All language subtitles for Pallu07

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [moaning]

female narrator:
Recently, Darby had entered

an emotional relationship
with herself

and a physical one

with a coder
from an e-scooter startup.

Ezra had a good face

and zero personality,

which suited her perfectly.

- Uh.

♪ ♪

Um, I just need to stop
for a second.

Sorry.

- Are you okay?
- Um...

- Most people tell me
I'm really good at that.

- You are.
It's very good.

Um, I just feel like, um,

something's just
a little off

and I just wanna, like,
leave a little mystery,

you know?

So, um, I'm gonna--

[quietly]
I'm gonna call you.

♪ ♪

[car horns honking]

[groaning and retching]

[coughing]

♪ ♪

- Darby,
I'm so glad you called.

I've been cleaning out
the house all day.

I've decided
to do an emotional purge

and I need to know
what you want me to do

about your Beanie Babies.

- Mom?

- Is everything okay?

- Yeah, everything's fine.

Um, I wanted to tell you

I'm about to
have my appendix out.

- Should I come out there?

- No. Um, no.

I'm with Sara. She's here.

[indistinct conversation]

Um...maybe.

Yeah, if it's not too much.

- Okay, I'll get there
as soon as I can.

You're gonna be okay, okay?
I love you.

- Thanks.
Um, I love you, Mom.

- Bye.
- Okay.

[upbeat dreamy music]

♪ ♪

- Welcome back,
we're getting live pictures

of the White House.

Just moments ago, President
Trump made remarks...

- It's 5:00 somewhere.

- [squeals happily]

- Oh, God.

- I mean, everyone thought
I was an idiot

because Jim wanted
to lock it down.

- I want this chair
to live under those pictures.

- Oh, okay.

- I mean,
marriage doesn't mean anything.

I was married to two babies

masquerading as adults.
- Okay.

- I mean, look at what happened
with, uh--

with Darby and Magnus.
- Oh, God.

- I mean, what a disappointing
asshole he turned out to be.

- [groans softly]

- Oh!

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I just need to pee.
- Okay, come here.

Let me carry you.
- Oh, Mom, oh, my God.

What are you doing?
- I'm gonna carry you in there.

- No, no, no.
What are you--

Ow, you're making it
so much worse.

- Oh, my God.
Okay, calm down. Calm down.

You can put some weight on,
right?

- Do you guys need help?
- No.

- Just gonna go have
a little tinkle.

- All right, all right,
just let me--

- [sighs]

- I'm sorry you had to come all
the way out here to help me.

- Oh, I didn't have to,
I wanted to.

And there's a big difference,
believe it or not.

One of my goals in therapy
right now

is to try to be more present
with the people I love.

Shana is trying to get me
to understand

relationships are exchanges,
right?

I mean, you can't pour
from an empty cup.

- Right.

Sorry,
I think I forgot how to pee.

- Oh, you know what?

That's because
of the anesthesia.

Same thing happened to me
after my hysterectomy.

Don't push or you'll rip
your stitches out like I did.

I got this one wiry chin hair

and I swear,
it grows back overnight.

[urine trickling]

Okay, honey, now I have to go.
Come on, hurry.

I gotta go, I gotta go,
I gotta go.

- Okay.
- Come on.

[sighs]
- Mom.

[urine trickling]

- Hey, can I steal
some of this?

- Yeah, of course.

- I have to go meet
this 17-year-old YouTube star

from Toronto named DJ Fuckboy.

- [chuckling]
No.

- The future of music
is bleak, dude.

- Are you gonna come back
after that?

- No, I can't.

I have to go to this show
in Hell's Kitchen.

- Wait, so you're gonna
leave me alone with Claudia?

- I mean, she's keeping it
pretty even keel.

- But I turn into, like,
the most obnoxious

14-year-old version of myself
when we're alone.

Please stay and be a buffer.

She loves, you, so it's like
win for everybody.

- You know, you should just
be grateful that she, like,

wants to be here for you.

I mean, I don't even know
where my mom lives.

She's afraid to call me

'cause she thinks the IRS
is gonna use the cell signal

to track her down.

- I'm sorry,
I'll stop bitching.

- No, it's okay.

I didn't meant to shame you.

I'm in a really weird mood.

I don't--

[softly] I think I really
fucked things up with Jim.

- No, come on.

You guys can work it out.
You should reach out.

- I just really miss him a lot.

- Yeah, I know.

- Ugh, okay,
I gotta roll.

But I am gonna bum
some vitamins for the road.

- Go for it.

- I love you, Darby.

- I love you too.

You know,
you can call me anytime.

- Yeah, thanks.
I'll see you.

Bye, queen.

- Take care, Sara.
What do I do, this?

- Yeah. [mimics explosion]
- Is that right?

- Yes!
- Yes, queen.

Bye.
[door shuts]

- That Sara's a good friend.
- Mm.

- I wish I had a Sara.

How are you feeling?

Are you hungry?
- Not really.

- How about
a peanut butter and jelly?

Honey, don't store your peanut
butter over the stove,

because the heat rises

and you can melt the plastic
in the jar, okay?

And that--that leaches toxins
straight into your brain.

Do you ever hear anything
about Magnus?

- Well...

I heard that he was, like,
living with this woman

three months after we split.

- [sighs]
- Right?

- Wow.

That must've hurt
to have him move on so fast.

After he all but
held you hostage

and took your best years.

At least with your dad,
I got you.

- Mom, it was two years.
It's not a big deal.

- Two important ones.

Well, I just--I think you need
to just get back out there

and meet somebody new
and have some fun.

- I'm having fun.

I'm actually seeing this guy,
Ezra.

- Okay, come on
and sit in here now

and take a look at this
little feng shui project

I've been working on.

Let me help you.
- Oh, it's okay, Mom.

It's okay, it's okay.
- Honey, I came all this way.

Let me help you.
If--

- Great.

- You can lean on me.

- Looks great in here.
- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.
- Do you like it?

What do you think of that
little table over there?

- It's cool. It's really cool.
- Right?

[chuckles]
- [groans]

Look at us.
Just a couple of divorcees.

[chuckles]

It's kind of fun.

It reminds me

of the time we went to Big Bear
with your Girl Scout troop.

Remember what a good time
we had, hmm?

- When I got poison ivy?

- Oh, you did not
get poison ivy, Darby.

You got heat rash.

- No, you said I had heat rash

because you didn't want to miss
the horseback riding.

- Because that was the only
activity you wanted to do.

You were scared
of the ropes course,

you didn't want to go in the
lake, not that I blame you,

that water did look very funky.

- Well, thanks for reminding me
of all that,

'cause I had managed to block
it out of my memory completely.

- You did?
I thought you loved it.

I loved it.

I felt so...

bonded to you.

You were glued to my hip.

- Mom.

That's nice.

I didn't know that.

- Did I tell you
that Grandma Janet

got propositioned by a trainer
at Equinox?

- Well, I mean,
good for Grandma, right?

- Well, that's what I said.

If my mother can still attract
male attention,

then what the hell's my excuse?

So look what I did.

- Oh, my God, Mom,
are you on Tinder?

Tinder's, like,
kinda hardcore.

- Well, you don't have to
have sex with every person

you meet on Tinder, Darby.

You can just go
and get a cup of coffee.

- I know that. I'm not--

I know how a dating app works.

I'm not doing that.

Sorry, I'm gonna take a nap,
I think.

I'm just tired.

And thank you for the thing
with the furniture, Mom.

- Okay, what don't you lay down
on the couch

and we can catch up
on "The Voice?"

- Oh, no, I don't think
I can even keep my eyes open.

- Okay, all right, well--
well, I'll read, okay?

And you just--
you just snuggle up.

Come on,
we'll keep each other warm.

I won't make a peep.
Come on.

- Okay.

- There we go.
And the blanket.

[whispering] Have you ever
heard of Brené Brown?

I'm reading her books and
they've really helped me

make sense of my divorce.

I'm gonna leave them here
for you.

- Okay.

- She's a shame and
vulnerability researcher.

How cool is that?

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, it's Jim.
Please leave me a message.

- The mailbox is full

and cannot accept any messages
at this time.

Good-bye.
- God damn it.

[phone clatters]
Oh, no!

Motherfuck!

Shit.

[vacuum whirring loudly]

[vacuum shuts off]

- Good morning, sunshine.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
Did I wake you up?

- It's okay, um,
I needed to get up anyway.

I have a lot of work to do.

- Oh, well,
I told my office, I said,

"Don't even think about
calling me while I'm here."

I haven't taken vacation
in five years.

Honey, is your heat on?
- Yeah, I was freezing.

- Well, you need more meat
on your bones.

Okay.
- [groans softly]

- All right, let's wrap you up
in this blanket here.

- Oh, no, Mom,
I don't keep this blanket out.

- This is a beautiful blanket.

- Mom, this was Magnus's.
I'm getting rid of this.

- Roger that.
Ooh.

Oh, goodness.

Well, now,
if you're sure that this

is something that
you're not gonna want,

I bet Hunter would love
to have it.

Have you spoken
to Hunter recently?

- He doesn't answer my texts.

- Oh, my God.
I'm so relieved

it's not just me.
- [chuckles]

- I have been so worried
about him

since he dropped out of NYU.

Right now,

he's sleeping in a hammock

in some co-op in Bushmills
or some place.

- Bushwick, Mom.

- Whatever.

He's just, you know,

wasting the most
important years of his life

with a bunch of climate change
activist stoner bozos.

- Mom, you can relax, you know?
You're not on the clock.

- Oh, honey, you know
that I can't sit still.

Now, um, these pictures here,
are these keep or toss?

- Oh, careful with those,
Mom, please?

Those are prints for work.

Lola's coming by
to take them to the framer.

- You're gonna frame these?

- What's wrong with them?

- There's just a lot
of gratuitous nudity,

wouldn't you say?

- Well, those are the selects

for the show that I'm curating
at Lola's gallery.

- Oh, what show?
- I told you about it.

I've been working on it
for, like, two months.

All the pieces are by female-
identifying photographers.

- Yeah, I just--I thought
things were going so well

at that
million-dollar teacup place.

- They were.

I wanted more autonomy and this
is my first show.

This is kind of a big deal
for me.

- Oh, well, if you're happy,
honey, then I am happy for you.

- Okay.

You can be proud of me, too,
'cause it's good.

- No, I am proud.

Now, when you say, um,

female-identifying,

does that include lesbians
and transsexuals?

- Transgender women, yes.

And lesbians are also women,
so--

- Okay, what am I thinking of?

- I don't know.
- Yes, you do.

You know, like your dad's
sister, Sherry.

- Butch?
- Yes, butch.

- Okay,
I'm gonna take a shower.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Uh, Lola,

I think you were duped
by the Chelsea Market.

There's more hay in here
than food.

- [chuckles]

- Cheers.
- Oh.

- Darby here
is on Schedule II narcotics,

so she won't be imbibing today.

- That is some deep
pharma knowledge

you got there, Claudia.

- Oh, any good mother
who's raised teenagers

knows her xannies
from her oxys.

- [chuckles]
You know, Ruby's only four

and I'm already dreading
her teen years.

- Darby here was pretty good,

but, yeah, everything was
the end of the world for her.

- Well,
she turned out fabulously.

I mean,
she's got a great eye for art.

- She does, doesn't she?
- Mm-hmm.

- Darby was always
my creative child.

- Lola, do we still feel good
about Azadeh's stuff?

- Yeah.

- I think
they're very interesting.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.

Earlier you said
it was gratuitous.

- No, I--[scoffs]

I was just kidding.
Darby, you are so sensitive.

Do you know that I used to do
some nude modeling in college?

- Mom, I'm not sensitive.
I just--I'm stressed.

We have a show in a week
and I just--

just everything can't be
about you right now.

I just need to focus.

[sighs]

- I'll let you girls
do your thing.

I'm gonna swing by the grocery.

- There's a bodega
on the corner.

- Those places aren't sanitary.

I'm gonna go to Whole Foods.

They have one on "Hyooston."

- Houston's kind of far, Mom.
- Well, I need the exercise.

- Do you need directions
or something?

- No, I take the Orange Line.

You're not the only one

who knows how to navigate
a big city, Darby,

Lola, it was just wonderful
to meet you.

- It was great meeting you too,
Claudia.

- Will you at least
take my MetroCard?

[door slams]

Sorry, she just makes me
fucking crazy.

♪ ♪

narrator: Darby was not
a planned pregnancy.

Neither was Claudia.

Claudia's mother had
gotten pregnant at 16,

and despite the fact that
her boyfriend had urged her

to "just take care of it,"

their daughter Claudia
was born shortly thereafter.

♪ ♪

The home was mostly filled
with resentment

and by the time Claudia
was 10 years old,

her mother had moved
into a private room

at the back of the house.

Little Claudia was mostly left
to fend for herself.

But she carried the longing
for love heavy in her body

and into her own
particular brand of mothering.

♪ ♪

- [breathing heavily]

♪ ♪

Um...

I need help.
- Okay, okay,

what do you need help with?
- [breathing heavily]

- Deep breaths. Just stay calm.

- Hey.
- Where do you want to go?

- Wasn't that supposed
to be you up there?

- It was supposed to be me.
- What happened?

- Well, he said
that he had access.

He had special access and
could guarantee, just, like,

I'm gonna be able
to get you something.

[indistinct chatter]

- Nicolette.
Happy goddamn birthday.

Congrats on the big 3-0!

- Sara, wow.
- Hi.

- Oh, wow. Hi.
It's...been a while.

- Yeah.
Oh, I brought you a gift.

It's not wrapped, but you were
just gonna unwrap it anyway,

so I saved a tree.

- Cool.

Um...

Can I get you a drink
or something?

- Yeah, a beer would be great.
Or tequila.

- Sure, yeah.

- Um, is there a place
I can put my jacket?

- Uh, sure, yeah.

Just, uh,
on the bed in there is great.

- Okay, cool.

- I'm so sorry,
I didn't invite her.

I have no idea
what she's doing.

Sara.
- Oh, my God, James. Hi!

- What the hell
are you doing here?

- I'm celebrating
Nicolette's birthday.

- Are you kidding?
No, you're crashing it.

- What?

No, she invited me.

- Please don't.
Just don't--don't do that.

- Oh, my God.
Fine.

You forgot to change
your Paperless Post password.

It's still SyracuseHoops420.

- Okay, so you're literally
stalking me right now?

I mean, d-do you have any idea
how insane that is?

- Baby, I'm sorry.

I was just trying
to get in touch with you.

You haven't picked up
any of my calls

or returned any of my texts.

- Yeah, because we broke up.

- I know, but

I've been thinking about it and

I don't know, I think
that New Jersey could be cool.

Like, maybe
we should have kids.

- Jesus Christ.

- What?

- Why are you doing this?

- I'm being serious.

- No, Sara, you don't want
to move to New Jersey.

Even if you did want
to move there,

you know, we're so far
past that at this point.

- See, I don't think we are.

- You're not getting it.
I'm sorry, you're just not.

- Look, come on, baby.
I miss you a lot.

And I think
we could fix things.

- I don't want to fix things.

Look, I've had a lot of time
to think about this, okay,

and it breaks my heart,

but we are just
on different paths right now.

Like, I'm looking to
embrace responsibility, okay?

And you want to, like,
set it on fire, right?

Like, it doesn't mean anything
to you.

- Okay, well, you don't have
to be a dick, Jim.

We can still
be fucking friends.

- No, we can't.

Not right now.

Maybe later, I don't--

I don't know.

- Okay, whatever.
I should go.

- No, Sara, I'm sorry.

- And Jim, I did have
an abortion in college,

so fuck you.

[soul music playing]

♪ ♪

- What happened?
What took you so long?

- I went to Brooklyn.

- You what?

- Where did those flowers
come from?

- Oh, Dad sent them.
Wasn't that sweet?

- What a hero.

- Well, Mom, how did you end up
in Brooklyn?

- The train went the wrong way.

- Okay...

- I had a panic attack

and I did not travel
with my CBD

because I didn't know
what the laws were here.

- Well, why didn't you
just call me?

- Why are you mad at me?

I get to be mad at you.

If you hadn't been
so ugly to me,

we could've gone together.

- I'm recovering from surgery.

It's not my fault
that you got lost.

You got lost
because you don't listen.

You don't listen
to anyone ever.

- Darby,
I dropped everything in my life

so that I could be here
for you

because I know what it's like
to be alone and with nobody

when you're going through
a terrible time.

- If you want to
be here for me,

you have to be here for me.

You can't come and make my life
harder than it already is.

- How am I making
your life harder?

- Okay, let's just take
some space, okay?

Okay?

- No, no, no, I get it.
I'm a terrible mother.

- [scoffs]

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

narrator: Darby would never
pick up the books

her mother left behind,

but if she had, she might have
read a passage that said

that narcissism,
when examined with compassion,

is a trait that comes from
not feeling special enough

to deserve love, belonging,
or a sense of purpose.

♪ ♪

- [sniffling]

[gasps]
Oh, shit.

[sighs and sniffles]

♪ ♪

[phone ringing]

♪ ♪

- Hunter?

Hi, sweetie.
How are you?

[zipper zips, clothes rustle]

- Mm.

- Would you mind giving me
directions to Midtown?

- Mom.
- I need to get to the Hilton.

- Don't go to a hotel.
- It's already done.

I booked it
with my credit card points

and I can't get them back.

- Mom, I am very sorry
about yesterday.

I'm going through a lot.

You know, being with Magnus
and divorcing Magnus--

- Well, you're living
in a mausoleum.

And that doesn't help.

- It's rent-stabilized,
which is--[sighs]

I'm really grateful that you
came out here to help me

and really,
I just want to enjoy

the rest of the time
that we have

'cause I know that we don't
get to do this very often.

So maybe today, you know,

anything you want to do
in the whole city,

let's just do it.

- Oh, I know what we could do.

Hunter said he has a window
between 11:00 and 2:00

and I really wanted
to get him a mattress.

- You got it, Mom.

- Okay, honey, let's try
the breathable topper.

You know you sleep so sweaty.

- I could care less, Mom.

You can just pick
something out for me.

- Okay, well,
is it comfortable?

That's what I'm asking.
- [sighs]

[farts]
- Oh, Hunter! Come on.

- You asked
if it was comfortable.

- [coughs]
A fart is not an answer.

You're making this
very difficult.

Come on, let's go try
the extra firm, okay?

So you don't get sciatica
like your dad,

although that's really due
to poor posture

and flabby muscle tone.

- You should buy property
in Bushwick.

You'd hate it now, but it's
gonna pop like Williamsburg.

- I have no interest in living

in a possibly-developing
neighborhood.

- I'll be the landlord.
- [laughs]

- You can use my college money
for the down payment.

- I am not buying
my 20-year-old son

a party pad in Brooklyn.
No, sir.

I don't even know if you can
put sheets on this mattress.

- Major opportunity, Mom.
That's all I'm gonna say.

- Okay, all right.

Well, if you see a link,
then send it to me.

- Dude, you okay?
- [sniffling]

- Darby, what's the matter?

- Um, nothing.

- Is it the meds?
- I don't know. [sniffles]

Um...

I just, um...

Nobody ever bought me
a mattress.

- [scoffs]
What in the world?

When did you need a mattress?

- [sniffling]
Like, when I first moved here.

I had to buy this, like,
$80 IKEA mattress on layaway.

And, like, haul it up
from Red Hook on a ferry.

- You can have my mattress,
Darbs.

- Thank you, that's not--
it's not about the mattress.

I just, I don't know.
Um--[sniffles]

Why can't you just connect
with me?

- What? I don't understand.
I'm here.

I took a week off
to be here for you, Darby,

at a very inopportune time
for me, professionally.

- Okay.

So, like, you're here,
but it's like,

it's like you're
not really here, you know?

I feel like your audience.
I feel like I could be anybody.

- That's not true.
- Okay.

It's how I feel, though.
[sniffles]

Can I just have
my fucking feelings?

- Well, what about my feelings?

Okay, I feel like
you don't ever want me around.

- That's not true.

- Well, you see,
it cuts both ways, missy.

- Okay, okay.

So maybe I have a wall up.

It's 'cause I feel like

I need to protect myself
from you.

- What does that even mean?

- I don't know, I just--

I feel like you're
either criticizing me

or overwhelming me.

- Well, because I don't know
what to do.

I can't get in there
to even try to love you.

- You shouldn't have to try.
You're my mom.

- It's not as easy
as you think.

You're gonna find out one day.
- Okay.

I'm not attacking you.

I'm not trying to make you feel
like a bad person.

- You know what?

It's like the Big Bear trip,
right?

I thought we had
this special moment.

And you didn't receive
any of that.

- Honestly...

It's 'cause I'm just waiting
for you to, like,

flip it on me somehow,

or take it away.

- Oh, God.

Oh, Shana said that
that's a pattern of mine.

Because I don't trust anyone
to just stay with me.

She thinks I'm so afraid

of rejection...

that I reject
the other person first.

- Mom, that makes me so sad.

- I'm sad too.

And I'm so lonely.

My children have grown
and left me,

my second husband
just divorced me

because he said
that I was mean.

I swear, Darby,
it's like you cross 50

and nobody even wants you.

- I want you.

I've always wanted you.

- I tried to be a good mother
to you,

but I didn't have that kind
of connection with my mother.

So maybe I just didn't know
how to do it.

- Oh, Mom.

- Do you think I'm mean,
Darby?

- No.

No, I don't think you're mean.
[sniffles]

I think you're fucking crazy.
[chuckling]

[both sniffling]

- Well, I'm glad
we're doing this now.

- Me too.

- I'm so proud of you, Darby.

And I'm so sorry
that you didn't know that.

You just amaze me.

You've grown into this brave,

resilient,
independent woman.

You make me look like
I did a good job.

- Wow.
[laughs]

I think the therapy's, like,
working out, Mom.

- God, I hope so, because
Shana charges $190 a session.

She won't take insurance.
- [chuckles]

[soft upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, I think I found one.

It's bamboo,
hypoallergenic,

Oeko-Tex certified.

[sighs]
- Comfy?

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

Let's try.

- It is comfortable.

Shit, I want one.

- It's pretty cush, right?

- Nice try, buddy.
It's $3,000.

[notification chimes]
[gasps]

♪ ♪

Guess who just got a match?

- Really?
Let me see.

- Mom, what are you doing
on Tinder?

- Oh, like I don't know

what you're gonna be doing
on this bed, please.

- I'm gonna keep looking.

- Let me see.

[gasps]
He's cute.

He's like a less creepy
Jack Nicholson.

- Mm.
- You should write him back.

- Oh, no.
I don't know, Darby.

Look at his profile.
It says he's a Deadhead.

- Mom, you cannot be that picky

if you want
to find somebody nice.

- Well, I don't know
what to say.

- Can I help?

♪ ♪

Okay.

- Should I say, um, my first
husband was a Deadhead?

narrator:
Love is alchemy,

nebulous,
a life force unto itself.

The way a daughter experiences
the love of her mother

will forever color the lens

through which she gives
and receives love

of all kinds.

narrator:
That day was the beginning

of Darby seeing Claudia
for what she had to give

rather than what she didn't,

therein unlocking an essential
corner of her own heart.

♪ ♪