Original subtitles

[soft music]

female narrator: Our love

lives can quite easily

be reduced to data.

For instance,

by the time the average person

- ends up with the love - of their life,

They will have been

in seven relationships.

Of those, two are often

long-term relationships,

while the rest are a mix

of short-term flings,

casual dating,

and one-night stands.

The average person

will also fall in love

two of those times

and have their heart broken

twice as well.

Yet behind

all of those numbers,

there is always

a much bigger story.

This is the story

of Darby Carter.

♪ ♪

Darby doesn't remember

- her parents - ever being married.

They got divorced

when she was four,

and she spent her childhood

being shuttled back and forth

between their new houses

and new families.

- Coward.

Won't even come to the door.

- It's fine, Mom.

Narrator: This made Darby feel

like a permanent hotel guest,

one who couldn't stay

past 12:00 checkout.

- Hi, Larry.

[upbeat music]

narrator: As a result,

Darby's adolescence

was marked by myriad misguided

attempts at connection.

- You didn't have to - walk me home.

- Oh. - But my house is just up there.

- I didn't know - you lived up here.

Bye.

- Bye.

♪ ♪

narrator: Darby had no idea

where she was,

and she was so nervous

that this young man

- would find out - she'd been lying

That she took an anxiety poo

in his family's yard.

When Darby moved to New York

for university,

she imagined she'd become

a cosmopolitan woman.

♪ ♪

- Okay, yeah. Hi.

Narrator:

In reality, it was fun,

but slightly empty.

♪ ♪

- Get the curtain.

[squeals]

♪ ♪

narrator: Darby started

to wonder if she'd ever reach

the next level,

where you're really

dating someone,

- where you don't - change your outfit

Just because

you're seeing the person,

where you just wear

what you're wearing

because you are who you are.

And then she met Augie Jeong.

♪ ♪

- All right, baby girl.

- This is the hottest - you have ever looked

In your entire life.

- I'm serious. - These are your clothes.

- What is it like - to be an actual goddess?

- Oh, my God. - I'm PMS-ing.

It's been dark since 4:00 p.m.

I'm in no mood, man.

- Yeah, and I have a UTI,

but it's Jim's birthday,

so we gotta rally.

- All I'm doing - for his birthday

- Is, like, karaoke - and a blow job,

- So they both - have to be really good.

- I would never miss - Jim's birthday.

- I would, however, - make a polite appearance

And then skip out early.

- You are killing me.

- Once you leave, it's just - gonna be his work friends

- Talking about - Occupy Wall Street.

- Hey, you ladies - are looking good.

- We know, bro. - Eat shit, motherfucker.

- ♪ And I was thinkin'

'bout myself ♪

♪ Then there she was ♪

♪ In platform double suede ♪

♪ Yeah, there she was ♪

- Yeah!

- I think Jim wants to fuck

that Zooey Deschanel wannabe.

- Shut up. - He's so in love with you.

- No, I know he is,

- but I still think - he wants to fuck her.

- ♪ Ay, ay ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Who's that lounging... ♪

- People can love people

and still fuck other people.

- You done with the book?

- What?

- Did you pick a song yet?

- Okay, fuck this.

- Um, uh...

Sorry.

- Hey, bitch. - Excuse me.

All right, titty boy.

- Yeah, I don't know.

- No, no. - We can look together.

- ♪ Mama, this surely - is a dream ♪

- Um...

- I'm... I'm Augie, by the way.

- Uh, Darby.

- Furby?

- Darby. - Darby.

- Yeah, I know.

I've gotten Furby before,

at Starbucks a lot.

- Right? - Yeah.

- The names that - I've gotten on my cups...

- [laughs]

- ♪ I smell sex and candy ♪

- Wow, Jim's girlfriend's

on one, huh?

- Sara? - Yeah.

- Yeah, um...

- yeah, she can't handle - her liquor,

But uh, she drinks

every night anyway.

- Cool.

So she's an alcoholic.

- No! No. - [laughs]

- I mean, she's... you know,

if we were older...

- Right. - Maybe, but like,

- Right now, - she's just, like, so fun.

- [laughs]

- ♪ Mama this surely

is a dream ♪

- Um, I actually have

a song up next,

if you wanted to duet,

perhaps?

♪ ♪

- You already picked one? - Yeah.

I just wanted to talk to you.

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

both:

♪ You cut me open and I ♪

- ♪ Keep bleeding ♪ - Oh, this part I know.

Both:

♪ Keep, keep bleeding love ♪

- Happy birthday, Jim! - ♪ I keep bleeding ♪

- Both: - ♪ I keep, keep bleeding love ♪

- I mean, I know - a little bit.

- [laughing] - ♪ Keep bleeding ♪

Both:

♪ Keep, keep bleeding ♪

- New York classic. - Oh, boy.

- What's your regimen?

- People just say things - like "New York classic."

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

Well, this is me.

- [laughs]

- I'm glad - I got you home safe.

These mean streets.

♪ ♪

- Um, uh...

I'm trying to think

of something else to say.

- Well, I should, um...

♪ ♪

I should, uh...

♪ ♪

- My other roommate, Mallory,

like, literally lives

in this alcove thing.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Um, yeah, so...

I promise this isn't,

like, a move,

but is it cool

if we hang out in my room?

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Um, I mean, - they've been divorced

For 20 years or something.

So what about you?

- Uh, my parents - were the complete opposite.

High school sweethearts

that are somehow still in love.

- That's nice.

- But they're Satanists,

- so I guess - it's not all good, right?

[both laughing]

Balances out, you know?

- Yeah, that's fair.

Are you losing on purpose?

This is so pathetic.

- Well, I mean, - to be honest with you,

- I'm pretty sure - you made this game up.

- Oh, I did not. - How dare you?

- I don't know - what I'm doing here.

- This is a very popular game.

- Who's played - this game before?

- I've explained this - to lots of people,

- And nobody has ever critiqued - me as a teacher.

- No, no, no, I... - [laughs]

- They've... they say - it's so fun.

So I don't know.

You're the first...

♪ ♪

- I do want to hear - about this game.

- I'm gonna tell you.

- A little bit later.

Yeah.

- Just... - Oh, yes.

- Yeah, it's... - I can...

- Yeah. - [giggles]

♪ ♪

- Ow. - What?

- You're bony. - [laughs]

- What? - Just... I mean,

- You... I just mean - you have, like,

A surprisingly slender,

fit, um, body.

- Mm-hmm. - Thank you.

[both laugh]

- Oh, no, don't, - don't, don't, don't.

- I'm sweaty, - I'm sweaty, I'm sweaty.

- It's okay. - I like it.

- [panting]

♪ ♪

[breathing heavily]

♪ ♪

[breathes deeply]

- Like, embarrassed. - Babe, you were good.

It was good.

- Hey. - Oh, hey.

Good morning, bud.

- Good morning. - Hey.

- Do you have coffee here?

- Uh, I could make - another pot.

- Oh, no, that's okay.

- I'll go out and grab some. - Just gonna...

- Oh, yeah, go for it. - It's communal.

- [mouthing words]

- Hey, morning. - Hi.

[both laugh]

Um...

I had a lot of fun last night.

'Cause you had a good time.

- I... it was fine for me. - Whatever.

Um, anyway,

I have to, uh...

[siren chirps in distance]

- I have to go play basketball - with some buddies.

- Yeah, I have to, - um, knit scarves

With the other Army wives.

- Cool. Cool, cool, cool. - Yeah.

- Nice.

- Do you want my number, or...

- I'm just gonna leave it

all up to chance, you know?

I think I got a $5 bill.

You seen "Serendipity"?

- That's a... uh, - that's a solid reference, man.

- [laughs]

- Okay.

Bye.

- [squeals] - Oh.

Okay, seriously.

- Okay, okay.

- Like, that's enough. - I'll leave, I'll leave.

- Okay.

- All right, - I'm leaving.

- See you, Jimbo. - See you at work, buddy.

- See you, Sara. - Bye.

Um, I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry. - What just happened?

What just happened?

- What just happened? - Excuse me.

- Do I have a husband now? - Is he my husband?

- I don't... I mean, - I just... is that...

- Is that what... - Is that how that works?

- Yeah, well, - I'm glad to see

You're taking it slow.

- I'm just excited.

Be happy for me.

- Jim. - Come on, Jim.

- Please. - So serious, Jim.

- Please be happy for me.

- Mm, I can't think straight.

- Help me, help me, - help me, please.

- All I can do - is smell these bath salts

- That I got... - Morning.

- Oh, hey. - Ugh, Darby.

Thank God.

- I need a woman - to look at these.

Which font do you like

for the escort cards?

This one or this one?

- Um...

The left one.

- Yes. See? - Mm-hmm.

- Told you, babe. - Whatever one you want.

- Oh, God, honey, - have an opinion.

It is your wedding too.

- Mm... - Okay.

Speaking of which, Darby,

- do you plan on bringing someone - to the wedding?

- Not to pressure you - or anything.

- Um... yeah.

- Whoa. - Hmm.

- New boyfriend? - I don't know.

- Maybe. - [laughs]

- Explains why you look - like shit this morning.

- Okay. All right. - [laughing] Oh.

- Let's... let's leave her alone.

- See you at home. - Bye.

- Bye, Kate. - Bye.

- Darby, your first tour today

- is some assholes - from Gawker.

- Oh, fuck you.

- Gawker? - What do I like about this job?

- Maybe 'cause you get to say

"fuck you" to your boss?

- Very true. - All right.

Narrator: That whole day,

Darby was buoyant.

Who knew when

she'd see Augie again,

but for now,

she was walking on air,

alive with the glow

of a new connection.

The next day,

that glow began to wear off,

and she hadn't heard from him,

- so Darby went to great lengths - to keep herself busy,

Deciding it was time

- to color-code - her book collection.

- [sighs]

Hey.

[mellow music]

Do you think I should do, like,

an accent wall in here?

♪ ♪

- What kind of accent?

- Just... I mean, just like...

- Australian? - Oh, my God.

That's not helpful.

- You know - what I'm going through.

- [Australian accent] - Darby, I'm an accent wall.

- I hate you.

- Narrator: - The third day was harder.

Darby sunk into an awful

apprehension.

Why hadn't Augie texted?

Was she boring?

Was her body weird?

Darby's brain started

doing mental gymnastics,

coming up with ways she

could casually run into him.

- Honestly, like, - at this point,

I'm kind of pissed.

You know, I'm tempted to, like,

- just go to Politico - and confront him.

- Okay, Darby, - look, I love you,

- But do remember that's my place - of work, okay?

So keep that in mind.

- No, please, do it. - Thank you.

- She thinks it's funny. - Honestly.

- I would never.

- I would never! - Mostly. Maybe.

- Are those dates? - Mm-hmm.

- Okay, so date farmers

are on strike in Mexico,

- so technically, - you guys are like scabs.

- You know what, Jim? - We don't need that from you.

- Jim, we don't - need that from you.

- Narrator: On the fourth day - of radio silence,

- Darby buried herself - in her work.

- Very, very special tour: - the butt tour!

- [women cheering] - Yeah.

- I'm tired.

How long is this tour?

- It is two full hours. - Get ready.

- Fuckin' heels.

- Okay.

We're gonna start over here.

This super cute

muscular bronze butt.

This Greek bronze butt

is very rare

because when Romans

took over Greek dominions,

- they knew how valuable - the bronze was

- The sculptures were made of, - so they often

Melted them down

to make armor and weapons,

and we're very fortunate

- that this sculpture's - been preserved

So we can all enjoy its very...

emotional, expressive

clenched butt.

- [laughing]

It looks like Spencer's dick.

[laughter]

- Okay, guys, please.

Don't touch the statues.

- This is... this is really - against the rules.

[dramatic classical music]

- narrator: - As Darby watched this woman

- Climb a statue that - had managed

To survive centuries,

she couldn't help but marvel

that someone

chose this person.

♪ ♪

And not just for a day,

but for the rest

of her life.

♪ ♪

- Darby couldn't even get - a "Wazzup?"

♪ ♪

Around her, life continued

- as if somehow - there was anything

More important than

what she was going through.

By this point, she'd managed

- to pull her flat mates - into it

As she carried on

in the grand tradition

of women waiting by the phone.

[phone chimes]

- It's your dad. - Good.

- Uh, he wants to know

"who sings the song...

'Wonderwall'..."

- Ugh.

- I'm sorry

it wasn't Augie.

- It's okay.

You know, it was my dad.

- At least it wasn't my gym - asking where I've been.

- [chuckles]

- Oh, my God. - Why am I spinning out?

All this sucks.

- Why don't you just

take the reins and text him?

- Can I do that?

- No, you can't.

Look, I know it's fucked up,

- but you have to wait for him - to hit you up.

- Are you s...

- I don't want to get into - a political debate about it.

It's just the world right now.

- Says the girl who made Jim

read his high school diary

out loud to you

like there are zero boundaries.

- Look... - Boundaries don't exist.

- Yeah, 'cause I paid my dues.

Look, you can play

the crazy card down the road,

but right now, you gotta,

like, bear down.

- No, no, no. - No, no.

That shit's so antiquated.

- Listen, why do you need - a boyfriend right now?

- Honestly, look - what it's doing to you.

- This isn't Jane Austen times. - I'm sorry.

- I think I'm just stressed - because, like,

- I told my boss - that I was bringing a plus-one

- To his wedding, - and now I think

It would be super embarrassing

- to just, like, - not bring anyone.

- I know what you're thinking, - you little 0 to 60 freak.

- Even as a favor.

- I could just be like, "Hey, - as a friend, as a buddy..."

- You cannot invite Augie

to that wedding, right?

- Oh, my God.

- I'm obsessed with him, - and it's so pathetic.

[phone chimes]

I'll just...

[squeals]

- No way!

[both squeal]

- [laughs] - Fine.

- I'm gonna be totally chill. - Totally.

- I'm gonna be totally chill. - Mm-hmm.

[chill music]

- Haven't actually read

any Jane Austen.

- What? - I know, which was surp...

- Deal-breaker. - I can't do this.

- Oh, you too? - I'm kidding.

- Okay. - Kidding.

- 'Cause Mallory... - Uh-huh.

- Was making fun of me, - 'cause I don't...

- Actually, - there is one of these books

That I've been looking for.

- Why wouldn't we get

ten romance novels?

- Okay, so if I had

to tell you something...

- Yeah. - Unexpected about me,

- Yeah.

I'll give you $1,000.

- Wh... that you wouldn't

have guessed this was...

- No, I'll give you $1,000 - to tell me something

- That really shocks me. - Oh.

- I was just gonna - tell you for free.

[laughs]

- I was just gonna - tell you for free.

- I was actually - so into musical theater

- That my mom thought - that I was gay.

- Oh. - She asked me

If I had seen

the movie "Milk,"

because she had rented it.

- Oh! - And she thought

It was really important

that we watch it together.

- [laughing] - That's so sweet.

- Yeah. - That's nice.

- Yeah. - You know, um,

I, too, have done

some musical theater.

- Get the fuck out.

- Yeah, in high school.

- One time... - Mm-hmm.

In "Cats"... I know.

- You were in "Cats"?

- Yeah. [laughs]

- What?

- Like, there were - so many kids,

And there weren't

enough parts...

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So they, like,

- Did that thing - where they made up a cat.

- Just... but just for you, - though.

- Yeah. - It was something insane.

It was like Carbucketty

or something.

- Carbucketty? - Oh, my God.

It was so embarrassing.

- [laughs]

I... is it weird that

I'm kind of turned on

by you being an ensemble cat?

- You're such a jerk.

[both laugh]

This is stupid.

- Do... - [groans]

- Do you want to go - to my boss's wedding with me?

[tender music]

♪ ♪

What?

You don't have to.

- No, yes, I do!

I do want to go!

I do want to go.

Yes, absolutely.

- Great.

- When is it?

- I don't know.

- Okay, great.

- Lin for the win!

Got it!

[people cheering]

- This dude is unbelievable.

- I'm losing my mind. - What a great day.

- Holy shit! - Yes!

Linsanity forever!

He's on fire!

- Oh, Darbs, - are you into sports now?

- Is that... - I don't know.

I'm trying to sound cool.

- You do sound cool.

- Thank you. - You're hustlin'.

- I don't know. - I'll take it.

- Yes.

- This kid came - out of fucking nowhere.

- I... tell me about it.

- Shit. - I know.

Narrator: It was January

when they met at karaoke,

and by February,

- they were acting - like boyfriend and girlfriend.

- Well, I'll let you in - on a little secret.

- Okay. - Please do.

- These are fakes. - What?

- Don't tell anybody. - Okay.

- [sniffing]

- narrator: They ignored - all the usual rules

- About keeping things - mysterious.

- [grunts]

- [blowing nose]

[urine trickling]

- You guys are nasty!

[upbeat percussive music]

♪ ♪

[camera shutter clicks]

- Nice. - That's gonna be the one.

- [laughs] - For sure.

- I love this table.

- I want ten more beers.

Does anybody else

want ten more beers?

Just me?

- Narrator: For too long, - she'd merely watched

These kinds of relationships

from the outside,

and anything she knew

about the way they felt

was purely speculative.

But now she had

some firsthand experience.

This is what it was really

like to love someone.

[tender music]

- Lin on the penetration,

he got bottled up...

- What happened to our friend?

- He's just having - an off night.

- Hey, Aug, we're gonna roll.

- All right, man. - I'll see you at home.

- Sorry, buddy. - They'll bounce back.

- Yeah, thanks for coming, man. - See you, Sara.

- See you, Sara. - Bye.

Bye, Mallory.

[indistinct TV chatter]

- I'm sorry, baby.

- It's okay. - Thank you.

[relaxed music]

♪ ♪

- Is this what it's like - being a Knicks fan?

- [chuckles]

Yeah, kind of.

♪ ♪

Hey, um...

♪ ♪

- What's up?

- Oh, uh...

- [scoffs] - Never mind.

It's cool. Nothing.

- Whoa. - It's cool. It's nothing.

- Hey, come on. - Don't do that.

- Oh, my God. - No.

I just, um...

♪ ♪

- I just don't want you - to freak out,

'cause this timing

really sucks, but, uh...

- Okay.

- [sneezes] - Sorry.

- Bless you. - Thank you.

- Uh...

I just found out that

Politico wants

to send me out on the road

- as an embed - in a couple of weeks,

And I'll be gone

till November, so...

- Oh, wow.

- Yeah. - Ugh.

- [chuckles] - Okay.

I mean, well, if you're

gonna be gone till November...

- Well, no, 'cause, you know,

if all goes well,

- then after that, I'd be working - out of the D.C. bureau,

Which would be like...

I'd be moving there.

♪ ♪

- Um... okay.

♪ ♪

Is that, like, optional or...

- [scoffs]

I mean, I guess it is, but I...

- It's a pretty big opportunity - for me, you know.

- Right. Yeah.

- Yeah.

- No, of course.

- Yeah.

What the fuck am I saying?

- I'm gonna be on Obama's - press bus and everything.

It's... it's my dream.

- Dude, that's amazing.

- Yeah.

- Yeah. - I mean, congratulations.

- Oh, thank you. - Holy shit.

- Thank you very much.

- [stammering] - And look.

If that makes you not want

to hang out with me anymore,

I totally get it,

because...

- this can't really - go anywhere, you know?

- Yeah. - I mean, it can't go anywhere,

But we were just, like, seeing

if it was gonna go anywhere,

- so it's not a big deal. - Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, right. - Right, yeah.

That's... yeah, exactly.

- I'm really glad we're - on the same page about that.

I mean, I know it...

It sounds corny,

but I feel like it's

my civic duty, in a way.

- Do you know what I mean? - Mm-hmm.

- Like, can you imagine if

Romney was fucking president?

The world would end.

[both laugh]

- Um...

- Yeah.

- But we should just, like, - keep hanging out

Until you leave, right?

- Are you sure? - I mean, do you not want to?

- No, no, no, no, no,

I... I definitely do.

I... of course I do.

I really like you, Darby.

- A lot. - Great.

- I just... - Great.

- Yeah, I just... - Yeah.

- I've been through the whole - long-distance thing before,

And I don't... I don't want

either of us to get hurt

or anything like that.

- I don't think

that's gonna happen.

Okay, so what... I mean,

should I just bail?

Is that what we're saying?

- On your boss's wedding?

- On Augie's last night? - No.

- Baby, you are playing - the long game.

- You just... you keep your eyes - on the prize.

- When you talk about love, - you turn into Coach Taylor.

- Really sweet. - Oh.

Coach and Mrs. Coach are

the model couple, in my eyes.

- Okay, look.

- I... I will be your plus-one - if you want to bail on Augie.

- I will be there. - I will do that.

- Mallory, no. - I am here for you.

- Darby, you just - go with the flow, okay?

Who knows what could happen?

It could be a magical night,

and then you could be the first

ever real-life person

- to chase someone - to the airport.

- What?

- That was, like, - a great buildup,

- And I don't know what - I'm supposed to do with that.

- I've been watching

a ton of Hugh Grant movies.

- Okay.

[upbeat music]

narrator: And so Darby

trudged on with a brave face,

trying to make the best of it,

but beneath that façade

was an unavoidable fact:

he was really leaving.

This was really ending.

♪ ♪

- You look really great - tonight.

♪ ♪

- Thank you.

- Um, so do you. - You look great.

- Oh, thank you.

I mean, it was between this

or my tuxedo tee.

- Mm.

- Or my "ripped abs" tee.

- Wow. - Or my Bulbasaur tee.

- You've seen that one? - [laughs]

- I've... I didn't know you - were such a novelty tee guy.

- Really big. - Yeah.

- I go to the club. - There's a club?

- There's a club. - See?

- Now, this is why - you can't leave.

- Oh... - 'Cause we have so much

To learn about each other.

- There's a club? - I want to know more!

- Yes, I said... yeah, I know.

I just...

- Let's not... let's not - think about it tonight.

♪ ♪

- Yeah.

- I kind of can't - not think about it.

- Yeah. - So...

- [clears throat]

- Um, should we dance?

- Oh. - Yeah.

- Okay.

- Make the most - of our last night together.

- Nice suit. - Thanks.

♪ ♪

- Yeah.

- I don't know if you're - ready for this, though.

- Oh, wow. - Oh, boy.

I don't know him.

- I have this - philosophy of dance.

- I need help, actually.

- Does anybody - have a whistle?

[soft music]

narrator: After a few hours

of alcohol consumption,

- Darby and Augie - found themselves

At that point of the evening

when it's easy to say

something you'll regret.

- Is it possible to, like,

overdose on frosting?

- 'Cause I don't know why - I'm doing this to myself.

- It's like I'm hazing myself. - [laughing]

- Nobody's making me do this.

- A "Post" headline:

"Tour Guide Dies from

Frosting/Open-Bar Combo."

[laughing]

- Wow.

- What?

- No, I'm glad to know you

think of me as a tour guide.

- What?

- I'm sorry my career isn't - as sexy as yours is right now.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Hey, hey.

- [stammers] - I was kidding.

- You know I'm kidding, right? - Yeah.

Mm, truth in every joke.

[laughs]

- What are you doing right now?

- [laughs]

I'm having feelings.

I'm sorry, like...

feelings that you

are very good at not having.

- I'm having feelings too.

I just don't want to process

them at your boss's wedding.

- Yes, that's fine.

That's fine.

You're right. That's fine.

- [scoffs]

♪ ♪

Darby, I love you.

♪ ♪

- You don't have to say that.

You don't.

- You're not... you're not gonna - say you love me back?

- I do, but what...

What's the point of... what's...

- Why does there - have to be a point?

- Okay. I love you.

- Really? - Yeah.

- You know I do. - Awesome!

- That's great! - Yeah, it is great.

It's great.

I love you.

Bye forever.

- Oh, come on. - Stop.

That is not fair.

- You said long-distance

doesn't work.

- So fuck it. - So fuck it.

- Please, please don't - put words into my mouth.

- Is that not exactly - what you said?

- Just because I'm leaving - does not mean

- That we'll never - see each other again.

- W-we can Skype, right? - Oh, great.

- We can try and make it work. - Oh.

- Oh, my God, we can Skype. - What are you doing?

- Seriously? Hello? - Oh, my God.

- Are you really doing this?

- This is our last - night together,

- And you're really - gonna do this?

- Write me letters - from camp or something.

- Seriously? - Come on. What is...

What do you say? Do you want...

- Okay. All right.

Yeah, we can Skype.

We can Skype until you find

somebody new,

'cause I know how things go

on these tour buses.

- What? - Do you think

I'm going on the road

with the fucking Stones?

- No.

- I... I work at Politico.

- This is... - I know. I know.

- I'm sorry. - I shouldn't have said anything.

- Whatever. - No, it's not...

- [exhales]

♪ ♪

- Fucking hell.

- ♪ You should be glad ♪

♪ Your leading man

always be glad ♪

♪ Sit by home ♪

♪ And let me kiss

your lovely lips ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Didn't I do it, baby? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Didn't I do right? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Why you wanna leave me,

baby? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I said

didn't I treat you right? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ It's a mystery... ♪

- [sniffling]

Can you help me?

Thanks.

Augie, I'm sorry.

- I know.

It's okay.

We both drank too much.

I really do love you.

- I really love you too.

- [sighs]

[siren blaring]

[melancholy music]

- Hey.

♪ ♪

Told you the snow gets gross.

- Yeah.

Guess you were right.

♪ ♪

Uh, by the way,

I have some information

that I think

will change your life.

- [laughs]

- Carbucketty is a real cat.

- What? - [laughs]

- What do you mean?

- Well, let's just say - I spent some time

On the old "Cats"

Wikipedia page this morning,

and Carbucketty,

- who is also sometimes known - as Pouncival,

- Is very much - a real character...

- What?

- And not at all made up - for your production.

- Oh, my God!

[both laugh]

- That's amazing!

- I don't know why - that makes me want to cry.

- [laughs] - [gasps]

Ooh!

Carbucketty's real!

- This is... - This is a game-changer.

[sniffs]

- I just wanted you to know.

- Thanks.

- Um...

I should go.

- Yeah.

Yeah, you should go.

- Bye, Darby.

- Bye, Augie.

Narrator:

After a relationship ends,

most people feel like they'll

never meet anyone else,

but they always do.

Darby doesn't know it yet,

but her person is out there.

Maybe she's met them already,

maybe she hasn't,

- but they are alive - in this city,

- And they are looking - for her too.

- ♪ Each step is moving ♪

♪ It's moving me up ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Moving ♪

♪ It's moving me up ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Every step is moving me up ♪

♪ ♪

- narrator: - It will all happen for her.

♪ ♪

Just not the way

she thinks it will.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ I'm moving me up ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Moving ♪

♪ Moving me up ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Every step is moving me up ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Each step is moving ♪

♪ It's moving me up ♪

♪ Moving me up ♪

♪ ♪

♪ One tiny, tiny, tiny move ♪

♪ It's all I need

and I jump over ♪

♪ Every step is moving me up ♪

♪ ♪