Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:04,205
ANNOUNCER: In space,
no one can hear you sc--
2
00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:06,340
(all screaming)
3
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:08,076
ANNOUNCER: Archer 1999.
4
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:10,744
Premieres Wednesday, May 29
on FXX.
5
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,849
ANNOUNCER: FX presents
What We Do in the Shadows.
6
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,017
[bats squeal]
7
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,825
That's the... C-Come here.
That's the Baron.
8
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,827
-Come on, Barry.
-Come on.
9
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,662
(laughing):
We are so high.
10
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,064
We're on drugblood.
11
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:31,732
Put the hat on.
Oh, yeah...
12
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:34,435
-Oh! Ugh, no.
-LASZLO: Shit.
13
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:37,605
-NADJA: I broke his half off.
-NANDOR: His bodies' half off.
14
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,540
LASZLO:
No, no, no, he's just coming
through the floor.
15
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,008
Guillermo?
16
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,077
Help us!
Don't just stand there.
17
00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:45,246
I don't think that's Guillermo.
18
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,947
-Guillermo?
-LASZLO: No.
19
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,683
N-No, Nandor,
that's the StairMaster.
20
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,452
The master of the stairs.
21
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,554
-We fucked up. This is bad.
-Where's Guiller...
22
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,423
(in distance):
Guillermo!
23
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:58,426
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God. Oh, my God...
24
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:00,594
("You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing)
25
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,063
* Don't sing if you want
to live long *
26
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:05,599
* They have no use
for your song *
27
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,236
* You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead *
28
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:10,604
* You're dead
and out of this world *
29
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,743
* Now your hope and compassion
is gone *
30
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,479
* You sold out your dream
to the world *
31
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,881
* Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead *
32
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,983
* You're dead
and out of this world. *
33
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,186
*
34
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,263
(bell tolling)
35
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:39,133
NANDOR: We are gathered here
tonight in our backyard
36
00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:42,436
to commemorate
the second death of the Baron.
37
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,838
NADJA: We are having a ceremony
38
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,674
to commemorate
the Baron's passing.
39
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:47,741
Problem is, though,
40
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,410
we don't remember how he died,
41
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,644
because we were absolutely
42
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,846
messed up on drugblood.
43
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,949
And as a sign of respect,
we have decided to bury you
44
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:58,952
betwixt my two favorite vaginas:
45
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:02,656
that of my wife and my mother.
46
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,959
Baron, such a wonderful,
filthy times
47
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,328
we did have.
48
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,996
-(snickering)
-What a way
49
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,698
to live your life after death,
50
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,466
and what a way to die.
51
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,303
(bell tolling)
52
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,705
Did we murder him?
53
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,540
LASZLO:
We, um, we might have
floated the idea
54
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:22,443
of murdering him,
but we didn't do it.
55
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,677
Did we?
56
00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:25,913
NADJA:
Oh, I think something
awful happened.
57
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,884
Fuck.
58
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:33,020
LASZLO:
Maybe we should
keep this under our hats.
59
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:34,988
If any vampires
find out about this,
60
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,690
then it... (quacks)
61
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,492
(bell tolling)
62
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,366
Give the Baron his last sip.
63
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,734
-Of course.
-(Nadja humming a tune)
64
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,570
(Nandor and Laszlo
humming along)
65
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:52,172
NADJA:
So just get him in.
66
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,541
-Yep.
-Goodbye, Baron.
67
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,842
(raven squawks)
68
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,544
Master, there's a raven
looking at us.
69
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,246
(squawking)
70
00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,381
It is a bad omen.
It means that
71
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,483
bad luck is approaching.
72
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,484
-Hey, gang.
-(all groan)
73
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,152
What's up? Oh!
74
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,153
Oh, my God.
75
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,188
Did-did you guys kill him?
76
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,324
-No! No one murdered him.
-No! What... He was just...
-We found him in there.
77
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,692
(laughs):
I'm just giving you guff.
78
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,662
And, uh, just so you know, I am
feeding on you guys right now.
79
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,430
NADJA:
You can be such a prick, Colin.
80
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:18,165
COLIN:
I have heard that.
81
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,701
Shit.
The Baron's familiar.
82
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,570
(ravens squawking)
83
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,772
There's more ravens.
They're giving me the shits.
84
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,241
NANDOR:
Guillermo, shield us
from the ravens.
85
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:29,109
NADJA:
The sky is filled with them.
86
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,578
-No, let's just go inside.
-Let's go inside.
87
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:33,046
Fill the hole.
Keep filling.
88
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,448
GUILLERMO:
But the ravens...
89
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:35,616
NADJA:
They're everywhere!
90
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,618
(whimpers)
91
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,087
There are ravens all over
the front lawn now, too.
92
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,923
They're trying to frighten us.
But it won't work.
93
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,525
-(thump)
-ALL: Aah!
-NADJA: What is going on?
94
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,527
-GUILLERMO: Master.
-ALL: Aah!
-LASZLO: Ay yai yai.
95
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,195
There's a floating woman
on the front porch.
96
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,497
She needs to talk to you.
97
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,371
You have been summoned...
98
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,772
(thunder claps)
99
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:02,042
...to appear before
the Vampiric Council
100
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,513
at the Temple
of Blood-Devourers.
101
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,282
Could you not have
just telephoned?
102
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,584
We sent ravens.
103
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:13,220
We sent 500 ravens!
104
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,222
Yes, but we have a telephone.
105
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,392
I'm shocked and appalled
that you didn't raven us back.
106
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,227
We didn't know how.
107
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,496
You just say,
"Raven, we will be there.
108
00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,965
Thank you. Fly."
109
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,601
You've been invited.
110
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,136
(thunder claps)
111
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,304
(hissing)
112
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,343
Couldn't you
just have telephoned?
113
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:43,317
NANDOR:
The Vampiric Council
is a very ancient organization.
114
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,986
Very powerful.
And, apparently,
115
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,855
very scary.
116
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:51,425
LASZLO:
They travel from
all corners of the globe
117
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,527
to administer supreme
and final justice
118
00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:55,663
upon any vampire
119
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,798
who's violated
the Vampiric Code.
120
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,534
Laszlo was very nearly summoned
when he turned a baby
121
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:03,270
into a vampire,
which is a big no-no.
122
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,672
It's true.
You're not supposed to do that.
123
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,541
But, to be honest, I was bored.
124
00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:09,610
I gave it to an acquaintance
in the Bronx,
125
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,844
where, I believe,
126
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,513
it remains to this day.
127
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:15,215
That baby would be about
90 years old now.
128
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,650
You really fucked up there.
129
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,218
I certainly did.
130
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,487
Maybe we should visit it.
131
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,254
I'd rather not.
132
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:23,957
Here it is.
133
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,694
NANDOR: Okay, so, obviously,
we are all on edge.
134
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,862
This could be about anything,
135
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:32,466
-so we must say nothing
about you-know-what.
-Obviously.
136
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,167
LASZLO:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa...
137
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,203
NADJA:
It is that woman.
138
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,008
LASZLO:
I think she wants us
to come inside.
139
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,676
Hello again.
140
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,246
Follow me.
141
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,215
So glad you could make it.
142
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,418
(clears throat)
143
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,288
-(elevator bell chimes)
-Oh.
144
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,092
Enter.
145
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,528
(whispers):
How did she do that?
146
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,865
(Muzak playing)
147
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,366
-(elevator bell chimes)
-Oh.
148
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,003
And we're here.
149
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,072
And follow me.
150
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,441
How does she do that?
151
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:18,111
The Tribunal have gathered
in the Chamber of Judgment,
152
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,747
and there
you'll be put on trial.
153
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,349
NADJA:
Why does this hallway never end?
154
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,385
Well, it's just
a freaky-long hallway.
155
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,863
I thought the Council
was bigger than that.
156
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,898
-Maybe we can battle them.
-Shh!
157
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,032
GUIDE:
Enter.
158
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,868
Not the human.
159
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,803
Vampire-only trial, Guillermo.
160
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,541
What will happen to me?
161
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:50,077
Oh, you'll see.
162
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,145
(laughs, coughs)
163
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,881
Sorry, I have a...
164
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,583
little blood bubble
in my throat.
165
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:56,817
(clears throat)
166
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,752
You'll see...
167
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,420
a room at the end of the hallway
168
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:02,289
for the familiars.
169
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:05,392
Ludwig will take you
to the familiar lounge.
170
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,561
Ludwig. Ludwig.
171
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,062
Ludwig!
172
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,598
I'll just do it.
Follow me.
173
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:11,932
Watch your step.
174
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,134
I don't have to, I glide.
175
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,472
Good evening,
Your Excellencies.
176
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:21,842
This is Vasillika the Defiler.
177
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,310
Hello.
178
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,312
And I am...
179
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,314
Garrett.
180
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,816
Garrett the...
181
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,317
The vampire.
182
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,351
Simple. Nice.
183
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,253
Hi, Garrett the vampire.
184
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,989
Now, what happened
with the Baron?
185
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,858
-He's dead.
-Oh...
186
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:40,661
-Sorry, everyone.
-It w... We didn't
make him dead.
187
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,996
LASZLO:
No, it's true.
It was a misunderstanding.
188
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,699
Um, as a joke, we said,
"Why not kill the Baron?"
189
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,467
And if you were there
at the time,
190
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,869
-you, too, would have laughed.
-NANDOR: (chuckles) Yes.
191
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,471
Now we realize that it was
probably a stupid thing to say,
192
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,607
and we are truly sorry,
193
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:55,442
and we're taking this
very seriously.
194
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,810
And these are our serious faces.
195
00:07:56,844 --> 00:08:00,614
Serious, serious, serious.
196
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,750
GUIDE:
Follow.
197
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,353
What are you doing?
198
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,622
I'm warming my face.
It's so cold in here.
199
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:10,490
Well, it's an LED light.
200
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:13,293
-Oh.
-There's no way
we could have fire.
201
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,263
The fire marshals
would have a fit.
202
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:20,968
I have to say
203
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,403
we are deeply moved
204
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,673
by your story,
and-and maybe it's just me,
205
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,074
but I don't think
you're guilty at all.
206
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,341
-Vasillika?
-Mm, no,
207
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:29,743
I don't think you sound guilty.
208
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:33,046
I-I think...
they might let you go.
209
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,048
Sorry, what do you mean
by "they"?
210
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,484
VASILLIKA:
The Vampiric Council.
211
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,319
You're not the Vampiric Council?
212
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,088
-(laughs)
-Oh. (laughing)
213
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,323
GARRETT (laughing):
No. No, we're...
214
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,524
-we're prisoners here.
-No, we have
215
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,159
-been imprisoned
in this boring room
-Oh...
216
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,229
for... 1,000 years?
217
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:52,099
-Oh, it's really awful.
-Since 1932.
218
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,734
Mm.
219
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,236
That's not 1,000 years.
220
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,572
What-what year is it?
221
00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,307
It's 2019.
222
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,077
We have been here for 90 years.
223
00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:05,746
-GARRETT: Oh, shit.
-What did you do?
224
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,915
Oh, me?
Too much defiling.
225
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:10,083
They say I turned a baby
into a vampire
226
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,919
and left it in the Bronx.
227
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:15,388
Who would do such a thing?
If I ever find out who did it,
228
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:18,626
I will take a dagger
and stab them 5,000 times
229
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:22,129
with this hand,
switch hands, and stab them
230
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,231
another 5,000 times!
231
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:27,067
I can fill up this book
232
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,470
with the ways I would
torture that vampire.
233
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,041
Wouldn't want to be him.
234
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:37,010
-That poor baby.
-Poor, poor baby.
235
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:42,482
The Vampiric Council
will see you now.
236
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,552
-Doesn't have to be right now.
-I mean, right now...
237
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,622
-Right now. I... They had
a break, but they're ready now.
-They...
238
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,162
(door slams shut)
239
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,771
Hey.
Are you a familiar, too?
240
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,806
Yes.
241
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,607
Welcome.
242
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,920
(bell tolling)
243
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,490
This is the chamber
where you will be tried.
244
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,659
You could hang...
245
00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:29,129
-Hang?
-...here, until
the trial starts.
246
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,798
I think we're ready.
247
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,099
-No...
-NANDOR: We are not ready.
-GUIDE: Yes. We are ready.
248
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,300
NANDOR: No, we're not...
-What? What's going...
249
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,369
The spectacle
of judgment begins.
250
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,806
*
251
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,841
LASZLO:
What the hell is this?
252
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,525
That's very elaborate.
253
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,027
GUIDE:
Since this may be
your last night
254
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,995
of existence,
the Vampiric Council
255
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:05,365
likes to do something
a little bit special.
256
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,968
They rehearsed it for decades.
257
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,402
*
258
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,746
LASZLO:
This is very odd.
259
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,781
*
260
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,528
-(music ends)
-(bell tolls)
261
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,569
-(bell tolling)
-What the blazes is this?
262
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,539
Dark greetings of the night
263
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:48,541
to all the members
264
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:51,879
of the Vampiric Council,
from all the continents,
265
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:55,548
gathered here together on...
266
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,584
-(whispers): Staten Island.
-On St...
267
00:11:57,617 --> 00:11:59,920
O-On Staten Island.
268
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:03,757
VIAGO:
Welcome, vampires
from near and far,
269
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:07,560
to this here
grand Vampiric Council,
270
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:11,064
to judge over
these three accused.
271
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:14,434
Accused of what, you may ask.
272
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,769
-Murder...
-Vampire murder.
273
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:17,805
-Vampire murder.
-Sor... vampire murder.
274
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:20,540
(hissing)
275
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,410
VIAGO:
So that's why we're here.
276
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,278
I'll now introduce
the leaders of the council,
277
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:28,581
starting here with Tilda.
278
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,217
Pretty much our leader.
279
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,985
-She's the one who makes
all the big decisions.
-Hello.
280
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,422
Welcome, Tilda.
281
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:39,392
I am Viago Von Dorna Schmarten
282
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,795
Scheden Heimburg.
283
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:43,630
This is Deacon Brucke.
284
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:46,099
-Hello.
-Vladislav the Poker.
285
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,801
We also have
286
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,269
Evan, the Immortal
287
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,905
Princess of the Undead.
288
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,340
You don't have to say my whole
name. You can just say Evan,
289
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:54,975
it's fine.
-VIAGO: Or just Evan.
290
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,776
Who else do we have?
Danny.
291
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,112
Hey, Danny. With his shirt off,
as usual.
292
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:02,082
Cool Mexican tattoos
all over his chest.
293
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,118
-Dark greetings, everyone.
-VIAGO: Welcome, Danny.
294
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:08,588
-We also have Paul.
-Dark greetings, everyone.
Dark greetings.
295
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:12,125
Great to be here.
296
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:15,996
-Rob... Wh...
Is Rob here? Is...
-Couldn't make it.
297
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,598
-We couldn't get Rob?
-Uh, no, I-I talked to Rob,
he didn't...
298
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,201
didn't want to come.
Want to... leave it behind.
299
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,502
VIAGO:
That's fine. No, he didn't want
300
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:25,205
-to be here. Kiefer?
-I don't see Kiefer.
301
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:27,440
Kiefer said that he wanted
to do it, but he couldn't come.
302
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,542
-He was busy?
-Tom and Brad...
303
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:30,978
-VLADISLAV: Tom, not... No.
-VIAGO: Not interested.
304
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,313
-Tom and Bra... Well...
-VIAGO: Not into it.
305
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,814
They're not committed like us.
306
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:36,850
It's just an availability thing.
307
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,819
-Well, who is here?
-VIAGO: Calling in via Skype,
308
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:43,056
we have Wesley over there,
the day-walker.
309
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,457
-TILDA: Wesley!
-VIAGO: Hey, Wesley.
-Is this working?
310
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,659
-VIAGO: Look at him then...
-Oh, God, not this fucking guy.
311
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,996
He is a vampire killer!
312
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,364
Hey, he is half vampire.
313
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,500
His opinion still counts.
314
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,703
-Yeah, well, I'm only listening
to half his opinion.
-(hisses)
315
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,738
-DANNY: Look at him
in the sunlight.
-VLADISLAV: Showing off.
316
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,840
-Can you hear me?
-Wesley, can you hear us?
317
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,209
-Hey, can you hear me?
-VLADISLAV: There's a lag.
318
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,912
The Skype seems glitchy.
319
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:07,147
-Hello?
-Push the mute button.
-TILDA: It looks like
320
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,382
a little microphone,
it's got a-got a ring around it.
321
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:10,550
-I'm pushing it.
-VIAGO: Can you hear us now?
322
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,253
I can hear you.
Dark greetings.
323
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,888
Okay. Great.
324
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,823
Moving on. As is vampire law,
325
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,858
we also have
a local vampire here
326
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:22,029
on the council this evening,
Colin Robinson.
327
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,430
Hello.
328
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:25,032
What the fuck
are you doing here?
329
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,733
Okay, now...
330
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,835
So why are we gathered
on "Statee" Island?
331
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,038
Because one of our brothers
has passed from this world.
332
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:35,575
Baron Afanas,
also known as The Undying One.
333
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,845
Well, he died.
That's why we're here.
334
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,047
Call the witness.
335
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,049
First witness.
336
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,850
-Oh, good grief.
-Oh, shit.
337
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,953
Where the hell
did she come from?
338
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,956
This is Baron Afanas' familiar.
339
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:51,858
Witness number one, speak.
340
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,861
(whispers):
It's okay. She doesn't speak.
341
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,865
On the eve of the death
of my master...
342
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,067
(whispers):
Well, she's speaking now.
343
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,535
...these three vampires
344
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,638
-took Baron Afanas...
-(whispers): She's speaking.
345
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:09,943
...and they let him partake
of human food.
346
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,878
(vampires groaning, hissing)
347
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,948
We cannot eat human food.
It's gross.
348
00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:16,316
DANNY:
The fuck is wrong with you guys?
349
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,584
BARON'S FAMILIAR:
Earlier,
350
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:21,254
I overheard them
plotting to murder him.
351
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:22,956
(vampires gasping, hissing)
352
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,791
She speaks the bullshit.
353
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:27,127
We simply floated the idea.
354
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,928
You floated the idea
of murdering him?
355
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:32,065
-LASZLO: Yes.
-Not floated, you plotted.
356
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,734
-Floating and plotting
are very similar.
-WESLEY: Wait,
357
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,670
-The Baron is dead?
-VIAGO: Oh, my God, Wesley,
358
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,439
-we're past that now.
-Wesley, catch up,
we're past that.
359
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,841
-Remove the witness.
-VIAGO: Yeah.
-Thanks a lot.
360
00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:44,411
-Bye, bitch.
-WESLEY: Human food?
Like-like-like
361
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,579
-hamburger
or some-something like that?
-VIAGO: Wesley.
362
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,181
We're over the human food thing.
Shut up.
363
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:49,916
We're not talking
about that, Wesley.
364
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,351
You need better Wi-Fi.
365
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,987
Move the computer
next to your router, homes.
366
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,822
Hey, hey, hey.
It's not my Wi-Fi.
367
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:58,191
I got the best Wi-Fi. Okay?
368
00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,860
I heard about one familiar
who was made into a vampire,
369
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:04,631
and now he has a big castle
and he is really successful...
370
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:08,168
My master says I'm gonna be
a vampire in a few days.
371
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,603
It's only been seven decades.
372
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:13,006
So, have any of you
373
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,743
met a familiar
who's become a vampire?
374
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:19,946
Not personally,
375
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,382
never met one.
376
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:26,719
Well, I'll be a vampire soon,
and then you'll know a vampire.
377
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:29,056
And then you can
become my familiar.
378
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,691
Did anyone really like
The Baron, anyway?
379
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,361
-Well, I... no, I didn't
like him. He was creepy.
-I mean, I didn't...
380
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:37,997
-He was loco.
-I thought he was pretty rude
and a backstabber.
381
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,067
-He was a bit of an asshole.
-Loco.
382
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,534
He was a psychotic madman.
383
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:42,869
Aren't we all, though?
A little bit?
384
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,071
DEACON:
He was a whackjob,
385
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,706
he was crazy,
but rules are rules.
386
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,741
-VIAGO: Now what?
-Bring in the other witness.
387
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,843
-VIAGO: Now let us call
the next witness.
-LASZLO: What other witness?
388
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,513
-PAUL: Another witness.
-VIAGO: Witness number
whatever-it-is.
389
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,248
-LASZLO: Oh, my life.
-Guillermo.
390
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:56,716
VIAGO:
Who's this
delicious-looking thing?
391
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,685
What is this?
Is this-is this lunch?
392
00:16:58,718 --> 00:16:59,919
-NADJA: Yes, it's lunch.
-No, it's not lunch.
393
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:01,088
It's lunch.
394
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,856
GUIDE:
This is one of their
familiars, council.
395
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:04,991
He bears witness.
396
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,194
Did these vampires three
397
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,762
murder The Baron?
398
00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:11,064
No, they did not.
399
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:13,266
Did they "float" it?
400
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,002
They discussed it,
but they-they were just talking.
401
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,670
They weren't going
to really do it.
402
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,540
VLADISLAV:
So who murdered The Baron?
403
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,309
Um...
404
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:29,316
They... It was I.
I-I killed him.
405
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,519
-You did it?
-Yes.
406
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,720
(stifled laugh)
407
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,255
It was I.
I did it.
408
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,390
Okay. Unlikely.
409
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:40,293
Don't take offense,
but you don't seem like someone
410
00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:42,529
who would be capable
of killing a vampire.
411
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,264
-But I did it.
-Uh, hard to believe.
412
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:46,065
-Well, I did.
-From maybe
a tougher-looking guy,
413
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:49,102
-I'd believe it, but...
-TILDA: I think you're lying
414
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,703
-to protect your master.
-VIAGO: Of course he is.
415
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,739
This little guy
couldn't kill a vampire.
416
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,941
No, it was, it was me. I opened
the door and it was dawn
417
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,376
and then the sun came in and...
418
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,311
(stammers)
and then it happened.
419
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,713
That sounds very made-up.
420
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,048
VIAGO:
I mean, I don't know, guys.
421
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,950
None of us really liked
The Baron,
422
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:06,386
so maybe we just kill
this cute little guy
423
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,421
and then let
the other three go.
424
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,589
Send his soul to hell.
425
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,391
Does anyone else
feel like having
426
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,494
-a cheeky little snack?
-Sneaky snack?
427
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,496
-(vampires hissing)
-VLADISLAV:
What do you think, Wesley?
428
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,499
Who is this motherfucker now?
This glasses motherfucker?
429
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:20,767
PAUL:
It's lunch, Wesley.
430
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,236
-Lunch.
-Oh, yeah.
-No!
431
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,771
NANDOR:
I cannot abide by this.
432
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,973
-(exhales): Oh.
-Get to the point.
433
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:30,577
-Have you got a point to make?
-Listen to me.
434
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,912
-We're all listening.
-You got...
Everyone's listening.
435
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,347
-Everyone's like...
-Everyone has stopped
what they were doing,
436
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:35,848
we were all about to chomp down
on this guy,
437
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:38,451
and then you said,
"Oh, I'm gonna say something."
438
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,453
-Speak.
-It was we...
439
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,922
-NADJA: No.
-who killed The Baron.
440
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,524
We thought that!
That's what we thought.
441
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,793
-We-we...
-We were all discussing that.
442
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:47,860
TILDA:
You have committed
443
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:51,097
premeditated vampicide.
444
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,032
Pass the judgment, Tilda.
445
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,934
TILDA:
I pronounce these three
446
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,769
guilty.
447
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,172
Raise your fangs, all who agree.
448
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,374
(vampires hissing)
449
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,213
(cries)
450
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:08,014
The punishment is
451
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:10,149
they will be killed
in the same manner
452
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:11,551
that their victim was:
453
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:14,120
exposed to sunlight.
454
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,689
-Ooh!
-VIAGO: Ow, Chihuahuas.
455
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:17,790
(snarls)
456
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,526
Man, that's fucking rough.
457
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,961
You gonna help us,
Colin Robinson?
458
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,563
Fuck can I do?
459
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,798
GUIDE:
Follow me to your doom.
460
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,200
Don't worry.
461
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:30,570
I've coordinated
a secret escape plan.
462
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,373
Bat!
463
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,208
NADJA:
Laszlo, you fucking asshole!
How could...
464
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:37,244
-How could...
-Ludwig, get him.
465
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,280
Dan, get her.
466
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,984
Watch the hands, Mr. Hands!
467
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,654
Fucking hell!
468
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,090
Release my blade.
469
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,059
-Ooh.
-Is it welded on there, or...?
470
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,027
Well, it's for
decoration, really.
471
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:58,164
-Thank you, Ludwig, very good.
-Fuck me.
472
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,999
What is that?
Uh... Hey!
473
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,201
He's a vampire, he couldn't get
an ax off a wall.
474
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,770
Well, you should see it.
475
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:06,005
It's, like, welded on there
or something.
476
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,074
(sighs)
477
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,876
We have to find a way
out of here.
478
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,511
This is the thing
where we wa... Okay,
479
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,714
I broke this, turned right, and
then we turned left to the...
480
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,616
-(roars)
-(screams)
481
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:17,784
-Stay back!
-(screams)
482
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,454
Oh...
483
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,755
(groaning)
484
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:24,757
(quietly):
It was an accident.
485
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,026
It was an accident.
It was an accident.
486
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,495
It was an accident!
487
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,467
So, they're being sent
into a well, and, uh,
488
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,703
the sun's going
to slowly come up,
489
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,105
-and then they'll burn to death.
-It's a very horrible way
to die.
490
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:42,775
-Very dramatic way to die.
-(chuckles): Yes.
491
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,312
*
492
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:47,647
(birds chirping)
493
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,249
(Laszlo, Nandor, and Nadja
screaming)
494
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,625
That's so macabre.
495
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,460
They could have
at least cleared them up
496
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,929
before putting us in here.
497
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,964
(yelping, panting)
498
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,267
(screaming)
499
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,604
(hissing)
500
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,606
I wish I had made more
of my leadership skills.
501
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,608
I could have ruled
many more countries
502
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:19,312
-instead of dying in a well
with two perverts.
-(mouths)
503
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:21,581
I was Jack the Ripper.
504
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,016
I've never told
anyone that before.
505
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,852
And I wish I'd made love more.
506
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:28,287
Well, you did that a lot.
A lot.
507
00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:30,957
-I suppose I did.
-Yeah, a-a lot.
508
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:33,426
I miss my horse John.
509
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:37,163
I wish I was better to him.
And to you both.
510
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:40,166
That's very kind of you, Nandor,
to say that, and, um,
511
00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:44,003
I know we haven't got on
over the years, but, uh...
512
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,973
Nope, that's it.
513
00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:49,509
I hate to say it,
but I think it's gonna hurt.
514
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:52,379
-(crying): Oh, no!
-Fucking Colin Robinson.
515
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:55,114
-Oh, shit.
-No! No!
516
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,984
-Save me! Oh, Gregor,
I love you!
-No! No!
517
00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:00,453
Gregor!
518
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:02,855
-Oh, my love, my love...
-(screams) I'm burning!
519
00:22:02,889 --> 00:22:04,857
(Nadja screaming)
520
00:22:04,891 --> 00:22:06,493
(gasping, panting)
521
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:08,995
-I-It is an eclipse.
-What is that?
522
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,130
Hey, dudes. It's me,
Colin Robinson, your roommate.
523
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,566
-(groans)
-(whispers): Colin Robinson?
-COLIN: Yeah,
524
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,668
Guillermo's here, too. He was
running around, peeing himself.
525
00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,303
I didn't pee myself, Master.
526
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,138
-He was freaked out.
-No, I wasn't.
527
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,808
So, anyway, I, uh, I was walking
by this hardware store
528
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:23,576
and I says to myself,
"Colin, you should go in
529
00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:26,913
and, uh, see if they have
any umbrellas for the well."
530
00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:29,749
Made sure to keep the receipt,
I'm gonna probably take it back.
531
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:31,418
You can do that
on non-food items.
532
00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:34,053
-Is he zapping our energy?
-He's taking advantage of us.
533
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:36,188
-Don't do that.
-Shut up.
534
00:22:36,222 --> 00:22:38,024
Do you not want me to stay?
I can... I'll go.
535
00:22:38,057 --> 00:22:40,427
-No, no, no, no, no! No!
-No, don't do that! No!
536
00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:42,261
(chuckles)
Just giving you guys guff.
537
00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:44,030
Yeah, I'm gonna save you.
538
00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:46,399
You guys awake?
539
00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:49,836
-(bats screeching)
-Hello?
540
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:52,104
(chuckles): Oh, no,
a roller coaster for vampires.
541
00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:54,206
(laughs)
542
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,677
-Oh, no, oh, no!
Roller coaster again.
-Stop it, Colin Robinson.
543
00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,179
And sorry about the camera crew
at the bottom of the well.
544
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,549
You're gonna want to get them
out sooner than later.
545
00:23:02,582 --> 00:23:04,316
They're in-they're in
grave danger.
546
00:23:06,252 --> 00:23:09,055
-You had a heck
of a day, too, huh?
-Yeah.
547
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:12,124
-How long have you been with us?
-Ten years.
548
00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:14,561
I guess that's
the whole deal, right?
549
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:16,195
That, you know,
you work for him,
550
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:19,832
and he eventually turns you
into a, uh, a vampire?
551
00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:23,470
Yeah.
552
00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:25,472
That's the deal.
553
00:23:25,505 --> 00:23:28,107
* Can't trust his kind today *
554
00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:35,247
* Love has died
and death is here to stay... *
555
00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:37,584
(birds chirping)
556
00:23:39,318 --> 00:23:42,288
* Guess our plan can fade away *
557
00:23:42,321 --> 00:23:46,292
* On a cloud so far away *
558
00:23:46,325 --> 00:23:50,262
* Time will come
when death will pave the way *
559
00:23:52,331 --> 00:23:57,336
* Time will come
when death will pave the way *
560
00:23:59,338 --> 00:24:03,309
* Time will come
when death will pave the way *
561
00:24:06,345 --> 00:24:10,282
* Time will come
when death will pave the way *
562
00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:16,188
* Time will come
when death will pave the way. *
563
00:24:23,229 --> 00:24:25,197
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
564
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:31,137
(eerie chanting)
565
00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:34,874
(high-pitched screaming)
566
00:24:34,907 --> 00:24:37,544
(chanting continues)
567
00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:43,282
(singing in foreign language)
568
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:46,385
(woman warbling)
569
00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:48,387
(hissing)
570
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:49,355
(flames roaring)
571
00:24:49,388 --> 00:24:50,857
-Oh!
-Aaah!
572
00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:53,626
ANNOUNCER:
What We Do in the Shadows.
573
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:56,495
All new
Wednesdays at 10:00 on FX.
574
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:00,232
MAN: Five, six, seven, eight.
575
00:25:00,266 --> 00:25:02,969
-He's a wonderful teacher.
-Boom-chicka-boom.
576
00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:04,571
Well, you have
taught him plenty.
577
00:25:04,604 --> 00:25:06,739
When do I find out
if I got the part or not?
578
00:25:06,773 --> 00:25:08,708
You got the part
when you walked in the door.
579
00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:10,209
ANNOUNCER: Fosse/Verdon.
580
00:25:10,242 --> 00:25:13,045
All new, Tuesday at 10:00,
only on FX.
581
00:25:15,447 --> 00:25:16,716
(grunts)
582
00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:19,852
This is just-- This is--
583
00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:22,555
(grunts) Seriously?
584
00:25:22,589 --> 00:25:23,455
Whoo.
585
00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:28,527
Who's the lucky guy?
586
00:25:29,562 --> 00:25:31,163
ANNOUNCER: Better Things.
587
00:25:31,197 --> 00:25:33,032
All new
Thursdays at 10:00 on FX.
588
00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:39,171
(shrieks)
Rocket pack!
589
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:41,540
You know how much fuel
you just wasted?
590
00:25:41,574 --> 00:25:45,444
Oh, no. How much paint
did Michelangelo waste
on the Sistine Chapel?
591
00:25:45,477 --> 00:25:47,446
ANNOUNCER: Archer 1999.
592
00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:50,316
Premieres Wednesday, May 29
on FXX.
593
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:52,719
(record static)
594
00:25:52,752 --> 00:25:56,222
(hip-hop beat)
595
00:26:00,492 --> 00:26:02,394
(rapid drumming)
596
00:26:02,428 --> 00:26:06,065
(beat resumes)
43224
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
