Original subtitles

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Uh, hello? Janice...?

Who the hell are you calling?

Huh? Oh, wrong number, sorry...

Shit...

Dammit, May! You always overdo it.

Having an illegal weapon like this makes things even worse for you... Jonathan Washington.

Bitch! You're no cop!

Rally Vincent, bounty hunter.

And I'm Minnie May!

It's so nice to meet you!

Hello. This is Gunsmith Cats.

What? Becky, say that again?

Washington was arrested for drug possession... but no drugs were found.

But if he knew there was no evidence, why did he run?

Still, that's what he did.

Something doesn't add up. Hey, Becky, could you dig up some more dirt on him?

Well, it'll cost you.

You bloodsucker! ...Huh?

I've got a customer. Later!

Hello. Looking for anything in particular?

I'd like to get some customization done.

A police officer, Roy Coleman, recommended you.

Certainly. Could you write down your name and address?

OK...

Er... You really ought to be more careful! Did you know you left a round in the chamber?

Sorry about that... Is this OK?

Thanks. I'm guessing that you're a police officer. You know this'll make your gun heavier, right?

It's for my personal collection. I'm in the K-9 division, so I carry this on duty.

A revolver, huh? I'd suggest bringing that in for maintenance soon.

Looks like you've got some loose parts.

Looks like you've got some loose parts. I do...?

Oh, that's my partner calling.

Uh, you can call me at that number if you want. I'm available for dinner on weekends.

Thanks, but I think I'll just call you when your gun is ready.

Say "Hi" to Roy for me.

A bulletproof heart, just like I heard. See ya!

Come back soon!

Boy! It's no wonder you can't get a man.

Boy! It's no wonder you can't get a man. You're not helping!

You're not helping!

Relax! A date doesn't mean you've gotta get married. You're not helping!

Relax! A date doesn't mean you've gotta get married.

Relax! A date doesn't mean you've gotta get married. Shut up!

Welco...

Don't worry! I come in peace.

William Collins, ATF.

I'm a special agent with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms.

And what can we do for the Department of Regulating Everything People Like?

Our books are up to date.

Oh, no. That's not what I'm here for!

So what, then?

Honestly? I'd like your help on a little sting operation.

Say what?!

Can we talk this over in the back room? Hmm...?

So... Jonathan Washington doesn't smuggle drugs... he runs guns.

Right. And he skipped out so he could sell enough guns to post his own bail.

And then I caught him before he could do that.

So, why not let him escape again?

I'm afraid it's not that easy... which brings me to why I'm here.

You want us to do business with him so you can find out where the guns are?

Correct. Alas, we're operating on a shoestring, but... huh?

Sorry, but we don't have much to discuss.

This way to the egress!

Ah, bummer. I really didn't want to get a warrant to search your house...

Just what are you implying?

"Illegal possession of weapons requiring a Class 3 license."

You don't have one?

And as for you, May Hopkins...

Illegal possession of explosives, multiple violations of Title 7, subchapter C...

Right... What do you want us to do?

If this works out... you'll get the license and we'll waive the $250 tax on each gun.

Well, I'm not asking for an immediate decision. Please think it over.

Thanks for the coffee... Oh, and one more thing...

Be sure to lock your doors.

They just left the shop.

Roger. I'm ready. Counting on you.

Roger.

Hey! There's nothing to eat!

Nothing to eat? I just went out and got dinner. Don't be so picky.

I'm sick of Chinese takeout.

And I'm sick of the pizza you always get!

How dare you say that!

Hey, but seriously. What do we do about that ATF guy?

What choice do we have? If we don't do what he wants, we'll both be wearing handcuffs.

That doesn't sound like you. Can't we do anything?

Well, why don't you use some of those feminine wiles of yours?

You've got a thing for middle-aged men, right?

Well, at least I still feel young.

Well, at least I still feel young. Rally!

Come off it, Rally. That guy has zero style.

Ken, love you...

Hey! This is just an ordinary house. Are you sure they've got loads of guns?

Hey, man, I have a source.

OK. Let's do this quick.

Thieves? It's been a while...

It's the mother lode!

What did I tell you?

Wow! So much variety!

Who on Earth collects this kind of stuff?

Hey! Take a look at this bad boy!

There's enough here to start a war!

No question about that!

Three of them. Piece of cake.

Hey! Are you gonna blow up the house?

These won't make as much smoke.

That's not the point. You keep out of this.

Aww...

Hey! The other room is filled with ammo.

Cool. That's just what I need.

Man, you just can't wait to load that thing, can you?

I've always wanted to hold a gun like this.

Shit!

Where'd he go? Huh?

Wait! Don't go that way!

This is a no-parking zone.

What do you mean, "Stay out of this"?

Like I said, the ATF has jurisdiction...

Geez, what a mess!

How'd you get here so quickly? This feels like a set-up.

Come on, how can I be involved?

Hmph... I smell bullshit.

My, what a splendid collection you have.

It'd be a real waste to have to melt them all down.

Enough, already. We'll cooperate.

Enough, already. We'll cooperate. Huh?

Huh?

You will? That'd be great! Huh?

But on one condition. You've gotta let me do it my way.

That means no tails, and no outside interference.

You got it! Deal?

I don't want you anywhere near me. May... let's go!

Ra... Rally!

Ra... Rally! Uh... Oops!

Oh... Um...

It's only your panties. It's not like you're seeing anyone.

Shut up, you...

Why on Earth are you here?

Like I said, I just want to buy your "toys".

First you put me in jail, and now this? Well, whatever...

I still need cash. Cough up some front money, then we can talk about the details.

How much do you need?

Go ask the judge.

Oh, I gotcha.

Okay, I made a deal with Washington. He said he'd fax me the time and place later.

Well done. I was right to bring you in.

You don't need to suck up. Just remember what you promised.

Of course. I won't get in your way.

Why am I not reassured? And another thing...

We won't tail you. You have my word!

Anyway... I'm counting on you.

What?

What? The boss wants you.

The boss wants you.

Whah...? - The boss wants you.

Oh, terrific. The cat's out of the bag.

Yes, when it comes to this case...

Come in.

You wanted me?

We've got three dead agents and I haven't seen any real results. What's going on?

I've been busy.

Right... So who's on it?

Well... nobody...

Nobody? No one's on the case?

Well, I have no conclusive evidence.

But it looks like there's a leak...

Somewhere in the ATF, in the Illinois division.

You can't be serious! Who is it?

Like I told you, I've got no evidence. If I knew who it was, I'd have done something by now.

W... Well, I see your point.

What?

You have a call from a state senator.

I'll be right with him. Hey, Bill!

Worst case, I'll do a little covert work. Later...

I'm counting on you.

I'm counting on you. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I know.

Hello! Yes, Black speaking! Yeah, I know.

It's always nice to hear from you...

It's always nice to hear from you... Being the boss just means more work.

Why are you always doing this to me? You're nothing but trouble.

You always decide things without asking me!

You always decide things without asking me! What was that, Becky?

What was that, Becky?

I said, why'd you take such a stupid job? What was that, Becky?

I was worried, so I arranged a great gig for you.

Look, I told you... we'll have license and tax problems if we don't do this job.

So what?!

Rally, you got a fax.

Oh, Becky, what're you doing here?

That's a good question! It's obvious that my advice isn't worth squat here!

Hey now, I'll tell you what... I'll buy you dinner.

No pizza or Chinese.

Hey, Rally... Where the heck are you taking me?

All you have to do is stay in the car.

After that, trust me, I'll buy dinner.

And what do I do?

Nothing whatsoever.

What?!

What?! Oh, I see. You're making me babysit May.

Oh, I see. You're making me babysit May.

Bingo! Oh, I see. You're making me babysit May.

Bingo!

Bingo! Now hold on a...!

OK... Be right back.

OK... Be right back. (UNINTELLIGIBLE)

(UNINTELLIGIBLE)

Be careful. (UNINTELLIGIBLE)

Be careful.

Be careful. (UNINTELLIGIBLE)

Who's there?

Rally Vincent. I'm here to make a buy from Jonathan Washington.

Inside.

Inside. Thank you.

You're packing, right? We'll keep them for you.

You're packing, right? We'll keep them for you. Okay...

Okay...

Slowly! Okay...

Slowly!

Slowly! Sheesh...

Like that?

Like that? Give it to him.

What's next?

What's next? Any other weapons?

Yes. Here you go.

Right! Full body check!

Be gentle with me.

Sorry! Just doing my job.

She's clean.

She's clean. Hey.

Washington's upstairs.

You. Go with her.

You. Go with her. Yeah.

What an annoying bitch!

Who is it?

Who is it? My, such good taste.

Oh, it's you. Thanks for coming.

Of course I came! I did pay your bail, after all.

By the way, when do I get my guns back?

You'll get them back... as soon as you pass a little test.

Test...?

Test...? Yeah. The boss told me to be very careful with you.

What kind of test?

What kind of test? Ahh, it's no big deal. Here... this way.

Who's he?

Who's he? Some special agent.

He was snooping around outside. Lucky for us, the boss spotted him.

Looks like I'm famous.

Now I remember him!

This is the guy who blackmailed me into setting you up.

That's what I thought.

That's what I thought. Rally...

Sorry... but things aren't going to go your way.

So, what's this test?

Here's his gun.

Here's his gun. You want me to kill him?

Business is built on trust.

Hmph!

Hey, where are the bullets? You don't expect me to club him to death, do you?

Oops! You're good!

An amateur couldn't tell that a gun's empty just by picking it up.

Here...

Here... Huh...? One? So much for trust.

Huh...? One? So much for trust.

The boss is careful. Huh...? One? So much for trust.

You do know that killing a cop is bad for business?

By the way, I'd like some proof you've got the merchandise.

No problem! I know... I've got a few samples over here.

Now, here's something that could come in handy.

I'm looking for something more conventional.

Don't worry. We've got crates full of guns downstairs.

Ah, good.

Shit!

Freeze!

Uh... Let's talk this over.

This is what happens when you don't take a lady at her word.

You too!

All the lights went out!

Oh my... this looks pretty bad...

That's my cue.

That's my cue. Huh? May? How'd you get loose?

Don't!

May...

Rally, you really shouldn't have deceived me.

Just paying you back for jumping the gun.

Anyway, how the hell did you find this place?

Well, I may have crap fashion sense, but I can be useful.

I'm no Eliot Ness, though.

Uh... sure.

You know what? They don't trust you at all.

Looks pretty grim. Too bad we can't grow wings and fly away.

Suck it up. I don't intend to be wearing a halo anytime soon.

I love your optimism!

Hey, bossman... shall we boogie?

You reckless moron!

Over there!

Shiiit!

Locked...

Well then...

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe...

Rally! Cover me!

You take care of yourself!

I'm in trouble too...

Rally, you OK? Rally!

I'm not one to gamble, but...

That bitch is a crack shot.

I was just aiming at the floor, but I'm not complaining.

Rally, behind you!

Rally!

Oh... Shit!

Rally? Where are you? Rally!

May, look out!

Rally!

Rally! Idiot!

Die!

Die! Bill!

Well, I wasn't totally useless after all, huh?

Oh, sure! That was about the stupidest stunt I've ever seen!

Yeah, pretty much!

Bastards! It's not over yet...

My turn!

None of this is on me!

Yes, we caught the lot of them.

What is your problem? You have no sense of proportion whatsoever.

And if I hadn't shown up, you'd be arriving in Hell about now.

I could've taken care of myself!

Oh, is that so?

Hey now, you two.

Hey now, you two. This was all your fault! This was all your fault!

Eh? What did you say? I can't hear so well because of that explosion.

What a jerk!

What a jerk! Could he be a bigger asshole?

Which reminds me, I've got one more little job for you girls! How about it?

Huh?! Huh?!

You're joking... You're joking...