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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:07,607 . 2 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:11,077 [soft music] 3 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,313 - The gifted young lady didn't know what to do. 4 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,449 Should she fly off to Hollywood for the big audition? 5 00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,318 Or should she stay in Toledo 6 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,354 for a high-school production of "Damn Yankees?" 7 00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:22,689 So she asked her father. 8 00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:25,191 And her father replied, 9 00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:27,460 "What do you think is the right decision?" 10 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,462 And she answered... 11 00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:32,732 all: I think I made a commitment... 12 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,568 So I probably can't break that. 13 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,170 - Yes, children! 14 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,738 - But what about the big audition? 15 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,473 - Why, she taped it herself 16 00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,509 and mailed it off to Los Angeles. 17 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,310 Eh, it was a long shot. 18 00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,279 But if you don't dream... 19 00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:51,751 all: You'll never know if your dreams can happen. 20 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,754 And when Kevin Williamson from the WB received the tape, 21 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,657 he knew he had found his star. 22 00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,160 And the tomboy, best-friend role 23 00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:02,562 of little Joey Potter on "Dawson's Creek" 24 00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:05,231 would be played by Toledo's very own 25 00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:07,701 Katie Holmes. all: Yay! 26 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,235 [Ramones' "Listen to My Heart"] 27 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,603 - One, two, three, four! 28 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,273 - ♪ Next time, I'll listen to my heart ♪ 29 00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,775 ♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪ 30 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:22,782 ♪ 31 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,384 - Good morning, Whitlock, 32 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,519 and a happy Katie Holmes Day Eve to you all. 33 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,688 Tomorrow night the city of Toledo 34 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,758 will hold the annual Katie Holmes Day Pageant. 35 00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:35,261 Please donate any items you can for the rummage sale. 36 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,697 All proceeds go to the local orphanage. 37 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,400 And as always, dream big. 38 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,434 Katie did. 39 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,439 - Are you sure you want to give your boys away? 40 00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:47,741 - I think they're worth a bunch. 41 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,510 So who am I to keep this from happening? 42 00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:52,345 - Oh. 43 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,714 [indistinct chatter] 44 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,683 [sighs] 45 00:01:58,318 --> 00:01:59,519 [sighs] 46 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,258 Katie provides. [chuckles] 47 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,228 [upbeat folk music] 48 00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:12,665 ♪ 49 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:15,669 ♪ See the Katie, hear her sing ♪ 50 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:18,705 ♪ In every musical, fall and spring ♪ 51 00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:21,708 ♪ She had a commitment she couldn't break ♪ 52 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:24,444 ♪ So she sent a tape 53 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,846 ♪ 54 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,549 - I can't believe it's already Katie Holmes Eve. 55 00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:31,317 I barely slept last night. 56 00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:34,487 - Oh, me neither! I knutted all night. 57 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:35,522 - Don't you mean knit? 58 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:36,589 - Yeah, past tense. 59 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,291 You don't say, "I digged a hole." 60 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,393 Anyway, I could not sleep. 61 00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:42,328 And so I knutted for hours. 62 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,597 And usually when I knut, you know, I fall straight asleep. 63 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,367 But I was so excited, I just knutted again. 64 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,601 - Sounds like me this weekend. 65 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:49,736 - I don't get it. 66 00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,304 - Good morning, everybody. 67 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,605 Hey, where do I drop off these donations? 68 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:53,740 - Oh, I'll take those. 69 00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:54,741 - Yeah? Great. 70 00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:55,775 - Whoa, "Pieces of April." 71 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,510 Nice. - Oh. 72 00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,779 - Very on-brand for our Katie Holmes Day rummage sale. 73 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:03,316 - What do you mean-- No. This is a real thing? 74 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,618 Katie Holmes Day? 75 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,387 You're t--so all of Toledo 76 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,689 is just sort of unironically celebrating an actress 77 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,292 who's face, you know, to be quite honest, 78 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:13,626 I have trouble remembering? 79 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,562 She's just like a--like a... 80 00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,364 an adorable white girl with like a... 81 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,499 you know, just a face and hair and eyes. 82 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,533 - Yeah, that's her. 83 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,634 - Oh, my God. That's right. 84 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:22,702 You've been gone 20 years. 85 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:25,372 You don't know anything about Katie Holmes Day. 86 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:28,708 It's--it's a celebration of--of dream and wonder. 87 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,644 You're gonna hate it. 88 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:34,314 - Happy Katie Holmes Day Eve, Jack. 89 00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:35,715 [all chuckling] - Yeah. 90 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,651 - Listen, I need the keys to the driver's ed car. 91 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,654 It's the base for the float in our Katie Holmes Day parade. 92 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,491 The student council made a replica 93 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,359 out of papier-mâché of the Buick 94 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,894 that Katie drove in high school. 95 00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:50,463 - Well, you know, the driver's ed car is a Buick, 96 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,532 so you could just drive that. 97 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:56,536 [all laughing] 98 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,838 - [laughing] That's so funny, Jack. 99 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,474 Hers was a '94 with a dent in the hood. 100 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,576 - The 2007 Buick 101 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,879 does not represent Katie's humble beginnings. 102 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,415 [all laughing] - Okay. 103 00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,749 - A Holmes on your head. 104 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,885 - Nope. - Oh. 105 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,420 [phone ringing] 106 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:14,821 - Whitlock High? 107 00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:16,956 It's Mayor Wade CupsofCabbage. 108 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,591 - I'll take it in my office. 109 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:22,662 [suspenseful music] 110 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,699 Mayor CupsofCabbage. Hey-- 111 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,469 Yes, you--you want me to be in the--in the pageant? 112 00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:31,571 [mouthing words] 113 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:35,508 Yes--yes, it would be an honor to play Kevin Williamson, 114 00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,445 the man who launched Katie Holmes's career. 115 00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,914 And I will not let you down this time. 116 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:41,981 [phone receiver clatters] 117 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,583 He's giving me a second chance. 118 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,884 - Yes! 119 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,886 - What if I choke? - You can do this, Ralph. 120 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,688 I believe in you. 121 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,990 It is just one line. It's ten words. 122 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,726 "Hello, Katie. 123 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,628 You are Joey Potter. Welcome to 'Dawson's Creek.'" 124 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,797 You need to immerse yourself in this character. 125 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,500 For the next 24 hours, you're gonna be 126 00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:03,003 a Hollywood slick hotshot. 127 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,804 - I don't know. 128 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,539 Unless... 129 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,842 ♪ 130 00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,577 California Raisin. 131 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:14,481 - Oh! I've got goose bumps! 132 00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:17,951 Make me famous, Mr. Producer. 133 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,588 ♪ 134 00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:22,722 - All right. 135 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,558 Go ahead and shut all the way up. 136 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:26,693 Where's my garbage? 137 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:28,795 - We're using it as a bucket of fate. 138 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,731 - Yeah, in one bucket, there's sweet pudding, 139 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,668 representing a tasty dream come true. 140 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,703 And in the other, a baby crab-- 141 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,705 its pinchers, a stark reminder 142 00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,874 that chasing your dreams can hurt. 143 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,476 - Got it. 144 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,978 - Sweet chocolate pudding! 145 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,881 Papa's gonna be a backup singer for Lizzo! 146 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,582 [cheers and applause] 147 00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:50,784 - [laughs] Guys. 148 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,519 Ah, I got to say. 149 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,721 This holiday is, uh-- and I don't say this lightly-- 150 00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:55,955 bonkers. 151 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,024 - Point, counterpoint, Mr. Griffin, 152 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,793 it's actually not. 153 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:00,794 - Yeah. 154 00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,829 At 8:47 tomorrow night, 155 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,798 you kiss someone on the forehead 156 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:07,934 because that's when Katie had the talk with her wise dad 157 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,969 which he ended with a forehead kiss. 158 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,771 - Right. 159 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,574 - The entire holiday culminates in a glorious pageant. 160 00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:15,875 I've always wanted to play Katie Holmes, 161 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:16,976 and I think this is the year. 162 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,078 - Oh. 163 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,612 And we make wish lists addressed 164 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:20,814 to Katie in Hollywood, 165 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:21,981 put them in our shoes, 166 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,750 and leave them in our front porches. 167 00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:24,984 - And the next morning, 168 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,620 there's a fresh blueberry muffin in each shoe. 169 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,756 - So shoe muffins. 170 00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,091 Got it. Yeah. 171 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,092 And you all do this? 172 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,560 - Oh. Not me. 173 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:34,928 I don't celebrate Katie Holmes Day. 174 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,696 - Oh, finally, a sane person. 175 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,565 - My family celebrates Jamie Farr Day. 176 00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:41,501 My dad says that's Toledo's original top celebrity. 177 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,571 - So there's also a Klinger from "MASH" holiday. 178 00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,006 - A world without Katie Holmes Day 179 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,774 is a world I don't want to live in. 180 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,777 - I like the sound of that. 181 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:52,645 Tell me more of these traditions. 182 00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:55,749 [dramatic music] 183 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,083 ♪ 184 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,686 - Sorry I'm late. - Damn, girl. 185 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:02,856 A 55-inch flat screen TV? - Oh-- 186 00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,724 - That is gonna bring in so much money. 187 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,892 Forget porridge. 188 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:06,993 Those orphans are about to have some 189 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,129 R-r-r-r-regular soup. - Okay! 190 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,864 - Uh, actually, this is-- 191 00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,599 - A gift from an angel. 192 00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,868 - [exhales awkwardly] That is so sweet. 193 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:17,671 But it--it's not a big deal. 194 00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:18,738 - And she's humble. - Mm. 195 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:19,773 - Amazing. 196 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:20,907 Mommy Warbucks. - Mm-hmm. 197 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,809 A regular Mother Toledo. 198 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:23,977 - Oh. 199 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:26,546 - [cackling] Yes. 200 00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:27,747 Yeah--oh, good. 201 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,616 Very good. 202 00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:31,885 Yes. 203 00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,920 - I'd like to believe you have a genuine interest 204 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,155 in this beloved holiday, 205 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,923 but your maniacal cackling 206 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,159 has made me fear you're planning something nefarious. 207 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,928 - Your fears are... 208 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,663 completely founded. 209 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,099 - Oh, I just thought of another tradition. 210 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,601 It's the one where people who don't love the holiday 211 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,703 just don't participate, 212 00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,905 and let the ones that really [bleep] love it enjoy it. 213 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,175 - Can we swear now? 214 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,609 [cell phone vibrating] 215 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,811 - Oh, shut up. Shut up. 216 00:07:57,844 --> 00:08:00,613 Shut up, everybody. Shut up. [phone continues vibrating] 217 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,016 Oh, Mayor CupsofCabbage, what a pleasant surprise. 218 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,586 I'm sorry. Come again. 219 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:10,090 And a-a third time, 'cause it's insane. 220 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,558 I see. 221 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,564 [straining] 222 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,701 - I don't think that's coming off. 223 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,939 - That dumb-ass mayor cast me 224 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,708 as the lame WB assistant in the stupid pageant 225 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,877 for the sixth year in a row. 226 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:34,681 - Well, to be fair, you do give off strong assistant vibes. 227 00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,683 - Just once I want to be Katie 228 00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,918 and say the big final line. 229 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,086 It's bullshit. 230 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,822 - That's one A-word, one F-word, 231 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,691 and one B-S-H word. 232 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,159 - Guys, Marissa's right, all right? 233 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,894 This holiday is a complete sham. 234 00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,829 - Mr. Griffin, is it fair to say 235 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,132 that you have an especially large chip on your shoulder 236 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,234 because a Toledoan from your peer group 237 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:57,837 went on to achieve her dreams and you're, you know, here? 238 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,972 - No, Marcus. 239 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:00,874 My problem is that you all believe 240 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:03,710 a doe-eyed actress can make your dreams come true. 241 00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,845 It doesn't work that way. W-w-watch. 242 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,981 Please, Katie Holmes, 243 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,850 let me spend five more minutes with my dead mother. 244 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,953 [soft music] 245 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,723 Did she--is she here? My mother, is she here? 246 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,725 Oh, she isn't? Yeah-- No, Because it doesn't work. 247 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,126 - Well, give her time. 248 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,162 She has thousands of homes to visit. 249 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,264 - Marissa... 250 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,834 we're gonna destroy Katie Holmes Day. 251 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:30,637 - Holy shit ass dick fart. 252 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:35,275 . 253 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,211 [dramatic music] 254 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,112 ♪ 255 00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:42,015 [engine turning over] 256 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,783 - Let's do this. 257 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,020 ♪ 258 00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:48,121 [school bell ringing] 259 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:51,057 - Ralph, the football team wants real energy drinks. 260 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,860 They figured out that Gatorade Clear's just water. 261 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,929 - That's it. 262 00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,130 A football show. 263 00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,832 I can see it now. 264 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,066 - [imitating spoiled daughter] Oh, pwetty pwease, 265 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,036 can I be in your sports show? 266 00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,771 [normal voice] I'm your spoiled daughter 267 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,206 that benefits from your success. 268 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,341 [imitating daughter] Come on. - Oh, of course, princess. 269 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,076 Give me some of that sugar that Daddy likes. 270 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,112 - Oh. Mwah! 271 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,948 - This feels like an HR trap. 272 00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:18,018 [indistinct chatter] 273 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,853 - Oh. For reals? 274 00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:21,087 An old Garfield phone? 275 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,223 Mary, can you believe this? 276 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,258 - Uh, I cannot, Stephanie. 277 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,160 Considering this queen right here 278 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,195 just donated a flat screen TV 279 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,297 for the Katie Holmes Day rummage sale. 280 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:34,067 - I think the phone's fun. 281 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,870 - Hello, Garfield? Oh, well, it's me, an orphan. 282 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,838 Oh, you love lasagna? Funny. 283 00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,074 I've never had lasagna, and I never will 284 00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,976 because we didn't raise any damn money 285 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,377 with your sorry-ass phone. 286 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,380 [all laughing] 287 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:50,350 Oh, and I am encouraged. Who's next? 288 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,018 - Do me. Do me! 289 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,820 I brought stained Tupperware. Ooh. 290 00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,255 Give it to me. 291 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,157 - [imitating spoiled daughter] You said I'd be a star. 292 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,125 You lied to me, Daddy. 293 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,995 - It was never you. It was these pills! 294 00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,129 - [sobbing] 295 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,799 - Hey. Can you sign off on payroll? 296 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,034 - Intern, you're the star now. 297 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:10,236 - Not sure what this is, but... 298 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,371 I am in. 299 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,307 Step aside, sister. 300 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,377 [old-fashioned voice] ♪ Well, it's a big old trolley ♪ 301 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,079 ♪ Coming around the bend 302 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,247 - And feast your peepers on something you never had-- 303 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,882 talent! 304 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,050 [cackles] 305 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,252 Faster. [cackling] 306 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,955 both: Ha ha! Yes. [laughter] 307 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,824 - Oh, who we got up next? 308 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,092 - [chuckles] I drew this. 309 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:36,062 It's, uh, Catty Holmes from "Pawson's Creek." 310 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,932 [chuckles nervously] 311 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:42,102 - Oh, wow. Dave, we love it. 312 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,903 - Yeah? Really? 313 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,939 - This is original art. It's really good. 314 00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:47,140 - We're gonna frame it 315 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,942 and give it directly to the orphans 316 00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,910 and bring a little joy into their lives. 317 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,278 - Really? 318 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,914 both: Hell, no! Boom! 319 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,017 [all laughing] 320 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,886 - And that is our time, all right? 321 00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,454 So feel free to join us tomorrow 322 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:02,989 at the rummage sale 323 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,091 and come and witness the chump change 324 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:08,194 that your crappy-ass donations will surely bring in. 325 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,229 - Yeah. [laughter] 326 00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:10,463 - Ooh, ooh. 327 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,932 And stick around for our first-ever live auction, 328 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,168 where you'll get the opportunity to make a bid 329 00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,337 on the greatest donation of all time. 330 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:18,905 You know what it is? 331 00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:22,008 all: This TV right here! 332 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:24,944 [cheers and applause] 333 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,215 - Yeah-- 334 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,417 - No, no, no! No. 335 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,319 Oh, I-I got it. I-I want to carry it myself. 336 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,955 Uh, for the children. 337 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,892 Okay. 338 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,994 [groaning] Legs! 339 00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:43,897 [Tom Waits' "Telephone Call from Istanbul"] 340 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:50,036 ♪ 341 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:55,909 - ♪ I was all night long on the broken glass ♪ 342 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,944 ♪ Living in a medicine chest 343 00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:00,447 ♪ Mediteromanian hotel back 344 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,116 ♪ Sprawled across a roll-top desk ♪ 345 00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,517 ♪ My pet old monkey rode a blade ♪ 346 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,120 ♪ On an overhead fan 347 00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,356 ♪ They paint the donkey blue if you pay ♪ 348 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,492 ♪ I got a telephone call from Istanbul ♪ 349 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:15,128 ♪ My baby's coming home today ♪ 350 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:17,297 ♪ Will you sell me one of those ♪ 351 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,398 ♪ If I shave my head? 352 00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,401 ♪ "Get me out of town" is what Fireball said ♪ 353 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,404 ♪ Never trust a man in a blue trench coat ♪ 354 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,373 ♪ Never drive a car when you're dead ♪ 355 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,341 - [cackling] 356 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,344 - ♪ Saturday's a festival, oh, now Saturday's a gem ♪ 357 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,413 [both cackling] 358 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:36,282 ♪ Follow me to Beulah's on Dry Creek Road ♪ 359 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,285 ♪ I got to wear the hat that my baby done sewed ♪ 360 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,988 ♪ 361 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,289 [school bell ringing] - Good morning, Whitlock. 362 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,425 In honor of Katie Holmes Day, 363 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:48,395 I am going to climb in through this window, 364 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:51,297 just like Katie did on "Dawson's Creek." 365 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,035 So... here we go. 366 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,505 Okay. Oh. 367 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,540 [grunts] 368 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:03,510 Okay. Ah. 369 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,179 Ow, my keys! Oh, God. 370 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:08,181 Okay. Okay. 371 00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,483 [grunting] 372 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:14,054 Oh, my God. [grunts] 373 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:17,090 Well, I come bearing bad news. 374 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:20,293 The school's Buick float for the Katie Day parade 375 00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,462 has been stolen. 376 00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:25,498 So, instead, I ask all of you 377 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,401 to walk in the parade arm in arm. 378 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:32,238 Let's make tonight the best Katie Holmes Day pageant ever! 379 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,608 - Well, looks like someone unwittingly made 380 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,444 the holiday even more heartwarming. 381 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:40,046 - Oh, don't worry. There's so much more coming. 382 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,482 - Last night my shoes were stolen from my porch. 383 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:46,319 And lo, not two, but three muffins. 384 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,587 - No, no. 385 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,123 No, you said that you put the wishes in the shoes, 386 00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,359 and then Katie turns the wishes into muffins. 387 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,494 Ergo, no shoes, no muffins. 388 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,628 - [distantly] ♪ See the Katie 389 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,530 ♪ Hear her sing 390 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,265 ♪ And every musical - Yo. 391 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,201 The jug band's singing a capella. 392 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,236 - They sound smooth as hell. 393 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,306 - Jug, you know that new sound you've been looking for? 394 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,274 Well, listen to this. 395 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,043 - Another miracle. 396 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:13,513 Mr. Griffin, may we go bask in their newfound glory? 397 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:16,649 - Feel free to leave my class at any time for any reason. 398 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:22,589 ♪ 399 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:25,425 - We took everything, and the day came. 400 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:28,361 It came just the same. 401 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:31,131 I'm gonna have to play WB assistant 402 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,500 and say that stupid line the rest of my life. 403 00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,103 - What exactly is your line? 404 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,039 - "Mr. Williamson will see you now." 405 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:45,178 - So, if Katie doesn't meet with Mr. Williamson, 406 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:48,214 then her dreams don't come true, and... 407 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,150 if her dreams don't come true... 408 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:53,353 - Then there's no Katie Holmes Day. 409 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,689 - [laughing wickedly] 410 00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,224 Yeah. 411 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,295 - Well, hey, now. We all know why we're here. 412 00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:06,299 Please give it up for Michelle Patricia Jones 413 00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,535 and her donation of... 414 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,237 all: This TV right here! 415 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,407 [all cheering] 416 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,575 - [sighs] I'm dead. 417 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,577 I'm dead. I'm dead. 418 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,447 - We will start the bidding at $500. 419 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,549 Ooh, okay. We have $500. 420 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,418 Now do I see a $550? 421 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,454 $550 from Where's Waldo over there. 422 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,390 And, Waldo, hey. I see you, okay? 423 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,559 $550 going once. 424 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:35,195 Going twice... 425 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,730 - $600! 426 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:39,499 - Okay--ladies and gentlemen, I do not believe this. 427 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,736 But this queen right here is bidding on her own donation! 428 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,738 - $700! 429 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,406 - $750! 430 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,341 - $1,000! 431 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,710 [crowd murmuring] 432 00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:53,380 $1,000 of my own money. 433 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,614 both: Sold! 434 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,483 [cheers and applause] 435 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,519 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. [muttering angrily] 436 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,461 [doorbell rings] 437 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,630 - A blessed day. 438 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,732 I just bought this holiday classic 439 00:17:12,766 --> 00:17:14,434 at the rummage sale. 440 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,635 And much to my surprise, 441 00:17:15,669 --> 00:17:19,272 the tape inside-- it's an old home video. 442 00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,174 Might you have the movie 443 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,376 I so graciously purchased for $1.50? 444 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,711 - Nope. 445 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,780 Now, if you could so graciously get out of my way, 446 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,248 I've got a pageant to destroy. 447 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,516 - Wait a minute. 448 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,618 That's no way to speak to a fellow Toledoan 449 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,453 on Katie Holmes Day. 450 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,289 - Okay, you big baby man. You want your money? 451 00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:37,691 There's your money. 452 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,659 - I don't want money. 453 00:17:39,693 --> 00:17:41,661 I want "Pieces of April." 454 00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:43,263 - [laughs] 455 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,564 I don't know what to tell you, man. 456 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,507 Hey, how'd you know where I... 457 00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,643 live? 458 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,580 [grunts] 459 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,620 - Hi, Jacky. 460 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,489 I just wanted to wish you good luck 461 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,424 at the science fair tomorrow. 462 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:14,427 And I am so sorry that I'm going to missing it. 463 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:17,564 I want you to know that you are a brilliant, talented, 464 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,466 beautiful boy. 465 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,435 And I have no doubt that you're going to do great. 466 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:23,737 And you'll definitely beat 467 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,572 that bullying mouth-breather Greg Miller. 468 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,208 I mean, he's probably gonna present another potato clock. 469 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:30,477 - [laughing] He did. 470 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,679 - I'm so proud of you. 471 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,381 I love you, Jacky. 472 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,384 [somber music] 473 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:42,455 ♪ 474 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:45,425 - I'll be damned. 475 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,461 You gave me five more minutes with my mom. 476 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,864 [uplifting music] 477 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,466 It's all real. 478 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,669 ♪ 479 00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:57,804 I got to save Katie Holmes Day. 480 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:03,476 . 481 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,612 [light music] 482 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,648 [indistinct chatter] 483 00:19:08,682 --> 00:19:11,418 ♪ 484 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,486 So that was Katie's bedroom right up there. 485 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,655 - Up there? - Yeah. 486 00:19:15,689 --> 00:19:16,790 - Hey, yo, yo, yo. Here they come. 487 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:17,724 [door closes] Here they come. 488 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,926 - Please stop. 489 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:22,729 The Holmes family no longer lives here. 490 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,465 We are the Goodmans. 491 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,767 all: If we knew this would happen, 492 00:19:27,801 --> 00:19:31,571 we never would have bought this house. 493 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:34,874 Seriously, stop! 494 00:19:34,908 --> 00:19:38,678 Please don't put us through this again. 495 00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:41,648 My condition has worsened. 496 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,684 Please, go away! 497 00:19:44,718 --> 00:19:47,854 [cheers and applause] 498 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:51,558 ♪ 499 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,660 [brakes squeal] 500 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,894 - All right. Coming through, everybody. 501 00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:56,563 [laughs] 502 00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:59,499 Happy Katie Holmes Day. Yeah. 503 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,469 [indistinct chatter] 504 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:06,773 ♪ 505 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,942 [laughing, speaking indistinctly] 506 00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,877 ♪ 507 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:15,348 [cheers and applause] 508 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,853 - Okay, this is it. You got this. 509 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,722 There's no Durbin. It's only Kevin. 510 00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:24,758 - Hi, I'm Katie Holmes. 511 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,594 I'm here to meet with Mr. Williamson. 512 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,796 - Mr. Williamson will... 513 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,934 Not see you right now. He's out. 514 00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,836 [crowd gasping, exclaiming] 515 00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:38,571 - All right, coming through, coming through. 516 00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,006 All right, here we go. Coming through, guys. 517 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:40,974 - Watch it. - Okay, coming through. 518 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,542 - But we have a meeting. 519 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,611 - Mm, he's at lunch. Go back home. 520 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,613 - But I think I can see him. 521 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,914 - Oh, ring, ring. 522 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,784 Hello. Mm. 523 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,652 Actually I just found out. - Uh... 524 00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:53,987 - Kevin Williamson's dead. 525 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,655 [crowd gasps, exclaims] 526 00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:57,791 "Dawson's Creek" is canceled. 527 00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,025 Bah-bye. 528 00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:00,994 - Marissa, why? - Don't do this! 529 00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,896 - Let her meet him! 530 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,632 - [grunts] Hello, everybody. 531 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,535 Yeah--no, I'm, um... 532 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,437 I'm Mr. Williamson's doctor. 533 00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,472 And he's very much alive. 534 00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:15,041 And, yeah, he's ready to meet Katie. 535 00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,544 [cheers and applause] 536 00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:19,646 - Ring, ring. Oh. 537 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:22,649 Just found out. I'm the boss of Hollywood now. 538 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:26,653 And my first act as queen is to banish Katie Holmes. 539 00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:29,022 - Please reconsider, Your Highness! 540 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:32,659 - So, look, I've been trying to ruin Katie Holmes Day. 541 00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:34,527 [crowd murmuring] 542 00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:36,529 I ran around all of last night 543 00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:38,965 stealing children's shoes. 544 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:40,967 Wow, it sounds insane when I say it out loud. 545 00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:42,902 Uh, but worst of all, 546 00:21:42,936 --> 00:21:46,606 I convinced this sweet, young girl here to st-- 547 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:47,974 No, not you. 548 00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:50,777 I don't why she's--I don't-- I don't even know you. 549 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,946 Yeah--no, I-I convinced Marissa here 550 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,515 to stop believing in her dreams. 551 00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:58,818 Then I experienced the magic of Katie Holmes Day myself. 552 00:21:58,852 --> 00:22:00,954 You know, I had a dream, and my dream came true. 553 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,789 And--and sure, you know. 554 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,558 Big dreams can be a bit of a mirage, you know? 555 00:22:05,592 --> 00:22:07,694 Often planted in our capitalist minds 556 00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:10,063 by greedy corporations who-- - You're losing us! 557 00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:12,532 - Bottom line, um, 558 00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:14,901 Marissa's dream has always been to play Katie Holmes. 559 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,003 And you think it would be all right 560 00:22:17,037 --> 00:22:19,806 if Marissa said the final line? 561 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,041 Oh, that's great. 562 00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:23,009 Okay, here we go. 563 00:22:23,043 --> 00:22:27,480 Uh, Mr. Williamson, your 3:00 is here. 564 00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:32,986 - [clears throat] 565 00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:36,756 Katie, you are Joey Potter. Welcome to "Dawson's Creek." 566 00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:39,626 [cheers and applause] 567 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,594 - He did it. 568 00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:43,129 The sweet son of a bitch did it. 569 00:22:43,163 --> 00:22:45,865 - Mr. Williamson, I have something to tell you. 570 00:22:45,899 --> 00:22:49,669 ♪ 571 00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:51,538 When the camera is rolling, 572 00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,973 I'll be this Joey Potter. 573 00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:56,009 But when you say "cut," 574 00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:59,612 I will return to and always be 575 00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:02,916 Toledo's very own Katie Holmes. 576 00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:05,585 - ♪ I don't want to wait [cheers and applause] 577 00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:07,954 - ♪ For our lives to be over 578 00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:10,090 ♪ I want to know right now 579 00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:13,760 - Hey, everyone look! It's 8:47! 580 00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:15,795 - ♪ I don't want to wait 581 00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:18,765 ♪ For our lives to be over 582 00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:19,966 - Mwah! 583 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,868 - Aww. 584 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,570 Oh. 585 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,638 - Hey. [both laughing] 586 00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:27,640 - [vocalizing] 587 00:23:27,674 --> 00:23:29,042 - Oh. 588 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:32,645 ♪ 589 00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:34,180 - Oh! 590 00:23:34,214 --> 00:23:38,585 - Mom, this year can you kiss my forehead? 591 00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:40,053 - Eat your beans. 592 00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:41,654 - ♪ On the rainy front step 593 00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:43,723 ♪ Wearing shrapnel in his skin ♪ 594 00:23:43,757 --> 00:23:45,625 - I hoped you'd come around to it. 595 00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:48,728 But I didn't think you'd make it a whole holiday special. 596 00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:49,896 Just-- - [laughs] 597 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,598 - ♪ Lives inside him still 598 00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:56,603 ♪ It's so hard to be gentle and warm ♪ 599 00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:58,038 ♪ The years passed by 600 00:23:58,071 --> 00:24:02,208 ♪ And now he has granddaughters ♪ 601 00:24:02,242 --> 00:24:05,078 ♪ 602 00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:08,815 ♪ I don't want to wait for our lives... ♪ 603 00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,617 - Katie continued, 604 00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:13,987 "When you say 'cut,' I will return to and always be 605 00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:17,057 Toledo's very own Katie Holmes." 606 00:24:21,027 --> 00:24:24,230 "Granted, I won't always be playing Joey Potter. 607 00:24:24,264 --> 00:24:26,066 "So, when I'm doing another character, 608 00:24:26,099 --> 00:24:28,635 "the same rule applies. 609 00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:30,970 "When the camera's rolling, I am that character. 610 00:24:31,004 --> 00:24:32,839 "But when they yell 'cut,' 611 00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:36,176 I'm Katie Holmes from Toledo, Ohio!" 612 00:24:36,209 --> 00:24:38,678 [book closes] 613 00:24:38,712 --> 00:24:40,880 Okay, orphans. Off to bed. 614 00:24:40,914 --> 00:24:43,683 And tomorrow we'll be enjoying a feast of muffins, 615 00:24:43,717 --> 00:24:45,118 thanks to a large amount of money 616 00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,053 Whitlock High School raised for us. 617 00:24:47,087 --> 00:24:49,856 all: Yay! 618 00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:52,859 [upbeat holiday music] 619 00:24:52,892 --> 00:24:59,032 ♪ 43588

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