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1
00:00:06,046 --> 00:00:07,658
Peralta, looks like
an old friend of yours
2
00:00:07,702 --> 00:00:09,289
- is back in town.
- Who?
3
00:00:09,325 --> 00:00:11,536
That guy Neil that you bunked
with at sleepaway camp?
4
00:00:11,572 --> 00:00:13,214
Oh, Neil from camp was the best.
5
00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:15,338
He could pick up a milk carton
with his butt cheeks.
6
00:00:15,374 --> 00:00:16,406
He was so funny.
7
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,321
You know who else was funny? Bill Cosby.
8
00:00:18,365 --> 00:00:20,572
Charles, will you relax?
You're gonna love Neil.
9
00:00:20,608 --> 00:00:22,132
It's not Neil. Why would it be Neil?
10
00:00:22,168 --> 00:00:24,284
- It's Doug Judy.
- Oh, right.
11
00:00:24,327 --> 00:00:26,325
Someone we all know
in a police capacity.
12
00:00:26,361 --> 00:00:27,417
That makes more sense.
13
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,767
Someone's using his
signature move to steal cars,
14
00:00:29,803 --> 00:00:31,303
plugging in to the OBD port
15
00:00:31,339 --> 00:00:33,075
and reprogramming
the immobilizer module.
16
00:00:33,119 --> 00:00:34,765
That's Doug Judy's MO, but it's not him.
17
00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:36,352
- He told me he went legit.
- That's what he told you
18
00:00:36,388 --> 00:00:38,257
last time too, before
he screwed you over.
19
00:00:38,293 --> 00:00:40,129
Yeah, but he returned
the diamonds to me eventually,
20
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,378
and it turned out that was the only way
21
00:00:41,414 --> 00:00:42,918
to get Giggle Pig off the streets.
22
00:00:42,954 --> 00:00:45,174
Wait, I may be confusing our adventures.
What year was the cruise?
23
00:00:45,218 --> 00:00:47,110
Dude's a criminal. People don't change.
24
00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:48,885
Ever heard of Bruce Banner,
the Incredible Hulk?
25
00:00:48,921 --> 00:00:50,251
You might want to talk
to his shirts and pants
26
00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:51,495
about people not changing.
27
00:00:52,657 --> 00:00:55,123
Well, I want to ask Doug Judy
some questions.
28
00:00:55,159 --> 00:00:57,404
- You have his number?
- I always make contact through his mom.
29
00:00:57,447 --> 00:00:59,058
I'll put you in touch with her,
but remember,
30
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,526
she thinks I'm his assistant Mangy Carl,
31
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,278
and he's a famous architect
who's designing
32
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,446
LeBron James' new school
for black astronauts.
33
00:01:06,717 --> 00:01:08,534
Hello, Mrs. Judy?
34
00:01:09,155 --> 00:01:11,331
I'm looking for your son, the architect.
35
00:01:11,374 --> 00:01:13,811
Yes, I'm from... black NASA.
36
00:01:13,855 --> 00:01:14,812
[whispering] Is that a thing?
37
00:01:14,856 --> 00:01:17,206
Oh, my. I didn't know.
38
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,121
I understand. Good-bye.
39
00:01:20,629 --> 00:01:23,458
So Doug Judy will not be coming in.
40
00:01:23,494 --> 00:01:24,452
What? Why not?
41
00:01:24,512 --> 00:01:26,128
Oh, I see.
42
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:27,608
He is dead.
43
00:01:27,651 --> 00:01:30,611
[upbeat music]
44
00:01:30,654 --> 00:01:37,705
♪
45
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:46,014
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
46
00:01:47,923 --> 00:01:50,847
Wow, I don't know how to deal
with all these emotions, Terry.
47
00:01:50,883 --> 00:01:52,612
No one I've been close with
has ever died before.
48
00:01:52,648 --> 00:01:55,635
No tragic accidents to friends.
All my grandparents are alive.
49
00:01:55,671 --> 00:01:56,966
How did you deal when Hodor died?
50
00:01:57,002 --> 00:01:59,422
Not well, Terry.
Why would you bring that up?
51
00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:01,642
Carl? Mangy Carl?
52
00:02:01,905 --> 00:02:03,951
Yes. That is me.
53
00:02:03,987 --> 00:02:05,992
I'm Trudy Judy, Doug's sister.
54
00:02:06,028 --> 00:02:07,343
This is our aunt Patrice.
55
00:02:07,387 --> 00:02:08,923
I'm so glad you could make it.
56
00:02:08,959 --> 00:02:10,510
Doug really loved you.
57
00:02:10,546 --> 00:02:13,480
- Oh, he talked about me?
- Oh, all the time.
58
00:02:13,523 --> 00:02:16,439
He was so afraid he'd fall
back into your old life.
59
00:02:16,483 --> 00:02:19,573
Doug made Mangy Carl an assistant
at the architecture firm.
60
00:02:19,741 --> 00:02:21,743
He rescued him
from a life on the streets.
61
00:02:21,784 --> 00:02:24,722
Yeah, I was down on my luck,
not a penny to my name.
62
00:02:24,758 --> 00:02:26,894
- You were selling your body for money.
- Did Doug tell you that?
63
00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:28,277
He said all your teeth fell out,
64
00:02:28,321 --> 00:02:29,800
and your mouth was just a rotten hole.
65
00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:31,628
100% accurate.
66
00:02:31,672 --> 00:02:33,948
Plus you were sick from
those back-alley butt implants.
67
00:02:33,984 --> 00:02:36,043
- Had to have 'em.
- Carl thought a plumper rump
68
00:02:36,079 --> 00:02:38,192
would help him get his [bleep]
every night.
69
00:02:38,228 --> 00:02:39,883
Yeah, I remember having that thought.
70
00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,208
But the doctor just put
a bunch of mulch up there,
71
00:02:42,244 --> 00:02:44,165
- and it got all infected.
- Dark days.
72
00:02:44,201 --> 00:02:47,296
[sobs] I'm sorry. It's just so sweet.
73
00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:49,951
- The mulch thing?
- No, how Doug saved him.
74
00:02:50,177 --> 00:02:52,954
Doug was always taking people
under his wing.
75
00:02:53,198 --> 00:02:55,304
Doug said you have a beautiful voice.
76
00:02:55,348 --> 00:02:56,697
Oh, he did? Well, I...
77
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,747
♪ Suppose that's true ♪
78
00:02:58,783 --> 00:03:00,529
Would you want to sing a song for us?
79
00:03:00,565 --> 00:03:01,633
What a nice thought,
80
00:03:01,669 --> 00:03:03,667
but you know what, I don't
have anything prepared.
81
00:03:03,703 --> 00:03:05,225
Okay, well, if you don't want to sing,
82
00:03:05,261 --> 00:03:06,993
you could just tell us
the inspiring story
83
00:03:07,029 --> 00:03:09,666
of how Doug saved you
from being a mulch-butt ho.
84
00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:12,792
I would like to sing a song
in honor of my dear friend
85
00:03:12,828 --> 00:03:13,931
Doug Judy.
86
00:03:14,382 --> 00:03:16,363
Oh, nothing better after a long shift
87
00:03:16,399 --> 00:03:17,587
than coming to Shaw's.
88
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,919
It's like Cheers, where
everybody knows your name.
89
00:03:19,955 --> 00:03:21,441
A place where everybody
knows your name is hell.
90
00:03:21,477 --> 00:03:23,680
- You're describing hell.
- Guys, guys, guys.
91
00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:24,986
Are those...
92
00:03:25,029 --> 00:03:26,422
ALL: Firefighters.
93
00:03:26,612 --> 00:03:27,874
Hey, what's going on?
94
00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:29,734
Why is the FDNY in our cop bar?
95
00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:32,780
We needed a new place,
since our bar, O'Brien's, burned down.
96
00:03:32,816 --> 00:03:34,514
- You couldn't put that out?
- They probably started it.
97
00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:36,258
Most arsonists turn out
to be firefighters.
98
00:03:36,302 --> 00:03:38,260
That's not true,
though it is very common,
99
00:03:38,304 --> 00:03:39,696
and definitely what happened
in this case.
100
00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:41,002
I'm surprised you guys
even want to come here
101
00:03:41,045 --> 00:03:42,482
since you have to take the stairs.
102
00:03:42,525 --> 00:03:44,353
I know how much you like
sliding on poles.
103
00:03:44,397 --> 00:03:45,789
We don't like sliding on poles.
104
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:47,835
We do it to save lives. It's dangerous.
105
00:03:47,878 --> 00:03:49,358
You can ask my best friend Steve.
106
00:03:49,587 --> 00:03:51,502
Oh, no, wait, you can't, actually,
107
00:03:51,538 --> 00:03:52,796
because he's dead.
108
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,710
Tripped through a pole hole,
broke his neck.
109
00:03:54,746 --> 00:03:55,941
- That's horrible.
- [chuckles]
110
00:03:55,977 --> 00:03:57,714
Sorry, but this is
a firefighter bar now.
111
00:03:57,758 --> 00:04:00,128
Although we might want to make
some changes to the decor.
112
00:04:00,164 --> 00:04:02,037
I'm thinking some old-timey
pressure gauges,
113
00:04:02,073 --> 00:04:03,423
maybe an autographed photo
114
00:04:03,459 --> 00:04:04,939
of Denis Leary from "Rescue Me."
115
00:04:04,982 --> 00:04:06,942
- You wouldn't.
- Wouldn't I?
116
00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:08,508
Check it out.
117
00:04:08,551 --> 00:04:10,292
You son of a bitch.
118
00:04:10,336 --> 00:04:12,642
♪ Doug Judy ♪
119
00:04:12,895 --> 00:04:17,009
♪ I wish you were alive, Doug Judy ♪
120
00:04:17,430 --> 00:04:20,868
♪ God will give you a high five ♪
121
00:04:20,911 --> 00:04:22,391
[high-pitched] ♪ Doug Judy ♪
122
00:04:22,435 --> 00:04:24,654
Oh, no, he gave himself a key change.
123
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:28,385
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, Doug Judy ♪
124
00:04:28,421 --> 00:04:31,133
♪ You're a friend, friend, friend ♪
125
00:04:31,169 --> 00:04:33,402
♪ Doug Judy! ♪
126
00:04:33,446 --> 00:04:38,668
[screeching] ♪ This song is at its end ♪
127
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,279
Thank you so much.
You've been a great audience.
128
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,431
I mean, it's a funeral.
That's psychotic.
129
00:04:42,467 --> 00:04:43,513
I'm so sorry.
130
00:04:44,255 --> 00:04:45,735
Why are there firefighters here?
131
00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:47,270
Did one of them turn out
to be an arsonist
132
00:04:47,306 --> 00:04:48,935
- and burn down their own bar?
- Actually, yes.
133
00:04:48,971 --> 00:04:50,377
So predictable. But why did you call me?
134
00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:51,507
There's nothing I can do about this.
135
00:04:51,551 --> 00:04:53,422
You have gravitas.
Everyone listens to you.
136
00:04:53,466 --> 00:04:56,292
Look, even if I could save Shaw's,
I'm not sure I'd want to.
137
00:04:56,328 --> 00:04:57,948
This place is a hovel.
138
00:04:57,992 --> 00:05:00,473
The only wine they serve
is from the Delaware Water Gap.
139
00:05:00,516 --> 00:05:02,205
It's called "Charbonnay."
140
00:05:02,241 --> 00:05:04,317
But this is our bar,
and it has been forever.
141
00:05:04,353 --> 00:05:05,485
Change is a good thing.
142
00:05:05,521 --> 00:05:06,696
Just yesterday, you were ranting
143
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,611
about the Philharmonic
adding a second piccolo.
144
00:05:08,655 --> 00:05:10,200
It's too many. It'll muddle the sound.
145
00:05:10,236 --> 00:05:11,281
I'm sorry I brought it up.
146
00:05:11,317 --> 00:05:12,963
Look, we can find a new bar
147
00:05:13,007 --> 00:05:14,587
that's not beneath us.
148
00:05:14,623 --> 00:05:15,836
What about Bel Vino?
149
00:05:15,879 --> 00:05:17,801
They've got a great
selection of Italian reds,
150
00:05:17,837 --> 00:05:19,310
and your feet don't stick to the floor
151
00:05:19,346 --> 00:05:20,623
if you stand in one place too long.
152
00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:22,799
Fine. If you're not gonna
do anything, then I will.
153
00:05:22,843 --> 00:05:24,829
Hank, you got to get rid
of these hose humpers.
154
00:05:24,865 --> 00:05:27,130
- It's them or us.
- Look, guys, I don't want to take sides.
155
00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:28,327
I just want to make money.
156
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,486
Then keep it a cop bar.
We drink like crazy.
157
00:05:30,522 --> 00:05:32,461
Yeah, 'cause of all
the tragedy we experience
158
00:05:32,505 --> 00:05:34,376
on a daily basis, son.
159
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:37,510
Oh, yeah? We experience
plenty of tragedy too.
160
00:05:37,553 --> 00:05:39,232
We lose a man a year to the pole hole.
161
00:05:39,268 --> 00:05:40,687
- [chuckles]
- How about this?
162
00:05:40,730 --> 00:05:43,646
If it's about money,
let's just have a drink-off.
163
00:05:43,941 --> 00:05:45,909
Whoever racks up
the biggest tab by closing time
164
00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:47,389
gets to keep Shaw's.
165
00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:48,650
Okay, defectives.
166
00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:51,350
[exhales]
167
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,917
- My guys can handle that.
- Oh, can they?
168
00:05:53,961 --> 00:05:56,355
'Cause the Nine-Nine's
about to bring the real heat.
169
00:05:56,398 --> 00:06:00,096
Get ready for the back draft, bitch.
170
00:06:00,555 --> 00:06:02,336
Jake, are you upset?
Where are you going?
171
00:06:02,372 --> 00:06:03,843
Are you embarrassed about your singing?
172
00:06:03,879 --> 00:06:05,359
- Doug Judy.
- What?
173
00:06:05,395 --> 00:06:08,802
Hey, Jake. Man, that song was moving AF.
174
00:06:08,845 --> 00:06:10,543
We got to lay that down.
175
00:06:10,586 --> 00:06:13,154
♪ Doug Judy, he's
smushing on the beach ♪
176
00:06:13,197 --> 00:06:15,066
Don't try and duet with me, you bastard.
177
00:06:15,102 --> 00:06:16,699
You tricked me. Now give me a hug.
178
00:06:16,735 --> 00:06:18,223
I'm so happy you're alive.
I'll never forgive you.
179
00:06:18,259 --> 00:06:19,465
You're my best friend.
180
00:06:19,508 --> 00:06:20,770
Whoo, I just went through
a lot of emotions real fast,
181
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,511
but I think I'm back to normal now.
182
00:06:22,555 --> 00:06:24,383
- Should we get lunch?
- I would love a cheesesteak.
183
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:25,949
I was thinking the exact same
thing, probably 'cause...
184
00:06:25,993 --> 00:06:27,734
BOTH: The coffin looks
like a hoagie roll.
185
00:06:27,777 --> 00:06:29,518
Judy, what the hell is going on?
186
00:06:29,562 --> 00:06:31,375
Uh, who are you, and where is Rosa?
187
00:06:31,411 --> 00:06:33,151
I'm his boss, and I want answers.
188
00:06:33,187 --> 00:06:34,918
All right. You know
who Stefano Lucas is?
189
00:06:34,954 --> 00:06:36,046
The arms dealer?
190
00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:38,236
I got word he put a hit out
on me, so I had to disappear.
191
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:40,111
Why does Stefano Lucas want you dead?
192
00:06:40,147 --> 00:06:41,487
His favorite Ferrari got stolen,
193
00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:43,053
and for some reason he thinks I did it.
194
00:06:43,097 --> 00:06:44,533
Probably because
someone's been jacking cars
195
00:06:44,577 --> 00:06:45,969
all over Brooklyn using your MO.
196
00:06:46,013 --> 00:06:47,449
Oh, my God. Jake, are you saying
197
00:06:47,493 --> 00:06:49,029
- what I think you're saying?
- Yes.
198
00:06:49,065 --> 00:06:50,931
- You have a copycat.
- [laughs]
199
00:06:50,974 --> 00:06:52,978
I didn't think I'd accomplished
enough in my career for this.
200
00:06:53,014 --> 00:06:54,064
I know, it's big.
201
00:06:54,108 --> 00:06:56,023
It just feels so good
to be seen, you know?
202
00:06:56,066 --> 00:06:58,025
Wait. The only way to catch a copycat
203
00:06:58,068 --> 00:07:00,358
is to team up with
the original criminal.
204
00:07:00,394 --> 00:07:02,273
I'm back on the force! Give me a gun.
205
00:07:02,309 --> 00:07:04,553
No! There is no copycat. You did it.
206
00:07:04,597 --> 00:07:06,468
Not me. I'm living that straight life.
207
00:07:06,512 --> 00:07:08,688
Terry refuses to believe it.
He thinks people can't change.
208
00:07:08,731 --> 00:07:10,399
Tell that to Bruce Banner's
pants and shirt.
209
00:07:10,435 --> 00:07:11,517
That's what I said.
210
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:12,779
Doug Judy, you're under arrest.
211
00:07:12,822 --> 00:07:14,555
What? Sarge?
212
00:07:15,608 --> 00:07:18,562
You are really bringing down
the vibe at this funeral.
213
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,427
What the hell is that?
214
00:07:23,463 --> 00:07:24,868
Jake got me this disguise
215
00:07:24,904 --> 00:07:27,347
so some criminal doesn't see me
in here and tell Stefano.
216
00:07:27,383 --> 00:07:29,285
Okay, but why is Jake also wearing them?
217
00:07:29,321 --> 00:07:31,744
Uh, because it looks super cool, Sarge.
218
00:07:31,787 --> 00:07:33,789
We look like the hot twins
from "The Matrix."
219
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,356
[both exclaiming]
220
00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:37,352
We are getting aggravated.
221
00:07:37,388 --> 00:07:39,099
- You look like Milli Vanilli.
- Ooh! I call Vanilli.
222
00:07:39,143 --> 00:07:40,927
Ah, I want to be Nilli, but you got it.
223
00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:42,479
- He's the best one.
- You know it's true.
224
00:07:42,534 --> 00:07:44,230
So did you check out Judy's alibi?
225
00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:46,672
Yes, and surprisingly, it checks out.
226
00:07:46,715 --> 00:07:49,001
Last Saturday night, Doug was deejaying
227
00:07:49,037 --> 00:07:50,588
Joshy Greenbaum's bar mitzvah.
228
00:07:50,624 --> 00:07:52,053
That was a wild party.
229
00:07:52,089 --> 00:07:53,834
Auntie Karen is a freak.
230
00:07:53,870 --> 00:07:55,291
Judy, you deejay bar mitzvahs?
231
00:07:55,327 --> 00:07:56,943
Best gig I ever had.
No one likes hip-hop more
232
00:07:56,986 --> 00:07:58,413
than a 13-year-old Jewish boy.
233
00:07:58,449 --> 00:08:00,773
- Mm. So true.
- I'm not buying it.
234
00:08:00,816 --> 00:08:02,658
Probably stealing cash
off the gift table.
235
00:08:02,694 --> 00:08:04,578
Sarge, come on. He has an alibi.
236
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:07,069
Let's just team up and
try and catch the copycat.
237
00:08:07,105 --> 00:08:08,358
A thousand push-ups.
238
00:08:08,394 --> 00:08:09,736
It's something Rosa and I used to say.
239
00:08:09,772 --> 00:08:11,456
It just means trust me.
If Judy's a criminal,
240
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:13,615
I'll do a thousand push-ups,
and since you're so confident,
241
00:08:13,651 --> 00:08:15,004
if you're wrong, you can do 'em.
242
00:08:15,048 --> 00:08:16,789
And a thousand push-ups?
That's a lot to you?
243
00:08:17,224 --> 00:08:18,360
You go to hell, Terry.
244
00:08:18,396 --> 00:08:20,027
Make it 100,000 push-ups, and I'm in.
245
00:08:20,063 --> 00:08:21,663
Obviously I can't do that much exercise,
246
00:08:21,707 --> 00:08:23,752
but it doesn't matter, because
Doug Judy is telling the truth,
247
00:08:23,796 --> 00:08:24,927
- right, Judy?
- I got you, baby.
248
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,712
So fine. 100,000 push-ups.
249
00:08:26,755 --> 00:08:27,942
You happy, Sarge?
250
00:08:28,192 --> 00:08:30,712
- Great. Now, Doug...
- You never call me Doug.
251
00:08:30,748 --> 00:08:31,836
Yeah, well, you called me Jake earlier.
252
00:08:31,872 --> 00:08:33,076
I thought we were switching
to first names.
253
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:34,389
I was thinking the same exact thing!
254
00:08:34,425 --> 00:08:35,764
I was like, "Why not call him Jake?"
255
00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:36,983
- We're bonding, man.
- 'Cause he's so official.
256
00:08:37,026 --> 00:08:38,985
[both laughing]
257
00:08:39,028 --> 00:08:40,943
But it's chill now.
258
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,076
- So, Doug...
- Yes, Jake?
259
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,383
Now that we know the copycat
is using your playbook,
260
00:08:45,426 --> 00:08:47,733
if you were still in the game...
which you're not,
261
00:08:47,776 --> 00:08:50,170
we all agree...
what would your next move be?
262
00:08:50,214 --> 00:08:52,085
It's fight night at Barclays.
263
00:08:52,129 --> 00:08:54,000
No sport attracts more
ultra-wealthy people
264
00:08:54,043 --> 00:08:55,697
with super-nice cars than boxing.
265
00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:58,577
Really? What about the sport
of hunting man?
266
00:08:58,613 --> 00:09:00,006
- You got me.
- That's not a thing.
267
00:09:00,049 --> 00:09:01,507
Right. So should we just
start at Barclays then?
268
00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:04,358
Great. But first, we got to make
a quick little pit stop on the way.
269
00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:05,664
What? Where?
270
00:09:05,707 --> 00:09:08,667
["Hava Nagila" playing]
271
00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:12,801
♪
272
00:09:13,191 --> 00:09:15,016
Okay, here are the rules to the contest.
273
00:09:15,052 --> 00:09:16,196
If you order a drink,
274
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,430
it must be fully consumed
before you order another.
275
00:09:18,466 --> 00:09:20,853
Each team's tab will be
tracked on that board.
276
00:09:20,896 --> 00:09:23,072
We don't want anyone
getting alcohol poisoning,
277
00:09:23,116 --> 00:09:25,034
so if you throw up, you're disqualified.
278
00:09:25,070 --> 00:09:27,251
I never throw up. I just tell
my stomach to deal with it.
279
00:09:27,294 --> 00:09:28,948
My body is terrified of me.
280
00:09:28,991 --> 00:09:30,297
Guys, there's no way we can win.
281
00:09:30,341 --> 00:09:32,169
There's nine of them and six of us.
282
00:09:32,212 --> 00:09:34,214
Five of you. I'm going home.
283
00:09:34,258 --> 00:09:36,085
Although perhaps I'll stop
at Bel Vino on the way,
284
00:09:36,129 --> 00:09:37,566
have a glass of Sancerre.
285
00:09:37,602 --> 00:09:38,958
Might even try the quince paste
286
00:09:39,001 --> 00:09:41,854
if I'm feeling... naughty.
287
00:09:41,890 --> 00:09:43,223
You're really gonna let
these firefighters
288
00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:44,877
take Shaw's from us?
289
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,053
Think of all the celebrations
we've had here,
290
00:09:47,096 --> 00:09:49,431
all the times Terry has yelled
"Nine-Nine!"
291
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:50,468
I hate it when he says that.
292
00:09:50,504 --> 00:09:52,101
He should say, "Cheers
293
00:09:52,145 --> 00:09:53,277
to the Ninety-Ninth Precinct!"
294
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:54,278
[sighs]
295
00:09:54,583 --> 00:09:56,062
We shouldn't be here.
296
00:09:56,105 --> 00:09:57,498
If you're worried that
someone will recognize me
297
00:09:57,542 --> 00:09:59,394
and find out I'm still alive,
they won't.
298
00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:00,893
There's not too many hardened criminals
299
00:10:00,936 --> 00:10:02,895
at Justin Friedman's bar mitzvah.
300
00:10:02,938 --> 00:10:06,279
Although there is a
murderer on the loose,
301
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,439
'cause Kevin Goldman is
killing those dance moves!
302
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:09,606
Get it, Kevin!
303
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:11,471
That's the floss. He's flossing.
304
00:10:11,507 --> 00:10:13,383
It's just that we should
be at Barclays already.
305
00:10:13,419 --> 00:10:14,595
The fights are starting soon.
306
00:10:14,631 --> 00:10:16,300
Rich guys never show up on time.
307
00:10:16,343 --> 00:10:18,476
Besides, I promised Justin I'd be here.
308
00:10:18,519 --> 00:10:19,825
What up, J-Smooth!
309
00:10:19,868 --> 00:10:21,130
[phone buzzes]
310
00:10:22,725 --> 00:10:25,366
Gone straight, my ass.
I got you, Doug Judy.
311
00:10:25,402 --> 00:10:26,448
- Huh?
- What are you talking about?
312
00:10:26,484 --> 00:10:28,461
Something felt wrong,
stopping for this bar mitzvah,
313
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:30,166
so I sent some plainclothes officers
314
00:10:30,202 --> 00:10:31,794
to watch the lots at Barclays.
315
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:33,642
- They just caught the copycat.
- I don't understand.
316
00:10:33,678 --> 00:10:35,232
If anything,
that proves Judy's innocent.
317
00:10:35,275 --> 00:10:36,678
He's been standing here with us
the whole time.
318
00:10:36,714 --> 00:10:39,236
Which was his plan! Establish an alibi,
319
00:10:39,279 --> 00:10:41,092
so his partner can go off stealing cars.
320
00:10:41,128 --> 00:10:42,260
I don't have a partner.
321
00:10:42,296 --> 00:10:44,458
Whoever this is, I promise you,
I do not know him.
322
00:10:44,735 --> 00:10:46,895
Actually, Doug, I think you do.
323
00:10:46,939 --> 00:10:48,288
Oh, my God.
324
00:10:48,332 --> 00:10:49,811
ALL: Trudy Judy!
325
00:10:53,624 --> 00:10:55,278
You still want to pretend you
had nothing to do with this?
326
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,237
I didn't, and she didn't either.
327
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,422
Trudy Judy's not a car thief.
328
00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,807
Trudy Judy's an angel.
329
00:10:59,843 --> 00:11:01,358
She's putting herself
through nursing school.
330
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,053
And nurses are the best of our society.
331
00:11:03,089 --> 00:11:04,200
Name one bad nurse.
332
00:11:04,244 --> 00:11:06,458
Nurse Ratched. Kathy Bates in "Misery."
333
00:11:06,494 --> 00:11:07,868
Nurse Jackie had a pill problem.
334
00:11:07,904 --> 00:11:09,553
Okay, damn, you got a lot
of real good examples
335
00:11:09,597 --> 00:11:11,381
off the top of your head.
You believe me, right, Jake?
336
00:11:11,425 --> 00:11:13,035
I mean, the fact pattern's not great,
337
00:11:13,079 --> 00:11:14,789
but Trudy did seem very nice
when I met her.
338
00:11:14,825 --> 00:11:16,254
You trying to get your
freak on with my sister?
339
00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:17,126
What? No.
340
00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:18,562
I see you looking at Trudy Judy's booty.
341
00:11:18,606 --> 00:11:20,042
I am not looking at Trudy Judy's booty.
342
00:11:20,086 --> 00:11:21,217
Oh, you don't think she's a cutie?
343
00:11:21,261 --> 00:11:22,774
- Don't be snooty.
- She's a beauty,
344
00:11:22,810 --> 00:11:24,264
- but I'm on duty.
- And you're married.
345
00:11:24,307 --> 00:11:25,526
Well, yeah, but that doesn't rhyme.
346
00:11:25,569 --> 00:11:26,916
Sorry, I just get so overprotective.
347
00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:28,187
She's such a good kid.
348
00:11:28,223 --> 00:11:29,922
I guarantee you,
she didn't steal those cars.
349
00:11:29,965 --> 00:11:32,098
We caught her sitting in a
Bentley with a power amplifier
350
00:11:32,141 --> 00:11:34,404
and a homemade override
plugged into the CAN bus.
351
00:11:34,448 --> 00:11:35,621
Yeah, she guilty.
352
00:11:36,276 --> 00:11:38,590
I can't believe you made
us think you were dead.
353
00:11:38,626 --> 00:11:39,977
I can't believe you're
out here stealing cars.
354
00:11:40,013 --> 00:11:41,411
- That's for lowlifes.
- You steal cars.
355
00:11:41,455 --> 00:11:43,500
And I'm a lowlife. A gorgeous, charming,
356
00:11:43,544 --> 00:11:45,084
super smart lowlife beloved by all.
357
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,252
I'm sorry, Dougie.
358
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,519
I was falling behind
on my student loans.
359
00:11:47,555 --> 00:11:48,809
I had to do something.
360
00:11:48,845 --> 00:11:50,446
Guys, if you weren't working together,
361
00:11:50,482 --> 00:11:51,875
how did she know
all your signature moves?
362
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:53,506
I found some of Doug's old notebooks.
363
00:11:53,542 --> 00:11:54,691
Those are notes for my memoir.
364
00:11:54,727 --> 00:11:56,159
Memoir? Do you have title ideas yet?
365
00:11:56,195 --> 00:11:58,953
I was just gonna call it
"The Pontiac Bandit..."
366
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:02,250
- Oh, is that it?
- Yeah.
367
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:03,822
- Okay.
- I hated stealing cars.
368
00:12:03,858 --> 00:12:06,367
I was gonna stop as soon as nursing
school was paid off, I swear.
369
00:12:06,403 --> 00:12:07,636
It was a mistake.
370
00:12:07,672 --> 00:12:09,262
That's good enough for me.
Come on, Trudy, let's go home.
371
00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:11,414
That's not really how arresting works.
372
00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,177
- She's going to jail.
- Wait, wait, wait.
373
00:12:13,213 --> 00:12:14,318
What if we get you a bigger fish?
374
00:12:14,354 --> 00:12:15,904
- What if we can get you Stefano?
- Who?
375
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:19,275
That cherry red 1961 Ferrari
250GT California you took
376
00:12:19,319 --> 00:12:21,190
belongs to a guy named Stefano Lucas.
377
00:12:21,234 --> 00:12:23,105
He thinks I did it, and
now he wants to kill me.
378
00:12:23,149 --> 00:12:24,498
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
379
00:12:24,541 --> 00:12:26,065
It's all good. You have the car,
380
00:12:26,108 --> 00:12:28,283
so I call him, tell him I'm not dead,
381
00:12:28,319 --> 00:12:29,929
say I want to give him his car back,
382
00:12:29,965 --> 00:12:32,027
arrange a drop, and these guys
take him down or die trying.
383
00:12:32,286 --> 00:12:33,722
That is interesting.
384
00:12:33,758 --> 00:12:35,291
Stefano almost never
comes out in public.
385
00:12:35,335 --> 00:12:37,206
It would be a huge collar
for the Nine-Nine.
386
00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:39,552
What do you say, Sarge?
100,000 push-ups?
387
00:12:40,671 --> 00:12:43,169
Fine. If you deliver Stefano,
I'll talk to the DA
388
00:12:43,212 --> 00:12:44,779
about a reduced sentence
for your sister.
389
00:12:44,822 --> 00:12:47,477
Thank you so much.
There's just one problem.
390
00:12:47,521 --> 00:12:49,004
I don't have the car.
391
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,524
I already handed it off to a fence.
392
00:12:50,567 --> 00:12:53,005
Oh, Judy, Judy, you screwed me.
393
00:12:53,041 --> 00:12:53,977
_
394
00:12:54,012 --> 00:12:56,011
Four hours left. We're down $58.
395
00:12:56,047 --> 00:12:57,918
- Amy, where you at?
- Four drinks.
396
00:12:58,004 --> 00:12:59,663
- What's four-drink Amy again?
- Why don't you come over here
397
00:12:59,707 --> 00:13:02,057
- and find out?
- Right, Horny Amy.
398
00:13:02,101 --> 00:13:03,986
It feels like you should retire
that one for the MeToo era.
399
00:13:04,022 --> 00:13:06,018
Why don't you come
over here and make me?
400
00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:07,218
All right, there's only
one thing left to do.
401
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:08,368
Drink faster.
402
00:13:08,411 --> 00:13:09,456
Set a bunch of fires
throughout the city.
403
00:13:09,499 --> 00:13:11,119
- Mine's better.
- No!
404
00:13:11,588 --> 00:13:12,891
We can do this.
405
00:13:13,329 --> 00:13:14,983
Things seem bleak now,
406
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:17,725
but the night is always darkest
before the dawn.
407
00:13:18,334 --> 00:13:19,937
This is Shaw's.
408
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,198
We've had weddings here,
409
00:13:22,599 --> 00:13:23,862
and funerals.
410
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:26,570
Shaw's is part of our family,
411
00:13:27,169 --> 00:13:28,804
because that is what we are.
412
00:13:29,967 --> 00:13:31,081
A family.
413
00:13:31,347 --> 00:13:33,784
And we're not just Amy and Rosa
414
00:13:33,828 --> 00:13:35,351
and Hitchcock and...
415
00:13:35,395 --> 00:13:38,441
[retching]
416
00:13:39,703 --> 00:13:42,750
[retching continues]
417
00:13:44,305 --> 00:13:46,014
So the fence, Dallas, he works in there.
418
00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:47,407
I don't like him. My rule?
419
00:13:47,443 --> 00:13:49,245
Never trust anyone named after a city.
420
00:13:49,281 --> 00:13:51,367
- What about Orlando Bloom?
- I never thought about him being named
421
00:13:51,411 --> 00:13:53,456
after the city before,
and his last name is Bloom?
422
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,502
Wait a minute. Did we just
realize something crazy?
423
00:13:55,545 --> 00:13:57,805
No, everyone knows it's a crazy name.
424
00:13:57,841 --> 00:13:59,190
Now can we just focus on the meet-up?
425
00:13:59,226 --> 00:14:00,724
- Fine.
- All right, Dallas is creepy
426
00:14:00,768 --> 00:14:03,292
and paranoid, and he really
freaked me out that last time.
427
00:14:03,336 --> 00:14:05,164
- I don't want to go in alone.
- Don't worry, kid.
428
00:14:05,207 --> 00:14:07,055
I'll be there right
next to you, as always.
429
00:14:07,091 --> 00:14:09,168
Aw. Sarge, why don't you
say stuff like that to me?
430
00:14:09,211 --> 00:14:12,258
No, look, I do not trust the
Judys going anywhere alone.
431
00:14:12,506 --> 00:14:14,042
Doug, you stay with Jake.
I'll go in with Trudy.
432
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:15,391
I just need a cover story.
433
00:14:15,435 --> 00:14:16,777
We could say that you're my boyfriend.
434
00:14:16,813 --> 00:14:18,046
No. No, no, no, I don't want
435
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:19,855
my little sister
fake-dating some pervert.
436
00:14:19,891 --> 00:14:21,352
What? Why am I a pervert?
437
00:14:21,388 --> 00:14:22,833
Uh, have you ever met a nice, normal guy
438
00:14:22,877 --> 00:14:24,618
that wears suspenders every day?
439
00:14:24,661 --> 00:14:26,096
What kind of person
has to tie their pants down
440
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:27,403
to keep them from flying off?
441
00:14:27,447 --> 00:14:29,161
That's not what suspenders are for, man.
442
00:14:29,197 --> 00:14:30,406
Guys, we don't have time
443
00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:32,496
to figure out what suspenders
are for, all right?
444
00:14:32,532 --> 00:14:34,106
Now, Trudy, this is undercover work.
445
00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:35,890
It can be very intense.
Are you sure you can handle it?
446
00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:38,414
I mean, I'll do my best.
447
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,792
- Who's this?
- This is Deion. He's my man.
448
00:14:40,828 --> 00:14:43,638
Ask me another question,
you simple little barn animal.
449
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,327
Okay, so she can handle it.
450
00:14:45,363 --> 00:14:46,422
Why is your boyfriend here?
451
00:14:46,466 --> 00:14:48,840
Who said boyfriend? Deion and I freak,
452
00:14:48,876 --> 00:14:50,241
then he shuts his pretty little mouth
453
00:14:50,277 --> 00:14:51,645
and lets me handle my business.
454
00:14:51,688 --> 00:14:53,296
I don't like the direction
this is going.
455
00:14:53,332 --> 00:14:54,604
Easy. She's just playing a part.
456
00:14:54,648 --> 00:14:56,084
Pretty big age difference here.
457
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:57,781
- Where'd you guys meet?
- The club.
458
00:14:57,825 --> 00:14:59,348
Deion was a bouncer,
459
00:14:59,392 --> 00:15:02,221
and I told him I wanted
him to bounce on me.
460
00:15:02,264 --> 00:15:03,570
- [clothes rustling]
- Oh, what is that?
461
00:15:03,613 --> 00:15:04,875
Is she rubbing on his mic?
462
00:15:04,919 --> 00:15:06,616
The mic that was taped to his chest?
463
00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:08,096
You should feel these.
464
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:09,793
They're like two baseball bases.
465
00:15:09,837 --> 00:15:11,317
Make 'em pop, daddy.
466
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,753
Daddy's not sure this is the time.
467
00:15:12,796 --> 00:15:13,881
Do it, daddy!
468
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,222
Ooh, ow! Ooh, ow!
469
00:15:16,452 --> 00:15:18,128
Get your hands off her, pervert!
470
00:15:18,164 --> 00:15:19,800
Judy! Judy! I tried to stop him.
471
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,196
That's my baby sister you're caressing.
472
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,947
What? How can I caress her with my pecs?
473
00:15:23,983 --> 00:15:25,415
Look at those things. They got thumbs.
474
00:15:25,451 --> 00:15:27,508
Guys, guys, stop! Where is Dallas?
475
00:15:27,544 --> 00:15:29,172
I think he got spooked and ran away.
476
00:15:29,208 --> 00:15:30,466
Good job, Doug Judy.
477
00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:32,642
You just cost your sister
a chance at a reduced sentence.
478
00:15:32,686 --> 00:15:35,689
Oh, no! Why is my tone so playful?
479
00:15:35,732 --> 00:15:37,473
Why is there a twinkle in my eye?
480
00:15:37,517 --> 00:15:43,827
Because I just found our
1961 Ferrari 250GT California.
481
00:15:43,871 --> 00:15:45,264
Oh, ho, ho!
482
00:15:45,307 --> 00:15:47,353
Ladies and gents and pervert Terry,
483
00:15:47,396 --> 00:15:48,963
we are in business.
484
00:15:49,006 --> 00:15:51,313
Sorry, Sarge, I got caught up
in the moment there.
485
00:15:51,357 --> 00:15:53,185
- _
- Guys, I threw up.
486
00:15:53,228 --> 00:15:54,664
Oh, man, it's over.
487
00:15:54,708 --> 00:15:56,318
- We need a miracle.
- I'm here.
488
00:15:56,362 --> 00:15:57,962
Captain Holt! How are you here?
489
00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,495
You called me.
You didn't stop calling me.
490
00:15:59,539 --> 00:16:01,584
I didn't call you. Look.
491
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,412
You left 17 voicemails.
492
00:16:03,456 --> 00:16:04,674
Here's one.
493
00:16:04,718 --> 00:16:07,151
ROSA: Holt! You got to come save us.
494
00:16:07,187 --> 00:16:08,504
We need a lie to get you here.
495
00:16:08,548 --> 00:16:09,679
Charles, what should I say?
496
00:16:09,723 --> 00:16:11,246
That I got shot in the face.
497
00:16:11,290 --> 00:16:13,179
Ooh, and tell him to bring pizza.
498
00:16:13,215 --> 00:16:14,825
Whoo! Crampon Holt!
499
00:16:14,861 --> 00:16:16,036
We're losing.
500
00:16:16,072 --> 00:16:17,818
- Yeah!
- Why are you dancing?
501
00:16:17,861 --> 00:16:19,646
Oh, I was up to nine-drink Amy,
502
00:16:19,689 --> 00:16:21,474
who speaks French,
503
00:16:21,517 --> 00:16:23,049
and then I hurl...
504
00:16:23,563 --> 00:16:25,652
I hurl... hurled.
505
00:16:25,695 --> 00:16:27,523
What she's trying to say
is that she vomited,
506
00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:29,351
and now she's back down
to three-drink Amy,
507
00:16:29,395 --> 00:16:30,483
or Amy Dance Pants.
508
00:16:30,526 --> 00:16:31,593
You know it.
509
00:16:32,383 --> 00:16:33,616
My God.
510
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,618
Hitchcock, are you the only
person still making sense?
511
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,359
Yeah. It's bad.
512
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,034
So are you gonna make us
give up, Clappin?
513
00:16:40,131 --> 00:16:41,537
Or are you here to tell us to stop?
514
00:16:41,581 --> 00:16:43,191
No, I'm here to help you win.
515
00:16:43,227 --> 00:16:45,194
What is happening? Why is this?
516
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:46,673
It's something you said
on one of your voicemails,
517
00:16:46,716 --> 00:16:48,457
after you had sung
the entirety of a song
518
00:16:48,493 --> 00:16:50,400
called "Shake Whatcha Mama Gave Ya."
519
00:16:50,436 --> 00:16:52,089
You thought you had hung up,
but you hadn't.
520
00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:55,682
Anyway, bye-bye.
What am I doing calling him?
521
00:16:55,725 --> 00:16:58,337
He doesn't care about us
or what we want.
522
00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:00,208
When I heard that,
I was shaken to my core.
523
00:17:00,466 --> 00:17:02,119
I thought this bar was beneath me,
524
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,560
but what was actually beneath
me was my own behavior.
525
00:17:04,604 --> 00:17:06,562
- I had turned my back on...
- Holt!
526
00:17:06,606 --> 00:17:08,260
We do not have time for this.
527
00:17:08,303 --> 00:17:09,739
Just drinky, drinky!
528
00:17:09,783 --> 00:17:14,222
Hank, bring me a Charbonnay.
529
00:17:14,889 --> 00:17:17,304
All right, Stefano should
be here any minute.
530
00:17:17,356 --> 00:17:18,792
I just want to thank you guys
so much for helping me.
531
00:17:18,835 --> 00:17:20,315
I don't deserve your kindness.
532
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:21,751
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself.
533
00:17:21,795 --> 00:17:23,623
We all make bad decisions
when we're younger.
534
00:17:23,666 --> 00:17:25,625
- I was once in a flash mob.
- Ew.
535
00:17:25,668 --> 00:17:27,086
Something's off about this.
536
00:17:27,122 --> 00:17:28,541
I don't like leaving Judy
out there alone.
537
00:17:28,584 --> 00:17:30,071
Relax, we have a tracker on the car,
538
00:17:30,107 --> 00:17:31,413
a tracker on Doug Judy,
539
00:17:31,457 --> 00:17:33,546
and ESU has the entire area surrounded.
540
00:17:33,589 --> 00:17:35,417
- It's gonna be fine.
- We got movement.
541
00:17:35,461 --> 00:17:37,419
Okay, everyone, to your positions.
542
00:17:37,463 --> 00:17:38,681
On my signal.
543
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,108
Hold. Hold.
544
00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:43,033
Hold.
545
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,882
Sorry, I started holding too soon.
546
00:17:44,918 --> 00:17:46,776
Let's start over. Hold.
547
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,474
Hold.
548
00:17:48,517 --> 00:17:49,997
And...
549
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:51,607
[exclaims]
550
00:17:51,651 --> 00:17:54,692
Everyone, stop holding! Go, go, go, go!
551
00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,351
Where is he? Where is he?
552
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,320
Got him. They got Stefano.
553
00:18:01,363 --> 00:18:03,452
No, not Stefano. The Pontiac Bandit.
554
00:18:03,496 --> 00:18:05,280
- Where is...
- Doug Judy here.
555
00:18:05,472 --> 00:18:06,778
Y'all see that car blow up?
556
00:18:06,814 --> 00:18:08,656
Yeah, we did. Why did you do that?
557
00:18:08,692 --> 00:18:09,890
You think I did that?
558
00:18:09,926 --> 00:18:11,286
Doug Judy does not work with fire.
559
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:12,940
Yeah, he's like the Hound
from "Game of Thrones."
560
00:18:12,984 --> 00:18:15,302
I am like the Hound. And you're my Arya.
561
00:18:15,338 --> 00:18:16,509
- Right?
- Guys!
562
00:18:16,552 --> 00:18:18,990
If Doug Judy didn't blow up
the car, who did?
563
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:22,863
ALL: Trudy Judy.
564
00:18:23,631 --> 00:18:24,631
_
565
00:18:27,346 --> 00:18:29,827
Damn, sir, you took
that Charbonnay to the house.
566
00:18:29,870 --> 00:18:31,655
- How you feeling?
- Let me take stock.
567
00:18:31,698 --> 00:18:33,482
My equilibrium is askew,
568
00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:35,659
my vision is partially impaired,
569
00:18:35,702 --> 00:18:37,486
and I'm clearly slurring my words.
570
00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:39,575
To put a fine point on it,
your boy is turnt.
571
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,999
Well, well, well,
there's only a minute left,
572
00:18:42,035 --> 00:18:43,667
and you are six bucks down.
573
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:44,929
I don't think you guys
are gonna make it.
574
00:18:45,137 --> 00:18:46,332
Hank, another Charb.
575
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,672
This one's hot.
It was sitting on the radiator.
576
00:18:48,715 --> 00:18:51,675
[dramatic music]
577
00:18:51,718 --> 00:18:53,807
♪
578
00:18:53,851 --> 00:18:55,940
- He's never gonna make it.
- Yes, he will.
579
00:18:55,983 --> 00:18:58,812
Just don't breathe.
Let the liquid into your lungs.
580
00:18:58,856 --> 00:19:00,771
♪
581
00:19:01,135 --> 00:19:04,992
Five, four, three, two...
582
00:19:05,036 --> 00:19:06,515
Closing time! Cops win!
583
00:19:06,559 --> 00:19:10,432
[cheering]
584
00:19:10,476 --> 00:19:13,914
All right, fine, the bar is yours.
585
00:19:13,958 --> 00:19:17,552
But we're keeping this!
586
00:19:17,588 --> 00:19:18,745
Come on.
587
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:20,791
Before we all go home and pass out,
588
00:19:20,834 --> 00:19:23,750
I want to say how sorry I am
that I deserted you earlier.
589
00:19:23,794 --> 00:19:26,797
I want you to know that I care
about you all so very much,
590
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,102
each and every one of you.
591
00:19:28,146 --> 00:19:30,926
Boyle, Santiago, Diaz, Hitchcock, Scu...
592
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:33,629
[retching]
593
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,675
All right, I have officers
looking for her.
594
00:19:35,719 --> 00:19:37,459
She was on foot.
She couldn't have gone far.
595
00:19:37,503 --> 00:19:39,592
- [phone buzzes]
- This is her.
596
00:19:39,635 --> 00:19:41,768
- Where are you, Trudy?
- In the wind, Dougie.
597
00:19:41,812 --> 00:19:43,727
Okay, that's a cool thing to
say, but what are you doing?
598
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:44,945
They were gonna reduce your charges.
599
00:19:44,989 --> 00:19:46,642
Reduced charges are still charges,
600
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,035
and I can't go to prison.
601
00:19:48,079 --> 00:19:51,082
There are no dudes there,
and I need to smush!
602
00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:52,736
- Trudy!
- Oh, grow up, Doug.
603
00:19:52,779 --> 00:19:54,738
I'm an adult woman
who's horny all the time.
604
00:19:54,781 --> 00:19:57,001
- What is going on?
- Oh, are you judging me, ho?
605
00:19:57,044 --> 00:19:58,567
Trudy, running from
the cops is a felony.
606
00:19:58,611 --> 00:20:00,003
That means no more nursing school.
607
00:20:00,039 --> 00:20:01,214
Good. It sucked.
608
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:02,445
I only went to, like, one class.
609
00:20:02,481 --> 00:20:03,999
- What?
- It was boring as hell.
610
00:20:04,035 --> 00:20:06,018
So then I started
running Internet scams.
611
00:20:06,054 --> 00:20:07,272
Then there was identity theft.
612
00:20:07,308 --> 00:20:08,664
I was Queen Latifah for a bit.
613
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,579
Then Lil' Kim. That was less believable.
614
00:20:10,623 --> 00:20:13,147
But then I found your old notebooks.
615
00:20:13,191 --> 00:20:15,715
How come you never told me
how much fun car thieving is?
616
00:20:15,759 --> 00:20:17,578
Because I didn't want you
to fall in love with it.
617
00:20:17,614 --> 00:20:18,898
Wait, I'm confused.
618
00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:20,459
When did you put the
bomb in the Ferrari?
619
00:20:20,502 --> 00:20:21,982
I didn't do it. Dallas did.
620
00:20:22,026 --> 00:20:24,448
And Dallas isn't some
criminal I'm afraid of.
621
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:26,399
He's my employee. Say what's up, Dallas.
622
00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:28,162
- Wassup?
- Named after a city.
623
00:20:28,206 --> 00:20:29,773
The hard part was trying to figure out
624
00:20:29,816 --> 00:20:31,467
how to tell him my plan,
so then I came up
625
00:20:31,503 --> 00:20:32,732
with that whole boyfriend thing,
626
00:20:32,776 --> 00:20:34,473
because I needed a distraction.
627
00:20:34,516 --> 00:20:36,214
I knew you'd rush in,
all weird and old-fashioned,
628
00:20:36,257 --> 00:20:37,781
try to protect my honor.
629
00:20:37,824 --> 00:20:39,957
How can I caress her with my pecs?
630
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,785
Look at those things. They got thumbs.
631
00:20:41,828 --> 00:20:43,438
I don't need you to protect me, Doug.
632
00:20:43,482 --> 00:20:44,657
You're my baby sister.
633
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:45,919
I got to look out for you.
634
00:20:45,963 --> 00:20:48,226
That's so sweet, and also dumb.
635
00:20:48,550 --> 00:20:50,291
I'll see you at Christmas, sucker!
636
00:20:50,327 --> 00:20:51,838
I love you, big bro.
637
00:20:51,882 --> 00:20:52,957
Trudy!
638
00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:55,668
Man, I am gutted. This is awful.
639
00:20:55,711 --> 00:20:57,583
Is this how you feel
every time I trick you?
640
00:20:57,619 --> 00:20:59,302
Pretty much. Yeah, it always hurts.
641
00:20:59,338 --> 00:21:00,540
Wow, I'm sorry, man.
642
00:21:00,576 --> 00:21:01,977
It must be really hard
to hang out with me.
643
00:21:02,013 --> 00:21:03,981
Well, it's a tough relationship,
but it's exciting.
644
00:21:04,024 --> 00:21:05,833
Hey, Doug, I'm sorry
for not trusting you.
645
00:21:05,869 --> 00:21:07,416
Turns out you had
nothing to do with this.
646
00:21:07,452 --> 00:21:09,987
Oh, so you admit people can change.
647
00:21:10,030 --> 00:21:12,728
Yes. Bruce Banner's pants
and shirt were correct.
648
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,208
You know what this means, right?
649
00:21:14,543 --> 00:21:16,105
6,203.
650
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:18,125
6,204.
651
00:21:18,169 --> 00:21:19,953
I am so glad I lost this bet.
652
00:21:19,997 --> 00:21:21,825
I never find time for things I enjoy.
653
00:21:21,868 --> 00:21:23,086
This is so unsatisfying.
654
00:21:23,122 --> 00:21:24,362
You're not even sweating.
655
00:21:24,398 --> 00:21:25,966
It's too easy. Get on my back, Jake.
656
00:21:26,002 --> 00:21:27,419
- No, I'm not...
- Get on my back, Jake!
657
00:21:27,455 --> 00:21:28,978
Coming, strong man!
658
00:21:30,137 --> 00:21:34,137
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