All language subtitles for S3E19-EdAndTheSecretService_Subttulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

Your breakfast, sir.

[yawns]

Thank you, boy.

You know, I feel ridiculous,
but I made a bet and I lost,

so here's
your Sunday breakfast in bed.

Let's get a little light
in here.

I want to see
what you brought me.

Well, I'm sure you'll like it.

I have radishes and apples,
sliced carrots, celery,

turnips, and two lumps of sugar
without the coffee.

Uh-huh, yeah, excellent.

Thank you, sir.

Uh, just a minute, boy.

I got a little something
for you.

A dollar tip?

Where did you get money?

Your wife isn't the only one
who goes through your pockets.

- I never should bet with you.
- Hey.

But, you know, when we were
watching that race on television

and we each picked a horse,
I was sure mine would win.

He was the favorite.

Ah, Wilbur, you'll never learn.

It's bad enough to bet
with people on horses,

but never bet with a horse
on a horse.

Oh, you're right.

Ah, I'm really going
to enjoy this Sunday.

After breakfast,
I'm going right back to bed.

Well, that was part of the bet.
I promised you Sunday off.

And it wasn't easy, you know.

You see, ever since
Jacqueline Kennedy's picture

appeared in the paper
on a horse,

women all over have started
hunt clubs.

Even Kay and Carol
started one.

They wanted to use you
this morning.

Use me?

Oh, on my day off,
I wouldn't even allow

little Caroline on my back.

Boy, you are lazy.

Never mind.
Just feed me the carrots.

Yes, master.

You know, there used
to be a saying--

work like a horse.
I'd like to live like one.

Huh?

Uh, Wilbur, I'm waiting.

What for?

- The rest of the bet, please.
- Rest?

Ooh, yes. Sure, sure.

[clears throat]

Well...

Little Orphan Annie and Sandy,
you know,

are hanging over the cliff
when Daddy...

Ed? Ed?

Ed, what are you doing
down there?

[Ed grunts]

What a silly question.

Until you woke me up,
I was sleeping.

Is that all you're going
to do today?

Well, it's my day off.

I'm just going
to eat and sleep.

Eat and sleep.

That's going to get
a little monotonous.

Well, if it does,
I won't eat and sleep.

I'll change it.
I'll sleep and eat.

Agh.

Ah.

No sugar, Carol.

Oh, but, Kay,
you always take sugar.

But if I want to look like

Jacqueline Kennedy
in a riding habit,

first I have to break
the eating habit.

[Carol chuckles]

Oh, the hunt club
sounds like such fun.

I can't understand
why Wilbur won't join.

I thought you were going
to work on him last night.

I did.

I put on
my prettiest hostess gown,

daubed perfume
behind my ears,

sat in his lap,
and kissed him.

And he still said no?

Only to the hunt club.

How did you do with Roger?

I sat on his lap
last night, too.

Did you make an impression?

I'll say.

I crushed
his Wall Street Journal.

You mean Roger isn't interested
in the hunt club, either?

Not yet,

but you know, there might be
a chance he's with us.

I told him how handsome
he'd look in a hunting outfit.

Good morning, Kay.

- Hi there, Wilbur.
- Hi, hon.

Darling, I hate to keep nagging
about the hunt club, but--

Come on. Sit on my knee.

Nobody nags the way you do.

Wilbur, be serious.

You know, this hunt club
is just a fad.

You two girls have been copying
Jacqueline Kennedy again.

Wilbur, you'd look elegant
in a hunting outfit.

That's true.

But it's not going
to get me into one.

See, that's where we men
are different.

We're not like a bunch of sheep
following every fashion trend.

We're individuals.
We think for ourselves.

We-- We--

Tally ho.

Did anybody call a cab?

Wilbur is just jealous, Roger.

I'm so glad you decided
to join our club.

Oh, doll, I could kiss you.

Since I am the first masculine
member of the club,

I have decided
to be hound master.

I also have a bugle.

That bugle will blow,
and I think I will. Bye.

Oh, Wilbur, why are you
being so obstinate?

After all, Roger, Kay, and I
have to rent horses.

You have Mister Ed.

Well, it's Ed's day off.

Day off from what?

Uh--

The way you pamper him,

I'm surprised you don't push him
around in a baby carriage.

Well, Ed is our first horse.

I think it's a shame

the way you let that horse
wrap you around his tail.

Now, honey.

I admit that Ed doesn't do
the things I tell him

and that he likes
to lie around the barn and eat

and sleep.

Eat and sleep. Eat and sleep
and eat and sleep.

And I'm going to join
that hunt club of yours.

Ed, I--

Ed, where are you?

Ed?

Now where is that lazy horse?

[snoring]

My little cucaracha,
I have news for you.

You will wake up, yes.

I will wake up, no.

If you only want to know
who has a siesta

before taking a nap--

Come on, Ed.
Get up out of there.

Come on. Get up
out of there, Ed.

Look at this pillow.

[Ed grunts]

Ed, I know I promised
you could take the day off,

but I have just joined
the hunt club.

Uh, that's good.

Now, go hunt for a horse.

Oh, come on, Ed. Come on.

[Ed groans]

It's about time
you did something around here.

I feed you
and I take care of you

and I'm going to ride you.

Wilbur,
check with me on Monday

when I'm open for business.

Oh, Ed, you'll love it,

running through those fields,
jumping the fences,

galloping across the meadows.

Hold it. Hold it.
Let's get back to those fences.

Which one of us
is going to jump them?

Both of us.

And don't tell me
to get on the bottom.

And how high are the fences?

Ooh, about 4 or 5 feet.

Oi.

Look, Ed, what are you?
Scared? Yellow?

Frightened? A coward?

I'm in there someplace.

Darling, may I please
have the checkbook?

Kay and I are going to pick up
our riding habits.

You know, this is getting
to be expensive.

I wonder if Lady Godiva's
husband had a checkbook.

Well, I suppose I could
save some money

if you wanted me to wear
the same kind of outfit she did.

Oh, no, we're after foxes,
not wolves.

I've got a wonderful man.

Tell him I paid
for the outfit.

Tally ho, dear.

Ed, I've had enough of this.

Carol has her heart set
on the hunt club,

and so you and I are going
to go out--

Oh, no.

[snoring]

No matter what I have to do,

you are going
to learn to jump.

All right, come on.
Off your enchilada.

Up. Rise and shine.
Come on.

There is a picture
of the first lady.

You notice how relaxed she is
as she takes that high jump?

Yeah, she's relaxed,

but that horse
sure looks nervous.

Oh, Ed, you are going
to try this.

It's only 2 feet high,
all right?

Now, go.

Ed, I said go.

Oh, come on, Ed, go.

It takes me a little time
to get my motor running.

You are not
getting out of this.

Okay, if I'm going to do it,
I'm going to do it right.

Raise that bar 2 more feet.

All right.

All right, Ed.

And now raise it 1 more foot.

Good boy.

Here you are, Ed.

That's fine.

Now I can walk under it.

Oh, no.

Look, will you jump over it
if I promise to catch you?

Wilbur, I can't jump.

Now, don't say that.
Think positive.

All right, I'm positive
I can't jump.

I'll show you myself
how easy it is.

Now, give me some room.
Stand back.

Now, there's nothing to be
afraid of, Ed.

I wouldn't ask you
to do anything

that I wouldn't do myself.

Now, the main principle
in jumping

is get plenty of speed
and leap, leap.

The main thing is
to have confidence.

If you're sure of yourself,
that's all you need to know.

Okay, now. Give me
a good start, will you?

Just say go.

Go.

I give up.

What's the name of the game
we're playing?

I was teaching
my horse to jump.

What horse?

Ed.

I don't see him.

Well, he was just here.

Wilbur, I have news for you.

Your horse isn't here,
and you're not all there.

Ed, down at the camera store,

they told me this was a film
of horses jumping.

Once you've seen it,

you'll have
all the confidence you need.

Ho-hum.

Now, don't be stubborn.
Turn around.

You know I can't watch a movie
without popcorn.

Ed, stop acting like a child.

Now, watch.

See how simple it is, Ed?

You just tuck
the front legs under

and let your powerful haunches

lift you lightly and gracefully
over the obstacle,

clearing it neatly as you--

[Ed]
Ha ha.

Uh-oh.

Ow.

That's supposed to give me
confidence?

I didn't know
it was a steeple chase.

At least I hope
you noticed their form.

Yeah, I saw their form.

It's sprawled
all over the track.

Hey, Ed, look,
a fox hunt is different.

Okay, let the foxes
do the jumping,

and they can chase me.

The first lady started
this jumping fad.

The whole country's
going for it.

And this afternoon,
you are jumping.

If the first lady
wants to ride,

why doesn't she ride
a car or a bike

or roller skates
or an elephant?

I got to get her off
this horse kick,

or all my grandchildren
will have flat feet.

[Woman]
Operator.

Operator, get me

the White House
in Washington, D.C.

White House.

Hello, is the lady
of the house in?

Who's calling, please?

Honey, you're better off
not asking

because you'd
never believe it.

I must have your name, sir.

Okay, it's Ed.

Your last name?

In my family,
we only have first names.

Sir, I'm very busy.
We really can't waste any time.

Look, lady,
I happen to represent

a very large group
in this country.

Who?

Horses.

Horses?

I represent
the horses of America.

What is it you want to discuss
with the lady of the house?

I just want to tell her
to stop what she's doing

because we won't stand for it.

I think I'm going to switch
this one to the Secret Service.

This TWIX just came
in from Washington.

We have to check out
a local crank.

Another old lady wants Pasadena
to secede from the Union?

No, this one's worse.

Some guy named Post
called the White House.

Says he represents
the horses of America.

[chuckles]

That's quite a riding outfit.

Thank you.

I just want you to know
that for the first time,

I am going riding without you.

You're going
to look awful silly

jumping over those fences
without a horse.

Well, I have news for you, Ed.
I don't need you.

I've hired some horses,

and they're in front
of the house right now.

Uh, Wilbur,

that's a pretty nasty thing
to do to those horses.

What is?

Horses are made
for eating and sleeping,

not for jumping fences.

Tally ho.

Girls, we're ready.
What's holding you up?

[Carol]
We'll be right down.

I can't get over
that snappy outfit, Rog.

One look at you, and the fox
will jump right into your lap.

When I was a bachelor,

that wasn't all
that jumped into my lap.

When you were a bachelor--

♪ [trumpet]

Excuse me, ladies.

Carol! Kay!

The president's wife and sister
are down here.

Wilbur, it's me.

No.

Oh.

[chuckles]

What did the wig cost?

$175.

It's revolting on you.

- I rented it for $5.00.
- You look great.

Look, I'll get my camera
and meet you out front.

I want a picture of the fox
laughing himself to death.

Those poor horses.

I'm not going to let them
jump any fences.

What did the neighbor say
about Post's character?

That's it. They said
he's a character.

He must be,
having an office in the barn.

Maybe he thinks he's a horse.

This must be the phone
he used to make the call.

We better bug this place

and drive around front
so we can listen in on our boy.

I'm striking
a blow for freedom.

Take the day off.

Giddy-up. Go. Live.

Now I know
how Abe Lincoln felt.

The horses.

Where--

That must be the kook.

He's on his way to the barn.

Better flip on the switch.

Ed, admit it.

You got rid of those three
out front, didn't you?

I sure did, and I don't care
how many more you hire.

I'll get rid of them, too.

Bob, this may be bigger
than we thought.

Nothing is going to help you.
You are going through with it.

I am not. It's too dangerous.

If you don't,
I'll get rid of you

the same way
you got rid of them.

I think we've heard enough.

Let's go.

Uh, Wilbur, let's stop arguing.
I'm not jumping.

Let's face it. I got a horse
that's part chicken.

That's right.

Hmm, well, I'm going
to phone the stable

and get four more horses.

Who are you calling?

Well, I was just calling
the stable

because we need a horse.

Matter of fact, we need
four horses because we're--

The Secret Service?

The Secret Service.

All right, where is he?

- Where's who?
- The other man.

There was another man in here?

Sure.

I'll help you look.

Two men in here.

- Two men now?
- Yeah.

Well, who was the first one?

- You.
- Me?

- Well, who are we looking for?
- The other man.

What other man?

Ed, the fellow you threatened
to get rid of.

Now, where is he?

- Ed?
- Yes.

He's in the stall.

There's nobody in here.
What did you do with him?

Nothing. He's standing there
staring at you.

The horse?

Yes.

Now, what is this all about?

Somebody used this phone
to call Washington

to talk to the First Lady.

[Wilbur]
Oh.

Are you sure it was
made on that phone?

Yes, Mr. Post,
and you're in trouble

unless you can explain
that call.

Well, it's, um-
It's not going to be easy.

It never is.

The call might have been
made on this phone,

- but I didn't make it.
- Then who made it?

That's the part that's
not going to be easy.

Try us.

Well, you're not going
to believe this

because nobody
would believe it.

Go on, Mr. Post.

My horse made that phone call.

Why did you say nobody
would believe that?

Then you believe it?

Well, we're listening anyway.

But it's true.

My horse talks.

Oh, well, that's easy.

All we have to do
is hear him talk.

Go ahead, horse.
Say something.

Oh, it's no use.
He only talks to me.

Then you ask him
to say something.

All right. Ed.

Please?

Oh, I forgot. He's mad at me.

That sounds reasonable.

Look, gentlemen, it's true.

My-- My horse made
that phone call.

Sure, sure.

But there's just
one little thing that bothers me.

How did he dial?
With his tail?

Oh, no, not with his tail.

That's funny,
but no, no, no. Here.

Oh, you see,
this is how he does it.

He picks the phone up
with his teeth, like this.

And he puts it down.

Then he takes the pencil
in his mouth,

and he just dials the number.

He just dials the number,
like that.

I know this looks
strange to you,

but aside from my horse,

we're just a peaceful,
average American family.

Wilbur, where are the horses?

Oh, pardon me.

Uh, gentlemen,
I'd like you to--

This is my wife, Carol.

No, I'm Kay.
There's your wife.

Oh. Oh, yes.
This is my wife.

The reason I was mixed up

is because they're
both Jacqueline.

What I'm trying to say is--

Girls, this is
the Secret Service.

Oh, you dolls, you came here
to find our horses.

That was quick service.

How did they know
they were gone?

I wonder who else
is normal around here.

Well, I'm ready for the hunt.

Who are you, sir?

I am Roger Addison,
hound master.

Roger, these gentlemen
are investigating us.

Well, I-- I--

I didn't think I was playing

loudly enough to disturb
the neighbors.

Look, I don't know
what's going on around here,

but we've got to get
to the bottom of it

or Mr. Post is
in serious trouble.

Now, please sit down,
everybody.

So, you see, that's why
we've got to find out

who made that phone call
to Washington

to try to talk
to the First Lady.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Hello, Secret Service?

Yes?

I've got a confession to make.

Yes?

Wilbur Post is innocent.

I made that phone call
to Washington.

You did?

Yeah, I'll give you
the exact words.

I said "I'm talking
for the horses of America."

Those were the exact words.
Why did you say that?

I'm Ed. I'm a horse,
and I talk.

Bob, what's wrong?
Who was it?

We better write this case off.

Good-bye, folks,

and, uh, happy
whatever it is you're doing.

- Bye.
- Bye. Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Yes, nice of you to drop by.

Bob, what was it?

Who was on the phone?

It was that voice
we heard in the car.

That Ed fellow, he, um--

He said he's a horse
and that he talks.

You know something?

I think we're the victims
of a big joke.

Why not?

Post works in the barn.
The horse lives in the house.

Wilbur?

Come on, honey.
We're all ready to go riding.

I'll be out
in a minute, dear.

Okay. Oh, by the way,
please be more careful, dear.

You tracked up the carpet
in the living room.

Tracked up the carpet?

That was my fault, Wilbur.

I forgot to clean
my horse shoes before I went in.

You were in my living room?

Well, who do you think
phoned the Secret Service?

[chuckles]

Oh, Ed.

Oh, by the way,
when we get out there,

you won't be afraid to jump,
will you?

There's one consolation
if we go down,

[both]
we go down together.

I know, Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man]
This has been a Filmways presentation.