Original subtitles

-Hello.

This is Johnny Strange of Action Incorporated.

No, not Strange Action Incorporated.

Johnny Strange of Action Incorporated.

Yeah.

I want to place an add in help wanted, female.

Mm-hm.

Wanted-- secretary to human dynamo.

Exclamation point.

Must be blonde, beautiful, between 22 and 28.

Unmarried.

With skin you love to touch and a heart you can't.

Yeah.

Apply Johnny Strange, Action Incorporated,

610 security building.

Uh-huh, that's right.

Run it 'til I tell you to stop.

-You can stop it now, please.

Mr. Strange has just filled the position.

The name is Geraldine Smith.

For the first week I'd like to be called Ms. Smith.

After that, if it doesn't give you any ideas,

you may call me Gerry.

I presume that fly-catching expression

is the way a human dynamo registers astonishment.

-Say, what is this?

Where' you come from?

-Through that door.

And as a psychological moment, too.

Do you believe in fate, Mr. Strange?

-Yeah.

And I also believe in Santa Claus

and pixies and nervy young women.

-Now, is that nice, after I save you the cost of an add?

-Now, wait a minute.

I didn't say I'd hire you.

-But I have the qualifications.

I'm not married.

I'm between 22 and 28.

And if you want me blonder that can be arranged.

-Well, uh-- what about the skin you love

to touch and the heart you can't?

-Try both, brother. Just try.

-Oh, hey, watch out with that needle.

-Be careful with those eyes.

-Well, secretary to Johnny Strange is no picnic.

I'm a cross between a public riot and a swarm of bees.

-Ooh, [INAUDIBLE].

I oughta survive.

There.

That's a little extracurricular duty I won't charge you for.

Which reminds me, my salary is $40 a week,

my hospital bill, and bail money.

-You catch on quick, baby.

-Ms. Smith, remember.

Ooh, it's a neat view from the window.

I can always look across at the bank clock

and tell when it's lunch time.

Mm, mm.

Can't say much for this office. -What's the matter with it?

-It needs brightening up.

I don't mean to go overboard like that tie you're wearing,

but-- well, some nice pictures on the wall, some flowers,

some snappy drapery-- and a good cleaning.

Don't you have janitor service?

-Sure.

-Well, they're short-changing you.

Wait 'til I call the building superintendent.

Do you have the phone number?

-Austin, 6835.

-Don't touch that.

That's a secretary's duty.

I'll report you to the union.

One moment, please.

Line's busy.

Action Incorporated, Mr. Strange's secretary speaking.

Oh, one moment please.

Do you take care of people's problems?

-Yep.

-Yes, ma'am.

Problems are our specialty.

Large problem, small problem, any kind of problem.

What's your problem?

Oh, yes indeed.

All cases are strictly confidential.

Yes.

Yes.

Just a moment, please.

Would you mind sitting down?

You're confusing me.

Go ahead, please.

A what?

I'll see.

Do you have a car?

-Sure.

-Yes, he has.

Meet you where?

Oh, fine.

Oh, well, uh-- he's rather good looking.

You might even say handsome.

That is, if you're not too particular.

He's wearing a gray plaid suit with a wolf tie.

A wolf tie.

You know.

[WHISTLE]

That's right.

It's a pleasure to serve you.

Thank you for calling.

Bye.

-Talk about being confused.

Who's supposed to be boss around here, anyway?

-What's the matter?

Didn't I handle it efficiently?

-Well, maybe I don't want the job.

-Of course you do.

-Well, what is it?

-I don't know.

-You don't know?

-No, she wouldn't say.

But it must be very important, the way she acted.

-Well, what's she gonna pay?

-I don't know.

-Well, who is she?

-I don't know.

-Well, that's the greatest example

of efficiency I've ever witnessed.

I'm supposed to meet someone I don't know, do something

I don't know, for how much, I don't know.

Is there anything you do know?

-I know you'll have the answer to those questions

if you'll stop raving, keep your tie on, and park your car

in front of Tilton's jewelry store at 7:30 tonight.

-That's on the busiest block in town.

How am I supposed to park there?

-You won't have any trouble.

There's always space.

It's painted red with a fire plug right in the middle of it.

-What do you think I drive, a fire truck?

Or maybe you want me to get a ticket?

-The cop on that beat is a cinch to talk out of it.

I've done it many times.

And you're as smart as I am, aren't you?

-Any time, chum. Any time.

I can't understand it.

She was running as smooth as a sewing machine

until it got here, and then it clonked out.

Spark plugs are all there.

Carburetor's in the right spot.

Plenty of water.

You suppose-- hey, you're not writing me a ticket!

Haven't you been listening to what I've been telling you?

The car is stalled. It won't run.

[ENGINE STARTING]

-Mr. Jonny Strange? -Yes.

-I'm very sorry I am late.

-So am I.

-Ride to 183 Oak Drive, please.

And hurry.

-Sorry, but there are a few details

I'd like to know before I accept the job.

Like my client's name, what I'm supposed to do,

and when I'm gonna get paid.

-Please, that will come later.

It is most important that we do not waste the time.

-Well, then, you better answer my questions.

Because I'm not leaving here until you do.

Just going, officer.

-Quite a place.

Yours?

-You Americans are so curious.

-That's the way we find out things, sometimes.

I don't get all the mystery.

Why don't you take off that veil so I can see your face?

-I wear this veil because I have just lost my husband.

-Oh. Sorry.

-Will you have a drink? -No thanks.

I always save that until after I've finished the job.

Now, let's get down to cases.

-Pardon? -Let's get started.

What'd you have in mind?

-Come, I will show you.

Him

-Holy smokes.

Who is he?

-My husband.

-The one you just lost?

-Si.

-Died kind of suddenly, didn't he?

You do it?

-Please, I loved him.

-That's no answer.

-No, I did not do it.

But the police, they will think I did it.

That is why you must help me.

You must hide him so he will never be found.

-Oh, you're not talking to me.

-Oh, but yes.

Did you not advertise, your problem is my problem?

-Yeah.

But I didn't mean to take in this much territory.

Looks like I'll have to change that ad.

-I will pay you $1,000.

-Nothing doing.

Playing hide the body is out of my line.

This is one for the police.

-$2,000?

Oh, go away and be quiet.

I'm trying to be a law-abiding citizen.

-$5,000.

-Police department, please.

Hello?

You must come quick to 183 Oak Drive.

Somebody has been shot.

[SIRENS]

[KNOCKING]

-Anybody home?

Somebody here send for the-- well,

if it isn't Johnny Strange of Action Incorporated.

What's going on, John? I guess I better take this.

Mrs. Webb.

I'm at 183 Oak Drive.

Yeah. Send the coroner.

Well, Jonny, what's the story?

-Hello, Ed.

When did you get here?

-What's the story?

-His wife can tell you better than I can.

-Wife?

Anthony Fitch wasn't married.

-Anthony Fitch?

The radio commentator? -Yeah.

As if you didn't know.

I was expecting somebody to put a bullet into him,

but I didn't think it would be you.

-Me? -Come on, John.

Now what did he have on you that you didn't want

his scandal-loving public to hear?

-He didn't have anything on me.

Don't let that correspondence school brain of yours run

away with you.

Where's that woman?

-There was no woman here when we came.

-Oh, don't stand on your big flat feet.

We gotta catch her!

-I've caught everything I need already.

Now look, John, you're in a tough spot.

And the best thing you can do is come clean.

Why, I'll even forget some of the tricks you played on me

and put in a good word for you myself.

-I don't think that'll be necessary.

I saw everything that happened from outside that window.

-Well, who are you?

-Geraldine Smith, Mr. Strange's secretary.

-You were watching from outside the window?

-Yes.

The woman acted so mysteriously on that phone

that-- well, it aroused my curiosity.

So I followed you.

I saw Mr. Strange meet her in front

of Tilton's jewelry store.

That was about, uh, 7:30.

Just after a policeman had given him a ticket.

-That's right. I've got it here with me.

The policeman will remember the woman.

She had a heavy veil over her face.

-When they arrived here I was right behind them.

Then, uh-- that man let them in. -Hey, now, wait a minute--

-Shut up, you, and let her talk.

Go ahead.

-Well, when they came in here, I hurried around to that window.

I couldn't hear everything that was said.

But it seems that that man had some letters

the woman wanted him to give back.

It was quite a bit of an argument.

And then finally that man grabbed the gun

and came at Mr. Strange.

-Gerry, you--

-Keep quiet, you.

-Well, Mr. Strange managed to take it away from him

after a short struggle.

Then the man grabbed the sword from off the wall

and he rushed at Mr. Strange.

Well, he seemed to have grown completely crazy.

So Mr. Strange had to shoot him in self-defense.

-What about the woman?

-Ooh, she was a pretty cool customer.

When Mr. Strange tried to call the police

she tried to bribe him not to.

Offered him quite a bit of money.

When he refused she hit him over the head with the bookend

and went to the desk, got some letters,

and called the police herself, and ran out.

I tried to catch her but she jumped

into a car parked in the street and got away.

Then I heard your sirens and so I came back here.

-Well, I'll be doggone.

You're pretty lucky, Johnny, to have a secretary like her.

-Yeah.

Yeah. [SCREAM]

-What was that?

-Take your big banana-stained paws off of me.

Let me go!

-What have we got here, Cummings?

-I nabbed her sneaking in the back way.

-I wasn't sneaking.

It was my day off and I was just coming in quietly

so I wouldn't disturb Mr. Fitch.

-Mr. Fitch is dead.

-Dead?

Who shot him?

-How'd you know he was shot?

-Well, I-- I didn't.

It was just the first thing that popped

into my mind, that's all.

-Could this be the woman you were talking about?

-No.

She lacks a certain something the other woman had.

-Is-- is anything wrong?

-Well, it all depends on how you look at it, pop.

Who are you? -What say?

-I say, who are you?

-Oh, I'm the gardener.

Ain't Mr. Fitch here?

-Mr. Fitch is here, all right.

-What say?

Mr. Fitch.

What happened to him?

-Oh, it's a long story, pop.

Where do you sleep?

-What say? -What's the matter?

You hard of hearing?

-Oh, no.

I'm slow in thinking.

By getting you to repeat it gives me a chance to keep up.

-Cute, ain't he? Where do you sleep?

Where's your room?

-Over the garage.

-Did you see or hear anything unusual this evening?

I say, did you see or hear anything unusual this evening?

-Oh, yes. Yes, I did.

Just about 10 minutes ago. -What was it?

I say, what was it?

-Well, I heard-- I say, I heard the police sirens shrieking.

You don't hear many of them on this street, you know.

-Well.

Welcome home.

How does it feel to breathe the air of freedom again?

-It fills me with questions.

Whatever possessed you to saddle me

when that self-defense story?

-I wanted to clear you, Johnny.

You were smart to back me up.

-Well, what else could I do?

If I told my story after you told yours,

my neck would be in a noose.

Why didn't you tell the truth?

-Oh, you're a better psychologist than that, Johnny.

It's human nature to believe the worst.

With the evidence against you the thing to do was admit it.

Then make them think you were justified.

And another thing.

How many clients would Action Incorporated

get if they knew how gullible you'd been?

Letting a woman frame you as simply as she did.

-Hm.

You have a point there.

But we're obstructing justice, and you

know what you can get for that.

-You can get more for murder.

Besides, from what I gathered about Anthony Fitch,

he lived too long anyway.

Anyone who makes his living digging into people's lives

looking for dirt deserves a bullet in him.

Aw, come on, Johnny.

Smile and relax.

Your case is closed, and before you know it

you're gonna have more--

-Mind if I come in?

-Not if you wipe your feet.

-She knows all the answers, doesn't she?

-She knows more answers than we do questions.

-I bet she does at that.

I'd certainly like have a secretary like her.

-That what brought you here, Webb?

-No, no, no.

I just came in to congratulate you, Johnny.

-Well, sit down and relax your brain.

-All right. Can't stay but a minute.

Do you mind?

-Help yourself.

-Yep, Johnny, you got out of a tough spot,

thanks to the little lady there.

Her story was really convincing.

-The truth is always convincing.

-Well, I know a lot of people that'll argue about that.

But I won't.

Because I like the truth.

Even though I don't run across it very often in my business.

-Maybe you don't inspire confidence.

-I don't know why it is.

But most of my cases are just like this cigar.

They look all right from the outside,

but when you get the wrapper off, they smell.

-How long did you say you'd been working for Johnny?

-I didn't.

But inasmuch as you're so interested,

I started two days ago.

-Two days ago?

-That's right.

Just two days, three and one-half minutes,

by the bank clock, before the Spanish woman called.

And 4 hours and 38 minutes before Mr. Strange

boosted Anthony Fitch over the great divide.

-Wow.

Can she remember detail. I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll give you 10 bucks a week more than Johnny is paying you.

-Sorry.

But I've been here so long I just

couldn't think of making a change.

-OK, then there's only one other way out.

I'll pin a wrap on Johnny and put

Action Incorporated out of business.

-Don't you wish you could?

-Don't you think I wouldn't, if I got the goods on you.

I'll see you later.

-Yeah, drop around any time.

I'll try not to be here.

-Oh, have you heard from that woman?

You know the one I mean, with the veil

and the Spanish accent?

-No.

Not a thing.

-That's too bad.

I'd like to talk to her.

-Well, when I catch up with her, I'll introduce you.

-That's a promise.

So long, Johnny.

-I'd like to be accommodating, if it ain't too much trouble.

And the reward's big enough.

-Well, it isn't that the diamond's worth so much.

But it's been int he family a long time.

-You say you think you lost it in this room?

-Positive.

The stone was in the ring when I was here before.

And when I got to the police station, it wasn't.

-Well, we'll take a look-see. -You look around the fireplace.

-Sure. -I'll search the desk.

The drawers were open when I was here before,

and it might have fallen in one of them during the struggle.

-Yeah.

-What's become of Mrs. Wilson, the housekeeper?

-What say?

-The housekeeper.

What's become of her?

-Oh, she got another job.

She run out on me and left me with the whole place

in my hands.

-Was Fitch ever married?

-No.

Said he didn't believe in it.

-He believe in girlfriends?

-Sure.

I guess that's why he didn't believe in marriage.

-Did you know the Spanish woman that brought me here?

-I told the police I didn't.

Why should I tell you one thing and them another?

-Well, Mrs. Wilson.

I didn't know you liked to play peek-a-boo.

-What are you doing here, Emma?

-Keeping an eye on things, that's what.

There's been some mighty suspicious

goings-on around this place.

-That's no concern of yours.

You will give me your key to this house

and stay away from here.

-I don't have to.

I've still got some wages coming to me, and until I'm paid,

I'll come here any time I want to.

-I never did like that woman.

-You think she was really spying on us, Ted?

-Oh, of course not.

She was looking for something.

And I know what.

-What?

-Nothing to do with your diamond.

So let's get on with the hunt.

Say, I just remembered.

I vacuumed this room today, and emptied

the trash in the incinerator.

-Incinerator?

Did you burn the things in it?

-Yeah.

But if we don't find your diamond,

I'll sift the ashes tomorrow. -That's a good idea.

-Need a fourth?

-Sorry, this is a three-handed game.

-Why, Johnny, you're getting unsociable.

What do you wanna sift the ashes for, pop?

-The diamond.

His.

-I lost the stone out of my ring the other night.

-Get me Simpson.

Hello, Lou?

This is Webb.

What were the article we checked on Johnny Strange

when we booked him?

Yeah?

Mm-hm.

Uh-huh.

Was the diamond in it? Thanks.

-All right, so it was a gag to get in here

to find a clue on the Spanish woman.

She owes me a fee, you know.

-What's that?

You mean you didn't lose a diamond.

-No.

This is a 10 cent store ring that I took the stone out of.

-Well, doggone it, you've got a lot of nerve

wasting my time like this.

Now clear out of here, all of you.

Go on.

-Come on, kids.

What say wants to be alone.

-You get out of here!

All of you!

Wasting my time, and I got the whole place in my hands.

-Oh, I forgot my hat. I'll be right back.

-Where'd you come from?

Out of the wallpaper?

-Well, I didn't mean to scare you, miss.

-It's all right.

I just didn't hear you.

Did you wish to see Mr. Strange about anything?

-No.

I wanted to see you.

-Me? Well, what about?

-I got something here, miss.

-I'm afraid there's been some mistake.

I'm not interested in these things.

-Oh, quit your fooling.

I seen you put it in the incinerator.

-Why didn't you hand them over to the police?

-Oh, I'm a poor man, miss.

And police won't pay nothing for anything like that.

-And they say it's the younger generation

we have to worry about.

-What say?

-Nothing.

How much do you want?

-Oh, anything that you care to give.

Well.

Thank you.

-And remember, not a word to anyone.

-Oh, don't worry, miss.

Between you and me, I hated Fitch.

Oh-- howdy.

-What did he want?

-He-- oh.

I left my compact there last night.

He just brought it to me.

-Oh.

Honest old guy, isn't he?

Plug this in for me, will you?

-Sure.

Oh, how nice.

Music while we work.

Oh.

Going in for home recordings now?

-No, I picked this up in Fitch's wastebasket last night.

The inscription caught my eye. Hey, be careful.

It's cracked.

I had to tape it together.

-Oh.

Ooh, listen to this.

Darling, I mean every word on this record-- Dodo.

Very sentimental.

I thought dodos were extinct?

-I hope this one isn't.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-It's not a bad voice.

Sounds professional.

-Where have I heard her before?

I know where it was.

I was thrown out of that joint one night.

[APPLAUSE]

-Hello, Rhoda.

We meet again.

-I don't know you.

-Oh, sure you do.

We met in front of Tilton's jewelry store

and took a little ride together.

Remember?

-When I meet a man it's inside Tilton's, not in front of it.

-I see what you mean.

-Then scram.

I don't like strangers in my dressing room

who don't bring flowers.

-What happened to the south of the border accent?

And the veil?

-You must be drink.

Now beat it.

I've got to change.

-How long have you known Anthony Fitch, Rhoda?

-Anthony Fitch?

You've got me mixed up with some other girl, mister.

-Oh, come now, Rhoda.

I know better.

-All right.

So I did know him.

So I sold him a few juicy items for his column.

But it was strictly business.

-Strictly business?

(SINGING) Endlessly-- the way the whole world turns.

Darling, I mean every word on this record.

Dodo.

-How did you get a hold of that record?

-Oh, that's a trade secret.

Suppose we have a little heart-to-heart talk, eh

-OK.

-Well, now, that's better.

So, uh, you sold little juicy stories to Fitch, eh?

-I did.

Until he wanted to pay off with love.

That--

-Then you had a fight with him, eh?

-I don't waste my time fighting with men.

I just stop the merry-go-round and push them off.

-And when did you give Fitch the push-off?

-About a week ago.

-Are you sure it wasn't the day he was killed?

-No, it wasn't.

Now listen, mister.

I don't know what you're looking for,

but you're not going to find it around here.

-Oh, now, there's no use getting sore.

I never know where I'm going to find

what I'm looking for until I look.

Now, in your dealings with Fitch,

did you ever meet or hear him mention a Spanish woman?

She was just about your size and quite a tamale accent.

-Oh, hello, Duke.

-Hello, junior.

How does your head feel?

-Well, it's a little hard to describe.

I'll give you a sample someday, you can see for yourself.

Push my hat back, will you?

-Sure.

-Thanks.

What'd you deal yourself into this for, Duke?

-Because you wouldn't deal yourself out.

You should have been smart and left things alone.

-What do you know about Fitch?

I

-Know you didn't do it.

-Oh? So I was right.

Where's your girlfriends who sings in your nightclub?

-Hm?

You're way off the beam, junior.

Rhoda didn't do it.

-Well, that sort of elects you, then, doesn't it?

-It looks like it, doesn't it?

But I didn't rub him out.

-Then how do you know it wasn't me?

-Because I got there right after he was plugged.

And that's before you arrived.

-Things are getting muddier all the time.

-I don't mind clearing up my end of it.

Rhoda had some business deals with Fitch.

And that was OK with me.

But when they started mixing pleasure in with business

I was annoyed.

So I drove out there to tell them I was annoyed, that's all.

-But somebody beat you to it, eh?

-Yeah.

Somebody was just as annoyed as I was.

-Is this level, Duke?

-As a billiard table.

-OK.

That clears your end, as far as I'm concerned.

If you'll just drop me anyplace here

I can find my way back to town.

-Sorry, junior.

I can't run the risk of you stirring up trouble.

-I won't drag you into it.

-You couldn't help yourself.

If the cops got wise you didn't do it,

they'd put the finger on me.

Oh, I've got a witness that could clear me.

But at the moment, if I can help,

I don't want to use that witness.

-All right, then.

I'll drop the whole investigation.

-That's what I would say if I were in your shoes, junior.

Stop at Inspiration Point, Jerry.

Bring the weight.

-You're pulling a boner, Duke.

I left my secretary at a table in your club.

If I don't get back, you know what's going to happen.

-Thanks for the tip, junior.

I'll have one of my boys take her home.

No more of that, junior.

Get that rope tied, quick.

Hurry up.

-Up with them.

Well, trying a new method, eh, Duke?

Cut him loose.

-Are you all right, Johnny?

-Yeah, sure.

-Well, Duke, it looks like you'll be operating the Penguin

Club by remote control for a long time.

You got a nice case against him, Johnny.

-You're going off half-cocked again, Webb.

I haven't got anything against Duke.

-You mean you're not going to prefer charges against him

for attempted murder?

-Why should I, when it wasn't?

Duke and I were just settling a little bet, that's all.

-A bet? -Yeah.

I bet him $500 I could do a Houdini off that bluff

and get free in 20 feet of water.

-Yeah.

Sure.

Johnny and I had a little bet.

Johnny's a very smart boy.

-Yeah, I see.

Well, I'll take $100 worth of that bet myself.

Tie him up again and throw him in.

-Hey, now, wait a minute.

Sorry.

I'm out of the mood.

-That's OK with me.

You win anyway.

-You mean that?

-Sure.

-OK, then.

Pay off.

-All right.

-Thanks, Duke.

Here.

Buy yourself a good cigar.

Come on, Gerry.

-What kind of a--

-Sometimes the things you do make me mad, Johnny Strange.

If somebody tried to dunk me with a weight around me--

-I had to cover him to cover myself.

Obstructing justice, remember?

-But he doesn't know anything about Fitch.

-What makes you say that?

-I mean, does he?

-Yeah.

By a strange coincidence, he does.

Seemed like he stopped in to see Fitch

to give him a lesson in geometry, and--

-Geometry?

-Yeah.

He wanted to show him how to remove one angle of a triangle.

But when he got there, the angle had already been removed.

That was before I made my entrance with Madame X.

-Did he say who it was who removed the angle?

-No.

When I popped in and started asking questions

he decided he better muzzle me before the cops got

wise to the fact that I didn't do it and he lands on the spot.

Does that explain my unusual conduct satisfactorily?

-Very.

And, under the circumstances, I withdraw my criticism.

-Thank you, beautiful.

And now would you mind explaining how you happened

to arrive at the crucial moment?

-It was pure luck, Johnny.

While I was waiting for you to come back to the table

Webb happened to come in.

-Not happened.

He was tailing us, thank goodness.

-Well, anyway.

When I got worried I asked him to help me look for you.

We saw the car just as they drove away with you.

-That's the second time you've come to my rescue, beautiful.

-I'm afraid of the third time, Johnny.

Give up the search.

Please?

-Why, beautiful.

That sounds like you really cared.

I hope.

-Careful, boss.

I think your secretary is going to ask for a raise.

-Morning, beautiful.

-Mm.

What are you so chippered about?

-I dunno.

Maybe it's love.

What do you think?

-I think you better have some breakfast.

-No thanks.

I've already eaten.

With Mr. Augustus H. Bailey.

-Fitch's sponsor? -Yeah.

And this time I think I'm on the right track at last.

-Find out anything?

-Yes.

That Fitch had an item in his next broadcast

which he claimed would really cause

a ripple on the upper crust.

Gerry, I think that item was the motive for Fitch's murder.

-Uh, did Mr. Bailey know what the item was?

-No.

He never received a copy of the script.

So it must still be in Fitch's study.

-Well, here we go again.

-Oh.

Terribly sorry, sir.

I'm awfully sorry.

Please excuse me, sir.

And I hope that music didn't bother you.

No script, no notes, no nothing.

Evidently I was on the right track, but I've been derailed.

-That's too bad, Johnny.

But we better get out of here before Webb pops in

or old man Boggs catches us.

-We might as well.

I don't know where else-- to look.

Wait a minute, Gerry.

This carbon paper has the imprint

of what was typed on it.

Broadcast for May 22nd.

Good evening, radio audience.

This is Anthony Fitch, who knows all,

sees all, and is paid to tell it.

So let's get on with the week's news.

It's rumored that Congress is gonna

pass-- I don't think anyone would kill

Fitch for what Congress is gonna do.

Butter, butter, who's got the butter?

Not the American housewives, says-- nah.

It's up, it's down, it's up.

That's the stock market during the hectic-- enough of that.

This might be it.

And now, for the scoop of the week.

Hold on to your hats, you tophatters.

Almost two years ago dapper Joe Parker,

leader of the infamous Parker gang of artistic safe-crackers

and bank-busters, met an untimely--

but, for us, fortunate-- end, when his car crashed

into a tree while being pursued by the police.

I remember that.

The occasion for this chase was a bank job on which Parker's

plans had gone astray, and his companion in the car

was a young woman, a blonde.

That was established, but no more.

For when the police reached the scene of the accident,

the woman had disappeared.

-Go ahead.

-And after a few months the authorities abandoned the hunt.

But not your reporter, who smelled a sensational story

and stuck grimly to the quest.

As I said before, hold onto your hats,

you tophatters, for this elusive blonde, this companion of Joe

Parker's on his fatal ride, is none other than the socially

prominent-- where's that other-- Gerry!

-Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Johnny!

I must have dropped ashes on it.

It was terribly clumsy of me, wasn't it?

-You can say that again.

-Anne!

-Gerry!

-How long have you been here?

-A couple of hours.

The landlady let me in.

-But how did you know where I live?

-This article about the inquest gave your address.

Or Geraldine Smith's address.

I recognized your picture in spite of the dark lashes

you were wearing.

What does it mean, Gerry?

Why have you changed your name, and where are you working?

-Now, now.

There's nothing to worry your pretty head about.

-I can't help it, Gerry.

If the police should ever find out--

-But they won't, honey.

Everything's been covered up.

I even got the radio script and destroyed it.

-Oh, Gerry.

-Is Tom with you?

-No, he's still in Washington. -And that's where you oughta be.

You shouldn't be here.

[BUZZ]

Go into my bedroom.

Here, take your things.

JOHNNY: Hey, beautiful.

GERRY: Seems to me I just left you a few minutes ago.

JOHNNY: Yeah, I know.

But I just thought of another angle.

I wanted to talk it over with you.

-No more angles, Johnny.

You promised. -Just hear what I have to say.

If it doesn't interest you, we'll skip it.

This won't take long.

Give me a cigarette, will you?

-Sorry, I haven't any.

-Nowhere?

-Nowhere.

-I guess I'll just have to do without.

Oh, uh-- about that new angle-- oh, before I start,

I'm not going back to the office,

and I promised the building superintendent

I'd give him a check for the rent.

Will you call him and tell him I'll

bring it in first thing in the morning.

-Sure.

Uh, what's the number?

-Oh.

Austin, 6835.

-Austin, 6835.

Thank you.

-What's the matter?

-Number's been changed.

-Yeah, I know.

I called it myself form the corner drugstore.

They changed in three weeks before you came to work for me.

-So what?

-So, I'm just trying to prove something, baby.

That you didn't call the superintendent from my office,

and also that you don't smoke.

Except in emergencies, like burning carbon paper.

-You're jumping at conclusions, Johnny.

-I wish I were, beautiful.

Believe me.

This is the first time in my life

I've ever prayed I was wrong.

But when it adds up, it adds up.

When you dialed the superintendent just

now on that phone, what happened?

You automatically got the operator,

who gave you the new number.

The same thing would have happened that day in my office

if you'd called that number.

Ordinarily, I'm not so slow.

But it was that phone conversation

with the Spanish dame that threw me.

I couldn't tie you in when she was in the picture.

But now I get it.

You know I had two phones and two different lines.

So you used the excuse of calling the superintendent

on one phone, and really dialed my other one.

What a perfect frame-up.

You get me in and you get me out and everybody's happy.

No wonder you were so willing to obstruct justice.

As you so aptly put it, they give you more for murder.

Am I still jumping at conclusions?

-No, Johnny.

-You've played a lot of parts, haven't you?

Secretary, Spanish dame, and Joe Parker's blonde girlfriend.

Just out of curiosity, would you mind telling me--

-My sister was not Joe Parker's companion.

I was.

-Anne, no.

Don't pay any attention to her.

She's only trying to protect me.

I was with Parker when he was killed,

and I shot Anthony Fitch when he found it out.

-You shot him? But I thought he shot hm.

That's what it said in the papers.

-You mean you believed that story?

-Why shouldn't I?

Don't stand there just looking at me.

What is it, Gerry?

Tell me and let me help you.

We'll get the best lawyer in the whole--

-It's all right, honey.

It's all right.

I didn't kill Fitch.

I only said that because I thought you did.

-Me?

-Well I knew how desperate you were.

And when I read your note you were going to see him

I rushed over there.

When I found him dead I naturally

thought you had done it.

-But I never went there.

I changed my mind instead and flew to Washington

and told Tom the whole story.

-Oh, Anne.

Isn't it wonderful, Johnny?

-No.

I'm completely confused.

How about letting me hear some of this story?

-Of course, Johnny.

I'm sorry.

Our real name is Travis.

Father's Winton Travis.

-The senator? -Mm-hm.

And Anne is married to Thomas Lowe, a congressman.

-Well how did a guy like Joe Parker get into that picture?

-Oh.

Well, I met him one day when my car broke down.

He was good-looking and smooth, and so I

went out with him a few times.

Then one day when he was taking me to lunch he said he wanted

to stop in the bank and get a check cashed.

The next thing I knew the police were chasing

is and I discovered what it was.

-After the crash Anne came to me and I made her keep quiet.

The scandal would have hurt father, as well as Tom,

to whom Anne was engaged at the time.

Well, then, Anthony Fitch discovered her identity

and threatened to reveal it unless she paid him $100,000.

-So Fitch's sideline was blackmail.

Nice guy.

Well, your story's safe now.

Oh, how Webb would have enjoyed an earful of this.

-I can imagine.

There's a plane for Washington at 5 o'clock.

If we hurry, you can make it.

Be sure to give my love to Dad and Tom.

-I will.

Are you sure you'll be all right here?

-Of course. -Sure.

We can handle things on this end--

-Hello.

-Well.

If it isn't the shadow man.

-Sorry, but we're not having open house today.

-I didn't come to visit.

I just dropped by to pick up my microphone.

I don't think I'll have any further use for it here.

Well, you better step on it, Mrs. Lowe,

or you'll miss that plane.

You'll find a cab out front.

-You're not going to hold her?

-What for?

-But what about my sister and Mr. Strange?

-Oh, I'll take good care of them.

You just run along.

-Yes, go on, honey.

Don't worry about us.

-I won't. Goodbye.

-Bye.

-Thank you, Mr. Webb.

-Oh, not at all.

I'm sorry I can't turn you and Johnny loose.

But obstructing justice, that's something else again.

-As many times as I've used those tin years,

I never thought one of them would trip me up.

-Well, if it'll make you feel any better, Johnny,

I didn't need this to prove that your self-defense yarn was

phony.

-No?

-No.

Coroner's report proved that Fitch had been dead

more than seven hours before you showed up,

figuring from the time on your traffic ticket.

-Why didn't you arrest us then?

-Because I thought you knew more than you did.

Well, shall we get started?

-Well, wait a minute, Webb.

Give us a break.

Hold off the pinch until I can crack the case.

-Sorry, Johnny, no can do.

-But look at the spot we're in.

They'll throw the book at us if we don't come

through with something to our credit.

-Yeah, they might be a little rough with you.

Unless you want to use her sister as a witness.

-No.

No, I can't do that.

Got to keep her out of it.

Witness- witness.

Mr. Bailey?

This is Johnny Strange or Action Incorporated.

Listen, if I give you a scoop on the Fitch case,

will you give me Fitch's time on the air tomorrow?

What's the scoop?

Listen to this.

Johnny Strange admits obstructing

justice in Fitch killing.

Accuses secretary of murder.

-Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is your favorite newspaper, The Daily World,

bringing you a broadcast by remote control

directly from the home of the late Anthony Fitch.

Yes, in this very room, Anthony Fitch was shot to death.

And the purpose of this broadcast

is to show you how efficiently our police department operates.

Especially do we wish to commend Detective Lieutenant

Webb of the homicide detail, whose brilliant efforts have

played such an important part in solving

what appeared to be a perfect crime.

And now I'm going to turn the microphone over to Mr. Strange,

one of the principles in this strange case.

No pun intended.

-This is Johnny Strange of Action Incorporated.

During Lieutenant Webb's investigation, in which

I am proud to have played a small part,

the finger of suspicion pointed at four innocent people,

in addition to myself.

We are going to re-enact four scenes which will explain

why these people were suspected.

Then give you the surprise developments

which brought about my secretary's arrest.

The voices you will hear are those of the characters

themselves in this real life story.

-Scene number one is the Fitch study.

It is night.

Anthony Fitch is still lying on the floor where he fell.

Lieutenant Webb, who has picked up a murder weapon,

is talking with Johnny Strange and his secretary.

Suddenly--

-Ah!

Take your hands off me.

Let me go.

-I caught her sneaking in the back way, Lieutenant Webb.

-Who are you?

-I'm Mrs. Wilson, the housekeeper.

And I wasn't sneaking.

It's my day off, and I was just coming in quietly

so I wouldn't disturb Mr. Fitch.

What are you policemen doing here?

-Mr. Fitch has been killed.

-Killed? Who shot him?

-How do you know he was shot?

-Why, I-- I don't know.

It's just the first thing that came to my mind.

That's all.

-Scene two is the office of Action Incorporated, next day.

Ms. Smith is alone.

Boggs, the Fitch gardener, enters.

-Morning, miss.

-Hello, Mr. Boggs.

What can I do for you?

-I've got something in this bundle

I calculate will be of interest to you.

Oh-- there-- there you are.

A coat, hat, wig, veil, and a pair of gloves.

-I'm afraid you're mistaken.

These things aren't mine.

-Quit your fooling, miss.

I seen you put them in the inc--

-Incinerator.

-Oh, the incinerator.

Just before the police come.

-Scene three is the dressing room of Rhoda Roberts,

featured singer of the Penguin Club.

Johnny Strange is talking to her.

-Rhoda, just how well did you know Fitch?

-Not as well as you think.

I sold him a few juicy items for his column,

but it was strictly business.

-I picked a broken record out of his wastebasket.

It was one of yours.

A torch song with the inscription,

darling, I mean every word on this record-- Dodo.

Does that sound like strictly business?

-Now, listen, mister.

I don't know what you're looking for,

but you won't find it around here.

-Scene four is the backseat of a sedan.

Johnny is talking to Duke York, manager of the Penguin Club.

-What do you know about Fitch's death, Duke?

-I know that you didn't shoot him, chum.

-How?

-Well, I was a little annoyed with the guy,

so I went out to his place to tell him about it.

When I got there he'd just been rubbed out.

That was before you came along.

-Are you sure he was dead before you got there, Duke?

-Listen, junior, I never plugged him.

And I've got a witness to prove it.

Though I don't want to use this witness, if I can help it.

-Well, Ken, what was your reaction

to what you just heard?

-Well, it sounds mighty incriminating, Johnny.

In the face of that evidence, how did you and the police

know that Ms. Smith, your secretary, was the murderer?

-Well, Ken, get set for that big surprise I promised you.

We didn't.

-You didn't?

But I thought you told--

-That was only so Lieutenant Webb

and I could arrange this gathering.

You see, one of the suspects here tonight

would be reluctant to cooperate with us

if he or she didn't believe that Ms. Smith would be convicted.

-I didn't kill Mr. Fitch, I swear I didn't.

-Then suppose you tell me what you were really

doing in this study the night I caught you behind that drape?

-Mr. Fitch kept a lot of money hidden in here.

I was trying to find it. -Money, huh?

But you didn't get it, did you?

-No. -Because Boggs beat you to it.

Isn't that right?

-Yes.

Yes, I got it.

But-- but I didn't shoot him.

Honest.

I just took the money after he was dead,

because I didn't want to see it go to waste.

-Well, that was very thoughtful of you.

-Let's get out of here, Rhoda. He's just stabbing in the dark.

-Stick around, Duke.

We haven't finished.

-You can't hang this on me, Webb.

-I wouldn't be too sure about that, Duke.

Unless you're willing to name the witness you told me about.

Still don't want to do it, eh?

Well, I think I can tell you why.

Because your witness is also the murderer.

And to clear yourself would mean convicting the witness.

You see, folks, in Fitch's business,

he sometimes learned little secrets that paid off.

So he cashed in on the opportunity

by starting a sideline.

Blackmail.

Now, he had a partner in his racket

who collected necessary little items.

And for a while everything was fine.

But then Fitch got greedy and decided

to chisel in on his partner's money and pay off with love.

-That's enough of the gab.

-I hoped you'd do that, Rhoda.

In fact, I was counting on it.

The old clincher, so to speak.

-Maybe you were counting on this, smart guy.

-Sure I counted on it.

That's why I had the officer load the gun with blanks.

-Come on, Duke. You're going bye-bye.

-Johnny, if you knew she was the murderer all the time,

why did you go through all this rigmarole?

-Advertising, beautiful.

For Action Incorporated.

-Advertising?

-Yep.

A million worth of publicity for nothing.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, that concludes this broadcast,

brought to you--

-This is Johnny Strange again.

And don't forget, folks.

If you have a problem, bring it to Action Incorporated.

Where others fail, I get action.

-Correction, please.

Until further notice, Action Incorporated

is suspending action.

Until a judge has time to take action

on a little action of obstructing justice.

This is Lieutenant Webb, now signing off.