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1
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:51,949
In New Yotk City,
thete's a fine line between law and chaos.
2
00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:54,815
On that line live Danson and Highsmith.
3
00:00:58,057 --> 00:01:00,548
Tell me again
why I decided to get on this roof!
4
00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:04,930
I think you can chalk that up
to bad life choices.
5
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,240
Get rid of that asshole.
6
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:24,283
-Uh-oh!
-I hate it when you say "uh-oh!"
7
00:01:34,827 --> 00:01:36,761
Dude, you put a ding in my hood!
8
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:41,858
Come on with it, then!
9
00:01:47,473 --> 00:01:49,270
Whoa, hey!
10
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:57,480
That's trouble.
11
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:15,623
Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit?
12
00:02:25,978 --> 00:02:27,878
That's it. I'm sick of all this running.
13
00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:36,880
Hang on!
14
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:53,272
You have the right to remain silent!
15
00:02:53,806 --> 00:02:56,400
But I wanna hear you scream!
16
00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:12,983
Down on the ground!
17
00:03:13,292 --> 00:03:15,487
Detective! Yeah, yeah! Detective!
18
00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:18,221
One at a time, all right?
19
00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:22,591
Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson,
New Yotk Obsetvet Online.
20
00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:25,636
These suspects were caught
with only a quarter pound of marijuana,
21
00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:27,137
a misdemeanor in some states.
22
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,471
Do you think this arrest was worth
$12 million in property damages?
23
00:03:30,676 --> 00:03:33,907
Why don't we let New York City
answer that question?
24
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,471
The greatest city on Earth, yeah!
25
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:43,019
Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition.
26
00:03:43,122 --> 00:03:46,683
Danson, are the rumors about
you and Kim Kardashian true?
27
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,351
No comment.
28
00:03:48,828 --> 00:03:50,193
But, yes.
29
00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:55,256
Danson and Highsmith,
free hot dogs for life!
30
00:03:58,704 --> 00:04:02,868
No drinks. No drinks.
I can't do it. I can't do it.
31
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:08,670
Danson and Highsmith shoot, dtive,
and sex with style. They'te tock stats.
32
00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:11,773
Then you got yout jokets,
yout ball bustets, yout vets...
33
00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:14,785
...and the othet guys.
34
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:20,716
We know, we know. We know.
35
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,988
All right, all right, all right.
Listen up, listen up!
36
00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:26,623
We're having a celebration tonight at Butter.
37
00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:29,293
Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling.
38
00:04:29,368 --> 00:04:32,166
-That little short bitch from Jetsey Shote.
-Yeah!
39
00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:35,332
And most of you are on the list.
40
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:37,342
You're the best.
41
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,378
Guys, I'm gonna say something right now.
42
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,845
It's about a man who came from Austria
with a dream.
43
00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:44,747
-Arnold Schwarzenegger!
-Let me finish.
44
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,217
He became a champion
and then a movie star, all right?
45
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,481
-Arnold Schwarzenegger!
-God damn it, let me...
46
00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:51,489
They ruined the story.
They ruined the story.
47
00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:53,184
Let... What... The point is,
48
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:56,353
we couldn't do our job if it weren't
for you guys doing all the paperwork,
49
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:58,727
answering the phones, and all that
stupid shit that we don't like to do.
50
00:04:58,831 --> 00:05:00,822
All the gun fights, all the car chases,
51
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:04,768
all the sex we don't wanna have with women,
but we have to,
52
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:08,534
all due to what you guys do. Thank you.
53
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:09,870
And we'd do it again and again.
54
00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:12,240
Hey, you shut your face!
55
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:13,539
If we wanna hear you talk,
56
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:16,514
I will shove my arm up your ass
and work your mouth like a puppet!
57
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,274
You hear me? You hear me?
58
00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:20,751
-Cash bar.
-Yeah.
59
00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:22,684
Peace out, bitches.
60
00:05:24,056 --> 00:05:27,025
Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in.
61
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:28,583
Come on. Bring it in a little bit.
62
00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:30,852
All right, right there.
63
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,898
Just back up, just like right there.
64
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,592
All right, just one... Just a...
65
00:05:35,701 --> 00:05:37,430
There you go, right there. Right there.
66
00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:40,096
This is their paperwork.
You know they're not gonna do it.
67
00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:43,403
That's right.
This paperwork is like Bob's wife here.
68
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:47,139
It's thick, ugly,
got Danson's fingerprints all over it.
69
00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:48,645
-No offense, Bob.
-That's all right.
70
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,875
-Anyway, now who wants it?
-I do!
71
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,612
All right!
Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case!
72
00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:55,786
-Nice work. Thanks, Allen.
-Thank you, Captain.
73
00:05:55,888 --> 00:05:57,150
"I'll do it! I'll do it!"
74
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,326
Stop humming that song!
75
00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:13,161
-I can hum if I want to.
-No, I know you can.
76
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:14,500
I'm asking you to stop.
77
00:06:14,807 --> 00:06:16,832
-Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop.
-Thank you.
78
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:23,940
Could you not smile like that?
79
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:27,850
Now you're asking me to mask my emotions
because of how it makes you feel.
80
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,751
That I will not do.
81
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:36,426
Seriously, stop humming! Okay?
82
00:06:36,495 --> 00:06:38,520
This isn't accounting or wherever the hell
83
00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:41,964
you and your little pocket calculator
were transferred from.
84
00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:45,003
Forensic accounting, okay.
And it's an important part of the job.
85
00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:49,165
Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly happy
about doing shit work, you moron.
86
00:06:49,275 --> 00:06:51,140
Hey, guys. Reminder.
87
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:54,441
The police union picnic's
coming up this weekend.
88
00:06:54,513 --> 00:06:59,143
My wife's making her famous
deviled eggs, again. My waistline's furious.
89
00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:00,617
It's a bad time, Bob!
90
00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:03,715
All right.
91
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,382
Going to get a slice.
92
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:18,833
You know what I just did?
93
00:07:18,904 --> 00:07:21,202
I just walked out that door,
saw a couple detectives,
94
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:23,798
and I was about to start bad mouthing you
behind your back,
95
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:26,071
but I stopped myself,
because my pops taught me
96
00:07:26,178 --> 00:07:28,806
that a man who talks
behind somebody's back is a coward.
97
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:30,075
Wow, I actually appreciate that.
98
00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:31,979
Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you
directly to your face.
99
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:34,815
-No. You don't have to.
-No, I don't like you.
100
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:36,320
I think you're a fake cop.
101
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:40,155
The sound of your piss hitting the urinal?
It sounds feminine.
102
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,990
If we were in the wild, I would attack you.
103
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:47,761
Even if you weren't in my food chain,
I would go out of my way to attack you.
104
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,425
If I were a lion, and you were a tuna,
105
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:52,129
I would swim out in the middle of the ocean
and freaking eat you!
106
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:55,597
And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
107
00:07:55,708 --> 00:08:00,042
Okay, first off,
a lion swimming in the ocean?
108
00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:01,306
Lions don't like water.
109
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:05,444
If you'd placed it near a river or some sort
of fresh water source, that'd make sense.
110
00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:08,083
But you find yourself in the ocean,
20-foot waves,
111
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,917
I'm assuming
it's off the coast of South Africa,
112
00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:15,556
coming up against a full-grown,
800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends?
113
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:16,788
You lose that battle.
114
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:19,797
You lose that battle nine times out of ten.
And guess what?
115
00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:24,165
You've wandered into our school of tuna,
and we now have a taste of lion.
116
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,670
We've talked to ourselves.
We've communicated.
117
00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:27,932
-Yeah?
-And said, "You know what?
118
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,170
"Lion tastes good.
Let's go get some more lion."
119
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:33,837
We've developed a system
to establish a beachhead
120
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:36,847
and aggressively hunt you and your family.
121
00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:39,110
And we will corner your pride,
122
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,085
-your children, your offspring.
-How you gonna do that?
123
00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:44,748
We will construct a series
of breathing apparatus with kelp.
124
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:47,315
We will be able to trap
certain amounts of oxygen.
125
00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:51,863
It's not gonna be days at a time,
but an hour, hour 45, no problem.
126
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:54,626
That will give us enough time
to figure out where you live,
127
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,794
go back to the sea, get more oxygen,
and then stalk you.
128
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:01,362
You just lost at your own game.
You're outgunned and outmanned.
129
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:07,438
Did that go
the way you thought it was gonna go?
130
00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:08,639
Nope.
131
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,814
Two minutes before the markets open,
132
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,155
Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global,
ringing the opening bell.
133
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,828
With Boatdman is investment banket,
David Etshon,
134
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:27,354
who manages 40%
of Lendl's $70-billion equity pool.
135
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:30,299
How much did we lose?
136
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,667
You may ring the bell now, Ms. Boardman.
137
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,831
-$32.
-Million?
138
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,137
No, billion.
139
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,678
Shit!
140
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:45,850
Chinatown. Three Triad gang members.
I popped two of them off the draw.
141
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:47,713
-Bang, bang.
-Yeah.
142
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,412
Then I raise up to take the leader out.
143
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,012
Shit, I feel like I'm there now.
144
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,285
I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof.
145
00:09:53,857 --> 00:09:55,688
He says, "Let's even the odds!"
146
00:09:55,993 --> 00:10:00,191
He tosses me down a Mossberg pump.
I send one through his chest.
147
00:10:01,231 --> 00:10:02,755
Game over, bitches.
148
00:10:04,835 --> 00:10:06,530
-All right.
-Yeah.
149
00:10:07,504 --> 00:10:12,134
Jimmy? Let's talk about
how that story made you feel.
150
00:10:12,709 --> 00:10:14,199
Like my cock was made out of concrete.
151
00:10:15,546 --> 00:10:17,446
I know it's very tempting.
152
00:10:17,948 --> 00:10:19,609
You want to impress your friends.
153
00:10:19,783 --> 00:10:22,274
But this is serious stuff
we're dealing with, okay?
154
00:10:22,386 --> 00:10:25,787
This is firing your weapon
in the line of duty.
155
00:10:25,889 --> 00:10:26,947
Officer Hoitz?
156
00:10:27,591 --> 00:10:28,922
Oh, man.
157
00:10:28,992 --> 00:10:30,152
-Come on!
-Here we go.
158
00:10:30,227 --> 00:10:31,626
Would you like to share?
159
00:10:31,728 --> 00:10:32,854
No, I'd rather not.
160
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:35,597
Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here
for six months now,
161
00:10:35,699 --> 00:10:37,462
and you haven't said a word.
162
00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:39,900
This is a safe room, no judgment here.
163
00:10:39,970 --> 00:10:41,062
Jerkoff.
164
00:10:41,138 --> 00:10:43,436
That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on.
165
00:10:43,907 --> 00:10:45,033
I relive it every night.
166
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:48,310
Btonx, Octobet.
167
00:10:48,412 --> 00:10:50,209
Game 7 of the Wotld Seties.
168
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,545
For all the marbles. High pressure,
unruly crowd, and I pulled tunnel duty.
169
00:10:53,617 --> 00:10:56,450
I mean, I saw a shadowy figure in the tunnel.
I told him to stop.
170
00:10:56,553 --> 00:10:58,453
Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a restricted area!
171
00:10:58,555 --> 00:10:59,886
Finally pulled my gun.
172
00:10:59,957 --> 00:11:01,254
Pulled a deadly weapon.
He started running at me.
173
00:11:01,325 --> 00:11:03,225
Don't make me shoot! I'll do it!
174
00:11:04,461 --> 00:11:06,326
Are you deaf? You hear me yell, "Freeze"?
175
00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:09,558
You dick! I'm Derek Jeter! You shot me!
176
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:12,397
-You cost me 20 grand on that game!
-Douche bag.
177
00:11:12,469 --> 00:11:13,936
Cost the city a championship.
178
00:11:14,004 --> 00:11:16,336
I was being groomed
for a top position in homicide.
179
00:11:16,573 --> 00:11:19,303
Now I'm stuck with a desk jockey partner.
Everybody calls me the Yankee Clipper.
180
00:11:19,409 --> 00:11:21,070
Because you shot Derek Jeter!
181
00:11:21,144 --> 00:11:22,441
He's a biracial angel.
182
00:11:22,512 --> 00:11:24,173
You should've shot A-Rod.
183
00:11:31,788 --> 00:11:33,153
Yo, Paper Bitch.
184
00:11:33,523 --> 00:11:35,184
-What's up, man?
-Hey. Hey, guys.
185
00:11:35,292 --> 00:11:36,987
-Paper Bitch.
-Paper Bitch.
186
00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:38,152
I don't like that, actually.
187
00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:40,025
I know you guys think it's fun,
but I don't like that name.
188
00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:41,688
Still working on
the Danson and Highsmith paperwork?
189
00:11:41,798 --> 00:11:43,857
-Shit.
-No, actually, actually, that's...
190
00:11:43,967 --> 00:11:45,332
What is this? That looks stupid.
191
00:11:45,435 --> 00:11:49,030
Guys, it's illegal permitting for construction.
Specifically, scaffolding.
192
00:11:49,139 --> 00:11:50,663
Some of the guys were talking.
193
00:11:50,974 --> 00:11:53,534
They were like, "How come you've never
fired your weapon in the office before?"
194
00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:54,338
Good point.
195
00:11:55,078 --> 00:11:56,409
I'm sorry, I don't follow.
196
00:11:56,513 --> 00:11:57,946
You've never fired your weapon
in the office.
197
00:11:58,048 --> 00:12:00,175
We all have, you know.
It's called a desk pop.
198
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:02,946
Fellas, look, I know
you don't respect me as a police officer.
199
00:12:03,053 --> 00:12:04,179
-Not true.
-I'm not stupid.
200
00:12:04,254 --> 00:12:06,722
I'm not gonna discharge my firearm
in the office.
201
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:08,382
Gamble, listen to me.
I'll try to make it real clear.
202
00:12:08,458 --> 00:12:12,622
We honor the flag, and you crap on it
when you don't shoot your gun in the office.
203
00:12:12,729 --> 00:12:14,788
Jimmy.
When's the last time you had a desk pop?
204
00:12:14,898 --> 00:12:16,525
September '08.
205
00:12:17,232 --> 00:12:18,961
-Be a man. Do it.
-Now.
206
00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:20,728
-Please, please, do it.
-Pop one off!
207
00:12:20,802 --> 00:12:22,895
-There you go. Pop it off!
-Don't think, just go!
208
00:12:22,971 --> 00:12:24,529
-Here we go.
-Do it, yes.
209
00:12:26,107 --> 00:12:27,199
He did it!
210
00:12:27,308 --> 00:12:29,139
Hey! Shots fired!
211
00:12:29,244 --> 00:12:32,372
Hey, Terry, I did it! I did my first desk pop!
212
00:12:32,881 --> 00:12:34,439
It's a real thing, right?
213
00:12:34,549 --> 00:12:36,039
-A desk pop?
-Yeah.
214
00:12:36,117 --> 00:12:37,243
No, that's not real!
215
00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:41,277
They were so convincing in their argument,
they swung me.
216
00:12:44,292 --> 00:12:46,123
All right, Allen,
you're gonna have to hand over your gun.
217
00:12:46,227 --> 00:12:47,319
Yes, sir.
218
00:12:47,429 --> 00:12:51,422
Captain, you really wanna disarm this guy,
take out the batteries in the calculator.
219
00:12:51,499 --> 00:12:54,900
All right, I'm gonna give you this.
This is a dummy gun. I use it for ceremony.
220
00:12:54,969 --> 00:12:56,129
There.
221
00:12:57,472 --> 00:13:01,067
You get this back
when I feel you know how to handle it.
222
00:13:01,676 --> 00:13:05,339
Listen, guys.
I'm working two jobs. I'm working here.
223
00:13:05,447 --> 00:13:08,610
And I got another job
at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay?
224
00:13:08,683 --> 00:13:11,311
I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU
225
00:13:11,386 --> 00:13:15,152
so he can explore his bisexuality
and become a deejay.
226
00:13:15,223 --> 00:13:18,681
Now the last thing I need
is a ballistics report in the unit.
227
00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:21,159
I'm just gonna ask you guys,
please, come on, really.
228
00:13:21,229 --> 00:13:22,992
Just think about... Just be smart.
229
00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:53,994
211 in ptogtess.
230
00:13:54,062 --> 00:13:57,156
They'te using a wtecking ball
to clean out Castien Jewelty.
231
00:13:57,232 --> 00:13:58,665
All right, we got it.
232
00:13:58,733 --> 00:14:01,065
-Good luck, guys. Have a good one.
-Allen, let's go.
233
00:14:01,169 --> 00:14:04,036
-No, I got work to do.
-What? This is work!
234
00:14:04,105 --> 00:14:07,700
Hey, yo! Danson and Highsmith.
We roll in heavy.
235
00:14:07,775 --> 00:14:09,106
You cream puffs, sit tight.
236
00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:10,541
You gotta be shitting me!
237
00:14:11,045 --> 00:14:13,707
You can't keep me cooped up in here, okay?
238
00:14:13,781 --> 00:14:16,875
I am a peacock! You gotta let me fly!
239
00:14:23,057 --> 00:14:25,252
Did he just...
Did he just call himself a peacock?
240
00:14:28,796 --> 00:14:30,024
Let's go! Let's go!
241
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:34,125
Come on, fellas!
242
00:14:34,369 --> 00:14:36,769
Wednesday night is taco night
at Rikers lsland!
243
00:14:50,618 --> 00:14:52,245
That's the second one this week!
244
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,613
Hey, you monkeys! Stop!
245
00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:57,417
Let's go!
246
00:14:58,259 --> 00:14:59,317
Yeah!
247
00:14:59,894 --> 00:15:01,088
Heads up!
248
00:15:01,429 --> 00:15:02,555
Shit.
249
00:15:16,644 --> 00:15:17,736
Special Forces zipline.
250
00:15:18,346 --> 00:15:20,109
Cut that line! Cut it! Let's go!
251
00:15:21,349 --> 00:15:23,613
-These guys are pros.
-Let's go!
252
00:15:23,685 --> 00:15:25,084
You thinking what I'm thinking, partner?
253
00:15:25,687 --> 00:15:26,779
Aim for the bushes.
254
00:15:54,382 --> 00:15:58,045
Cops still atgue to this day
why Danson and Highsmith jumped.
255
00:15:58,152 --> 00:16:02,111
Maybe it was just ptide, having sutvived
so many btushes with death.
256
00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:04,351
Maybe theit egos pushed them off.
257
00:16:04,459 --> 00:16:07,155
I don't know. But that shit was ctazy.
258
00:16:07,228 --> 00:16:11,961
Eithet way, thete was a hole
in New Yotk City, and it needed to be filled.
259
00:16:12,033 --> 00:16:14,331
Two days ago, this city wept.
260
00:16:14,402 --> 00:16:18,361
We lost two hetoes
who gave evetything fot us,
261
00:16:18,473 --> 00:16:23,376
who paid that ultimate sactifice
so that we may walk these stteets safely.
262
00:16:24,312 --> 00:16:25,870
There wasn't even an awning
in their direction.
263
00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:28,141
-No, I know.
-They just jumped 20 stories.
264
00:16:28,216 --> 00:16:29,547
Doesn't make sense, does it?
265
00:16:29,651 --> 00:16:33,519
I only hope God lets them take theit.357s
with them to heaven.
266
00:16:33,588 --> 00:16:36,921
It's our moment, Allen.
Our moment to step up and be the guys.
267
00:16:37,425 --> 00:16:40,087
-We're at a funeral. Show some respect.
-What?
268
00:16:40,395 --> 00:16:43,421
You don't think every other detective here
isn't thinking the same thing?
269
00:16:46,234 --> 00:16:48,327
Allen, listen to me.
Danson and Highsmith are gone.
270
00:16:48,403 --> 00:16:51,395
Their desks are empty.
Someone has to fill those seats.
271
00:16:51,506 --> 00:16:55,033
That someone is us, okay?
The city's dying for a hero.
272
00:16:55,376 --> 00:16:56,866
-ls it?
-Yeah.
273
00:16:56,944 --> 00:17:00,573
What about nine million
socially-conscious and unified citizens,
274
00:17:00,682 --> 00:17:02,411
all just stepping up and doing their part?
275
00:17:02,517 --> 00:17:04,747
As a little kid, didn't you dress up
and play cops and robbers?
276
00:17:04,852 --> 00:17:07,013
I'll tell you what I did as a little kid.
277
00:17:07,088 --> 00:17:09,420
I went to school and made my bed.
278
00:17:09,524 --> 00:17:12,118
And at age 11, I audited my parents.
279
00:17:12,226 --> 00:17:15,525
And believe me, there were some
discrepancies, and I was grounded.
280
00:17:15,596 --> 00:17:17,461
What the hell are you?
281
00:17:17,565 --> 00:17:20,534
Well, well, well. What do we got here?
282
00:17:20,601 --> 00:17:24,697
Look at these two jamokes, would you?
One shot Jeter and the other shot an office.
283
00:17:27,975 --> 00:17:30,705
Have some decorum. We're at a funeral.
284
00:17:30,778 --> 00:17:32,973
You wanna dance, brolio?
285
00:17:33,081 --> 00:17:37,313
I will rock your body with big, nasty hooks.
You'll be pissing blood out of your ass.
286
00:17:37,418 --> 00:17:38,476
That's horrible.
287
00:17:38,586 --> 00:17:39,746
Why don't you step back, man?
288
00:17:39,821 --> 00:17:41,288
You touch him, I swear to God
289
00:17:41,389 --> 00:17:43,220
I'm gonna beat the shit out of you
with Allen's head.
290
00:17:43,291 --> 00:17:45,816
He's not gonna do that. That's hyperbole.
But that's a weird example.
291
00:17:45,927 --> 00:17:47,724
-You wanna go?
-I wanna go!
292
00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:50,495
-Get him off.
-Kick his ass, Martin.
293
00:17:51,132 --> 00:17:52,326
Yeah. How do you like that?
294
00:17:53,735 --> 00:17:55,259
-Pull his hair!
-I love it.
295
00:17:55,470 --> 00:17:57,131
This hurts so good.
296
00:17:58,072 --> 00:18:00,233
-Very sorry for your loss, ma'am.
-What a lovely hat.
297
00:18:00,308 --> 00:18:01,866
I love your shoes.
298
00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:03,965
-It's fine, it's fine.
-Go, go.
299
00:18:04,610 --> 00:18:05,736
Punish him!
300
00:18:06,312 --> 00:18:07,836
Oh, man.
301
00:18:08,514 --> 00:18:10,482
Do it. That's how we do it in the hood.
302
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:11,777
-Punish him.
-That's not even a move.
303
00:18:13,018 --> 00:18:15,316
I'm the winner.
I'm the winner, everybody saw it.
304
00:18:15,421 --> 00:18:17,389
What the hell is going on here?
305
00:18:17,957 --> 00:18:19,515
Two good men are dead,
306
00:18:19,592 --> 00:18:22,686
and you guys are fighting over
who's gonna be the next hotshot?
307
00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:23,888
Is that what's happening?
308
00:18:23,996 --> 00:18:25,520
Yes, that's exactly what's happening.
309
00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:28,256
Let me tell you something.
310
00:18:28,934 --> 00:18:30,265
-Sorry for your loss, Lorraine.
-Very sorry.
311
00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:32,670
-Sorry, Lorraine.
-Sorry, Lorraine.
312
00:18:33,205 --> 00:18:34,502
Hi, I'm Jimmy.
313
00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:37,369
-Too soon?
-Why'd you say that?
314
00:18:37,943 --> 00:18:39,535
I'll tell you something about those guys.
315
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:44,208
They knew that to become a good cop,
you had to solve cases. Okay?
316
00:18:45,017 --> 00:18:48,282
Okay, and maybe you start
with the Castien robbery.
317
00:18:48,721 --> 00:18:50,951
Okay? So just watch it.
318
00:18:52,191 --> 00:18:54,125
Next time, me, you, library.
319
00:18:54,226 --> 00:18:56,353
-Not even close.
-Come on, guys. Guys, come on.
320
00:18:57,096 --> 00:18:59,030
-You are...
-I'm the winner!
321
00:18:59,098 --> 00:19:02,363
I didn't need you to stick up for me, okay?
I could've handled that myself.
322
00:19:02,435 --> 00:19:06,132
Hey, don't flatter yourself.
It's the partner's code. I had no choice.
323
00:19:06,238 --> 00:19:07,466
Move.
324
00:19:16,482 --> 00:19:19,645
-9:15, let's have a great day, everybody!
-Cut the shit!
325
00:19:26,657 --> 00:19:27,851
Good morning.
326
00:19:28,726 --> 00:19:32,025
We've got shots fited. 509 East 10th Stteet.
327
00:19:32,096 --> 00:19:34,030
Thete ate latge amounts of cocaine
on the scene.
328
00:19:34,098 --> 00:19:35,224
Tty to stay out of ttouble, boys.
329
00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:36,994
There's no chance
you'd wanna go on that call, right?
330
00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:38,899
No chance. Too busy.
331
00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:43,539
All right, ladies. Starting to get the picture?
We're about to lock shit down.
332
00:19:43,608 --> 00:19:45,599
-That's right.
-You girls stay here and get your type on.
333
00:19:45,710 --> 00:19:47,610
Go get them, guys.
Lot of energy, lot of focus.
334
00:19:47,745 --> 00:19:48,837
Shut up!
335
00:19:48,913 --> 00:19:51,177
Allen, could I see you in the hallway
for a second?
336
00:19:51,249 --> 00:19:52,716
I... I'm super busy right now, Terry.
337
00:19:52,783 --> 00:19:54,683
No, no, no, I know. This'll be real quick.
338
00:19:54,752 --> 00:19:56,617
It's about the construction permits
you were talking about.
339
00:19:56,721 --> 00:19:58,712
-The scaffolding violations?
-This is our thing, yeah.
340
00:20:00,358 --> 00:20:01,916
So, what do you got?
341
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:04,517
I got this! I'll put one right in your neck.
342
00:20:04,595 --> 00:20:05,687
What are you doing?
343
00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:08,459
Let's go. We're going to that call.
344
00:20:08,566 --> 00:20:10,124
-What is this?
-Shut up.
345
00:20:10,234 --> 00:20:12,566
We're going to the car,
and we're going after this case.
346
00:20:12,637 --> 00:20:14,070
-You're not gonna shoot me.
-I won't?
347
00:20:14,138 --> 00:20:15,605
-No.
-I shot Jeter.
348
00:20:15,706 --> 00:20:17,867
-That was an accident.
-Was it?
349
00:20:17,942 --> 00:20:19,466
-Now move.
-Okay.
350
00:20:20,211 --> 00:20:21,542
Hey.
351
00:20:21,612 --> 00:20:24,809
Does anybody see this?
He's got a gun on me.
352
00:20:24,915 --> 00:20:26,712
I'm being kidnapped.
353
00:20:26,784 --> 00:20:29,878
Really, we're in a police station
and no one is interested in this?
354
00:20:30,087 --> 00:20:32,487
-So, then what happened?
-What do you think happened?
355
00:20:32,590 --> 00:20:35,957
I woke up, I took the belt off my neck,
and I got in my car, and I got out of there.
356
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,584
Talk about a wild weekend, right?
357
00:20:37,662 --> 00:20:40,961
I thought I was gonna
have to shoot my way out.
358
00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:43,226
What are you gonna do, though, you know?
Bar mitzvahs.
359
00:20:45,603 --> 00:20:47,468
What the hell is this?
360
00:20:47,571 --> 00:20:50,267
It's my car. It's a Prius.
361
00:20:50,341 --> 00:20:54,004
I feel like we're literally driving around
in a vagina.
362
00:20:54,111 --> 00:20:56,944
Detective Hoitz and Gamble
are on that 518 on East 10th.
363
00:20:57,014 --> 00:20:59,107
Negatory, Martin and Fosse,
two minutes out.
364
00:20:59,183 --> 00:21:00,912
We'll just see who's there first.
365
00:21:00,985 --> 00:21:03,681
You stay out of our crime scene!
You hear me?
366
00:21:03,854 --> 00:21:05,412
Go, go, go!
367
00:21:05,823 --> 00:21:08,519
You feel that, Allen?
That tingling in your balls?
368
00:21:08,626 --> 00:21:10,491
Big metal butterflies fluttering around
in your stomach?
369
00:21:10,594 --> 00:21:12,186
Are you sure
you don't have testicular cancer?
370
00:21:12,296 --> 00:21:14,321
I got something to get you going.
371
00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:19,329
Let's go do some damage!
372
00:21:20,771 --> 00:21:21,999
Nope.
373
00:21:24,342 --> 00:21:25,502
What the hell is that?
374
00:21:25,843 --> 00:21:27,970
LRB. Little River Band.
375
00:21:28,312 --> 00:21:30,644
This music makes me feel like
I'm going shopping for a training bra.
376
00:21:30,981 --> 00:21:33,449
You know what?
We go with no music, okay?
377
00:21:33,517 --> 00:21:34,643
-Fine.
-Say bye.
378
00:21:34,719 --> 00:21:35,845
No, no, no, don't say bye...
379
00:21:35,953 --> 00:21:37,648
You just signed
your own death warrant, Hoitz!
380
00:21:37,722 --> 00:21:40,953
Allen, punch that accelerator
or I will shoot you in the foot!
381
00:21:41,025 --> 00:21:42,458
America!
382
00:21:42,793 --> 00:21:45,057
Allen! Allen, hit the brake!
383
00:21:46,063 --> 00:21:48,827
Seriously, slow the car down!
We're approaching the crime scene!
384
00:21:48,899 --> 00:21:49,991
Terry, I'm coming in.
385
00:21:50,067 --> 00:21:51,898
You're gonna smash
right through the tape! Allen!
386
00:21:52,236 --> 00:21:53,669
Dude! What...
387
00:21:58,876 --> 00:22:01,003
That's a lot of cocaine.
388
00:22:01,979 --> 00:22:04,971
Did you yell "America"
when you hit the accelerator?
389
00:22:05,049 --> 00:22:06,846
Nope. No. No.
390
00:22:07,551 --> 00:22:09,883
I've never actually put my foot
all the way down
391
00:22:10,688 --> 00:22:13,885
to the ground with the accelerator like that.
392
00:22:15,059 --> 00:22:17,357
It got me slightly aroused.
393
00:22:19,897 --> 00:22:21,489
Here we go.
394
00:22:23,567 --> 00:22:27,025
Way to put your stamp
on the crime scene, guys.
395
00:22:27,104 --> 00:22:29,538
-Prius, huh?
-Yep, yep.
396
00:22:29,607 --> 00:22:30,869
Good mileage?
397
00:22:30,941 --> 00:22:32,340
-Outstanding.
-Yeah.
398
00:22:32,410 --> 00:22:35,004
Did this come with a dental dam?
399
00:22:35,713 --> 00:22:37,613
-No.
-Get it?
400
00:22:39,116 --> 00:22:41,084
My Suburban shit one of these last night.
401
00:22:41,185 --> 00:22:42,777
I didn't know they put tampons on wheels.
402
00:22:44,388 --> 00:22:45,548
We've had our fun, huh?
403
00:22:45,623 --> 00:22:48,592
Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car.
404
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:50,452
All right, everybody!
405
00:22:50,561 --> 00:22:53,587
I'm gonna need you all to back up now.
We're taking over.
406
00:22:53,697 --> 00:22:56,097
"At the crime scene, LOL."
407
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,895
-Good tweet, good tweet.
-Yeah, thanks.
408
00:22:58,269 --> 00:23:02,035
Ametica has always been defined
by its excess.
409
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,708
The Gtand Canyon,
ptofessional spotts conttacts.
410
00:23:05,776 --> 00:23:08,210
Wendy's Baconatot, extta bacon.
411
00:23:08,279 --> 00:23:12,147
I myself have 18 Lambotghinis
412
00:23:13,317 --> 00:23:15,251
and a Subatu station wagon.
413
00:23:15,586 --> 00:23:18,453
And it's because of this excess
that I have floutished.
414
00:23:18,556 --> 00:23:22,151
I implote you, please, do not stop ptofiting.
415
00:23:22,259 --> 00:23:25,956
Live fot excess. It's the Ametican way.
416
00:23:32,503 --> 00:23:33,800
Hello.
417
00:23:34,505 --> 00:23:37,668
Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you.
418
00:23:41,111 --> 00:23:42,237
Sir David.
419
00:23:42,313 --> 00:23:45,942
David. You're not returning my calls,
so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley.
420
00:23:46,016 --> 00:23:47,643
-G'day, mate.
-Hey.
421
00:23:48,085 --> 00:23:50,349
Roger and his team are gonna babysit you
because I don't trust you,
422
00:23:50,454 --> 00:23:51,716
because I think you're going to take off.
423
00:23:52,490 --> 00:23:55,288
Pamela, this is ridiculous.
I'm not going anywhere.
424
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,793
David, listen,
the Lendl quarterlies come out on the 26th.
425
00:23:57,862 --> 00:24:00,695
You have until then to give me my money.
I'm not reporting any losses, David.
426
00:24:00,798 --> 00:24:02,629
I have zeroed in on a new investor.
427
00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:05,726
Well, then, you get theit money,
make it disappeat, and then pay us back.
428
00:24:05,836 --> 00:24:09,135
Yes, yes, I'll tell him
he doesn't need to keep watching me.
429
00:24:09,206 --> 00:24:11,697
-David!
-Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye.
430
00:24:11,809 --> 00:24:16,178
Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman.
So, you're good to go.
431
00:24:16,647 --> 00:24:17,705
Heard everything, mate.
432
00:24:17,982 --> 00:24:19,074
Ladies and gentlemen,
433
00:24:19,183 --> 00:24:23,677
guess who gave me the secrets
to making my first billion dollars.
434
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:27,056
That man there.
435
00:24:27,858 --> 00:24:29,849
Go! Go!
436
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:31,991
-Side!
-Step aside, please.
437
00:24:32,763 --> 00:24:34,526
You don't think I'm a real cop, do you?
438
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,862
No, I don't. I've said that
directly to your face numerous times.
439
00:24:36,934 --> 00:24:38,060
I was really honest about that.
440
00:24:38,168 --> 00:24:40,659
I'm working on a huge case, all right?
441
00:24:40,738 --> 00:24:42,865
Property owner with seven buildings
under construction.
442
00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:46,068
He hasn't applied
for a single scaffolding permit.
443
00:24:46,176 --> 00:24:50,112
Now, according to Ask Jeeves, this perp
is at the Plaza Hotel speaking right now.
444
00:24:50,214 --> 00:24:53,911
-That's your big case? Scaffolding permits?
-Yeah.
445
00:24:54,552 --> 00:24:57,248
Guess what? You're coming with me.
446
00:24:58,022 --> 00:24:59,922
It's a wooden gun.
447
00:25:02,393 --> 00:25:04,258
That hurts, man!
448
00:25:06,530 --> 00:25:10,398
I've always got Little River Band
loaded up here. I've got six disks in here.
449
00:25:11,235 --> 00:25:14,398
Claude, meet me outside,
at the back of the service entrance.
450
00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:16,939
I'm flying Air Singapore.
451
00:25:17,041 --> 00:25:18,736
-Hey, Douglas. How's the wife?
-She died.
452
00:25:18,809 --> 00:25:19,901
Attaboy!
453
00:25:19,977 --> 00:25:21,945
I'll be there in two minutes exactly.
454
00:25:22,112 --> 00:25:25,707
Another thing I hate about you?
You always pay in exact change.
455
00:25:25,783 --> 00:25:28,081
You're just mad
because I have a nice change purse.
456
00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:29,278
Why do you even care?
457
00:25:29,386 --> 00:25:32,321
How can I help it? You know what?
You know what's worse?
458
00:25:32,423 --> 00:25:34,448
The way you fart.
Even your farts, they're not manly.
459
00:25:34,558 --> 00:25:35,650
You're being ridiculous.
460
00:25:35,759 --> 00:25:38,319
They sound like a baby blowing out
the candles on a birthday cake.
461
00:25:38,429 --> 00:25:39,726
-What?
-Like a little...
462
00:25:39,797 --> 00:25:41,662
-You know what bugs me about you?
-What?
463
00:25:41,765 --> 00:25:43,096
I'm pretty sure you've never voted.
464
00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:46,500
No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880.
Play of the week.
465
00:25:46,604 --> 00:25:48,936
You're like a child in a leather jacket.
That's what you're like.
466
00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:50,098
Get out of the way, man!
467
00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:52,074
Wait. Are you David Ershon?
468
00:25:52,643 --> 00:25:55,441
Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon,
but I don't bother with the...
469
00:25:55,512 --> 00:25:58,777
Anyway, little bit of a rush, gentlemen,
if you don't mind. Thank you.
470
00:25:58,849 --> 00:26:02,114
-Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay?
-What?
471
00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:07,123
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you do or say can be used...
472
00:26:07,191 --> 00:26:09,318
-What's the next part?
-As a floatation device.
473
00:26:09,426 --> 00:26:10,916
As a floatation device.
474
00:26:10,995 --> 00:26:14,522
You know what? That's very funny.
I have never Miranda-ed anyone before.
475
00:26:14,632 --> 00:26:16,429
-Really?
-Are you guys for real?
476
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:17,592
Am I being punk'd?
477
00:26:18,736 --> 00:26:20,033
Detective Allen Gamble.
478
00:26:20,104 --> 00:26:23,039
We are in a cocaine-covered car,
and we are bringing in a perp.
479
00:26:23,140 --> 00:26:25,938
-One David Ershon.
-175 pounds.
480
00:26:26,010 --> 00:26:28,035
-Thank you. 175 pounds.
-Shut up, man, shut up!
481
00:26:28,278 --> 00:26:32,044
Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B
talking to Shepard Smith right now.
482
00:26:32,149 --> 00:26:34,982
We arrest this jerkoff
for a scaffolding permit?
483
00:26:35,052 --> 00:26:37,282
Wait, wait, wait,
what am I being arrested for?
484
00:26:37,354 --> 00:26:39,219
For scaffolding permit violation...
485
00:26:48,232 --> 00:26:50,132
-I got my insurance card. Somewhere.
-Easy, mate.
486
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,566
-What the hell? You ran right into us!
-Stand over there.
487
00:26:53,137 --> 00:26:54,195
Wood?
488
00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:55,864
What the...
489
00:26:55,973 --> 00:26:57,736
-Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate.
-What?
490
00:26:57,841 --> 00:26:59,468
Do not let these men take me.
491
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:02,337
Hi.
492
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:04,970
Why's she looking at you like that?
493
00:27:05,049 --> 00:27:06,539
That's my car!
494
00:27:06,650 --> 00:27:10,381
Hey, hey, hey!
We didn't exchange insurance information!
495
00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:12,312
Hey! Excuse me!
496
00:27:13,190 --> 00:27:15,590
Why did they take our shoes?
497
00:27:15,693 --> 00:27:19,094
-What the hell just happened?
-Where's my iPhone?
498
00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:22,391
I think we've walked 30 blocks, man.
499
00:27:22,499 --> 00:27:27,527
I don't get why we can't just call the office
and have a squad car come pick us up.
500
00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:30,095
No. They took our shoes,
our guns, and our car.
501
00:27:30,207 --> 00:27:31,834
There's no way that's going out on the radio.
502
00:27:32,209 --> 00:27:35,337
Look, if we're gonna do this together,
there's some issues we need to settle, okay?
503
00:27:35,412 --> 00:27:39,007
I mean, you said I had a weak chin.
You said the way I pee is feminine.
504
00:27:39,083 --> 00:27:40,277
How do you think that makes me feel?
505
00:27:40,384 --> 00:27:45,447
I mean, that list you have,
you put a lot of thought in. It's weird.
506
00:27:45,556 --> 00:27:47,786
I hear you.
507
00:27:47,891 --> 00:27:52,624
Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start.
508
00:27:52,730 --> 00:27:55,358
All right. Fresh start.
509
00:27:57,067 --> 00:28:00,628
Maybe we should call ourselves
the Febreze Brothers,
510
00:28:00,738 --> 00:28:02,296
'cause it's feeling so fresh right now.
511
00:28:03,874 --> 00:28:04,932
Right?
512
00:28:05,242 --> 00:28:08,109
Let's do another fresh start, 'cause
I just wanted to punch you in the face.
513
00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:10,974
Fine, fresh start.
514
00:28:11,081 --> 00:28:12,878
It's the last one.
515
00:28:12,950 --> 00:28:14,884
I have to be able to express myself
and say things, you know.
516
00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:20,585
-Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up!
-Listen up!
517
00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:22,591
Got a high profile kidnapping.
518
00:28:22,793 --> 00:28:26,126
David Ershon, wealthy banker,
multinational team.
519
00:28:26,230 --> 00:28:28,255
Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell.
520
00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:32,769
Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes?
'Cause your feet are black.
521
00:28:32,836 --> 00:28:34,827
Who cares? It's not important, okay?
522
00:28:34,938 --> 00:28:37,463
Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good.
523
00:28:39,409 --> 00:28:41,070
-Bye, guys.
-Bye-bye.
524
00:28:41,145 --> 00:28:42,237
Come on.
525
00:28:42,679 --> 00:28:45,842
Guys, this is Don Beaman,
the attorney for Mr. Ershon.
526
00:28:45,949 --> 00:28:48,076
Roger Wesley, head of his private security.
527
00:28:48,152 --> 00:28:50,086
-Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch!
-Hey, hey, hey!
528
00:28:50,154 --> 00:28:51,917
Hey, Terry! Take it easy!
529
00:28:51,989 --> 00:28:53,957
-That's the guy who took our guns, Captain.
-And my shoes!
530
00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:57,084
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you
identify yourselves as police officers?
531
00:28:57,161 --> 00:28:58,253
What is this?
532
00:28:58,328 --> 00:29:00,660
-Allen, tell me. Did you?
-No, we did not.
533
00:29:00,764 --> 00:29:04,757
Sorry, gentlemen.
We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon.
534
00:29:05,302 --> 00:29:06,462
It's only protocol.
535
00:29:06,670 --> 00:29:11,300
Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this
scaffolding situation. The case is closed.
536
00:29:11,375 --> 00:29:13,866
I've taken care of all necessary paperwork.
537
00:29:13,977 --> 00:29:16,070
And you fellas, at this point,
should just be glad that
538
00:29:16,180 --> 00:29:19,672
Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges
for excessive use of force.
539
00:29:19,750 --> 00:29:21,217
-Thank you, Captain.
-You bet.
540
00:29:21,752 --> 00:29:23,344
Australian?
541
00:29:23,420 --> 00:29:24,853
Special Forces, right?
542
00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:27,747
Best watch your step, Detective.
543
00:29:27,858 --> 00:29:30,554
There are three things I love in this world.
544
00:29:30,661 --> 00:29:31,719
Kylie Minogue,
545
00:29:33,330 --> 00:29:36,094
small dimples just above
a woman's buttocks...
546
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,565
Beautiful features.
547
00:29:37,668 --> 00:29:40,398
...and the fear in a man's eye
who knows I'm about to hurt him.
548
00:29:40,504 --> 00:29:45,032
Hey! Shake your dicks.
This pissing contest is over.
549
00:29:45,108 --> 00:29:46,439
Come on, man.
550
00:29:49,012 --> 00:29:52,106
All right, look, they returned your shoes.
551
00:29:52,549 --> 00:29:56,781
And they returned your weapons.
Here you go, Terry.
552
00:29:58,388 --> 00:30:01,084
Allen, someone was nice enough
to put linseed oil on it,
553
00:30:01,191 --> 00:30:04,024
some kind of stain on that,
dark walnut or something.
554
00:30:04,094 --> 00:30:06,688
You might wanna think about
dropping them a thank you note.
555
00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:07,889
Okay.
556
00:30:07,965 --> 00:30:09,091
You're mad at us, huh, Gene?
557
00:30:09,199 --> 00:30:12,896
First off, don't call me Gene.
I'm your captain.
558
00:30:12,970 --> 00:30:15,564
Guys, do you remember
the "Be Smart" speech?
559
00:30:15,639 --> 00:30:16,765
-Sure.
-All right.
560
00:30:16,874 --> 00:30:19,468
Well, what did you do?
What'd you do about it?
561
00:30:19,576 --> 00:30:22,374
The opposite.
We were not smart, Captain Gene.
562
00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:24,414
It's just "Captain."
563
00:30:24,481 --> 00:30:27,541
Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene."
I don't have a kiddie show.
564
00:30:27,618 --> 00:30:29,245
That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene."
565
00:30:29,653 --> 00:30:33,714
Police mistakenly attest
investment banket, David Etshon.
566
00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:36,725
Was he the victim of financial ptofiling?
567
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:41,492
Financial profiling? That's crazy.
He broke the law and we arrested him.
568
00:30:41,598 --> 00:30:45,659
That wasn't a security team. He said,
"Don't let these people take me."
569
00:30:45,769 --> 00:30:48,169
I mean, when you hear hooves,
you think horses, not zebras.
570
00:30:49,473 --> 00:30:51,270
What about donkeys or deer?
571
00:30:51,341 --> 00:30:53,309
They have hooves.
What about bovine creatures?
572
00:30:55,312 --> 00:30:57,439
Were you just thinking to yourself,
"Fresh start"?
573
00:30:57,514 --> 00:31:00,483
-Yeah.
-Yeah. I could see it.
574
00:31:00,584 --> 00:31:02,643
Listen, why don't we just
go over to my place?
575
00:31:02,753 --> 00:31:04,084
We'll talk the case down.
576
00:31:04,154 --> 00:31:06,179
We can have a little dinner.
You can meet Sheila.
577
00:31:06,290 --> 00:31:08,986
Two cops talking down a case
while eating food, all right?
578
00:31:09,092 --> 00:31:10,252
-It's not dinner.
-Fine.
579
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:12,124
And let me apologize in advance, okay,
580
00:31:12,195 --> 00:31:14,595
in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch.
581
00:31:14,665 --> 00:31:19,864
She's a big old broad,
and she likes to wield it.
582
00:31:20,537 --> 00:31:25,873
Okay, so I put together a little bio,
complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon.
583
00:31:25,976 --> 00:31:29,377
I used Adobe Premiere.
I like to do a little weekend editing.
584
00:31:29,479 --> 00:31:33,040
I recently just cut three minutes
out of Goodfellas.
585
00:31:33,150 --> 00:31:36,381
David Etshon is cuttently
the CEO of Etshon Consottium.
586
00:31:36,486 --> 00:31:37,544
Who's that talking?
587
00:31:37,654 --> 00:31:40,179
It's the Ftontline Narration App.
It's only 99 cents.
588
00:31:40,290 --> 00:31:44,283
Etshon Consottium, cuttent financial
investments exceed $70 billion.
589
00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:47,387
His latgest clients include
Scheting-Plough and Lendl Global.
590
00:31:47,497 --> 00:31:50,193
Lendl Global has those TV ads
where I can't figure out what they do.
591
00:31:50,300 --> 00:31:53,360
Yeah, oil, media, health care,
you've probably heard their jingle.
592
00:31:53,470 --> 00:31:56,405
Lendl Global, we'te in evetything
593
00:31:56,506 --> 00:31:59,339
David Etshon is often found
in the company of Judge Scalia...
594
00:31:59,409 --> 00:32:01,741
-Yeah.
-...and the lead singet of Matoon 5.
595
00:32:01,845 --> 00:32:03,676
I mean, this guy could be
connected to drug cartels,
596
00:32:03,747 --> 00:32:06,580
black market organ sales,
human trafficking, all of it.
597
00:32:06,683 --> 00:32:08,310
How do you get that
from anything I just said?
598
00:32:08,385 --> 00:32:10,182
Hey, guys! Soup's on.
599
00:32:10,253 --> 00:32:11,652
What do you mean?
600
00:32:13,757 --> 00:32:14,849
Hi.
601
00:32:14,925 --> 00:32:16,517
-Hi.
-You must be Terry.
602
00:32:16,593 --> 00:32:19,824
I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey,
but this dinner was tricky.
603
00:32:21,198 --> 00:32:23,928
-Who are you?
-I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife.
604
00:32:24,234 --> 00:32:26,862
-Come on, seriously. Who is that?
-His old lady.
605
00:32:26,937 --> 00:32:29,428
-Sweetie, it's a workstation.
-Got it.
606
00:32:29,539 --> 00:32:33,066
And you come in here,
dressed like a hobo, it's distracting.
607
00:32:33,176 --> 00:32:35,110
I know you're working. I'm so sorry.
608
00:32:35,212 --> 00:32:37,203
-Come on, seriously.
-Come on, what?
609
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:38,508
Who is that?
610
00:32:38,582 --> 00:32:40,607
That's the old...
That's the old ball and chain.
611
00:32:42,953 --> 00:32:44,511
Get over here.
612
00:32:44,588 --> 00:32:46,215
-Not... Not right now.
-Okay.
613
00:32:46,289 --> 00:32:48,280
Look, they're not all first-round picks, okay?
614
00:32:48,692 --> 00:32:50,091
Come on, are you gonna tell me who that is?
615
00:32:50,961 --> 00:32:54,453
-Are you really Allen's wife?
-I know.
616
00:32:54,564 --> 00:32:58,022
People are shocked
because he's Episcopalian and I'm Catholic,
617
00:32:58,702 --> 00:33:00,135
but somehow it works.
618
00:33:00,871 --> 00:33:03,431
-Are you gonna change?
-I already did.
619
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,767
It's no big deal. You look really, really nice.
620
00:33:05,876 --> 00:33:09,937
Terry, you don't have to be polite, okay?
She looks kind of shitty.
621
00:33:10,047 --> 00:33:11,378
Don't speak to her like that, Allen.
622
00:33:11,448 --> 00:33:15,714
Look, if I put that in my Cosmo Fashion App,
you'd probably get a D-.
623
00:33:16,282 --> 00:33:18,079
Allen and his apps. He loves them.
624
00:33:18,151 --> 00:33:21,609
You know he's designed three of his own?
One of them... Can I tell him?
625
00:33:22,255 --> 00:33:24,155
One of them,
you can take a picture of anybody's face,
626
00:33:24,257 --> 00:33:27,055
and it'll tell you
what the back of his head looks like.
627
00:33:27,293 --> 00:33:28,624
-Faceback.
-Faceback.
628
00:33:28,728 --> 00:33:30,753
Got some horrible reviews
coming out of the gate.
629
00:33:31,130 --> 00:33:32,290
-It's gonna hit.
-It's gonna catch.
630
00:33:32,398 --> 00:33:34,423
Why are you with Allen?
631
00:33:34,500 --> 00:33:38,402
I mean, that's not what I meant.
I meant, how did you guys meet?
632
00:33:38,471 --> 00:33:40,939
It's a really typical
"how we met" story, Terry.
633
00:33:41,507 --> 00:33:42,701
You're gonna be bored by it.
634
00:33:42,775 --> 00:33:46,768
I was a dancer for the Knicks while
finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital.
635
00:33:46,879 --> 00:33:49,109
Allen came into the ER
with poison ivy on his rectum.
636
00:33:49,215 --> 00:33:50,273
Yes.
637
00:33:50,383 --> 00:33:53,011
Needless to say, I fell for him immediately.
638
00:33:53,419 --> 00:33:57,651
We immediately spent the next three days
at the La Quinta lnn,
639
00:33:58,391 --> 00:34:00,723
-and, to be honest, we didn't speak.
-Three days
640
00:34:00,793 --> 00:34:03,353
of not communicating once verbally.
641
00:34:03,663 --> 00:34:05,722
We had actually, without knowing it,
642
00:34:05,798 --> 00:34:11,065
developed a language of eye flutters
and non-verbal gestures.
643
00:34:11,304 --> 00:34:13,966
You know, Terry,
it was just this primal connection.
644
00:34:14,407 --> 00:34:19,401
After those three days of non-verbal
communication and a whole lot of loving,
645
00:34:19,646 --> 00:34:22,945
I had to go to a specialist
to get my hips realigned.
646
00:34:23,349 --> 00:34:26,978
Similar to operating on a German shepherd
647
00:34:27,720 --> 00:34:31,281
-when they have hip dysplasia.
-Very painful.
648
00:34:31,624 --> 00:34:35,651
It's funny, it's like a scene from that
one movie, always forget the name of it.
649
00:34:35,762 --> 00:34:36,922
-With Meg Ryan.
-Yes.
650
00:34:36,996 --> 00:34:39,965
I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan
meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass.
651
00:34:40,066 --> 00:34:42,466
-I'll think of it. I'll think of it.
-Okay.
652
00:34:42,568 --> 00:34:44,263
So, what about you, Terry?
Do you have a girl?
653
00:34:44,337 --> 00:34:46,328
I did, yeah.
654
00:34:46,439 --> 00:34:48,907
We were supposed to get married,
but she backed out. It's complicated.
655
00:34:48,975 --> 00:34:51,443
-Terry shot Derek Jeter.
-Shut up, Allen. This was before.
656
00:34:51,511 --> 00:34:52,773
That's okay.
657
00:34:52,845 --> 00:34:54,813
She's Got Mail.
That's the name of the movie.
658
00:34:54,914 --> 00:34:56,848
That's it! Honey!
659
00:34:56,949 --> 00:34:58,007
-With Tom Hanks?
-Right.
660
00:34:58,117 --> 00:34:59,175
-And Meg Ryan.
-Meg Ryan.
661
00:34:59,285 --> 00:35:00,343
He didn't have poison ivy up his ass.
662
00:35:00,453 --> 00:35:01,750
-Yes, he did.
-Yes, he did. Yeah.
663
00:35:01,821 --> 00:35:03,083
Way up there.
664
00:35:03,589 --> 00:35:06,183
Well, Terry, can't thank you enough
for coming by. What a...
665
00:35:06,292 --> 00:35:07,919
What a wonderful, lovely evening.
Thank you.
666
00:35:07,994 --> 00:35:11,623
-lt was so, so nice meeting you, Terry.
-lt was my pleasure. Thank you.
667
00:35:11,698 --> 00:35:16,192
And remember, all I ask of you is,
you don't let him get hurt, Terry.
668
00:35:16,302 --> 00:35:18,668
-She tells me that every day before I leave.
-Yep, I do.
669
00:35:19,005 --> 00:35:21,838
I come downstairs and I make him
his fresh-cut strawberries,
670
00:35:21,941 --> 00:35:24,705
and I say, "Listen, my little sugar balls,
whatever you do today,
671
00:35:24,811 --> 00:35:26,108
"you just don't get hurt."
672
00:35:26,179 --> 00:35:27,510
Yeah. Every morning.
673
00:35:27,947 --> 00:35:31,439
And then I show him my breasts,
and I say, "These are waiting for you
674
00:35:31,517 --> 00:35:32,643
-"when you get back home."
-Right.
675
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,620
You know, Terry, they're not
the biggest breasts he's ever seen,
676
00:35:35,688 --> 00:35:38,122
-but, man, are they perky.
-Not by a long shot.
677
00:35:38,191 --> 00:35:40,853
-And they are firm, and they are yours.
-You're a nice lady.
678
00:35:42,662 --> 00:35:43,856
Thank you for coming.
679
00:35:44,230 --> 00:35:48,189
Detectives Hoitz and Gamble?
Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Ovet.
680
00:35:48,301 --> 00:35:49,359
Go for Hoitz.
681
00:35:49,469 --> 00:35:50,993
-We found yout ted Ptius.
-Great.
682
00:35:51,070 --> 00:35:53,163
It was ttying to vote fot Ralph Nadet.
683
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,469
-Come on.
-Okay, sugar balls, listen up.
684
00:35:55,541 --> 00:35:56,838
There's gonna be fingerprints on that car.
685
00:35:56,909 --> 00:35:59,241
Tomorrow, we're gonna run those
fingerprints through the system.
686
00:35:59,345 --> 00:36:03,008
And if we get a hit, this case is gonna
heat up faster than a junkie's spoon.
687
00:36:03,082 --> 00:36:05,414
You do one thing
when you wake up tomorrow, bring it.
688
00:36:05,518 --> 00:36:06,576
-Okay.
-Thank you, Sheila.
689
00:36:06,686 --> 00:36:07,744
He'll bring it.
690
00:36:07,854 --> 00:36:09,481
-Good night!
-Good night.
691
00:36:09,555 --> 00:36:10,886
Thank you, Sheila.
692
00:36:11,224 --> 00:36:14,250
-Bye, Terry!
-Bye, Sheila! I'll never forget tonight.
693
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,157
-Bye, Terry!
-All right, Allen, whatever. Go inside.
694
00:36:16,229 --> 00:36:17,321
Bye, Sheila!
695
00:36:17,397 --> 00:36:18,887
-Night!
-See you... See you, Terry!
696
00:36:19,365 --> 00:36:20,855
Bye, Sheila.
697
00:36:24,837 --> 00:36:27,431
I don't know if he heard me. Bye, Terry!
698
00:36:27,540 --> 00:36:29,098
Bye, Sheila!
699
00:36:32,545 --> 00:36:36,948
Well, here she is. They left her
under an overpass for the night.
700
00:36:37,049 --> 00:36:38,710
You find anything?
701
00:36:38,785 --> 00:36:41,549
Yeah. We found a lot of stuff.
702
00:36:41,621 --> 00:36:43,589
From bodily fluid and hair samples,
703
00:36:43,689 --> 00:36:46,715
we determined that a bunch of old,
homeless dudes had an orgy in the car.
704
00:36:46,793 --> 00:36:49,057
-Oh, God.
-Yeah.
705
00:36:49,128 --> 00:36:50,959
You know what that's called
when they do that in there?
706
00:36:51,063 --> 00:36:52,530
That's called a soup kitchen.
707
00:36:52,598 --> 00:36:54,190
It's pretty rough stuff.
708
00:36:54,267 --> 00:36:57,759
Not long after that,
a mama raccoon came along
709
00:36:57,870 --> 00:36:59,269
and gave birth on the floor.
710
00:37:00,106 --> 00:37:01,698
Placenta blew out
all over the back window there.
711
00:37:02,842 --> 00:37:05,470
Yeah, and then to top it all off,
some joker comes along
712
00:37:05,745 --> 00:37:08,839
takes himself a nifty little dump
in the driver's seat.
713
00:37:09,182 --> 00:37:10,911
I think he knew you guys were cops,
714
00:37:11,317 --> 00:37:13,785
because this is what I would call
a spite shit.
715
00:37:14,253 --> 00:37:15,686
You were able to determine all of that
716
00:37:15,755 --> 00:37:17,586
-from the hair and fluid samples?
-Oh, yeah.
717
00:37:17,990 --> 00:37:19,855
What about fingerprints?
You find any fingerprints?
718
00:37:19,926 --> 00:37:21,951
-Nope, couldn't get a one.
-Found a cell phone.
719
00:37:22,428 --> 00:37:23,622
Yeah, that's mine.
720
00:37:23,763 --> 00:37:25,196
Any signs of a struggle or spent shells?
721
00:37:25,798 --> 00:37:29,996
No. Believe me, everybody that was
in on this orgy was more than willing.
722
00:37:30,069 --> 00:37:32,162
In fact, they even left you a note here.
723
00:37:32,238 --> 00:37:35,935
"Thanks for the F-shack.
Love, Dirty Mike and the boys."
724
00:37:36,075 --> 00:37:37,099
Here's something we found.
725
00:37:37,176 --> 00:37:39,770
We found about a dozen
unscratched lottery tickets.
726
00:37:39,946 --> 00:37:43,006
No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out.
727
00:37:43,182 --> 00:37:46,515
Yeah, it's a real shame, you know.
I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine.
728
00:37:47,353 --> 00:37:50,322
It's my first brand-new car.
I've never owned a new car.
729
00:37:50,389 --> 00:37:52,152
Found a deer vagina.
730
00:37:53,025 --> 00:37:55,220
-What?
-Thought it was human lips at first.
731
00:37:55,328 --> 00:37:57,796
Then we took a closer look.
It was definitely a deer vagina.
732
00:38:00,132 --> 00:38:00,996
Not even a free ticket.
733
00:38:02,235 --> 00:38:03,463
What are we gonna do?
734
00:38:03,569 --> 00:38:06,629
We got no fingerprints,
a bunch of losing lottery tickets.
735
00:38:06,873 --> 00:38:09,341
Look at this, there's a two-minute phone call
made after we were jumped.
736
00:38:09,906 --> 00:38:11,874
-They used your phone?
-They ghost dialed.
737
00:38:11,942 --> 00:38:13,102
Someone probably sat on it.
738
00:38:13,210 --> 00:38:15,940
It could have recorded some of their
conversation when Ershon got grabbed.
739
00:38:16,046 --> 00:38:17,377
We gotta hear the other side of that call.
740
00:38:18,548 --> 00:38:19,913
Nope, no, it's nothing.
741
00:38:19,983 --> 00:38:22,247
-Nothing? It's the only lead we have.
-It's nothing. It's nothing.
742
00:38:22,319 --> 00:38:23,718
Why did you just get super jumpy?
743
00:38:24,821 --> 00:38:25,913
What?
744
00:38:25,989 --> 00:38:27,957
It's an ex-girlfriend, okay?
745
00:38:28,058 --> 00:38:29,787
What's the matter?
What happened with you guys?
746
00:38:29,893 --> 00:38:31,724
She was just a bit of a handful, that's it.
747
00:38:36,733 --> 00:38:38,667
Allen, it's the only lead we have.
748
00:38:38,768 --> 00:38:41,100
We either go with this
or we walk away from this case right now.
749
00:38:41,671 --> 00:38:43,571
Fine. Let's go see her.
750
00:38:56,486 --> 00:38:57,748
Hello, Christinith.
751
00:38:57,821 --> 00:38:59,413
Hello, Allen.
752
00:39:01,825 --> 00:39:04,589
-That's my partner, Terry.
-Hi, Telly.
753
00:39:05,028 --> 00:39:08,191
-Holy shit. Dude.
-Just relax, relax.
754
00:39:08,965 --> 00:39:13,368
I waited for you in Tower Records
for four hours.
755
00:39:14,304 --> 00:39:16,272
That was 13 years ago.
756
00:39:19,342 --> 00:39:24,279
Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert.
Who wants some Arnie Palmies?
757
00:39:25,615 --> 00:39:27,207
Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here.
758
00:39:27,317 --> 00:39:30,480
-Hal, just place it down, please.
-All righty.
759
00:39:31,321 --> 00:39:32,549
Okay.
760
00:39:36,693 --> 00:39:41,824
I did things in bed with you
that I haven't done with anyone since.
761
00:39:41,898 --> 00:39:43,195
No.
762
00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:46,064
-Christinith, your husband, it's awkward.
-Oh, no, he knows all of this.
763
00:39:46,169 --> 00:39:48,660
-You're a lucky dog.
-It's true.
764
00:39:51,708 --> 00:39:53,573
Christine, this is a lovely house.
765
00:39:53,677 --> 00:39:56,703
It's Christinith.
Are you stupid, or are you deaf?
766
00:39:56,913 --> 00:39:59,507
Christinith, you idiot!
767
00:39:59,849 --> 00:40:04,218
You come to our house,
you get my wife's name right!
768
00:40:04,654 --> 00:40:06,019
-What?
-Christinith!
769
00:40:06,089 --> 00:40:08,853
Look, we really appreciate the hospitality.
770
00:40:09,192 --> 00:40:11,353
We'd just love to get the message off
your cell phone.
771
00:40:11,428 --> 00:40:15,387
We believe it might give us information
regarding a kidnapping.
772
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,971
Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen,
and I will let you listen to it
773
00:40:21,971 --> 00:40:24,496
and everyone else stay here.
774
00:40:24,907 --> 00:40:27,535
-Okay, sweetie.
-Come on.
775
00:40:31,413 --> 00:40:33,779
-There's my phone.
-Great, thank you for...
776
00:40:37,186 --> 00:40:40,622
I hate you, you son of a bitch!
777
00:40:40,689 --> 00:40:44,090
-You're so strong.
-I'm stronger than you will ever know!
778
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:47,186
I hate you! I hate you!
779
00:40:47,296 --> 00:40:50,788
You're so adorable.
Look at your face. Look at your face.
780
00:40:50,866 --> 00:40:54,802
You go, "l wuv you."
Say it. "l wuv you, Cwistinith."
781
00:41:00,609 --> 00:41:05,046
You probably think because of the beard
that I'm really hairy.
782
00:41:05,147 --> 00:41:07,115
But I'm not.
783
00:41:08,517 --> 00:41:09,984
Shaved.
784
00:41:10,486 --> 00:41:12,215
-Allen!
-He's fine.
785
00:41:13,189 --> 00:41:14,383
Question.
786
00:41:15,424 --> 00:41:16,584
What would you rather be,
787
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,428
a bear or a dog?
788
00:41:20,596 --> 00:41:23,531
-I don't care.
-I wanna be
789
00:41:24,900 --> 00:41:27,460
a bear dog. Half dog, half bear.
790
00:41:28,137 --> 00:41:30,503
'Cause that way, I could live in the house
791
00:41:30,773 --> 00:41:33,742
but I still get to make a doodie
out in the woods.
792
00:41:34,543 --> 00:41:35,771
Allen!
793
00:41:40,049 --> 00:41:41,539
Allen! Allen!
794
00:41:41,617 --> 00:41:44,848
-This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go!
-Hey!
795
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,445
You get back here
and you make love to my wife!
796
00:41:47,556 --> 00:41:49,080
Allen! Allen!
797
00:41:49,925 --> 00:41:53,452
I don't get it, man. I just do not get it.
798
00:41:53,562 --> 00:41:55,792
I mean,
that girl Christinith was seriously hot.
799
00:41:55,898 --> 00:41:57,525
Your wife is crazy hot.
800
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,296
I mean, even that Brazilian security chick,
she threw you a "Do me" vibe.
801
00:42:00,869 --> 00:42:02,336
What is it with you and hot ladies?
802
00:42:02,404 --> 00:42:05,771
First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot.
803
00:42:05,874 --> 00:42:09,935
Dude, you're insane.
Your wife is scalding hot.
804
00:42:10,045 --> 00:42:12,411
-You wanna listen to this message or not?
-Yeah, whatever.
805
00:42:12,514 --> 00:42:13,481
You have one job, mate.
806
00:42:14,181 --> 00:42:16,172
Find a sucket to invest with you
807
00:42:16,249 --> 00:42:18,217
so you can pay my boss back
the money you lost.
808
00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:19,513
And I don't cate who.
809
00:42:19,586 --> 00:42:21,918
Right. I actually think I found a sucket...
810
00:42:22,022 --> 00:42:24,456
-He's talking to Ershon.
-...to invest $32 billion.
811
00:42:24,558 --> 00:42:26,116
Who's got $32 billion to rob?
812
00:42:26,226 --> 00:42:28,456
Once I get the money, I'll falsify the tecotds
813
00:42:28,595 --> 00:42:31,359
to show theit massive losses
and then tepay yout employet.
814
00:42:31,431 --> 00:42:35,094
Now, since you'te following me,
I need to go to 2300 Patk Avenue,
815
00:42:35,202 --> 00:42:36,760
and aftet that...
816
00:42:36,870 --> 00:42:38,633
I told you it wasn't a security team.
817
00:42:38,939 --> 00:42:42,102
-He was being abducted.
-Obviously, but what kind... Holy...
818
00:42:42,209 --> 00:42:43,733
Nobody leaves our house
without making love to my wife!
819
00:42:43,810 --> 00:42:44,970
-ls that him?
-Yeah!
820
00:42:45,078 --> 00:42:46,875
Oh, my God, they came out of nowhere!
821
00:42:46,947 --> 00:42:48,778
-Holy shit!
-They chased us 20 miles.
822
00:42:48,882 --> 00:42:51,077
-You come back here! You get back here!
-Allen!
823
00:42:58,825 --> 00:43:02,420
2300 Park Avenue.
It's the offices of the lottery.
824
00:43:03,563 --> 00:43:05,258
Holy shit, the lottery tickets we found.
825
00:43:05,632 --> 00:43:08,066
Ershon is using the lottery money
to cover his losses.
826
00:43:08,135 --> 00:43:10,968
$32 billion. That's the state's money.
827
00:43:11,071 --> 00:43:13,266
Well, what do we tell Mauch?
A guy lost some money.
828
00:43:13,340 --> 00:43:16,832
We have a scratchy cell phone message
and an address. It's still half a case.
829
00:43:16,943 --> 00:43:20,902
There's gotta be some sort of paper trail.
If we can find that, if we can track it,
830
00:43:20,981 --> 00:43:22,175
then we can go to Mauch.
831
00:43:22,949 --> 00:43:26,942
So, I did some more research
on Ershon's accounting firm,
832
00:43:27,020 --> 00:43:28,749
and I found some pretty interesting stuff.
833
00:43:28,822 --> 00:43:31,985
It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has...
834
00:43:33,427 --> 00:43:35,122
Hold on, I'm up.
835
00:43:36,430 --> 00:43:39,490
I gave my love to Etin
836
00:43:40,467 --> 00:43:44,130
She ptomised to be ttue
837
00:43:44,671 --> 00:43:48,664
I went to wat to come back
838
00:43:48,775 --> 00:43:52,711
And find five Btitish soldiets
839
00:43:52,813 --> 00:43:56,010
Had theit way with het
840
00:43:56,183 --> 00:44:00,552
It was consensual
841
00:44:01,288 --> 00:44:02,346
Done?
842
00:44:02,456 --> 00:44:05,391
Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm
in Fair Lawn, New Jersey
843
00:44:05,492 --> 00:44:08,552
has only one client, David Ershon.
844
00:44:08,662 --> 00:44:11,187
Pretty rinky-dink operation
for a guy like that.
845
00:44:11,298 --> 00:44:13,994
Looks like we're going to Jersey
to visit an accounting firm.
846
00:44:14,067 --> 00:44:16,831
That's a shitty day.
847
00:44:18,071 --> 00:44:22,132
And all theit fathets wete hanged
848
00:44:22,209 --> 00:44:25,667
And the childten all got pink eye
849
00:44:27,747 --> 00:44:34,585
While theit Harry Potter books wete butned
850
00:44:40,227 --> 00:44:42,661
Do you have fun singing those songs?
They're really depressing.
851
00:44:42,729 --> 00:44:45,163
I do. They're full of rich history.
852
00:44:46,366 --> 00:44:48,357
Damn it, I'm late.
I was supposed to go meet my lady.
853
00:44:48,435 --> 00:44:50,835
I thought you said you guys split up.
854
00:44:50,904 --> 00:44:53,429
Let's just keep our thing about work, okay?
855
00:44:53,540 --> 00:44:55,098
All right. Goodbye, buddy.
856
00:44:55,208 --> 00:44:57,199
Hey, get off me, man.
857
00:45:15,795 --> 00:45:18,525
What the hell are you doing?
858
00:45:18,598 --> 00:45:21,192
I'm dancing, Terry.
What the hell are you doing here?
859
00:45:21,268 --> 00:45:23,429
I love you, Francine.
860
00:45:23,537 --> 00:45:26,768
If you were with me, you wouldn't be here
in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills!
861
00:45:26,873 --> 00:45:31,901
This is a ballet studio, Terry.
Okay? These poles are horizontal.
862
00:45:31,978 --> 00:45:34,037
He loves you very much, Francine.
863
00:45:34,114 --> 00:45:36,582
-Who is this guy?
-What are you doing here, Allen?
864
00:45:36,650 --> 00:45:38,277
It's the code. I'm your partner.
865
00:45:38,485 --> 00:45:41,545
I'm here to support a friend
and a work colleague.
866
00:45:41,621 --> 00:45:43,111
Francine, is this guy bothering you?
867
00:45:43,223 --> 00:45:46,090
Who's this, your new boyfriend?
Great. You got a new boyfriend.
868
00:45:46,159 --> 00:45:49,595
He is my dance partner, Terry. Okay?
869
00:45:49,663 --> 00:45:51,460
I know that this is a big surprise,
870
00:45:51,565 --> 00:45:54,398
but there are other things in the world
besides being a cop. Okay?
871
00:45:55,068 --> 00:45:57,935
Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna dance.
872
00:45:58,004 --> 00:45:59,801
What, you don't think I can do this shit?
873
00:46:16,323 --> 00:46:18,518
That was surprisingly good, Terry.
874
00:46:18,825 --> 00:46:21,521
-I love you, Francine.
-You don't know what love is.
875
00:46:21,628 --> 00:46:23,562
He loves you very much, Francine!
876
00:46:23,663 --> 00:46:25,563
I heard it when he said it. Thank you.
877
00:46:25,665 --> 00:46:27,860
You know what you're doing to me?
You're killing me inside.
878
00:46:27,968 --> 00:46:29,060
And don't eyeball me, man!
879
00:46:29,169 --> 00:46:31,137
You're running around
with this crack-dealing drug addict?
880
00:46:31,204 --> 00:46:32,296
Terry!
881
00:46:32,372 --> 00:46:34,067
He does not approve of your behavior!
882
00:46:34,174 --> 00:46:36,142
Can you please go?
883
00:46:36,209 --> 00:46:38,507
And you, too,
creepy guy standing in the door?
884
00:46:42,649 --> 00:46:43,843
Let's go, Allen.
885
00:46:44,317 --> 00:46:46,877
I think we all experienced
our own ballet today.
886
00:46:47,220 --> 00:46:49,017
The ballet of emotion and feelings.
887
00:46:49,489 --> 00:46:51,047
You're kind of making things worse.
888
00:47:00,667 --> 00:47:03,500
-You okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
889
00:47:04,938 --> 00:47:07,429
Hey, I didn't know you could dance.
890
00:47:08,375 --> 00:47:10,843
We used to do those dance moves
to make fun of guys when we were kids,
891
00:47:10,910 --> 00:47:12,275
show them how queer they were, okay?
892
00:47:14,214 --> 00:47:17,206
-You learned to dance like that sarcastically?
-Yeah, I guess.
893
00:47:17,284 --> 00:47:20,845
Stay out of my personal life, okay?
The kid flies private.
894
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:24,083
Stay focused on the case, man.
I'll see you in Jersey tomorrow.
895
00:47:24,524 --> 00:47:26,082
All right, Terry.
896
00:47:26,626 --> 00:47:30,221
Hey, that was liberating for me.
I don't know how it felt for you.
897
00:47:52,750 --> 00:47:56,117
Here, check this out.
Article from six months ago.
898
00:47:56,221 --> 00:47:57,779
Talking about how the lottery is looking
899
00:47:57,889 --> 00:48:00,289
to invest their $30-billion fund
more aggressively.
900
00:48:00,992 --> 00:48:02,118
So he's dealing drugs?
901
00:48:02,494 --> 00:48:06,294
No, it's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice.
902
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,231
Look, I'm sorry. I just...
903
00:48:11,936 --> 00:48:16,635
I am in a bit of a state today.
Sheila and I got into it last night.
904
00:48:17,175 --> 00:48:18,540
What happened?
905
00:48:20,445 --> 00:48:23,243
She was interested in taking this class
at The Learning Annex, right?
906
00:48:23,882 --> 00:48:25,816
Called "The Art of Oral Sex"?
907
00:48:26,084 --> 00:48:28,780
You know, we just don't have it
in the budget right now.
908
00:48:29,387 --> 00:48:31,355
It's always about her.
909
00:48:31,756 --> 00:48:33,724
Yeah, that's... That's messed up.
910
00:48:35,460 --> 00:48:36,620
Hey, I got you a gift.
911
00:48:37,462 --> 00:48:41,228
I just saw something, and I thought of you,
and so, I don't want it to be weird.
912
00:48:41,299 --> 00:48:42,425
I just wanted to be nice.
913
00:48:42,534 --> 00:48:43,865
Of course it's weird.
914
00:48:43,935 --> 00:48:45,766
It's a grown man
giving another man a present.
915
00:48:47,438 --> 00:48:49,770
There you go. Open it up.
916
00:48:50,375 --> 00:48:52,275
It's okay, you're welcome.
917
00:48:52,810 --> 00:48:54,778
I like to do things like that.
918
00:48:54,913 --> 00:48:56,972
Take a look what it says.
919
00:49:05,823 --> 00:49:08,291
You know,
because we're both in law enforcement.
920
00:49:08,393 --> 00:49:09,951
We both like women.
921
00:49:10,061 --> 00:49:13,053
But I got a weird sense of humor.
I'm a sick puppy.
922
00:49:13,398 --> 00:49:15,559
I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard.
923
00:49:15,633 --> 00:49:16,930
Me, too.
924
00:49:20,338 --> 00:49:23,501
Real nice. You know, it's all class.
925
00:49:25,743 --> 00:49:27,142
-Okay.
-Don't do that shit any more.
926
00:49:27,245 --> 00:49:28,610
Yeah, believe me, I won't.
927
00:49:29,247 --> 00:49:31,545
Do you understand
what's so funny about it, though?
928
00:49:33,117 --> 00:49:36,712
'Cause it's the FBl, right?
It has the same logo, the same shield.
929
00:49:36,788 --> 00:49:39,621
And at first glance, you're like,
it's just a mug that says "FBl."
930
00:49:40,189 --> 00:49:44,853
But then at second glance,
you're like, "Female Body lnspector"?
931
00:49:44,927 --> 00:49:47,088
Get out of town. This is outrageous...
932
00:49:47,196 --> 00:49:48,458
Shut up!
933
00:50:00,977 --> 00:50:03,207
I'm gonna climb over
that anger wall of yours
934
00:50:03,279 --> 00:50:04,371
one of these days,
935
00:50:04,447 --> 00:50:06,608
and it's gonna be glorious.
936
00:50:10,153 --> 00:50:12,815
Shouldn't we tell Mauch that
we're going to check this place out?
937
00:50:12,922 --> 00:50:14,190
For what? We're just going to check it out.
938
00:50:14,190 --> 00:50:16,055
I know, but it's procedure.
939
00:50:17,126 --> 00:50:19,253
Terry answers to no one.
940
00:50:19,929 --> 00:50:22,090
I do what I do.
941
00:50:23,132 --> 00:50:25,600
What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a.m.
on a Tuesday?
942
00:50:25,668 --> 00:50:26,930
This is a shithole.
943
00:50:34,610 --> 00:50:35,668
I love bombs.
944
00:50:35,778 --> 00:50:38,941
I can't hear! I can't hear!
945
00:50:40,416 --> 00:50:42,407
There's blood blisters on my hands!
946
00:50:42,485 --> 00:50:43,577
Oh, my God!
947
00:50:43,653 --> 00:50:45,951
How do they walk away in movies
without flinching
948
00:50:46,022 --> 00:50:47,751
when it explodes behind them?
949
00:50:47,823 --> 00:50:51,088
There's no way! I call bullshit on that!
950
00:50:51,427 --> 00:50:54,760
When they flew the Millennium Falcon
outside of the Death Star,
951
00:50:54,830 --> 00:50:58,823
and it was followed by the explosion,
that was bullshit!
952
00:50:58,935 --> 00:51:02,200
Don't you dare badmouth Stat Wats!
That was all accurate!
953
00:51:02,305 --> 00:51:04,273
I need an MRl.
954
00:51:04,340 --> 00:51:08,640
I need an MRl! I've got soft tissue damage.
955
00:51:09,111 --> 00:51:11,136
There's no way
I don't have soft tissue damage.
956
00:51:11,214 --> 00:51:12,306
Please stop.
957
00:51:12,381 --> 00:51:14,110
I just wanna go somewhere
and breastfeed right now!
958
00:51:18,287 --> 00:51:22,656
Fire Department said it was a gas leak,
but no way. That was timed.
959
00:51:22,725 --> 00:51:24,522
They didn't wanna kill us,
but they wanted to scare us.
960
00:51:24,627 --> 00:51:27,118
Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay?
961
00:51:27,196 --> 00:51:29,824
I'm tired of this. All right?
962
00:51:29,899 --> 00:51:32,459
I'm tired of explosions
and people pointing guns at me.
963
00:51:32,535 --> 00:51:34,662
I wanna go back to my desk.
964
00:51:34,737 --> 00:51:38,229
Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes
and messes with your ears.
965
00:51:38,341 --> 00:51:40,809
You can't escape it by hiding
at your desk for your whole life.
966
00:51:40,876 --> 00:51:43,640
You know what? Yes, you can.
I've done it for years, okay?
967
00:51:43,713 --> 00:51:46,648
There's no explosions at my desk.
968
00:51:46,716 --> 00:51:51,653
There's no explosions at my home
with my plain wife, in my plain house.
969
00:51:53,990 --> 00:51:55,719
What are you afraid of, man?
970
00:51:56,859 --> 00:52:01,353
I'm your partner. You can tell me.
What the hell are you hiding from?
971
00:52:02,098 --> 00:52:04,464
I was a sophomore in college.
972
00:52:05,868 --> 00:52:09,929
The university I went to
decided they needed to raise tuition.
973
00:52:11,073 --> 00:52:16,909
A classmate of mine, Brenda, in an effort
to raise money and stay in school,
974
00:52:16,979 --> 00:52:18,947
came up with a nifty plan
975
00:52:19,048 --> 00:52:21,482
where she thought she'd date guys
and charge them money.
976
00:52:21,651 --> 00:52:23,243
I go on dates all the time,
977
00:52:23,319 --> 00:52:25,446
with a whole bunch of,
you know, boys and stuff.
978
00:52:25,554 --> 00:52:28,887
And I kind of need somebody to help me out,
like, you know, my partner in crime.
979
00:52:29,458 --> 00:52:31,722
Yeah, I could make a schedule.
980
00:52:31,794 --> 00:52:33,386
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's what I was thinking.
981
00:52:33,462 --> 00:52:35,987
-Provide transportation services.
-Yeah, yeah.
982
00:52:36,098 --> 00:52:38,225
-It's gonna be a good time.
-Thanks so much for asking me.
983
00:52:38,301 --> 00:52:40,769
She said she needed my help to make sute
that the dates went okay
984
00:52:40,836 --> 00:52:44,294
and that the guys paid her.
She said she'd give me a percentage.
985
00:52:44,407 --> 00:52:47,672
-Oh, my God. You were a pimp.
-What? God, no.
986
00:52:47,777 --> 00:52:49,836
No, I was just trying to help a friend.
987
00:52:49,945 --> 00:52:52,505
We statted making a lot of money.
988
00:52:53,516 --> 00:52:56,417
And wouldn't you know it,
some of Btenda's gitlftiends
989
00:52:56,485 --> 00:52:59,181
decided they wanted to be a patt of it.
990
00:52:59,288 --> 00:53:01,950
Ptetty soon, thete wete about 14 ladies
that I was ptotecting
991
00:53:02,024 --> 00:53:03,651
while they gave me money.
992
00:53:03,759 --> 00:53:05,283
That's called a stable of whotes.
993
00:53:06,195 --> 00:53:11,132
We decided I shouldn't use my real name.
So we came up with the name "Gator."
994
00:53:11,367 --> 00:53:12,834
I'm telling you, you were a pimp.
995
00:53:12,935 --> 00:53:15,529
No! Are you even listening to the story?
996
00:53:18,341 --> 00:53:20,434
Anyway, one day,
I wake up and I look in the mirror,
997
00:53:20,509 --> 00:53:22,773
and I don't like what I see.
998
00:53:24,013 --> 00:53:27,540
I mean, I had gotten out of conttol,
and I didn't even tealize it.
999
00:53:28,351 --> 00:53:30,683
You can't have a conscience
in the pimp game.
1000
00:53:31,454 --> 00:53:33,183
One night, two of my favorite girls,
1001
00:53:33,289 --> 00:53:35,484
Candy and Jolene, said,
"We gotta take you in,"
1002
00:53:35,558 --> 00:53:37,856
and they dropped me off
at the emergency room.
1003
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:39,860
That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess.
1004
00:53:39,962 --> 00:53:45,161
I made a promise to myself and to her
that I would never get out of control again.
1005
00:53:46,001 --> 00:53:47,366
So, as soon as I graduated from college,
1006
00:53:47,470 --> 00:53:50,371
I became an accountant
for the police department.
1007
00:53:51,006 --> 00:53:53,702
The most stable job I could think of.
1008
00:53:55,311 --> 00:53:57,711
An accountant for law and order.
1009
00:54:00,015 --> 00:54:04,076
I just don't wanna ever feel out of control
like that ever again.
1010
00:54:04,186 --> 00:54:06,882
Don't worry. I got your back.
1011
00:54:06,989 --> 00:54:09,389
Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill
and see if he cracks.
1012
00:54:09,492 --> 00:54:13,258
-I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around.
-Okay.
1013
00:54:13,596 --> 00:54:16,326
You can eithet walk the plank
ot take yout panties off.
1014
00:54:16,399 --> 00:54:18,026
The choice is youts.
1015
00:54:18,100 --> 00:54:22,366
-I want to take my panties off.
-You've made a wise choice, you have.
1016
00:54:22,438 --> 00:54:27,239
Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble and the officer
who shot Derek Jeter are here.
1017
00:54:27,777 --> 00:54:29,039
Gentlemen, please.
1018
00:54:29,111 --> 00:54:32,410
-Remember us, hotshot?
-Of course I do. Please, sit.
1019
00:54:32,515 --> 00:54:34,176
Thete she blows.
1020
00:54:36,585 --> 00:54:39,850
Two of those Russian waters, please.
No lime wedges, just cucumber.
1021
00:54:39,922 --> 00:54:43,050
Guess where we just came from?
An explosion at your accounting office.
1022
00:54:43,392 --> 00:54:45,622
Yes, that awful gas leak.
1023
00:54:45,728 --> 00:54:49,630
Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one
coming out of your mouth right now.
1024
00:54:49,732 --> 00:54:54,760
I just thank God
no one was hurt or injured in a bad way.
1025
00:54:54,870 --> 00:54:57,566
I absolutely abhor death.
1026
00:54:57,807 --> 00:55:01,265
Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber.
The jig is up, okay?
1027
00:55:01,410 --> 00:55:03,241
We know that wasn't your security team
that grabbed you.
1028
00:55:03,312 --> 00:55:05,644
And we know you're targeting a big fish
to cover losses.
1029
00:55:05,748 --> 00:55:08,080
You talk or I beat you
so it don't show no bruises.
1030
00:55:08,451 --> 00:55:11,215
God, this water is good.
Terry, have you tried the water?
1031
00:55:11,287 --> 00:55:12,777
Shut up, Allen.
1032
00:55:12,888 --> 00:55:16,153
I assure you,
I have no idea what you're talking about.
1033
00:55:16,258 --> 00:55:20,160
I understand there was a bit of a mix-up
with the whole scaffolding business.
1034
00:55:20,262 --> 00:55:25,666
The cucumber accents the water
in such a way that...
1035
00:55:26,836 --> 00:55:31,569
Perhaps by way of apology,
I can offer you my personal courtside seats
1036
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:35,804
for the Knicks game,
with access to the Ambassador Club.
1037
00:55:38,180 --> 00:55:43,311
Come on, Knicks! Come on!
I got Knicks' fever and it's catching!
1038
00:55:44,653 --> 00:55:48,680
Hey. This feels weird sitting here.
It feels like it's a bribe.
1039
00:55:48,791 --> 00:55:53,319
It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch,
I saw courtside and I went blind.
1040
00:55:53,429 --> 00:55:54,691
Come on.
1041
00:55:55,531 --> 00:55:56,862
Call me!
1042
00:55:58,334 --> 00:56:00,131
-Excuse me.
-That was a trick.
1043
00:56:00,202 --> 00:56:01,601
No more.
1044
00:56:01,670 --> 00:56:07,040
Gentlemen, you have a choice.
Mamma Mia or Jetsey Boys.
1045
00:56:10,379 --> 00:56:13,439
Fantastic! You're so unbelievable!
1046
00:56:17,953 --> 00:56:19,853
Damn it. He did it again.
1047
00:56:20,823 --> 00:56:23,121
-Excuse me.
-No more tickets.
1048
00:56:23,192 --> 00:56:25,126
Mr. Ershon,
I tried to keep them in the waiting room.
1049
00:56:25,194 --> 00:56:28,459
That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters
with Mediterranean limes.
1050
00:56:28,531 --> 00:56:30,396
No, no, no. No more water.
We're not here for that.
1051
00:56:30,499 --> 00:56:32,524
No, I was very much looking forward
to having a water.
1052
00:56:32,635 --> 00:56:37,072
-How great is Jetsey Boys?
-It's not great. It's fantastic!
1053
00:56:37,172 --> 00:56:40,505
You totally undersold it.
The pageantry, the costumes.
1054
00:56:40,576 --> 00:56:42,203
Wow, what a musical.
1055
00:56:42,311 --> 00:56:44,176
Hey. Get over here.
1056
00:56:45,314 --> 00:56:46,474
-What's wrong with you?
-What?
1057
00:56:46,549 --> 00:56:48,039
That's not what we're here for.
1058
00:56:48,984 --> 00:56:51,043
We're gonna do good cop, bad cop. Okay?
1059
00:56:51,353 --> 00:56:54,379
It's the oldest game in the book for a reason,
it works.
1060
00:56:54,490 --> 00:56:55,821
I come strong, then you come in.
1061
00:56:55,891 --> 00:56:56,983
-You got it?
-Yeah.
1062
00:56:57,059 --> 00:56:59,721
-I come strong, then you come in.
-Right. Got it.
1063
00:56:59,828 --> 00:57:01,728
Now you listen to me, you piece of shit.
1064
00:57:01,997 --> 00:57:04,557
It's just you and me,
and I'm gonna rip you apart!
1065
00:57:04,667 --> 00:57:08,865
How did you cover your losses up?
What drug cartel are you working with now?
1066
00:57:08,938 --> 00:57:12,874
-Okay, I'll talk to you, you're reasonable!
-No, no, look at me!
1067
00:57:12,942 --> 00:57:15,410
You wanna talk to me?
You wanna talk to me?
1068
00:57:15,511 --> 00:57:19,003
Allen, what are you doing?
What are you doing? Allen!
1069
00:57:19,848 --> 00:57:22,078
I'm gonna make you eat
a plate of human shit!
1070
00:57:22,751 --> 00:57:24,548
Get away from me!
1071
00:57:29,258 --> 00:57:30,725
Where is he?
1072
00:57:32,761 --> 00:57:35,355
Look, I'm really sorry about that.
1073
00:57:36,198 --> 00:57:38,723
I saw how aggressive you were being,
and I thought,
1074
00:57:38,801 --> 00:57:42,430
"Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that,
since we're doing bad cop, bad cop."
1075
00:57:42,538 --> 00:57:47,601
What? No, I said, "Good cop, bad cop."
I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop.
1076
00:57:47,710 --> 00:57:52,113
Okay, then there it is. That's it.
I thought you said, "Bad cop, bad cop."
1077
00:57:52,448 --> 00:57:55,884
Well, while you were going crazy,
look what I snagged from his desk.
1078
00:57:55,951 --> 00:57:58,044
-Think it's his phone sheet.
-Nice.
1079
00:57:58,387 --> 00:58:00,082
Seven calls to the lottery office.
1080
00:58:00,422 --> 00:58:01,946
That could be the evidence
we need for Mauch.
1081
00:58:04,727 --> 00:58:07,594
-Get back. Colombian drug lords.
-Where are you getting that from?
1082
00:58:09,398 --> 00:58:10,592
Jesus!
1083
00:58:19,408 --> 00:58:21,842
Can you imagine where you'd be
in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter?
1084
00:58:29,652 --> 00:58:32,985
-We call this in, right?
-Looks like we got all the evidence we need.
1085
00:58:33,088 --> 00:58:35,147
I'm sorry, my butterfly.
1086
00:58:36,525 --> 00:58:39,460
We'll load them up, send them back to go.
1087
00:58:48,203 --> 00:58:51,502
-Holy shit.
-What?
1088
00:58:51,607 --> 00:58:54,303
What do you mean, what? Where are we?
1089
00:58:55,678 --> 00:58:57,111
We're in the high desert.
1090
00:58:57,179 --> 00:59:00,945
They took my shoes again, man!
What the hell is it with taking shoes?
1091
00:59:01,016 --> 00:59:02,540
-They took your wooden gun?
-Yeah.
1092
00:59:09,124 --> 00:59:11,354
-Hello?
-Hello, Gene? I mean, Captain.
1093
00:59:11,460 --> 00:59:12,859
Captain, it's Allen Gamble.
1094
00:59:12,961 --> 00:59:14,792
Yeah, yeah. Where are you?
What's going on?
1095
00:59:14,863 --> 00:59:17,161
Captain, it's a long stoty,
but I'm just gonna cut to the chase.
1096
00:59:17,232 --> 00:59:19,200
We are in Las Vegas, all right?
1097
00:59:19,301 --> 00:59:22,668
We were kidnapped, put on a freight train,
and shipped out here.
1098
00:59:22,738 --> 00:59:25,172
Let me just stop you right there.
Don't bullshit me.
1099
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:26,639
Captain, I am being straight with you.
1100
00:59:26,709 --> 00:59:29,041
Look, we think something's going on, okay?
1101
00:59:29,144 --> 00:59:32,011
We think Ershon is targeting the lottery
to cover his losses.
1102
00:59:32,081 --> 00:59:37,519
Wait. How many times
did I explicitly say to you, "Lay off Ershon"?
1103
00:59:38,020 --> 00:59:39,317
Terry, Captain wants to know
1104
00:59:39,388 --> 00:59:41,322
how many times
has he asked us to lay off of Ershon.
1105
00:59:41,390 --> 00:59:42,482
Twice.
1106
00:59:43,325 --> 00:59:45,088
Twice. Terry says twice. I agree.
1107
00:59:45,194 --> 00:59:47,253
I'm hanging up. I'm done.
1108
00:59:51,533 --> 00:59:56,061
I gotta tell you, I started getting a hand
for that, a taste for that Pai Gow.
1109
00:59:56,772 --> 01:00:01,368
Martin and Fosse, super cops,
in three, two...
1110
01:00:01,443 --> 01:00:07,348
So, we busted that junkie.
Got back 74 thou in diamonds. 74 thou.
1111
01:00:08,450 --> 01:00:09,883
Solved the Castien case.
1112
01:00:09,952 --> 01:00:12,750
$74,000? That's all they took?
1113
01:00:12,855 --> 01:00:15,085
There's millions of dollars of diamonds
in that place.
1114
01:00:15,190 --> 01:00:17,351
How about this, Gamble?
How about you shut your face?
1115
01:00:17,426 --> 01:00:19,018
All right? Just shut it.
1116
01:00:19,094 --> 01:00:20,721
Hoitz, Gamble, Captain's looking for you.
1117
01:00:23,699 --> 01:00:25,929
I know it's off the subject,
but is Kevlar copyrighted?
1118
01:00:26,034 --> 01:00:27,296
-Captain?
-Yeah.
1119
01:00:27,402 --> 01:00:29,893
-ls it a bad time?
-No, come on. Come on.
1120
01:00:30,272 --> 01:00:32,103
-Not me, right?
-Yeah, and you.
1121
01:00:32,207 --> 01:00:35,904
Fellows, I'm sure you're familiar with
the venerable DA Radford.
1122
01:00:35,978 --> 01:00:37,639
He wanted to come down and pay us a visit.
1123
01:00:37,746 --> 01:00:38,974
Hello, gentlemen.
1124
01:00:39,081 --> 01:00:40,207
-Hello, sir.
-Hey.
1125
01:00:40,282 --> 01:00:43,649
-You know, I was talking to Gene here.
-He prefers "Captain."
1126
01:00:43,752 --> 01:00:47,244
Yes, I was talking to Gene here,
and, you know, it's funny.
1127
01:00:47,556 --> 01:00:49,786
I don't know what you two have been up to,
1128
01:00:49,892 --> 01:00:53,259
but I've been getting calls
from people I don't ever get calls from.
1129
01:00:53,328 --> 01:00:56,263
In 40 years of enforcing the law,
I've learned one thing.
1130
01:00:56,899 --> 01:00:58,594
When that happens, stop.
1131
01:01:00,169 --> 01:01:03,263
-Gene, how's the family?
-Good, good, Louis, thanks for asking.
1132
01:01:03,338 --> 01:01:05,329
-My son's bisexual, so...
-Tremendous.
1133
01:01:08,143 --> 01:01:09,667
Gentlemen, do we understand each other?
1134
01:01:10,979 --> 01:01:13,140
-Cut the crap!
-Will do.
1135
01:01:17,519 --> 01:01:18,952
Guy never comes down here.
1136
01:01:19,021 --> 01:01:21,854
Twenty years, I think I've seen that guy
in this building one time.
1137
01:01:21,957 --> 01:01:25,120
-He's a heavyweight cat, that guy.
-He was sitting right here.
1138
01:01:25,527 --> 01:01:28,963
Yeah. I think you missed the point.
Anyway, look.
1139
01:01:29,031 --> 01:01:32,467
Blue and white found your firearms down
by the Hudson River. Here you go, Terry.
1140
01:01:34,136 --> 01:01:35,626
You know what?
1141
01:01:36,305 --> 01:01:38,273
I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun.
1142
01:01:38,340 --> 01:01:40,205
-To give me back my real gun?
-No.
1143
01:01:40,309 --> 01:01:42,368
'Cause I'm gonna give you this.
1144
01:01:43,111 --> 01:01:46,274
It's a rape whistle.
You blow that if you run into any trouble
1145
01:01:46,882 --> 01:01:49,442
and someone with an actual gun
will come and help you out.
1146
01:01:50,819 --> 01:01:55,483
We were abducted, Captain! This shit is real!
Ershon's dirty. He's targeting the lottery!
1147
01:01:55,557 --> 01:02:00,460
Next, I want you guys to hand in all
the evidence you think you have to the SEC.
1148
01:02:00,529 --> 01:02:02,360
The financial district's
under their jurisdiction.
1149
01:02:02,464 --> 01:02:04,932
Don't you get it? This case is talking to us!
1150
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:08,128
I'm a peacock, Captain!
You gotta let me fly on this one!
1151
01:02:08,203 --> 01:02:11,104
You know what, Terry? Let's just settle this.
Peacocks don't fly.
1152
01:02:11,173 --> 01:02:14,631
-They fly, they fly a little bit.
-Yeah, about as much as a penguin.
1153
01:02:14,710 --> 01:02:18,339
One more thing, do me a favor,
don't go chasing waterfalls.
1154
01:02:19,047 --> 01:02:21,607
Was that accidental, or were you trying
to quote TLC on purpose?
1155
01:02:22,451 --> 01:02:23,509
I don't even understand the reference.
1156
01:02:24,052 --> 01:02:26,179
-You don't understand what you said?
-I don't know what that is.
1157
01:02:26,288 --> 01:02:27,721
Get out. Go.
1158
01:02:38,467 --> 01:02:40,697
How did they get that story?
1159
01:02:42,237 --> 01:02:45,206
I'm tired of being treated like a jerk
for trying to do the right thing.
1160
01:02:45,307 --> 01:02:46,365
Hey, guys.
1161
01:02:46,742 --> 01:02:50,644
There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment
of the pension coming up,
1162
01:02:50,712 --> 01:02:53,579
-so if you just wanna come by the old...
-Damn it, Bob!
1163
01:02:53,682 --> 01:02:54,740
Let me ask you something.
1164
01:02:54,850 --> 01:02:57,250
What do you even do around here
besides interrupt people?
1165
01:02:57,949 --> 01:03:00,349
Well, I serve as treasurer to the union.
1166
01:03:00,418 --> 01:03:03,251
I make a wicked pot of decaf.
1167
01:03:03,355 --> 01:03:06,586
Exactly! You're a worthless piece of shit!
1168
01:03:08,526 --> 01:03:12,053
Probably right, Terry.
That's why I feel so sad all the time.
1169
01:03:12,964 --> 01:03:14,761
I'm gonna go for a walk.
1170
01:03:14,866 --> 01:03:16,128
-Bob!
-Say something.
1171
01:03:16,234 --> 01:03:18,099
Come on! Bob!
1172
01:03:18,203 --> 01:03:21,104
I didn't mean it, all right? I'm upset.
1173
01:03:38,924 --> 01:03:44,021
Actually, we don't do that here.
This is an installation art piece.
1174
01:03:44,396 --> 01:03:46,489
-This coffee table?
-Yes. We don't put drinks on it.
1175
01:03:50,268 --> 01:03:52,930
-Five hundred thousand?
-He can read! Congratulations.
1176
01:03:53,405 --> 01:03:55,566
-What?
-I'm sorry, are you in the right place?
1177
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:57,938
Or not? I'm...
1178
01:03:59,144 --> 01:04:00,338
-Terry.
-Does he... Okay.
1179
01:04:00,412 --> 01:04:03,677
-Well...
-Sorry. Terry! What are you doing here?
1180
01:04:04,916 --> 01:04:09,285
-I want to be with you.
-No, Terry, that's not gonna happen.
1181
01:04:09,654 --> 01:04:12,282
You know where you belong.
On top of me in the Poconos.
1182
01:04:13,124 --> 01:04:15,149
Instead, you're here
selling dirty coffee tables?
1183
01:04:15,327 --> 01:04:16,885
I mean, look at this. This is nonsense!
1184
01:04:16,962 --> 01:04:19,396
Terry, this is an original Haverfield-Jameson.
1185
01:04:19,764 --> 01:04:23,962
The chaos of the coffee table?
It represents our fractured egos.
1186
01:04:24,436 --> 01:04:26,427
You think I don't know
about this artsy-fartsy crap?
1187
01:04:26,805 --> 01:04:31,265
This coffee table isn't the ego. It represents
our shattered sense of community
1188
01:04:31,609 --> 01:04:33,372
in the face of capitalist-driven isolation.
1189
01:04:33,678 --> 01:04:36,238
Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman
or Frank Stella.
1190
01:04:36,915 --> 01:04:38,212
How did you know that, Terry?
1191
01:04:38,683 --> 01:04:40,082
I took some classes at RlSD
1192
01:04:40,151 --> 01:04:42,483
so I could make fun of these lame artsy
douches in my neighborhood.
1193
01:04:42,554 --> 01:04:44,954
-Terry, lower your voice!
-I don't have to lower my voice.
1194
01:04:45,023 --> 01:04:47,821
-ls this man bothering you?
-Are you actually having sex with this creep?
1195
01:04:48,159 --> 01:04:49,990
Terry, he's gay. Okay?
1196
01:04:51,262 --> 01:04:53,924
He's even wearing a T-shirt that says,
"I'm gay"!
1197
01:04:54,199 --> 01:04:56,064
All right? And also, he is my boss.
1198
01:04:56,401 --> 01:04:57,561
Happy for you, man. Good.
1199
01:04:57,635 --> 01:04:59,500
Can you get out of here now?
I'm talking to my lady.
1200
01:04:59,704 --> 01:05:03,037
Mr. Reger, everything is fine.
Terry is actually leaving now.
1201
01:05:03,475 --> 01:05:05,534
Nice toot, sailor. Jesus.
1202
01:05:06,778 --> 01:05:08,712
Terry, what are you doing?
1203
01:05:09,214 --> 01:05:12,615
Look, I waited three years
for you to be more than a cop, okay?
1204
01:05:12,951 --> 01:05:14,179
Just give me one more year.
1205
01:05:14,619 --> 01:05:17,019
Terry, you don't get another year. I'm done.
1206
01:05:17,522 --> 01:05:18,580
Fine.
1207
01:05:19,057 --> 01:05:22,254
-Terry, don't touch that! Terry!
-Oh, my God!
1208
01:05:22,594 --> 01:05:24,528
I don't need this shit. I don't need you!
1209
01:05:25,530 --> 01:05:27,623
And when you call me, I'm not coming back!
1210
01:05:28,900 --> 01:05:31,960
-Oh, boy! Over the top!
-How outté!
1211
01:05:32,337 --> 01:05:34,464
I'll burn this bitch down to the ground!
1212
01:05:35,740 --> 01:05:38,072
-Fresh! Energetic!
-I love his rawness!
1213
01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:42,003
Stop critiquing me, okay?
I'm a human being! I'm not a piece of art!
1214
01:05:42,313 --> 01:05:44,144
-Yes, you are.
-Bravo!
1215
01:05:44,482 --> 01:05:47,178
I'm a peacock flying into a rainbow!
1216
01:05:47,852 --> 01:05:49,945
Yes! Yes!
1217
01:05:59,564 --> 01:06:02,158
These braised short ribs taste
like a dog's asshole.
1218
01:06:02,267 --> 01:06:03,962
-Sweetie.
-You know what, I'm sitting here thinking,
1219
01:06:04,069 --> 01:06:07,232
"Who in the world would slow roast
a dog's asshole
1220
01:06:07,305 --> 01:06:09,273
"and serve it to their husband?"
1221
01:06:09,340 --> 01:06:12,776
-You would.
-You are being awful. What's wrong?
1222
01:06:12,844 --> 01:06:17,577
-Captain took us off the case.
-I'm sorry.
1223
01:06:18,483 --> 01:06:23,318
I told Terry about my dark days in college,
and it brought up some feelings.
1224
01:06:23,721 --> 01:06:28,954
Well, honeydick, that was a long time ago.
You're not that same person you were.
1225
01:06:29,060 --> 01:06:32,496
No, you don't get it.
There is a darkness inside of me.
1226
01:06:32,597 --> 01:06:35,589
It wants to get out. It wants to walk around.
1227
01:06:35,667 --> 01:06:38,795
It wants some walking around money,
and it wants to buy some shoes.
1228
01:06:38,903 --> 01:06:43,431
And it wants to walk up with the people
and say, "Hey, Gator don't play no shit."
1229
01:06:43,775 --> 01:06:45,140
-You feel me?
-Yeah.
1230
01:06:45,243 --> 01:06:49,304
Gator never been about that,
never been about playing no shit.
1231
01:06:52,350 --> 01:06:54,341
-Sweetie, I'm sorry.
-It's okay.
1232
01:06:54,986 --> 01:06:58,353
-I just...
-Remember that night we met?
1233
01:06:59,124 --> 01:07:03,788
The attending physician told me,
"We got a drugged-out pimp in the back."
1234
01:07:04,529 --> 01:07:07,965
And I went back there,
and I pulled open that curtain,
1235
01:07:08,032 --> 01:07:09,590
and I saw you.
1236
01:07:10,335 --> 01:07:12,667
You were weak, scared,
1237
01:07:13,238 --> 01:07:17,334
ass up, inflamed, crying.
1238
01:07:17,442 --> 01:07:22,539
At that moment, I knew.
"Hey, he's no pimp. Pimps don't cry."
1239
01:07:23,515 --> 01:07:28,009
Pimps don't cty
1240
01:07:29,317 --> 01:07:31,842
Pimps don't cty
1241
01:07:31,953 --> 01:07:34,854
No, they don't
1242
01:07:35,223 --> 01:07:38,192
They don't shed a teat
1243
01:07:38,894 --> 01:07:44,230
Pimps don't cty
1244
01:07:44,499 --> 01:07:46,399
They nevet shed a teat
1245
01:07:51,306 --> 01:07:54,742
Come lay with me.
Be safe, and let's make love. Come on.
1246
01:07:54,843 --> 01:07:57,243
Every time you say, "Be safe,"
it tears me apart.
1247
01:07:57,345 --> 01:07:59,905
You gotta let me be who I'm gonna be.
1248
01:08:01,516 --> 01:08:04,007
Allen, I'm pregnant.
1249
01:08:04,886 --> 01:08:06,251
Whose baby is that?
1250
01:08:06,354 --> 01:08:09,812
Who's the man who did that to you?
Gator's bitches better be using jimmies!
1251
01:08:11,660 --> 01:08:14,720
I'm sorry. See, that's what I'm talking about.
1252
01:08:14,829 --> 01:08:16,421
Oh, my God.
1253
01:08:18,333 --> 01:08:19,732
You need to leave.
1254
01:08:19,834 --> 01:08:23,429
Get out! Get out, Allen! Get out!
1255
01:08:40,221 --> 01:08:41,119
Hey.
1256
01:08:42,388 --> 01:08:44,913
Hey. What are you doing here?
1257
01:08:47,393 --> 01:08:52,456
Come here when I have lady troubles,
which means I come here about every night.
1258
01:08:52,565 --> 01:08:54,590
What are you doing here?
1259
01:08:55,768 --> 01:08:58,259
Sheila and I got into it tonight.
1260
01:08:59,138 --> 01:09:01,436
She threw me out.
1261
01:09:02,475 --> 01:09:05,535
Well, you're not a cop till your wife
throws you out of the house, partner.
1262
01:09:05,611 --> 01:09:09,445
Does it bother you that the Castien robbers
only took 74 grand in diamonds?
1263
01:09:09,782 --> 01:09:12,250
They're junkies. Who cares? I mean...
1264
01:09:12,318 --> 01:09:16,118
I don't know if a junkie can go down
a 20-story zipline, though.
1265
01:09:16,222 --> 01:09:17,120
How you fellas doing?
1266
01:09:18,791 --> 01:09:21,954
We're about to have us a little screw party
in this red Prius over here
1267
01:09:22,061 --> 01:09:23,255
if you wanna join us.
1268
01:09:23,362 --> 01:09:25,421
You're not going
anywhere near that Prius, okay?
1269
01:09:25,765 --> 01:09:28,632
Here's what we're talking about.
We're talking about a bunch of hobos
1270
01:09:29,068 --> 01:09:31,002
with fingers in each other's pooper
1271
01:09:31,070 --> 01:09:33,868
in a stranger's car
with talk radio playing really loud.
1272
01:09:33,939 --> 01:09:35,099
It's gonna be a nice evening.
1273
01:09:35,474 --> 01:09:37,772
Well, we're not participating in that.
We have no interest.
1274
01:09:37,977 --> 01:09:39,069
Let me rephrase it.
1275
01:09:39,478 --> 01:09:42,311
We got a jar of old mustard,
and we got a poodle,
1276
01:09:42,515 --> 01:09:45,678
and we're just get in there
and we're gonna put some D's in some A's.
1277
01:09:46,018 --> 01:09:47,849
Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the boys?
1278
01:09:47,920 --> 01:09:50,445
-How do you know who we are?
-You left a note in that car.
1279
01:09:50,556 --> 01:09:53,116
-Police, shithead.
-He's a copper. We gotta go. Come on!
1280
01:09:53,225 --> 01:09:55,056
Hey! Goose it, boys! They're cops!
1281
01:09:55,528 --> 01:09:57,291
Rub your dicks on the car
as you're running away!
1282
01:09:57,363 --> 01:09:59,695
You turned my beautiful Prius
into a nightmare!
1283
01:09:59,799 --> 01:10:03,462
We are gonna have sex in your car!
It will happen again!
1284
01:10:05,604 --> 01:10:07,299
I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight.
1285
01:10:07,373 --> 01:10:09,170
Fortunately, I know
where you're gonna be drinking.
1286
01:10:09,275 --> 01:10:11,607
Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on.
1287
01:10:12,144 --> 01:10:13,839
-No, I already have a beer.
-No, no, no, no.
1288
01:10:14,180 --> 01:10:16,512
I'm talking about doing
some serious drinking.
1289
01:10:16,615 --> 01:10:17,946
Drinking with Terry Hoitz.
1290
01:11:06,832 --> 01:11:08,697
This sucks, man.
Work our ass off on this case,
1291
01:11:08,768 --> 01:11:10,360
now we gotta hand over
all of our evidence?
1292
01:11:10,436 --> 01:11:11,698
Yeah, it's not right.
1293
01:11:11,771 --> 01:11:13,830
Oh, my God, I'm hungover.
1294
01:11:16,175 --> 01:11:16,971
So, you guys are law enforcement?
1295
01:11:17,643 --> 01:11:19,577
Yeah, we're an independent
government agency who,
1296
01:11:19,645 --> 01:11:21,545
along with the FBl and the Federal Reserve,
1297
01:11:21,614 --> 01:11:23,775
regulate the stock market
and corporate fraud.
1298
01:11:24,116 --> 01:11:26,744
And the Federal Reserve is a prison?
1299
01:11:26,986 --> 01:11:29,750
No, basically, it's a held-for-profit bank
that sets interest rates
1300
01:11:29,822 --> 01:11:30,948
and loans money to other banks.
1301
01:11:31,786 --> 01:11:33,981
-ls that a wastebasket?
-Yeah, right there.
1302
01:11:34,088 --> 01:11:35,453
Thank you.
1303
01:11:37,158 --> 01:11:40,491
-You all right?
-Holy hell!
1304
01:11:42,130 --> 01:11:43,825
I'm so sorry.
1305
01:11:44,432 --> 01:11:45,797
I got so drunk last night.
1306
01:11:45,900 --> 01:11:49,768
I think I thought a tube of toothpaste
was astronaut food.
1307
01:11:50,839 --> 01:11:52,636
Come on in, fellas.
1308
01:11:53,741 --> 01:11:55,936
You gotta be kidding me.
You're Ershon's lawyer.
1309
01:11:56,010 --> 01:11:57,773
We're turning over our investigation to you?
1310
01:11:58,179 --> 01:12:00,443
Let me assure you there will be
no conflict of interest
1311
01:12:00,515 --> 01:12:01,982
between me and David Ershon.
1312
01:12:02,083 --> 01:12:06,179
And if this were an actual investigation,
I would immediately recuse myself.
1313
01:12:06,287 --> 01:12:10,519
This is all the evidence we have,
and I truly hope you take this seriously.
1314
01:12:10,625 --> 01:12:11,922
Yes. Very much so.
1315
01:12:11,993 --> 01:12:13,756
From everything I've heard, I understand
1316
01:12:13,828 --> 01:12:17,093
you guys are the best
at these types of investigations.
1317
01:12:17,165 --> 01:12:19,929
Outside of Enron and AlG
1318
01:12:20,001 --> 01:12:21,468
and Bernie Madoff,
1319
01:12:22,103 --> 01:12:24,799
WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers.
1320
01:12:24,873 --> 01:12:26,773
Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective.
1321
01:12:26,841 --> 01:12:28,638
-Would you like a seat, or you're fine?
-No, I'm good.
1322
01:12:28,710 --> 01:12:30,337
Okay. Let me just assure you fellas,
1323
01:12:30,812 --> 01:12:33,303
David Ershon is an upstanding citizen.
1324
01:12:34,048 --> 01:12:35,811
I am playing squash with him
tonight at the club,
1325
01:12:35,884 --> 01:12:36,714
and we're having dinner.
1326
01:12:37,284 --> 01:12:39,377
You listen to me,
you Windsor knot-wearing monkey,
1327
01:12:39,486 --> 01:12:41,545
you play squash with Ershon, right?
1328
01:12:41,655 --> 01:12:44,886
Your kids go to school with his?
How would you know if he's clean or not?
1329
01:12:44,992 --> 01:12:46,653
I will take a look at your evidence,
1330
01:12:46,727 --> 01:12:47,955
and I will take a second look
at the financials.
1331
01:12:48,662 --> 01:12:50,721
And when I come back and bust your ass,
1332
01:12:50,831 --> 01:12:53,322
we're locking David Ershon
in the Federal Reserve!
1333
01:12:53,400 --> 01:12:54,867
He still doesn't understand the concept.
1334
01:13:16,290 --> 01:13:17,814
What are you doing?
1335
01:13:18,359 --> 01:13:21,658
We just handed all of our evidence over
to the bad guy's lawyer!
1336
01:13:21,729 --> 01:13:23,993
Are you a big man, huh?
1337
01:13:24,064 --> 01:13:25,531
-I'm talking to you.
-What?
1338
01:13:25,699 --> 01:13:28,463
You wake up in the morning, you say,
"I'm putting on my big boy pants"?
1339
01:13:28,535 --> 01:13:29,763
"Look, I'm wearing a belt!
1340
01:13:29,870 --> 01:13:31,997
-"I've got big boy pants on!"
-No!
1341
01:13:32,239 --> 01:13:34,002
You borrow a little jacket, you go?
1342
01:13:34,208 --> 01:13:36,267
You take your lunch
'cause you got big boy pants on?
1343
01:13:36,777 --> 01:13:38,608
You got your big boy pants and your snack?
1344
01:13:39,380 --> 01:13:41,007
I could say big, loud things!
1345
01:13:41,515 --> 01:13:42,914
I could be demonstrative!
1346
01:13:43,250 --> 01:13:45,150
-Stop!
-We don't, we don't do this!
1347
01:13:45,252 --> 01:13:47,345
You're scaring the shit out of me, man!
Stop it!
1348
01:13:47,454 --> 01:13:50,651
Is this how you conduct yourself?
In a democracy?
1349
01:13:50,758 --> 01:13:52,419
What the hell are you doing, man?
1350
01:13:52,860 --> 01:13:57,263
I'm so tired of you getting angry
and yelling all the time.
1351
01:13:58,165 --> 01:13:59,826
It's exhausting.
1352
01:14:01,969 --> 01:14:03,834
I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk.
1353
01:14:04,271 --> 01:14:06,762
You wanna know why
I'm so angry all the time?
1354
01:14:06,840 --> 01:14:10,207
'Cause the more I try and do right,
the more I screw things up.
1355
01:14:10,944 --> 01:14:15,972
We've got a possible jumpet
at 3 Wotld Financial Centet, 23td floot.
1356
01:14:16,050 --> 01:14:18,314
All units, fite depattment, en toute.
1357
01:14:18,385 --> 01:14:20,512
-SEC.
-Beaman's office.
1358
01:14:21,088 --> 01:14:22,146
We have to go.
1359
01:14:22,356 --> 01:14:24,119
-But the Captain.
-We have to go, Allen.
1360
01:14:24,191 --> 01:14:28,890
All units, I need a tespondent.
Possible jumpet, 3 Wotld Financial Centet.
1361
01:14:40,039 --> 01:14:42,234
Shit. It's Beaman!
1362
01:14:43,042 --> 01:14:45,875
-He's gotta know something.
-Wesley!
1363
01:14:46,145 --> 01:14:47,976
Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this.
1364
01:14:48,414 --> 01:14:50,507
I took an online class
at University of Phoenix on negotiating.
1365
01:14:51,083 --> 01:14:53,244
I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn.
1366
01:14:53,352 --> 01:14:55,718
-I got no bullhorn.
-Does anyone have a bullhorn?
1367
01:14:55,821 --> 01:14:58,016
-Bullhorn, anyone?
-Truck.
1368
01:14:59,058 --> 01:15:01,049
Police business.
I need to use your PA system.
1369
01:15:01,160 --> 01:15:02,388
Okay, let me turn it on.
1370
01:15:04,329 --> 01:15:07,162
Mt. Beaman? Mt. Don Beaman?
1371
01:15:07,232 --> 01:15:10,429
It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's...
1372
01:15:10,536 --> 01:15:13,369
Look, thete's a lot to live fot in this life.
1373
01:15:13,439 --> 01:15:18,502
A lot of gteat things, like soda pop,
big ftesh can of soda pop.
1374
01:15:18,577 --> 01:15:19,942
They do not care!
1375
01:15:20,045 --> 01:15:22,343
Give me this. I know how to talk to him.
1376
01:15:22,414 --> 01:15:26,077
Listen, we all know you'te a scumbag,
and nobody cates about you.
1377
01:15:26,185 --> 01:15:27,516
Rotten piece of shit.
1378
01:15:27,586 --> 01:15:29,554
That's worse than what I was saying.
1379
01:15:29,955 --> 01:15:31,547
I'm not gonna lie to you, Don.
1380
01:15:31,623 --> 01:15:35,389
People down hete ate statting to mutmut
that you don't have the balls to do it.
1381
01:15:35,761 --> 01:15:37,786
-I don't care!
-Yeah.
1382
01:15:37,896 --> 01:15:40,228
I say you can do it.
1383
01:15:40,966 --> 01:15:44,959
I mean, I don't want you to jump.
I'm just saying you have the capability.
1384
01:15:45,571 --> 01:15:46,629
Look, he's flying!
1385
01:15:52,377 --> 01:15:53,605
Stop that.
1386
01:15:54,379 --> 01:15:56,244
Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over.
1387
01:15:56,315 --> 01:15:59,307
Look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle.
Make sure you get this, all right?
1388
01:16:00,185 --> 01:16:03,052
Detectives, all your work's done here.
You can go.
1389
01:16:03,122 --> 01:16:04,714
What about Ershon targeting the lottery?
1390
01:16:04,790 --> 01:16:08,954
You know why Ershon was calling down
to the lottery offices all those times?
1391
01:16:09,061 --> 01:16:11,052
Because he was hooking up
with the Powerball girl,
1392
01:16:11,130 --> 01:16:13,428
the one on TV with all the numbered balls.
1393
01:16:13,532 --> 01:16:15,693
Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him
last week.
1394
01:16:16,201 --> 01:16:18,032
It was right there in front of you
the whole time.
1395
01:16:18,103 --> 01:16:20,071
-Can't be.
-You guys are getting transferred.
1396
01:16:20,139 --> 01:16:22,266
-What?
-Traffic.
1397
01:16:22,374 --> 01:16:23,466
Yeah, that's right.
1398
01:16:23,575 --> 01:16:27,238
You, you're gonna walk a beat downtown.
You're gonna walk a beat downtown.
1399
01:16:27,312 --> 01:16:29,644
-It's done. No, no. It's done.
-Captain, what are you talking about?
1400
01:16:29,748 --> 01:16:31,613
-Save yourselves some gas.
-Captain!
1401
01:16:32,151 --> 01:16:33,550
Is there an appeal process we can...
1402
01:16:33,619 --> 01:16:36,782
Had to do what you had to do, Captain.
1403
01:16:36,889 --> 01:16:39,084
Wow! That hurt.
1404
01:16:41,226 --> 01:16:43,387
-Excuse me. Where's my car?
-They towed it.
1405
01:16:43,462 --> 01:16:45,930
Couple of homeless people
were messing around in it.
1406
01:16:45,998 --> 01:16:49,661
-That's an official police car.
-Could have fooled me.
1407
01:16:54,806 --> 01:16:56,103
Wow, Mauch was upset, huh?
1408
01:16:56,642 --> 01:16:57,802
Really?
1409
01:16:57,910 --> 01:17:00,276
The only thing I had to be proud of
in my life was being a detective.
1410
01:17:00,345 --> 01:17:02,905
That was all I had. Now it's gone.
1411
01:17:03,649 --> 01:17:06,140
I know. I know. You still got me.
1412
01:17:06,251 --> 01:17:09,778
Don't you get it?
I don't want you, Allen, okay? I never did.
1413
01:17:09,855 --> 01:17:12,085
I told you that scaffolding violation
was dogshit.
1414
01:17:12,424 --> 01:17:14,517
I can't believe you still doubt me
after everything we've seen.
1415
01:17:14,626 --> 01:17:19,154
It's a real case, and I'm a real cop.
We just got the wrong target for Ershon.
1416
01:17:19,264 --> 01:17:21,494
-You carry a rape whistle.
-This is real cop work.
1417
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:24,433
There is nothing about you
that makes a man a man, okay?
1418
01:17:24,503 --> 01:17:27,939
You got no gun, no car, no wife,
and now you got no partner.
1419
01:17:28,006 --> 01:17:29,598
Leave me alone.
1420
01:17:30,209 --> 01:17:31,699
A mutt case.
1421
01:17:31,810 --> 01:17:34,335
Terry, I am a cop,
for your information, okay?
1422
01:17:34,446 --> 01:17:36,607
A btoken pattnetship.
1423
01:17:36,682 --> 01:17:37,808
I'm a cop!
1424
01:17:37,883 --> 01:17:41,546
And getting busted down
to a shitty assignment.
1425
01:17:41,653 --> 01:17:44,713
Allen and Tetty hit the ttifecta.
1426
01:17:47,492 --> 01:17:50,552
But sometimes
when you get yout ass kicked,
1427
01:17:51,797 --> 01:17:54,493
that's when you find out what's teal...
1428
01:17:56,835 --> 01:17:58,860
...and what needs doing.
1429
01:18:04,810 --> 01:18:06,869
Whethet it's ditecting ttaffic...
1430
01:18:06,979 --> 01:18:08,003
Come on!
1431
01:18:08,480 --> 01:18:11,916
...ot ctacking a multibillion dollat ftaud.
1432
01:18:23,395 --> 01:18:25,488
-Do you work here?
-Yeah, I do.
1433
01:18:25,564 --> 01:18:28,397
The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien
down there.
1434
01:18:28,500 --> 01:18:30,058
They also did damage to your office?
1435
01:18:30,168 --> 01:18:32,693
Some police officers came by
and sealed it off.
1436
01:18:32,771 --> 01:18:34,102
Do you recall what they looked like?
1437
01:18:34,206 --> 01:18:36,902
One of them had an Australian accent.
1438
01:18:37,442 --> 01:18:41,242
You don't happen to do any business
for the state lottery, do you?
1439
01:18:41,346 --> 01:18:44,713
No. Our main client is Lendl Global.
1440
01:18:44,783 --> 01:18:46,410
Can I ask what this is about?
1441
01:18:59,865 --> 01:19:02,095
Gator needs his gat, you punkass bitch!
1442
01:19:11,476 --> 01:19:13,569
'Cause that's what a teal cop is.
1443
01:19:13,645 --> 01:19:16,136
No, I didn't say "Lock her up."
I never said, "Lock her up."
1444
01:19:16,248 --> 01:19:19,046
A guy who does what needs to be done.
1445
01:19:19,117 --> 01:19:23,076
A guy who knows how to use his datk side
fot good.
1446
01:19:23,155 --> 01:19:24,782
And then you move to Flotida.
1447
01:19:34,099 --> 01:19:35,225
One, two, three, attack!
1448
01:19:37,936 --> 01:19:39,130
Terry, it's me.
1449
01:19:39,237 --> 01:19:41,467
-Tap out. Tap out.
-It's me, Allen.
1450
01:19:41,573 --> 01:19:43,131
Are you tapping out,
or are you hitting me in the face?
1451
01:19:43,241 --> 01:19:44,902
I'm tapping out!
1452
01:19:45,777 --> 01:19:48,803
You crazy? What are you doing, man?
1453
01:19:48,914 --> 01:19:50,347
-They might be watching us.
-Could've killed you.
1454
01:19:50,449 --> 01:19:51,575
-Turn out the lights.
-What?
1455
01:19:51,650 --> 01:19:52,742
-They could be watching us.
-Who?
1456
01:19:53,085 --> 01:19:55,610
I found some big information, okay?
1457
01:19:55,687 --> 01:19:58,815
-About what?
-Some scary shit, Terry. This is big.
1458
01:19:59,124 --> 01:20:01,922
How'd you get in here?
This place is foolproof.
1459
01:20:01,993 --> 01:20:04,461
-We can't be too careful.
-What are you talking about?
1460
01:20:04,529 --> 01:20:07,692
-This place might be bugged.
-There's no bugs in here.
1461
01:20:11,970 --> 01:20:14,962
First off, I missed you.
1462
01:20:15,040 --> 01:20:17,838
-What's going on?
-Did you hear what I said?
1463
01:20:17,943 --> 01:20:21,936
-Fine, I kind of missed you, too.
-Thank you.
1464
01:20:22,013 --> 01:20:26,313
Okay. I found out whose losses
Ershon has to cover.
1465
01:20:26,385 --> 01:20:28,683
-It's Lendl Global.
-What?
1466
01:20:28,787 --> 01:20:31,312
Lendl staged the Castien robbery
as a distraction
1467
01:20:31,390 --> 01:20:34,382
so they could break into
their own accounting firm next door.
1468
01:20:34,493 --> 01:20:37,690
They then altered all the records
to cover the losses
1469
01:20:37,796 --> 01:20:40,560
that Ershon had cost them
through all of his bad investments.
1470
01:20:40,799 --> 01:20:44,132
You're not supposed to be doing this.
You're supposed to be walking the beat.
1471
01:20:44,202 --> 01:20:46,796
I know. Pretty tricky, though, huh?
1472
01:20:47,305 --> 01:20:49,330
This is bad, Allen. This is bad.
1473
01:20:49,408 --> 01:20:51,876
No wonder the captain wanted us
to stay out of this.
1474
01:20:51,977 --> 01:20:54,070
Yeah, I bet
Beaman started asking questions.
1475
01:20:54,179 --> 01:20:56,147
-That's why they killed him.
-Man.
1476
01:20:56,214 --> 01:20:57,374
Here's the other thing.
1477
01:20:57,482 --> 01:20:59,473
Tomorrow, there's a massive
business deal going down.
1478
01:20:59,684 --> 01:21:01,049
Ershon's leading it.
1479
01:21:01,153 --> 01:21:04,020
I still can't figure out who the poor sucker is
they're making the deal with,
1480
01:21:04,089 --> 01:21:05,249
but we gotta stop it.
1481
01:21:05,357 --> 01:21:07,018
It's time to let the peacock fly.
1482
01:21:08,059 --> 01:21:09,924
I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do.
1483
01:21:10,362 --> 01:21:12,489
So do l. We're cops.
1484
01:21:12,564 --> 01:21:17,092
No. I like what I do now.
I like working traffic. It's a great gig.
1485
01:21:17,202 --> 01:21:18,226
What?
1486
01:21:18,837 --> 01:21:22,603
I like working traffic. I'm not going with you.
1487
01:21:22,707 --> 01:21:25,198
What is this traffic bullshit?
1488
01:21:29,014 --> 01:21:32,541
-What are you talking about?
-I'm talking about my life.
1489
01:21:32,617 --> 01:21:35,347
The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue?
It hums.
1490
01:21:35,420 --> 01:21:39,117
It's Terry's intersection.
And the traffic guys? They're good guys.
1491
01:21:39,224 --> 01:21:42,250
There's this one guy, Phillip?
He can pee in the urinal from 20 feet.
1492
01:21:42,360 --> 01:21:43,520
You've gotta see it, Allen. You've got to.
1493
01:21:43,595 --> 01:21:46,223
What happened to you?
What happened to this being our time?
1494
01:21:46,531 --> 01:21:48,692
No way, Allen. I'm out. I'm done.
1495
01:21:49,935 --> 01:21:52,802
-Get in the car.
-Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden.
1496
01:21:54,372 --> 01:21:58,206
-Apartment pop. Now get in the car.
-You're not gonna shoot me.
1497
01:21:58,276 --> 01:22:00,801
Okay, I'll be honest. This is only
the second time I've ever fired this.
1498
01:22:01,046 --> 01:22:02,240
So stop pointing it at me.
1499
01:22:02,314 --> 01:22:06,375
Look, tomorrow morning,
all I know is I'm going to Mauch, all right?
1500
01:22:06,618 --> 01:22:07,778
For what? He doesn't care.
1501
01:22:07,886 --> 01:22:11,049
He's been dodging this case for too long
and I want answers.
1502
01:22:11,122 --> 01:22:13,386
I want him to look me in the eye
and tell me why.
1503
01:22:13,458 --> 01:22:16,256
Turn on the news, man. Nobody cares.
1504
01:22:16,928 --> 01:22:18,293
I hope I'm not alone.
1505
01:22:19,097 --> 01:22:21,622
Hope you bring it.
1506
01:22:23,335 --> 01:22:25,462
We got a big day out there. Big one.
1507
01:22:25,570 --> 01:22:28,061
We got a full moon.
People are gonna be amped, all right?
1508
01:22:28,440 --> 01:22:30,931
Let's see what we got on hot tips, all right?
1509
01:22:32,477 --> 01:22:33,569
The new bathmats are in.
1510
01:22:36,414 --> 01:22:40,612
One more thing.
We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights.
1511
01:22:40,685 --> 01:22:44,177
Jeez, I'm sorry. That's from my other job.
Ignore that. Forget that.
1512
01:22:44,289 --> 01:22:45,449
Well, don't ignore it.
1513
01:22:45,524 --> 01:22:48,755
If you live in Crown Heights,
you know, walk in pairs.
1514
01:22:48,827 --> 01:22:53,161
Gene Mauch to kitchen accessoties.
Gene Mauch to kitchen accessoties.
1515
01:22:53,265 --> 01:22:56,860
I gotta go. Go get 'em.
Let's be careful out there.
1516
01:22:58,937 --> 01:23:00,097
The oak.
1517
01:23:00,171 --> 01:23:03,698
I like to keep the oak together
and the maple separately, okay?
1518
01:23:03,808 --> 01:23:04,866
And these chopping boards?
1519
01:23:05,143 --> 01:23:06,201
Hey, Captain.
1520
01:23:07,646 --> 01:23:10,171
Hey, Allen. Hey, how you doing?
1521
01:23:10,282 --> 01:23:12,045
What are you doing here?
Are you here for the bathmats?
1522
01:23:12,551 --> 01:23:16,214
-I need you to be straight with me.
-Straight with us.
1523
01:23:16,321 --> 01:23:19,017
Hey, Terry. Look at this.
1524
01:23:19,124 --> 01:23:22,787
-I thought you were working traffic today.
-Let them block the box.
1525
01:23:23,194 --> 01:23:26,652
-Besides, partners' code, right?
-Thanks.
1526
01:23:28,199 --> 01:23:30,793
Hey, why have you worked your ass off
trying to kill this case?
1527
01:23:32,237 --> 01:23:35,331
All right, fine.
I'm gonna tell you guys something.
1528
01:23:35,407 --> 01:23:38,706
You really went into deep water on this one.
You really went in deep.
1529
01:23:38,810 --> 01:23:40,744
Ershon's connected to all the higher ups,
1530
01:23:40,845 --> 01:23:43,712
and I gotta save
what little ass I have left, okay?
1531
01:23:44,349 --> 01:23:46,510
You keep hiding from shit in the world,
1532
01:23:46,585 --> 01:23:48,849
and eventually the world
comes to your front door.
1533
01:23:49,321 --> 01:23:51,551
-Nice.
-That's very nice.
1534
01:23:51,656 --> 01:23:53,214
I heard it in an episode
of Touched By An Angel.
1535
01:23:53,758 --> 01:23:57,751
You keep this thing real quiet,
and you make sure you have real evidence,
1536
01:23:57,862 --> 01:23:59,420
and maybe I'll see what I can do.
1537
01:23:59,531 --> 01:24:00,725
But if you make a lot of noise
1538
01:24:00,832 --> 01:24:03,995
and you attract the media attention,
and you bring the DA in on this,
1539
01:24:04,069 --> 01:24:05,593
I am out, okay?
1540
01:24:05,737 --> 01:24:07,034
Yeah, we'll go in there like church mice.
1541
01:24:07,105 --> 01:24:11,508
But there's one case,
one case in a career where you go all in.
1542
01:24:11,576 --> 01:24:12,702
This is it.
1543
01:24:13,278 --> 01:24:16,611
All right. Then you do us proud.
1544
01:24:17,115 --> 01:24:18,412
'Cause I don't want no scrubs.
1545
01:24:19,117 --> 01:24:21,677
-Really?
-No.
1546
01:24:21,753 --> 01:24:25,086
-You're not aware that's a TLC song?
-I have no idea what you're talking about.
1547
01:24:25,357 --> 01:24:26,756
-Second time.
-You said chasing waterfalls,
1548
01:24:26,858 --> 01:24:28,018
now you're saying you don't want no scrubs.
1549
01:24:28,093 --> 01:24:29,890
-I don't even understand the reference.
-It's like a tic.
1550
01:24:29,961 --> 01:24:31,087
I have no idea what you're talking about.
1551
01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:33,460
Remember, this thing gets messy,
we never talked.
1552
01:24:33,898 --> 01:24:35,593
-You can trust us.
-Real quiet.
1553
01:24:35,700 --> 01:24:37,964
You gotta creep. Creep.
1554
01:24:38,236 --> 01:24:39,533
Come on.
1555
01:24:40,472 --> 01:24:42,963
You don't say "Creep-creep"
unless you're quoting TLC.
1556
01:24:43,241 --> 01:24:44,606
Hey, guys.
1557
01:24:45,577 --> 01:24:47,442
You know Danson and Highsmith
were not good cops, right?
1558
01:24:48,113 --> 01:24:49,910
Yeah, I guess we kind of knew that,
but it's a drag.
1559
01:24:49,981 --> 01:24:51,881
I mean, at a certain point,
who's left to be a hero?
1560
01:24:52,217 --> 01:24:55,380
Not to be corny, maybe it's you guys.
1561
01:24:56,821 --> 01:24:58,379
You ready?
1562
01:24:58,456 --> 01:25:00,117
-Yeah.
-Let's go.
1563
01:25:08,633 --> 01:25:10,999
-No, but the highlights are great.
-Thank you.
1564
01:25:11,102 --> 01:25:13,161
-Sexy but serious.
-Thank you.
1565
01:25:13,271 --> 01:25:14,636
Excuse me.
1566
01:25:15,640 --> 01:25:18,302
Who the hell are all these people?
I was only expecting one man.
1567
01:25:18,410 --> 01:25:22,904
You know, they're just some people
I owe money to who wanted to be here.
1568
01:25:22,981 --> 01:25:24,073
Who are they?
1569
01:25:25,583 --> 01:25:30,282
Well, they are some Chechen patriots,
entrepreneurs.
1570
01:25:30,355 --> 01:25:36,191
And the black chaps
are some businessmen from Nigeria.
1571
01:25:36,294 --> 01:25:38,489
You owe money
to the Nigerians and Chechens?
1572
01:25:38,596 --> 01:25:40,086
Yes. Yes, I do.
1573
01:25:40,165 --> 01:25:43,328
-You're a piece of work.
-Thank you.
1574
01:25:43,501 --> 01:25:46,868
Probably best to get started.
1575
01:25:47,305 --> 01:25:50,763
This is good, baby.
We're in the game, we know the score.
1576
01:25:50,842 --> 01:25:53,777
The only thing that bugs me is
we still don't know who Ershon's targeting.
1577
01:25:53,845 --> 01:25:57,941
-ls it the lotto? Who is it?
-Who cares? Some rich prick.
1578
01:25:58,016 --> 01:26:03,977
I have to tell you,
I am tremendously excited by this deal.
1579
01:26:04,055 --> 01:26:06,523
And I can assure you
that every dime of your money
1580
01:26:06,624 --> 01:26:09,650
will be invested with the utmost diligence.
1581
01:26:09,728 --> 01:26:11,696
Your rates of return are really exciting.
1582
01:26:11,796 --> 01:26:13,320
We think our members
are gonna be just thrilled.
1583
01:26:13,398 --> 01:26:17,232
Yeah. I mean, we've averaged,
like, 18% over the last 10 years.
1584
01:26:18,336 --> 01:26:20,531
All right.
Quiet as a church mouse, in and out.
1585
01:26:20,638 --> 01:26:22,868
I can feel that tingling in my balls
you were talking about.
1586
01:26:22,974 --> 01:26:24,032
Beautiful.
1587
01:26:24,142 --> 01:26:25,541
All right, listen up.
1588
01:26:25,643 --> 01:26:28,544
I am Detective Gamble.
This is Detective Hoitz.
1589
01:26:28,646 --> 01:26:30,807
We need your cooperation.
1590
01:26:30,882 --> 01:26:32,349
David Ershon.
1591
01:26:32,417 --> 01:26:34,749
You're under arrest for fraud, embezzlement,
1592
01:26:34,853 --> 01:26:36,548
and in connection
to the murder of Don Beaman.
1593
01:26:37,055 --> 01:26:38,488
This is a bad idea.
1594
01:26:38,990 --> 01:26:40,355
Hey, guys.
1595
01:26:41,926 --> 01:26:44,394
Bob? What are you doing here?
1596
01:26:44,863 --> 01:26:46,194
I'm investing.
1597
01:26:46,264 --> 01:26:48,698
Do you remember we talked about
that proxy vote a while back?
1598
01:26:48,767 --> 01:26:50,394
-This is what it was for.
-Holy shit.
1599
01:26:50,502 --> 01:26:53,027
It's a more aggressive investment strategy
for the pension.
1600
01:26:53,104 --> 01:26:57,336
Allen! We're the suckers.
They're targeting the police pension fund.
1601
01:27:03,681 --> 01:27:07,310
Gentlemen, you're here illegally
and without a warrant.
1602
01:27:08,219 --> 01:27:09,686
We are within our rights to take action.
1603
01:28:08,077 --> 01:28:09,874
So much for quiet as church mice!
1604
01:28:10,446 --> 01:28:11,538
Go!
1605
01:28:16,686 --> 01:28:18,051
Who the hell are those guys?
1606
01:28:18,120 --> 01:28:21,180
Gentlemen, I can get you
obstructed view tickets for Rock of Ages.
1607
01:28:21,257 --> 01:28:25,216
Even I admit that's not very tempting,
but I'm not made of tickets, God damn it!
1608
01:28:25,294 --> 01:28:27,262
-Get in the front!
-How do you start this freaking thing?
1609
01:28:27,530 --> 01:28:28,519
Go on! Go!
1610
01:28:29,265 --> 01:28:30,254
-Shit!
-Go!
1611
01:28:32,735 --> 01:28:33,724
Oh, my...
1612
01:28:35,137 --> 01:28:38,004
Jeanie! Get over here!
You, go get the bloody car!
1613
01:29:24,587 --> 01:29:25,576
Hold the wheel!
1614
01:29:31,294 --> 01:29:33,660
-Open the back!
-I got it. I got it!
1615
01:29:41,671 --> 01:29:44,606
They're gonna kill me.
And then they will kill you.
1616
01:29:44,707 --> 01:29:47,107
-Well, I'm gonna kill you first!
-And then they will kill me.
1617
01:29:47,209 --> 01:29:50,235
We have two togue police officets.
They ate atmed and dangetous,
1618
01:29:50,346 --> 01:29:52,007
-and holding David Etshon hostage.
-Stupid pricks!
1619
01:29:52,081 --> 01:29:55,573
-It's us, we're good guys!
-Exactly. They're the good guys.
1620
01:29:55,685 --> 01:29:57,846
Where do we go? Where do we go?
1621
01:29:57,920 --> 01:30:00,582
I have a small apartment.
No one knows about it.
1622
01:30:00,690 --> 01:30:03,386
I use it mainly for my parents
and prostitutes.
1623
01:30:03,459 --> 01:30:05,552
Not at the same time. That would be wrong.
1624
01:30:08,798 --> 01:30:11,494
Let's hear it from the top, every detail.
1625
01:30:12,068 --> 01:30:16,698
I think the best way to tell the story
is by starting at the end, briefly,
1626
01:30:16,772 --> 01:30:21,766
then going back to the beginning,
and then periodically returning to the end,
1627
01:30:21,877 --> 01:30:24,937
maybe giving different characters'
perspectives throughout.
1628
01:30:25,047 --> 01:30:28,346
Just to give it a bit of dynamism,
otherwise, it's just sort of a linear story.
1629
01:30:28,417 --> 01:30:29,577
Just tell us what happened.
1630
01:30:29,685 --> 01:30:32,415
I lost a bunch of money from some people
and now they want it back.
1631
01:30:32,755 --> 01:30:34,052
What about Don Beaman?
1632
01:30:34,123 --> 01:30:36,614
Beaman knew
that I had falsified my financials,
1633
01:30:36,726 --> 01:30:39,024
so they sent down Wesley
to try and keep him quiet.
1634
01:30:39,726 --> 01:30:41,591
He forced him at gunpoint
to drink a bunch of gin
1635
01:30:41,694 --> 01:30:43,719
and then forced him onto the ledge.
1636
01:30:43,796 --> 01:30:45,525
It was only a matter of time before he fell.
1637
01:30:45,598 --> 01:30:49,034
At least we stopped you
from getting the pension fund.
1638
01:30:49,102 --> 01:30:52,367
Well, but, yeah, but you didn't.
It's already in my account.
1639
01:30:52,438 --> 01:30:55,032
By 9:00 in the morning,
it goes into the Lendl equity fund
1640
01:30:55,108 --> 01:30:57,804
and from there it's transferred
to a dozen offshore accounts.
1641
01:30:57,911 --> 01:30:59,435
By 9:01, it's gone.
1642
01:30:59,546 --> 01:31:02,538
-Well, what if we stop the transfer?
-But you can't. I mean, there's a...
1643
01:31:02,615 --> 01:31:05,083
What if we stop the transfer?
1644
01:31:05,151 --> 01:31:08,052
You'd have to be at Endemic Bank
for 9:00 exactly,
1645
01:31:08,121 --> 01:31:10,589
find the clerk,
get the routing number.
1646
01:31:10,657 --> 01:31:11,715
We gotta stop it.
1647
01:31:11,791 --> 01:31:12,985
There's no way.
1648
01:31:13,092 --> 01:31:16,721
Every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew,
they'll all be after us.
1649
01:31:16,796 --> 01:31:20,892
You could let me go,
and I'll give you $10 million each.
1650
01:31:21,501 --> 01:31:24,561
-It's not a bribe.
-Of course it's a bribe.
1651
01:31:24,637 --> 01:31:26,764
You're offering to pay us money
to not do our job.
1652
01:31:28,841 --> 01:31:30,103
It's not a bribe.
1653
01:31:30,743 --> 01:31:33,143
We hang low here tonight.
Nobody knows about this place.
1654
01:31:33,246 --> 01:31:34,975
We'll be safe. And tomorrow, we hit it.
1655
01:31:35,748 --> 01:31:37,272
First things first, I gotta go see Sheila.
1656
01:31:37,350 --> 01:31:38,749
No way, it's too dangerous.
1657
01:31:38,851 --> 01:31:41,149
Look, Terry, we don't know
what's gonna happen to us tomorrow,
1658
01:31:41,254 --> 01:31:44,781
but tonight,
I need to make things right with Sheila.
1659
01:31:45,291 --> 01:31:47,191
All right, go. Go. Be careful.
1660
01:31:47,660 --> 01:31:49,287
Thanks, I will.
1661
01:31:50,129 --> 01:31:51,357
Will you say hi to Sheila for me?
1662
01:31:51,531 --> 01:31:53,294
-Okay.
-Okay.
1663
01:31:53,366 --> 01:31:56,335
Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you.
1664
01:31:56,436 --> 01:31:57,869
He wants to make sure you know
1665
01:31:57,971 --> 01:32:00,337
that he'll be there for you
if anything happens.
1666
01:32:00,440 --> 01:32:02,499
-Yeah.
-Drop of a hat, I'm there.
1667
01:32:02,709 --> 01:32:04,700
Look, it's starting to get a little weird, man.
1668
01:32:04,811 --> 01:32:07,712
If something happens to you,
I need to be there to take care of her.
1669
01:32:07,814 --> 01:32:10,715
All of her wants, her needs,
and desires are now my responsibility.
1670
01:32:10,817 --> 01:32:12,978
Why do you say it
like it's a predetermined thing?
1671
01:32:13,186 --> 01:32:14,551
Just go, man.
1672
01:32:15,288 --> 01:32:16,778
Okay. Thanks.
1673
01:32:17,724 --> 01:32:18,816
Go.
1674
01:32:22,795 --> 01:32:23,955
Janeco Gallery.
1675
01:32:24,897 --> 01:32:26,990
Francine, it's Terry. Please don't hang up.
1676
01:32:37,710 --> 01:32:38,870
Please pick up.
1677
01:32:39,746 --> 01:32:40,906
Hello.
1678
01:32:41,014 --> 01:32:44,177
Hey, sweetie.
I was ptaying you'd be at yout mom's house.
1679
01:32:44,250 --> 01:32:47,515
You know what, I can't talk anymore.
I think the phone's being tapped.
1680
01:32:47,754 --> 01:32:50,245
Baby, where are you? I wanna see you.
1681
01:32:50,356 --> 01:32:52,517
I'm near the place where we did it
three Halloweens ago.
1682
01:32:52,592 --> 01:32:53,650
Do you remember?
1683
01:32:54,594 --> 01:32:55,993
Okay, yeah, I got it.
1684
01:32:56,062 --> 01:32:59,691
I'm just warning you, though. Watch out.
I think they're watching the house.
1685
01:32:59,766 --> 01:33:02,360
Don't wotty, sweetie.
I think I have a way of talking to you.
1686
01:33:02,902 --> 01:33:06,838
I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come.
I mean...
1687
01:33:08,007 --> 01:33:11,443
After all those years,
after the restraining order.
1688
01:33:11,544 --> 01:33:14,911
I was worried I might not see you again.
1689
01:33:15,014 --> 01:33:16,606
There's some
very dangerous people after him,
1690
01:33:16,716 --> 01:33:17,740
and now they're after us.
1691
01:33:20,953 --> 01:33:22,352
It's just the old lady.
1692
01:33:27,925 --> 01:33:29,358
Hello, Allen.
1693
01:33:29,427 --> 01:33:32,021
Hello, Mama Ramos.
What are you doing out here?
1694
01:33:32,096 --> 01:33:35,190
Sheila said she doesn't know what happened
and she wants you back.
1695
01:33:36,534 --> 01:33:38,399
-She also says...
-Yes.
1696
01:33:38,469 --> 01:33:42,303
...she wants you on top of her,
holding her hair,
1697
01:33:42,406 --> 01:33:44,431
and riding her like a bucking bronco
1698
01:33:45,076 --> 01:33:48,705
while she sucks your thumb and says,
"Mommy likey."
1699
01:33:49,547 --> 01:33:51,105
You, you tell your daughter...
1700
01:33:51,482 --> 01:33:53,916
He said he'll always love you.
1701
01:33:53,985 --> 01:33:56,647
And he's so happy
that you're having his child.
1702
01:33:56,754 --> 01:33:57,914
Allen.
1703
01:33:57,989 --> 01:33:59,820
He also says that
1704
01:33:59,924 --> 01:34:03,951
he wants you to stare into each other's eyes
without blinking while you do it.
1705
01:34:04,595 --> 01:34:07,120
-I love when we do that, Mom.
-And then afterward,
1706
01:34:07,198 --> 01:34:09,166
Iick the sex off each other.
1707
01:34:11,035 --> 01:34:12,935
I don't wanna do this.
1708
01:34:14,338 --> 01:34:17,739
-You say things that are too personal.
-Okay, but just one more thing.
1709
01:34:18,075 --> 01:34:20,009
She said she loves you,
1710
01:34:20,077 --> 01:34:23,171
and wants to hold your hand
and have iced tea with you.
1711
01:34:23,848 --> 01:34:26,373
Come on. That's not all she said.
1712
01:34:26,851 --> 01:34:28,045
No.
1713
01:34:29,120 --> 01:34:32,715
-She says other things, but I don't want...
-Please, please, please.
1714
01:34:32,790 --> 01:34:35,054
You don't realize, I may be killed tomorrow.
1715
01:34:35,526 --> 01:34:36,720
Okay.
1716
01:34:39,263 --> 01:34:44,132
She says she wants to unplug all the clocks
and the phones
1717
01:34:44,201 --> 01:34:47,432
-and have a three-day F marathon.
-That's more like it. Yeah.
1718
01:34:47,738 --> 01:34:52,869
She wants to walk wrong for a week
because you guys F'd so hard.
1719
01:34:52,944 --> 01:34:54,172
That's just lovely.
1720
01:34:54,578 --> 01:34:58,207
No more! He says things I can't say.
1721
01:34:58,282 --> 01:35:04,050
It involves a mannequin hand
and an electric shaver taped to a golf club.
1722
01:35:12,596 --> 01:35:13,654
Now what'd she say?
1723
01:35:16,133 --> 01:35:17,896
She says she loves you.
1724
01:35:24,141 --> 01:35:26,473
I'm so sorry about everything.
1725
01:35:29,610 --> 01:35:32,780
And I just had to come here tonight
to tell you that I love you.
1726
01:35:32,780 --> 01:35:35,749
And the reason why I act like
you're a plain wife is that
1727
01:35:37,418 --> 01:35:41,479
I'm afraid that if I admit to how stunning
1728
01:35:41,589 --> 01:35:44,387
and intelligent and wonderful you are,
1729
01:35:45,259 --> 01:35:49,093
-I'd just lose you.
-Shut up, Allen. I love you.
1730
01:35:49,597 --> 01:35:52,395
We have a place that's safe. All right.
1731
01:36:04,946 --> 01:36:06,174
I'm gonna break your hip.
1732
01:36:14,956 --> 01:36:17,254
I'm about to do you grandpa-style.
1733
01:36:32,673 --> 01:36:34,300
I brought some music.
1734
01:36:38,813 --> 01:36:40,804
Not what I would've chosen, but screw it.
1735
01:36:40,881 --> 01:36:44,146
All right. Let's go, Monday morning,
time to go to work.
1736
01:36:44,218 --> 01:36:45,344
Let's do it.
1737
01:36:45,453 --> 01:36:47,182
-You want my gate code?
-Shut up, man!
1738
01:36:54,729 --> 01:36:55,821
That's Wesley!
1739
01:37:06,874 --> 01:37:07,966
Yes!
1740
01:37:10,378 --> 01:37:12,903
-Where'd you learn to drive like that?
-Gtand Theft Auto!
1741
01:37:15,850 --> 01:37:17,078
Shit, Allen, they're coming.
1742
01:37:19,987 --> 01:37:22,547
-Oh, my God!
-Shit.
1743
01:37:23,824 --> 01:37:25,519
-Do something, Allen!
-Hold on, hold on.
1744
01:37:47,014 --> 01:37:48,811
Someone's been playing Gtand Theft Auto.
1745
01:37:50,583 --> 01:37:51,914
I did that!
1746
01:37:52,018 --> 01:37:53,679
-I did that!
-Oh, my God!
1747
01:37:53,753 --> 01:37:56,051
-That's what I'm talking about!
-We jackknifed them!
1748
01:37:56,122 --> 01:37:58,613
Did you see that? It went backwards
and then turned upside-down.
1749
01:37:58,725 --> 01:38:02,286
Gator turns vans upside-down like
they're in a crazy washing machine!
1750
01:38:02,395 --> 01:38:04,329
Why are you calling yourself Gator?
1751
01:38:04,898 --> 01:38:07,662
It's a nickname I had in college.
I used to run a dating service.
1752
01:38:07,734 --> 01:38:10,931
-He was a pimp.
-Yeah, I was. I was a pimp.
1753
01:38:11,071 --> 01:38:13,539
Is it me or does it smell
like deer vagina in here?
1754
01:38:14,574 --> 01:38:15,700
My poor car.
1755
01:38:16,042 --> 01:38:18,510
Right now the streets are a bloodbath.
1756
01:38:18,611 --> 01:38:21,705
And, statistically speaking,
there's about 30 kids in here,
1757
01:38:21,815 --> 01:38:23,806
10 of you are gonna be dead
before your next birthday.
1758
01:38:24,117 --> 01:38:27,177
Got a couple of tips,
help you guys stay out of jail.
1759
01:38:27,287 --> 01:38:31,519
One, try your hardest
to not be black or Hispanic.
1760
01:38:31,624 --> 01:38:33,854
-It's a good tip.
-Yeah. Two...
1761
01:38:33,960 --> 01:38:35,257
Gentlemen, we got a hot one.
1762
01:38:35,328 --> 01:38:38,957
Hoitz and Gamble have Etshon hostage,
high-speed cat chase in ptogtess.
1763
01:38:39,032 --> 01:38:41,000
Yes! Gun, gun!
1764
01:38:41,101 --> 01:38:43,035
Pass up the guns. Pass them up.
Let's go, people.
1765
01:38:43,136 --> 01:38:44,763
There we go. Anything, any Tasers? No?
1766
01:38:44,838 --> 01:38:46,271
Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along?
1767
01:38:46,339 --> 01:38:47,806
I do!
1768
01:38:48,308 --> 01:38:49,673
All right, you, sweetie.
Come on, let's go. Move.
1769
01:38:49,776 --> 01:38:50,970
-Move! Let's go.
-Come on!
1770
01:39:01,518 --> 01:39:04,385
Cool, a helicopter!
Must be covering the high-speed chase.
1771
01:39:09,660 --> 01:39:11,025
Jesus!
1772
01:39:15,866 --> 01:39:18,664
-Who are those guys?
-They're Chechen investors.
1773
01:39:18,735 --> 01:39:21,795
We were gonna do a Chechen version
of Dota the Explotet.
1774
01:39:21,872 --> 01:39:23,464
Anyway, it went terribly wrong.
1775
01:39:26,643 --> 01:39:28,838
I feel like it's not fair
that they have a helicopter!
1776
01:39:29,847 --> 01:39:30,905
Oh, no.
1777
01:39:32,316 --> 01:39:33,374
Damn it.
1778
01:39:37,254 --> 01:39:39,722
Watch your head. God, your hair is soft.
1779
01:39:39,823 --> 01:39:41,256
VO5 Hot Oil.
1780
01:39:44,595 --> 01:39:46,893
You're gonna wreck!
There's cars coming from both directions!
1781
01:39:46,997 --> 01:39:48,089
I'm not gonna wreck!
1782
01:39:50,067 --> 01:39:51,830
-I'm gonna wreck! You're right!
-You want me to drive?
1783
01:40:11,855 --> 01:40:14,517
-This was a very clever idea.
-Yeah.
1784
01:40:26,603 --> 01:40:27,900
They're gone.
1785
01:40:29,306 --> 01:40:30,398
Let's go.
1786
01:40:42,719 --> 01:40:46,155
They are Nigerians.
Yeah, I'd forgotten about them.
1787
01:40:54,031 --> 01:40:55,259
-This is a shortcut.
-Are you kidding me?
1788
01:40:55,332 --> 01:40:56,560
You cannot go down there.
1789
01:41:04,474 --> 01:41:05,964
What are you doing?
1790
01:41:12,182 --> 01:41:13,274
Hit him!
1791
01:41:20,991 --> 01:41:22,356
-Where are we?
-Chelsea Pier.
1792
01:41:28,832 --> 01:41:29,924
What the hell?
1793
01:41:31,268 --> 01:41:32,326
Jesus!
1794
01:41:39,710 --> 01:41:41,541
Them having a helicopter
is definitely cheating.
1795
01:41:42,312 --> 01:41:43,370
Go!
1796
01:41:48,518 --> 01:41:49,610
Come on!
1797
01:41:51,488 --> 01:41:53,046
We're cops! Hit the chopper!
1798
01:42:15,979 --> 01:42:18,846
This is Martin and Fosse, en route.
Back off! This is our collar!
1799
01:42:20,684 --> 01:42:23,346
Set up a perimeter.
No arrests until we get there!
1800
01:42:23,654 --> 01:42:24,712
Take the light!
1801
01:42:44,908 --> 01:42:46,432
Do not authorize that transfer.
1802
01:42:46,543 --> 01:42:48,101
This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him.
1803
01:42:48,211 --> 01:42:50,611
He will tell you not to authorize it, okay?
Tell him.
1804
01:42:50,714 --> 01:42:53,342
-Tell him!
-Yeah, do as they say. Stop the transfer.
1805
01:42:53,417 --> 01:42:54,384
Approve it.
1806
01:42:55,950 --> 01:42:57,042
Now.
1807
01:42:57,118 --> 01:42:58,710
Do not touch anything!
1808
01:42:59,120 --> 01:43:01,384
I swear to God
I'll blow your head all over this desk.
1809
01:43:01,456 --> 01:43:03,890
Not a person in this room believes
you'll shoot this clerk.
1810
01:43:03,958 --> 01:43:05,050
Yeah?
1811
01:43:06,427 --> 01:43:09,919
Thank you so much, gentlemen,
for the prompt delivery of Mr. Ershon.
1812
01:43:10,031 --> 01:43:13,432
I have two competing bids
from jilted investors.
1813
01:43:14,135 --> 01:43:16,365
They're at 30 million, and holding.
1814
01:43:17,071 --> 01:43:19,039
-Wait! Can't you let me...
-Take him away.
1815
01:43:19,607 --> 01:43:21,131
But computers.
1816
01:43:23,311 --> 01:43:26,712
What if, one day, they were in charge?
1817
01:43:28,283 --> 01:43:32,379
Now if you don't shut up,
I will cut your ear off with a butter knife.
1818
01:43:32,453 --> 01:43:34,546
That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp.
1819
01:43:34,622 --> 01:43:35,884
Now!
1820
01:43:42,931 --> 01:43:44,091
You just stood there!
1821
01:43:44,198 --> 01:43:46,962
I didn't know that "now" meant that.
How am I supposed to know that?
1822
01:43:47,068 --> 01:43:48,933
-I knew what that meant.
-Shut up.
1823
01:43:49,037 --> 01:43:52,063
You kill us and you kill Ershon.
You're out 30 million dollars.
1824
01:43:52,140 --> 01:43:54,233
-Who's got the golden goose now, huh?
-Yeah.
1825
01:43:58,279 --> 01:43:59,871
Shit!
1826
01:44:00,548 --> 01:44:02,709
He's still valuable with a bullet wound, mate.
1827
01:44:02,784 --> 01:44:04,649
He immediately called your bluff.
1828
01:44:04,752 --> 01:44:06,583
Get up. And kill the police.
1829
01:44:06,654 --> 01:44:08,121
I just wanna make sure I get it right.
1830
01:44:08,222 --> 01:44:11,623
Did you want this transfer approved
or not approved?
1831
01:44:12,093 --> 01:44:14,459
You, mate, I'm gonna kill just for fun.
1832
01:44:15,997 --> 01:44:18,795
Police, don't move! Drop your weapons!
1833
01:44:18,900 --> 01:44:21,835
Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy!
1834
01:44:21,903 --> 01:44:24,838
I hope you like the taste
of prison food and penis.
1835
01:44:24,939 --> 01:44:27,703
-Police! Down on the ground!
-Let me see your hands!
1836
01:44:35,516 --> 01:44:37,882
-Hey, hey, you okay?
-Hey.
1837
01:44:38,786 --> 01:44:41,152
Hey, Gene. Captain. I'm sorry.
1838
01:44:41,456 --> 01:44:43,151
-I'm sorry.
-That's okay. Don't worry about it.
1839
01:44:43,224 --> 01:44:44,623
You can call me Gene
when we're not in the office.
1840
01:44:45,193 --> 01:44:47,320
Okay. Thanks for coming by.
1841
01:44:47,395 --> 01:44:49,488
Attaboy.
1842
01:44:49,564 --> 01:44:51,623
Come on, stay with me. Stay with me.
1843
01:44:51,866 --> 01:44:54,460
We're losing him! We're losing him!
He's dying!
1844
01:44:55,200 --> 01:44:58,533
No. No, no, no, no. I'm just resting.
I'm just resting. I was just resting.
1845
01:44:58,637 --> 01:45:00,798
I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?
1846
01:45:00,872 --> 01:45:02,396
-Are you all right?
-Just resting.
1847
01:45:02,507 --> 01:45:03,906
Hey, let me tell you something.
1848
01:45:04,009 --> 01:45:06,842
As far as paperwork goes,
we'll take care of it.
1849
01:45:07,179 --> 01:45:08,737
-You know why?
-Why?
1850
01:45:08,847 --> 01:45:10,337
Ain't too proud to beg.
1851
01:45:10,983 --> 01:45:12,177
Come on.
1852
01:45:12,250 --> 01:45:14,081
-What?
-It's not funny anymore.
1853
01:45:14,186 --> 01:45:16,711
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-TLC references.
1854
01:45:16,822 --> 01:45:18,813
Still nothing. I swear to you.
1855
01:45:19,157 --> 01:45:24,493
I'm gonna go over and check on Terry.
I got a bad knee. Hold on. There you go.
1856
01:45:24,563 --> 01:45:27,361
It was the king of the mutt cases,
1857
01:45:27,432 --> 01:45:30,560
but Allen and Tetty had wotked it like stats.
1858
01:45:33,438 --> 01:45:36,566
Within 24 houts of leatning
about Etshon's scheme
1859
01:45:36,675 --> 01:45:38,700
and Lendl's massive losses,
1860
01:45:38,777 --> 01:45:41,507
the govetnment issued TARP funds
to bail out Lendl.
1861
01:45:41,580 --> 01:45:46,108
Lendl is in everything,
and we're gonna go everywhere...
1862
01:45:46,218 --> 01:45:47,549
They wete too big to fail.
1863
01:45:48,119 --> 01:45:53,284
Etshon now tesides in Palomino
Fedetal Cottectional Facility in Flotida.
1864
01:45:53,391 --> 01:45:56,451
He still invests. Cuttency's just diffetent.
1865
01:45:57,529 --> 01:45:59,929
Roget Wesley was linked
to the Beaman mutdet
1866
01:46:00,031 --> 01:46:03,831
by secutity cam footage
which Mattin and Fosse hadn't checked.
1867
01:46:03,902 --> 01:46:05,733
It only showed the back of theit heads.
1868
01:46:05,837 --> 01:46:09,933
But Allen's Faceback app
was able to get a match to theit faces.
1869
01:46:10,408 --> 01:46:12,273
Tetty mattied Ftancine.
1870
01:46:12,377 --> 01:46:15,346
He played hatp at the teception
and it was beautiful.
1871
01:46:15,413 --> 01:46:16,937
He had leatned how to play it
in the eighth gtade
1872
01:46:17,048 --> 01:46:20,415
to make fun of the faity
that lived up the stteet.
1873
01:46:20,518 --> 01:46:24,010
Tetty asked Sheila to be his best man,
but she declined.
1874
01:46:24,289 --> 01:46:28,521
Let's be honest,
we all wanna be supetstats and hotshots.
1875
01:46:28,593 --> 01:46:29,821
But guess what?
1876
01:46:29,894 --> 01:46:33,386
The people that do the teal wotk,
the ones that make the diffetence,
1877
01:46:33,665 --> 01:46:36,657
you don't see them on TV
ot on the ftont page.
1878
01:46:37,302 --> 01:46:40,760
I'm talking about the day-in,
day-outets, the gtindets.
1879
01:46:40,905 --> 01:46:44,033
Come on, man, you know who
I'm talking about: the othet guys.
1880
01:46:44,109 --> 01:46:45,269
-See? That's a no-go.
-Hey, hey.
1881
01:46:46,044 --> 01:46:48,035
You think you broke this Ershon case open?
1882
01:46:48,446 --> 01:46:49,674
You did nothing.
1883
01:46:50,081 --> 01:46:51,673
Corporate lobbyists are spending millions
1884
01:46:51,749 --> 01:46:54,013
to make sure guys like Ershon
keep doing what they do.
1885
01:46:54,886 --> 01:46:55,875
Derek Jeter?
1886
01:46:57,288 --> 01:47:00,382
Yeah, it's me. You were set up
that night you shot me, Terry.
1887
01:47:00,692 --> 01:47:03,490
-I told you!
-They knew by putting someone like you
1888
01:47:03,561 --> 01:47:06,530
with a quick trigger finger next to that door
where I do my pre-game walk,
1889
01:47:06,698 --> 01:47:09,064
it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us.
1890
01:47:09,601 --> 01:47:11,694
Now, I've been doing my own investigation
on the banking industry,
1891
01:47:11,836 --> 01:47:13,895
and I was close. I was real close.
1892
01:47:14,305 --> 01:47:15,465
So I forgive you, Terry.
1893
01:47:16,040 --> 01:47:18,133
I appreciate that, man. I'm sorry about
what happened.
1894
01:47:18,910 --> 01:47:19,899
I'm glad you're doing better.
1895
01:47:20,378 --> 01:47:22,676
The whole damn system is clogged up
with dirty money.
1896
01:47:23,281 --> 01:47:26,512
And the news doesn't say a word about it.
'Cause who owns them?
1897
01:47:26,684 --> 01:47:29,118
The same corporations
that own the government.
1898
01:47:29,721 --> 01:47:31,416
Courts and the law is all we have left.
1899
01:47:32,757 --> 01:47:34,190
So here's you guys' next case.
1900
01:47:35,326 --> 01:47:38,227
Guy by the name of Carl Bachand,
CEO of Killister Bank.
1901
01:47:38,863 --> 01:47:42,697
He took three billion in TARP funds.
He's crooked. He's real crooked.
1902
01:47:43,234 --> 01:47:47,830
Take him down, but be careful.
He's got Blackwater mercenaries 24/7.
1903
01:47:48,873 --> 01:47:50,033
Thanks, Derek.
1904
01:47:51,342 --> 01:47:53,469
Hey, Derek! Wait!
What if we need to get in touch with you,
1905
01:47:53,545 --> 01:47:55,911
get some more information
or some tickets or something?
1906
01:47:56,648 --> 01:47:57,808
What just happened?
1907
01:48:00,652 --> 01:48:03,746
Goldman Sachs.
This case is gonna be nasty.
1908
01:48:06,424 --> 01:48:08,119
Hi. Cute glasses.
1909
01:48:09,127 --> 01:48:11,095
-What was that?
-What?
1910
01:48:11,162 --> 01:48:14,791
What? Dude, what is it with you
and hot ladies? What's your secret?
1911
01:48:14,866 --> 01:48:17,528
Honestly, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
1912
01:48:17,635 --> 01:48:19,660
Tell me who you lost your virginity to.
1913
01:48:19,771 --> 01:48:22,797
She actually became a TV actress.
Heather Locklear.
1914
01:48:22,874 --> 01:48:24,535
Heather Locklear, what?
1915
01:48:24,642 --> 01:48:26,269
-You've heard of her?
-Come on!
1916
01:48:26,344 --> 01:48:30,144
-She was much chubbier back then.
-I don't get it. I really, I don't get it.
1917
01:53:31,048 --> 01:53:32,709
That was you.
You don't have a sense of humor.
1918
01:53:32,816 --> 01:53:34,283
I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor.
1919
01:53:34,785 --> 01:53:36,343
If you say something funny, I'll laugh.
1920
01:53:36,420 --> 01:53:39,116
-All right, I'm gonna tell you a great joke.
-Please. I love jokes.
1921
01:53:39,256 --> 01:53:41,816
All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday.
1922
01:53:43,226 --> 01:53:46,354
-It's time to get laid.
-Already feels inappropriate.
1923
01:53:46,663 --> 01:53:48,426
So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse,
he goes, "Miss,
1924
01:53:48,799 --> 01:53:51,962
"look, I know usually you want money, but
I don't have any money and it's my birthday.
1925
01:53:52,302 --> 01:53:54,065
"Do you think I could have sex with you
for this duck?"
1926
01:53:54,604 --> 01:53:56,799
-Was he a farmer?
-No.
1927
01:53:57,007 --> 01:54:01,307
That's probably a Health Code violation,
bringing a duck into a place of prostitution.
1928
01:54:01,745 --> 01:54:03,303
They weren't gonna have sex with the duck!
1929
01:54:03,580 --> 01:54:05,343
No, I just mean Health Code violation
1930
01:54:05,415 --> 01:54:09,010
to have the duck brought into
a facility like that.
1931
01:54:10,520 --> 01:54:12,681
So, anyway, she says, "Yes, I'll do it."
1932
01:54:13,223 --> 01:54:15,657
So he goes in there, gives it to her.
1933
01:54:16,226 --> 01:54:19,389
-He gives her what?
-The high, hard one! She loves it.
1934
01:54:19,663 --> 01:54:22,655
She goes, "You know what? If you do that
again, I'll give you your duck back."
1935
01:54:23,000 --> 01:54:24,934
-It's like getting laid twice for free.
-So... I'm sorry.
1936
01:54:25,002 --> 01:54:26,128
I'm so sorry.
1937
01:54:26,436 --> 01:54:30,372
-The duck is payment for sexual intercourse.
-Yes. Yes.
1938
01:54:30,540 --> 01:54:31,700
-Very good.
-He used the duck as payment,
1939
01:54:31,775 --> 01:54:33,367
and now he's being paid back the duck.
1940
01:54:33,810 --> 01:54:36,904
He goes, "Oh, my God, this is
the greatest birthday ever." He does it again.
1941
01:54:37,214 --> 01:54:40,775
-Now he's walking home, right? Walking...
-So she was satisfied with duck.
1942
01:54:41,084 --> 01:54:43,075
-With a duck as currency...
-Yes.
1943
01:54:43,153 --> 01:54:45,621
...to her. Great. Good.
1944
01:54:45,956 --> 01:54:49,687
So he's walking home, now he can't wait
to get home to tell his father. Right?
1945
01:54:50,060 --> 01:54:52,221
He's walking down the street with the duck,
and all of a sudden, voom,
1946
01:54:52,295 --> 01:54:53,694
truck comes by and runs over his duck.
1947
01:54:53,797 --> 01:54:55,196
-Kills the duck?
-Killed the duck.
1948
01:54:55,265 --> 01:54:57,426
-So the duck is now dead.
-The duck is dead.
1949
01:54:57,901 --> 01:55:01,200
The kid starts crying, truck driver stops,
he's all upset, he didn't mean...
1950
01:55:01,371 --> 01:55:04,499
Of course he's crying! He's a 13-year-old boy
who's just had sex, twice,
1951
01:55:04,674 --> 01:55:08,132
-and he watched his beloved duck die.
-Will you shut up and let me tell the story?
1952
01:55:08,311 --> 01:55:10,211
So far, I don't know
how this is ever gonna be funny.
1953
01:55:10,514 --> 01:55:12,982
The guy feels so bad about killing the duck,
he gives him two dollars.
1954
01:55:13,350 --> 01:55:14,681
And the kid's happy with the two bucks?
1955
01:55:15,185 --> 01:55:18,643
He's ecstatic! He got laid twice,
and now he's got two dollars on top of it.
1956
01:55:18,722 --> 01:55:21,190
Seems like a duck would be worth
a lot more than two dollars.
1957
01:55:22,359 --> 01:55:23,883
This was a while back. You what I'm...
1958
01:55:24,294 --> 01:55:26,785
So he goes home, his dad goes,
"What happened? What happened?
1959
01:55:26,863 --> 01:55:30,321
"Tell me! Tell me!" He goes,
"Dad, I got a fuck for the duck,
1960
01:55:30,467 --> 01:55:31,991
"l got a duck for the fuck,
1961
01:55:32,069 --> 01:55:33,832
"and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck!"
1962
01:55:36,907 --> 01:55:38,135
So it's like a limerick.
1963
01:55:39,342 --> 01:55:40,570
You didn't think that was funny?
1964
01:55:41,044 --> 01:55:42,909
I thought it was entertaining
at the end, sure,
1965
01:55:43,613 --> 01:55:45,376
the way all the words were put together,
1966
01:55:45,449 --> 01:55:47,007
but in terms of content?
1967
01:55:48,652 --> 01:55:49,744
No.
1968
01:55:52,956 --> 01:55:56,585
Get the check-check from Shen-Shen.
Let's get out of here.
1969
01:56:01,798 --> 01:56:05,996
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
1970
01:56:06,470 --> 01:56:07,494
And cut.
154495