Original subtitles

Mom!

Max, please, go to sleep.

This is the fourth time you've called me in here.

Third. This is the fifth time

your mother's had to come in here tonight.

It's the fourth time.

Third! What's the problem?

He's staring at me!

There you go.

Now I can't tell what he's thinking.

How's that? Better.

Good night, sweetie.

Wait! The curtains!

I fixed the curtains the last time I came in here.

You didn't like the shadows, remember?

The shadow's worse.

- IT'S JUST THE TREES. - I DON'T LIKE TREES.

Look, is this better?

Will you lie down with me?

Honey, when I do that, you don't go to sleep.

You just want to talk.

I won't. I promise. Please!

Here's the deal. Max, if you can get to sleep

without calling us into the room again,

I'll get you that video game you've been wanting, ultra gorgonzola or...

Ultimate gonzago? Right!

Jack! I'm out of ideas, eileen.

Okay, mom. I love you.

We love you too, sweetie.

Good night, dad.

Good night, buddy boy.

That's what you get for wrecking my dvd player, you little brat.

It was an accident!

And I was accidentally hiding in your closet.

I'm not scared of that thing. It's just rubber.

True, but the real one is out there.

MOM!

Good-bye, video game.

He's fine. I reassured him.

Liar!

Did you scare him again?

NO! Yes!

You're gonna go too far one of these days.

Tell him to stay out of my room.

He's just trying to be closer to you, cassie.

Look, this is a new adjustment for him.

It's a new neighborhood. It's a new home.

Why is everything always about him?

Wh... cass...

Cassie? You're gonna be late for school.

Do you have to dress like that every day?

Get out of my room.

Fangs? ÀWhat's it about?

If I told you, you'd have nightmares.

All right, now, how about that outfit that I bought for you?

Now, this would look darling on you.

Yuck!

You know, you might make new friends

if you didn't try so hard to be different.

I liked my old friends.

Honey, I know it's awkward to be dropped into a new school,

especially after the semester has started,

but look, listen, just give it some time.

It'll get better.

Right.

H... cassie?

♪ When Everything You have goes away ♪

♪ You Realize That nothing means a thing ♪

♪ Everything You Thought Was a big deal ♪

♪ Now You See It All And what is real ♪

♪ When All You Have Just falls apart ♪

♪ Nothing Seems To work out right ♪

♪ You're Trying... ♪

♪ And You're Still ♪

♪ All Right ♪ - HEY, SEAN!

Hey, what's up, man?

Hey, write down your address, dude.

My mom needs it for some list thing.

Oh, all right, sure.

The shocker pen! Oh, cool!

Dude, you're not supposed to like it.

Oh, really? Yeah, really.

Well, how do you like it, huh? How...

Here, take it back. All right, here, man.

Attention, students.

THIS IS PRINCIPAL McKIBBLE Reminding you

that today is the last day to cast your ballots

for this year's pumpkin queen.

Remember, your vote counts.

I know we're gonna win.

Don't worry. You can't lose.

Good luck!

I don't need luck.

Okay, about the party...

good idea with our costumes, and I think we should match.

I'll e-mail you a list of what you guys can wear

because fashion is important, so I'll pick your outfits.

I think my daddy's gonna get me a limo.

He is? A pink one.

Are you serious? That's so cool!

I know!

Hi, sean. What's up, priscilla?

HEY, PRISCILLA. He's so hot.

I wonder who he's taking to the dance.

Who do you think?

He asked you?

He will.

OOH, I'M HUNGRY!

Aren't you gonna eat that?

What's wrong, bro?

I'm toast. My english paper is due next friday,

and I'm only this far in this stupid book.

Why'd you pick such a thick book?

The cover looked cool? I don't know.

See, I never pick a book thicker than this.

So you're not gonna eat that?

If I get another d, my dad's not gonna let me play ball.

THAT'S HARSH.

He's on my case 24/7. He called me an idiot.

DANG! Look at this thing.

That would be like 10 books for me.

I've read that book.

What?

I said I've read that book.

I've read all of poe's work.

Really? Cool.

Here. Take it.

Poe, of course, is a seminal figure

in horror literature.

He was a master at creating

the intense atmosphere of poetic dread.

And, of course, poe's self-tortured protagonists

have become a horror convention.

Oh, I've never been to a horror convention.

Hey, pris, you got competition.

That new girl?

The living-dead reject?

I don't think so.

Hey, aren't you in one of my classes?

I'm in your english class.

I sit right in front of you.

My name's cassie.

Sean. Yeah, I've seen you.

Maybe if you're having trouble,

you know, getting through the book, I could...

Hi. What's up?

Yeah, what's up?

What are you guys talking about?

Sean's flipping over some term paper.

Oh, poor baby. I'll help you.

Really?

I'll be your tutor after school all next week...

At, um, my house.

Cool.

And we'll talk about it more at the dance

if you'll take me.

Sure, okay.

Great, okay!

Pick me up at 7:00. Don't be late.

Oh! And by the way,

didn't anyone tell you?

The halloween dance isn't until next friday.

Oh, my god!

Wait! Leave it. It's an improvement.

Oops.

♪ Come, sit down, there's plenty of room ♪

♪ There's Room For You Right here next to me ♪

♪ Here By My Side

♪ There's Nothing That You Should hide from a friend ♪

♪ Or Is There

♪ You Just Look At Me

♪ Don't Smile, Just Stare Too hard, too long ♪

♪ Now, I Know

♪ I Know That Something's Wrong with you ♪

♪ We Can Talk It Out

♪ We Can Figure Out

♪ What's Going On Inside

♪ What Are You Running From

♪ What Do You Have To Hide

♪ Tell Me What's On Your Mind

♪ What You Feel

♪ What Do You Believe

♪ What Is Inside You

♪ That Makes You Scream

Cassie, look what I got! It's a pirate costume, a real pirate costume!

The word is "knock."

I'm gonna go try the rest of it on!

Would you tell him to stay out of my room?

He's excited.

How was school?

Sucks.

Isn't there a halloween dance on friday?

I guess.

Oh, right, sweetie.

Don't worry because a boy didn't ask you to go.

Who cares?

Boys your age are shy.

I remember not wanting to go to a dance because no one asked me.

I was the same age you are now.

But my mother insisted that I go,

and I ended up having so much fun.

I can unpack my own stuff.

Well, just give what I said some thought, okay?

MAX, YOU'RE SUPPOSED To be helping me.

So that's how it's gonna be, huh?

I'm going down to the library. Anyone need anything?

Starbucks? Something else?

No, I'm fine.

Oh, before I forget, monday night, halloween,

your father and I have a party we have to go to,

so we need you to take max trick-or-treating.

What? That's my favorite night of the year!

Aren't you getting a little old for trick-or-treating?

It's my boss's party, cass. Gotta go.

Great. I get to tote the little baby around.

I'm not a baby, stupid head!

Hey, we don't ask that much of you.

Thanks a lot.

Hey, you know, come to think of it,

I could go for a nonfat latte.

I'm not going that way.

♪ If You See Me ♪

♪ Walking Down The street alone ♪

♪ It's Because I'm Headed For the... Part of town ♪

♪ So Check The Windows ♪

♪ The Lights Are Out And nobody's home ♪

♪ And Everything That I Ever Loved somehow is gone ♪

♪ Gone, Gone ♪

♪ If You See Me Walking Down the street alone ♪

♪ It's Because I'm Headed For the... Part of town ♪

Cassie.

Cassie.

May I help you?

May I help you?

Well, I've never seen this store before.

We're only here for halloween.

I see.

You like scary things, don't you?

USUALLY.

It's fun to scare people, isn't it?

Come on, you love it.

So, where do you get all this stuff?

I'm a collector.

Well, thank you. I think I have to...

I see you like to read.

I do.

Let me show you the book section.

Actually, I have to go.

Hello again.

Feel free to browse.

THIS IS The book section?

Did you want quality or quantity?

The sign says "books," not "book."

I'll have the "s" removed.

Please.

The evil thing. ÀSounds scary.

May I see it?

Certainly.

It's locked.

When you buy, you get the key.

Perhaps it's not for you.

How much is it?

How much would you pay?

Five dollars? Sold.

The evil thing is yours.

The key.

Not here.

Attention, students.

We have the election results for our new pumpkin queen,

but, first, a reminder.

When you're at the dance,

remember to practice safe dancing

and not dance too close.

I wouldn't want to have to separate any of you.

And now for the election results.

The enthusiasm of the entire student body was wonderful.

Who says you don't care?

The winner and new pumpkin queen is...

Priscilla wright!

Guess that makes you Mr. Pumpkin queen.

Oh, man!

So, what's the big deal about being pumpkin queen, anyway?

OH, IT'S A beautiful tradition.

The poetry, the music, the piata.

My date. My date.

Piata? Yes, the pumpkin piata.

Oh, it's so festive.

Only the queen is allowed to hit it open.

Queen priscilla?

Her majesty.

TURN IT OFF! It's scary.

Turn it off!

Honey, you wanted ultimate gonzago.

I want a different game. It's scary.

Max, it's a squirrel who throws nut bombs.

I don't care!

YES! YES!

ALL RIGHT, That's it.

IT'S FOR ME.

Hi, delivery. Thanks.

Have a good day. What is it?

U.PS. Stuff for the dance.

I thought you weren't going to the dance.

Remember you said to give it some thought?

So I did.

Okay. Ooh!

♪ Do You Want A Revolution ♪

♪ An Underground Institution ♪

♪ And How Bout A big, black car ♪

♪ Honey, I Don't Know Who you are ♪

♪ I Know It's Hard To believe ♪

♪ I Want The Same Things You want ♪

♪ Don't Say I'm trying to be mean ♪

♪ I Don't Take Being down the road ♪

♪ Pretty Baby, It's time to go ♪

♪ Just Put Your Shoes On ♪

♪ Come On ♪

♪ Tell The World, Now ♪

♪ What's Wrong With You ♪

♪ What's Wrong With You, Yeah

♪ I Know It's Hard To believe ♪

♪ I Want The Same Things You want ♪

♪ Don't Say I'm trying to be mean ♪

Hey, guys, Mr. McKibble wants you

at the main gate to help unload some equipment.

The main gate?

Some audiovisual stuff, I think.

I thought we were only on piata duty.

Get in there. Go! Go! Go!

WHAT WAS That about?

MR. McKIBBLE DID Not want us. Bogus.

How about those skeletons, huh?

How about a round of applause for the skeletons?

Great job! Good job! Great job!

Happy halloween, everybody.

You know, as your principal,

I am proud that, tonight, we are going to carry on

a very special tradition.

- OH, YEAH! - ALL RIGHT!

Tonight... are you ready for it?

I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.

Are you ready for it?

Yes! May I present to you this year's pumpkin queen,

priscilla wright! Come forth and be crowned!

Here is your glory.

And here is your power.

I command a mighty pumpkin to feed my loyal subjects.

SMASH IT! Smash it! Smash it!

Smash it! Smash it! Smash it!

ROACHES!

They're crawling all over the place!

HELP ME! HELP ME! Just get them! Kill them!

SHE FELL In the cake!

Hey, priscilla, I heard you're opening your own motel!

IT'S The cockroach queen!

QUICK! Step on her!

HEY, PRISCILLA, What are you using for hairspray, raid?

HEY, DON'T Hurt her feelers.

WHERE ARE YOU Going, priscilla? Behind the stove?

I know it was you.

Prove it.

You are so dead.

Tonight is halloween.

Who knows when halloween started?

I thought I might see your hand, cassie.

Halloween started with the celts

in what is now ireland around, like, 2,000 years ago.

GO ON, CASSIE.

The celts celebrated the end of the harvest

and the beginning of the days getting shorter

and the nights getting longer.

These long, dark nights made people think about death,

as they do today.

YES. YES, I suppose that's true.

But does anyone know

where the custom for dressing up for halloween...

Yes, cassie?

The celts believed that on the night OF OCTOBER 31st,

the boundary between the living and the dead became blurred.

They thought that on this night,

the ghosts of the dead came back to earth.

They would build big bonfires

and dress up in animal masks and skins

to frighten away the spirits, but then, over time,

it changed into all hallows because the church taught

that you were supposed to hallow the dead.

THAT'S VERY Impressive, cassie.

Okay, get out your notebooks.

Let's talk about... Term papers.

♪ I CAN'T WAIT TILL OCTOBER 31st ♪

♪ I'm So Excited That My sweet tooth's gonna burst ♪

♪ I'll Be The One With the chocolate in my eye ♪

♪ I Can't Wait TILL OCTOBER 31st ♪

♪ I Can't Wait TILL OCTOBER 31st ♪

♪ I Can't Wait TILL OCTOBER 31st ♪

This thing itches.

You're barely wearing a costume anymore.

Can you hold my bag? It's heavy.

Let's go. You have enough stuff.

Hey, guys, look, they're giving away wax lips with fangs!

Wax lips! I love wax lips!

Go on.

Go on.

I don't like that music.

Then let's go. I have homework to do, and you have enough candy.

I don't have wax lips. They're my favorites.

Then go up there. It's just music.

Look, toddlers are going up there.

Go on!

I can't!

Then we're going home.

I want wax lips.

Then go!

I can't!

Look, a ladybug is going up there.

Are you a bigger chicken than a ladybug?

Maybe.

Think how good it'll feel when you're brave.

You'll go, "it wasn't so hard."

Won't that be good to say? "It wasn't so hard."

I can't!

Do you want me to go for you?

No, everyone will see me and know I'm scared.

Then you go! See you later.

Wait!

Can you breathe? No.

Okay, that works for me.

Mom! Dad! Cassie left me alone!

You what?

I just started walking.

I didn't "leave him alone."

Liar! You left me,

and I didn't get wax lips with fangs.

All right, we'll get you wax lips, all right?

Look, just go.

Fine, let's go. Why can't we just do this tomorrow, buddy?

No, I really want them now!

All right, let's go.

Let's go! Let's go! Come on, hurry up.

HOLD ON! DON'T...

I don't know what it will take to get you to be nice to your brother.

A miracle?

Can I count on you for one simple thing?

I'm leaving this roast out to defrost for tomorrow.

In a couple of hours, please put it in the refrigerator, okay?

Okay.

All right. We're gonna be out late,

but I want max in bed by 9:00.

Please, cassie, try to get along.

I'll try.

And no scary stories for max.

Do you understand? Whatever.

Bye, mom. Bye, dad. Have a great time!

Excellent. This will be even better.

Is this gonna take a long time?

John carlucci's having a party.

Forget john carlucci.

Put that stupid shocker pen thing away.

It's retarded.

Why don't we just forget this?

Well, why don't we forget me

writing your term paper?

You promised. Then get with the program

and let me do the thinking.

I can think. I'm not stupid.

Doesn't matter. You're cute. Let's go.

You're supposed to be in bed. Give me that.

Read me that story. No, it's too scary.

I like scary stuff.

You do not.

On halloween I do. Honest.

Get in bed, and I'll read you the berenstain bears.

I hate those stupid bears. I want this book.

Forget it.

Hey.

What?

What did you do?

Nothing.

What did you do?

It was an accident!

You turned this off? You did it on purpose.

It was an accident!

Do you know what you did?

You made me lose everything I wrote tonight!

Hours of work! I'll never remember exactly what I wrote!

What are you gonna do?

You wanted me to read you this book, right?

You're not mad anymore?

Accidents happen.

"THE EVIL THING.

"The evil thing is a gruesome beast.

"On living flesh, it loves to feast.

"It's a two-headed thing whom you don't wish to greet.

"One head sucks your blood. One head chews your meat.

"It carries its babies in slimy eggs on its back.

"The babies are hungry when they hatch for a snack,

"so the evil thing traps some poor victim alive

"for the babies to eat when their birthdays arrive.

"But don't worry. Don't cry. Please don't have a fit.

"The evil thing is not real unless you think about it.

Remember, don't think about it."

Good night.

Don't think about it.

Don't think about it.

Don't think about it.

MAX.

I thought about it! I thought about it!

Cassie, I thought about it! I thought about it! I couldn't help it!

Now it's alive! The evil thing is alive!

Uh-oh.

You shouldn't have done that.

Now it's gonna get you.

I'm just kidding you, max. It's not gonna get you.

Yes, it is!

No, it's not. Stop crying.

It's gonna trap me and feed me to its babies!

It's not.

It's gonna put me in a sac!

No, it's not. It's just a made-up story.

The evil thing isn't real, honest.

I just wanted to scare you.

Really?

I swear.

Here's your pizza.

All right, let... Oh, yeah.

Here you go.

Thank you.

All right, you have a good night. Yeah.

Happy, happy halloween! Yeah.

Thanks for the candy corn.

Great tip.

Where to next?

Hey, guy, great costume.

Yeah. You scared me.

Um, could you get off the car?

Thank you, yeah. Have a good halloween.

That really was a good costume.

Here, take the pizzas.

Not again.

CASSIE!

Don't go, cassie! Don't go!

It's just a blown fuse.

It's the thing, the evil thing!

Quiet.

Cassie, it's the evil thing! Let's go, cassie!

Cassie, let's go! It's gonna get us!

Cassie, let's go! Come on!

Let's get back in the house!

Cassie, let's go! Come on!

What...

"Don't worry. Don't cry.

"Please, don't have a fit.

"The evil thing isn't real unless you think about it."

Everyone at school is gonna want to see this video.

Don't you think so, sean?

I guess.

ARE YOU OKAY, BUDDY?

BUT, WAIT, You mean it's all fake?

The evil thing.

What about the growls?

That's cool.

And now on video, cassie keller does the dance of fear.

It's an instant classic.

You were so scared.

Give me that tape.

Right now! Not likely.

Next time, loser,

remember who you're messing with.

I would have been scared, too.

Cassie's a chicken! Cassie's a...

GET IN THE HOUSE!

I can't believe how scared you were out there.

You were, like, the world's biggest chicken ever.

Oh, my gosh, you are so annoying!

Yeah, whatever, you almost wet your pants, you big baby!

You were even worse than that.

You're such a big baby.

Stop eating that, and go to bed!

And don't forget to brush your teeth.

Whatever!

Cassie, I know it's you.

Cassie, quit, or I'm telling mom and dad!

Quit what? Go to sleep, you big baby.

CASSIE!

Knock it off!

Throw a fit. Go ahead. See if I care.

Little brat!

I LOVE THIS.

Okay, I think you've watched it enough.

I'm going to john carlucci's party.

It gets better every time.

Let me see.

What are you doing?

I don't like it, okay? It's too mean.

You better give that back! I don't think so.

If you don't put that tape in my hand right this instant,

I will not write your term paper, and you will fail!

I don't care.

Your dad's gonna kill you!

Sean! You loser!

Well, who's supposed to carry this stuff, huh?

God.

Sean? Is that you? Sean, quit fooling around!

Sean, I mean it. Cut it out.

Sean, stop it right now.

Sean, stop!

Such a bad actress.

HELP ME! Help me! Help!

SOMEBODY HELP! Somebody help me!

Help! Somebody help!

Open up! It's me, sean! It's an emergency!

Open up! It's me, sean!

Back for an encore?

It's got your brother and priscilla!

Look, okay, you got me. You scared me. You have it on tape.

Why don't you call it a night? Wait, wait, no.

No, this is no joke, okay?

That evil thing, it's real, the whole deal!

It's got your brother!

Well, it can't be,

because this is my brother right here.

I killed him,

and we'll be eating him for dinner later.

I'm not kidding, okay? It's got priscilla, too!

Well, I guess it's not totally evil.

Gosh! I'm telling the truth.

It's out in the woods!

Why don't you believe me?

Okay, where do you think your brother is?

Sleeping.

Well, then, go take a look!

I'm being punked, right?

Where's his room? Up here?

Hey, you can't...

Where do you think you're going?

What are you doing? What...

See?

Max!

Is he in on this?

It must have dragged him out through here.

You are telling the truth, aren't you?

Your brother is gonna be toast!

I ignored the warning. I read the book out loud.

I just wanted to scare him.

Well, good job. We've got to call the cops.

On halloween? They'll never believe us,

and by the time we can convince them,

it'll be too late.

We have to do something now.

We have to kill that thing.

What?

WHAT IS THAT? Let me out!

CASSIE! CASSIE!

HELLO? Is anybody else in here?

HELP! SOMEBODY Help me! Help!

Priscilla's shoe.

It was right here.

It had your brother in its, uh...

I don't know what you call it.

The... Slimy and...

Are you sure it was max?

Pretty sure. He was whimpering.

A whiny, irritating whimper?

Yeah.

That's max.

Look.

Ugh. Come on, I think it went this way.

A walking stick?

Are you sure your dad doesn't have

a shotgun or something?

MAX? Where are you?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK IT Could use a tissue.

YOU'RE A WEIRD GIRL.

I KNOW.

I'm sure the priscillas of the world are more your type.

I DON'T KNOW. She's priscilla,

but, dang, I don't think she deserves to die.

That cockroach deal,

I mean, that was kind of over the top.

She deserved that.

I don't know.

I mean, so she dissed you.

Be cool. Whatever.

What are you so ticked-off about, anyway?

And your brother, I mean, what did he do to you?

He annoys me.

Ouch.

So you think I'm weird, huh?

Nah... i mean, in a good way.

Different.

Yeah, but not pretty like priscilla.

I don't know.

Well, you know, 'cause she's all...

And all...

Yeah, but you're...

Nasty!

Ugh.

For a minute, I forgot we were in the middle of a nightmare.

Sean, listen, you don't have to do this.

I mean it. None of this was your fault.

No biggie.

John carlucci's parties suck anyway.

Come on.

This way.

Uh, are you sure?

Ow, sean!

Sorry. Big shoes.

GOSH!

I HATE THESE WEBS.

What? What?

Something just ran over my foot.

Just keep moving.

There's no more slime.

Which way?

This way.

Where are we?

Oh, my.

OH, MY GOSH!

Maybe it's out.

Foraging?

Well, I doubt it went to the market.

Come on, let's make this fast.

Max? Max? Max?

CASSIE! HELP!

Somebody help me! Help! Please! Help!

Max?

HELP! HELP!

Max, are you okay?

Help! - MAX?

Oh, my gosh!

Max, just calm down. We'll get you out.

Come on. Oh, my gosh!

Here. Here. Pull this.

Sean, what did you have for dinner?

I was just about to ask you the same thing.

I THINK WE'RE Gonna need bigger sticks.

Run!

This way! This way!

Come on!

Go! Go! Go! Faster! Faster!

Sean, watch behind...

He's got my leg!

Sean! Come on!

Shocker pen!

That was a fiasco.

Yeah, and it didn't work, either.

Why did you have to read that book out loud?

I've got issues, okay?

I mean, what is that book?

Where did it come from?

The halloween store.

The halloween store! Of course!

Wait. Wait. What halloween store?

He knew all along it would happen!

Well, who knew what would happen?

The weirdo who sold me the book!

What weirdo?

He knows the magic. He has to! Come on.

Hello? Hello?

Open! Open up, please!

He's not here.

Wait... Oh, come on! Come on! Come on!

Hey, wait!

Sorry, no refunds.

You knew the book was magic.

As I recall,

there's a warning

plainly printed on the first page.

But the evil thing is alive, and it has my brother!

Aren't you the girl who likes to scare people?

It's a powerful feeling

to watch others cringe in fear.

I bet you can't wait to see

the frightened expression

on your brother's face

when he sees those babies hatch.

Yes! No, I can wait.

I don't want to see that expression.

Well, you should have thought of that before.

Oh, well. Buyer's remorse.

Happens all the time in the retail trade.

But there has to be something you can do.

No, there has to be something you can do.

You brought the evil thing from the darkness.

Now you must figure out how to return it there.

But you sold me the book.

But you brought me to this town. You did?

I did not.

But you did.

It was your wish to scare people that summoned me.

Every halloween, I choose the one

who wants to scare people the most.

This year, it was between you

and a nine-year-old in detroit. You won.

Congratulations.

But there has to be something you can sell me,

something from the store.

Store?

What store?

It's gone. It was just right here. What...

There has to be some way to kill it.

Two heads are better than one.

That's the way to get the bloody job done.

Happy halloween.

Well, what does that mean?

Huh?

What he said. "Two heads are better than one.

That's the way to get the bloody job done."

I don't know.

Well, it's a riddle.

Maybe it means our heads, like the expression.

"Two heads are better than one."

Like two heads can think better.

That's the obvious meaning,

but in a riddle, you look for the meaning that's not obvious.

Sorry, I wasn't in class that day.

For example, the evil thing has two heads.

Well, how can that be better for us?

I know. That's the problem.

Unless they fought each other.

Say that again.

Unless they fought each other?

Yes! You're brilliant!

I am?

But how do we get them to do that?

Do what? Fight each other!

How? I don't know!

Bloody job. Bloody job.

What would you need for a bloody job?

Blood?

And I know where to get some. Come on!

CASSIE!

Cassie! Cassie! Help! Help!

OKAY, Here's the plan.

We lure the evil thing toward us.

When it gets close, we throw the blood on it.

That will cause the sucking head

to attack its own body.

When it draws its own blood,

the other head will go into a frenzy.

And then it will devour itself.

Two heads are better than one.

That's really smart.

I know!

I don't know what's gotten into me.

But how do we lure it into our trap?

Uh, I don't know.

I know. With its mate.

It has a mate?

Doesn't everything?

Forget I said that.

HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Help! Help! Help!

Help me! Help, please! Help!

MAX, PLEASE Don't be baby food.

Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help!

Come on.

Sorry.

HELP! Somebody help me! Help!

Oh, no! The babies have hatched.

Help! Help!

Hurry.

I don't see the evil thing.

As long as it doesn't see us. Just start the mating call.

How do we know that this is the mating call?

It showed up before.

It better not try to mate with me.

Shh, shh, shh. Careful, careful.

Sounds like love to me.

Wow.

Keep coming, big mama. Come on. Come on.

There we go.

Come on.

Get ready.

What?

Oh, no.

Here, the blood! No, you do it! You do it!

Yeah, but you're supposed... No, you...

NO!

Help me! Help! Please, help!

MAX! MAX!

MAX, WATCH OUT! On the ground!

Max, the pitcher! - WHAT PITCHER?

Max!

OH, NO!

Max, grab the pitcher!

The pitcher right in front of you!

Grab it! The pitcher!

Pick it up! Pick it up!

What is it?

It's blood. Blood!

Pick it up! Pick it up!

Throw it on the evil thing! What?

Throw it on the evil thing! I'm scared!

You're not! I can't! I'm too scared!

No, you're not. You can do it. Throw the blood.

I can't!

Look at me.

I love you, max. You can do it.

Help me!

It's working. It's attacking itself.

Yes! You did it, max!

Way to go, little dude! Yes!

It wasn't so hard.

Ew.

Get off of me!

Calm down. It's just me.

She's a witch!

I'm sorry. I didn't want any of this to happen.

Get away from me! My dad's a lawyer.

Let's go, sean.

Sean, are you coming?

Sean!

I think I'll walk cassie home.

YOU WHAT?

I am disgusted! I'm the pumpkin queen!

HELLO? Is anybody else in here?

Hear me and hear me good.

I've got a complimentary large pizza

with two toppings, your choice, coming at you.

I'm serious.

Could you get me down from here?

YEAH. Yeah, sure. Here.

Come on. Oh, right here.

Be careful. Grab my hand. Here.

Hey, wait up.

Hey, you need a ride?

In your dreams!

Is it the car?

I mean, the slime can come right off.

LOOKS GOOD. I'm hungry.

This is yummy.

Pizza dude was cool. Mm-hmm.

Here you go. Monster-stain free.

Thank you.

Hey, you don't look so bad in my dad's clothes.

Yeah, I'll grow into them.

Ready?

Okay.

Do it.

Can I do it?

Careful.

What a night.

Oh, dang.

I gotta jet.

My dad is gonna kill me.

Hey, max, thanks for saving my life.

You're a brave kid.

Oh, but you got some pepperoni on your shirt.

I can't believe I still have to write that term paper

and I haven't even started yet.

I'll write it for you.

Oh, thanks, but, you know,

I should probably finally write

my own term paper. I'll tutor you.

At my house.

All right, cool.

Stay weird.

Cassie, will you read me

the berenstain bears go to camp?

You got it.

Come on.

SO, DID YOU THINK I made a good impression?

Yeah, I'm sure we can replace that helmet collection.

Looks like the house is still standing.

Yeah, it's a good sign.

I wonder if the kids got along. This is itchy.

Yeah, well, let's not hold our breath.

After you, sir.

Toro. Yeah.

Eileen, come on. Come on.

Oh, my!

Now, there's a sight, huh?

Looks like the kids started a fire.

Oh, good. Put another log on there.

Honey, what happened to all the fireplace tools?

I have no idea.

Look at this.

Look what I found in the fire.

I could have sworn I left a roast out.

Look at this.

What? Look at what?

What is that?

I'm trying to tell you.

A strange little book I found in the fireplace.

What's it doing there?

You got me.

Wait a minute. You know what?

I know I left a roast out.

Listen to this. "Do not read aloud."

Read it.

"The evil thing is a gruesome beast.

"On living flesh, it loves to feast.

"It's a two-headed thing whom you don't wish to greet.

One head sucks your blood. One head chews your meat."

This is great.

"It carries its babies in slimy eggs on its back.

"The babies are hungry when they hatch for a snack,

"so the evil thing traps some poor victim alive

"for the babies to eat when their birthdays arrive.

"But don't worry. Don't cry. Please don't have a fit.

The evil thing is not real unless you think about it."

How can you not think about it?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

Sounds good?

Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.

Emily Osment. "I don't think about it." Tape's rolling.

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It

♪ Misunderstood ♪

♪ Everybody Feels That way sometimes ♪

♪ I Wish I Could ♪

♪ Fit In With All The rest but I ♪

♪ Got My Own Style ♪

♪ Got My Own Way ♪

♪ I Don't Care What People Say, Yeah, 'cause ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ Being Myself There ain't no doubt about it ♪

♪ I Won't Cry Any Tears ♪

♪ I'll Just Live Without fear ♪

♪ I'm So Happy 'Cause I'm Living my life ♪

♪ And I Don't Think About it ♪

♪ A Shooting Star ♪

♪ Twinkling Across The sky at night ♪

♪ Near Or Far ♪

♪ Wishing Everything Would be all right ♪

♪ Got My Own Dreams ♪

♪ Got My Own Plans ♪

♪ Gonna Get There Any way I can, 'cause ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ Being Myself There ain't no doubt about it ♪

♪ I Won't Cry Any Tears ♪

♪ I'll Just Live Without fear ♪

♪ I'm So Happy 'Cause I'm living my life ♪

♪ And I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ Got My Own Style ♪

♪ Got My Own Way ♪

♪ I Don't Care What People Say, Yeah, 'cause ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ Being Myself There ain't no doubt about it ♪

♪ I Won't Cry Any Tears ♪

♪ I'll Just Live Live without fear ♪

♪ I'm So Happy 'Cause I'm living my life ♪

♪ And I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ Being Myself There ain't no doubt about it ♪

♪ I Won't Cry Any Tears ♪

♪ I'll Just Live Without fear ♪

♪ I'm So Happy 'Cause I'm living my life ♪

♪ And I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ Think About It ♪

♪ Think About It ♪

♪ Oh, I Don't ♪

♪ I Don't Think About It ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm Living My Life ♪

♪ And I Don't Think About It ♪

Yeah, I think there was a bug in the room.