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♪ ♪
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BART: Mm. Hmm.
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So Ionic.
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(yawns)
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If I wanted to be bored
on a Saturday, I would have
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signed up for that management
training program at work.
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At least there I know
where the good toilets are.
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Wait, what training program?
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Oh, it's some dumb
career development thing
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at the plant,
so you can become a manager
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and have more responsibility.
(laughs)
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Who needs that trap?
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But we could really
use more money.
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You've had the same entry‐level
job your whole career.
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Hey, don't knock
entry level, Marge.
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At least I don't have
to wear long‐sleeve shirts,
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go to webinars
and supervise a bunch
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of entry‐level losers,
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with their short‐sleeve shirts.
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Homer, I can't be
the only one in this family
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who wants more for us.
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(gasps) I want more.
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I just don't want
to do anything to earn it.
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For once in your life,
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would it kill you
to show a little ambition?
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‐(huffs) ‐(huffs)
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Ah, ambition is indeed
a timeless source of conflict.
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(gasps) A lost senior.
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(enunciating):
Where is your family?
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As a matter of fact,
I just curated
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an exhibit about a Roman family
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torn asunder
by the hunger for more.
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The Life of Obeseus the Wide.
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Ooh, maybe
an historical allegory
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could help us
work out our issues.
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Once again, bickering in public
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gets us free therapy
from strangers.
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Bickering most tragic.
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For ambition was the force
that built the Roman Empire
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and that which tore it apart.
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Obeseus was born
to a poor farmer
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with much land,
but no ox to plow it.
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So he improvised.
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Life on the farm was cruel.
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But it chiseled
young Obeseus into quite
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the Italian beefcake.
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Good news, plow son.
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We finally got enough money
to buy us an ox.
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Woo‐hoo!
How'd you do that, father?
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I sold you into slavery.
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- Arrivederci, sucker.
- (grunts)
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CURATOR:
A frightened Obeseus
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and his new work friends
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were taken to Rome.
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The boys had never seen
anything like it‐‐ the crowds,
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the noise, the grand scale
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of the pornographic graffiti.
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But the worst was yet to come.
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Gentlemen,
today you have the honor
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of being hacked to death
on the field of battle.
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Us? But we're not gladiators.
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Not with that attitude.
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Remember, there are
no small wounds,
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only small victims.
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(whimpering)
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(crowd cheering)
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Hailing from Germania,
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he's the Saxon
who's always axe‐in'‐‐
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Wolfus Rein!
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(cheering)
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And in the shaking tunic,
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hailing from who knows,
nobody cares‐‐
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that guy.
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(booing)
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‐(whimpering) ‐(growling)
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Someone's in here.
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(grunts)
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Aah!
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CURATOR:
Obeseus didn't know much,
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but he knew how to be an ox.
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(Obeseus bellows)
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‐(grunting) ‐(groaning)
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Juno, Mother of Apollo.
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All right, pal,
should we call it a tie?
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A‐Aah!
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(cheering)
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All hail our new champion,
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Mr. Plow himself,
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Obeseus!
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- Yeah!
- (cheering)
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Oh...
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That chiseled bumpkin
just killed
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my prized psychopath.
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Feed him to the hippos.
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No, Father, look how
the crowd loves him.
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That hunky rube could put
a lot of togas in the seats.
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Majora, you have quite the mind
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for the family business.
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The man‐ox will live
to fight another day.
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(lowing)
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Mm.
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CURATOR:
Obeseus' fame grew
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as he rose through
the gladiatorial ranks.
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Women wanted him
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and men wanted
to be killed by him.
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(cheering)
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But still he yearned for that
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which he longed for.
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MAJORA:
Eye... heart... U!
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Oh...
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(sighs) You guys think
we'll ever be free again?
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(scoffs) The only way
we're leaving this place
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is carried out in chunks.
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Uh, don't mind me, fellas.
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Another clog in the chunk chute.
(chuckles)
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They got to start cutting
you guys into smaller pieces.
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Let us make a sacred pact
before the gods.
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If one of us ever gets free,
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he'll do everything he can
to free the rest of us.
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To freedom.
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ALL:
To freedom!
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Yeah, to freedom.
(chuckles)
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Eh, you chunks are no fun.
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Well, if it isn't
the champion of Rome himself.
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(gasps)
Lady Majora.
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What are you doing here?
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I have to keep an eye
on my father's investments.
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00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,453
Plus, I like the way
your pecs dance
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after you kill a guy.
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(giggles)
These old things?
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Blip, blip, bla‐bla, blip,
Blip, bla‐bla, blip.
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(growls, laughs)
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Mm‐hmm.
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(sing‐songy): Swish and slash
and spin and kick
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00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:39,806
and slice that belly
and hello, guts.
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00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,008
It would appear that one
of you lowly gladiators
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has impregnated my daughter.
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Tell me who laid with her,
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00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:50,217
and the rest of you
will be spared the lash.
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00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,952
Mm...
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I had sexicus.
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- I had sexicus.
- I had sexicus.
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I had sexicus.
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00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,529
- I had sexicus.
- I had sexicus.
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00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,064
I had sexicus.
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00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:05,432
You jerks!
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You knew I liked her.
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We were covering
for you, jackass.
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Oh, right.
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Sir, I'm in love
with your daughter.
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If you must punish someone,
punish me.
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Place his head
on the beheading block.
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(gasps)
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Which is also
the unlocking block.
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Rise, for you are now free...
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Woo‐hoo!
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- ...to marry my daughter.
- D'oh!
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(chuckling):
I‐I mean, great.
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What could be more
liberating than marriage?
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CURATOR:The young lovers were wedfor all the gods to see.
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And plans were made
for their future.
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So that you may
build a life together,
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I give you the deed
to one of my many businesses.
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Oh, thank you, Daddy.
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I have so many great ideas.
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Oh, my little vestal non‐virgin,
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leave the business talk
to the men.
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(sighs)
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Now, Obeseus,
to get things started,
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please, take some slaves
on the house.
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Aw, slaves?
You shouldn't ha...
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(gasps)
I can't own my friends.
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I swore a sacred oath
to free them.
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CURATOR:
Majora then understood:
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for a woman to have
any voice in this world,
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it would have to come out
of her husband's stupid mouth.
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My love, you are so noble
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to take on the backbreaking work
of four men,
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day in, day out,
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no matter how poor and hungry
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- it shall leave you.
- (weak chuckle)
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Look, fellas, no one honors
oaths more than me.
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No one.
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Just give me a little time
till we get on our feet,
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00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:44,531
then I'll totally free you.
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00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:46,599
Management thanks you
for your patience.
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CURATOR:And, so, in choosinggreed over loyalty,
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the young couple
began their rise to power...
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and their fall from grace.
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Well, now I feel stupid
getting them a wedding gift.
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(whines)
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CURATOR: Obeseus entered
the second act of his life
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00:08:07,982 --> 00:08:11,045
running the dirty,
bloody business
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given to him
by his father‐in‐law‐‐
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00:08:12,681 --> 00:08:14,783
a laundromat.
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(yawns)
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CURATOR:Fun fact: in Ancient Rome,clothes were washed
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with ammonia, which
is derived from human urine.
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00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:24,921
What's up, Dad?
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00:08:24,956 --> 00:08:26,290
How's the whiz biz?
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00:08:26,357 --> 00:08:29,727
- Mellow and yellow.
- (laughs)
202
00:08:29,794 --> 00:08:31,495
Why is the store closed?
203
00:08:31,562 --> 00:08:32,663
It's only noon.
204
00:08:32,730 --> 00:08:34,999
Me and the fellas
are all peed out.
205
00:08:35,066 --> 00:08:38,269
How am I supposed to make things
clean without human waste?
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00:08:38,336 --> 00:08:40,171
This business has been
failing for years
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00:08:40,237 --> 00:08:42,540
because you've been
phoning it in.
208
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,208
Figure it out.
209
00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:47,044
Hey, uh, "boss"?
(groans)
210
00:08:47,111 --> 00:08:48,346
We came up with an idea that
211
00:08:48,412 --> 00:08:50,448
could increase ammonia
production.
212
00:08:50,514 --> 00:08:53,184
All you got to do is put
these jugs outside of taverns,
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00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:55,319
and you'll get
your urinus gratis.
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00:08:55,386 --> 00:08:58,622
Crowdsourcing
a streaming service, eh?
215
00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:00,825
- I'm a genius!
- (all huff)
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00:09:00,891 --> 00:09:02,693
♪ ♪
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CURATOR:Stealing the ideaof his indentured friends,
218
00:09:06,163 --> 00:09:08,265
Obeseus was soon flush
219
00:09:08,332 --> 00:09:09,700
- in liquid assets.
- (sloshing)
220
00:09:09,767 --> 00:09:11,402
And he was able
to move his family
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00:09:11,469 --> 00:09:14,372
to the more prosperous
side of town.
222
00:09:14,438 --> 00:09:16,640
("Movin' on Up"
playing in Latin)
223
00:09:42,066 --> 00:09:44,502
Lennus, I'm fatigued.
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00:09:44,568 --> 00:09:46,037
Yawn for me?
225
00:09:46,103 --> 00:09:48,873
(yawns loudly)
226
00:09:48,939 --> 00:09:51,742
Obeseus, we gave you
the idea that made you rich.
227
00:09:51,809 --> 00:09:54,045
How about making good
on your promise,
228
00:09:54,111 --> 00:09:55,579
and freeing us now?
229
00:09:55,646 --> 00:09:57,915
Guys, guys, guys,
thank you so much
230
00:09:57,982 --> 00:09:59,283
for bringing this up.
231
00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:01,685
I'm really lucky
to own friends like you.
232
00:10:01,752 --> 00:10:03,687
Tell you what,
I'll have my accountant
233
00:10:03,754 --> 00:10:05,890
crunch the letters,
and we'll circle back.
234
00:10:05,956 --> 00:10:07,191
The important thing is
235
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:09,660
we started a conversation.
236
00:10:09,727 --> 00:10:10,928
(all grumble)
237
00:10:10,995 --> 00:10:12,496
♪ ♪
238
00:10:13,798 --> 00:10:16,233
And now let us
thank Lord Jupiter
239
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:20,037
for a bountiful harvest
by draining the blood
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00:10:20,104 --> 00:10:23,207
of this baby goat.
241
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,274
‐(bleats) ‐(grunts)
242
00:10:24,308 --> 00:10:26,210
Aw, these seats suck.
243
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,245
Can't even see
the entrails from here.
244
00:10:28,312 --> 00:10:31,649
Well, they save all
the best seats for the senators.
245
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,117
(Homer whines)
246
00:10:33,184 --> 00:10:35,086
Hmm.
247
00:10:35,152 --> 00:10:37,888
What if you became a senator?
248
00:10:37,955 --> 00:10:40,257
Think about how much
more respected we'd be.
249
00:10:40,324 --> 00:10:43,260
I don't know.
It sounds like a lot of work.
250
00:10:43,327 --> 00:10:44,862
Sitting there all day,
251
00:10:44,929 --> 00:10:47,698
listening, voting on stuff
with my thumb.
252
00:10:47,765 --> 00:10:49,133
But think of the perks.
253
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,869
You'll get invited
to fancier orgies.
254
00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:54,772
- The kinds with women.
- They have those?
255
00:10:54,839 --> 00:10:58,642
CURATOR:And with that, Obeseusmarched down the Appian Way
256
00:10:58,709 --> 00:11:00,678
to plead his case
to the emperor,
257
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:04,081
confident that he would be
welcomed into the senate.
258
00:11:04,148 --> 00:11:07,685
(laughs)
The pee guy, a senator?
259
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:10,087
That would be an insult
to the dignity of this office.
260
00:11:10,154 --> 00:11:13,090
Now if you'll excuse me,
Senator Horse and I
261
00:11:13,157 --> 00:11:15,493
are going shopping
for lewd pottery.
262
00:11:16,494 --> 00:11:18,629
Oh...
263
00:11:19,630 --> 00:11:20,898
Stupid emperor.
264
00:11:20,965 --> 00:11:24,435
Thinks he's great
'cause his bangs are so curly.
265
00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,471
Oh, Majora's gonna be so mad.
266
00:11:27,538 --> 00:11:30,641
I'd do anything to be a senator.
267
00:11:30,708 --> 00:11:31,976
Anything, eh?
268
00:11:32,042 --> 00:11:34,778
You know, as the emperor's
politically adopted son,
269
00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:38,349
I am next in line to the throne
should anything happen to...
270
00:11:38,415 --> 00:11:40,184
(chuckles) Daddy.
271
00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:42,953
Like, say, him slipping
and falling back‐first
272
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:44,255
onto a knife.
273
00:11:44,321 --> 00:11:46,624
Oh, that happened to me once.
Sucked.
274
00:11:46,690 --> 00:11:49,493
(groans) Kill the emperor
and I'll make you a senator.
275
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:52,329
(gasps) Kill the emperor
to become senator?
276
00:11:52,396 --> 00:11:54,331
But what's in it for me?
277
00:11:54,398 --> 00:11:56,267
CURATOR:
Jacta alea est.
278
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,402
The die was cast.
279
00:11:58,469 --> 00:12:01,639
♪ When in Rome you doas the Romans do ♪
280
00:12:01,705 --> 00:12:05,042
♪ You play as the Romansplay together. ♪
281
00:12:05,109 --> 00:12:07,044
Hey, get out of here, you.
282
00:12:07,111 --> 00:12:08,812
This is my private vomitorium
283
00:12:08,879 --> 00:12:12,082
and I've got a belly
full of hot figs. (heaves)
284
00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:15,052
- (groans)
- Come on, you figs. (heaves)
285
00:12:15,119 --> 00:12:17,354
(grunting)
286
00:12:18,856 --> 00:12:22,326
Et... tu... pee guy?
287
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:25,763
‐(grunts) ‐(whimpers)
288
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,765
(laughs)
History rules!
289
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:28,933
(grunts)
290
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:30,467
Poor Majora.
291
00:12:30,534 --> 00:12:32,970
She wanted her husband
to be more ambitious,
292
00:12:33,037 --> 00:12:34,705
but not like this.
293
00:12:34,772 --> 00:12:36,941
Well, actually...
294
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:38,375
Mm‐hmm.
(exclaims)
295
00:12:38,442 --> 00:12:42,079
Give me a kiss,
you big, stabby go‐getter.
296
00:12:42,146 --> 00:12:43,347
- Ooh.
- (moaning)
297
00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:44,949
(Majora chuckles)
298
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,650
I love my job.
299
00:12:50,393 --> 00:12:51,677
CURATOR:
Over the next ten years,
300
00:12:51,678 --> 00:12:53,934
Senator Obeseus' power
grew vastly,
301
00:12:54,602 --> 00:12:56,037
as did his toga size.
302
00:12:56,103 --> 00:12:58,472
And Majora reveled
in the high status,
303
00:12:58,539 --> 00:12:59,941
hosting the town's elite
304
00:13:00,007 --> 00:13:02,543
at her lavish Saturnalia party.
305
00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:06,180
(laughs)
I love your holiday decorations.
306
00:13:06,247 --> 00:13:08,783
It lets those pesky Christians
know they aren't going to win
307
00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:10,785
the war on Saturnalia.
308
00:13:10,852 --> 00:13:12,320
So, noble slaves,
309
00:13:12,386 --> 00:13:15,790
what gift do you desire
from your benevolent master?
310
00:13:15,857 --> 00:13:18,226
Uh... our friggin' freedom.
311
00:13:18,713 --> 00:13:21,449
Yeah, well,
the thing about that is...
312
00:13:22,223 --> 00:13:24,192
Why do we even bother
asking anymore?
313
00:13:24,258 --> 00:13:25,793
He's never gonna free us.
314
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:28,429
This has been
building up for a while:
315
00:13:28,496 --> 00:13:30,098
you give slave owners
a bad name.
316
00:13:30,164 --> 00:13:31,666
(gasps)
What?
317
00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:34,669
- (sighs) What a giant jerk.
- Ugh, he's the worst.
318
00:13:34,736 --> 00:13:37,572
Dad, Bartigula's out of control.
319
00:13:37,638 --> 00:13:40,208
Look what he's doing
to Ptolemaic Book Guy.
320
00:13:40,274 --> 00:13:42,844
- Ow.
- Why are you flaying yourself?
321
00:13:42,910 --> 00:13:45,046
- Ow!
- Why are you flaying yourself?
322
00:13:45,113 --> 00:13:46,914
An interesting paradox.
323
00:13:46,981 --> 00:13:50,251
For does free will
truly exist or... Ow!
324
00:13:50,318 --> 00:13:51,919
Growing up rich and spoiled
325
00:13:51,986 --> 00:13:54,789
has turned your son
into a monster.
326
00:13:54,856 --> 00:13:55,857
It's not my fault.
327
00:13:55,923 --> 00:13:57,692
I never spend any time with him.
328
00:13:57,759 --> 00:13:58,826
(grumbles)
329
00:13:58,893 --> 00:14:00,194
Aw.
330
00:14:00,261 --> 00:14:02,697
My son's a maniac.
My daughter's not a son.
331
00:14:02,764 --> 00:14:04,932
My slaves hate me
for some reason.
332
00:14:04,999 --> 00:14:07,168
(sighs)
Heavy lies the head
333
00:14:07,235 --> 00:14:10,538
that wears the wig
of curly bangs.
334
00:14:10,605 --> 00:14:11,639
Mm.
335
00:14:11,706 --> 00:14:13,441
I'm spent.
336
00:14:13,508 --> 00:14:17,145
Just gonna take a bath in warm
donkey milk and go to sleep.
337
00:14:17,211 --> 00:14:20,281
I can't believe the emperor
didn't even come to my party.
338
00:14:20,348 --> 00:14:23,151
He wouldn't even be emperor
if not for you.
339
00:14:23,217 --> 00:14:24,795
Yeah, well, what do you want me
to do about it‐‐
340
00:14:24,819 --> 00:14:26,621
kill the emperor?
341
00:14:26,687 --> 00:14:29,323
Well, if that's what you want.
342
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,759
You can even
use the present I got you.
343
00:14:31,826 --> 00:14:33,761
Sweet jumpin' Jupiter!
344
00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:35,063
What more do you want?
345
00:14:35,129 --> 00:14:36,464
We started at the bottom
346
00:14:36,531 --> 00:14:39,067
and now we're
one rung from the top.
347
00:14:39,133 --> 00:14:41,636
It's a natural stopping point.
348
00:14:41,702 --> 00:14:43,805
Will you never be satisfied?
349
00:14:43,871 --> 00:14:46,074
Pardon me, Senator.
350
00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:49,577
I'm sorry you find my ambition
so distasteful.
351
00:14:49,644 --> 00:14:50,845
Just remember:
352
00:14:50,912 --> 00:14:54,382
power comes to those
who take it.
353
00:14:56,617 --> 00:14:58,286
Mmm.
(chuckles)
354
00:14:58,352 --> 00:15:00,721
Aw, yeah. Yeah.
355
00:15:00,788 --> 00:15:02,723
Milk, milk, milk.
356
00:15:02,790 --> 00:15:04,992
- ♪ ♪
- (cheering)
357
00:15:05,593 --> 00:15:07,061
To the Roman Empire.
358
00:15:07,128 --> 00:15:10,665
May it last forever,
in some strange form or another.
359
00:15:10,731 --> 00:15:12,500
Ooh.
360
00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:14,335
Can't be too careful these days.
361
00:15:14,402 --> 00:15:15,870
Oh, taster.
362
00:15:18,606 --> 00:15:20,174
‐(grunting) ‐Poison.
363
00:15:20,241 --> 00:15:22,176
Some has tried to kill me.
364
00:15:22,243 --> 00:15:23,911
(gasps)
You didn't?
365
00:15:23,978 --> 00:15:25,613
You wouldn't.
366
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,649
When I find whoever did this,
I will crush them like a...
367
00:15:28,716 --> 00:15:30,351
(grunts)
368
00:15:31,686 --> 00:15:33,087
(sniffs)
369
00:15:34,889 --> 00:15:37,925
- (all gasp)
- The emperor is dead!
370
00:15:37,992 --> 00:15:40,561
Who will nominate his successor?
371
00:15:40,628 --> 00:15:43,664
Friends, Romans, countrymen.
372
00:15:43,731 --> 00:15:45,299
That's me.
373
00:15:45,366 --> 00:15:46,968
We deserve an emperor who can
374
00:15:47,034 --> 00:15:49,537
boldly lead us into the future.
375
00:15:49,604 --> 00:15:51,672
My son, Bartigula.
376
00:15:51,739 --> 00:15:53,341
Wha?!
377
00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:55,943
He was born rich,
378
00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:58,579
so he got to be good
at business.
379
00:15:58,646 --> 00:16:00,548
(chanting):
Bartigula!
380
00:16:00,615 --> 00:16:04,185
Bartigula! Bartigula!
381
00:16:04,252 --> 00:16:06,954
Bartigula!
382
00:16:07,021 --> 00:16:10,424
CURATOR:And so began the reignof Bartigula the Jerk.
383
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:13,294
Eager to expand the empire,
he declared war
384
00:16:13,361 --> 00:16:16,297
on Neptune, God of the sea.
385
00:16:16,364 --> 00:16:18,499
Despite some early victories,
386
00:16:18,566 --> 00:16:21,469
thousands drowned.
387
00:16:21,536 --> 00:16:24,539
Bartigula blamed
the troubles of Rome
388
00:16:24,605 --> 00:16:27,141
on foreign invaders.
389
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:30,945
So he built a large and
expensive wall to keep them out.
390
00:16:31,012 --> 00:16:32,513
Awk, who needs ya?
391
00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:34,348
Ya Carthage‐sacking
392
00:16:34,415 --> 00:16:36,417
aqueduct guzzlers.
393
00:16:36,484 --> 00:16:38,953
CURATOR:And finally,to silence his critics,
394
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:42,557
Bartigula dissolved the senate.
395
00:16:42,623 --> 00:16:44,759
Aah!
396
00:16:44,825 --> 00:16:47,962
CURATOR:The young emperorhad gone mad with power.
397
00:16:48,029 --> 00:16:49,764
And syphilis.
398
00:16:49,830 --> 00:16:51,365
Listen up, Rome‐wads.
399
00:16:51,432 --> 00:16:52,466
The empire's in crisis,
400
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,368
the economy's
in the crapatorium,
401
00:16:54,435 --> 00:16:56,571
and Neptune's
kicking our butts, somehow.
402
00:16:56,637 --> 00:16:58,573
I now realize...
403
00:16:58,639 --> 00:17:01,809
I can no longer be your emperor.
404
00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:02,876
Oh. Phew.
405
00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:05,613
Because I am now your god!
406
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,014
(crowd clamoring)
407
00:17:07,081 --> 00:17:09,183
That's it.
I'm taking a stand.
408
00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:10,484
(grunting)
409
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,753
My son isn't a god.
410
00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:15,056
He's just
an entitled little psycho.
411
00:17:15,122 --> 00:17:17,525
Society must come to its senses
412
00:17:17,592 --> 00:17:19,760
and overthrow this madman!
413
00:17:19,827 --> 00:17:22,129
- Uh... uh...
- Hmm. I don't know.
414
00:17:22,196 --> 00:17:24,532
Blasphemy!
Seize him!
415
00:17:25,499 --> 00:17:27,868
For your heresy, Father,
I sentence you
416
00:17:27,935 --> 00:17:30,338
to be eaten by the lions.
417
00:17:30,404 --> 00:17:31,405
(gasps)
418
00:17:31,472 --> 00:17:34,342
Hmm.
We're gonna need more lions.
419
00:17:34,408 --> 00:17:36,143
Why are we here?
420
00:17:36,210 --> 00:17:38,346
They said I could bring
a couple of belongings.
421
00:17:38,412 --> 00:17:41,582
Hey, this is where we made
our freedom pact, remember?
422
00:17:41,649 --> 00:17:44,919
The one you refused to honor
for 20 years.
423
00:17:44,986 --> 00:17:47,054
(sighs)
Not freeing you guys
424
00:17:47,121 --> 00:17:49,490
was the first worst thing
I ever did,
425
00:17:49,557 --> 00:17:52,927
but I hereby decree you
to be emancipated.
426
00:17:52,994 --> 00:17:55,429
Now face the dawn as free men.
427
00:17:55,496 --> 00:17:58,799
- We're in a jail cell, you dope.
- (whines)
428
00:18:00,668 --> 00:18:03,170
Father, we have
to get you out of the city.
429
00:18:03,237 --> 00:18:05,039
Hurry, and you can still escape.
430
00:18:05,106 --> 00:18:06,774
No, I'm not going to run.
431
00:18:06,841 --> 00:18:08,576
Because you physically can't?
432
00:18:08,643 --> 00:18:10,278
Yes, mostly, but also
433
00:18:10,344 --> 00:18:13,881
because we have to stop
Bartigula and save the republic.
434
00:18:13,948 --> 00:18:16,484
Are you fellas with me?
435
00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:18,452
Uh... no.
436
00:18:18,519 --> 00:18:21,088
(groans)
437
00:18:21,155 --> 00:18:23,257
Oh.
438
00:18:23,324 --> 00:18:25,192
CURATOR:
Though he had lost everything,
439
00:18:25,259 --> 00:18:29,330
Obeseus still had the heart
of a warrior.
440
00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:34,335
(laughing)
441
00:18:34,402 --> 00:18:36,537
Looks like Hannibal's
missing an elephant.
442
00:18:36,604 --> 00:18:37,905
‐(laughter) ‐Oh, yeah.
443
00:18:37,972 --> 00:18:41,509
All hail the living god.
444
00:18:41,575 --> 00:18:43,377
We who are about to die
445
00:18:43,444 --> 00:18:45,646
salute you.
446
00:18:45,713 --> 00:18:47,348
- Oh!
- (crowd laughing)
447
00:18:47,415 --> 00:18:48,916
(groans)
448
00:18:48,983 --> 00:18:52,053
You dare show me
your moon flaps?
449
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:55,790
I will teach this old fool
who is the true gluteus maximus.
450
00:18:55,856 --> 00:18:58,292
Bartigula, no!
451
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:00,561
CURATOR:
There, in front of all Rome,
452
00:19:00,628 --> 00:19:04,265
father and son
engaged in bloody battle.
453
00:19:05,299 --> 00:19:07,001
(whimpers)
454
00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:08,769
CURATOR:
Bartigula was fast,
455
00:19:08,836 --> 00:19:11,372
but Obeseus was fatter.
456
00:19:11,439 --> 00:19:13,441
(grunts)
457
00:19:13,507 --> 00:19:16,277
(growling)
458
00:19:16,344 --> 00:19:19,914
CROWD (chanting):
Kill the god! Kill the god!
459
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:23,317
Obe, please spare our boy.
460
00:19:23,384 --> 00:19:24,885
What?
461
00:19:24,952 --> 00:19:28,389
(chuckles)
Sic semper this, you fat load.
462
00:19:29,423 --> 00:19:31,359
Why, you littleus...
463
00:19:31,425 --> 00:19:33,427
(both grunting)
464
00:19:36,197 --> 00:19:38,199
No!
465
00:19:38,265 --> 00:19:40,434
(panting)
My life is over.
466
00:19:40,501 --> 00:19:44,505
I failed Rome,
was a less‐than‐perfect father.
467
00:19:44,572 --> 00:19:46,040
Worst of all,
468
00:19:46,107 --> 00:19:49,043
I really
screwed over my friends.
469
00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:51,212
May the... gods...
470
00:19:51,278 --> 00:19:53,114
forgive me.
471
00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:55,516
(grunts)
472
00:19:55,583 --> 00:19:57,618
I poisoned everything I loved
473
00:19:57,685 --> 00:19:59,620
with my boundless ambition.
474
00:19:59,687 --> 00:20:02,423
My family is no more.
475
00:20:03,557 --> 00:20:04,892
(sighs)
476
00:20:04,959 --> 00:20:06,894
Mom, what about me?
477
00:20:06,961 --> 00:20:09,930
We never really... clicked.
478
00:20:09,997 --> 00:20:12,967
CURATOR:
With that, the match was lit
479
00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:15,636
that would burn Rome
to the ground...
480
00:20:15,703 --> 00:20:17,638
400 years later.
481
00:20:17,705 --> 00:20:19,907
Haw‐haw!
482
00:20:20,908 --> 00:20:23,811
Who knew
history could be so sad?
483
00:20:23,878 --> 00:20:26,113
The moral
of that story is clear:
484
00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:28,749
Marge is wrong
and ambition is terrible.
485
00:20:28,816 --> 00:20:32,219
No, no, no. The lesson
is that the unchecked lust
486
00:20:32,286 --> 00:20:33,721
for money and power can bring
487
00:20:33,788 --> 00:20:36,323
a once‐great nation to ruin.
488
00:20:36,390 --> 00:20:39,093
Does anyone think it was weird
that Dad killed me?
489
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,262
Don't blame me.
Blame your mother.
490
00:20:41,328 --> 00:20:44,098
I just wanted you to go to
one lousy training seminar.
491
00:20:44,165 --> 00:20:46,333
Did you not even listen
to the old guy's story about...
492
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,536
- (overlapping chatter)
- (Curator groans)
493
00:20:48,602 --> 00:20:51,005
When will humanity ever learn...
494
00:20:51,071 --> 00:20:54,942
to stop letting stupid people
into museums?
495
00:20:59,696 --> 00:21:02,462
- (overlapping chatter)
- They're missing the whole point.
496
00:21:02,463 --> 00:21:05,100
If Rome had kept worshipping us,
everything would have been fine.
497
00:21:05,516 --> 00:21:07,117
Get over it, Dad.
498
00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:10,387
You always get so worked up
whenever you watch the mortals.
499
00:21:10,454 --> 00:21:11,788
Can we change the channel?
500
00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:13,390
This show sucks now.
501
00:21:13,457 --> 00:21:16,894
Yeah, it's totally gone
off the rails since season 2016.
502
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,163
I know, but I want
to see how it ends.
503
00:21:19,229 --> 00:21:21,532
Definitely feels
like they're wrapping it up.
504
00:21:21,598 --> 00:21:23,901
Any day now.
505
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,475
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
506
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:34,311
♪ When in Romeyou do like the Romans do ♪
507
00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:37,948
♪ You play likethe Romans play together ♪
508
00:21:38,015 --> 00:21:40,484
♪ You're all invited,so right this way ♪
509
00:21:40,551 --> 00:21:44,221
♪ You're gonnameet the Roman holidays. ♪
510
00:21:44,271 --> 00:21:48,821
Repair and Synchronization by
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