Original subtitles

Pitiful peasants of propecia!

I, king prince lavender, welcome and command you

To enjoy my first annual death tournament!

Sound the opening gong!

Gong!

My betrothed,

Tigtone is the only is only one who can stop us.

Do you think he'll come?

Fret not, spaceress, our trap is set.

I think he'll come.

[ yelps, growls ]

[ eagle screeches ]

??

[ eagle shrieks ]

Oh, that must be him now!

Yes, and once he's dead,

We'll be able to get married,

And then we'll be powerful enough to conquer

This entire world and then destroy it!

Oh! I like it.

I like it. I like it a lot!

[ cheers and applause ]

Tigtone, here to rescue me at last.

Rescue you?

I've been missing for three months.

Well, if you've been missing, helpy,

I'm sure you would have told me about it sooner.

No, I'm here for the death tournament.

??

[ metal screeching ]

Fool!

The death tournament is the last place

He'll expect to be assassinated!

??

[ metal screeching ]

And now, tigtone versus horso.

Fight!

[ chuckles ]

I will crush you with my horse torso!

[ laughs ]

A death tournament is no threat to tigtone.

It may as well be a nice sit-down dinner.

He'll kill everyone there.

Oh, shut up. We have a plan.

Yeah, and you don't know about it.

Sounds like I should warn tigtone,

But about what?

??

This had better work.

Look, it's better working right behind my very eyes!

??

Someone is trying to kill me!

??

No!

Oh, a murderer at a death tournament?

I shall slit this mystery open and spill its enigmas!

Whoa, well, good luck to you, tigtone.

Thank you, horso.

[ bone snaps ]

Lavender: And the winner is tigtone!

[ cheers and applause ]

??

I must find the hand that fits this dagger.

None of these hands fit!

Up next, bear-hands versus man-hands.

Ha-ha! More hands!

[ bear growls, man shrieks ]

??

??

These hands are not even hands!

??

Ah!

[ crowd gasps ]

No! Ohh. Ah!

[ tonden-mora groans ]

Ah, double clues than before!

A table for this mystery is what I need to do.

For what do these weapons have in common, and how?

And then tigtone versus hog-wash.

??

[ choking ]

??

[ laughs ] [ laughs ]

It's happening!

[ groans ]

[ creaking, tearing ]

??

Hey, your little thing is escaping.

Oh, no, not so fast, you little thing.

You don't want to miss your friend tigtone die!

From in a cage!

[ laughs ] [ laughs ]

[ choking ]

??

??

[ gasping ]

What?

??

I need more clues.

Wait.

??

Tracks!

Ha-ha!

??

Ha-ha!

Gotcha!

Good grog for sale.

Hot, throbbing grog for sale.

I thought you said your assassin was the best.

I did say that.

[ metal screeching ]

He's right, and I'm right...

Here.

Me, tonden-mora! Born when a scorpion god

Mated with its own shadow!

Tigtone has thwarted me multiple times.

My next and final attempt to murder him

Will be his last!

[ laughing ]

[ metal screeching ]

Ooh, assassin!

I have to warn tigtone.

[ thinking ] dear journal, each clue leads to a puzzle,

And each puzzle forms a picture.

??

No!

And each brush with death

Leads me closer to completing that picture.

Nay, a portrait.

??

A portrait of who?

??

[ both groan ]

The plot may thicken,

But I am getting thicken-er.

Only one opponent remains,

The terrifying titan known as the madiator!

[ cheers and applause ]

Ah, wine.

Wait.

??

Ah, poison confirmed!

My clues!

Aah!

Ooh!

??

Tigtone!

[ inhales deeply ]

[ blows ]

??

"danger, assassin!

Love, helpy."

Assassin!

That's who I needed to get to the bottom of.

[ shing! ] aah!

[ crowd groans ]

[ heartbeat ]

But who are you?

It is I, tonden-mora.

[ crowd gasps ]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Tonden-mora --

I-I knew it.

[ gurgles ]

[ exhales ]

??

[ laughs ] [ laughs ]

Now that tigtone is dead,

Nothing stands in our way!

??

What?!

But if that's tigtone,

Who is tigtone?

[ crowd gasps ]

But if that's tonden-mora,

Who is tonden-mora?

Ha, it is me, tigtone!

Alive and talking about it!

But how?

Once I knew there was an assassin,

I quickly switched places with everyone

While no one was looking!

Good job.

But if you're tigtone, who is that?

Grog for sale!

Fine! You get to live this time, for now.

But there are many other times!

Yes! And on one of those times,

When you least expect it, I...

He'll cut your head off! I'll cut your head off!

Yes!

You're lucky this death tournament is over.

Come, helpy!

Sound the closing gong.

Gong.

Narrator: In memoriam...

Horso,

Bear-hands,

Man-hands,

Hogwash,

Twoklops,

Saber teeth,

Madiator,

And tonden-mora.

Uh, tigtone, you didn't switch places with me,

Did you, tigtone, did you?

If you did, you'd tell me, right?

Did you? Did you?

Tigtone, did you change places with me?

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