All language subtitles for Jimmy Kimmel 2020 09 30 Adam Sandler WEB h264 BAE_track3_eng

Kimmel live game night.
Tonight's guest, adam sandler,

in an nba all star edition of
mean tweets.

And now, jimmy kimmel.
>> thank you.

Thank you.
Hello and welcome.

We are in prime time on
basketball night in america.

I am your host, jimmy kimmel.
We are coming to you from l.A.,

home of the lakers.
And just like at the games, we

have a lot of fake cheering.
That's weird.

Tonight, game one of the nba
finals between the lakers and

the miami heat.
The players have been in the

bubble in orlando since July,
which will be funny when

somebody says you just won the
nba championship.

Where are you going?
And the mvp says I'm staying

right here at disney world.
The heat beat the lakers' arch

rival the boston celtics in the
conference finals and of course

it would have been great to see
the lakers play the celtics

again.
But it's even better knowing

matt damon spent the night
crying into his my little pony

pillow.
Many fans in miami are fired up.

This was the scene there on
Sunday night.

Where the bars are open and they
appear to have thrown caution to

the wind.
>> from the streets to the bars

of winwood, the sounds of pots
and pans are taking over the

streets of the magic city
tonight.

>> it was the first time since
2014, by the way, that the heat

are going to the final.
>> and the fans are going to the

hospital because none of them
are wearing masks.

You can't be a diehard fan if
you live, can you?

The last time the heat made it
to the finals, they had a player

named lebron james.
This is lebron's tenth

appearance in an nba final with
three different teams and he's

not done.
If he wins at the lakers, he

says next year he is going to
sign with the pittsburgh

penguins to win a stanley cup.
The nba finals have a long and

rich history and tonight, we
look back at one of those

moments from history with a
basketball historian named

snoop.
>> hey.

Hey.
What's going on?

It's your boy, snoop d-o-double
g.

Roll the tape.
Jump ball.

Mad hops.
Is that a black man out there?

That's a black man out there.
Hold it.

Hold it.
He got a white glove on.

A black man with a white glove
on.

Good d.
Good d.

Good d.
Push that.

Push that.
Push that.

Where's the black dude?
Where is the black dude?

Get the ball to the black dude.
To the black dude!

There you go.
Why did you pass the ball?

Oh this is when basketball was
based on ten passes before you

shot.
This is garbage basketball right

here.
You the only black dude on the

court.
You didn't take the shot?

There you go.
White guys, none.

>> jimmy: Thank you, snoop.
We have got a great show for you

tonight.
We have a new, all-star edition

of nba mean tweets and we'll be
right back with adam sandler.

[ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: Later tonight, we have

a new show with julie bowen and
music from my morning jacket.

Our guest tonight.
He combines them frequently.

You can see him with kevin
james, julie bowen, and

shaquille o'neal in his new
movie "huebie Halloween" on

netflix.
Please, welcome adam sandler.

Hello.
>> jimmy!

Hi, everybody.
Jimmy!

>> wow.
That's quite a beard you have

there.
>> it's disgusting.

I'm sorry.
It's not a beard.

It's a mask.
>> jimmy: No, they're different

things.
You can't just grow hair on your

face and protect yourself.
Have you been listening to dr.

Fauci, adam?
>> yeah.

No.
Look jimmy, when I keep my mouth

closed, it's a mask.
>> jimmy: You have like a

lumberjack look to you.
You look different with the

beard than I would have ever
guessed.

>> I don't look good.
I know that but I am doing it

for a movie.
But my father had a beard my

whole life and this is very
similar the way his beard was.

Like, gray at the bottom.
I don't have gray hair on my

head, for some reason.
But I got grays coming out the

bottom here.
>> yeah.

For some reason, it comes out
the bottom, first.

It is very amish.
It's very menanite, your beard.

>> nobody likes it, at all.
People on the street go, no!

No, adam.
Doing it for a movie.

They go, no!
>> jimmy: Whose basketball shoes

are those behind you?
>> these are -- I'm in

philadelphia right now.
I just got in this house doing a

movie.
And it's coincidental.

These are lebron james, the man
who owns this house apparently,

you know, met lebron and he
signed sneakers for him.

These are lebron james and I am
doing a movie in philly, like

lee
lebron's company is producing

it.
>> isn't that a funny thing?

We will take a man who is bigger
than we are, we'll take his

shoes and put them in a
plexiglass box, on display.

>> I know.
These are cool.

These are size -- you want to
know what size they are?

>> jimmy: Yeah, sure.
>> 106.

Jimmy, what is the craziest
thing you ever signed for

anybody?
I have a funny one.

>> well, you tell yours.
I will think about it.

>> okay.
I had a person, one time, I was

leaving a haircut.
And -- and a kid came out with a

bag of my haircut.
And -- and asked me to sign

that.
And I did that.

And then, on the internet that
night, it -- he was selling it

and saying adam sandler's pubic
hair.

It's a true story.
>> jimmy: How much?

How much was it?
>> I bought 'em back for 65.

How about you, jimmy?
How about you?

>> jimmy: I think the craziest
thing I ever signed is probably

guillermo's paycheck, probably.
>> that's incredible.

That's a great one.
>> jimmy: Sitting on the stool

just watching us right now.
>> hey, guillermo.

>> how you doing?
>> what do you think of the

beard, guillermo?
>> I like it.

I think it looks sexy.
>> so you said you are doing

something with lebron.
Is that --

>> a -- a scout movie.
Where I am playing an nba scout,

and I discover a player in
Spain.

And -- and I bring him to
america.

Real cool.
Lebron's company had it and

they -- they called me up and
asked if I wanted to be a part

of it.
>> did you meet with him?

Does he have an active role in
producing this movie?

>> you know, he's in the middle
of a -- a championship run right

now.
So we're going to get to sitting

down and talking after that.
But you know, it's a legit

movie.
It's a legit nba movie because

of lebron, right?
I came to philly and kyle's

coming by to do a quick, little
thing.

I don't think that's because of
me.

I think it's because he -- and
lebron.

That's what's happening.
>> jimmy: Don't sell yourself

short here, adam.
Really, you're one of the few

guys who really thinks about I
love basketball.

I like these players.
I am going to be in a movie with

these players.
Shaquille o'neal is in "hubie

Halloween" your new one.
>> yes.

By the way, two great guys that
I get to be friends with now.

And this new one has loads of
nba guys in it.

By -- but one of the coolest
things that ever happened to me,

back in the day, when I did
"little nikki," the harlem

globetrotters were in the movie
and that was like the best.

Did you see the globetrotters
when you were a kid?

>> oh, yes, many times.
Lemon.

Curl
curly neal.

All the guys.
It's funny, now you see the

globetrotters.
They're a bunch of young, new

globetrotters.
Where's curly?

>> yeah.
No.

I saw -- I saw 'em live in
boston at the garden when I was

a kid.
And -- and I had he threw

confetti right next to me.
And I remember going home and

telling everybody it happened to
me.

I had to lie.
I've been lying my entire life

so it's like close enough to
lie.

>> and you remember the team
they played, always.

The designated loser.
What would be sadder than to be

part of the washington generals
and your job is to lose to the

globetrotters at every -- at
every city.

>> you seem like you could be on
the generals.

>> jimmy: I -- spiritually, I
feel like I am captain of the

generals.
>> guillermo would start for the

generals.
>> jimmy: Yes.

So, before you were famous,
before you -- you became famous

pretty young.
Did you ever meet any of these

players?
I know you're a knicks fan

growing up.
Did you ever run into any of

these athletes?
>> jimmy, I love the knicks so

much as a kid and when I was a
real little kid, my uncle

michael was very good friend ws
p

friends with phil jackson.
They played ball together and

became tight.
And I'm guessing they smoked a

lot of dope together.
I don't understand.

But those -- those two guys were
really friendly.

So my father drove me in from
new hampshire to -- to the

garden to meet my uncle.
And my uncle brought me back --

back down where the players
enter.

And it was after the game and my
uncle michael and my dad and me

were -- and my brother scott --
we were there waiting for them

to leave.
And like, walt frasier, bradley,

all those guys walked past us.
And bill jackson goes, hey, and

came over.
And my uncle says this is my

nephew scott and adam.
And phil jackson shook my hand.

And I was like holy cow I just
met phil jackson.

And blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, what?

What's going on in this car?
There's something weird.

And I smell -- smelled my hand
and it -- I had phil jackson's

sweat hand.
A four and a half hour trip.

I kept going phil jackson's hand
smelt terrible.

What the -- I hope phil jackson
doesn't smack me in the face for

that.
>> jimmy: Yeah, right.

>> but -- but, jimmy, when I
would go laker games.

I went to literally 600 laker
games and I would sit right next

to the bench.
And phil jackson always I would

tell my friends I know phil
jackson because of my uncle.

And I'd be sitting there.
I'd be like phil jackson said

hello to me maybe one out of 60
games.

And whenever he did, he'd be
like how's uncle michael?

And I'd be like can this guy
acknowledge I'm a [ bleep ]

movie star?
One time?

>> jimmy: Adam sandler is with
us.

"hubie Halloween" is his new one
it's on netflix October 7th.

We'll be right back with adam.
>>> what's your problem?

>> I think you got the problem.
I think we are going to

dehydrate.
Let's break that up.

>> want to die?
>> not yet.

>> excuse me.
You need to leave the partiy,

right now.
>> I don't see that happening.

>> leave or I will beat you with
a tire iron.

>> you and whose army?
>> me.

And me.
>> and me.

>> and definitely me.
>> let's kill him!

>> yeah!
>> jimmy: No, don't kill him.

We like him.
That's adam sandler in "hubie

Halloween."
>> why would they want to kill

me?
>> jimmy: It seems extreme.

It really does.
What a crazy conast this is.

Let me go through the cast.
You.

Steve bu shemy.
Kevin james.

And shaquille o'neal.
>> yeah.

>> do you get drunk and just
start calling people?

How does it work?
>> similar to that.

Yes.
Yes.

I just -- good friends of mine,
all of those people you named

and I love 'em all.
And we got to go to

massachusetts and make a movie
together.

>> jimmy: I don't want to give
too much away but shaq plays a

very strange character.
How do you explain -- how do you

tell shaq what his role is going
to be?

>> you don't tell shaq.
You just say what do you want to

do?
And shaq goes I'm going to do

this.
And you go, yes, that soubnds

just fine.
Shaq gets the biggest laugh in

the whole movie.
Shaq is just -- he doesn't

demand much.
We were shooting in boston and

he just kind of looked at me.
And I -- and I said can I get

you some baked beans?
And he kept staring.

And I said, no?
How about some fried dough?

I got nothing.
I said how about six pints of

clam chowder soup?
And he gave me like the big

smile.
>> jimmy: Shaq enjoys the clam

chowder.
Your daughters are in the film

as well and they had like real
big parts in it and they did a

great job.
>> thank you.

>> jimmy: Does that make you
nervous?

Especially, with two of them
because what if one of them's

great and then the other one
isn't?

>> that would be tough.
Yeah.

No.
You only can allow one kid to be

so good.
You don't ever be better than

your sister at anything.
So, yeah, no, you make sure that

doesn't happen.
But my -- my kids have fun.

They were -- they were -- I got
very nervous when they're out

there.
And everybody recognizes that I

get a little nutty when the kids
are on the set.

They've been in all my movies
but this is a little bigger than

usual.
And I start getting panicky and

stuff.
And the director, friend of

mine, steve, just walk away,
calm down, let me do this

because I start getting like get
it right!

I guess I'm nervous about them
wasting people's time that I

forced them into -- I don't
know.

I'm psychotic.
They had a great time.

They're sweet as hell.
And they had fun dressing up and

all that stuff.
>> have they seen the movie,

yet?
>> they did.

They had a -- what do you
call -- a social-distanced

backyard thing-a-ma-jiggy where
they showed the movie.

And they were all like ten feet
apart on mattresses watching

this movie.
And they showed "hubie

Halloween."
and I could not bear to watch

because I didn't want to think
my poor kids, if it didn't do

well, they'd probably get hurt
and start screaming at their

friends.
Daddy.

You better love him.
So I just stayed away.

But when I came back, at the
very end, there's -- there's a

music that's over the credits.
And I saw all the seven kids

dancing and jumping up and down
so I was like, okay, I guess it

went well.
>> thangsings went well.

You worked with shaq and kevin
garnet.

Who is the better actor?
Shaq or kevin garnet?

>> they both do -- like I have
only done comedies with shaq.

Shaq is -- I mean, he is
incredibly funny.

Kg is funny, too.
So two -- two different things.

Both great men.
>> would you ever consider shaq

for a serious part in one of
your movies?

>> yes.
I mean, when I watch him after

the games, and when he is
talking to barkley and kenny and

ernie, the guy is, he gets real.
He gets very strong.

Yeah.
He's a very sharp -- I love him.

I'll tell you.
I forgot to mention my uncle

before.
>> yeah.

>> my uncle michael.
I wanted to get this out there,

too.
My uncle's wife, my aunt bobby,

she dated joe naymeth.
>> really?

>> yeah.
>> what does that mean?

What does that mean, dated?
>> see.

That -- they say dated.
I am guessing it was some sort

of afternoon.
But -- but I don't know.

But my uncle -- my uncle michael
was so cool about it, he never,

like, he never got -- when --
when my aunt would say, and

then, joe naymeth.
My uncle was always very proud

like that's right.
Not a problem.

Not a problem.
I'd be like, all right, uncle

mike's --
>> I guess that's like cam

newton playing quarterback for
the patriots after tom brady.

You slide right in there and
everybody's happy.

>> that's a good one, man.
>> well, god bless uncle michael

and thanks for doing the show.
Appreciate it.

Always love checking in with
you.

I hope quarantine goes okay.
>> I love ya, man, and I'm happy

you are doing this and this is
going to be an incredible

series.
This whole -- this whole

lakers/heat thing is excellent.
>> it's going to be fun.

A lot of future co-stars in this
one.

"hue bybie Halloween" netflix,
October 6th.

Adam sandler, everybody.
We'll be back.

Jimmy butler and more with an
nba edition of mean tweets.

>> jimmy: Welcome back to the
fourth quarter of jimmy kimmel

live game night.
Would celebrate the start of the

nba finals with a new edition of
mean tweets but the pandemic

made that difficult this year.
So we dug deep into our archives

and called the very best of the
very best to bring you this.

An all-star nba edition of mean
tweets.

>> james harden always looks
like he's just about to lead the

israelites through the red sea.
>> jimmy butler looks so ugly,

look like a face you put on a
totem pole, bra.

Looking like a tiki mask, bra.
>> if anything ever happens to

the guy who does the voice of
cookie monster.

>> stefan curry's facial hair is
a little pubey.

And while we're on the seasubje
your teeth need some work.

Come on, man.
Come on, man.

>> does anyone know what blake
griffin is?

Did morgan friedman and carrot
top impregnate amazon or what

happened?
>> oh, my god.

They do!
>> russell westbrook look like

jar jar binks.
I'll take your word for it.

I don't know who that is but
sure.

>> so close together.
No [ bleep ] twitter.

Carmelo ain't doing this
[ bleep ].

>> that's our show.
I'll be back later tonight with

julie bowen and my morning
jacket.

But first, game one of the nba
finals.