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1
00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:02,668
[whinnies]
2
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:06,456
Hello. I'm Mister Ed.
3
00:00:10,794 --> 00:00:12,962
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
4
00:00:12,962 --> 00:00:15,130
♪ And no one can talkto a horse, of course ♪
5
00:00:15,131 --> 00:00:17,299
♪ That is, of course,unless the horse ♪
6
00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:18,934
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
7
00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:21,103
♪ Go right to the sourceand ask the horse ♪
8
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,188
♪ He'll give youthe answer ♪
9
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,272
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
10
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,441
♪ He's alwayson a steady course ♪
11
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,060
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
12
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:38,420
[Mister Ed]
10 minutes to 8. Let's see what's on.
13
00:00:38,421 --> 00:00:43,292
"8:00, Young Dr. Jones.
8:30, &TCity Intern.
14
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,461
9:00, Night Nurse."
15
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:48,715
Oh, this is my night
for the clinic.
16
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,968
I'd better make sure
I've got the correct time.
17
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:54,687
Wouldn't want to miss
the first incision.
18
00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:00,643
[Kay]I'll never talkto Selma Peterson again.
19
00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:02,811
She's absolutely impossible.
20
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,980
I feel the same way, Kay.
21
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,700
[Carol]Have you ever seensuch a copycat?
22
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,318
You can bet she'll show up
23
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,038
at our club wearing
the same dress I just bought.
24
00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:13,656
[Carol]And my hat.
25
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:15,290
And my saddle.
26
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:17,994
Uh, what did you say, Carol?
27
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:20,713
Nothing. There must be
somebody on the other line.
28
00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:23,966
Would you girls
mind hanging up?
29
00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:27,219
This is a private line.
Who is this?
30
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:30,473
Dr. Jones.
I'm trying to reach the city hospital.
31
00:01:30,473 --> 00:01:32,091
City hospital?
32
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,895
An emergency.
I have to remove an appendix.
33
00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:38,063
Oh, I'm sorry, Doctor.
34
00:01:38,064 --> 00:01:39,682
Our lines must have
gotten crossed.
35
00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:43,485
[Carol]I'll talk to you later, Kay.
36
00:01:43,486 --> 00:01:46,739
Ed, I've spoken to you about
eavesdropping on Carol.
37
00:01:46,739 --> 00:01:49,441
All my favorite medical shows
are on tonight,
38
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:52,161
and I wanted to get
the right time.
39
00:01:52,162 --> 00:01:54,864
I'll fix that.
40
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:56,498
What were the girls doing?
41
00:01:56,499 --> 00:01:58,117
Tearing Selma Peterson
apart again?
42
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,371
Yeah, people are so petty.
43
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:04,624
Always jealous.
Always competing.
44
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,792
What do you mean there's
no jealous among animals?
45
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,961
No, even in a horse race.
46
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,130
Those horses don't care
who wins.
47
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,765
Now he tells me.
48
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:15,467
Why can't people
love each other, Wilbur?
49
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,187
You know, they've got
a Be Kind to Animals Week.
50
00:02:18,188 --> 00:02:20,890
They should have
a Be Kind to Humans Week.
51
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,609
Ed, that's
a beautiful thought.
52
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,228
This would be a better world
53
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:28,481
if we each took an enemy
and made a friend out of him.
54
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:32,818
Take an enemy
and make a friend.
55
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,538
That's what
I like about you, Ed. You're a thinking horse.
56
00:02:35,538 --> 00:02:36,622
[chuckles]
57
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:39,876
And I don't even smoke.
58
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:44,747
Wilbur.
59
00:02:46,382 --> 00:02:48,000
Will you do me a favor?
60
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,635
Well, sure, Rog, what is it?
61
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,254
Well, my TV set just blew out.
62
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,973
Could I borrow your portable
for a day or two?
63
00:02:55,058 --> 00:02:55,591
[thump]
64
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:58,311
Oh, no.
65
00:02:58,311 --> 00:02:59,929
I was gonna watch something.
66
00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:01,563
Well, you got the big set
in the house.
67
00:03:01,564 --> 00:03:04,266
Well, you see, Carol was gonna
watch something on that.
68
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:07,520
You mean you have
his and hers TV sets?
69
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,688
- No, Rog, I didn't mean that.
- [heavy clunk]
70
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,942
Hey, hey, hey.
71
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,576
Stop that, you stupid slug.
72
00:03:14,577 --> 00:03:16,195
Ed, you get back in there.
73
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,915
Hey, look, he's bitten
through the wire here.
74
00:03:18,915 --> 00:03:20,533
I'm sorry, he was trying
to eat the cord.
75
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,701
He'll eat anything.
76
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,336
Well, you should do something
about that fat clown.
77
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:27,039
I wish you wouldn't
call him names.
78
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,674
Ed, senses that you
don't like him.
79
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:29,759
Senses?
80
00:03:29,759 --> 00:03:32,461
I'd be glad to put it
in writing.
81
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,181
Look, Rog, you should
be nicer to Ed.
82
00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:37,349
You can't hold a grudge
for the rest of your life.
83
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:41,137
Look, you should try to make
a friend out of an enemy.
84
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,305
You are rapidly making
an enemy out of friend.
85
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,940
Would you please
step to one side
86
00:03:44,941 --> 00:03:47,643
so I can get this out of here?
Thank you very much.
87
00:03:51,447 --> 00:03:55,784
Now I'll miss
all my medical programs.
88
00:03:55,785 --> 00:03:58,487
It's just for one night.
89
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,207
Besides, you see enough
medical programs
90
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:02,825
to hang out your own shingle.
91
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:03,909
- Ah.
- Good night.
92
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:10,416
Ooh, that old fuzz lips
declared war.
93
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:13,669
Even the U.N.
couldn't save him now.
94
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:32,988
Here your oats. Eat up, fella.
95
00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:38,944
Just because Addison
borrowed your TV set,
96
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,579
there's no reason
to go on a hunger strike.
97
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,748
Now, come on, open your mouth.
98
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:47,086
Nope. Not one grain of oats
is crossing my picket line.
99
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:49,254
Ed, you'll get your set back.
100
00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:52,508
When?
He's had it three days now.
101
00:04:52,508 --> 00:04:55,761
That's 10 doctor shows
I've missed.
102
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,930
You can read about them
in the Medical Journal.
103
00:04:57,930 --> 00:05:00,632
[Mister Ed]
Ha ha ha.
104
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,267
Look, Ed, be patient.
105
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:05,521
Roger's getting some estimates
from TV repairmen.
106
00:05:05,521 --> 00:05:07,139
And as soon as he finds
the right price,
107
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,774
he's gonna get his set fixed.
108
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,943
By the time he finds
the right price,
109
00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:12,561
radio will be back.
110
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,730
You should be glad
to lend Roger your set.
111
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,365
What happened
to your philosophy
112
00:05:16,366 --> 00:05:18,534
about being kind to humans?
113
00:05:18,534 --> 00:05:21,236
Who says Addison's human?
114
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:23,956
Please, get my set back.
115
00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:25,574
A million horses
in this country,
116
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:29,378
and I had to pick on one
who's an ambulance chaser.
117
00:05:29,379 --> 00:05:30,463
All right,
I'll go over to Addison's,
118
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,165
and I'll drop a gentle hint.
119
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,800
Uh, Wilbur,
120
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:39,138
start out by saying
"Hello, cheapskate."
121
00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:40,222
That's gentle.
That's gentle.
122
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:43,475
- Oh, hi, Wilbur.
- Hi, Kay.
123
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,094
Is Rog around?
124
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,728
Oh, he's getting dressed.
He'll be right down.
125
00:05:46,729 --> 00:05:49,431
Say, I just put some coffee on.
Would you like some?
126
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,516
Yes, thank you.
127
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,684
That's a smart-looking coat.
When did you get it?
128
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:53,769
The coat, yesterday.
129
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:57,023
The fox will be eligible
for Social Security next year.
130
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,191
It's the latest thing, honey.
131
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,911
A lot of the girls are using
their old furs like this.
132
00:06:01,911 --> 00:06:04,079
Say, Wilbur, will you
hold this up for me
133
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,698
so I can get an idea
how it looks?
134
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:07,332
Sure, sure.
135
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,501
- Like it?
- Uh-Huh.
136
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:12,204
It'll raise a little bit
once you get it on.
137
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,289
Here, I'll show you, Kay.
138
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,373
Honey, would you mind
slipping it on?
139
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,008
You're kidding.
140
00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:17,626
Oh, come on, please, Wilbur.
141
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,261
You know
I only look good in mink.
142
00:06:19,262 --> 00:06:20,880
Oh, just for a second, doll.
143
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,514
[both]
Come on, Wilbur.
144
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,683
- All right.
- We're all alone.
145
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:28,471
Plus I won't do justice to it
in my flats.
146
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,190
Now, will you walk out for me,
Wilbur?
147
00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:33,358
Sure.
148
00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:36,061
Kay, do you think you'd like
a little longer hem line?
149
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,781
It's hard to tell.
I'll be wearing high heels.
150
00:06:38,781 --> 00:06:41,483
Wilbur, would you mind
rising up on your toes?
151
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:45,287
Okay, if you let me wear this
to the ball park on Ladies Day.
152
00:06:45,288 --> 00:06:47,990
Of course, the trim on the hat
and bag will really set it off.
153
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,624
- Yeah.
- There.
154
00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:51,243
Honey, would you mind
holding the bag?
155
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,963
Why not?
I feel naked without it.
156
00:06:53,963 --> 00:06:55,581
- Turn around, dear.
- All right.
157
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:58,300
Oh, I really like it.
158
00:06:58,301 --> 00:06:59,385
It looks so chic.
159
00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:01,003
And we know it's an original.
160
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,171
Until Selma Peterson
copies it.
161
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,806
If she does, I'll kill myself.
162
00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:06,425
Oh, she won't even see it.
163
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,060
She's not coming to anymore
of our meetings.
164
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,678
Why not?
165
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,398
Well, Marie at
the beauty parlor told me
166
00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:14,566
that Selma found out
how we feel about her.
167
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:15,651
I wonder who told her.
168
00:07:15,651 --> 00:07:17,269
Marie at the beauty parlor.
169
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,438
Well, that suits me.
I can't stand Selma.
170
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,607
She pretty hard to take.
171
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,241
You want to know what I think?
172
00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:24,326
Just between us girls.
173
00:07:24,327 --> 00:07:25,411
[both]
What?
174
00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:29,198
I think you're being
very unfair to Selma.
175
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:33,001
I don't think so.
Why, she's always copying my hats,
176
00:07:33,002 --> 00:07:35,170
Kay's dresses,
Hazel Wilson's recipes--
177
00:07:35,171 --> 00:07:36,789
Even that cold
she had last week
178
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,423
she got from Dianne Cooper.
179
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:40,592
Carol, when you were
sick in bed that one time,
180
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:43,295
wasn't that Selma who came
to visit you ever day?
181
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,380
Well, I--
182
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,548
She just wanted to get a look
at your bedroom.
183
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:49,802
And, Kay, when you were wanting
to take driving lessons
184
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:50,886
and Rog wouldn't help you,
185
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:51,971
wasn't that Selma
186
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,605
who helped you
get your driver's license?
187
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,224
How'd you find out all this?
188
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:57,943
My barber dates Marie
at the beauty shop.
189
00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:01,197
Oh, come on, why don't you
make up with Selma?
190
00:08:01,197 --> 00:08:02,281
As a friend of mine once said,
191
00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:04,983
"This would be a great world
if we each took a enemy
192
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:08,237
and tired to make
a friend out of them."
193
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,405
All right, girls?
194
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:13,659
Well, I'm not going
to make the first move.
195
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,378
I smell the coffee perking.
196
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:21,800
You can take that off now,
honey.
197
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:25,054
Good, I tell you--
198
00:08:25,054 --> 00:08:26,138
This hook is stuck.
199
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:28,306
Oh, be careful, honey.
You'll rip the lining.
200
00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:29,925
Here, I'll get the scissors.
201
00:08:33,729 --> 00:08:36,982
Kay, where did you leave
the scissors?
202
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:40,236
[doorbell chimes]
203
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,529
Morning, lady.
I come to fix the TV set.
204
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,249
- Are you Mrs. Addison?
- No, I'm Mr. Post.
205
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:57,035
I guess I got the wrong house,
lady-- sir.
206
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:59,204
No, no, this is the Addisons'.
Come on in.
207
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:05,177
Well, this is Mrs. Addison's
new coat.
208
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:10,599
I was just trying it on
so she could fix the hem.
209
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,302
Sure, mister.
210
00:09:17,106 --> 00:09:18,190
This the one?
211
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:21,977
No, that's my horse's.
212
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,612
Mine, mine, mine.
213
00:09:23,613 --> 00:09:26,866
This is the broken one.
The big one over here.
214
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,737
Good morning, dear.
215
00:09:36,626 --> 00:09:39,328
I was just trying on
Kay's coat.
216
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,412
I think you look adorable.
217
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,216
You see it was
the hem line first,
218
00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:46,384
then the hook got stuck,
and Carol went after the scissors,
219
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:51,256
and I think I'll get
this coat back to Kay.
220
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,891
Forgot my purse.
221
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:53,976
Well, I mean--
222
00:10:02,652 --> 00:10:03,736
My neighbor.
223
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,904
To each his own.
224
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,776
What's wrong with my set?
225
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,410
Looks like you need
a new condenser.
226
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:13,495
How much?
227
00:10:13,496 --> 00:10:15,114
Oh, I figure 35 bucks.
228
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,748
35 bucks?
229
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:20,002
I have had a half dozen
estimates lower than that.
230
00:10:20,002 --> 00:10:21,620
All those are estimates?
231
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,705
- That's right.
- On this set?
232
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,339
Of course.
233
00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:26,508
There weren't that many guys
in my graduating class.
234
00:10:26,509 --> 00:10:29,211
Good-bye.
235
00:10:30,846 --> 00:10:33,014
[Kay]
Cup of coffee, doll?
236
00:10:33,015 --> 00:10:35,183
[Roger]
No, thanks, dear..
237
00:10:37,353 --> 00:10:38,971
How'd you make out, Rog?
You're getting the set fixed?
238
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,605
These estimates
are ridiculous.
239
00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:42,224
I've got a dozen bids
240
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,392
from $65 all the way
down to 12.
241
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,027
Well, why don't you take
the $12 one?
242
00:10:46,028 --> 00:10:48,196
Oh, we can't get together
on price.
243
00:10:48,197 --> 00:10:50,899
Oh, look, Rog,
I don't want you to think
244
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:51,984
I'm pressing you
for the set, but--
245
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:55,237
You didn't want to lend me
that set in the first place.
246
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:57,956
- Rog--
- I didn't object when you borrowed my wife's fur coat.
247
00:10:57,957 --> 00:11:00,125
I'm only kidding, Rog.
248
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,294
Keep the set
as long as you want.
249
00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:03,378
Till tomorrow anyway.
250
00:11:03,379 --> 00:11:04,997
That does it.
251
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,165
If I can't watch my set,
252
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,334
he's not gonna
watch it, either.
253
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,419
[grumbling]
254
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,777
Wilbur,
only a child could think
255
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,945
of a devious trick like this.
256
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,114
Believe me, Rog, I did not
knock down your antenna.
257
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,199
Then who did?
258
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:44,002
I don't know.
Maybe a nearsighted pigeon bumped into it.
259
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,087
Give me one good reason
260
00:11:45,087 --> 00:11:46,705
why I'd pull a trick
like this on you.
261
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,340
So the set you lent me
wouldn't work
262
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,958
and you'd take it back.
263
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,043
Hey, that's a good reason.
264
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,211
I wished I thought of that.
265
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:57,549
Uh, Mr. Post, there is
a dividing line between our property
266
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,184
and you were on
the wrong side of it.
267
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:01,887
Come on, Rog.
Look, we're friends, neighbors.
268
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,521
We shouldn't be having words.
269
00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:05,140
From now on
we wouldn't have any.
270
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,775
If I should pass you
on the street
271
00:12:06,776 --> 00:12:08,944
it won't be because
I'm nearsighted.
272
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,295
What's the matter,
buddy-buddy?
273
00:12:26,295 --> 00:12:30,082
Roger accused me
of knocking down his antenna.
274
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:33,335
Swell. Now you hate him,
and I hate him.
275
00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:34,969
That's togetherness.
276
00:12:34,970 --> 00:12:37,672
What bothers me,
I didn't do it.
277
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,307
If it bothers you,
278
00:12:39,308 --> 00:12:43,095
wait till he puts it up again,
then do it.
279
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,179
Go to sleep, Ed.
280
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,983
Yeah, yeah. No TV. Nothing.
281
00:12:47,983 --> 00:12:51,236
Might as well hit the hay
before I eat it.
282
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:52,855
[Ed yawns]
283
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,912
Honey, guess
who just dropped in.
284
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:01,530
- Who?
- Selma Peterson.
285
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,698
Oh, good.
How did that happen?
286
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,333
Remember that nice thought
you had
287
00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:07,502
about making a friend
of an enemy?
288
00:13:07,503 --> 00:13:08,587
Yeah.
289
00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:11,289
Well, Kay and I sent a box
of candy over to Selma.
290
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:14,009
She dropped in with a lovely
bouquet of flowers
291
00:13:14,009 --> 00:13:15,627
And Kay and I started to cry.
292
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,881
And Selma looked at us
and she started to cry.
293
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:19,965
[chuckles]
294
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,133
Best time to cry is when
you're happy, I guess.
295
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:25,387
Oh, I'm so happy
we made up with her.
296
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:26,471
I'm proud of you, dear.
297
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,556
Coming in?
298
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,724
- Yeah, soon as I put Ed to bed.
- Okay.
299
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,204
[Ed yawns]
300
00:13:42,204 --> 00:13:44,372
How do you like that, Ed?
301
00:13:44,373 --> 00:13:46,541
I get other people
to make up and be friends,
302
00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:48,710
and then I make an enemy
out of my best friend.
303
00:13:48,711 --> 00:13:52,498
Blaming you for knocking down
that antenna.
304
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,217
Gee, I hate that man.
305
00:13:55,217 --> 00:13:57,385
Well, Ed, you shouldn't
hate anybody.
306
00:13:57,386 --> 00:14:00,639
And I hate him
for taking my little TV set.
307
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,257
No, you don't, Ed.
308
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,342
You're soft-hearted.
309
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,510
That's why you like
these medical shows.
310
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,145
You see,
doctors are humanitarians.
311
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,848
If you were a doctor
and Rog came over here for help.
312
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,017
You wouldn't turn him down,
would you?
313
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,185
6 feet down.
314
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,270
I can't believe that.
315
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:20,693
Well, if I were a doctor,
316
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,861
I wouldn't help him.
317
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,496
Never.
318
00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:28,833
A horse being a doctor.
Go to sleep, Ed.
319
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:31,536
That's it.
Go to sleep, fella.
320
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:35,874
[snores]
321
00:14:58,113 --> 00:15:01,366
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
322
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,535
Hmm.
323
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:06,788
Uh.
324
00:15:06,789 --> 00:15:10,042
What do you think
of Mr. Addison's condition, Doctor?
325
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:14,379
It looks like an acute
hemostosis of the left fibrosis.
326
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,548
What do you think caused it?
327
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:19,801
His condenser blew out.
328
00:15:19,802 --> 00:15:21,420
Well, what time
should we operate?
329
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:24,139
Would 8:30
be all right, Doctor?
330
00:15:24,139 --> 00:15:28,476
No. I don't want to compete
against Perry Mason.
331
00:15:28,477 --> 00:15:30,095
How about tomorrow morning
at 7:30?
332
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:34,983
Impossible. My makeup man
doesn't get here till 8.
333
00:15:34,984 --> 00:15:36,602
When do you want to operate,
Doctor?
334
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,236
Never.
335
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:39,855
But, Doctor Ed,
336
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,574
you are the finest brain surgeon
in the whole world.
337
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:45,827
To him,
I'm just a fat old clown.
338
00:15:45,828 --> 00:15:47,996
Doctor Ed,
339
00:15:47,997 --> 00:15:50,165
you can't allow your personal
hatred of this man
340
00:15:50,165 --> 00:15:52,333
to stand in the way
of your duty.
341
00:15:52,334 --> 00:15:55,587
Remember, sir,
you are a doctor first
342
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,205
and a horse second.
343
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:58,840
Yeah.
344
00:15:58,841 --> 00:16:00,459
I've come to a decision.
345
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:03,178
Are the scalpels
sterilized and ready?
346
00:16:03,178 --> 00:16:04,796
- Yes, sir.
- Good.
347
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,965
Slice me some carrots.
348
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,218
[snoring continues]
349
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,866
I don't remember
operating on this patient.
350
00:16:24,867 --> 00:16:27,035
You didn't, Doctor.
I did.
351
00:16:27,036 --> 00:16:29,204
- You?
- Well, I couldn't sleep last nCight,
352
00:16:29,204 --> 00:16:31,906
so I got up, and I took out
Mr. Hutchins' frontal lebota.
353
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:35,160
The chart says this patient
is Mr. Fenwick.
354
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,879
So that's what
he was trying to tell me.
355
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,048
And why didn't you listen?
356
00:16:40,049 --> 00:16:42,217
I thought
he was being chicken.
357
00:16:46,555 --> 00:16:50,892
Well. Nurse, why are
this man's hands in traction?
358
00:16:50,893 --> 00:16:53,061
- It was either him or me.
- Hmm.
359
00:16:53,062 --> 00:16:56,849
This is Mr. Johnson,
a television repairman.
360
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,017
What was my diagnosis?
361
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:02,271
Um, "lumbosis
of the channelosis
362
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,439
with complications
of the antennaosis."
363
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,608
There's been a lot of it
going around.
364
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:09,327
It'll be a pleasure
to operate on him.
365
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:12,581
He's got the perfect complexion
for color TV.
366
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:17,452
Uh, Dr. Post?
367
00:17:19,088 --> 00:17:20,706
Uh, Dr. Post?
368
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,594
Did they teach you that
in medical school?
369
00:17:25,594 --> 00:17:28,296
No, sir. Junior high.
370
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:31,550
Doctor Ed, we're in love,
and we want to be married
371
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:34,269
just as soon as Wilbur
becomes a brain surgeon.
372
00:17:34,269 --> 00:17:36,971
He'll never
be a brain surgeon.
373
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:39,140
Why not, Doctor?
374
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,775
Eé
'Cause I'm a brain surgeon,
375
00:17:40,776 --> 00:17:43,478
and this network isn't
big enough for both of us.
376
00:17:45,114 --> 00:17:47,282
Well, what about Mr. Addison?
377
00:17:47,282 --> 00:17:49,450
- Are you gonna operate now?
- Never.
378
00:17:49,451 --> 00:17:53,238
I wouldn't touch that man
with a 10-foot thermometer.
379
00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:06,251
What do you say, doll?
380
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,419
Shall I beg Doctor Ed
to operate?
381
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,054
Never.
382
00:18:10,055 --> 00:18:12,757
But you can't go through life
without a condenser.
383
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,926
Would it make
any difference to you?
384
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,011
Oh, now, Addison,
385
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,730
you've just got to let
Doctor Ed save you.
386
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:21,432
You know how awful
I look in black.
387
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,601
No. Besides,
his fee is ridiculous.
388
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:24,686
$10,000.
389
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:27,405
But it's only money,
and you can't take it with you.
390
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:30,108
I can.
I'll eat it before I go.
391
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,277
Hello, Mr. Addison,
Mrs. Addison.
392
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,445
Let me make you
more comfortable.
393
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,165
- [humming]
- Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
394
00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:39,868
- What's the idea?
- What are you doing, Doctor?
395
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,502
Well, this is
my first brain operation.
396
00:18:41,503 --> 00:18:43,121
I thought it might
bring me luck
397
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,756
if I shaped him
like a horseshoe.
398
00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:46,924
You-- You are gonna operate?
399
00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:49,627
- Yeah.
- Kay, I'm scared.
400
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,262
You're scared? Look at me.
401
00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:54,516
Ohhhh!
[crying]
402
00:18:54,516 --> 00:18:56,134
[snoring continues]
403
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,316
Sponge.
404
00:19:16,205 --> 00:19:17,823
Clamp.
405
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,710
Scalpel.
406
00:19:22,711 --> 00:19:23,795
Huh?
407
00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:25,413
Scalpel.
408
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,582
Crazy little knife.
409
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,302
There was one
around here someplace.
410
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:31,920
[Roger]
Here, stupid.
411
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,554
She's gotta give it to me,
412
00:19:33,555 --> 00:19:35,173
or we get in trouble
with the union.
413
00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:37,892
[scalpel clangs on floor]
414
00:19:37,893 --> 00:19:40,061
Clumsy me.
415
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,523
Marry me now.
416
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:54,692
What about the patient?
417
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,327
He's got a wife.
418
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:10,425
Doctor, look! He's sinking!
419
00:20:12,594 --> 00:20:14,762
Only Doctor Ed
can save him now.
420
00:20:16,932 --> 00:20:19,634
Doctor Ed wanted in surgery.
Emergency.
421
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,803
Doctor Ed wanted in surgery.
Emergency.
422
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:24,522
♪ [bugle call]
423
00:20:27,776 --> 00:20:29,394
What happened?
424
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:31,028
He's sinking.
425
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:36,451
It's too late, Doctor.
426
00:20:36,451 --> 00:20:38,619
Oh, it's not too late.
427
00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:40,238
I can still save him.
428
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,873
It's not too late.
429
00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,491
No, it's not too late.
430
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,211
I can still save him.
It's not too late.
431
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:48,379
No! No! It's not too late!
432
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,633
- It's not-- [gasping]
- Ed. Ed. Hey. Hey.
433
00:20:51,633 --> 00:20:53,251
- Fella, take it easy.
- [sighing]
434
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,971
Take it easy.
What happened, old boy?
435
00:20:55,971 --> 00:20:57,589
You have a bad dream?
436
00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,308
Oh, Wilbur, I was wrong.
437
00:21:00,309 --> 00:21:03,562
I don't hate Addison.
I'd save him if I could.
438
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:05,730
Of course you would, Ed.
439
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:08,433
And it's my fault
he's angry with you.
440
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,152
I tore down his antenna.
441
00:21:11,153 --> 00:21:12,771
- You?
- Yeah.
442
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,939
Tell him I did it, Wilbur.
I don't want you to have enemies.
443
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,108
- All right. All right.
I'll tell him - [breathing heavily]
444
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,743
if it'll make you feel
any better.
445
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,912
Now, look, Ed.
Come on. Calm down.
446
00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:23,614
- You go back to sleep.
- [breathing slowing]
447
00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:25,783
That's all right.
Back-- Back-- Back to sleep.
448
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,418
- Why did I do it?
- No, no. Back to sleep.
449
00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:30,672
Why did I do it? Ohh.
450
00:21:30,672 --> 00:21:33,374
- Ah, hi, Wilbur.
- Oh, hello, Rog.
451
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:36,094
Look, you can keep the set
a while longer if you want to.
452
00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:37,712
Well, thanks, Wilbur,
but I've had mine repaired.
453
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,516
Swell. Look, Rog,
I did not knock down your antenna--
454
00:21:41,516 --> 00:21:44,218
Wilbur, I know. I know.
And I'm sorry I blamed you.
455
00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:46,387
As you said, it was the wind
that blew it down.
456
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,472
Yeah.
457
00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:52,360
Well, look, Rog,
if you want to know the truth--
458
00:21:57,783 --> 00:21:59,951
As you said, it was the wind.
459
00:21:59,951 --> 00:22:01,569
Of course.
460
00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:08,076
- Come on, Rog.
- All right.
461
00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:10,244
Oh, boy. Oh.
462
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,169
[Man]Bad news, Doctor.
463
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:21,973
- It's starting to spreadthrough the whole ward. - Ohh.
464
00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:24,675
I'd orderimmediate inoculationfor all the patients.
465
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,310
Gee.
466
00:22:30,098 --> 00:22:31,182
[TV off]
467
00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:40,942
What do you want, Ed?
468
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,661
Wilbur, is TV contagious?
469
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:45,280
Contagious?
470
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,448
I was watching City Hospital,
471
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:50,168
and I think
I caught chicken pox.
472
00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:52,336
A horse can't get chicken pox.
473
00:22:52,337 --> 00:22:55,039
Well, chickens don't get it.
474
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,208
That's right.
People get it.
475
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:59,377
Ohh. Ohh.
476
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,546
Well, if it's good enough
for people,
477
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:05,349
I guess it's
good enough for horses.
478
00:23:05,350 --> 00:23:08,603
Better call the vet, Wilbur.
479
00:23:08,603 --> 00:23:10,221
[scoffs]
480
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,941
Uh, is my head hot?
481
00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:17,278
You're all right, Ed.
482
00:23:17,279 --> 00:23:19,447
- [moaning]
- There's nothing wrong with you, Ed.
483
00:23:19,448 --> 00:23:21,066
All you need is exercise.
484
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,234
I receive so many lettersfrom you girls,
485
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,319
and the letterskind of go like this--
486
00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:25,953
Dear Jack LaLanne,
487
00:23:25,954 --> 00:23:27,572
please show us somethingto firm up the hips.
488
00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:29,740
All right. I want youto lie on your side,face me.
489
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,909
Then I want youto lift your leg upas high as you can...
490
00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:35,163
- Uh-oh.
- Ready? Begin.
491
00:23:35,163 --> 00:23:38,966
1 and 2. That's it.And higher. And down.
492
00:23:38,967 --> 00:23:41,135
Up, down. And rest.
493
00:23:41,136 --> 00:23:43,304
1, 2.That was fine. Perfect.
494
00:23:43,305 --> 00:23:44,923
- Mm-hmm.
- Now, the next movewe're gonna do,
495
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:46,557
we'll be standing on our feet,so everyone get up.
496
00:23:46,558 --> 00:23:48,176
Come on.Everyone, up on your feet.
497
00:23:48,176 --> 00:23:49,810
That's it.Up, up, up, up, up.
498
00:23:49,811 --> 00:23:51,429
We always have somebodythat's kind of a slow one.
499
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,598
- Get up. Up on your feet.
- Slow?
500
00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:54,682
Great. That's it.
501
00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:56,851
The next exerciseis dedicated to all of you
502
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,486
who want to havea lovelier neck--
503
00:23:58,487 --> 00:24:00,655
- That's for me.
- ...and a nice, firm chin.
504
00:24:00,655 --> 00:24:03,357
Let's all begin together.Ready? Go.
505
00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:06,611
1, 2.
506
00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:09,330
That's it. Slowly. And up.
507
00:24:09,331 --> 00:24:12,584
And down. And around.That's it.
508
00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:16,371
And 1. And 2.
509
00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:19,090
- Feel it? And 1.
- Great.
510
00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:21,792
- And 2.
- That feels good.
511
00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:23,427
The next exercisewe're gonna do
512
00:24:23,428 --> 00:24:25,046
is something to firm upthe waistline
513
00:24:25,046 --> 00:24:26,680
so you ckúan look much nicerin your clothes.
514
00:24:26,681 --> 00:24:28,299
- Gee.
- Here's how it goes.
515
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,468
We go first to the right,then to the left.
516
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:32,103
Now, you go with me.Ready? Begin.
517
00:24:32,103 --> 00:24:33,721
1, 2.
518
00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:37,525
- 1, 2. Right...
- Swing it, Jack.
519
00:24:37,526 --> 00:24:39,694
1, 2.
520
00:24:39,694 --> 00:24:41,862
Way out. And swing.
521
00:24:46,201 --> 00:24:48,369
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
522
00:24:48,370 --> 00:24:50,538
♪ And no one can talkto a horse, of course ♪
523
00:24:50,539 --> 00:24:52,707
♪ That is, of course,unless the horse ♪
524
00:24:52,707 --> 00:24:54,875
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
525
00:24:54,876 --> 00:24:57,044
♪ Go right to the sourceand ask the horse ♪
526
00:24:57,045 --> 00:24:58,129
♪ He'll give youthe answer ♪
527
00:24:58,129 --> 00:24:59,213
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
528
00:24:59,214 --> 00:25:01,382
♪ He's alwayson a steady course ♪
529
00:25:01,383 --> 00:25:03,551
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
530
00:25:03,552 --> 00:25:05,720
♪ People yakkity-yaka streak ♪
531
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,888
♪ And wasteyour time of day ♪
532
00:25:07,889 --> 00:25:09,523
♪ But Mister Edwill never speak ♪
533
00:25:09,524 --> 00:25:11,692
♪ Unless he hassomething to say ♪
534
00:25:11,693 --> 00:25:13,861
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
535
00:25:13,862 --> 00:25:16,030
♪ And this one will talktill his voice is hoarse ♪
536
00:25:16,031 --> 00:25:18,199
♪ You never heardof a talking horse? ♪
537
00:25:20,368 --> 00:25:23,070
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
538
00:25:23,071 --> 00:25:24,705
[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
539
00:25:24,706 --> 00:25:27,408
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
540
00:25:27,409 --> 00:25:30,128
[Man]This has beena Filmways presentation.
39995
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