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The town of Ashton Cove was left

in a nasty blood bath.

No.

The town of Ashton Cove was left crumbled, smoldering,

abandoned...

No, in ruins.

Oh no.

The town of Ashton Cove was left drenched in a state

of sorrow.

No, I can do better.

Drenched in a state of ennui.

It was left in a state of ennui.

That's the one.

Mom.

Yes, honey.

Sorry, sorry.

Elijah knew if he was ever going

to escape, flee, no.

He would have to conquer, face, he would have to face

the monster head on.

Everyone else had already surrendered, given up,

white flag.

Everyone else had already risen their white flags,

leaving for most of them just wasn't an option.

Elijah was the only one, he'd been held captive long enough

to know that even utter failure would be worth the attempt.

He knew that before he became a slave to Ashton Cove

he had to act.

He didn't have a plan, but he knew deep inside

that once he got out of here he'd be free.

The end.

Sorry, continue.

That was it, that was the end.

Thanks for that, Greg.

Thoughts, everyone?

Is it wrong to admit that I was rooting for the monster

the entire time.

I mean, no offense but this Greg protagonist

is so unlikable...

Elijah?

No, it's Ian.

The character's name is Elijah.

Whatever, he was just frustratingly passive,

I don't understand why anyone would find him or anything

he does interesting, he's just too...

Meek.

Precisely.

He's really the shell of a human.

I just don't believe in building an entire story

just so he could say the words ennui.

Okay, okay, there's no denying that you have talent, Greg,

for your age, it's just that

the story was a little superfluous,

there's no passion behind your words.

When you're writing comedy...

It's not really a comedy.

You have to make it unique to you.

You must, you have to, you got to make it about you.

Life is like a reading joke book backwards.

You're constantly being delivered the punchline

and it's up to you to figure out why it's funny.

That's a beautiful analogy, Martin.

And tonally, your story was jarring.

Isn't life jarring though, tonally?

Okay, okay, let's have some positives about Greg's story.

Hey, Mom.

Hi, honey.

I am so sorry.

It's just one school.

Did you open this?

Yes.

You know what we should do, we should go bowling.

Mom.

I can't believe you.

I really don't want you to get too down

on yourself, being able to take criticism is a huge part

of being a successful writer.

No, it's cool.

I'm not that down about it.

Heard from any schools yet?

No, not yet.

I'm sure you will, you have a lot of drive

to write and that's a really great thing,

but it just doesn't seem like it's coming from anywhere

that feels real right now.

You need some experiences, like outside of your laptop

or you know, working at Bent Taco.

I actually enjoy the solitude in the dish pit.

Does the name Harvey McCoy mean anything to you?

I know that name, what was that book, he had a book?

The one book wonder.

He's a fucken lunatic too.

It just so happens he's looking for an assistant

for this new book tour that he has, and uh,

he's a bit of a dick but we go way back.

And it might be a good opportunity for you.

It's gonna give you more inspiration than a fucking

dish pit anyway.

Plus I'll be on the uh, I'll be on the last stop

and I'll see ya.

See ya at the finish line, yeah?

That'd be great.

And if you can make it.

Look, you're doing a great job.

What do I always say...

- Writer's... - Get better by writing.

Yeah.

Hi, uh, this is Greg Gifford speaking.

Hey, how's it going, this is Greg Gifford.

Greetings, I'm calling you, Harvey McCoy.

I too, as well write.

I am a writer.

Six foot two, 145 pounds, 18 years old, looking for

some writerly knowledge.

Hi, I'm Greg Gifford.

I'm a writer and I am looking to be your assistant.

Hello?

Hi

Hello?

I said hello.

I'm calling about the assistant job.

Assistant job, uh, yeah um...

I'm actually a big fan, so this opportunity seemed..

I uh, Meso.

Meso!

Hello, this is Meso Halloway, Harvey's agent.

Hi, Meso, I'm Greg Gifford calling for the assistant job.

I got this number from Martin.

Yeah, Martin.

Yeah, Harvey's incredibly busy with,

he's busy with carry work, so you as you can imagine,

a very busy man.

Okay.

He does need some assistance, he needs

an assistant, so uh, some help on the job.

Of course.

He's doing a lot of stuff, yes.

So the assistant job.

The what, assistant job?

Yeah, I have a few serious questions if that's okay?

Yeah, definitely.

Question one, uh can you drive?

You'll be driving.

I have my full license, yup.

Question two.

Can you start tomorrow?

Uh, yeah.

Meso.

Yes.

I can only offer you a 100 bucks.

A day?

Fine.

Fine.

Okay so, so when do I...

I think I just got a writing job.

Oh, honey.

I wanna meet him first.

Mom, no.

Yes!

No, he's not gonna take me seriously if I have

to have my mom meet him first.

You don't even know him, I'm not gonna let you go

hang out with some random old guy without at least

speaking to him first.

He's not some random old guy, he's an accomplished writer,

he's Harvey McCoy.

Literally the only notable person to come from this town.

An accomplished writer with a reputation.

Everyone has a reputation, that's why you're banned

from garage sales.

Well you remember what happened to Madison Sorvil.

Madison Sorvil got pregnant because she slept with

a reporter during the Christmas festival.

That's insanely different, and not to mention,

a wildly unrealistic outcome for me.

Listen, honey, I just don't understand why you can't

hang out with people your own age.

Martin gave me this opportunity because he believes in me.

Just because someone is older

does not make them wiser.

Agreed.

Okay, but I'm giving you my credit card for emergencies.

Just please let me do this on my own.

What's the name of this book again?

"The Grand Affliction".

Bye, Mom.

The credit cards in your backpack.

I love you.

I love you too, Greg.

Was that you just knocking on my door?

Yeah, I think I'm your assistant.

All right.

So Greg is it?

I've known a few Greg's in my day, some of them were good,

some of them were shit.

So I take it you're a writer?

Aspiring.

Ah that's too bad.

So what do you write about, Craig, what are your demons?

I mostly write monster stories, actually.

Uh-huh.

So uh, you got a girlfriend?

A mother.

That's even better, they're the best demons.

You want a drink?

No thank you.

What are you allergic?

No, it's just really not my thing.

All right.

Well, we got three rules around here.

Number one, don't touch anything.

Don't touch anything.

Leave all the doors closed because I like it fucking

freezing in here.

And if I see you with a cellphone in your hand,

I'll break it, all right?

If you gotta take a shit, west, go west okay.

All the west.

Anywhere out west, not the east, out the west.

That's your toilet essentially, okay.

Finally,

the Wi-Fi passcode

is go fuck yourself, and that's all in lower case.

You got it?

Got it.

So, Craig, what do you expect to get out of this?

Well I'm saving up for college and I've been working

on a short story for some deadlines,

and I'm really just looking to get some experience.

Yeah.

Well let's take you on a tour.

That is your bed.

I said don't touch anything.

Elijah entered the monsters layer,

he was medicated, irrational, and consumed by his ridiculous

list of ground rules.

The monster dragged Elijah through the palace, straight

to his cell, but for the first time in a long while

he felt alive.

And like a complete fucking cliche.

So these next three days are gonna

be pretty action packed.

There's gonna be some press, you know?

I just need you to know where I need to be,

when I need to be there.

That's your job, it's very important.

Um, do we have a game plan for tomorrow?

Uh tomorrow, yeah, we're doing, we're going to Meaford

and then Collingwood, and then Owen Sound.

Uh, Meaford's gonna be just a book signing event,

I don't even think I'm gonna do a reading unless

they ask me.

Unless like a fan asks me or something,

but it's really just a charity event, frankly.

Okay, um what time are we gonna leave then?

Oh I think we're gonna leave around uh,

well it's four hours to get,

four hours to get there

from uh...

I think eight o'clock, no later than eight o'clock.

Okay, I'll uh, set my alarm then.

You know people think this is a comeback,

it's not a comeback I never left.

I've been busy,

I've been busy, so.

But what can you do, you know?

Fans ask for it.

I'm living this life, you know for them, they asked for it.

I didn't ask for it.

Right.

What was I sayin?

The tour.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the tour the last stop,

that's Owen Sound.

Owen Sound's the last stop.

So that'll be the big event, it's the main event.

It's where we land, right.

It's the final chapter.

Why in Owen Sound?

I mean, it's just kind of a random place, don't you think?

I like to go where the fans are, I don't need a big city.

So your job is gonna be to pack this place.

Okay, and that's the most important thing,

pack this place.

You used to be a club promoter, right?

Um not me, no.

All right, you can just ask me directly,

I mean I'm sure you wanna know about it,

all the parties and the, well it's California

and Judy Dench I met twice.

Did you know that they were gonna make a film out of

"The Grand Affliction"?

What happened with that?

Ah, I said fuck it!

You know movies are just books for idiots, really.

A proper story needs to be told with words,

right, expression.

So uh, this book tour, is it for a new book?

What do you mean?

I don't know how I could reword that question

any clearer.

It's the 15th anniversary of "The Grand Affliction".

Fifth fucken teen.

But you've written other stuff since, right?

Like short stories or any novels?

Obviously, that's why I live alone.

A writer needs isolation.

Well and they need a personal assistant

but it's distraction, that's the problem is distraction.

There's no such thing as writers block,

there's no such thing as writers block, it's distraction.

Distraction.

So tell me about this, tell me about this poem

that you wrote.

It's actually a short story.

I'd love if you read it, you don't have to read it

right now or anything, but maybe tomorrow

or on the book tour sometime.

I'd love to get some notes or advice.

Okay,

good night.

The monster served Elijah cold pizza.

The master plan was unveiled, Elijah's

pleas went unanswered.

The monster fell asleep.

The monster passed out.

The monster began his slumber, no.

The monster started his slumber, it was the perfect time

to attack, it was the perfect time to pounce.

It was the perfect time to strike.

However, Elijah had no idea what to do next.

If you think this is when you met her,

you're wrong, she met you first when your family died

and you were standing like a slain stork refusing to fail,

or cry, or die.

And you said, "Hello, my whole family died in a waterfall

or on a mattress."

Who the fuck are you?

I'm Greg.

Oh.

Okay, let's go.

Ta-da!

Hang on Greg, are you even old enough to drive?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

How old are ya?

I'm an adult.

You're an adult.

You don't look like an adult, you got kinda look

a little fresh face you got you there.

Eh, you look pretty.

Pre-pubescent I'd say.

Thanks.

You got a real post mortem aura about you.

Yeah.

Hey, Greg.

How's the list look at the Roxy,

how the ticket sales doing?

The Roxy?

Yeah, the Roxy, the theater down in Owen Sound there.

Huh, it's a main event!

Jesus man!

What were you into last night, huh?

I thought last night was an introductory.

Introductory, introductory.

Well consider yourself introduced, here.

You know how to drive an RV?

Do you?

No, good luck.

You know what, Gregory, in some ways I consider myself

your mentor, that make sense to you?

Okay, I'm gonna give you some advice about writing.

First, don't be a writer.

This is the next thing you need to know,

never stop writing, write everyday.

Like me, I write everyday.

I didn't write today, but, I didn't write yesterday either.

So why aren't we just sleeping in the RV?

Cause the RV is for naps.

We're not living in the fucking thing, just naps.

I'm gonna write tomorrow, I swear to God.

You should make the same promise, make that promise.

I make a promise.

Make the promise.

I made the promise.

What's the promise?

I promise to write everyday.

Everyday, did you write today?

No.

No, did you write yesterday?

- No. - You're breaking

the fucking promise already.

Okay, so look it, we're gonna do this right now,

do a haiku about the trees.

See the trees?

Haiku.

Go.

Go.

The green of your bush.

What?

Needles touching on me.

What?

Did you say the needles touching on me?

Did you just say the needles touching on me,

that's your fucking haiku?

We're forgetting something.

Like at the house?

No, no, no.

Book signing, book signing, book signing.

I guarantee we've got all the books.

No not the books, not the books.

The standee, the standee.

All right, well we gotta find a print shop along the way.

What print shop?

Where are we?

Beaverton.

Beaverton, that's what I call serendipity.

You know what serendipity is?

Yes.

Okay, good.

All right, turn right up here.

How far are we?

I'll tell you when.

Is it?

I will tell you when to turn, okay?

Now!

That's perfect.

Let's get it in the RV.

Be careful, be careful, be careful, be careful.

Don't bend it, don't bend it.

Is it in?

Yeah?

Oh yeah baby.

Oh no,

Jesus Christ!

Look at that, oh my fucking God!

It's okay we'll figure it out when we get there.

We're not going there, that's it man.

I'm done, I'm not going.

Well why?

Why?

Because that my friend is a bad omen if I've ever seen one.

Look at it, bad omen.

Mind you...

I mean most people know what I look like, right?

That's just kinda redundant if I'm there.

Ah, I think it's gonna be okay.

It's gonna be all right.

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- It's gonna be okay. - Okay?

All right.

Hi, I'm gonna get the eggs benedict, and does

that come with home fries?

Yup.

Okay I'll get them, thank you.

And for you?

Sir?

Uh, yeah I'll have a bourbon please, shot of bourbon neat.

I thought we stopped because you were famished?

I'll have a piece of toast, something.

It's before 11 a.m., we can't serve alcohol yet.

Are you serious?

Jesus Christ!

All right, I'll have water, water.

A glass of water, thank you, neat.

Sure.

What are you doing, you're freaking me out?

I can't find my mom's credit card.

I can't find my mom's credit card.

Jesus Christ man, listen to yourself.

I must have left it at your place.

It's all right I got this.

Oh, I have to go pee.

Kids eat for free here?

No.

The monster was beginning to show his true colors.

Elijah had it all wrong.

He didn't have to look for the perfect moment to strike,

he was bound to self destruct.

That gigantic fucken chocolate ass.

He saw it when the monster saw itself,

its reflection.

I fucken told ya!

What he saw wasn't the reality.

His power was merely a mask, a mask that deflected.

Let's go.

Where are you going?

Book signing.

Did you pay?

What kind of a question is that?

Of course I paid, I'm a New York Times best selling author!

Okay, I'm sorry.

Did I pay!

Jesus Christ.

Did you pee when you went to the bathroom?

What the

fuck is this?

This can't be right.

This can't be fucken right.

Home of the future, the future new library.

I gotta make a phone call.

Jesus Christ.

Oh hello, it's Harvey McCoy calling.

Yes, the author of "The Grand Affliction".

You set up a reading for me here at the Meaford

Public Library and I'm very excited about that,

except it's not even fucken built yet!

Half of the thing is a Foodland.

It says it's not gonna be open for a year, man.

This is the 15th anniversary tour of "The Grand Affliction",

not the 16th!

Not the fucken 16th!

You shoulda let me know.

No you didn't, no you didn't.

If you did I'd know.

What just happened?

What just happened, what just happened is

a stupid fuck up just happened.

You can not trust anybody ever.

Should we call Meso?

Who?

Your agent.

My agents, my agents on vacation.

Besides, this is all on you, man, you fucked up.

You were supposed to get results, man.

Results, how?

If you managed to get results, how you did so is futile.

I really don't understand what

you want me to write.

A scathing letter.

To the library?

No, to fucken Santa Claus!

These people are lucky to have me.

All right, start writing.

Okay,

your institution

holds

histories and knowledge, and all of these wonderful things.

So I find it appalling, no frankly I find it obscene

that you are run by

inane cunts.

Geez!

Just keep writing.

Hatred is a very strong word, but it is not strong enough

for the loathing I feel for you.

For you hairy horny hobbit whores.

You know, you can get a lot more attraction

writing a Yelp review or something.

That's not a word, Greg, you know that.

No, the website?

Where you can write reviews and it actually has an effect

on a place.

You've heard of the internet, right?

You little shit, of course I've heard of the internet.

It could really be a useful tool for promotion

for your events, it can really help you out.

It's just a suggestion.

All right, you write that up at the motel, okay?

The Yelp review?

Yes, the Yelp review!

You can't just make up words.

So do you think you'll have time tonight to read

my short story?

So do you think you'll have time to tonight

to read my short story?

Do you think time to read the fucken.

What?

I just don't feel like reading right now.

And where the hell are we?

Oh, oh we got time for a pit stop, just up here on the left.

I think we should just get to the motel.

I got some property right up here.

Why aren't we staying there instead of the motel?

Because I am not a fucken crystal ball, man.

I don't know.

It's more of a, more of a storage unit really.

Why are we going there?

Greg, if you happen to

get a best selling novel one day, what would you buy

with that first big pay check, what would it be?

A plane ticket.

Wrong.

You would buy an expensive suit, the best suit,

your favorite suit, the suit you always wanted.

You know why?

Cause then you look the part, huh?

Write it down.

Go ahead.

Write it down.

So we're detouring for a suit?

Oh no, my friend, not just any suit a lucky suit.

And it's right up here on the left.

And you missed it.

All right, so it's on the top floor, upstairs bedroom closet

I think, uh, but I wouldn't put it past me in the basement.

So go.

So you're not coming in with me?

Well I,

no.

This is your house?

Yeah, it's my house, it's my house, it's just

it's very dusty in there and I don't wanna expose

myself to a dangerous dust.

But you're smoking.

Jesus Christ, for a fucken assistant you complain a lot

about assisting.

Let's go, assist, assist.

Just thought I'd get some writerly advice or some

knowledge or something, but I guess I'm not.

Don't bang a groupie.

What?

Let's go, let's go!

What the fuck.

No.

Harvey.

I got it!

Fuck, fuck.

Who the fuck are you?

I'm Greg.

Shelby.

Well look who it fucking is.

Harvey goddamn McCoy.

I knew you'd have to be lurking around here.

Hi, baby, how you doin?

It's been a long time, you look great.

Are you fucking serious?

Yeah, you look...

Did you pay a fucking child to come steal your suit back?

No, of course I didn't, come on.

It's not what this looks like.

It doesn't look like that at all.

Baby, you gotta lower the gun okay.

The gun, lower the gun please, so we can talk.

We can have a little conversation.

Can I leave?

- No! - No!

Okay, I don't know who you are, but you should stay

away from this piece of shit!

He's a bad man.

Cheryl, please, you gotta let me explain.

How could you leave without saying anything?

I left a note.

You ripped out the words at the end from your book

and taped it to a picture of us.

What?

Did I?

That sounds pretty unlikely, really.

But still, for whatever reason, I waited months

for you to come back.

I fucking used up all my vacation days just in case

I would miss you.

Darling, that sounds very ill advised.

Well I'm not taking your shit anymore, no more.

Fuck I did everything for you.

I bought 40 copies of your book and I basically

promoted the thing, for what, for what?

For nothing, to be abandoned!

Darling, I think what we gotta do right now please,

is we gotta look at the positives, okay?

The positives between me and you, in our relationship

we had positive moments.

We did.

Like,

the time I stopped you from getting the tattoo.

You're not the fucking stick and poke.

I thought that was something very different.

Uh please, darling, you know I would not come here

if I didn't have a good reason.

More like an opportunity?

Well yeah, yeah, like an opportunity.

Like an opportunity to introduce you to my child, okay.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

Are you serious?

I'm very serious.

But I thought you had a daughter.

So did I.

- Harvey? - Yes.

This is huge.

It's gargantuan, huh?

Oh hi, sweetie.

Run!

Fuck you, Harvey!

Holy fuck!

Never tell a girl you wrote a book about her,

even if you did.

That's my advice to you, pal.

Oh man.

Jesus man, what the hell.

What the hell?

- Yeah. - I'm the one

who should be asking that question.

Okay look, I would never have sent you into that house

if I had known that woman had a gun.

I promise I never would have, ever.

We almost fucking died back there, died,

and for what, a suit?

Yeah, a very expensive suit, man.

I quit.

You can't quit, there's no where to go,

you're in the middle of nowhere.

This is fucking insane I'm not doing this for $100 a day.

Okay, okay, I'll make it $150.

That's not why I took this job.

Okay.

What do you want?

I just want you to read my short story and give me notes

on it to help me become a better writer.

Writers get better by writing, there you go.

Then I guess you peaked.

All right.

All right, I'll read your story.

I'll read your story.

You don't believe me?

Here, pass it over.

I'll read it tonight at the motel, I promise.

Thank you very much.

Testing, test.

How much time we got, Greg?

You're already 15 minutes late.

Perfect.

I want you to go see how many people are sitting

in those chairs.

Please welcome Mr. Harvard Wolworth McCoy.

Well hello everyone.

I'd like to thank you all for coming out.

It's very hard to believe that "The Grand Affliction"

is 15 years old.

I've been asked to do a Q and A, but I'm gonna forgo

that for the time being, because my friend here asked

for me to read a special passage.

I don't mind saying it's a difficult passage,

and I'll be frank,

it's a painful passage.

So bear with me.

Name?

Lauren.

Lorraine.

Lauren.

There you go, thank you.

I love your book.

Oh thank you very much.

I wrote a paper on it.

No kidding!

I'm very flattered, what's your name?

Dan.

There you go, Dan.

Thank you.

Have a good day.

Harvey McCoy.

Do I know you?

Probably, I'm a reporter for the local paper.

I was hoping you'd be open to answering a few questions.

Look, press questions go through my agent.

Hey, what just happened in there?

Don't worry, this isn't about the book.

Oh, I'm answering questions only about the book.

Fine.

What about the inspiration behind the book?

Let's go.

I have a daughter.

I saw a picture on your mantle.

Yeah, hm.

Where is she?

I was a good father.

I was a good father, for a few years I was a good father.

It was something I wanted to be, I made the commitment.

I loved her, she loved me, I was her whole world,

she was my whole world.

And when they're that age and they look up at you,

they don't want anything from you but for you to love them

and I did, I loved her and she loved me.

Which is fine, but I wasn't totally getting along

with her mother.

We were living together, we were married.

Anyway, so I got this, my first big, my first big book deal.

And it was a big deal to me, and I thought,

"Man, I better take this seriously and I've gotta put

some time into it."

And I put all this time into and that took time away from,

from her and my marriage.

You know, it's not an uncommon story, right,

when you just head off in different directions.

And, you know, I knew it was coming to an end,

so did she.

And we separated, and for awhile it wasn't all that bad,

it was...

It was manageable, you know, like it wasn't ideal

it wasn't the dream, it was just manageable.

But to cope with it,

man I started drinking.

I started drinking real heavy.

And that just uh, I just turned everything

into a giant mess.

So, I couldn't visit anymore,

she didn't want me to come around, because of things

that happened that I'm not even gonna go into

that frankly, I don't even remember, not really.

I don't remember everything.

But I always remember her birthday.

I needed that connection, I needed to feel

I had a connection with her.

And I looked for it on her birthday's, and when her

fifth birthday came around

her mother didn't want me to see her.

That was the thing, she was not gonna let me see

my own daughter on her fifth,

fifth birthday, which honestly I understood.

At the time when she said that, as pissed as I was,

I understood why.

So on the day of her birthday I drank.

I got up early

and I drank a hell of a lot and I got hammered,

I got blackout drunk.

And the next thing I know

next thing I know,

I was wrapped around the tree out front of the house.

Totaled the car.

And there were kids, it was a birthday party,

so there's kids coming in and out of the,

my daughter was coming in and out of the house.

And that was it, I'd finished it.

I was never to be forgiven for that.

And again,

I knew why.

As horrible as it looked, it was as horrible as I felt.

And I knew that I had lost, I'd lost them.

It's not something you can accept really,

so what I did was, I thought to myself, "There's gotta

be a way that I can make this,

some way that I can make this,

some way I could make it okay."

You know, manageable again, normal again.

So I did the smart thing, I quit drinking.

I stopped drinkin.

Which was a big deal and wasn't easy.

And uh, the next thing I thought I had to do was,

well I'm gonna write that book.

And I did.

It wasn't the book the publisher wanted,

but a different book.

But luckily he liked it, he loved it.

And so did other people, because it ended up on

the New York Times best selling list, as I like to say.

But that book, that 300 page book,

was meant for one person only,

meant for Hannah.

So that she could

see how I felt,

hear my apology,

and understand that this is important to me.

That she understood that I knew

I had, I had ruined her first family,

and that maybe this was a place to start from, this book.

Because I was never gonna reach her, I was never

gonna get a card to her, I was never gonna get

a phone call to her.

I didn't even know for a long period of time,

where they were living.

But if I put a book out,

it's out there forever, she'll find it one day

and she'll read it.

And it's dedicated

to Hannah McCoy.

But she didn't read it, or at least if she did

I guess it didn't mean much to her,

because I never heard from her or her mother again,

for 15 years,

16 years.

So I decided that the next best thing I could do,

because I knew, the only thing I knew about her

was that she lives in

Owen Sound.

- The last stop. - The last stop.

That's what this whole thing is about.

This what everything is about, I sank in my very last penny,

I made sure my name was in the newspapers,

I did the interviews,

because I thought if she knew I was here

then maybe, you know maybe, maybe she comes.

I don't think she's gonna come.

I mean, I don't think this is the right move.

I just can't accept this.

This is the stupidest fucking idea I ever had.

I don't think it's stupid.

No?

All right, I'm gonna go outside and get some fresh air.

Hm, don't stay up all night on that thing, all right?

I think tomorrow's gonna be a good one.

I hope you're right, kid.

Hey, Mom.

Where the hell are you?

Are you running away?

What?

No I'm not running away.

There's over 20 charges on my credit card,

- what are doing? - How many charges?

Yes, you racked up over $2,000 on my card!

I thought I left the credit card at Harvey's.

I am calling the police right now,

and I'm coming to get you.

No, Mom, don't call anyone, I know how to fix this.

I warned you about this fucking guy, Greg.

Mom, it's okay, I love you good bye.

No, Greg, do not hang up the phone.

Who the fuck are you?

Fucking, Greg!

Look, Greg, I think you got the wrong room.

No, I've got the right one.

Oh fuck!

Where the fuck is my mom's credit card, Harvey?

Hey!

Hey, really?

Greg, I don't have your mom's credit card.

I don't know what you're talking about, get off me.

Ow, ow.

What the fuck is this?

I'll tell you what this is, Grego,

that's my credit card my name is Wendy Giggles.

Shut the fuck up, Harvey.

I don't think that's her name, I don't think that's

her real name.

Greg.

I'd like to talk.

What could you possibly have to say to me right now?

Well, thank you for finding me.

That's it, not sorry?

What the fuck are you thinking in there?

Your biggest event is tomorrow and you're drinking

yourself stupid?

Everything you've put towards this

is shot now, do you not give a fuck about anything?

I thought this was for your daughter.

Or was that even true?

I would never lie about her, Greg.

I don't know to what extent you'd lie anymore

to get what you want.

What everyone says about you is true,

you're a washed up asshole.

What are you doing?

I think I'm having a heart attack, Greg.

What, a heart attack?

Hello, 911 what's your emergency?

Hello, I think my boss is having a heart attack.

Okay, is he breathing?

Yeah, he's conscious.

What's your location?

We're at the Traveler's Motel.

Okay, stay with me, we have someone

on the way.

Is he gonna be okay?

You called us just in time.

No offense, but this Greg protagonist

is so unlikeable.

He's really the shell of a human.

He was just frustratingly passive.

Okay, your story was jarring,

there's no passion behind your work.

I'm so sorry.

It just doesn't seem like

it's coming from anywhere that feels real right now.

It's just one school.

You got to make it about you.

Hey how's it going, this is Greg Gifford.

I too, as well, write.

I am a writer.

So what do you write about, Craig?

What are your demons?

What are these?

Isolation, it's the distraction

that's the problem, is distraction.

There's no such thing as writers block.

Distraction...

Distraction.

You waited for me.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

I never doubted you kid.

Fuck off, Harvey.

Greg, please.

You just had a fucking heart attack,

what are you doing here?

Exactly.

And the only reason I am here is because of you, man.

Look, I know maybe I've been a bit,

I've been a bit unreliable.

Unreliable?

Yeah, maybe you're still pissed off about the whole

mom Visa thing, but this heart attack has shown me

that maybe I don't got a lot of chances left

to say I'm sorry,

and Greg, I'm sorry.

Buddy, you're my lucky suit.

You don't believe me?

You don't believe me?!

All right,

all right.

See that.

Out with the old, in with the new.

What the fuck was that supposed to prove?

I don't really know actually, but god that felt great, eh?

So come on, what do you say, we go to the Roxy?

I don't know.

You know, Elijah woulda followed through.

You read my story?

Yeah, I did.

Look, tonight's not gonna be about me,

I want it to be about us.

I promise,

please.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Get you up in a nice suit, man.

Say, that looks spiffy.

I look like a weight loss promo.

Yeah, one that works.

Oh, oh, this is it, man.

Yeah, this?

Yeah, this looks great.

How's it feel?

It feels lucky.

Look at us now, man, we are legends baby.

This place is packed, man.

How the shit did you do that?

If you manage to get a result, how you did so is futile.

Shut up.

Hey, how do I look?

Optimistically, decrepit.

Perfect, perfect.

Okay, we can't go in this way,

we're gonna have to find another way in.

Go around back.

You do that, I have to take care of something first,

but I'll meet you in there.

All right, okay, I'll see you in there.

Hey, Hannah.

Hey, Greg right?

Yeah, sorry I couldn't find you anywhere.

You found me.

I did.

Uh, nice suit.

So are you gonna come in and watch the show?

Uh, yeah.

I'm pretty much done setting up here, so I'll come in

once I'm finished.

Cool.

Okay, well goodbye.

Bye.

It's time.

I thought this was for a movie.

I don't know.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello!

Wow, I really wasn't expecting this.

Thank you all for coming.

We are lucky tonight to have Harvey McCoy here

to read a passage from his book "The Grand Affliction".

So without further ado, I'd like to introduce

Harvey McCoy.

Hello everyone.

I wanna thank you all for coming.

I'm very excited to be here myself.

15 years ago I wrote a book called "The Grand Affliction",

it was written for my daughter,

Hannah.

I didn't ever get the chance to know her

and that is my regret.

And that is my book.

I came here to make a grand apology and I realized

that that's still just me being

in grand.

But I'm not grand.

There's a writer in this room right now, though,

and he's listened to my grand ramblings for three days now.

And that, he's listening.

It taught me more than 50 years of my own bullshit.

And so, let's all listen to a short story

from my good friend

Greg.

I actually have something else that I'd like to read.

I wrote this last night.

I've never read this aloud before, so here it goes.

This is called, "To Hell with Harvey".

Warmth is an accident, it is a thin atmosphere,

much like on earth it surrounds us.

It is a flimsy shroud, invisible and lighter than a feather.

It may be our friends, our family, and our hope.

Thin and ephemeral, and it can slip off us

with a light force of a cold drought.

Some of us live without it, live in the cold

and we tremble.

That is me, who I am if exposed all the time.

Everything hurts, but I am convinced that I can

restore that blanket, that shroud if I just stand still.

If I open myself up to a stranger.

If I try to be good.

I doubt that I am good.

I pray that one day I will do something that brings

people to me.

Warmth,

that's what will save me.

What's this?

Greg, I got a bad habit of burning bridges,

but one bridge I did not burn was my publishers.

And I gave her your story, and she loved it.

She did?

Oh yeah she did.

Her phone numbers in there, so make sure you call her.

You're a great writer, Greg.

So are you.

Nah, I'm just a character in a novel.

Yeah, but you wrote that novel.

Well buddy, now it's your turn.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna live forever, man.

Look, there's someone over there waiting for ya.

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