Original subtitles

This programme contains strong and saucy language.

Serious question, have you ever been in love?

Fred's so fit, isn't he?

He just oozes sex.

Get here, Fred!

SHE GUFFAWS

This is the First Dates Restaurant.

Wow!

These hopefuls...

Oh, wow.

..are about to take a chance...

Pow!

HE SINGS HIGH NOTE

..on a real blind date.

Are you who I think you are? It's great to be here!

Oh, my God!

We're both going fingers in.

MUFFLED: Fingers in.

For some...

There you are, darling.

You're so cheesy!

Oh, he likes me.

Doll, you can tell, seriously!

..passions will ignite...

Do you actually know my name, by the way?

..but the course of true love...

You just kissed me and you don't know my name!

..never did run smooth.

Oh, my God!

Ready? Pew!

Pew, pew, pew!

Really?

What happens next...

So, then...

..is down to them.

Here I go.

One...

BOTH: ..two, three...

I definitely want another one of these in a minute.

God, slow down! Don't want to get smashed now, do you?

Remember what happened the last time?

HE LAUGHS

# Get this party started on a Saturday night

# Everybody's waiting for me... #

Hiya. You OK?

What happened to your voice?

I... I lost it a little bit in town last night.

Are you a party girl? No.

No? Just last night, then?

Oh, gosh! You know that was a lie, then. I am a party girl.

# I'm coming up

# So, you better get this party started. #

You can get so caught up on how people look,

but I'd rather be with somebody that I actually had the best time

and the most amount of fun I could possibly have.

Agreed.

I party hard...

LAUGHING: ..and then come home on my own!

Well, we're not ready to go home.

You're not ready to go home. The party goes on.

SHE LAUGHS

I'll go for a Peroni, and I will have a tequila as well.

I'm where I want to be with my life and I'm happy,

and I want to share that and enjoy the good times.

How do you like your tequila? Slammer, please.

Slammer? Yes. Ooh!

Give me a fun guy who loves life

and loves a tequila.

This is Welsh beautician Nikita.

I do like to think of myself not as a Swansea girl.

I think... I love Swansea girls kind of thing.

They're up for a laugh, which is quite like me,

but I feel like...

Actually, no. Yeah, I am.

I am definitely a Swansea girl, yeah!

I feel fresh as a daisy. One's enough?

One's enough, just for now, anyway.

For now, OK.

Maybe I am a bit of a ladette. I do love my local.

And I love to chant, "Oggy, oggy, oggy! Oi, oi, oi!"

But I've got my own business - a successful business -

so I do take life seriously.

It's just finding the missing piece, I suppose.

Tell me, what sort of guy are you looking for?

Somebody with a cracking sense of humour, do you know? Yes.

Let's have some fun.

I haven't met somebody that I can have some fun with, who can keep up.

So, I think that's why nothing's ever really worked -

because I've never met my match.

# I get knocked down... #

Hoping to rev up Nikita's engine is car mechanic Rhys.

I'd personally say I was the best-looking man in the village.

A lot of people would say otherwise,

but they don't really know what they're talking about.

# I get knocked down, but I get up again... #

Hello, how are you? How are you? Are you a party man? Yes. Are you?

What did you do last night? Had a few drinks. Did you?

Yeah, yeah, of course.

Welsh girls can drink. Welsh girls are something else for drinking.

They are ridiculous. It is mad.

They will drink with you, fight you

and try and sleep with you on the same night.

It's mad. I love it.

You all right? Yeah, I'm good, thanks. I'm Rhys. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. What's your name? Nikita. Nikita.

Where are you from? Swansea. Are you? Where are you from?

Like, Lampeter. Yeah! What can I get you?

I am gasping for a pint. You're gasping for a...

Yeah, yeah. A toast. Sound, yeah.

I probably will be absolutely bricking it in there.

I get the worst anxiety ever. It's mainly dates.

Just the idea of a date, just having to sit across a table

from someone you've never met before.

What do you do as work, then? Do you work? I do lashes.

I've got big lashes. Have you? Have I?

I'm sure someone told me before.

I'm not going to dampen your ego, but I'll go with what you say.

SHE LAUGHS

What do you do? I'm a lorry mechanic. Oh, OK. Lush.

In a place called Llanybydder.

Sorry? Llanybydder.

Is that Welsh? Yeah. Course it is Welsh.

Do you speak Welsh, then? Welsh used to give me a migraine in school.

What actual school did you go to, then? A rough one. Yeah?

That's mad. THEY LAUGH

Banging.

Oh, fucking hell!

Right, you party animals, are you ready?

Yeah, all good. OK, let's go.

Thank you.

Do you know these straws - are these made of wood? Of what?

Are they made of wood?

Would you say "wud" or "wood"? Wood. I say "wud".

HE SIGHS

Hello, sir. Hello, Merlin.

How are you? I'm very good, thank you.

Can I get you a drink? Can I just have an orange juice, please?

Yeah, of course.

This is fitness instructor Selvin,

who's on a mission to get hearts racing.

Do you date much? I never have done. I didn't...

The average guys out chatting up girls

and going out and whatever, I've just never done that.

I've always just liked to meet women,

and when I meet them, I just talk to them and whatever.

I curse When Harry Met Sally

because a Hollywood production gave the impression that

you can meet a girl casually, become friends with her,

and a couple of years down the road,

she'll want to make passionate love to you.

In real life, you get friend-zoned,

and it's easier to get out of Alcatraz prison

than to get out of the friend zone.

What do you do in your spare time, Selvin? I go to shows.

I like dance shows. Do you dance, as well? I do. What do you dance?

Probably body popping and a bit of moonwalking

and things like that, as well, so...

MERLIN CHUCKLES ..I do do a bit.

HE LAUGHS Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Come hither. Good timing. Austin, Selvin. Selvin, Austin.

Hello. It's good to meet you. And yourself.

You see, Austin body pops. Does he?

I am the king of body popping here at the First Dates restaurant.

Really? Yeah, it's great.

You may well have a challenger in your midst.

I have a challenger? Oh!

I think I'm quite shy.

That being said, my desire to dance or joke around is greater.

All right, you do a little freestyle and pass it to me,

and then we'll see what's going on. OK.

I just love dancing.

I'm the first one on the dance floor and the last one to get off it.

Yes! Mm! Ooh!

Oh! Pow! Pow!

There is always going to be someone who's going to appreciate me...

..so I'm just prepared to wait until that person comes along.

It's not Britain's Got Talent, you know.

THEY LAUGH He started it!

We're here to find him a date. THEY LAUGH

A song that I have to get on the dance floor,

no matter what - Luther Vandross. I'm the first one there.

MUSIC: Never Too Much by Luther Vandross

Selvin's date is 49-year-old dancing queen Donna.

Got the cameraman jigging, as well.

Me? I dance like nobody's watching.

I don't care if you come on the dance floor. More space for me!

My dream man? He's got to be young at heart, confident.

I've got the mime.

A gentleman. I must state that word. A gentleman.

Every king has their queen.

I think I deserve to be somebody's queen again.

Hello, how are you? Good evening. How are you?

What's your name, please? Donna. Donna. That's a nice name.

# I just don't want to stop

# Too much, never too much, never too much... #

Can you move your body? Oh, yes. My little two-step going. Really?

Selvin, this is your date. Good evening. How are you? You all right?

Good to meet you. Your name is...? Selvin. Selvin.

He's a good dancer. She's a good dancer, too. Ah.

Little two-step going.

What can I get you? I'll have a glass of rose champagne.

Coming right up.

You look lovely today. Thank you very much. Cheers.

So, what do you do for a living? I'm a fitness instructor part-time.

It's quite interesting. I'm into fitness.

Yeah! A personal trainer! THEY LAUGH

Oh, I see. That's it, you know...

Get mates' rates, everything! Ooh, mates' rates!

You've literally met me two minutes ago,

and you want a discount?

THEY LAUGH

What do you feel you need to work on, then?

From the neck...

From the neck downwards?

Shall I take you through? Yes. Please.

This is my third one. Oh! I have to catch up.

Oh!

The connection Welsh people have is, like... It's mad, like.

Cos we are all just twats. Basically, yeah. Yeah.

I think that's a massive thing, isn't it?

Sorry I took so long. That's all right. No worries.

Nice tats, by the way. Thank you very much. Are you covered?

My chest. Up here, chest, leg...

..bit of my ribs. Hey up, what was that little smirk?

Is there a secret tattoo? Yeah. I thought so.

Right, right, right, imagine...

Imagine a penis is a fireplace.

I'm sorry? Sorry, start again.

Imagine a penis is a fireplace. Penis is a fireplace.

If you look at the mantelpiece, that's where my tattoo is.

On your balls?

No. Above! Mantelpiece is up, not down. Oh, OK.

I got it just above it. What does it say?

You can't really see it. Let me check first.

Check? What are you checking for? Right...

Are we good down there? Yeah, yeah. Just checking. Everything OK?

See? It says "lucky girl" on it.

SHE GASPS Oh, my God!

My eyes are burning. I'll explain to you now...

Oh, my God. I don't want to see it.

It says "lucky girl". Oh, my God.

Hiya.

He just go his pubic area out to show me his tattoo.

A lucky girl...above his penis.

I'm quite controversial, the things I do and say.

And that is probably why I'm single.

How are you doing? I just get nervous.

Oh, ooh, OK. I was bricking it before.

Was you? Yeah!

I've literally only had two dates.

One, maybe.

I don't go on dates.

That's the worst thing I've ever done in my life.

Genuine, that.

I get mad anxiety. Yeah.

Do you feel nervous now, are you OK?

Yeah, I imagine I'm quite a pain in the ass, like, to put up with.

Be unconventional.

Normal's boring.

Yeah?

Have you got any embarrassing tattoos?

Not as bad as that, no, I wouldn't say...I wouldn't say that.

No, genuine now.

Oh, let's swiftly move on from that cos I've had enough

of that lucky girl.

Have you got any siblings?

Yeah, I've got a sister and she's got a daughter now,

so it's my first niece.

So, no children? No, have you got children?

Yeah, I've got children. Yeah? Boys, girls?

Boy. Boy. Six. No way!

People might be surprised but I'm a single mum

to my six-year-old boy, Oscar.

I've got an alter ego, definitely, you know?

There's one side you see to me on a night out

and then the other side, six days a week,

is the mum that's sensible and I'm softly spoken.

We've got good rules and regulations.

What's he like, then? What's he do?

What's his hobbies, does he like sports? Yeah, loves football.

No way!

When you see in films when, like, two people meet

and they get that, like, immense feeling of love,

I've never had that with anybody but I had that with Oscar

and I just knew that he was going to be the best thing to happen to me.

Oh, my God, do you want to see what he went as for Halloween?

Oh, my God, that's sick! That's awesome!

Because I've got a child, it might put some people off

but I think it's a really good way of distinguishing men from boys.

Yeah, it's mad, like. I've been around children and stuff before

but it's like every day, they learn something new and shit like that.

Massive respect, it's not easy. Thank you.

All right, son.

Do you have a particular song that you can relate to?

You remember Shalamar? Mm.

And Jeffrey Daniel... That's it, yeah.

Night To Remember? Yeah.

# Going to make this a night to remember #.

That's it! # To remember #.

Yeah, tune!

I thought I've got to learn how to do that.

I went to, I think, Carnaby Street and got the jacket

that he was wearing.

I got some white gloves that he was wearing. No...

Yes, I did.

So, at the Christmas party, you know, when I worked at the bank,

you know, the song came on, didn't it? Whatever.

IMITATES THE INTRO

Would you...

..would you say that you're a shy person?

Um, semi-shy. Yeah.

Being one of seven...

..has...had its difficulties.

We were perhaps a bit on the poor side, you know,

sharing the bed and there was never a hell of a lot of food to eat.

And all the luxuries like new clothes

and certainly holidays was just non-existent.

As soon as I was able to work, I sort of just said,

let me catch up on what I missed out on when I was younger.

I've been away and done some really wild things, so...

Like? Um...

Tornado chasing in the Midwest.

You're following that thing that's probably going to kill you?

THEY LAUGH

I think I'm very unconventional in so many aspects about life.

I thing women, they don't know what to make of me.

I went running with the bulls in Pamplona.

And... What, tennis balls, footballs, what sort of balls?

Bulls. Oooh!

Bulls! Sorry!

Tennis balls are not that scary at all.

Nah, I would not see that as fun, unfortunately.

Do you smoke? Yeah.

You? Yeah!

I'm always so scared of saying I'm a smoker. Yeah, me too.

Will you ask where the smoking area is?

Just put your hand up.

HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

I can't do it. Go on, put your hand up.

SHE LAUGHS

Keep it up.

How do I look on the camera? Do I look nice?

Do I look young and...?

Fabulous! I do, thank you.

This is Kelly Ann,

a former "it girl" who's been turning heads for 50 years.

These Summer of Love is bullshit.

'70s was the period when it got promiscuous, not the '60s.

Very few people actually had....girlfriends.

We all moved around and I loved it.

SHE LAUGHS

Hello. You're so elegant.

Thank you. What is your name, please?

I'm Kelly Ann. Kelly Ann.

Are you a flirt? Outrageous, I'm flirting with you!

Haven't you noticed?

What's wrong with the girl?

What do you do in life?

I'm a retired lady. Are you retired?

Yeah, but I'm nearly 70.

Did you drink from the fountain of youth?

Yes. Wonderful! I think so.

You must have done!

I have a grandson. We were at the bonfire party and he came up to me.

He said, "Tom says, Gran, that you're a GILF."

So I said, "What's a GILF?"

It's a granny I'd like to...

Little devils!

The little devils.

And so you retired from... What did you use to do?

I was a Bunny. You were a Bunny? Yeah.

Oh, well, I never, as in a... As in a...? As in Playboy Bunny.

Yeah. As in Bunny... Oh, you know the bunny dip?

I know a...the Bunny Dip is legendary. Yeah.

It's a proper full-length, full costume.

You feel sexy and you feel like you're in some great

Hollywood movie, a musical or something.

40 years later, this may be ambitious of me.

Whoa!

I was probably the only girl out of the whole of the

London Playboy Club that actually lived in the mansion in LA

for three months and I met Hefner.

He was never attracted to me.

I'm just not his type, I'm too boyish.

I love it. No tits in your face, no hair all over your dinner.

I've a few dates with Jack Nicholson.

What was he like?

Oh, Jack was great fun in those days.

Peter Cook, who's adorable.

Who else? Jimmy Page, the guitarist with Led Zeppelin.

So, what are you looking for?

I suppose, in a way...

You know, I've met people who do the most boring jobs

but have the most interesting hobbies.

I'd like a man that's been daring, I'd like a daring man

because I'm a daring girl.

Where's my date?! He coming...

I'm starting to think you're my date.

HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

This is distinguished daredevil Steven.

I'm an adrenaline junkie. I mean, I motocross.

I've snapped a lot of bits and pieces.

My neck, pelvis, arm, back, coccyx, ribs, fingers.

Ripped that arm clean out, fractured it, tore the ligaments.

Collarbone four times.

I mean, they had my name over the hospital at one point.

the William Harvey in Ashford, they had Stevie's Ward.

Are you serious?! No!

THEY LAUGH

How are you? Lovely to meet you. Nice to meet you. And you.

What's your name? Steve. Steve. Yeah, you're there, Steve.

It would be lovely to meet someone that actually clicks

and has got chemistry.

It'd be nice if, you know, they've got a style about them

and something different.

Shall I get your coat, Steve? Yes, thank you.

If it did work out, what would that mean to you?

It would be lovely. Just... It would be lovely.

Hello? Hello, how are you? Steven.

I'm good, I'm Kelly Ann. Kelly Ann.

Hello, Steven. Lovely to meet you. Nice to meet you. And you.

Shall I take your scuff? Yeah.

Thank you.

So, what do you do, are you retired or are you still working?

Well, I'm retired but I used to be a model.

Yeah, I've done modelling in my years...gone by.

Have you? I'm not surprised, though, because you do have a rather

distinctive kind of cool look about you.

Thank you. What is... What is all this, tattoos?

Lots. Tattoo, tattoo.

About 75%. No! What, all over your body?

Yeah. How far down? Uh, all over.

Oh, my God! You know, I once saw the best tattoo...

..and it was on someone's penis. Sorry! Lovely.

Sorry, sorry, but... No, no.

I didn't actually see it, I saw a photo of it.

It was a perfect tattoo...

..of Pinocchio.

THEY LAUGH

You can sit down if you like. OK, I might.

What's your first impressions? Sound. When you walked in?

What, so that's your first impressions, you thought I'm sound?

Oh, you're lovely. A nice girl, you're a lovely girl.

Did you like my dress? Yeah, no, it's colourful.

I mean...I...how many...do you go on much dates? I love dating.

Fact, I've only been on two ever. You're lying! Honestly.

I usually sort of date people who are really confident

and quite sure of themselves.

And I felt like he was really nervous but it was quite endearing,

as well, it was nice, you know, because he was genuine.

How are we doing this? I'll pay for it. OK.

THEY LAUGH Sound!

Right, hiya.

You all right? You all right? I'm laughing, honest to God.

THEY LAUGH

So...

Would you like to go on a second date?

I'd...Yeah, I'd...I'd see you again, just...

..just see how it goes, yeah?

Yes. Yes!

Thank you. You're welcome.

You know what you want in life, you know...

You've got your business. You are a strong, independent woman.

I enjoyed it, no, I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it.

I'd definitely advise you to keep the tattoo to yourself.

If you ever...

..think to yourself to get that out in a restaurant again,

I would say no.

Just anywhere with some tequila, please. Tequila!

MIXER CLATTERS

How long have you been single? Um...

I haven't been out on a date for a couple of years now.

Is that due to a choice or time?

Some of the guys I know will just hit on to any woman... Yeah.

..anywhere, any time.

But I just... I've never been comfortable in doing that.

Mm. But there's an argument I should say things

in a slightly different way...

..which is...

Hello, Donna.

SHE LAUGHS

My, you look fine!

SHE LAUGHS

I'll be honest with you.

Puberty came and went like a wet weekend in Clacton.

I didn't get hair on my chest.

I didn't get no bass in my voice.

I want to speak like Barry White.

ADOPTING A DEEPER TONE: Hey, Donna.

SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

Because let me ask you, then...

HIGH PITCHED VOICE: Hi Donna. ADOPTING DEEPER TONE: Hi, Donna.

You tell me which has...?

I'm not going to lie, the deep one does sound more sexy!

THEY LAUGH

There... There you have it.

Let me get rid of these for you.

I think if I could pick a voice that I like, it's Colin Farrell.

He's Irish and he's got like a... It's not too deep...

IN IRISH ACCENT: I'm Colin Farrell. ..but deep enough to be...

Yeah, a little bit. Can you go deeper? Go deeper.

Top of the morning to you. Ooh!

I should lower my voice. You should lower your voice.

Have you got kids? No, I haven't. No? No.

It's just something... It's just never happened.

Married? I used to be married. Yeah.

Separated three years now. Oh, OK.

When you got married, did you think to yourself

this was going to be forever, then?

Yeah, I think that's what most...most women think.

You get married, yeah, this is the one. Hmm.

But obviously my one wasn't the one, do you know what I mean?

I used to work long hours. Yeah.

He messed about.

So I just...

..knocked on the head, sort of thing. Mm.

I just seen all these missed calls.

And then one of them stated, oh, are you with her now,

that's why you can't talk?

So I says to him, well, would you like to explain

what this actually means?

And his face just dropped.

Black man but he went white. SHE LAUGHS

It takes a lot of energy out to hate somebody. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? So... Yeah.

It's how you progress and move on from that hurt.

Yeah, yeah.

When your heart's broken...

SHE EXHALES HEAVILY

He's got to be a special man if he breaks this again.

Because it will just shatter next time.

So...

I think the older I'm getting,

I don't think I'm prepared to settle. Yeah.

For anything less than I think I deserve, do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Probably why I'm still on my own!

Yeah, no, no, that's actually quite common.

You can make me laugh.

Then that can only be a good sign. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. That I'm laughing, I'm joking.

You get what I'm saying? Yeah.

So other guys that you've dated,

where did you meet them, then, or...?

I meet guys all over the place. Do you?

I mean, that sounds really bad!

SHE LAUGHS

You actually give them tickets or whatever.

Here's a ticket. Check.

Next!

Number 47, your time's up.

Yeah, here we go, whatever.

SHE LAUGHS

Oh! Gotcha.

Do you smoke? Yeah. Breakfast is a cup of tea and a fag.

Oh, me too. Give me five! Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I'm really very proud of myself because the last week,

I've not had a cigarette after 10 o'clock.

Too many cigarettes before I try to go to sleep keep you awake.

Yeah. You know, most days by 9 o'clock, 9.30,

I'm done, going to bed. You go to bed at 9 o'clock? Yeah.

Do you? Yeah. Bloody hell, you're boring.

Not every night. That's good to know.

Do you like to go to the cinema? No, I go out-out.

What do you go out to do? I go to the casino. I do roulette.

It's funny you should mention that, because I used to be a bunny.

Shut up. No, I'm not going to shut up. I was a bunny. Really?

And I was a blackjack dealer.

I worked at a Playboy club. What as?

As a busboy and then a cocktail barman when I was 18 years old.

Oh, isn't that funny? Stephen, I could have met you there.

When I look back at those photos, or some of those photos,

I think, "God, you were lovely!"

Youth is lovely.

I hardly ever see any young people who I don't think are beautiful.

It's the skin, it's the whole thing.

What year were you there? '73, '74.

It is kind of daunting losing your face and losing your looks.

I might be a while.

No matter how much you tell yourself you're fine with that,

most women are not fine with that.

That's why they're injecting and cutting open and my God,

the temptation is constantly looming.

And I want someone that's going to make me oblivious to this,

to not care about that.

That's pretty big.

That's asking a lot from someone.

Can you see I'm starting to wrinkle? Oh, shut up.

Do you know what I think is key to young skin? Yeah?

Sleep, spinach and water. Oh, the three Ss.

No, SSW!

I don't get coughs, colds, aches or pains

or nothing like that at all, ever. No, are you serious? Never-never?

I've been working for 37 years now. Never a day off sick.

The thing is... Yeah?

You know how they always say to you, "Just in case I get hit by a bus"?

It's the saying, innit? Yeah.

I was actually hit by a bus!

SHE KEEPS LAUGHING

You were hit by a bus? Yes.

I was, regrettably, struck by a bus.

I'm sorry, that's so rude of me. What number?!

I thought there was a spark when she was laughing.

Every woman I've ever met

has said that she likes a sense of humour in a man.

Right, I've got to compose myself.

Sorry, go on! I'm listening.

SHE GIGGLES AGAIN

I wasn't watching where I was going

and I was put on a stretcher and I thought,

"My sick record's going to be gone now".

He really did make me laugh. He was really nice.

I haven't said anything! Hot flush. Right!

Would you like to see each other again?

Yes, I'd like to see her again.

Unfortunately not. Hmm.

Well, that's been fun.

That really has been fun. I enjoyed it.

It would be nice if we could stay friends. Yeah.

But anything romantically, you know what I mean, it wasn't for me.

OK, well... It's very nice of you to be honest like that.

Yeah, I just, like, um...

..my men to sound like men.

Thank you, Fred.

IN DEEP VOICE: Deep?

Deep.

You told me you like it deep.

You did say that.

I gave you two versions in the restaurant

and I said to you, "Which one do you prefer?"

"Oh, I like it deep".

You...

Have you got any friends you can...?

Hook you up with? Yeah, hook me up with. That's what I want to hear.

I've been friend-zoned again. Again!

Let me see you across the road! SHE LAUGHS

I'm sure it would not happen again, it was just a one-off thing!

There we are, now you're safe! See you, babe.

Question. Hmm? Is that even? Is that even? Yeah. Cici, help me out here.

She's better at this stuff than I am, I'm bloody useless. Is it even?

Yes, perfect. Excellent, thank you. Strong beard. Thank you!

This is 31-year-old ex-RAF driver Aaron.

So what's up with you and dating generally?

Um, I don't know, I've just not had the confidence, really. Seriously?

You don't look like you're lacking confidence.

But with girls, it's different. You know how it is?

You struggle? I'm really useless at flirting. I'm literally shocking.

When I fancy someone, I'll go bright red.

I'll start mixing up my words, I'll start st-stuttering.

How are you feeling? Nervous. Oh, are you? Yeah.

You've got lovely eyes, by the way. Thank you.

Really pretty eyes.

Sometimes I can't pick up when they're being flirty with me.

You could be so obvious and I'd be like... what?

You do, lovely eyes. Thank you.

Thank you, Merlin. Are they contacts?

No, they're my real eyes. Gifted with them.

Pretty much the only thing I have been gifted with.

What sort of girls do you like?

Um, I tend to like adventurous sort of girls.

Someone that's happy to try things out, that's the main thing,

someone that's open-minded, definitely.

Thank you.

Hello. Aaron's date is 26-year-old support worker Jess.

I'm spontaneous, random and a whole lot of woman!

I can't go anywhere without having a little cheeky flirt,

because I've been single for so long that you just feel

like you've got to make sure the little light is still there,

you're not getting those cobwebs.

Hello, how are you?

I'm very well, how are you? Very good, thank you.

What's your name? Jess. Jess, fantastic.

Ooh-la-la, this is quite an outfit.

I look a bit red. Yes!

Here we go, have fun. Thank you!

HE LAUGHS

No way! All right? I'm very well, how are you? I'm good, yeah.

Do you know each other? Yeah, we do.

That's mad! Yeah. That is insane.

Like, wow.

Where do you know each other from? Devon. Yeah, from our hometown.

From your hometown? Yeah. What, you went to school together? No.

No? You guys had never entertained the idea of dating before?

We might have touched base a little bit.

My grandson's 20 and I tell him everything. He's my best friend.

That's good.

Yeah, and I take his advice and if I don't take it,

I always regret not taking it.

Does he put you on the straight and narrow like my daughter does?

He does.

How are you? Sorry to disturb you.

I'll tell you what, there's more rabbit than Sainsbury's.

Me? I can't get a word in edgeways. He hasn't stopped!

That's good, though. Have you got a lot in common?

Even though I don't appear

to have that many interests with Stephen, I'm really enjoying myself.

Good, because opposites attract.

You are a striking couple. He's a very sexy looking guy.

He is, he's like a rock star. And a rock star needs a beautiful girl.

Yeah!

Were you married? Yeah. Are you divorced now? Yeah.

I take it you've been married, have you?

Never. When did you get divorced?

Not so long ago. Really? We was 18 years together. 18 years? Yeah.

18 years together. It was a shame, because I loved her to bits.

And she left you? Well, I was building the business up.

My work ethic is 110% and obviously,

things got in the way and stuff like that

and then obviously, things happened.

Yeah, she did have an affair and... you know,

and everybody else knows except the person who should know.

And when you see things, it doesn't go in your head,

you just don't realise.

And then when someone says something, you go, "Oh, my God".

And it just goes, "Click, click, click, click, click" in place.

And you just feel a mug. Proper mug.

Cigarette? Now? Yeah.

It did kill me. It really killed me.

Put me in, you know, like,

a depression for about two years, I think.

I just went to work. Did no social, nothing.

But it'd be lovely to actually meet someone and get on.

Millions and millions of people out there,

and to find someone that you're actually attracted to

or fall for someone is very difficult.

Obviously at our age, you have to deal with the...

Baggage that comes with family. The baggage, the kids.

But to me when I'm in a relationship,

nothing else matters to me. What, than the woman? Yeah.

There are a lot of interesting people, and you're very interesting.

Hello! Hi. Hi, you all right?

Hello. Do I hear right that you know each other? Yes, we do.

Have you dated before? Not...

We might have had a little bit of... of a fling! Wow.

How are we doing with the menus?

We'll go with the rum. Definitely, OK. So rums, yeah?

Rum. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Did I meet you in Morrisons?

Yeah. Yeah.

That must be a long time ago now.

I'll definitely want one of these in a minute.

Slow down, don't want to get smashed, now, do you?

Remember what happened the last time.

HE LAUGHS

Obviously, you've not seen me like this, have you?

No, just Facebook. Yeah.

So you've not seen the proper beard. You look so happy, though.

Yeah, I am.

I'll be back.

OK, I believe this one is yours. Yeah. Thank you.

How are you feeling? Yeah, good. Nerves settled?

Yeah, obviously because I know her. Yeah, it's easier, right? Yeah.

When was the last time you saw each other before this? Long time ago.

Long, long time ago when I was...

Before.

A female.

You were female before? Yeah. Wow.

I've only just started transitioning now.

So is this your first date as a man? Yeah.

Wow, that's massive!

Yeah. Good for you.

I really hope this goes the way it should. Thank you. Good luck.

When was the last time you dated someone, then?

Quite a while ago, to be honest.

Before my transition...

Like, before, I've not wanted to put myself out there,

and now that I'm kind of comfortable with how I am

and where I am at this stage,

it's kind of like I'm happy to go out, meet someone.

That's so good.

I knew from a very early age that I was different,

and I just was a little boy.

When I was living as a woman, it was really difficult.

It took me a long time to actually start my physical transition,

but...yeah.

I'm in such a better place now.

Well, obviously, being the way that I am, it's difficult.

For a straight girl to look at a trans guy,

they're not going to know what to expect. Do you know what I mean?

They wouldn't want to sleep with me because I've not had surgery,

you know what I mean?

I suppose I've never really looked at it like that because

I've always said it is the person. Yeah.

Cos obviously, being bi.

Obviously, you'd be accepting of it.

Yeah.

I take my hat off to you, honestly. You're so brave.

See, I've never seen that.

I don't understand when people say,

"You're amazing for doing this, for coming out."

Because some people have had such a hard time coming out,

so, for you to do it and embrace it, and you're so...

Like, you're so you.

It can be really lonely, and obviously,

going through what I'm going through as well,

to share the experience and to share all the things.

This monumentous time, it's also been...

Yeah, it's so exciting,

and for somebody else to be excited for me,

you know, brilliant.

So, sounds funny, but if things were different,

do you think we'd go together?

I think we would have.

Yeah.

Fate.

Hi, darling. It's Gran.

Hey, Gran, how are you doing?

Oh, yeah, I'd definitely like to see him again.

I think... I think he's enjoying my company too.

I mean, she is a great person.

I love people that have got a past and they're interesting.

Obviously, I had a great time with her

and I enjoyed her conversation.

Just no chemistry.

Sorry. It's all right.

Is it one of these Chinese things where you get your fortune,

do you think, Steve? No, I think it's a bill.

He's very monogamous and the woman is everything to him.

And I love that. I'd be delighted to go on a second date with him.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

We make a nice couple, don't we, Kay?

I think we make... We look...

We make a very nice couple, that's for sure,

physically attractive, we are gorgeous, aren't we, Steve?

Proper gorgeous. Yeah, proper gorgeous. Proper.

Proper gorgeous, we are.

Au revoir. Merci.

Would you like to see each other again?

I thought you were very interesting.

But...

Yeah, no, I'm afraid not. Oh.

Sorry. Break my heart, why don't you? Sorry.

Don't walk so fast, Steve, I'm in heels.

I like you. You don't fancy me?

Bloody hell, what's wrong with this guy? Is he blind?

What's wrong with him? Shoot me.

You should have gone to Specsavers.

I know, I should have done. I tried before, but...

They were shut.

Is it because I'm too old? I don't know how old you are.

I didn't even ask that question, did I?

Do I look too old? No.

Try and find... Is it because I talk too much? No.

I'm just winding you up, Steve. I'm just putting you on the spot.

Have a great life, eh? And you. Taxi by yourself?

He must be mad, mustn't he? He is mad, yeah.

That might have been the first time in my entire life

that I've been rejected.

BELL CHIMES

Whaw! Warming. I haven't had Sambuca in a long time.

And now I've just remembered why.

It'll loosen you up. HE LAUGHS

That was just completely unexpected. Off the charts unexpected.

That moment that she walked in the door

and I realised that she was for me...

I couldn't believe it.

When Aaron was Amy,

fancied Amy a lot,

that other woman crush, and kind of always has been.

At the time, I think that maybe she was the one that kind of got away.

I've not felt this sort of glow for a long time.

I can't believe how beautiful this is. Yeah.

So... Would you like to see each other again?

Yes. Yes. Whee!

Ahem. Oh, sorry.

Absolutely.

I was just about to say, I don't know,

but, yeah, yeah, definitely.

So where do you fancy going for a drink? Absolutely anywhere.

Surprise me.

Do you fancy Rhys? Yeah. You are...

..such a lovely boy. Thank you.

HE MUMBLES

# And I'm filled with a love that's oh, so tender

# Get ready, oh, baby, tonight...

# I'm gonna make this a night to remember

# Get ready, tonight

# I'm gonna make this a night to remember... #

Still the same person, still the same filthy banter,

innuendos across the table.

But what more can you want from someone?

# I'm gonna make this a night to remember... #

Hey, guys, just want to say, thanks

so much for reconnecting us after all these years.

And we are off for a pint.

Shut up.

Next time, in the First Dates restaurant...

A lie. A lie.

Yeah, this isn't embarrassing at all.

Everyone is like, "You are a lot.

"You need to take your chill and just dial it down."

You need to breathe. You need to breathe. I'm fine.

I like men who are the same as me. "Shall we go out?

"11 o'clock at night? Let's go."

What music do you like? I like Fat Boy Slim.

SHE LAUGHS

What is wrong with liking Fat Boy Slim?

Oh, my God. I'm Louise.

I'm the older sister. And I'm Claire and I'm the younger sister.

I think we are probably after a similar kind of guy.

I don't even know who is my date. We don't know either.

We are all in the same situation.

It's some swingers' party. THEY LAUGH

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