All language subtitles for Jimmy Kimmel 2020 09 30 Adam Sandler WEB h264 BAE_track3_eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu

Original subtitles

Kimmel live game night. Tonight's guest, adam sandler,

in an nba all star edition of mean tweets.

And now, jimmy kimmel. >> thank you.

Thank you. Hello and welcome.

We are in prime time on basketball night in america.

I am your host, jimmy kimmel. We are coming to you from l.A.,

home of the lakers. And just like at the games, we

have a lot of fake cheering. That's weird.

Tonight, game one of the nba finals between the lakers and

the miami heat. The players have been in the

bubble in orlando since July, which will be funny when

somebody says you just won the nba championship.

Where are you going? And the mvp says I'm staying

right here at disney world. The heat beat the lakers' arch

rival the boston celtics in the conference finals and of course

it would have been great to see the lakers play the celtics

again. But it's even better knowing

matt damon spent the night crying into his my little pony

pillow. Many fans in miami are fired up.

This was the scene there on Sunday night.

Where the bars are open and they appear to have thrown caution to

the wind. >> from the streets to the bars

of winwood, the sounds of pots and pans are taking over the

streets of the magic city tonight.

>> it was the first time since 2014, by the way, that the heat

are going to the final. >> and the fans are going to the

hospital because none of them are wearing masks.

You can't be a diehard fan if you live, can you?

The last time the heat made it to the finals, they had a player

named lebron james. This is lebron's tenth

appearance in an nba final with three different teams and he's

not done. If he wins at the lakers, he

says next year he is going to sign with the pittsburgh

penguins to win a stanley cup. The nba finals have a long and

rich history and tonight, we look back at one of those

moments from history with a basketball historian named

snoop. >> hey.

Hey. What's going on?

It's your boy, snoop d-o-double g.

Roll the tape. Jump ball.

Mad hops. Is that a black man out there?

That's a black man out there. Hold it.

Hold it. He got a white glove on.

A black man with a white glove on.

Good d. Good d.

Good d. Push that.

Push that. Push that.

Where's the black dude? Where is the black dude?

Get the ball to the black dude. To the black dude!

There you go. Why did you pass the ball?

Oh this is when basketball was based on ten passes before you

shot. This is garbage basketball right

here. You the only black dude on the

court. You didn't take the shot?

There you go. White guys, none.

>> jimmy: Thank you, snoop. We have got a great show for you

tonight. We have a new, all-star edition

of nba mean tweets and we'll be right back with adam sandler.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: Later tonight, we have

a new show with julie bowen and music from my morning jacket.

Our guest tonight. He combines them frequently.

You can see him with kevin james, julie bowen, and

shaquille o'neal in his new movie "huebie Halloween" on

netflix. Please, welcome adam sandler.

Hello. >> jimmy!

Hi, everybody. Jimmy!

>> wow. That's quite a beard you have

there. >> it's disgusting.

I'm sorry. It's not a beard.

It's a mask. >> jimmy: No, they're different

things. You can't just grow hair on your

face and protect yourself. Have you been listening to dr.

Fauci, adam? >> yeah.

No. Look jimmy, when I keep my mouth

closed, it's a mask. >> jimmy: You have like a

lumberjack look to you. You look different with the

beard than I would have ever guessed.

>> I don't look good. I know that but I am doing it

for a movie. But my father had a beard my

whole life and this is very similar the way his beard was.

Like, gray at the bottom. I don't have gray hair on my

head, for some reason. But I got grays coming out the

bottom here. >> yeah.

For some reason, it comes out the bottom, first.

It is very amish. It's very menanite, your beard.

>> nobody likes it, at all. People on the street go, no!

No, adam. Doing it for a movie.

They go, no! >> jimmy: Whose basketball shoes

are those behind you? >> these are -- I'm in

philadelphia right now. I just got in this house doing a

movie. And it's coincidental.

These are lebron james, the man who owns this house apparently,

you know, met lebron and he signed sneakers for him.

These are lebron james and I am doing a movie in philly, like

lee lebron's company is producing

it. >> isn't that a funny thing?

We will take a man who is bigger than we are, we'll take his

shoes and put them in a plexiglass box, on display.

>> I know. These are cool.

These are size -- you want to know what size they are?

>> jimmy: Yeah, sure. >> 106.

Jimmy, what is the craziest thing you ever signed for

anybody? I have a funny one.

>> well, you tell yours. I will think about it.

>> okay. I had a person, one time, I was

leaving a haircut. And -- and a kid came out with a

bag of my haircut. And -- and asked me to sign

that. And I did that.

And then, on the internet that night, it -- he was selling it

and saying adam sandler's pubic hair.

It's a true story. >> jimmy: How much?

How much was it? >> I bought 'em back for 65.

How about you, jimmy? How about you?

>> jimmy: I think the craziest thing I ever signed is probably

guillermo's paycheck, probably. >> that's incredible.

That's a great one. >> jimmy: Sitting on the stool

just watching us right now. >> hey, guillermo.

>> how you doing? >> what do you think of the

beard, guillermo? >> I like it.

I think it looks sexy. >> so you said you are doing

something with lebron. Is that --

>> a -- a scout movie. Where I am playing an nba scout,

and I discover a player in Spain.

And -- and I bring him to america.

Real cool. Lebron's company had it and

they -- they called me up and asked if I wanted to be a part

of it. >> did you meet with him?

Does he have an active role in producing this movie?

>> you know, he's in the middle of a -- a championship run right

now. So we're going to get to sitting

down and talking after that. But you know, it's a legit

movie. It's a legit nba movie because

of lebron, right? I came to philly and kyle's

coming by to do a quick, little thing.

I don't think that's because of me.

I think it's because he -- and lebron.

That's what's happening. >> jimmy: Don't sell yourself

short here, adam. Really, you're one of the few

guys who really thinks about I love basketball.

I like these players. I am going to be in a movie with

these players. Shaquille o'neal is in "hubie

Halloween" your new one. >> yes.

By the way, two great guys that I get to be friends with now.

And this new one has loads of nba guys in it.

By -- but one of the coolest things that ever happened to me,

back in the day, when I did "little nikki," the harlem

globetrotters were in the movie and that was like the best.

Did you see the globetrotters when you were a kid?

>> oh, yes, many times. Lemon.

Curl curly neal.

All the guys. It's funny, now you see the

globetrotters. They're a bunch of young, new

globetrotters. Where's curly?

>> yeah. No.

I saw -- I saw 'em live in boston at the garden when I was

a kid. And -- and I had he threw

confetti right next to me. And I remember going home and

telling everybody it happened to me.

I had to lie. I've been lying my entire life

so it's like close enough to lie.

>> and you remember the team they played, always.

The designated loser. What would be sadder than to be

part of the washington generals and your job is to lose to the

globetrotters at every -- at every city.

>> you seem like you could be on the generals.

>> jimmy: I -- spiritually, I feel like I am captain of the

generals. >> guillermo would start for the

generals. >> jimmy: Yes.

So, before you were famous, before you -- you became famous

pretty young. Did you ever meet any of these

players? I know you're a knicks fan

growing up. Did you ever run into any of

these athletes? >> jimmy, I love the knicks so

much as a kid and when I was a real little kid, my uncle

michael was very good friend ws p

friends with phil jackson. They played ball together and

became tight. And I'm guessing they smoked a

lot of dope together. I don't understand.

But those -- those two guys were really friendly.

So my father drove me in from new hampshire to -- to the

garden to meet my uncle. And my uncle brought me back --

back down where the players enter.

And it was after the game and my uncle michael and my dad and me

were -- and my brother scott -- we were there waiting for them

to leave. And like, walt frasier, bradley,

all those guys walked past us. And bill jackson goes, hey, and

came over. And my uncle says this is my

nephew scott and adam. And phil jackson shook my hand.

And I was like holy cow I just met phil jackson.

And blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, what?

What's going on in this car? There's something weird.

And I smell -- smelled my hand and it -- I had phil jackson's

sweat hand. A four and a half hour trip.

I kept going phil jackson's hand smelt terrible.

What the -- I hope phil jackson doesn't smack me in the face for

that. >> jimmy: Yeah, right.

>> but -- but, jimmy, when I would go laker games.

I went to literally 600 laker games and I would sit right next

to the bench. And phil jackson always I would

tell my friends I know phil jackson because of my uncle.

And I'd be sitting there. I'd be like phil jackson said

hello to me maybe one out of 60 games.

And whenever he did, he'd be like how's uncle michael?

And I'd be like can this guy acknowledge I'm a [ bleep ]

movie star? One time?

>> jimmy: Adam sandler is with us.

"hubie Halloween" is his new one it's on netflix October 7th.

We'll be right back with adam. >>> what's your problem?

>> I think you got the problem. I think we are going to

dehydrate. Let's break that up.

>> want to die? >> not yet.

>> excuse me. You need to leave the partiy,

right now. >> I don't see that happening.

>> leave or I will beat you with a tire iron.

>> you and whose army? >> me.

And me. >> and me.

>> and definitely me. >> let's kill him!

>> yeah! >> jimmy: No, don't kill him.

We like him. That's adam sandler in "hubie

Halloween." >> why would they want to kill

me? >> jimmy: It seems extreme.

It really does. What a crazy conast this is.

Let me go through the cast. You.

Steve bu shemy. Kevin james.

And shaquille o'neal. >> yeah.

>> do you get drunk and just start calling people?

How does it work? >> similar to that.

Yes. Yes.

I just -- good friends of mine, all of those people you named

and I love 'em all. And we got to go to

massachusetts and make a movie together.

>> jimmy: I don't want to give too much away but shaq plays a

very strange character. How do you explain -- how do you

tell shaq what his role is going to be?

>> you don't tell shaq. You just say what do you want to

do? And shaq goes I'm going to do

this. And you go, yes, that soubnds

just fine. Shaq gets the biggest laugh in

the whole movie. Shaq is just -- he doesn't

demand much. We were shooting in boston and

he just kind of looked at me. And I -- and I said can I get

you some baked beans? And he kept staring.

And I said, no? How about some fried dough?

I got nothing. I said how about six pints of

clam chowder soup? And he gave me like the big

smile. >> jimmy: Shaq enjoys the clam

chowder. Your daughters are in the film

as well and they had like real big parts in it and they did a

great job. >> thank you.

>> jimmy: Does that make you nervous?

Especially, with two of them because what if one of them's

great and then the other one isn't?

>> that would be tough. Yeah.

No. You only can allow one kid to be

so good. You don't ever be better than

your sister at anything. So, yeah, no, you make sure that

doesn't happen. But my -- my kids have fun.

They were -- they were -- I got very nervous when they're out

there. And everybody recognizes that I

get a little nutty when the kids are on the set.

They've been in all my movies but this is a little bigger than

usual. And I start getting panicky and

stuff. And the director, friend of

mine, steve, just walk away, calm down, let me do this

because I start getting like get it right!

I guess I'm nervous about them wasting people's time that I

forced them into -- I don't know.

I'm psychotic. They had a great time.

They're sweet as hell. And they had fun dressing up and

all that stuff. >> have they seen the movie,

yet? >> they did.

They had a -- what do you call -- a social-distanced

backyard thing-a-ma-jiggy where they showed the movie.

And they were all like ten feet apart on mattresses watching

this movie. And they showed "hubie

Halloween." and I could not bear to watch

because I didn't want to think my poor kids, if it didn't do

well, they'd probably get hurt and start screaming at their

friends. Daddy.

You better love him. So I just stayed away.

But when I came back, at the very end, there's -- there's a

music that's over the credits. And I saw all the seven kids

dancing and jumping up and down so I was like, okay, I guess it

went well. >> thangsings went well.

You worked with shaq and kevin garnet.

Who is the better actor? Shaq or kevin garnet?

>> they both do -- like I have only done comedies with shaq.

Shaq is -- I mean, he is incredibly funny.

Kg is funny, too. So two -- two different things.

Both great men. >> would you ever consider shaq

for a serious part in one of your movies?

>> yes. I mean, when I watch him after

the games, and when he is talking to barkley and kenny and

ernie, the guy is, he gets real. He gets very strong.

Yeah. He's a very sharp -- I love him.

I'll tell you. I forgot to mention my uncle

before. >> yeah.

>> my uncle michael. I wanted to get this out there,

too. My uncle's wife, my aunt bobby,

she dated joe naymeth. >> really?

>> yeah. >> what does that mean?

What does that mean, dated? >> see.

That -- they say dated. I am guessing it was some sort

of afternoon. But -- but I don't know.

But my uncle -- my uncle michael was so cool about it, he never,

like, he never got -- when -- when my aunt would say, and

then, joe naymeth. My uncle was always very proud

like that's right. Not a problem.

Not a problem. I'd be like, all right, uncle

mike's -- >> I guess that's like cam

newton playing quarterback for the patriots after tom brady.

You slide right in there and everybody's happy.

>> that's a good one, man. >> well, god bless uncle michael

and thanks for doing the show. Appreciate it.

Always love checking in with you.

I hope quarantine goes okay. >> I love ya, man, and I'm happy

you are doing this and this is going to be an incredible

series. This whole -- this whole

lakers/heat thing is excellent. >> it's going to be fun.

A lot of future co-stars in this one.

"hue bybie Halloween" netflix, October 6th.

Adam sandler, everybody. We'll be back.

Jimmy butler and more with an nba edition of mean tweets.

>> jimmy: Welcome back to the fourth quarter of jimmy kimmel

live game night. Would celebrate the start of the

nba finals with a new edition of mean tweets but the pandemic

made that difficult this year. So we dug deep into our archives

and called the very best of the very best to bring you this.

An all-star nba edition of mean tweets.

>> james harden always looks like he's just about to lead the

israelites through the red sea. >> jimmy butler looks so ugly,

look like a face you put on a totem pole, bra.

Looking like a tiki mask, bra. >> if anything ever happens to

the guy who does the voice of cookie monster.

>> stefan curry's facial hair is a little pubey.

And while we're on the seasubje your teeth need some work.

Come on, man. Come on, man.

>> does anyone know what blake griffin is?

Did morgan friedman and carrot top impregnate amazon or what

happened? >> oh, my god.

They do! >> russell westbrook look like

jar jar binks. I'll take your word for it.

I don't know who that is but sure.

>> so close together. No [ bleep ] twitter.

Carmelo ain't doing this [ bleep ].

>> that's our show. I'll be back later tonight with

julie bowen and my morning jacket.

But first, game one of the nba finals.

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.