All language subtitles for S3E24-EdTheEmancipator_Subttulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

"With malice toward none,
with charity for all."

Oh, that's beautiful.

I think I'll have
those words engraved on my saddle.

Good morning, Ed.

Morning.

What are you all made up for?

I was reading about
Abraham Lincoln.

Gee, Wilbur, I'd sure love
to be like him.

You tried growing a beard?

What's the use?
My whiskers grow on the wrong end.

I'm glad you feel
that way about Abraham Lincoln, Ed.

We should all try
to be more like him.

He said all men
are created equal.

That's right.

Does that go for horses, too?

Except at the racetrack
where they give odds.

♪ Glory, glory hallelujah ♪

♪ Glory, glory-- ♪

Ed.

- Wilbur.
- Hmm?

I picked up
Kay's birthday present.

Wow.

Wait'll you see it.

Oh, that's swell.

She's always wanted a pet.
She'll love this.

The man at the bird shop
said it was the smartest cockatoo he had.

Listen.
Happy Birthday, Kay.

Happy Birthday, Kay.

Ah... Happy Birthday, Kay.

Happy Birthday, Kay.

[squawks]

- Was it very expensive?
- $15.

Awk. $15. $15.

Oh, Wilbur, that could be
very embarrassing

if the bird said that
in front of Kay.

Yeah. Sort of
a talking price tag.

I'll fix that up.

$30. $30.

$15. $15.

[squawks]

I'll come down a little
if you'll come up a little.

I'll leave her here.

We'll give it to Kay
after breakfast tomorrow.

But that time,
maybe I can teach it

to walk in
with a birthday cake.

See you later, darling.

Okay. Come on, little guy.

Come on over here.

Got to admit it, Ed.

That's a pretty smart
little bird, huh?

Well, yeah.
He's a cute little fella.

[angry squawk]

Sorry, honey.

I meant a cute little miss.

Come on. Time for your bath.

Wait, Wilbur.

She, uh...

[whispers]

Oh, sorry.

- Thank you, Wilbur.
- I understand.

Come on, honey.
Try it again.

"Fourscore
and seven years ago."

Fourscore and seven--
[squawks]

Not "awk, awk."
Seven years. Years, stupid.

Uh, seven years. Years.

Yeah, that's better.

Stupid.

Don't be a wise guy.

Now let's try it again.

[squawks]

What's going on here?
What are you two arguing about?

She just won't learn
the Gettysburg Address.

Maybe Qshe's from Dixie.

I think she's from hunger.

Well, she won't be
getting into your hair much longer, Ed.

We're giving her to Kay today.

Oh, yeah?

I hope she gets enough to eat.

What do you mean?

You know Addison's
a cheapskate.

Awk. Addison's
a cheapskate. Addison's a cheapskate.

Why do you teach her that?

I want the kid to know
what she's up against.

There ought to be a law
against talking animals.

- Oh, yeah?
- [squawks]

Kay. Kay darling.

Yes?

Yes, doll?

Are you ill?

My dear, an indeterminate
number of years ago,

you made your entrance
into the world,

and to commemorate
the happy occasion,

I hereby present you
with this humble token of my affection.

Oh, Addison!

One earring?

There'll be other birthdays.

But, doll, when I checked
this jewel case last night,

it had two earrings.

Give Mother.

Real diamonds.

I could cry.

Go right ahead. I cried
when I signed the check.

[doorbell rings]

Darling, you stay here
and continue your little cry.

I'll answer it.

- Well, hello.
- Hi, Roger.

- Happy Birthday, Kay.
- Thank you, Carol.

[bird squawks]

Happy Birthday, neighbor.

Thank you, Wilbur.

- Here we are.
- What's that?

Wait a minute.

- Surprise for you.
- Wonderful.

There we are.

A cockatoo.
Oh, thank you both.

I've always wanted one.

Her name is Claudia.
She's a real good talker.

Right now, she's learning
the Gettysburg Address.

Better not learn this address

because she's not
going to be around here very long.

But, Addison, she's so cute.

Just wait till you hear her.

She talks beautifully.

Come on, Claudia.
Say something.

Addison's a cheapskate.
Addison's a cheapskate.

[squawks]

Addison's a cheapskate.

As I understand it,

they repeat only
what they've heard.

She didn't hear it from me.

Me, neither.

I'm no squealer.

She might've heard it
down at the bird farm.

You know how
those things get around.

Say "I'm sorry, Roger."

I'm sorry, Roger.

I'm sorry, Roger.

Mr. Addison to you.

[squawks]
Mr. Addison's a cheapskate.

Mr. Addison's a cheapskate.

Wilbur, I'm sure
that Kay appreciates

the sentiment behind
this little gift,

but considering the way
I feel about animals--

But, doll,
this isn't an animal. It's a talking bird.

There is just one word
I want to hear from it,

and that is "good-bye."

Nothing like
a nice family spat to clear the air.

[door slams]

We'll exchange it
for something else, Kay.

Oh, no, please.

Look, maybe if you
could keep Claudia over at your place

for a little while,
just till I break Addison down.

Break Addison down,
break Addison down.

[squawks]

Cheapskate, cheapskate.
Addison's a cheapskate.

"Our fathers brought forth
on this continent

a new nation
conceived in liberty."

Our fathers, our fathers.

[squawks]

Addison's a cheapskate,
Addison's a cheapskate.

I know that, I know that.

But let's stick to our lesson.

Would you two cut it out?
I'm trying to get some work done here.

She ought to learn
that speech, Wilbur.

She's an American.

You should be teaching her
"The Battle Hymn of the Republic."

Yeah. Why not?

[clears throat]

♪ Glory, glory hallelujah ♪

[both]
♪ Glory, glory hallelujah ♪

Okay, okay.

If you don't cut it out,
I'm going to separate you two.

That would be
a mistake, Wilbur.

As Abraham Lincoln said,

"A horse divided
against itself cannot stand."

Ed, I warn you.

Please, Wilbur.

Let's act with
malice toward none,

with charity for all.

Ed, Lincoln also said don't
swap horses in midstream.

Don't tempt me, Ed.
Don't tempt me.

[squawks]
Don't tempt me. Don't tempt me.

♪ Glory, glory hallelujah ♪

Ed, I warned you.

[both]
♪ Glory, glory hallelujah ♪

- Hi, Wilbur.
- Hello, Kay.

Thanks so much
for keeping Claudia.

Looks like you'll
have to return my birthday present.

Rog just won't
go for the bird, huh?

With a shotgun, yes.

My poor doll is afraid
of anything that has fins, feathers, or a tail.

Heaven only knows what started
this awful phobia.

Maybe when he was a kid,
his teddy bear bit him.

He says that
all animals are treacherous.

He really believes that?

He won't even
turn his back on a piggy bank.

I'm sorry, Wilbur,
but I'm afraid

you'll just have to
return Claudia.

Okay, we'll get you
something else. What would you like?

A man-eating lion,

and I've got
just the man for him.

Well, good-bye, Claudia.

- I'll tell Carol, okay?
- Okay.

Okay. Bye.

[squawks]
Good-bye, Claudia. Good-bye, Claudia.

[cage rattles]

In the name of
Abraham Lincoln,

I've set you free.

Ed!

What's the big idea?

In the words of
Abraham Lincoln,

no nation can endure
half slave, half free.

I lost 15 bucks.
You know what you just did?

The world will little note

or long remember
what I have done.

I have to get a horse
that thinks he's Abraham Lincoln.

You won't be satisfied
till you get shot.

- [Claudia squawks]
- [Addison yells]

Help, help!

You beast.

You vampire.

- I'll get you for this.
- What happened?

- I've been attacked.
- Attacked?

Your birthday present
bit me on the nose.

Wilbur, how did she
escape from her cage?

It wasn't an escape.
It was a liberation.

A sort of
flight to freedom.

Wilbur, I warn you.

If I come down with
bird poisoning, you'll hear from my lawyer.

There it goes again.

Keep it away from me.

Come on, Clyde Beatty.

Mother will bandage
your nose.

You believe this?

Wilbur, why did you let
the bird get away?

It wasn't me, it was Ed.

- Ed?
- Yeah.

Animals always try
to help each other out.

When Ed saw Claudia
in that cage,

he waited his chance,

and as soon as my back
was turned, jail break.

Sure. Ed slipped a file
into Claudia's birdseed.

Addison's a cheapskate,
Addison's a cheapskate.

Claudia, come here.

[squawks]

Where you going?

Let her go, Wilbur.

Claudia!

Now she belongs to the ages.

Addison.

Let's go to bed.

How can I go to bed

when that vulture
is lurking out there waiting for me?

Doll, it isn't a vulture.

It's just a harmless
little bird.

Harmless? Right now,
it's flying around with a piece of my nose

in its beak.

It's stifling in here.

Please open
one of the windows.

I tell you, Kay,
it's out there waiting.

Isn't it ridiculous,
Addison--

a grown-up man
terrorized by a little household pet?

[Claudia squawks]

Addison's a cheapskate,
Addison's a cheapskate.

[squawks]

It's back.

What are you doing?

Kay, I tell you,
there's got to be a showdown.

It is either
that monster or me.

[gun fires]

Now what happened?

That beast--

That beast tried to take
the gun away from me.

[doorbell rings]

Don't answer it.

Kay, Kay.
It may be a trap.

What? Do you honestly think
it's Claudia?

Any bird that can talk
can ring doorbells.

[doorbell rings]

What happened?

We were out on the patio,
we heard a shot.

You just missed
Billy the Kid's last... fight.

What are you doing
back there?

Nobody believes me,
but there's a vulture out there

with my name
on its beak.

But, Roger,
she's such a sweet, tame little bird.

Then why did it
bite my nose?

She comes from
South America.

She may have mistaken it
for a banana.

[squawks]

There it is again.
Shut that door.

Mr. Addison's
a cheapskate.

Where are you going?

I'm getting out of town.
I'm going to Palm Springs,

until Wilbur gets
that bat back in its cage.

Roger, look,
birds don't hold grudges.

Tomorrow morning,
you'll go out in the garden,

and the first thing
you know, she'll be eating your hand off.

Off your hand.

Meet me in the back, Kay.

If you want me, I'll be
at the Casa de la Luna.

Well, on account of you,
Mr. Lincoln,

Addison seceded
from the neighborhood.

He did?

That's right, Abe.

He left last night
for Palm Springs.

What's more, he even
threatens to put his house up for sale

unless I can get Claudia
back in her cage.

But, Wilbur,
birds don't belong in cages.

Remember, this is America.

♪ O beautiful,
for spacious skies ♪

[Ed and Claudia sing]
♪ For amber waves of grain ♪

[Claudia sings]
♪ O beautiful, for spacious skies ♪

That's where you're
hiding her.

Get out of my way.

Fly north, honey.
I'll fight off the rebels.

Hi, Rog?

Rog, you can come home now.

I caught Claudia
and took her back to the bird farm.

She's all locked up.

She couldn't get out now

if she had a brother
on the parole board.

Swell, Rog. See you
when you get back.

Well, Ed, you tried
to outsmart me, huh?

But I fooled you.

You can fool
all of the horses part of the time,

and part of the horses
all the time,

but you can't fool
this horse any time.

Abe Lincoln rides again.

In the name of
the great emancipator,

I hereby set
all you birds free.

I do hope Kay
likes this handbag we're giving her.

Kay will,
but Roger might not.

- Why not?
- It's alligator.

With his luck, there might
be a couple of bites left in it.

What time do you think
they'll be back?

Around 10:00.

I wish we'd thought
of this handbag before we bought Claudia.

That's past now, isn't it?

No use crying over
spilt birdseed.

Come on, kids.

Oh, boy,
what a chicken outfit.

Oh, you sound hungry.

Tell you what, kids.

The Addisons
are out of town.

I think their back door
is unlocked.

Let's go over and raid
their refrigerator.

Ready? Hup, 2, 3, 4.

Hup, 2, 3, 4.

Come on. Dig in, fellas.

There's plenty more
where this came from.

"Happy Birthday, Kay.

Love, Carol and Wilbur."

She ought to love
Carol and Wilbur,

considering
what that bag cost.

She'll flip over it.

[squawk]

- What was that?
- What?

Thought I heard a noise.

Addisons must be back.
I'll be right back.

Oh, honey,
I'll put on some coffee.

Invite them over.
I'm sure they'd like some.

Good idea. Be right back.

What's going on here?

Just feeding
a few liberty lovers.

Liberty lovers,
liberty lovers.

[squawks]

Ed, you flipped. You flipped.

What are you,
some kind of nut?

They were hungry, Wilbur.

[car approaches]

Excuse me.

It's Addisons.

He sees these birds here,
he'll kill me.

You'll be a martyr
in the cause of freedom.

Never mind that.
You get these birds out of here,

and get this place
cleaned up.

And go out the back way.

I'll try to stall Addison.

- Wilbur.
- Out the back way.

Look, if they aren't
out of here in one minute,

there'll be a new face
down at the animal shelter tomorrow.

Wilbur.

Hello, kids.
How was the trip?

Awful. Thanks to you,
my nerves are still shattered.

He had hallucinations
all the way home.

I still say I saw
a flying horse in the desert.

And I still say
it was a gas station.

It's nice to have you
back home again.

Carol's put some coffee on.
How about joining us?

Come on, doll.
I'm dying for a cup.

Come on, Rog.
No, thank you.

I'm exhausted.
I'm going inside and go to bed.

Then I'll go alone.
Excuse me.

Yeah. Look, Rog.
You got to come over for a little bit.

We want you to see
the surprise we got for Kay.

What is it this time,
a rattlesnake or a cobra?

- Alligator.
- What?

Handbag, handbag.

Come on. Rog.

Look, a nice,
warm cup of coffee

after a nice, hot trip.

I told you I'm exhausted.

Wilbur, I tell you,
it was awful. Just awful.

Coming through the desert,

I thought I saw--

As I was coming across
the desert, I thought I saw this eagle.

Is that a chicken
on your head?

No, Rog.

I need a long vacation.

Wilbur.

What ostrich?

How did you know
it was an ostrich?

You just said it.

I think I'll go to bed.

Oh.

Wilbur.

I didn't think so.

I think I'll get
a glass of milk and go to bed.

- I'll get it for you.
- No, no, no, no.

I'll get it myself.

No penguin?

See, you're starting
to improve.

Ed, I know you meant well,

but do you know
what would happen

if you freed all the birds
that are in cages?

What?

Some of them would
starve to death,

some would fall prey
to other animals.

Gee, Wilbur.

I might have
Lincoln's long legs,

but I'm sure short on
his brain.

Ed, you caused me
a lot of trouble,

but I admire you
for wanting to follow in the footsteps

of a great American
like Abraham Lincoln.

Say, Wilbur,
I've got four feet.

So what?

So I can follow in
Washington's footsteps at the same time.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man]
This has been a Filmways presentation.