,725 But now, hold on tight. 747 00:47:21,793 --> 00:47:25,462 "After the marquesswas revealed to be a changeling, 748 00:47:25,529 --> 00:47:30,334 her body was turned to stone by a powerful wizard. 749 00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,870 He had her buried with the enchanted book, 750 00:47:32,937 --> 00:47:36,340 in the hopes the troll would never return." 751 00:47:36,406 --> 00:47:39,409 So, you do believe in these stories! 752 00:47:39,476 --> 00:47:43,881 The statue, it was excavated yesterday. It's in the paper. 753 00:47:43,948 --> 00:47:46,717 And today is the 21st of June. 754 00:47:46,784 --> 00:47:50,654 That means tonight is midsummer's night. 755 00:47:50,721 --> 00:47:53,825 That coincidence is terrible! 756 00:47:53,891 --> 00:47:57,594 You see, as we bore witness 757 00:47:57,661 --> 00:48:01,833 to how you were fried by furious lightning from the book... 758 00:48:01,899 --> 00:48:05,602 - Ooh! - There's no doubt about it. 759 00:48:07,404 --> 00:48:11,575 There are strange things going on here. 760 00:48:11,642 --> 00:48:15,780 We have to prevent the changeling 761 00:48:15,847 --> 00:48:18,415 from coming back to life! 762 00:48:18,482 --> 00:48:22,787 If it's not too late already. 763 00:48:22,854 --> 00:48:27,491 Vanessa, what a cute little stinker! 764 00:48:27,557 --> 00:48:30,828 Oh, coochy, coochy, coochy, coochy-coo! 765 00:48:30,895 --> 00:48:35,933 Oh, stop that. The frog king is calling. Go get my broomstick. 766 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:37,835 Stop! 767 00:48:38,803 --> 00:48:42,406 - Take it! - Oh. 768 00:48:42,472 --> 00:48:45,777 - Has that youngling been here? - Charlie? 769 00:48:45,843 --> 00:48:48,712 Oh, yes. He's upstairs with Natalja. 770 00:48:49,981 --> 00:48:52,249 Seems that there's some love in the air. 771 00:48:54,786 --> 00:48:56,888 Oh! Coochy, coochy... 772 00:48:57,989 --> 00:49:00,290 Ah, baby... 773 00:49:02,726 --> 00:49:03,928 - Mom! - What's going on here? 774 00:49:03,995 --> 00:49:06,964 - How dare you? - I think I'd better skedaddle. 775 00:49:07,031 --> 00:49:09,533 Yeah! 776 00:49:09,599 --> 00:49:11,803 We'll see if we can try again next time! 777 00:49:11,869 --> 00:49:12,904 You stay a virgin! 778 00:49:14,772 --> 00:49:16,974 Why do you always embarrass me like that? 779 00:49:17,041 --> 00:49:19,576 Silence! 780 00:49:19,643 --> 00:49:24,614 If you don't watch out, you'll end up in the shredder! 781 00:49:46,104 --> 00:49:48,739 - Hm! - Sweetie-pie. 782 00:49:50,007 --> 00:49:51,943 Take care, little baby. 783 00:49:54,946 --> 00:49:57,882 Take care that the daughter doesn't leave the house. 784 00:49:57,949 --> 00:49:59,884 Don't let Charlie get close to her. 785 00:49:59,951 --> 00:50:02,419 He is only of value as a virgin. 786 00:50:04,654 --> 00:50:07,724 Oh, don't forget your vacuum cleaner. 787 00:50:07,792 --> 00:50:11,896 - And fly safely. - Never crashed in 1,000 years. 788 00:50:14,031 --> 00:50:16,666 Shut up! 789 00:50:18,136 --> 00:50:19,837 A baby! 790 00:50:22,940 --> 00:50:26,643 The one that's not curious will never know anything. 791 00:50:59,811 --> 00:51:02,379 She's a witch! 792 00:51:02,445 --> 00:51:06,784 Why has that never ever occurred to me before? 793 00:51:06,851 --> 00:51:09,921 That bitch would never have touched a broomstick 794 00:51:09,987 --> 00:51:11,454 for cleaning! 795 00:51:13,124 --> 00:51:16,359 How can I catch her? 796 00:51:19,096 --> 00:51:21,833 Come to Bea! 797 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,402 Giddy-up! 798 00:51:25,468 --> 00:51:27,537 - Hey! - Yee-haw! 799 00:51:28,471 --> 00:51:30,507 What the f...? 800 00:51:30,574 --> 00:51:32,475 Come back, you horse thief! 801 00:51:59,237 --> 00:52:03,440 So, I just pushed my rickety bike up the hill for nothing. 802 00:52:03,506 --> 00:52:05,076 See you soon, Miss Hermann. 803 00:52:07,945 --> 00:52:11,581 But Dr. Fischer. Why are you racing off like a stallion? 804 00:52:11,648 --> 00:52:14,051 That was the mayor's assistant. They are in the cinema. 805 00:52:14,118 --> 00:52:15,619 Oh. Which movie? 806 00:52:15,685 --> 00:52:17,221 Do I look like Variety? 807 00:52:17,288 --> 00:52:19,522 Let's just hope he's got the brooch. 808 00:52:19,589 --> 00:52:20,925 Oh. 809 00:52:33,170 --> 00:52:35,739 Be greeted, your fishy highness. 810 00:52:35,806 --> 00:52:37,975 King of the Seas, vicious nymphs, 811 00:52:38,042 --> 00:52:42,479 what a true pleasure it is to see you. 812 00:52:42,545 --> 00:52:46,951 Yadda yadda! Cut the blabbering and fork over the runt. 813 00:52:47,018 --> 00:52:49,686 Here it is, Your Majesty. 814 00:52:49,754 --> 00:52:52,089 Oooh. 815 00:52:52,156 --> 00:52:55,659 Mmm. 816 00:53:01,598 --> 00:53:04,634 Nice and soft, with crunchy bones. 817 00:53:04,701 --> 00:53:06,170 Bon appétit! 818 00:53:21,852 --> 00:53:24,288 And now you've had your lunch, 819 00:53:24,355 --> 00:53:28,692 I don't mean to nag here, but what about my reward? 820 00:53:28,759 --> 00:53:31,829 Get up, you slimy kiss-ass! 821 00:53:31,896 --> 00:53:34,832 What is it, you irritating toad? 822 00:53:34,899 --> 00:53:38,803 I'm looking for the Great Book of Spells! 823 00:53:39,736 --> 00:53:42,807 Hm! Huh. 824 00:53:42,873 --> 00:53:45,542 Rumble mumble, water spell. 825 00:53:45,608 --> 00:53:48,079 Where is the book that opens hell? 826 00:53:52,283 --> 00:53:55,685 Look what got caught in my net! 827 00:53:55,753 --> 00:53:58,255 The story of Burkhard Keller! 828 00:53:58,322 --> 00:54:01,192 That place is not far from here. 829 00:54:01,258 --> 00:54:05,196 It's in the city of the finless ones. 830 00:54:05,262 --> 00:54:09,233 - Now, splash off! - I thank you, observant master. 831 00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:11,235 Gotcha, horse thief! 832 00:54:11,302 --> 00:54:13,570 Oh, monsieur, please be quiet, I beg you! 833 00:54:13,636 --> 00:54:16,606 I'm calling the cops immediately, you stupid cow! 834 00:54:16,673 --> 00:54:18,776 Humans? 835 00:54:18,843 --> 00:54:21,578 Finless ones at my lake? 836 00:54:21,644 --> 00:54:23,781 My fat neighbor? 837 00:54:24,982 --> 00:54:27,251 Time for some fishing! 838 00:54:28,618 --> 00:54:31,288 Dessert time, my little ghoulies. 839 00:54:33,891 --> 00:54:37,194 Feast, my daughters, feast!! 840 00:54:44,667 --> 00:54:47,004 Oh, my God! 841 00:54:47,071 --> 00:54:49,306 Yummy! Stop right there! 842 00:54:58,883 --> 00:55:01,684 Mm! Ca va être bon tout ca. 843 00:55:04,355 --> 00:55:06,891 Gendarmerie Baden-Baden. 844 00:55:06,957 --> 00:55:11,328 Hello? Gendarmerie? I need your help. I'm being hunted. 845 00:55:12,830 --> 00:55:15,732 I'm being chased by a witch! She's after me! 846 00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,070 - She wants to kill me! - Calm down, madame. 847 00:55:19,136 --> 00:55:21,571 Breathe in and tell me the whole story. 848 00:55:24,041 --> 00:55:26,043 Okay, listen. 849 00:55:26,110 --> 00:55:27,644 I'm in the woods of Baden-Baden 850 00:55:27,710 --> 00:55:29,880 and I saw my neighbor, Vanessa Mayer, 851 00:55:29,947 --> 00:55:32,083 and the evil frog of Mummel Lake. 852 00:55:32,149 --> 00:55:34,919 And they were eating a baby! 853 00:55:34,985 --> 00:55:36,719 Hm? 854 00:55:37,822 --> 00:55:38,923 Stop slurping. 855 00:55:38,989 --> 00:55:40,925 She wants to kill me! 856 00:55:40,991 --> 00:55:43,094 Please help me! 857 00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,362 Au revoir. 858 00:55:45,429 --> 00:55:47,832 Oh, what is it this time? 859 00:55:54,038 --> 00:55:56,874 This will be the last time you put your fat nose 860 00:55:56,941 --> 00:55:58,876 in other people's business! 861 00:56:08,886 --> 00:56:10,955 Witches must be tortured! 862 00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,162 Can't that bitch ever die? 863 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:27,004 What? Seriously? You expect my brooch? 864 00:56:27,071 --> 00:56:28,839 - Yes. - I can't allow that. 865 00:56:28,906 --> 00:56:32,076 This brooch has been in my family for 700 years. 866 00:56:32,143 --> 00:56:35,012 In fact, I feel I'm naked without it. 867 00:56:35,079 --> 00:56:38,149 Very naked without it. 868 00:56:38,215 --> 00:56:42,719 How terrible. Such an... awful day. 869 00:56:42,786 --> 00:56:44,755 I'm feeling so depressed. 870 00:56:44,822 --> 00:56:46,423 You must know, yesterday in the woods, 871 00:56:46,490 --> 00:56:48,759 we made a truly historical find. 872 00:56:48,826 --> 00:56:51,896 Yeah, that's the reason we need his brooch. 873 00:56:51,962 --> 00:56:53,998 A hot stud like you doesn't need jewelry. 874 00:56:54,064 --> 00:56:57,835 You looked really handsome in the photo, Mayor Keller. 875 00:56:57,902 --> 00:57:00,838 Yes, that's true, quite true. Where's my powder? 876 00:57:00,905 --> 00:57:03,740 Yes, but what you both don't know, 877 00:57:03,807 --> 00:57:07,044 this morning, the statue was stolen 878 00:57:07,111 --> 00:57:10,014 and the watchman was found dead. 879 00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:11,248 Oh, my God! 880 00:57:11,315 --> 00:57:14,151 Oh, how is that possible? 881 00:57:14,218 --> 00:57:17,121 Yes, that's so bad for my image. 882 00:57:17,188 --> 00:57:20,024 That means... it has already begun. 883 00:57:20,090 --> 00:57:22,760 - The demon is amongst us! - What demon? 884 00:57:22,826 --> 00:57:24,962 The demon from the Dark Ages. 885 00:57:25,029 --> 00:57:27,765 It looked like the marquess. 886 00:57:27,831 --> 00:57:29,300 Petrified, of course. 887 00:57:29,366 --> 00:57:32,803 At first, it was a statue. 888 00:57:33,837 --> 00:57:36,907 But... now, it's back. 889 00:57:36,974 --> 00:57:38,275 It is... It is... 890 00:57:38,342 --> 00:57:40,244 - It is a changeling! - Oh! 891 00:57:40,311 --> 00:57:44,782 It could look like... look like a... an office clerk! 892 00:57:46,050 --> 00:57:49,920 Over here! Thank you. That's a headline! 893 00:57:49,987 --> 00:57:50,988 My image! 894 00:57:55,993 --> 00:57:58,796 Monsieur mayor. Monsieur Keller, say something. 895 00:57:58,862 --> 00:58:02,967 - Mayor Keller. What's happened? - Go away, go away. 896 00:58:05,336 --> 00:58:08,839 Does anyone have smelling salts? 897 00:58:12,142 --> 00:58:14,445 So, is your aunt still guarding the hatch? 898 00:58:18,882 --> 00:58:20,918 Yeah, and she's still acting like a freak. 899 00:58:20,985 --> 00:58:22,219 Maybe she's going insane. 900 00:58:22,286 --> 00:58:24,955 You should take her to the loony bin. 901 00:58:25,022 --> 00:58:28,058 Stop it, Charlie. She's really freaking me out! 902 00:58:28,125 --> 00:58:30,961 Why don't you jump out the window? 903 00:58:31,028 --> 00:58:34,498 It's much too high, but we have a ladder next to the shed. 904 00:58:34,565 --> 00:58:36,233 All right, Rapunzel, 905 00:58:36,300 --> 00:58:38,369 I'll have to come over and save your pretty ass. 906 00:58:38,435 --> 00:58:42,473 Please hurry up. My mom could be home any minute. 907 00:58:42,539 --> 00:58:46,310 She was so creepy. She looked just like a monster. 908 00:58:48,479 --> 00:58:51,181 I'm getting closer! 909 00:58:58,355 --> 00:59:00,124 Bonjour! 910 00:59:01,125 --> 00:59:03,193 Hm? 911 00:59:07,598 --> 00:59:11,535 Where is the book? 912 00:59:15,072 --> 00:59:17,341 Oh, look! There it is. 913 00:59:17,408 --> 00:59:22,079 The Great Book of Spells! 914 00:59:22,146 --> 00:59:24,481 Have you missed old trollie? 915 00:59:24,548 --> 00:59:27,284 My precious love. 916 00:59:29,286 --> 00:59:32,323 Oh, my... My book? 917 00:59:34,158 --> 00:59:38,128 Agh! Son of a... I still need the key! 918 00:59:44,234 --> 00:59:47,438 No key! 919 00:59:48,639 --> 00:59:52,076 I need to open you up today. 920 00:59:52,142 --> 00:59:55,045 It only works on midsummer's night. 921 01:00:05,322 --> 01:00:07,524 A-a-a-gh! 922 01:00:10,661 --> 01:00:13,464 - Do you have an ouchy? - Yes, I have an ouchy! 923 01:00:17,601 --> 01:00:20,604 A caution sign would help, you stupid oaf! 924 01:00:37,654 --> 01:00:41,525 Are you seasoning our entrance path, you psycho bitch? 925 01:00:41,592 --> 01:00:44,395 You cannot kill ants with salt. Use baking soda. 926 01:00:44,461 --> 01:00:48,232 This line of Himalayan salt is not for fighting ants. 927 01:00:48,298 --> 01:00:51,635 It's for demons, nymphs, wicked witches. 928 01:00:51,702 --> 01:00:54,972 None of them should be able to pass through it. 929 01:00:55,038 --> 01:00:56,673 It's here, in black and white. 930 01:00:59,042 --> 01:01:01,478 In a vegetarian cookbook? 931 01:01:01,545 --> 01:01:04,248 You blind bat! It's not just recipes. 932 01:01:04,314 --> 01:01:06,417 Ah, right, here it is. 933 01:01:06,483 --> 01:01:09,653 "If your fat wife starts seasoning the steps with salt, 934 01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:13,557 the husband should really start to worry." 935 01:01:13,624 --> 01:01:15,659 He should pack his bags and go! 936 01:01:15,726 --> 01:01:19,463 Here she comes. 937 01:01:19,530 --> 01:01:22,733 - The witch! - Oh! Mon dieu! 938 01:01:22,801 --> 01:01:27,237 - Stay here, dumbass! - Bonjour, Madame Mayer. 939 01:01:27,304 --> 01:01:28,605 I apologize for my wife's behavior. 940 01:01:28,672 --> 01:01:31,308 For years, she is "ahahahahaha!" 941 01:01:34,445 --> 01:01:36,980 Oh, my God! 942 01:01:47,090 --> 01:01:48,492 What is this? 943 01:01:49,794 --> 01:01:51,495 Salt? 944 01:01:51,562 --> 01:01:54,799 You're not as dumb as you look, bitch! 945 01:01:54,866 --> 01:01:57,701 But I'm still one step ahead. 946 01:02:07,144 --> 01:02:10,147 I'm coming back for you! 947 01:02:17,421 --> 01:02:20,491 Madame Penile, did you see Vanessa exit here? 948 01:02:20,557 --> 01:02:22,726 Well, she looked drugged. 949 01:02:22,794 --> 01:02:25,128 Her eyes were red, like cocktail tomatoes! 950 01:02:25,195 --> 01:02:27,698 And then she completely lost it. 951 01:02:31,502 --> 01:02:32,937 I can't believe it! 952 01:02:33,003 --> 01:02:36,373 Dr. Fischer, Dr. Fischer! She must have run off with the book! 953 01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:39,476 - I can't find it anywhere! - You want your pigsty cleaned? 954 01:02:39,543 --> 01:02:40,812 Don't forget the loo! 955 01:02:40,879 --> 01:02:44,147 I hate wearing those itchy diapers all the time! 956 01:02:44,214 --> 01:02:46,851 Dr. Fischer, you really wear diapers? 957 01:02:55,158 --> 01:02:57,829 Come on, now! Like you mean it! 958 01:02:57,896 --> 01:02:59,530 Hurry up! 959 01:03:05,669 --> 01:03:09,273 Oh. We have to get it open without the key! 960 01:03:18,950 --> 01:03:22,486 Troll magic won't help us here! 961 01:03:22,553 --> 01:03:26,758 We need... We need a human wizard! 962 01:03:26,824 --> 01:03:30,661 You need a wizard? Why didn't you mention that before? 963 01:03:30,727 --> 01:03:34,264 How can I mention it if it's something I don't know I need? 964 01:03:34,331 --> 01:03:38,268 But you do know a wizard, Vladimir Kaiser. 965 01:03:42,739 --> 01:03:43,707 Hm? 966 01:03:52,282 --> 01:03:57,154 A-ha! Monsieur Kaiser! It's good to see you. 967 01:03:57,220 --> 01:03:58,722 The pleasure is mine. 968 01:03:58,790 --> 01:04:01,258 Monsieur Kaiser, I regret to tell you 969 01:04:01,325 --> 01:04:04,294 that your check is worth shit! 970 01:04:04,361 --> 01:04:07,731 For this reason, we've been forced to vacate your room. 971 01:04:07,799 --> 01:04:09,366 But that's absurd! 972 01:04:10,734 --> 01:04:12,837 Do you know who you are talking to? 973 01:04:12,904 --> 01:04:15,940 I should be knocking you silly, sir. 974 01:04:16,007 --> 01:04:17,775 I'm really very sorry, 975 01:04:17,842 --> 01:04:22,880 but The Arabello Show sent us this message. 976 01:04:22,947 --> 01:04:27,317 "Cancel the room of this... bungler!" 977 01:04:32,857 --> 01:04:35,459 My advice, go somewhere else. 978 01:04:35,525 --> 01:04:37,694 You're not welcome. Hm! 979 01:04:39,797 --> 01:04:42,900 Hey, Vlady, old boy. Come on up and have a drink. 980 01:04:50,407 --> 01:04:55,980 You have it goodski. You have room, and you won toothy cuckoo. 981 01:04:56,047 --> 01:04:58,850 You're the winner. I'm just the middle fracking loser. 982 01:04:58,916 --> 01:05:01,819 Vladimir, you're no loser. 983 01:05:01,886 --> 01:05:03,420 All you do is believe in yourself 984 01:05:03,487 --> 01:05:05,790 and anything is possible. 985 01:05:05,857 --> 01:05:09,426 And you know what? You could be a real wizard? 986 01:05:09,493 --> 01:05:11,395 Well, if you say so. 987 01:05:14,932 --> 01:05:17,769 Hey, Natalja! 988 01:05:17,835 --> 01:05:20,938 Ah, dearest Juliet, it's your Romeo, not some stupid lark. 989 01:05:21,005 --> 01:05:24,008 This is more Rumpelstiltskin than Romeo and Juliet. 990 01:05:24,075 --> 01:05:25,442 Here we go. 991 01:05:28,545 --> 01:05:31,248 Hi. 992 01:05:31,314 --> 01:05:33,751 Everyone in this house is going crazy. 993 01:05:33,818 --> 01:05:35,920 Helga is acting like a guard dog, 994 01:05:35,987 --> 01:05:38,422 and my mother looks like Freddy Krueger 995 01:05:38,488 --> 01:05:40,925 wearing a crazy clown wig. 996 01:05:40,992 --> 01:05:44,461 Ah, come on. Your mother's hair doesn't look that bad. 997 01:05:44,528 --> 01:05:46,430 Stop it. You know that's not the point. 998 01:05:46,496 --> 01:05:48,398 She's acting insane. 999 01:05:48,465 --> 01:05:51,803 After you were gone, she was laughing like a maniac! 1000 01:05:51,869 --> 01:05:54,939 So what? Your laugh also sounds maniacal. 1001 01:05:55,006 --> 01:05:59,342 Stop it! You remember my mirror? The pretty silver one? 1002 01:05:59,409 --> 01:06:01,946 It didn't reflect my mother. 1003 01:06:02,013 --> 01:06:06,483 It reflected something else, something hideous. 1004 01:06:06,550 --> 01:06:12,023 Okay, okay. Now listen, your mom is not your mom. 1005 01:06:12,090 --> 01:06:14,291 Yes, she might look like your mom, 1006 01:06:14,357 --> 01:06:17,360 but in reality she's a... 1007 01:06:17,427 --> 01:06:19,663 m-monster! 1008 01:06:20,731 --> 01:06:23,433 You're not taking me seriously. 1009 01:06:23,500 --> 01:06:25,036 Okay, come on. 1010 01:06:25,103 --> 01:06:28,238 I've got something to take your mind off all this. 1011 01:06:30,141 --> 01:06:33,310 Oooh. You're so cool. 1012 01:06:33,376 --> 01:06:34,544 Hm? 1013 01:06:42,419 --> 01:06:46,389 First, a warm-up drink, and later we'll party full-on. 1014 01:06:47,524 --> 01:06:49,593 Can't wait. 1015 01:06:55,699 --> 01:06:57,501 Hey, bartender, 1016 01:06:57,567 --> 01:07:00,104 can you pour another whiskey for me and my new friend, 1017 01:07:00,171 --> 01:07:02,572 the mighty wizard? 1018 01:07:02,639 --> 01:07:07,477 A long time no see, Vlad the Impaler! 1019 01:07:07,544 --> 01:07:10,647 Two angels! 1020 01:07:10,714 --> 01:07:14,384 - Mm! - Madame Mayer, ooh la-la! 1021 01:07:15,787 --> 01:07:18,388 Would you ladies like to have a drink with us? 1022 01:07:18,455 --> 01:07:20,024 - Yeah, yeah, yeah! - Huh? 1023 01:07:20,091 --> 01:07:23,360 Oh, hello, there. Helga. 50 years and still single. 1024 01:07:23,426 --> 01:07:24,528 Of course. 1025 01:07:24,594 --> 01:07:26,596 Oh-ho. Bonjour. 1026 01:07:26,663 --> 01:07:28,498 I'm Michael Waits, from America. 1027 01:07:28,565 --> 01:07:30,500 Bet he's got a long-bed pick-up. 1028 01:07:30,567 --> 01:07:33,603 - Let's go have a drink. - Or six or seven! 1029 01:07:36,573 --> 01:07:40,443 I heard you're looking for a place to stay tonight. 1030 01:07:40,510 --> 01:07:43,747 You really can read my mind-ski. 1031 01:07:43,815 --> 01:07:46,550 What about your place? 1032 01:07:46,616 --> 01:07:50,755 This is Baden-Baden, the city of love, 1033 01:07:50,822 --> 01:07:53,623 where the women always cut to the chase. 1034 01:07:53,690 --> 01:07:55,392 Ooh. 1035 01:07:55,458 --> 01:07:57,527 We have business deal to finish. 1036 01:07:57,594 --> 01:08:00,564 My magic wand is waiting for yoo-oo! 1037 01:08:00,630 --> 01:08:04,634 Let us, you say, begin with that, hm? 1038 01:08:04,701 --> 01:08:07,604 What are you doing to my son? My new friend? 1039 01:08:07,671 --> 01:08:09,874 We're just giving him some ice cream! 1040 01:08:11,608 --> 01:08:14,111 But I ordered whiskey! 1041 01:08:14,178 --> 01:08:17,547 I don't think that would be appropriate here. 1042 01:08:21,853 --> 01:08:23,620 - Cheers. - Cheers. 1043 01:08:35,699 --> 01:08:38,903 - Are you okay? - My lungs are full of whiskey. 1044 01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:46,443 She took off, and Charlie's with her. 1045 01:08:46,509 --> 01:08:48,212 What? Where are they? 1046 01:08:48,279 --> 01:08:51,916 - In the juke-joint next door. - But didn't you lock them in? 1047 01:08:51,983 --> 01:08:56,754 She must have secretly flown out the window. 1048 01:08:56,821 --> 01:08:58,990 Sorry, guys. We have to leave now. 1049 01:08:59,056 --> 01:09:03,526 We have to get some ingredients. We'll be back in 30 seconds. 1050 01:09:03,593 --> 01:09:05,930 Uh, yes. Um... Maybe 40! 1051 01:09:08,531 --> 01:09:11,235 My dear Vladimir. 1052 01:09:11,302 --> 01:09:14,638 I can see that this is gonna be a long night. 1053 01:09:20,811 --> 01:09:22,646 Vanessa! 1054 01:09:26,583 --> 01:09:27,852 Ciao! 1055 01:09:32,757 --> 01:09:36,894 He's here. I can smell the virginity. 1056 01:09:36,961 --> 01:09:40,031 I can smell it in the air. 1057 01:09:40,097 --> 01:09:42,499 Go and get them. 1058 01:09:42,565 --> 01:09:43,968 Okay. 1059 01:09:48,105 --> 01:09:51,741 You were right, Charlie. Getting drunk is good for me. 1060 01:09:51,809 --> 01:09:53,543 Yeah, that's how I roll. 1061 01:09:53,610 --> 01:09:54,946 That's why I like you. 1062 01:09:55,012 --> 01:09:58,783 Yeah, everyone does. 1063 01:09:58,849 --> 01:10:02,086 - And I like gin and tonic. - I'll get you one. 1064 01:10:19,971 --> 01:10:23,673 Vanessa, I've found the little bugger. 1065 01:10:23,740 --> 01:10:26,177 Now, watch and learn! 1066 01:10:30,214 --> 01:10:32,116 Salut, Charlie. 1067 01:10:34,085 --> 01:10:36,053 Uh... Madame Mayer? 1068 01:10:52,003 --> 01:10:54,905 ♪ What is your secret? ♪ 1069 01:10:56,307 --> 01:10:58,109 ♪ Where do we go? ♪ 1070 01:10:58,175 --> 01:10:59,844 Ooh! 1071 01:10:59,910 --> 01:11:03,713 ♪ End all this history ♪ 1072 01:11:03,781 --> 01:11:06,183 ♪ I wanna know ♪ 1073 01:11:07,918 --> 01:11:10,955 ♪ I can't get higher ♪ 1074 01:11:11,022 --> 01:11:13,891 ♪ This feels too right ♪ 1075 01:11:15,259 --> 01:11:18,728 ♪ Is this a lie or ♪ 1076 01:11:18,796 --> 01:11:21,298 ♪ The end of time? ♪ 1077 01:11:23,167 --> 01:11:26,703 ♪ My red magic eyes ♪ 1078 01:11:27,805 --> 01:11:31,008 ♪ Are sucking your soul ♪ 1079 01:11:31,075 --> 01:11:35,112 ♪ Your wishful delight ♪ 1080 01:11:35,179 --> 01:11:38,215 ♪ Is what is my own ♪ 1081 01:11:56,367 --> 01:11:58,102 Here we go! 1082 01:12:06,911 --> 01:12:08,112 Mom? 1083 01:12:09,213 --> 01:12:11,248 - Charlie? - Excuse me! 1084 01:12:13,117 --> 01:12:14,952 Vanessa. 1085 01:12:26,130 --> 01:12:28,933 Ooh-hoo-hoo! Hey, kiddo. 1086 01:12:28,999 --> 01:12:30,868 You never had sex 1087 01:12:30,935 --> 01:12:33,838 and now you're trying to take this hot MILF home with you? 1088 01:12:33,904 --> 01:12:35,940 You'd love to pork her, huh? 1089 01:12:36,006 --> 01:12:38,442 Now, look and learn, dickless. 1090 01:12:38,509 --> 01:12:42,079 Hey, hotty. Bet you just never get enough. 1091 01:12:42,146 --> 01:12:45,916 Well, my tongue lasts forever, so open wide. 1092 01:12:58,963 --> 01:13:00,297 Aagh! 1093 01:13:02,133 --> 01:13:04,135 Come on! Move it! 1094 01:13:17,314 --> 01:13:19,250 Still available! 1095 01:13:20,351 --> 01:13:22,719 If you catch me, you can have me! 1096 01:13:26,223 --> 01:13:29,393 - The 30 seconds are up. - Woo, the lady and the wolf! 1097 01:13:29,460 --> 01:13:32,363 That was long 30 seconds. Where have you been making out? 1098 01:13:32,429 --> 01:13:35,065 We were at the discotheque next door. 1099 01:13:35,132 --> 01:13:40,137 It was wonderful. So much fun! Can I, uh, poke my nose in this? 1100 01:13:40,204 --> 01:13:42,306 Cut the crap! 1101 01:13:44,842 --> 01:13:47,011 Did I tell you that I'm single? 1102 01:13:47,077 --> 01:13:48,812 You know, you say that a lot. 1103 01:13:48,879 --> 01:13:53,017 Cousin Helga, wizard, we have to go. 1104 01:13:53,083 --> 01:13:56,453 Come on, Vanessa. Michael just asked me to marry him. 1105 01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:58,489 Charlie's waiting downstairs. We have to go! 1106 01:13:58,556 --> 01:14:00,291 Who do you think you are? 1107 01:14:00,357 --> 01:14:02,459 You won't be my bridesmaid. 1108 01:14:02,526 --> 01:14:05,462 The alcohol must be why the spell doesn't work. 1109 01:14:05,529 --> 01:14:09,366 - What did you say? - What I said? 1110 01:14:09,433 --> 01:14:12,203 I cast this spell to get her under my control 1111 01:14:12,269 --> 01:14:13,804 and now it's not working any more. 1112 01:14:13,871 --> 01:14:15,372 Once I've freed my brothers, 1113 01:14:15,439 --> 01:14:18,175 your flesh will be the first that we feast on. 1114 01:14:33,190 --> 01:14:35,326 You know, I love alcohol. 1115 01:14:35,392 --> 01:14:37,294 Yeah, me too. 1116 01:14:37,361 --> 01:14:39,496 I'm Michael Waits, from America. 1117 01:14:39,563 --> 01:14:44,468 - And my name is Helga Wolf! - My best film is Troll 2. 1118 01:14:47,871 --> 01:14:49,340 Where did you learn that? 1119 01:14:49,406 --> 01:14:52,276 I have all sorts of hidden talents. 1120 01:14:52,343 --> 01:14:55,346 Oh, finally! There's my book! 1121 01:14:55,412 --> 01:14:58,148 Oh, it look more magical than ever. 1122 01:14:58,215 --> 01:15:00,284 So, she really did steal it! 1123 01:15:01,585 --> 01:15:03,354 At last. 1124 01:15:04,555 --> 01:15:07,324 Oh, let's see what happens. 1125 01:15:07,391 --> 01:15:09,994 Ooh! Oh, fascinating! 1126 01:15:11,428 --> 01:15:15,299 600 years confined did I lie. 1127 01:15:15,366 --> 01:15:18,002 Now it is time for the curses to fly. 1128 01:15:18,068 --> 01:15:23,007 How cool is that? It even knows how to rhyme. 1129 01:15:23,073 --> 01:15:25,976 - Bravo, my dear friends. - Huh? 1130 01:15:26,043 --> 01:15:27,845 My boy, which way to bar? 1131 01:15:31,515 --> 01:15:35,252 You two better go outside, right away. 1132 01:15:35,319 --> 01:15:37,521 You not telling me this swinger bar. 1133 01:15:38,589 --> 01:15:40,457 I spank you later. 1134 01:15:40,524 --> 01:15:42,926 I hope little Rumburak performs in group session. 1135 01:15:42,993 --> 01:15:45,429 - Thank you for opening my book. - Hold on! 1136 01:15:45,496 --> 01:15:49,566 What do you mean, "your book"? It's mine. I paid for it. 1137 01:15:49,633 --> 01:15:52,503 It'll be the last time you paid for anything, darling. 1138 01:15:53,570 --> 01:15:59,510 Omold, gemirl, shamall, bumurn! 1139 01:16:01,412 --> 01:16:03,280 Tippie! 1140 01:16:03,347 --> 01:16:05,949 Oh, gosh! You! 1141 01:16:07,618 --> 01:16:08,719 You are the demon! 1142 01:16:08,787 --> 01:16:10,988 Doc, You're a little off. 1143 01:16:11,055 --> 01:16:12,489 She's a witch. 1144 01:16:19,963 --> 01:16:22,132 What an awful mess this is! 1145 01:16:22,199 --> 01:16:26,904 Sorry about the gunk, but you should thank me for that. 1146 01:16:26,970 --> 01:16:30,541 - Oh, really? - You can kill a witch by fire, 1147 01:16:30,607 --> 01:16:34,111 or by a point blank shot to the head! 1148 01:16:36,480 --> 01:16:40,050 Do I look like Sabrina the Teenager? 1149 01:16:40,117 --> 01:16:43,053 I'm not a witch. I'm a troll. 1150 01:16:52,029 --> 01:16:54,565 Where the heck did you put the real Vanessa? 1151 01:16:56,100 --> 01:16:57,668 She's in here. 1152 01:16:57,735 --> 01:16:59,336 - Klaus? - I can hear her. 1153 01:16:59,403 --> 01:17:00,070 - Dr. Fischer? - Can you hear that too? 1154 01:17:00,137 --> 01:17:03,140 She just called my name. 1155 01:17:05,509 --> 01:17:08,445 No one can stop me now. 1156 01:17:12,216 --> 01:17:15,119 Hold this, and enjoy my performance. 1157 01:17:18,589 --> 01:17:23,227 Oh, great book of spells and wizardry... 1158 01:17:23,293 --> 01:17:27,631 show me the answers and give advice to me. 1159 01:17:27,698 --> 01:17:30,601 How can I open the gate to the worlds? 1160 01:17:30,667 --> 01:17:36,507 Wake up and give me the enchanted words. 1161 01:17:36,573 --> 01:17:41,211 To open the portal listen right, it must occur on solstice night. 1162 01:17:41,278 --> 01:17:45,215 Only the blood of a dunce, virgin and pure 1163 01:17:45,282 --> 01:17:48,285 will reveal the words, that is for sure. 1164 01:17:52,322 --> 01:17:56,560 You'd go home with anyone, my little Romeo. 1165 01:17:56,627 --> 01:18:01,131 I'm so horny, and your daughter's giving me blue balls. 1166 01:18:01,198 --> 01:18:03,667 - How about her mama? - But I'm horny, too! 1167 01:18:03,734 --> 01:18:06,036 I like it rough. 1168 01:18:07,738 --> 01:18:09,206 No! 1169 01:18:12,075 --> 01:18:16,680 Don't be scared. This will be magical! 1170 01:18:16,747 --> 01:18:21,318 Wumall, rumound, frumee, prisonee. 1171 01:18:21,385 --> 01:18:23,153 Wumall, 1172 01:18:23,220 --> 01:18:25,389 rumound, frumee, 1173 01:18:25,456 --> 01:18:27,357 prisonee! 1174 01:18:29,761 --> 01:18:34,164 Here they come! 1175 01:18:34,231 --> 01:18:36,200 It worked! 1176 01:18:38,837 --> 01:18:41,672 It's so good to see you, my brothers! 1177 01:18:41,738 --> 01:18:44,374 Let the era of trolls begin! 1178 01:18:49,746 --> 01:18:51,648 Hocus pocus. 1179 01:18:55,820 --> 01:18:58,088 Trixie fixie. 1180 01:19:01,291 --> 01:19:02,726 I healed your wound 1181 01:19:02,794 --> 01:19:06,330 so you'd look a tad more tasty, young Charlie. 1182 01:19:06,396 --> 01:19:10,400 Because you will be the welcome meal for my brothers. 1183 01:19:10,467 --> 01:19:13,737 I just have to activate this key. 1184 01:19:13,805 --> 01:19:15,840 We have to stop the troll! 1185 01:19:15,907 --> 01:19:18,108 But I could've sworn she was a witch. 1186 01:19:18,175 --> 01:19:21,211 Only in this magical book can we find the answers. 1187 01:19:21,278 --> 01:19:23,480 But what can we do? 1188 01:19:23,547 --> 01:19:25,783 Are you the wizard or me? 1189 01:19:25,850 --> 01:19:28,118 Read out the spell! Petrify her! 1190 01:19:29,186 --> 01:19:31,388 Listen, troll! 1191 01:19:31,455 --> 01:19:35,092 Mamai, rumall, lamid, zoomoon, shamuz! 1192 01:19:38,295 --> 01:19:41,164 Was that supposed to be magic? 1193 01:19:41,231 --> 01:19:43,567 You're so incredibly bad at this. 1194 01:19:46,270 --> 01:19:47,805 You're making me laugh! 1195 01:19:57,281 --> 01:20:00,183 Vladimir, believe in yourself. 1196 01:20:00,250 --> 01:20:02,787 You are a real wizard. 1197 01:20:02,854 --> 01:20:04,889 Anything is possible. 1198 01:20:04,956 --> 01:20:07,324 You do have magical powers. 1199 01:20:09,493 --> 01:20:12,496 I will banish you, creature of the night, go hence away. 1200 01:20:12,563 --> 01:20:16,633 Don't be ridiculous. I'm the one throwing the party here. 1201 01:20:16,700 --> 01:20:18,302 Amai, 1202 01:20:18,368 --> 01:20:21,505 tumurn, demi, tomoo, stomone! 1203 01:20:23,340 --> 01:20:25,843 But I don't wanna get stoned again! 1204 01:20:25,910 --> 01:20:30,147 - Nooooo! - Did you see that? 1205 01:20:37,354 --> 01:20:42,559 Ah! The real Vanessa and Natalja should be inside this amulet. 1206 01:20:42,626 --> 01:20:45,329 We must set them free. 1207 01:20:46,597 --> 01:20:49,399 If you don't mind, I got it. 1208 01:21:06,650 --> 01:21:08,518 - Mom! - Natalja! 1209 01:21:10,587 --> 01:21:12,422 Natalja? 1210 01:21:12,489 --> 01:21:13,624 Oh! 1211 01:21:15,459 --> 01:21:17,628 - Have you lost weight, Vanessa? - Oh, Klaus! 1212 01:21:17,694 --> 01:21:19,496 Is it really you? 1213 01:21:19,563 --> 01:21:22,399 I tried to get your attention. Didn't you hear me? 1214 01:21:24,401 --> 01:21:26,269 Ah! Ooh! 1215 01:21:26,336 --> 01:21:28,405 Nothing happened between me and your mom. 1216 01:21:28,472 --> 01:21:31,608 I told you it wasn't my mom. That was a real troll. 1217 01:21:31,675 --> 01:21:34,277 What a lovely gnome for the patio! 1218 01:21:34,344 --> 01:21:36,747 I'm Dr. Oz. I mean Dr. Fischer. 1219 01:21:36,814 --> 01:21:39,549 And what a nice umbrella holder. 1220 01:21:39,616 --> 01:21:43,487 Dee-dee-dee-dee! 1221 01:21:43,553 --> 01:21:45,757 Oh, not again! 1222 01:21:45,823 --> 01:21:47,759 Oh! 1223 01:21:56,533 --> 01:22:00,237 - Hello. - Oh, hello. 1224 01:22:00,303 --> 01:22:05,575 By the way, which year are we? Is this the Renaissance? 1225 01:22:05,642 --> 01:22:09,881 Oh, my gosh, the Marquess of Baden! 1226 01:22:09,947 --> 01:22:13,517 She also was a prisoner in the troll's amulet! 1227 01:22:13,583 --> 01:22:16,453 You remind me of my mother, God bless her. 1228 01:22:16,520 --> 01:22:18,890 Oh, how very charming of you. 1229 01:22:18,956 --> 01:22:20,557 And you remind me 1230 01:22:20,624 --> 01:22:24,829 of a big fat yeast cake that's about to explode. 1231 01:22:24,896 --> 01:22:27,664 Wait, just a moment. I think he looks more like 1232 01:22:27,731 --> 01:22:30,701 an old-fashioned donut with powdered sugar. 1233 01:22:30,768 --> 01:22:32,669 Is this a pastry shop? 1234 01:22:32,736 --> 01:22:35,405 Send for a carriage, I want to go home. 1235 01:22:35,472 --> 01:22:37,875 - You bitch. - No, the tart is on the mark. 1236 01:22:37,942 --> 01:22:40,310 Let's put her in an old folk's home. 1237 01:22:40,377 --> 01:22:41,745 She'll fit right in. 1238 01:22:43,613 --> 01:22:45,083 But where? 1239 01:22:45,149 --> 01:22:50,420 Talk about me doing magic. It makes me seem very sexy, nyet? 1240 01:22:50,487 --> 01:22:54,324 "Turn woman into chicken." "Grow salad on someone's back"? 1241 01:22:54,391 --> 01:22:57,527 Disgusting! Oh, a-ha! 1242 01:22:57,594 --> 01:23:01,631 "How to send a soul back to the Middling Ages." 1243 01:23:01,698 --> 01:23:03,633 Klaus, quick, give me your phone, 1244 01:23:03,700 --> 01:23:05,903 or Helga won't believe a word I say. 1245 01:23:05,970 --> 01:23:08,005 And now, smile. 1246 01:23:11,776 --> 01:23:14,678 - Look at that! - You sure look stupid. 1247 01:23:14,745 --> 01:23:16,546 Thank you so much. 1248 01:23:17,849 --> 01:23:20,584 Wizard, I am ready. 1249 01:23:20,650 --> 01:23:22,419 Huh! 1250 01:23:22,486 --> 01:23:24,789 - I insist on privacy. - Problemski nyet. 1251 01:23:28,926 --> 01:23:32,729 Nomow, bomook, mamake and shamape! 1252 01:23:32,797 --> 01:23:35,432 Tumurn bamack timime! 1253 01:23:35,499 --> 01:23:38,770 The frog king sent her! She's still hungry! 1254 01:23:38,836 --> 01:23:39,904 Get off me! 1255 01:23:39,971 --> 01:23:43,507 It's a nymph! Protect me! 1256 01:23:43,573 --> 01:23:45,609 You reek out of mouth like old... 1257 01:23:45,675 --> 01:23:48,880 Hm, if I'm still here, the big yeast cake 1258 01:23:48,946 --> 01:23:52,749 and his crazy blonde must be in the Middle Ages. 1259 01:23:52,817 --> 01:23:54,484 Uh-oh. 1260 01:24:15,773 --> 01:24:17,809 - What's going on? - I don't know. 1261 01:24:19,143 --> 01:24:22,013 She disappears! 1262 01:24:23,114 --> 01:24:25,348 She was over yonder. 1263 01:24:27,717 --> 01:24:32,622 Burkhart. Burkhart, my brother. What hath happened to thee? 1264 01:24:32,689 --> 01:24:34,992 Beware, Milord, they strike me as witchy siblings. 1265 01:24:35,059 --> 01:24:36,593 He's dead. 1266 01:24:37,962 --> 01:24:42,166 What have they done to you? You killed my brother! 1267 01:24:42,233 --> 01:24:43,968 Are you nuts? 1268 01:24:44,035 --> 01:24:47,905 This must be a misunderstanding, Monsieur...? 1269 01:24:47,972 --> 01:24:49,706 I am Engelhardt Keller. 1270 01:24:49,774 --> 01:24:51,108 Engelhardt Keller? 1271 01:24:53,845 --> 01:24:56,914 Then this must be Burkhart Keller. 1272 01:24:56,981 --> 01:24:58,748 Burkhart who? 1273 01:24:58,816 --> 01:25:01,853 The one with whom the whole story started. 1274 01:25:01,919 --> 01:25:04,989 And you are my prisoners. Guard, seize them! 1275 01:25:06,157 --> 01:25:08,960 - They're insane. - Hey! Oh! 1276 01:25:09,026 --> 01:25:10,360 Ow! 1277 01:25:15,166 --> 01:25:16,934 Wait! Wait! 1278 01:25:21,172 --> 01:25:23,774 You've got the wrong people. 1279 01:25:23,841 --> 01:25:26,010 - Ow! - And who's this wacko? 1280 01:25:26,077 --> 01:25:28,880 The Grand Inquisitor, Tomasso the Torturer. 1281 01:25:28,946 --> 01:25:31,481 I swear, Monsieur Keller! 1282 01:25:31,548 --> 01:25:35,753 'Twas a maiden in white who did murder your brother. 1283 01:25:35,820 --> 01:25:38,856 Then they shift their shape. They are sorcerers. 1284 01:25:38,923 --> 01:25:40,825 But we are not enforcerers. 1285 01:25:40,892 --> 01:25:45,997 Please, let me try to explain! You're making a huge mistake. 1286 01:25:46,063 --> 01:25:49,000 We are time travelers, isn't that pretty obvious? 1287 01:25:49,066 --> 01:25:50,968 What am I supposed to enforce here? 1288 01:25:51,035 --> 01:25:53,470 Do I look like I'll be doing Dirty Harry shit? 1289 01:25:53,536 --> 01:25:55,106 Hold thy tongue! 1290 01:25:56,073 --> 01:25:59,143 Silence! 1291 01:25:59,210 --> 01:26:02,213 Thou art accused of witchcraft, wicked vermin! 1292 01:26:04,982 --> 01:26:08,585 The next sunrise, you'll both be burnt crispy. 1293 01:26:08,652 --> 01:26:10,021 Are you crazy? 1294 01:26:10,087 --> 01:26:13,124 You can't do that. I'm a famous scientist! 1295 01:26:15,059 --> 01:26:17,061 I think they're like totally crazy. 1296 01:26:17,128 --> 01:26:19,230 Shouldn't we try and get a lawyer? 1297 01:26:19,297 --> 01:26:22,166 A lawyer? You don't get it at all. 1298 01:26:22,233 --> 01:26:26,569 We are trapped in the past. This is the Middle Ages! 1299 01:26:28,039 --> 01:26:31,608 Oh, my God! 1300 01:26:54,597 --> 01:26:57,201 ♪ Far beyond in space and time ♪ 1301 01:26:57,268 --> 01:27:00,104 ♪ Where wolves howl in the night ♪ 1302 01:27:00,171 --> 01:27:03,540 ♪ Beneath the star, beneath the light ♪ 1303 01:27:03,606 --> 01:27:06,643 ♪ Your life began to shine ♪ 1304 01:27:06,710 --> 01:27:11,481 ♪ Wumall rumound frumee (prisonee) ♪ 1305 01:27:12,984 --> 01:27:18,655 ♪ Mistress of light come to me ♪ 1306 01:27:18,722 --> 01:27:21,624 ♪ Your wings of flames from ancient worlds ♪ 1307 01:27:21,691 --> 01:27:24,962 ♪ The phoenix is reborn ♪ 1308 01:27:25,029 --> 01:27:27,731 ♪ Your heat that makes all lovers rise ♪ 1309 01:27:27,798 --> 01:27:31,068 ♪ Is climbing up the throne ♪ 1310 01:27:31,135 --> 01:27:37,041 ♪ Wumall rumound frumee (prisonee) ♪ 1311 01:27:37,108 --> 01:27:40,677 ♪ Mistress of light come to me ♪ 1312 01:27:42,346 --> 01:27:43,981 ♪ You're like fire... ♪ 1313 01:27:49,719 --> 01:27:51,789 I hate alcohol! 1314 01:27:51,856 --> 01:27:54,792 ♪ I'm no virgin any more ♪ 1315 01:27:54,859 --> 01:27:56,360 ♪ I'm no virgin ♪ 1316 01:27:56,427 --> 01:27:59,363 ♪ Yeah! Yeah! No more I'm not a virgin 1317 01:27:59,430 --> 01:28:01,999 ♪ For the very first time... ♪ 1318 01:28:02,066 --> 01:28:04,601 Oh. That must be him. 1319 01:28:04,667 --> 01:28:07,704 - Hello? - Auntie Helga? Hurry up! 1320 01:28:07,772 --> 01:28:09,807 - What's wrong? - We need your help. 1321 01:28:09,874 --> 01:28:11,674 - Where's Vanessa? - She's gone. 1322 01:28:11,741 --> 01:28:14,611 There's a monster here! Please, come quick! 1323 01:28:14,677 --> 01:28:16,847 Huh? 1324 01:28:16,914 --> 01:28:19,150 Natalja? 1325 01:28:19,216 --> 01:28:20,650 Shit! 1326 01:28:20,717 --> 01:28:22,853 ♪ You're like fire ♪ 1327 01:28:22,920 --> 01:28:25,622 ♪ Expending your empire ♪ 1328 01:28:25,716 --> 01:28:27,263 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 1329 01:28:27,358 --> 01:28:28,859 ♪ Fire ♪ 1330 01:28:28,926 --> 01:28:31,829 ♪ My burning desire ♪ 1331 01:28:33,431 --> 01:28:35,066 ♪ Fire ♪ 1332 01:28:35,132 --> 01:28:38,202 ♪ Your power inspires ♪ 1333 01:28:39,736 --> 01:28:41,172 ♪ Fire ♪ 1334 01:28:41,238 --> 01:28:44,208 ♪ Energy sapphire ♪ 1335 01:28:58,489 --> 01:29:01,392 ♪ Far beyond in space and time ♪ 1336 01:29:01,459 --> 01:29:04,328 ♪ The wolves howl in the night ♪ 1337 01:29:04,395 --> 01:29:07,364 ♪ Beneath the star, beneath the light ♪ 1338 01:29:07,431 --> 01:29:10,667 ♪ Your life begins to shine ♪ 1339 01:29:10,733 --> 01:29:16,941 ♪ Wumall rumound frumee (prisonee) ♪ 1340 01:29:17,007 --> 01:29:21,946 ♪ Mistress of light come to me ♪ 1341 01:29:22,012 --> 01:29:24,181 ♪ You're like fire ♪ 1342 01:29:24,248 --> 01:29:26,917 ♪ Expending your empire ♪ 1343 01:29:28,452 --> 01:29:29,920 ♪ Fire ♪ 1344 01:29:29,987 --> 01:29:32,923 ♪ My burning desire ♪ 1345 01:29:34,758 --> 01:29:36,427 ♪ Fire ♪ 1346 01:29:36,494 --> 01:29:39,296 ♪ Your power inspires ♪ 1347 01:29:40,898 --> 01:29:42,366 ♪ Fire ♪ 1348 01:29:42,433 --> 01:29:45,369 ♪ Energy sapphire ♪ 1349 01:29:59,316 --> 01:30:00,717 ♪ Fire ♪ 1350 01:30:00,784 --> 01:30:03,754 ♪ Expending your empire ♪ 1351 01:30:05,389 --> 01:30:06,423 ♪ Fire ♪ 1352 01:30:06,490 --> 01:30:09,793 ♪ My burning desire ♪ 1353 01:30:11,529 --> 01:30:12,596 ♪ Fire ♪ 1354 01:30:12,662 --> 01:30:16,367 ♪ Your power inspires ♪ 1355 01:30:17,835 --> 01:30:19,403 ♪ Fire ♪ 1356 01:30:19,470 --> 01:30:22,072 ♪ Energy sapphire ♪ 1357 01:30:23,974 --> 01:30:24,942 ♪ Fire ♪ 1358 01:30:25,009 --> 01:30:28,345 ♪ Expending your empire ♪ 1359 01:30:30,080 --> 01:30:31,348 ♪ Fire ♪ 1360 01:30:31,415 --> 01:30:34,385 ♪ My burning desire ♪ 1361 01:30:36,086 --> 01:30:37,454 ♪ Fire ♪ 1362 01:30:37,521 --> 01:30:40,391 ♪ Your power inspires ♪ 1363 01:30:42,159 --> 01:30:43,827 ♪ Fire ♪ 1364 01:30:43,894 --> 01:30:46,964 ♪ Energy sapphire ♪ 99729