Original subtitles

[BAND PLAYING REN FAIRE MUSIC]

CROWD: Ooh! Ah!

[GASPS]

MAN: Hmm? Huh?

I still don't get why some people insist on dressing like pirates at a fair for knights.

Because knights are boring. They're so "my lord this" and "my lady that."

"Joust me. Oh, I've got the pox."

Pirates, on the other hand, are awesome. Yar!

I gotta fix this thing.

[CACKLING]

Hmm? Huh?

Hello?

[GASPS]

[GNOME LAUGHING]

[MAN SCREAMING]

I could knit a sash in the time you're taking.

[WOMAN GASPS]

[GNOME LAUGHS]

[SCREAMS]

SCOOBY: Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[TRUMPETS PLAYING FANFARE]

I, Lord Barry, welcome thee to the Royal Knights Faire.

Huzzah, more filthy pirates. Go hang out at a seafood restaurant.

Lord Barry's gotta relax about letting pirates mix with the knights and damsels.

I told him not to worry about historical inaccuracies.

More people, more money. Ow!

Quiet, fool.

Our fair should be kept historically untainted.

Otherwise, who knows what sort of shambling lowlives will arrive?

Peg Leg Shaggy says, arr, shiver me timbers...

and, like, break out the barbecue turkey legs and the mutton kabobs.

Aye, aye, Peg Leg Shaggy, sir.

Any way a girl could dock here?

Aye, but only if ye be in wench garb and talking all piratey.

Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of root beer.

[SCOOBY LAUGHS]

Let's see, I'm thinking of a word that rhymes with:

"No way I'm putting on those dumb clothes."

Man, oh, man, this Knights Faire thing is awesome.

We gotta check out Black Plague Village.

I hear they've got a 6-foot-deep mantrap filled with wild musk hogs.

DAPHNE: Freddy, did you notice my outfit?

Ha, ha. I don't even understand that question.

Hey, guys, look at this.

And it had horrible, glowing green hands.

Right. Now, did this thing leave a name?

Or a business card?

Mayor Jones, sheriff, what happened here?

Nothing unusual, just a standard scary gnome attack.

Aren't gnomes the things people put in gardens?

Posies and pinwheels, Fred, those gnomes are peaceful creatures.

Scary gnomes are something very different, and good for tourism.

So stay out of this.

[WOMAN WHIMPERING]

Hear ye, hear ye, get your cotton-candy clams.

Just like King Richard used to eat.

Oh, who am I kidding?

I thought the gnome would attack me, but it waddled back into the shadows.

Never made a sound.

This is surprisingly bad.

Arr! A mystery fair and true. Best we be to avoid it.

What says ye, Dog Beard?

Aye. Scary gnomes, no.

More cotton-candy clams, aye.

[LAUGHS]

So its touch paralyzed?

For some reason, that doesn't seem like a gnome power.

Goblin, maybe. Or perhaps a sprite.

Well, whatever it was, it's gonna be up to us to find it.

Oh, Fred, you sound so noble when you say that.

[SIGHS]

My mom is running the souvenir stand at the ice-cream moat.

She might know something. Care to come along, Peg Leg?

Ha, ha. Arr!

Like, Dog Beard and me can always go for ice cream.

Yeah, with peanuts and cherries. Hmm?

Arr! I mean, crushed bones and eyeballs.

[IN UNISON] Arr!

Is it me or are pirates basically just hobos with earrings?

Well, I guess that just leaves us.

Looks like it, my fair maiden.

Hey, are those lepers?

[SIGHS]

[SLURPING]

- Mmm. That's, like, good moat. - I'll say.

[BURPS]

Look at him, Mom. Is it me? What am I, radioactive?

Don't be too hard on yourself, Velma.

You're pleasant when you aren't trying to be smarter than everyone.

But I really care about him. And I want him to care about me.

It'll happen, sweetheart.

And if it doesn't, Mommy will mix him up a special drink...

of poison mushrooms and wormwood.

- Mom! - Ha, ha. Kidding.

Anyway, about your scary gnome. This should help.

"I'm Okay, You're a Scary Gnome."

ANGIE: Read it. One thing I can tell you for sure.

If it is a scary gnome you're dealing with, watch out. They hold grudges.

Gah, that queen was a royal jerk.

Yeah. I said, "Ahoy, ahoy" in my pirate voice...

and she stared at me like I was wearing a hat made of live mice.

PIRATE 1: Dude, if I ever found a hat like that, I'd never take it off.

[GNOME CACKLING]

PIRATES [IN UNISON]: Huh?

[CACKLING CONTINUES]

[GROWLS]

[PIRATES SCREAM]

[PIRATES GASP]

[PIRATES SCREAMING]

[PIRATE 2 SOBBING]

PIRATE 2: Mommy.

These attacks could really wipe out business.

[GRUMBLES]

Or not.

We'll be fine. Only wretched pirates are being assaulted.

Let's get back to the fair.

Hmm...

So, what do you say now, Dad?

Looks like that scary gnome needs investigating.

For once, Fred, I agree with you.

- You do? - Absolutely.

For instance, can it play popular tunes on a bank of horns?

Ride a motorcycle in a circle?

Can it spin like a top on its pointy cone head?

- All things we need to investigate. - Right. So stop wasting our time, punk.

Sorry, sorry. I just get excited.

So, what did you find out from your mom, Velma?

There's lots of info on gnomes, but nothing about attacks on pirates.

They like gems, possess weak magic...

and while some gnomes are good and helpful to animals...

others are evil and work as managers in the shady world of fairy wrestling.

Maybe our gnome dropped this.

I found it in the hand of one of the pirate nerds.

Way to go, Daph.

We find out who has the other one, we find our gnome.

Arr! Perhaps Peter Squawk knows a tale or two about this here scary gnome.

What say ye, Pete?

[SHAGGY IMITATES PARROT]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

He knows something.

For the sake of those two, we better hope the whole pirate thing is a coincidence.

[GRUNTING]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[SCREAMS]

[SIREN WAILING]

Just put him in any open chair. We're out of room at the hospital.

And watch those refillable sodas, boys. You're on duty.

The little creep clearly has it in for scurvy scalawags.

No admittance. This is a quarantined area. Besides, the movie's already started.

You're showing them a movie?

Yeah, aren't they, like, frozen with gnomey magic?

I already saw the movie.

Believe me, magically frozen is the perfect viewing state to be in.

- You guys thinking what I'm thinking? - Double feature?

No, we need to get in there and run some tests on those pirates.

Arr. Like, perhaps old Dog Beard and Peg Leg Shaggy should stay outside...

and guard the concession stand.

[GRUMBLES]

JEN [ON SCREEN]: What are you talking about? You said you loved me.

I did, but that was before I decided to hit the road with Larry...

and start a mariachi band. - But Larry is a schnauzer.

I so know how she feels.

Ah, here's a good one. Stand back.

This is gonna get awesome.

[TOOL WHIRRING]

Is everything okay, Velma?

Shaggy and I have been seeing each other.

I knew it. Oh, Velma, I'm so happy for you.

Or not.

I wanna be with him, then he does something stupid.

Then I hate myself for liking him, then I miss him.

Then I see him again, then he does something stupid.

Oh, you are so completely living my life.

I mean, oh, sorry.

You guys having a lady talk? Well, don't leave me out.

Go ahead, tell him. Things can't get any worse.

Velma is having a relationship with Shaggy and she's frustrated...

because her affections aren't returned in the same measure that they're given.

Crazy, huh?

Look, Velma, you're complicating things.

Why have a separate relationship...

when the five of us already have this awesome relationship?

Just try and relax.

We have the rest of our lives together to work out problems.

Besides, I think I found something.

My test indicates the goo is a jellyfish toxin.

Jellyfish toxin?

Precisely. And it causes instant paralysis.

The effect should only last a few days.

Like, just long enough for the Royal Knights Faire to be over tomorrow.

So our only clues are jellyfish toxin and an earring.

It's not much to work with.

Which means we better kick this investigation into high gear.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Ha, ha. Now's our chance, Scooby-Doo.

While the gang is off scary-gnome hunting...

the fair's delicious delights are all ours.

[LAUGHS]

I want to run something through with a spear.

I say, good riddance to those sea scum.

Is he talking about us?

I never let pirates in when I ran things.

You ran things into the ground, you silly tot. That's why I'm in charge.

Yes. Married the rich queen, didn't you?

Well, we'll see how long you stay in charge.

Like, there's his gnome suit.

- We gotta get out of here. - Wait. Look.

Arr. Arr.

Arr, I'm a secret pirate.

I'm a secret pirate.

Ha, ha. Swish.

Avast ye, me hearties. Ha, ha!

I'm a swashbuckler, I am.

Like, wow, that is something I didn't need to see.

My brain needs a shower.

Huh?

[GNOME CACKLING]

[SHAGGY & SCOOBY WHIMPERING]

[SHAGGY SCREAMING]

Get the rest of the gang and save yourself, Scooby-Doo.

[GRUNTS]

[GNOME LAUGHS]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[SCOOBY SIGHS]

[WHIMPERING]

Scooby-Doo, just have a bite of boar. It'll make you feel better.

Oh. It doesn't feel right without Shaggy.

Where's my Shaggy?

[CRYING]

Huh?

[VELMA HUMMING LULLABY]

[GROWLS]

Mm...

Hey, cut it out!

[VELMA GRUNTS]

I miss him too.

It doesn't make sense.

How does the gnome keep vanishing?

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Mr. E?

MR. E [OVER PHONE]: Hello, Mystery Incorporated.

FRED: Whoa! - Listen to me, you creep.

If you know anything about what happened to Shaggy...

MR. E: Well, it's lovely speaking to you too, Velma.

I'm afraid I can't tell you where Shaggy is...

but I can tell you this: Begin your search at the end.

Enjoy the rest of the fair.

- Begin at the end? - Scooby.

[GROWLING]

Hold on. Truce.

I just wanna know, where was the last place you saw Shaggy?

Hmm...

This was the last place I saw Shaggy.

All right, gang, you heard him. Start looking.

[SCREAMS]

Way to go, danger-prone Daphne.

Hey, gang, check it out.

What are we waiting for? Shaggy! Shaggy!

It's like a tree expressway up here.

We could walk all around the park and never be seen.

Looks like we found Mr. Scary Gnome's private highway.

And that means, finally, it's trap time.

What are we going to use for scary-gnome bait?

The one thing a scary gnome can't resist.

A pirate.

[WHIMPERS]

Remember, Scooby, you're doing this for Shaggy.

Scooby-Dooby-arr!

Is Daphne back yet?

She said something about needing bracelets.

We're all set.

Huh?

Huh?

[SIGHS]

[GNOME LAUGHING]

Huh?

[GNOME LAUGHING]

He's making a run for it. Let's cut him off.

Come on, Scooby.

Wait for me.

[GNOME CACKLING]

Fred? Velma? Daphne?

Shaggy!

[SHAGGY MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]

[GROWLING]

Scooby-Doo, like, am I ever glad to see you.

Likewise.

[IN UNISON] Huh?

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[GNOME CACKLING]

[GASPS]

[GROANS]

[GNOME CACKLING]

I figured if the toxin is passed by touch, let him touch some steel.

[CACKLING]

[COUGHING]

Ah, frolicking in Her Majesty's filth pit, are ye?

Begone from there, you miserable pirates.

[GIRLS YELLING]

He's headed toward the entrance.

Stop that gnome.

[GNOME LAUGHING]

[SCOOBY & SHAGGY SCREAM]

VELMA: Whoa!

[BARRY GRUNTING]

[CRASHES]

[FRED GRUNTS]

Now let's see who you really are.

[ALL GASP]

ALL [IN UNISON]: The court fool?

That's my husband, Gill Littlefoot.

What did you think you were doing, fool?

What I've wanted to do for years. Frame you for the gnome attacks...

and once you were out of the way, take your fortune for my own.

Ow! Will you stop that?

But you're too tall. How could you ever be the gnome?

There's a reason our family name is Littlefoot.

[BOTH GASP]

I planned this over a year.

And while I've always hid my tiny legs...

this finally provided me a way to make them useful.

Since Amanda's dislike of pirates was well-known...

I planted her earring on a victim hoping to throw suspicion her way.

I used my toxin-coated gloves to paralyze all the pirates.

But you would not quit.

The beautiful part is that because of my...

I believe the medical term is "baby legs."

No one would have ever suspected me.

That is until you meddling, gnome-hating, pirate-loving...

Yeah, yeah, shrimp-o, we get the picture.

All these years you've looked down on me.

Now it turns out I'm actually taller than you.

Ow!

Let's go, Littlefootie. Ha, ha.

Boy, I had big plans for him. Thanks for nothing. Again.

Anytime, Pop.

Still a couple of hours before closing.

Who's up for tossing some alms at the poor? I'm buying.

Arr. Like, Peg Leg Shaggy could go for another round of clam cotton candy.

What say ye, Dog Beard?

I say, Scooby-Dooby-arr.

I so sympathize with what you're feeling. But, seriously, trust your heart.

I will. Good luck.

To both of us.

Fred Jones, don't you dare throw anything at the poor without me.

[GRUNTS]

VELMA: Hey, dude, watch it.

Huh?

Jerkweed, you dropped something.

[GASPS]

"Don't give up. This has all happened before."

What has happened before?

[English - US - SDH]