Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

What are you doing?

I'm bloodying up these two-headed

babies to go into the incubator room.

It's one of the rooms that the

actors really enjoy working in.

It's a long process trying to find

different recipes for different sorts of blood,

whether you want it to be flat, dried blood

or whether you want it to keep looking really glossy

even when it's dry,

and one that's going to stay on...

even in the rain, especially outside in the forest.

It's been a fair bit of experimentation though,

into trying to find some blood recipes.

And what's the winning formula?

The winning formula is Resene Furniture Gel mixed with...

This is really a secret, should I be telling you this?

Hello, Spookers, Beth speaking.

The Haunted House, The Freaky Forest and Disturbia.

They're all open, it just looks like

we might have a little bit of light drizzle,

so probably if you do The Freaky Forest first

and then if it rains you know that

you're not going to miss out.

Yeah, absolutely.

We've had... I think the oldest person was 98, so 63 is fine.

Yeah, just make sure she doesn't wear high heels or anything

so that she'll be comfortable.

I had pizza for breakfast, at about 1pm.

So, very unbalanced diet.

But I guess it's 'cause of work last night.

I work in a supermarket and

I study bio-med and I work here.

The beauty of working at Spookers is that you can...

be whoever the hell you want to be.

You can be whatever you want.

Express yourself, like, look at me, I'm in a wedding dress.

I would never wear this to count down, obviously.

But, yeah, tonight I'm a zombie bride and, hey,

can you be a zombie bride at your work?

Yeah...

Oh, I'm a dessert chef.

So, I make, like, panna cottas, crème brûlées, pavlovas and meringues.

I do a nice chocolate pudding with, like, hokey pokey

and a nice caramel sauce with it.

Beautiful.

What are you afraid of in real life?

I'm afraid of commitment.

Of my mum.

I've been with Spookers for nearly three years.

It's something that I've wanted to do for years

but never quite had the confidence to...

do an audition and things like that.

'Cause I was always quite shy.

But not so shy anymore.

For the last 11 years I've done insurance claims

and in insurance you really have to be nice to people and

regardless of whether they say you're wrong or not,

you still have to sort of be professional.

Whereas over here you're paid to scare people.

I'm on a bit of a holiday from...

any kind of corporate employment,

mainly because I'm over it.

When I originally auditioned here

I thought I would never get through.

I just convinced myself... I was like, you know,

they're not going to call me back.

And I remember when I got the call I was at school in assembly

and I saw my phone ringing and I was

like, no, got to get out of here.

And I, like, ran out of the hall,

answered the phone and Julia's like,

"You've got the job." And I just started crying, I was so happy.

I was obsessed with this place before I worked here.

I think I had been here, like, 24 times.

And what's it like being a flight attendant?

Flight attendant is just like any

job, you have your bad days, good days.

Everything that happened that was bad in the week, you know,

I just suck it up and then I come

here and I let it all out in character.

(INAUDIBLE)

Coming from school and then coming here,

it's just like...

You know, just get into character

and scare people, which is fun.

I like it.

I'm not very social outside of work,

I just usually stick to myself.

But here you're always meeting new people, new faces.

Everyone just gets along.

When I first started working

here I didn't know how to act.

I didn't know characters.

And I was kind of scared of clowns.

But now that I work here,

I've become one.

Alright, guys,

customers are told they are not allowed to smoke,

drink or eat inside the attraction.

Also, no photos or videos.

If they get a bit too scared, they're

told to put their hand up and say,

"Stop." If they do that, back off.

If they ask you to take them out, take

them out the quickest way possible.

Don't touch any of the wobbly bits,

back of the necks, top of the head.

Shoulders and back of the legs is fine,

stay away from the fronts of the body.

Anything else?

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Occasionally when people come to Spookers

they'll get scared in the car park or

scared just outside the front doors

and they never even get in to buy their tickets...

they'll hop in their cars and leave.

When that first happened we had to

have a talk to some of the staff

because we were losing too many people out of the car park.

So the actors generally work closer to the ticket office now.

It's tough but I'd have to say probably death.

Yeah, like, everyone else is afraid of dying, so, yeah...

(INAUDIBLE)

You all little corpses (INAUDIBLE).

When I first found the site I had no idea what it was.

I had heard of the Kingseat Psychiatric Hospital

but that didn't even come into my mind.

And I was driving past, saw the sign...

And as soon as we saw this building we said...

Yeah, as soon as we saw this

building, this is just perfect.

We actually had to find somewhere that

was a huge building, had some land,

for the maze and, you know,

a forest, and it was perfect.

It had some atmosphere.

Yeah. So, you don't want to give it up too easily.

Excuse me.

Do you think this place gives you weird dreams?

What do you think it's like on your brain,

having these sort of double lives and scaring people

and then being normal at your normal job and...

I reckon it could be unhealthy, to be honest.

Like, you could, like, persuade yourself that you're,

like, a character that isn't real.

I don't know.

Like, I've never thought about that before.

I reckon that is pretty, like, unhealthy but then actors do it, like, in movies.

Honestly, I have a lot of nightmares.

I have quite a problem with nightmares.

And I can't even really remember...

I remember them when I wake up in the morning,

but then I forget.

But, yeah, I certainly have more nightmares than dreams.

Good afternoon, Spookers.

Hi.

Can you remember

your dreams last night or this morning?

- My dreams? - Yeah.

Oh, those are fun.

I have lots of those.

Life's hard.

It is.

Why?

I don't know, stress, people.

You've got to like people.

Then you've got to dislike people.

The struggles, the struggles of life.

Yeah.

But then you have people like Bubbles,

and Puppy and Bunny...

make life all better.

Oh, it's OK.

Bubbles and Puppy are here for you.

About 1990 I got really sick

and it turned out that I had an auto-immune disease.

But that took a long time to diagnose

and I was quite ill for a long time.

And we had a business at the time, which we had to sell

because we couldn't manage to run it.

But we went on to do other things.

If I hadn't had that time, we wouldn't have had Spookers.

At that stage we were growing around 200, 300 ha of maize

and I saw a little wee sentence in a newsletter

that I was reading on the internet that

said, "Have you seen the maize maze?"

And as soon as I saw that sentence,

everything just became absolutely crystal clear.

We started with a day maze and then one night

we got a whole lot of our friends

into the maze in the evening

and we thought we'd try it.

So it just sort of developed and, you

know, we just used the local farmers

and they're all mates and they'd jump off their tractors and just arrive

and they'd grab their chainsaws...

- And bank managers. - Yeah, and the local cop.

Two bank managers and the local policeman.

Yeah. And we'd just run around like idiots.

It was so much fun.

We turned the wool shed into a haunted house

for Halloween one year for kids and families.

We thought it'd be fun.

And then it got so busy in the wool shed that we kept it open

while Corn Evil was open

and it ended up that Andy used to have to truck

the sheep away to somebody else's farm

to get them shorn because our wool shed

was always a haunted house.

We started looking for somewhere

in Auckland to do a haunted house

permanently and have it open all year round,

because with Corn Evil we could only do it,

January till the end of April,

and that's when the maize all gets harvested.

Yeah.

We found this building and it all just started.

Like, you know, before when it was a mental hospital,

I mean, there was mental patients in there,

did they, like, kick them all out just to make this?

Or did they all die or something?

I doubt they all died.

Well, how did they...

They've could have transferred

them to another mental institute.

OK.

What do you think of them

turning it into a place like Spookers?

I think it's a really smart idea.

- Yeah. - Really smart.

Because there's already, like,

those, not rumours

but there's already like that sort

of rumour thing going about, like,

oh, yeah, it's haunted sort of thing.

But, like, to have the experience

of actually going in there

and being scared by, like,

everyday people, you kind of get...

You think it is haunted.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Like, for all we know it could be.

But, like, for the people who are like,

it's not haunted, sort of thing,

they're still getting that, like,

still getting scared by it, sort of thing.

Yeah.

I think it's a really smart idea.

- Yeah. - That was the basis.

Whoever came up with the idea, well done.

- Genius. - Well done.

We, you know, we did really have to hum and ha of,

you know, should we be here

when we knew, you know, obviously

we found out very quickly it

was the old psychiatric hospital,

and we really did think long and hard about it.

Whether it was appropriate.

Yeah and I think you'll find a lot of the nurses

and things that used to be here,

they actually just like that something is being done with the site

and that, you know, there's areas

of it that are being looked after.

And people are happy to come to work here and things like that.

Yeah.

I'm an incubator, so the character kind of is a nurse who has, like,

babies in incubators, which is a bit crazy.

So, that's what I'm trying to go

for... like, the crazy nurse thing.

Do you know much about the nurses

that used to live here?

No.

I'd like to though.

It's an interesting subject.

Creepy.

I used to live in that room just up there.

It had its own little access down to a bathroom.

It was pretty cool.

I was really pleased that it was being

put to some decent use, you know.

And I thought it was sort of appropriate

that they'd picked sort of a remote

place that had sort of some history like that.

But in other ways, we're trying to de-stigmatise mental health

and here they are sticking up these homicidal killers...

...in an old mental health institution. You know.

Can you let me out?

And what was the character

that you were playing in the jail cell?

Just like a crazy person who

got locked up there for eating their,

like, friend and killing them and stuff. Yeah.

You know, I just didn't want to be there.

I like doing it, that's for sure, but,

it kind of scares me knowing that people...

Like, the old people that used to

be here, part of the hospital,

would act like that and it's like making fun of them.

But, you know, if they were

actually here, as ghosts, ghosts,

then they'd probably be like, "Why is she acting crazy?" Yeah.

It's interesting to have a maze,

a physical maze here.

With madness, what madness takes from you is your essence

and you're always trying to find your way back.

And it is like a maze.

So that's pertinent I suppose, in some ways,

that they're going to put one here.

There was so much distress and so much misery here,

and brutality in lots of ways that people experienced.

To see them mocked in any way is upsetting.

And that's upsetting for me to think

that they would be mocked in any way.

And also that idea that...

...people who were here were violent and dangerous,

which couldn't be further from the truth,

sort of fitting into that stereotype

that people who experience any sort

of mental illness or any sort of mental

distress are fundamentally dangerous.

What have you got there?

A straitjacket that I ordered from America.

Things grow like death down here.

So, what character are you playing?

Basically it's just a psychopath that's...

...slightly childish but smart.

Educated kind of psycho.

Then when I came back here they locked me into this.

But one of my arms is free now.

Sometimes if I'm sitting there the straitjacket

I start thinking about it

...just what happened and if I'm being disrespectful.

Because some of it was pretty bad.

- In the hospital? - Yeah.

Hearing voices has never actually been a problem.

It's the impact that the voices had on me.

My parents became concerned with my behaviour as such

because I was very confused about things.

I would disappear,

they wouldn't know where I was

and I couldn't remember what I'd done.

I was sent to a doctor in Auckland Hospital.

He was a psychiatrist, he told my parents

that he believed

that I should be committed.

And my parents used to come and see me regularly.

After being here for a while

they were told their visits upset me.

And in that day, when the doctor

said something, then that was it.

So they stopped coming to see me

and I never saw them for 18 years.

There's people who run

big businesses and,

to be honest, I think some of them

should have a psychiatric assessment.

They've got no compassion or anything like that.

And then there's people who are

full of compassion and, you know,

have got a more eccentric view

and they're less tolerated than those

people who bully and badger people and

they're who cause people like that to

have mental health issues, you know.

You know what I mean?

Dyslexia, it's a learning disability so,

learning is a bit harder.

But also having ADHD with it as well,

is annoying because I've got to

take medication to make me...

concentrate on my work, otherwise I'd be looking round and

doing texting or reading stuff on the internet.

My only problem was that it wasn't

really pointed out or anything

when I was younger.

All the teachers just thought that I was just a bad kid.

I did get bullied about having dyslexia and all that a lot.

I get called stupid a lot.

But then working here has helped me to

get past being quiet and shy

now, so it's kind of like it's reversing all the damage.

What does a mayor actually do?

So, mayors are responsible for running local government,

providing roads and drains and

all of those sorts of boring things

and somehow managing to fit that into a local economy

that can sustain the rate increases,

all those sorts of things.

So you chair a lot of meetings and

basically every night of the week

I'm out at a meeting somewhere.

I've never watched a horror movie, ever, in my life.

So I have to rely on other people to tell me what happens.

Andy and I sat down one weekend and thought,

'We need to watch horror movies,

this is the business that we're in.'

And we went to the video shop...

that's when there were still videos...

and we got, I think it was seven for $10,

and we sat down and thought,

'We're going to watch these things.'

And we got about 10 minutes into the first one,

looked at each other and thought,

'No, this is not us.'

And we took them back.

I actually don't like being scared.

And do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah.

At our home there's somebody that

stands at the end of the bed

in one of the rooms.

And here at Spookers I've seen somebody.

The scariest thing, and it is supernatural,

is my mother ended up getting possessed.

And it wasn't something that lasted 24 hours,

it lasted a long time

and it was really, really scary.

When it first started and I called the

ambulance and one of the paramedics

turned around and said to me,

"There's nothing we can do to help her."

And then he asked me if we went to church and he goes,

"Call your priest."

She was trying to bite everybody except me.

I didn't get kicked, I didn't get

bitten, didn't get scratched,

but everyone else did.

I was three months pregnant when that happened.

The next night when I found her with a lava-lava

tied around her neck real tight and that was really weird

because I'd gone to the bathroom and I could hear a funny noise

coming from the room.

So I quickly finished up and went in there and I said,

"Mum, are you OK?"

And she was just making this gurgling sound.

Sorry.

We had to hold her down and stuff

to restrain her from doing any further harm.

Just seeing her deteriorate in front of your eyes so quickly

and there not being a real reason behind it was also scary.

I do try to incorporate some of that

stuff that I've seen into what I do.

People might think that, you know, it's just a story.

It's not a story.

My family had to live through that and

it was terrifying to see somebody

go through that, that you really love,

and the repercussions of what happened

afterwards with her health and stuff,

it was just, it was horrible.

It was really horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

There are probably 10 or 20

a night that don't actually make it

through the attractions.

We have customers that curl up into the foetal position.

We have customers that...

just run away screaming,

go and hide in their cars and don't come back.

We obviously have a lot of customers that wet their pants.

Some that do more than just wet their pants, which is unfortunate.

They don't make it through the attractions

because they are scared.

Basically we've done our jobs really, really well.

The most frightened customer I have seen is

a woman cowering in the foetal position in Corn Evil

just sobbing her heart out.

She was so scared that we couldn't actually even move her.

It took quite some time to get her out of the attraction.

How many coats have you got on?

You've got two coats on.

Yeah, yeah. So, tonight

we're doing '13 F-Ed-up Fairy Tales'.

Cool, eh?

The actors get to decide which characters they're going to be,

within reason.

If they are placed inside a set that is, say, for clowns,

then they are going to be a clown.

But they do have creative control over that character

and what it really does look like.

I'm hillbilly along with Claudia tonight.

We're going to do a double act.

Me and David's hillbillies.

We're hillbilly princesses.

We're going to look hot tonight so, yeah...

Do you wear dresses in your real life as well

or only when you're at Spookers?

I never wear dresses in my real life.

Like, I think I'm, like, the only guy

that wears dresses all the time.

I don't really care 'cause it's fun and, I know,

if you're going to go hard at it, it's because,

why not wear a dress if you're a guy?

But, yeah, no, I definitely wouldn't

wear dresses in my real life

but as our character here it's because

I think it's awesome wearing dresses.

The biggest stepping stone

for me was finishing high school.

I actually ran away from home,

and I went out and got a job at McDonald's.

And I was, yeah, I'd just finished high school that year.

A lot of it was more of moving around so much.

I mean, look, I could sit all night

and talk about where I've lived

and where I've stayed.

But, yeah, that's definitely been a journey.

If I had had another son,

he would've been my other son for real

because I don't look at him any differently from my own.

He's been calling me mum since not

long after he started working

and we've just always got on.

I love him so much.

I love him like he's my own.

It was on Halloween two years ago,

whoever wanted to volunteer

to donate blood.

I've never donated blood, ever,

so I thought,

'Oh, I'll go along and donate blood as well.'

And we all got ready at Spookers, early morning...

it was just like a normal day... and donated blood.

Everything was cool.

My phone was going off quite a lot over the weekend.

There was a person from the blood lab.

The doctor told me to sit down in this room

and my blood results said come back and I had HIV positive.

I was at work on the day that he found out the news.

And I got this phone call saying that he needed to talk to me.

I got outside and he was just devastated.

It broke my heart because...

just seeing the type of person that he is

and then for him to get that bad news,

your heart just breaks.

My fear was dying.

And how others would react to it.

My own mum and dad and my brothers and sisters,

I was... They had to find out through

social media, I didn't tell them.

It actually took a month and a half after I was diagnosed

that my own father came and found me.

And the state that I was in, it wasn't a good state.

Yeah.

We all supported him.

Yeah, it didn't change anything.

Just treated him the same way we would.

You know.

So, yeah...

It doesn't change him as a person.

He's still the exact same person we met, you know,

when he first started working there.

So, yeah...

Get away from my baby!

My hands! My hands!

Chainsaw!

OK, go again.

Copy, (INAUDIBLE), thank you. I'll get it done now.

Oh, so, what's happened is we've had some customer

who's got a really bad fright and crapped their pants.

People certainly have a fascination with fear and, you know,

sometimes people will be absolutely terrified

and in the extreme they might wet themselves and so on.

And you think, 'Why are these people doing this?'

And maybe it's testing themselves,

maybe it's peer pressure often as well.

But ultimately they're there to have fun

and we train the actors so that they understand the boundaries

of when it's moved beyond fun.

So sometimes we have to Shh for some customers because

you know they're right on their personal limits.

It's so sad when that happens and, I mean,

we try really hard to look after them because, you know, I mean,

if they are traumatised, that actually,

it's real, it's absolutely real.

And it's so important that we keep

all the actors away from them

and make sure that they feel safe.

We had one girl who came back and she said,

"I was so sure I could do it this time,

this is the fifth time."

And I've talked to myself and I've told

myself that it was all just make-believe

and everything was going to be OK. But it's not."

So I don't know if she's going to come back for a sixth try.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

And why do you think people

want to go to this maze to get scared?

That's why they come... to get scared.

I have no idea. I don't know.

I've never understood horror.

I've never understood horror stories,

probably because I've spent the bulk of my life being so anxious

and living in fear.

The idea of doing that purposely to yourself...

which essentially is what I did...

it doesn't sit with me or resonate with me at all.

I've got no understanding of that.

I get my thrills from doing very ordinary things

because ordinary things are extraordinary for me.

Going out, being able to get in the car and drive somewhere,

that's extraordinary.

For someone who's been incarcerated

for 18 years, that's extraordinary.

Being able to get up when you want to,

admittedly I have to go to work

and do things like that... but I get to drive there.

And what do you do now?

I work at the university

but I also work clinically,

working with people who hear voices as well.

I got married and I had children,

I did all those supposedly very ordinary things.

All of those things are a source

of amazement and wonderment to me.

They give me a huge thrill.

I don't need to come to mazes,

I spent over 20 years of my life living in a maze.

VOICEOVER FROM ELECTRIC CITY BY MUSIC

Already many of the

mutants disguised as human beings

are walking the streets of earth's cities.

Come buy a sausage.

(INAUDIBLE)

Only two dollars.

Only two dollars. Come buy a sausage.

♪ Sausages are beautiful. ♪

♪ Sausages are beautiful. ♪

♪ Sausages are beautiful. ♪

♪ Especially with bread and sauce. ♪

♪ Sausages are beautiful. ♪

♪ Sausages... ♪

♪ Na-Na-Na-nah ♪

I pretty much fell into the insurance field.

Nobody really plans for that kind of

career so, yeah, fell into that one.

And it is very stressful,

especially when you have either a major

disaster like the Christchurch earthquakes or,

you know, just something big that happens.

Or even arguing about the value of a car,

everybody thinks that what they've purchased a car for

is exactly what they're going to get when it gets written off,

but that's not the case.

So, you know, it got pretty stressful,

it really, really affected me.

The stress now, I can't deal with.

I go into a complete panic and shut down.

And what do you think your dream meant?

Me as a mummy and then

as a child under the table

is pretty much how you feel when you're just overcome

with so much emotion on so many different levels.

Dealing with depression and anxiety is kind of like that.

It's kind of like you're bound with all

these emotions and you can't get free.

This time last year I was in hospital.

This time last year I didn't have any

hope and I tried to kill myself.

But this time, this year, it's so much better.

Make-up's going to run now.

1999 we started.

Yeah. A long time now, isn't it?

The first year we did the wool shed

we had a problem in our community,

we had a couple of suicides so it was really tragic.

So we went to, you know, people

that were our friends and we said

you can have one area in the wool shed

to make your own haunted house.

It was sort of 1000 or $2000 was the prize...

No, it was $1000 was the prize for the...

- Best room, yeah. - For the best room, yeah.

And people could vote on the best room

and they would get that money

but all the rest of the money would go to start this charity.

Some friends were electricians,

and built the best electrocution chamber

I've ever seen built anywhere in the world, even to this day.

They put 50,000 volts through it,

so you get this arcing and movement

and made smoke machines and it was horrible.

And then on dress rehearsal night

I was walking past it and I said,

"Guys, what's that smell?"

And they said, "Oh, we've got a secret weapon."

And they lifted up the covers and under

the covers of the chair they had

a hot plate and they're cooking bacon.

And you got this sizzle and smell.

And I was like, "No, you've gone a step too far."

And they'd say, "We could win it if you let us cook the bacon."

But they did win and...

See, bacon makes everything better.

Yeah.

I've got a mum that will give me a hiding.

If I get a... Yeah.

'Cause I'm raised up as Samoan so...

got to go the way of the church, eh.

Bless this place.

Got to bless this place, eh.

- Yeah, - That's cool.

What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?

What about me? No, there's girls but not girlfriend.

Like, they're girls, they're friends, but they're not girlfriends.

Oh, hookups.

No, not that either. Hookups, no.

- Don't lie. - Don't do that.

Yeah, I walk in the night.

- For the hookups. - No.

Yeah.

How do you think your

parents would react if they saw you as,

like, zombie bride?

They would be, like, tripping out.

They would be...

Like, 'cause they haven't really seen me in make-up before

but I know one time they did and,

um, they couldn't believe it.

They thought I was a freak.

But the make-up that they did see

me in was quite moderate make-up,

not really compared to the,

like, zombie, you know, for example.

If they saw zombie, you know, I think my mum would go ballistic.

Beth was one of the pretty girls at school.

Lovely blonde hair, great set of legs,

looked super in hot pants.

I do vaguely remember Andy at school

but, you know, we weren't close friends.

I just knew of him.

He was a nerd, wasn't he?

He was a nerd.

Yeah, probably worked in (INAUDIBLE) room.

Andy and I have been married for 39 years.

It'll be 40 years in February.

One of the things that Andy used to

do for me when we were first married

and for a few years afterwards was,

I loved digging out thistles,

it's one of my favourite things to do

and on the farm he would go

and take the shoes off or take his boots off

and go and run through the thistles for me

so that I'd have thistles to dig out

a day or two later when they'd sort of festered a little bit.

They were made for each other, I think, Beth and Andy.

They just understand each other on a complex level.

Most guys, they don't actually find me too attractive.

You know, it's just crazy 'cause I've actually got,

you know, the whole thing going on.

I've got the looks, I've got the personality... you know,

I'm a fun all-round zombie, you know,

and people just don't take the time to,

you know, learn more about me.

You know, it's like judging a book by its cover,

that's exactly what they do to me.

And it's just so frustrating.

It's so frustrating, seriously.

Have you ever been in love?

No, I haven't been in 'love' love.

But, I don't know, maybe one day.

We'll see.

It's easy for people to say they've been in love.

I think it's a term that gets thrown round heaps.

But, no, I can honestly say, no, I haven't.

What do you think is the hardest thing in your life?

It would probably be...

...not having the ability to make everyone happy,

I think.

I think you can only make so many people

happy with the things you do in life and...

I think the hardest thing is, yeah,

just not making everyone happy.

Not everyone's going to be happy.

So, yeah...

David?

I know that he acts, he's like all out there and stuff

but if you really get to know him, he's pretty private.

Like, he's hidden.

Usually he'll like laughing and stuff all the time but sometimes he's, like,

actually really angry at someone or something but,

he's pretty good at hiding his feelings and his secrets.

He doesn't really tell many secrets,

which is, I guess is all good.

VOICEOVER AND LYRICS FROM ELECTRIC CITY BY MUSIC

Already many of the

mutants disguised as human beings

are walking the streets of earth's cities...

We're here together because of love.

Ultimately my husband will look past my flaws

and see me for what I truly am,

which is beautiful.

Which is beautiful.

There you go. Got 'em running, Mildred.

Ha ha ha.

- OK, ready? - Yeah. One.

- Yep. - Two.

- Yep. - Three.

Did you have fun tonight?

Beth and Julia came out and saw me in hospital and...

I was just blown away by it.

Like, you never get your boss coming to see you

when you're in any kind of situation

like that, not unless, you know,

you're really, really tight with them.

But even then, they don't make house visits.

I reckon it would've been scary

if I'd got admitted 30 years ago.

That's terrifying.

If you actually look into the history

of mental health at any asylum,

whether it was Kingseat or any of the other mental institutions

that New Zealand or even overseas had, it's scary.

It's really scary.

Good luck. I love you.

I'm 21.

There are things that I could be doing better.

You know, in terms of my personal health and...

...that's basically the one thing that's

stopping me, is my personal health and...

Oh, just losing weight.

Diabetes is in my family, basically.

One of the things that I don't want to happen.

But...

you know, I don't necessarily do anything about it.

'Cause I love to procrastinate.

People think it's weird how I'm able to

compare religion and Spookers together.

But I'm like, Spookers family has helped me, basically.

I feel comfortable there.

I feel wanted there.

I feel like there's something I can give there, basically.

And that's the same with my religion...

I feel comfort, I feel wanted,

I feel like there is some things that I can do there.

There's two things that I love the most.

One is my religion and two is performing.

And I love performing.

A couple of months ago I had this dream about me

basically waking up in the middle of the sea.

I hopped off the bed and thought I was going to sink.

And I ended up standing on water.

To my amazement I was basically walking on water.

It kind of made me think of what I could basically be doing with myself

and all these ideas came into my head, like...

what I should be doing with my life,

where I need to be going.

One of the main thoughts that stuck into my mind is

I need to basically leave home.

So at the beginning of this week

I made that decision to leave home

with the support of my family.

And, yeah.

I want this to work in the sense that..

I need the opportunity to learn for myself,

and basically become who I need to be.

♪ Maria Gratia plena ♪

♪ Maria Gratia plena ♪

♪ Ave ♪

♪ Ave Dominus ♪

♪ Dominus Tecum ♪

Ta Da!

And looking back on the last 12 months and...

the journey that I've travelled,

I decided to talk about it on camera so that...

...there may be somebody that's watching that's given up and...

it might help.

Like, they'll be able to say that, hey, things can happen,

things can turn around and...

life isn't as bad as what you'd think it would be.

There's a lot that happens behind the make-up.

Life goes on and you can do anything.

You live a normal life.

I want to put out there that it's OK.

It's OK to be who you are

and it's OK to have whatever disease

or whatever is wrong with you,

that you're still going to be beautiful.

Here at Spookers you're allowed to be a freak.

I think people portray the word freak in a more negative than a positive way.

I think a freak is a good thing... someone that stands out,

that's different, expresses themselves

and isn't ashamed to say or do whatever they please.

Yeah, that's what a freak is.

I think of mental health issues, in a way,

now less as a health issue and much more as a social issue.

Whether it's with someone who is 13

or 14 or someone who's, you know, 17,

right through to 70.

You know, what I see is real loneliness

and feeling that they're not worthy

of having relationships or having friendships.

And that's sad.

That's sad that there's so much loneliness

because if there's so many lonely people

they just have to meet each other.

People, they gather, they pack.

I mean, we used to do it here.

I suppose that's when I sort of started to get more appreciation

of that idea of being in a tribe.

There was always someone who was wise or someone who was kind

or someone you could have a laugh with,

there was someone who could fulfil all your needs

and it didn't have to be one person.

Subtitles by explosiveskull