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1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,586
[whinnies]
2
00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:06,839
Hello. I'm Mister Ed.
3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:13,345
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
4
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,514
♪ And no one can talkto a horse, of course ♪
5
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,149
♪ That is, of course,unless the horse ♪
6
00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:19,852
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,487
♪ Go right to the sourceand ask the horse ♪
8
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:24,190
♪ He'll give you the answerthat you'll endorse ♪
9
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,358
♪ He's always ona steady course ♪
10
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,443
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
11
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,259
Murphy's Vita-Mix.
12
00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:47,513
How about some nice,
healthy Murphy's Vita-Mix?
13
00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:49,682
Ick.
14
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,850
It's good stuff.
Put hair on your tail.
15
00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:55,638
Yeah? How about some
of that molasses mix?
16
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:57,272
Mol-- Oh, no.
17
00:00:57,273 --> 00:00:58,891
No molasses mix for you.
18
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,526
This sweet stuff
is bad for your teeth.
19
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:02,145
[laughs]
20
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,864
Ever hear of a horse
with false choppers?
21
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,567
Hey, Murph!
22
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:11,904
[dings]
23
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,708
Nice tone, isn't it?
24
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,961
I used to play the musical
triangle at school.
25
00:01:18,962 --> 00:01:21,130
[dings]
26
00:01:21,131 --> 00:01:24,384
♪ Cheers, cheers
for Mulholland High ♪
27
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,002
♪ We have the team
that never-- ♪
28
00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,636
[dings]
29
00:01:27,637 --> 00:01:30,339
♪ We'll win the day
or we'll know why ♪
30
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:33,593
♪ For we are Mulholland High ♪
31
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,761
[dings]
32
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,396
Hello, Mr. Post.
33
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:38,481
Oh.
[chuckles]
34
00:01:38,481 --> 00:01:40,099
I was just--
35
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,268
Our school football song.
36
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,436
I hear. I hope you win.
37
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,605
I've got a few things
to pick out here.
38
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:47,690
Good. Fine.
39
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,324
[Man]
Mr. Murphy.
40
00:01:49,325 --> 00:01:52,027
Excuse me, but have you
got any little odd jobs for me today?
41
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,662
Oh, no, I'm sorry, John.
42
00:01:53,663 --> 00:01:55,281
- Oh.
- Wait a minute.
43
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:56,365
Have you had your breakfast?
44
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,000
Well, I wasn't very hungry.
45
00:01:58,001 --> 00:01:59,085
Come here.
46
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,844
What can I do
for you, Mr. Post?
47
00:02:08,845 --> 00:02:11,013
Oh, Ed's out of food again.
48
00:02:11,014 --> 00:02:12,098
He can sure put it away, huh?
49
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:14,800
Yeah. We've got
a TV set and a bar,
50
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,435
and he likes to nibble
during the commercials.
51
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,223
What'll it be today?
52
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,307
A sack of cracked corn,
53
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,475
and a sack of cracked wheat,
54
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,110
and a crack of sacked--
55
00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:26,195
a crack of--
56
00:02:26,196 --> 00:02:27,814
a bag of that barley, and--
57
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,404
And a sack of molasses mix.
58
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,208
I'll be right back.
Got to get my order book.
59
00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:44,630
You sure got
a smart horse, Mr. Post.
60
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:45,715
Here you are, boy.
61
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,501
Don't let him con you.
He's a big moocher.
62
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:52,221
He's beautiful.
63
00:02:52,222 --> 00:02:53,840
Good sound withers,
64
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:54,924
deep flanks,
65
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,008
and nice, turned hocks.
66
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,177
And a big fat bay window.
67
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,346
I laid his saddle out
twice this year.
68
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,514
Mr. Post, could you use
someone around the barn
69
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,599
to take care of him?
70
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,234
I've had a lot of experience.
71
00:03:05,235 --> 00:03:06,853
Oh, I'm sorry.
Ed's very spoiled.
72
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,487
I have to feed him myself
73
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,106
and bathe him and comb him
74
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,190
and rub him down.
75
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,359
I'm not really his owner.
I'm his butler.
76
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:16,612
Well, if you hear anything,
especially around horses--
77
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,781
My name is John McGibney,
78
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:20,415
amd I hang around here a lot.
79
00:03:20,416 --> 00:03:23,118
- Fine, fine.
- Good-bye, Mr. Post.
80
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:23,669
Bye.
81
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,006
Nice guy.
82
00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:30,709
Sure is.
He gave you his breakfast.
83
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,344
And I took it.
84
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:34,513
Gosh, I'm a pig.
85
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,851
I wrote up your order.
86
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:39,935
If you'll sign it
right there
87
00:03:39,936 --> 00:03:41,554
- at the bottom, please.
- Thank you.
88
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,722
That Mr. McGibney seems to know
an awful lot about horses.
89
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,442
He should. He's worked around
racetracks all his life.
90
00:03:46,442 --> 00:03:48,610
Yeah? How is it
he can't seem to get a job?
91
00:03:48,611 --> 00:03:50,229
Oh, couple of months ago,
92
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,949
he got ruled off the track
for doping a horse.
93
00:03:52,949 --> 00:03:56,202
Oh, that's a shame.
He seems like such a nice man.
94
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:59,455
He is, he is.
He still says he's innocent.
95
00:03:59,455 --> 00:04:02,708
I'd like to believe him,
but the track steward's proved
96
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:03,793
that he was
the only one around
97
00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:07,046
when this horse, Lady Sue,
got that goofball.
98
00:04:07,046 --> 00:04:08,130
And she lost the race?
99
00:04:08,131 --> 00:04:09,749
Are you kidding?
100
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,917
That jockey could have been
arrested for loitering.
101
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:15,171
I'll have your order delivered
first thing in the morning.
102
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:16,805
Thank you. Let's go, Ed.
103
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,931
Wilbur, give that man a job.
104
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,565
No, Ed. I don't have
any work for him.
105
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,184
Even if I did,
106
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,352
I wouldn't want a man around
who doped a horse.
107
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,437
He's innocent.
108
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:32,521
How do you know?
109
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,156
Animal instinct.
110
00:04:34,157 --> 00:04:35,775
How do you know, Ed?
111
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,943
How do I know I'm an animal?
112
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,578
Yeah-- Oh, no.
113
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:40,663
Come on. Let's go home.
114
00:04:40,663 --> 00:04:42,281
Well, you won't do it.
115
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,450
I'm gonna find him a job.
116
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,619
What did you say?
117
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,253
Uh, nothing.
118
00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:50,422
Can't a horse talk to himself?
119
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,507
Yeah.
120
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,214
Hello, Wilbur.
121
00:04:59,849 --> 00:05:00,382
Hi, beast.
122
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,017
Hi, Rog.
123
00:05:02,018 --> 00:05:04,186
How does it feel to be
a bachelor again, huh?
124
00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:05,805
Well, I'll tell you.
125
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,439
When you've been married
for 20 years,
126
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,608
and your wife goes to visit
her mother for a week,
127
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,227
you don't feel like
a bachelor right away.
128
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,311
You don't?
129
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,946
No, it's like leaving
the dentist
130
00:05:13,946 --> 00:05:15,564
after having a tooth pulled.
131
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:16,649
When the novacaine wears off,
132
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,283
you're back with
the same old pain.
133
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:20,452
That's a very
interesting analogy.
134
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:23,155
I must remember to tell that
to Kay when she gets back.
135
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,240
You wouldn't.
136
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,874
Oh, don't worry.
137
00:05:25,875 --> 00:05:27,493
Kay's got a great sense
of humor.
138
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,746
She'll laugh
all the way to Reno.
139
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,915
Admit it.
You're lost without her.
140
00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:35,083
Yeah, that's true.
141
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:36,718
Hey, Wilbur, before Kay left,
142
00:05:36,719 --> 00:05:38,887
I promised I'd have
our living room painted.
143
00:05:38,888 --> 00:05:40,506
How about giving
a neighbor a hand?
144
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,674
I'd like to,
but this is Thursday.
145
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,843
That's the day
I wash down Ed's stall.
146
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,478
Tell him it's Wednesday.
He won't know the difference.
147
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:47,563
It won't work.
148
00:05:47,563 --> 00:05:49,181
He's got a calendar
in his stall.
149
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,435
Well, at least give me a hand
150
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,069
pushing the furniture around.
151
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:56,772
Okay, let's go.
152
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,407
Great. That stuff's heavy.
153
00:05:58,408 --> 00:06:00,026
Yeah. You take the piano.
I'll take the stool.
154
00:06:02,745 --> 00:06:05,998
I know just the guy
to help him paint that room.
155
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:14,673
Wilbur?
156
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:17,376
I've just been going over
Ed's feed bills.
157
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:21,180
How come Mr. Murphy
is charging us $2.00 more for the barley?
158
00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:22,798
Oh, that's a special barley.
159
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,967
It's flown in from Maryland.
It's Ed's favorite.
160
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:28,220
You've paid more
for his breakfast than we pay for ours.
161
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,855
Special barley?
162
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,474
Ed's seemed
a little sluggish lately.
163
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,727
With all that rich food,
he probably has the gout.
164
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,361
A horse has to be fed.
165
00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:38,530
You just can't slip him $2.00
and expect him to eat out.
166
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:41,233
How about slipping me $2.00
and letting me eat out?
167
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,868
Oh, I love you
when you get angry.
168
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:43,953
Come here, tiger.
169
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:46,655
Hi.
170
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,290
Mm?
171
00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:51,544
Oh, uh, hello, Mr. McGibney.
This is my wife.
172
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:53,712
We're married.
173
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:54,797
Hello.
174
00:06:54,797 --> 00:06:57,499
I sure got to hand it
to you, Mr. Post.
175
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,668
You pick women
as good as you do horses.
176
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:03,472
Yes, I know. She's got
sound withers, deep flanks, and well-turned hocks.
177
00:07:03,473 --> 00:07:06,175
What's going on, Wilbur?
Am I on an auction block?
178
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:08,343
I only meant it
as a compliment, Mr. Post.
179
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:09,428
Yes.
180
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,597
Well, excuse me, dear.
181
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,316
What can I do for you,
Mr. McGibney?
182
00:07:14,317 --> 00:07:15,401
You phoned Murphy
183
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:18,103
and said you knew a man
who wanted some painting done.
184
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,188
I phoned Mr. Murphy?
185
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,779
Oh. Well, it must have been
some mistake.
186
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:30,032
Oh? I sure could use the work
right now.
187
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:32,751
Yes, well, I'm sorry
if somebody got you down here
188
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:33,836
on a wild goose chase, but--
189
00:07:33,836 --> 00:07:36,538
Look, would a few dollars
help you out?
190
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,258
Oh, Mr. Post, I'm not
looking for a handout.
191
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:43,045
Wilbur, Roger is looking
for someone to help him paint his living room.
192
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,679
Maybe he phoned Mr. Murphy.
193
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,298
No, he didn't.
194
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,383
How do you know?
195
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,551
Come on, Mr. McGibney.
I'll take you next door.
196
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:53,355
I sure appreciate this work,
Mr. Addison.
197
00:07:53,356 --> 00:07:54,974
Yeah, you told me.
198
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,142
Now, Mr. McGibney,
before you start,
199
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,311
I think we should come
to some financial arrangement.
200
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,480
Why don't you pay me
whatever you think is fair?
201
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:05,818
No, that's no good.
It only leads to trouble later.
202
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:11,240
What do you customarily charge
for a little job like this?
203
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,493
Well, you want to pay me
by the hour or by the job?
204
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,578
Which is cheaper?
205
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,746
It comes out about the same.
206
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,915
About? Then one is cheaper.
207
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,084
- I suppose so.
- Which one?
208
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:26,421
Look, why don't you just pay me
what you think is fair?
209
00:08:30,226 --> 00:08:32,928
- Dollar an hour?
- Oh, that's more than fair.
210
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:36,182
Mr. McGibney, I don't want
to be more than fair. I want to be just fair.
211
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,901
Well, what would
a regular painter charge?
212
00:08:38,901 --> 00:08:41,603
We'll make it a dollar an hour,
and I'll throw in your lunch.
213
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:42,688
Fine.
214
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:44,857
Wait, wait, wait.
215
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:48,660
Don't start until I say go.
216
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:52,998
Four, three, two, one.
217
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:53,532
Go.
218
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,207
Ed.
219
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,842
Hi, buddy boy.
220
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:06,011
Don't you buddy boy me,
you big phony.
221
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:09,265
Who told you to phone Murphy
and offer McGibney that job?
222
00:09:09,265 --> 00:09:11,433
Nobody. It was my own idea.
223
00:09:11,434 --> 00:09:14,136
Ed, the man
drugged a race horse.
224
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:15,770
He's not reliable.
225
00:09:15,771 --> 00:09:17,939
He may rob Addison's house.
226
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:19,558
Never. He's honest.
227
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,727
I'd bet my tail on it.
228
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,361
Oh, you would?
229
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:24,980
You'd look pretty funny
walking around here
230
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:27,149
with a feather duster
where your tail used to be.
231
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:30,952
Please, Wilbur,
trust my animal instinct.
232
00:09:30,953 --> 00:09:34,206
This man never doped Lady Sue.
233
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:35,824
This animal instinct,
234
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,993
this enables you to pick out
an honest man?
235
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,162
I picked you, Wilbur.
236
00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:43,965
Uh...
237
00:09:43,966 --> 00:09:48,303
Okay, Ed, I won't blow
the whistle on him this time.
238
00:09:48,304 --> 00:09:51,557
But believe me,
if he causes Addison any trouble,
239
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:55,894
I'm coming back in here
with a feather duster and a pair of scissors.
240
00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:57,513
Oh.
241
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:05,654
Roger, I found some more
old newspapers in the garage.
242
00:10:05,655 --> 00:10:08,357
Thank you, my dear.
I really appreciate this.
243
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:10,525
- Here, I'll give you a hand.
- Good.
244
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,160
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
245
00:10:12,161 --> 00:10:15,948
♪ 'Twas a lovely day
in August ♪
246
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,582
♪ And the sun was in the sky ♪
247
00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:23,005
♪ A-beamin'
on the blue lake ♪
248
00:10:23,005 --> 00:10:25,173
♪ Sparkle in your eye ♪
249
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,129
♪ I met this fair young lady ♪
250
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:35,467
♪ Sitting near
the Blarney stone ♪
251
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:40,356
♪ I spoke to her,
she spoke to me ♪
252
00:10:40,356 --> 00:10:43,609
♪ And now she is me home ♪
253
00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:48,480
♪ 'Twas a lovely day
in August ♪
254
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,115
♪ The sun was in the sky ♪
255
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:53,368
♪ A-beamin'
on the blue lake ♪
256
00:10:53,369 --> 00:10:55,537
What are you doing?
257
00:10:55,538 --> 00:10:57,156
I like to sing while I paint.
258
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,324
!Well, how about painting
to this song?
259
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:03,128
[hums Irish jig]
260
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,000
Roger.
261
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,084
Huh?
262
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,169
[hums Irish jig]
263
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:12,887
[McGibney hums Irish jig]
264
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,193
Well, good-bye, Mr. Post.
265
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:10,896
I'm sorry for all the trouble
I've caused you and your wife.
266
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:15,234
Mr. McGibney,
why did you do it?
267
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,318
Do what?
268
00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:17,952
Drug that horse.
269
00:12:17,953 --> 00:12:21,206
I never drugged Lady Sue.
270
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,375
Mr. Post, I love horses.
271
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,993
My father raised horses.
272
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,162
I was brought up
around stables.
273
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,331
Why, many the night
I've paced the floor
274
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:30,415
when one of my horses
was foaling.
275
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,584
And the night Lady Sue
was born,
276
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,838
I tell you, I was that proud,
I wanted to pass out cigars.
277
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:39,641
Mr. Post,
I'd cut off my right arm
278
00:12:39,642 --> 00:12:41,260
before I'd drug that horse.
279
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:44,513
Or any horse.
280
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:47,766
Ah, you don't believe me.
281
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,485
Nobody does.
282
00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:54,823
I believe you.
283
00:12:54,824 --> 00:12:55,908
You do?
284
00:12:56,992 --> 00:12:59,160
Well, thanks, Mr. Post.
285
00:12:59,161 --> 00:13:02,948
Now, do you have any idea
who might have drugged Lady Sue?
286
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:06,201
Only Lady Sue knows that,
287
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:09,455
so what chance have I got,
since horses can't talk?
288
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,089
Well, I'll be seeing you,
Mr. Post.
289
00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:27,889
Ed, I'm taking you
to the race track with me.
290
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,524
Sorry, Wilbur.
291
00:13:29,525 --> 00:13:32,227
My mother taught us kids
never to bet.
292
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,312
Ed, I just had a talk
with McGibney.
293
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:36,565
Now, there's only one way
we can prove his innocence.
294
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:39,284
Only Lady Sue knows
who slipped her that pill, right?
295
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:40,903
So?
296
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:41,987
So I sneak you into the stall,
297
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,621
you talk to her in horse talk,
298
00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:46,324
and we find out who did it.
299
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:49,578
- Oh, Wilbur?
- Huh?
300
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,746
I always knew I was smart,
301
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,381
but I got to say one thing.
302
00:13:53,382 --> 00:13:54,466
What?
303
00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:56,634
Some of it's
rubbed off on you.
304
00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:15,988
Hi.
305
00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:19,775
Hey, wait a minute.
306
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,409
Who are you?
307
00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:22,494
Eddie Johnson.
308
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:24,112
We just came in from Pimlico.
309
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,832
They don't race at Pimlico
in the winter.
310
00:14:26,832 --> 00:14:27,916
That's why we're here.
311
00:14:27,917 --> 00:14:30,085
Wait a minute.
312
00:14:30,085 --> 00:14:32,253
Ain't you kind of tall
for a jockey?
313
00:14:32,254 --> 00:14:34,422
Not when I'm sitting down.
314
00:14:34,423 --> 00:14:36,591
Hold it.
315
00:14:36,592 --> 00:14:38,210
You know, you're too heavy
for a jockey.
316
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:42,013
Well, that's all foam rubber.
I bruise easily.
317
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,266
What's the gag?
318
00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:48,520
You trying to pass off
this overweight plug as a race horse?
319
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:55,026
That's what you get
for calling him a plug.
320
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:56,645
Look, this is Sir Galahad.
321
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:58,279
Now, we're late
for the workout,
322
00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,364
and if you don't let him
get through,
323
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:00,983
you'll be in trouble
with the owners.
324
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,067
Yeah? Well,
suppose we just check.
325
00:15:04,787 --> 00:15:08,574
What's the owner's name?
326
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:09,658
April Fool.
327
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,884
We've got to prove
he's innocent.
328
00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:21,586
How do I get you in
to talk to Lady Sue?
329
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,221
Get me two pairs of pants,
330
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,390
and I'll go in as
Huntley and Brinkley.
331
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:28,644
Oh, stop that.
332
00:15:28,644 --> 00:15:30,262
Anyway, it's too bad Lady Sue
can't speak English.
333
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,896
Then I could talk to her.
334
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:35,150
Yeah. It's too bad
you don't know horse talk.
335
00:15:35,150 --> 00:15:36,768
Yeah.
336
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,937
Hey, why not?
337
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,572
Why not what?
338
00:15:40,572 --> 00:15:42,740
Why don't I teach you
horse talk?
339
00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:43,825
Are you serious?
340
00:15:43,826 --> 00:15:45,994
It's easy, Wilbur.
341
00:15:45,995 --> 00:15:51,200
Our language is based on
short neighs and long neighs.
342
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,585
You mean something like
the Morse code?
343
00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:56,287
Yeah, only ours
is a horse code.
344
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:59,007
Ed, do you really think
you could teach me enough
345
00:15:59,008 --> 00:16:01,710
- to talk to Lady Sue?
- Ha ha ha!
346
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:04,963
Three lessons from me, Wilbur,
and you'll be growing a tail.
347
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,766
[neighs]
348
00:16:09,852 --> 00:16:10,936
How's that, Ed?
349
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:12,554
No good.
350
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:15,273
You got five beats
instead of four.
351
00:16:16,358 --> 00:16:18,526
I'll do it slow for you.
352
00:16:18,527 --> 00:16:21,780
[neighs]
353
00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:23,398
Go ahead. Now you try it.
354
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,567
[neighs]
355
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,201
Well, that's pretty good.
356
00:16:27,202 --> 00:16:30,455
Try running it together.
357
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,074
[neighs]
358
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,708
Perfect.
359
00:16:33,709 --> 00:16:35,877
Now, you've got the letter C.
360
00:16:35,878 --> 00:16:37,496
Okay. What's D?
361
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:42,384
Well, a D is a C,
only shake your tail after it.
362
00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:47,255
What tail?
363
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,975
Use what you got.
A horse will understand.
364
00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:52,143
Ed, show me D.
365
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:53,228
Certainly.
366
00:16:53,228 --> 00:16:55,930
[neighs]
367
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,818
Your turn, Wilbur.
368
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:02,987
Well, I'll give it a try.
369
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:05,156
[neighs]
370
00:17:06,241 --> 00:17:09,494
Oh, no, you shook
your tail twice.
371
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:10,579
That's a W.
372
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,916
It's no use, Ed.
I'm just a linguist.
373
00:17:14,917 --> 00:17:17,619
Don't give up,
little Pygmalion.
374
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,253
But it's so tough.
375
00:17:19,254 --> 00:17:20,872
Remember,
McGibney's whole futuLre
376
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,342
depends on your learning
horse talk.
377
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,210
Did you have this much trouble
learning English?
378
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:29,547
No, but I had an advantage.
I knew Latin.
379
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:33,351
Okay, Ed. What's next?
380
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:36,054
Well, let's review
what we learned.
381
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,223
And don't the gestures.
382
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,645
A is a short neigh.
383
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:44,729
Mm-hm.
384
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,983
B is like A,
only you stamp your foot.
385
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:49,067
Yeah.
386
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,236
C is a B,
but you shake your mane.
387
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,320
Uh-huh.
388
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,489
And D is a C,
but I shake my tail.
389
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:58,293
Hey, he's got it.
By George, he's got it.
390
00:17:58,293 --> 00:17:59,377
Go ahead, Wilbur.
391
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:00,462
Oh, good.
392
00:18:00,462 --> 00:18:02,630
[clears throat]
393
00:18:02,631 --> 00:18:06,418
Let's see now. A--
[neighs]
394
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:10,221
And B is--
[neighs]
395
00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:13,475
H--
[neighs]
396
00:18:13,475 --> 00:18:15,093
That's capital H, sorry.
397
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,178
[neighs]
398
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,515
[neighs]
399
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,150
[stamps foot]
400
00:18:22,151 --> 00:18:28,106
[neighs]
401
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,275
Hi, Rog.
402
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:31,909
What are you doing?
403
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:34,612
Just kidding around with Ed.
404
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,247
You're sick.
405
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:37,866
I'll put him
back in his stall.
406
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:39,500
Come on, boy. There we go.
407
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,838
I brought back your spray gun.
408
00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:46,541
Oh, thanks. I'll buy you one
for Christmas.
409
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,710
And I'll buy you
a walkie-talkie,
410
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,878
so you can keep in touch
with your horse.
411
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:51,963
[neighs]
412
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:54,683
That's H.
413
00:19:01,190 --> 00:19:03,892
Well, I guess I did look
a little ridiculous.
414
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:07,695
I'll never learn
your language.
415
00:19:07,696 --> 00:19:10,398
Walkie-talkie.
416
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,567
Ed, I won't have to learn
your language.
417
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:14,736
You are going to talk
to Lady Sue.
418
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:17,989
Oh, here we go again.
419
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,463
This is Wilbur. Come in, Ed.
420
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,548
Come in, Ed.
421
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,182
I read you, Wilbur.
422
00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:23,605
I read you.
Over and out. Roger.
423
00:20:23,605 --> 00:20:26,858
Ed, would you talk
to Lady Sue?
424
00:20:26,858 --> 00:20:29,026
Ask her if she can remember
getting a pill
425
00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:32,814
just before her last race.
426
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:34,448
[neighs]
427
00:20:34,449 --> 00:20:38,236
[neighs]
428
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:47,462
[neighs]
429
00:20:47,462 --> 00:20:49,080
What'd she say, Ed?
430
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,249
She said the pill
was a gasser,
431
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,418
and where can she get
some more?
432
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:58,306
Ask her if Mr. McGibney
gave her that pill.
433
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,813
[neighs]
434
00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:12,937
[neighs]
435
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:15,106
What'd she say?
436
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,826
She says McGibney
is a sweet man,
437
00:21:17,826 --> 00:21:22,163
and he wouldn't even
give her an aspirin without a prescription.
438
00:21:22,164 --> 00:21:25,951
Ask her if she remembers
who did give her the pill.
439
00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:31,373
[neighs]
440
00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:40,598
[neighs]
441
00:21:44,936 --> 00:21:46,554
Well?
442
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:50,358
She says she's bad on names,but she can describe the man.
443
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:54,146
He always wears
a pork pie hat, a black shirt,
444
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,314
and a white tie.
445
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:59,034
A pork pie hat, a black shirt,
and a white tie.
446
00:21:59,034 --> 00:22:01,736
That's great, Ed.
I'll get that desription right over to the police.
447
00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:07,158
Where do you think
you're going?
448
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,793
You--
449
00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:10,962
Who are you?
450
00:22:10,962 --> 00:22:13,664
What was that about
a black shirt and white tie?
451
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:15,299
Uh-oh.
452
00:22:17,469 --> 00:22:19,637
Who you talking to
on that thing?
453
00:22:19,638 --> 00:22:21,806
I was talking to my horse.
454
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,059
A wise guy, huh?
455
00:22:25,060 --> 00:22:27,228
Well, what I mean is,
456
00:22:27,229 --> 00:22:29,397
my horse was talking
to this horse.
457
00:22:29,398 --> 00:22:31,016
Oh, you are?
458
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,650
- Why...
- It's true.
459
00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:35,353
You see, horses do talk
to each other.
460
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:36,988
They have their own language.
461
00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:39,690
Like A is--
[neighs]
462
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:42,410
And B is--
[neighs]
463
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:46,748
And C is--
[neighs]
464
00:22:46,748 --> 00:22:48,366
No, that's W.
465
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,001
Just one like that.
Please.
466
00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:53,788
All right. You can go ahead
and shoot me,
467
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:55,423
but you'll neverget away with it.
468
00:22:55,424 --> 00:22:57,042
Lady Sue knows it was you
469
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,126
who gave her that pill.
470
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,295
Lady Sue?
471
00:23:01,930 --> 00:23:03,014
Lady Sue?
472
00:23:06,268 --> 00:23:08,970
Okay, mister,
now who are you?
473
00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:10,604
- Me?
- What's your angle?
474
00:23:10,605 --> 00:23:14,392
Are you looking for
some kind of pay-off to keep quiet?
475
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:16,027
No, no.
476
00:23:16,027 --> 00:23:18,729
Then you better level with me.
477
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:20,364
Now, who else knows it was me
478
00:23:20,365 --> 00:23:22,533
who slipped Lady Sue
that goofball?
479
00:23:22,534 --> 00:23:25,236
Well, it's just me
and my horse,
480
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:28,490
and that nice big policeman
behind you.
481
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:30,124
All right, buddy. Come on.
482
00:23:30,125 --> 00:23:33,378
Put your hands up
against the wall. Move.
483
00:23:33,378 --> 00:23:35,546
- Who are you?
- Huh?
484
00:23:35,547 --> 00:23:37,715
Oh, I remember.
You're that heavy jockey.
485
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:42,053
Not anymore.
I just lost ten pounds.
486
00:23:42,053 --> 00:23:44,221
[neighs]
487
00:23:44,222 --> 00:23:45,840
You can say that again, Ed.
488
00:23:58,019 --> 00:24:00,187
You know, I still don't know
how you did it, Mr. Post,
489
00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:03,441
but it's grand having
my old job back with Lady Sue.
490
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:05,076
You belong here, Mr. McGibney.
491
00:24:05,076 --> 00:24:07,244
I'd like you to call me John.
492
00:24:07,245 --> 00:24:10,498
Thank you. I'd like you
to call me Wilbur.
493
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:13,751
All right, Wilbur.
494
00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:18,089
You know, it's nice
having friends like you and Mrs. Post and Mister Ed.
495
00:24:18,089 --> 00:24:19,173
[Ed whinnies]
496
00:24:19,174 --> 00:24:22,427
Uh, he wants you
to call him just Ed.
497
00:24:22,427 --> 00:24:24,595
Ed?
498
00:24:24,596 --> 00:24:26,764
Excuse me a minute.
I got to get her some water.
499
00:24:26,765 --> 00:24:30,552
- I'll be right back.
- Sure, sure.
500
00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:33,271
You know,
he gave me some passes
501
00:24:33,271 --> 00:24:35,439
to watch Lady Sue run
on Saturday.
502
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,142
I did better than that.
[chuckles]
503
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:41,396
I got a date with her
right after the race.
504
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,368
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
505
00:24:47,369 --> 00:24:49,537
♪ And no one can talkto a horse, of course ♪
506
00:24:49,538 --> 00:24:51,706
♪ That is, of course,unless the horse ♪
507
00:24:51,706 --> 00:24:53,874
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
508
00:24:53,875 --> 00:24:56,043
♪ Go right to the sourceand ask the horse ♪
509
00:24:56,044 --> 00:24:57,128
♪ He'll give youthe answer ♪
510
00:24:57,128 --> 00:24:58,212
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
511
00:24:58,213 --> 00:25:00,381
♪ He's alwayson a steady course ♪
512
00:25:00,382 --> 00:25:02,550
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
513
00:25:02,551 --> 00:25:04,169
♪ People yakkity-yaka streak ♪
514
00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:06,337
♪ And wasteyour time of day ♪
515
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,506
♪ But Mister Edwill never speak ♪
516
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,675
♪ Unless he hassomething to say ♪
517
00:25:10,675 --> 00:25:12,843
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
518
00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:15,012
♪ And this one will talktill his voice is hoarse ♪
519
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♪ You never heardof a talking horse? ♪
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♪ Well, listen to this ♪
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[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
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Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
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[Man]This has beena Filmways presentation.
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