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1
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:28,724
The lizard men will no longer
be subject to rat oppression!
2
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:31,746
Aw, they're not oppressed.
3
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:32,815
We raise them as food.
4
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:33,816
They-they like it.
5
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:35,209
Well, we are delicious.
6
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:37,559
No. You should be free to do
whatever you want.
7
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:40,692
- What do lizards like to do?
- Mm, bask?
8
00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:43,565
Okay. Then you should bask
without fear of being eaten.
9
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:44,827
Well, that does sounds nice.
10
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,394
This will not stand!
11
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:48,483
Buddy, my captain's on the way
right now.
12
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,939
It's funny. Normally, I'm, like,
a huge disappointment to her,
13
00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:52,323
but this time
she's gonna be pumped
14
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,097
that I rooted out injustice.
15
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,446
And here comes the praise,
16
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,361
- in five...
- Attention, everyone.
17
00:00:57,405 --> 00:01:00,277
I'm afraid my ensign
has made a huge mistake.
18
00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:01,974
- What?
- Starfleet is forbidden
19
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:04,151
from interfering
in your planetary politics.
20
00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:06,153
You will be free
to determine your future
21
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:07,937
without our influence.
22
00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:11,027
What? How could you...
Oh, screw the Prime Directive!
23
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,029
Hey.
24
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,857
You are way out of bounds here.
25
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,076
They're eatingthose guys.
26
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:17,207
What am I supposed to do?
27
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:18,687
Report it to me.
28
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:21,298
Now I have to explain why
there's an interspecies war
29
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,648
on a planet
that was peaceful yesterday!
30
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,737
Oh, so you're yelling at me
for spreading freedom
31
00:01:25,781 --> 00:01:27,957
because you don't feel
like filing a report?
32
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:31,700
Mariner, I swear,
if you weren't my daughter,
33
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:33,136
you'd be off the Cerritos.
34
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,398
If I wasn't your daughter,
35
00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:35,897
you wouldn't be such a bitch
all the time!
36
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,812
That's it. That's it!
When we get back to the ship,
37
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:39,814
- you are going straight to...
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
38
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,362
Straight to the brig.
Shocker.
39
00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:43,407
Oh, you're not going
to the brig.
40
00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:45,279
You're going to therapy.
41
00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:47,716
What?!
You think Ineed therapy?
42
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,065
What? That's... No!
43
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,197
It's the '80s, dude.
44
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,763
We don't have
psychiatric problems.
45
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,156
You're a loose cannon.
46
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,158
I don't care
how many lizards you save.
47
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,421
You need professional help.
48
00:01:57,465 --> 00:02:00,250
Dr. Migleemo? Oh, he's the
worst counselor in the fleet!
49
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,861
He just tosses out
nonstop food metaphors!
50
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:04,254
That's an order, Ensign.
51
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:05,473
Freeman to Cerritos.
52
00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:06,474
-One to beam up.
53
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:08,432
I don't need therapy!
54
00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:11,827
Okay, look,
will you stop eating these guys
55
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,568
if we give you food replicators?
56
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:15,700
Ha. I don't know.
Can they make nutrient pellets?
57
00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:16,962
Yes!
58
00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:30,340
Mariner, this report is
59
00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:33,387
a veritable fruit salad
of insubordination.
60
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,755
I don't want to be here.
I broke the rules.
61
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,216
I'm supposed to be in the brig.
62
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,434
Sorry.
Captain's orders.
63
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,523
She wants us to meet every week,
64
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,177
cooking up
some healthy strategies
65
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,441
to marinate you into the
officershe knows you can be.
66
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:45,660
I don't want your help!
67
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:46,854
I want to show the captain
that she's wrong
68
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,837
and then get put...
in... the... brig!
69
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,665
Full stop, Beckett.
70
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:53,233
We need to find an outlet
for all that rage.
71
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:55,235
Have you ever made paella?
72
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,326
Nice shot, da Vinci!
73
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:01,110
- Grazie.
- Hey, guys.
74
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:02,111
Do you mind
if I take over the deck?
75
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,286
I've got a big evaluation
76
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,611
with Captain Freeman
this afternoon.
77
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,047
She's selecting
eager to please candidates
78
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,638
for her advanced diplomacy
workshop.
79
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,727
Problem is, I don't know
howeager to please.
80
00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,294
Ugh, I got to practice.
81
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,775
Computer,
load program Boimler seven.
82
00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:16,168
- Ciao, da Vinci.
- Ciao, Tendi.
83
00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:21,304
Ugh, you simulated the crew?
84
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,871
Yeah, that way,
I can pre-interview
85
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,873
so I don't make any mistakes
when it's for real.
86
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,440
I uploaded
seven years of entries
87
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,963
from the entire crew's
private logs...
88
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,051
Aren't those private?
89
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,574
And it algorithmically created
90
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:32,620
a perfect simulation
of everyone on the Cerritos.
91
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:35,362
They'll respond exactly the way
they would in real life.
92
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:36,363
Ah.
93
00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:37,451
Hey, buddy.
How's it going?
94
00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,104
Don't talk to me!
I'm pissed off!
95
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:42,020
Whoa! Amazing! We had that
exactsame conversation an hour ago.
96
00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:44,980
Yeah. Ah. All I got to do
is feed it a scenario.
97
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:47,548
Then the simulated crew
fills in the blanks.
98
00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:49,289
It'll give me an edge
in my interview.
99
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:51,769
- Ahoy, Cap'n.
- "Ahoy"?
100
00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:54,163
See? I just learned
not to say that.
101
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,339
Congrats on the brownnosing
program, butt-kisser.
102
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,036
Only you would... Wait.
103
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,212
This is a perfectsimulation?
104
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:02,476
What was that?
105
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:03,670
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
106
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,653
"Interior.
Rickety metal catwalk. Night"?
107
00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:07,500
Mariner! You can't write that
about the captain.
108
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,483
Why waste this
on some dumb interview prep?
109
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,504
-I'm putting in
my own parameters.
-If Freeman sees this,
110
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:12,549
you'll get court-martialed.
111
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:13,530
What did she ever do to you?
112
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,531
You say I need therapy?
113
00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:15,880
Okay, I'll go to therapy.
114
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:17,728
Mariner, don't touch my code!
Don't touch my...
115
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,449
Therapy...!
116
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,148
What the hell?
What did you do to my program?
117
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:24,628
I made it into an awesome movie.
118
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,630
Oh, I'm gonna work some out.
119
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,459
-: All right!
120
00:05:29,503 --> 00:05:31,156
-Ooh, nice font.
121
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,463
No, no, what are
you talking about? A movie?
122
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,726
What, you wrote out
a whole script in two seconds?
123
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,946
- I just, like,
hit the act breaks,
124
00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:39,600
- couple set pieces.
- Set pieces?
125
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:40,794
The computer's
filling in the rest.
126
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:42,361
I made parts for the crew
and all of us!
127
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,343
It's gonna be great!
128
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,562
I don't want to do a movie!
129
00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:47,279
That's okay. You were
kind of a Xon, to be honest.
130
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,585
You probably weren't gonna make
final cut.
131
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:50,393
- Who's Xon?
- Exactly.
132
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:51,936
Ooh, I've always wanted
to be in a movie!
133
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,154
Can I be the voice of the ship?
134
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:54,615
"Red alert! Red alert!"
135
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,181
No, no, I got
the perfect part for you.
136
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,574
- You're gonna love it.
- Guys!
137
00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,184
This is an important work tool,
138
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,771
not a fun thing
to have a good time with.
139
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,595
Boimler, pipe down. Shh.
Come on, the credits.
140
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:04,015
I don't want this.
141
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:05,428
- I just want to prep.
- Well, tough.
142
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:06,951
You're just gonna have to wait
till it's over.
143
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,779
Come on, come on, come on,
let's go get into costume.
144
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:09,847
-Okeydokey!
145
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,022
I'm not getting in anything.
146
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,634
Mariner!
I want these credits gone now!
147
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,026
-Hmm.
148
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,159
Wha?
149
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:21,424
Yeah!
150
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,078
Happy birthday, Captain!
151
00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:24,819
I might be getting up in years,
152
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:27,212
but I still hold
the hydroscoot speed record
153
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:28,475
back at the Academy!
154
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,868
-Captain out!
155
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,392
-Get him, Captain!
156
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:33,393
Shut up!
157
00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:34,785
I'll kill you! I...
158
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,961
Oh, I can't stay mad.
159
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:40,443
Good one, Cap'n!
160
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,444
I don't remember
giving you permission
161
00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:42,663
to scoot with us, Ensign.
162
00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,162
Yeah, actually, I need to
borrow the cap'n
163
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:46,188
- for a quick interview.
- It's her birthday!
164
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:47,557
Um, can I at least ask
what she likes more,
165
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,453
when bridge officers
arrive early or stay late?
166
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:51,976
A question like that
makes me think
167
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:54,152
you're asking
the wrong questions.
168
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,545
Good... to... know.
169
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:56,740
Sorry to interrupt
your vacation.
170
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,243
This isn't a vacation.
171
00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:00,420
- It's important
scientific research.
172
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,726
Vacation's over.
173
00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:05,947
VASSERY: Sorry for the short
notice, Captain Freeman.
174
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,470
Not a problem at all, Admiral.
175
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,361
-How can we help?
-We've received
a bizarre message
176
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:10,865
from the leaders of Idlocana 6.
177
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,475
Their president
wanted to thank us
178
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:13,998
for a wonderful second contact
179
00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:15,478
with the crew
of the San Clemente.
180
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,871
So? What's wrong with that?
181
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:19,700
Starfleet doesn't have
a San Clemente.
182
00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:23,486
Whoever second-contacted them
wasn't our ship.
183
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,966
What a mystery.
184
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,489
Uh, whose boy is this?
185
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:27,751
Ensign Brad Boimler, sir.
186
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:29,623
Here to learn.
187
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,015
This impostor...
188
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:33,017
You want
the Cerritosto investigate?
189
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:35,280
Get in, get me intel,
then get out.
190
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,587
And, Freeman,
stick to the plan this time.
191
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:40,111
If this was actually happening,
they'd send the Enterprise.
192
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:41,896
But, you know, artistic license.
193
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,376
Luckily, the Cerritosjust
went through some upgrades.
194
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:47,641
We should be more than suitable
for the task.
195
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:52,559
The Cerritosis ready
to launch whenever you are.
196
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:54,125
Oh.
197
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,692
There she is.
198
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,924
She never fails
to take my breath away.
199
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:56,492
-I wish I could kiss her
and squeeze her.
-Excuse me?
200
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,582
Uh, uh, the Cerritos
is a handsome lady.
201
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,671
You're damn right
about that, Boimler.
202
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:05,545
Call the ship a handsome lady.
203
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,730
Hmm.
204
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:21,386
Captain,
we're ready for your command.
205
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:24,694
Mm, time to take this puppy
off its leash.
206
00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:44,864
The selenium rings aredisrupting
the sensors, Captain.
207
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,847
I'm not detecting
any Federation...
208
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,500
Hold on.
209
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:50,459
- Enemy vessel decloaking!
- Raise shields!
210
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:58,554
Like a rat to the bait, Freeman.
211
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,557
Predictable as always.
212
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,690
- Who is this marauder, Captain?
- I don't know.
213
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:07,084
I am Vindicta,
vengeance personified!
214
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:08,869
At last, Freeman.
215
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:11,349
I will bathe in your blood.
216
00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:13,613
Oh, boy, somebody's
really laying it on thick.
217
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,616
Behold my three henchmen
of the apo...
218
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:18,530
of the Vin-pocalypse.
219
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:21,446
Tendi, my savage warrior queen
220
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:26,234
who comes from a long line
of thieving Orion pirates.
221
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,671
Yeah, nobody messes with Orions.
222
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:31,805
I'll steal from anyone
and never give it back. Theft!
223
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,284
And, uh,
224
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:34,677
B-Bionic 5,
225
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:37,724
half man-meat,
half robot-meat, all pain.
226
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:39,943
100% pain.
227
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:44,078
Tremble at the sight
of the great Vindicta!
228
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,819
And Shempo.
229
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:48,996
I'm Shempo. I was supposed
to be played by Boimler.
230
00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:50,780
Okay, come on.
I don't sound like that.
231
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:53,435
I love my captain, and I don't
want to be doing this.
232
00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:55,219
All right,
that's not too far off.
233
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:57,439
You're posing as Starfleet. Why?
234
00:10:57,482 --> 00:11:00,050
Because I do what I want!
Ugh, you're a jerk, Freeman.
235
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:02,270
You're nothing
but a propped up errand girl,
236
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:05,752
blindly licking Starfleet's
boot and begging for heel.
237
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,884
Oh! Vindicta got your ass.
238
00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:10,321
Look, there's no need
for theatrics, all right?
239
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:13,324
- I'm sure you're a reasonable...-Shempo
got you tea, master.
240
00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:15,718
This is coffee!
241
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,546
I was Shempo.
242
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,200
-That poor Shempo!
243
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,506
You didn't have to do that.
Are you out of your mind?
244
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,726
Freeman, you disgust me.
245
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,946
You're a coward
who hides behind rank.
246
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:27,382
You can't even appreciate
247
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:29,079
your most valuable,
creative thinkers.
248
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,342
I am Vindicta! Today you die.
249
00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:33,562
This Vindicta
is all over the place.
250
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,564
"Hell is empty,
and all the devils are here.
251
00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:37,914
Our revels now are ended."
252
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,916
Wait,
is she quoting The Tempest?
253
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:45,574
"Hell is empty,
and all the devils are...
254
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,184
"Hell is empty,
and all the devils
255
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:48,596
-are here."
-FREEMAN: Wait,
this is a recording.
256
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,231
It's a distraction.
257
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,667
Winger?
258
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,321
Hi. I'm Lieutenant Lemonts.
259
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,758
Your one-man show
took my breath away.
260
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,151
Thank you. Thank...
261
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:05,333
Freeman! Bring me Free...
262
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:08,945
- God, these stupid capes.
So much fabric.
263
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:15,343
Bring me Freeman,
and I'll let you live.
264
00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:16,692
Never, witch!
265
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:19,782
RUTHERFORD:
Wow.
266
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,001
Boimler did a good job.
267
00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,437
Chief Lundy's accent
was spot-on.
268
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,265
Yeah, and the way his face
was all blotchy?
269
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,746
-Wait, do you think
Billups is in here?
-Eh, probably.
270
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,096
So I can say
whatever I want to my boss
271
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:30,967
with no consequences?
272
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:35,711
- Hey, wait! We have to hench!
- Tendi, come on.
273
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,191
Pirate it up. Take some slaves.
274
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:40,368
Oh, uh, you know the whole
"Orions taking slaves" thing?
275
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:42,413
It's not something
I really like to...
276
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,067
-Dirty Orion.
277
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,112
Lundy!
278
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:51,074
Give me Freeman!
279
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:53,598
Attack formation Raptor.
280
00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:55,470
This isn't my first
overpowered space warlord,
281
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,472
and it won't be my last.
282
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,737
Ransom, you think you're better than me?
283
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,826
Better at being
the captain's little dick wig.
284
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,959
You can talk the talk,
but can you... Ow!
285
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,656
Walk the walk! She can do both!
286
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:09,614
- Oh, she's walkin' and talkin'.
- Sir, quick,
287
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:11,834
-what's the captain's
favorite type of cookie?
-What?!
288
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,531
Tell me
before you succumb to the pain.
289
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:14,837
If I were to bake her cookies,
290
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,970
-what would be my best bet?
291
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,363
Cap's got a sweet tooth.
Cookies are a good move.
292
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,452
I've done it myself.
But watch out.
293
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:23,498
She's allergic to...
294
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,240
Allergic to what? Ransom!
295
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,851
Allergic to what?!
296
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,244
At your stations, people.
297
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,636
This is not a drill.
298
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,552
Billups! Show yourself!
299
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:35,771
Sir, get down!
300
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:41,037
Engineering, evacuate!
301
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,912
Andy Billups!
302
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:49,002
You think you're
the best engineer in the fleet.
303
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:50,699
Well, I've wanted
to say something to you
304
00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:53,049
for a long time.
305
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:54,877
You arethe best engineer
in the fleet!
306
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,314
-Huh?
-I love how
you program subroutines.
307
00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:58,533
It's breathtaking.
308
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,796
It feels so good to say it.
309
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,798
COMPUTER: Warning. Hydron levels critical.
310
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,365
Damn it!
We don't have much time.
311
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:06,671
Rerouting the vent system
would take a whole team.
312
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,151
If we bypass the indacontrols
313
00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:09,283
and suppress the sativents,
314
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:10,719
it should function as a...
315
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,547
BOTH:
Rudimentary plasma filter.
316
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:15,637
Wow,
for a random space marauder,
317
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,769
you really know your way
around a starship.
318
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:19,075
Aw, thanks.
319
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,861
SHAXS:
Intruder!
320
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,211
When you get to hell,
321
00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:26,213
tell the Pah-wraiths
that Shaxs sent you!
322
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:28,955
Special delivery
straight from Bajor!
323
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,131
Ah, shut up.
324
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:41,054
Borg head?
325
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:43,360
-Designation: explosive.
326
00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:48,191
-Oh, look!
327
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,454
Oh, Shaxs's earring.
You have to wear it.
328
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,128
- Come here. Come here.
- Uh, I-I don't know.
329
00:14:52,152 --> 00:14:53,433
Isn't there, like,
religious significance?
330
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:55,155
I mean,
some of his ear's still on it.
331
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:56,983
Come on, dude.
Orions are pirates!
332
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,288
Pillaging's your whole thing.
333
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,943
Okay, stop!
It is not mywhole thing.
334
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:03,226
And for your information,
many Orions haven't been pirates
335
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,991
for over five years!
336
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:08,255
Okay, sorry. Look, you can just
be my generic warrior henchman.
337
00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:10,431
Come on! Come on,
let's go torture the cat doctor.
338
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:11,974
Like, really torture
the hell out of her.
339
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,521
Her name is Dr. T'Ana.
340
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:16,176
You're waytoo into this.
This is messed up.
341
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,091
MARINER:
It's the holodeck.
It's not real.
342
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:20,093
-Die! Die!
343
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,662
What is with you today?
This is not healthy.
344
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:26,229
- Can we stop the movie?
- No!
345
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:27,752
No, I'm fine.
This is feeling good.
346
00:15:27,796 --> 00:15:29,121
Come on, let me
just take down the captain,
347
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:30,407
and then we can grab tacos.
348
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:32,235
I don't want to watch you
phaser the captain.
349
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,107
Phaser?
350
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:37,327
Oh, it's going to be wayworse
than that.
351
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,721
I am out of here. Arch.
352
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,592
MARINER:
Hey, come on.
353
00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:43,203
This isn't you.
354
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,639
It is, too!
355
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:50,862
Ransom. Shaxs. Anyone, come in.
356
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:55,650
No one left to hide behind,
Captain.
357
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:58,479
It's just me and you.
358
00:15:58,522 --> 00:15:59,915
And-and these guys.
359
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,703
You'll never take my ship.
360
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,314
I don't want your ship.
361
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:09,272
I want you to stop treating me
362
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:10,882
like I'm the bad guy
all the time.
363
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,145
You arethe bad guy.
364
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,799
No, I'm not.
Why don't you ever side with me?
365
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,236
I don't even know you.
366
00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:17,846
Exactly!
367
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:20,501
Oh, my God. You're-you're crazy.
368
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:23,373
-No, thisis crazy.
369
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,158
Sir, her ship.
370
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,290
- The warp core's gone critical.
- Brace for impact!
371
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:02,717
-COMPUTER: Warning. Warning.
372
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,286
- -The ship has crashed. Warning.
373
00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:14,033
Oh, damn it.
374
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,907
All surviving crew,
emergency evacuation protocol:
375
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,909
Delta Echo.
376
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:23,259
I'll keep systems functional
for as long as possible.
377
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:26,001
You can do this.
Wecan do this.
378
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,742
-Cerritosstrong!
379
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:29,483
Oh, when are you going
to give up
380
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,746
- the "loving captain" act?
- It's not an act!
381
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,617
I'm overflowing
with love and affection!
382
00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:35,532
- Oh, shut up!
- Youshut up!
383
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:39,493
Sir, are you okay?
384
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:40,929
I'll live,
385
00:17:40,972 --> 00:17:43,236
- but the rest of the crew...
- Will be fine.
386
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:46,021
I initiated a rapid repeating
emergency transport sequence
387
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,067
and beamed the entire crew
before we crashed.
388
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,503
What? But that's not possible.
389
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:51,046
No, it's a movie.
You can beam whatever you want.
390
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,873
You can do all sorts
of beaming stuff in a movie!
391
00:17:52,897 --> 00:17:54,377
What?! That is amazing!
392
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,684
- I learned it from you, sir.
- Uh... okay.
393
00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:07,782
What is your problem?!
394
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,436
You've been a jerk
since I was eight!
395
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:11,525
Why do you have
to be so hard on me?!
396
00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:13,614
What? I don't knowyou!
397
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:42,730
Get off my mom, you bitch.
398
00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:45,602
-Oh! Wait. What?
399
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:48,344
You simulated me in here, too?
Not cool, man!
400
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,607
I got private stuff
in those logs!
401
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:53,262
Emergency transport
on signal now!
402
00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:54,611
Beckett, no!
403
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:57,962
Oh, great.
Well, now it's just us.
404
00:18:58,006 --> 00:18:59,723
Yeah, thanks for ruining
the awesome captain-murder
405
00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:01,444
this was all building to.
406
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:03,925
We were supposed to fight
on a rickety metal catwalk.
407
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,598
Oh. Let me make it up to you.
Double punch!
408
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,363
-Double block.
409
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,539
- Whoa. How did you...?
- I know all your moves
410
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,411
-and everything about you.
411
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,848
I know you dressed up
like Toby Targ every Halloween,
412
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:17,982
even when you were too old.
413
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:20,420
And I knowyou actually love the warp core!
414
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,204
Take that back.
The warp core's lame!
415
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:26,687
You only break rules
because you know
416
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:29,516
that's what everyone expects
you to do!
417
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:30,908
If you really were a badass,
418
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:32,693
you'd do the hard thing
and just be
419
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,216
a good officer.
420
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:39,961
They're not casting you
as the villain. Youare!
421
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:49,100
Hey, I know you might be
a psychotic space raider
422
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,015
whose boss
just destroyed my ship,
423
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,975
but you...
are all right in my book.
424
00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:56,760
That's a book
I'd read cover to cover.
425
00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:59,894
Sir, you're the only person
who can see past my mask,
426
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:01,852
and knows deep down, I just want
427
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:04,812
to replace a toranium ops
modulewith ionizing subcircuits.
428
00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:07,051
I know this is crazy,
but do youwant to just... I don't know...
429
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:09,077
Run away together,
and we could get our own ship,
430
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,881
and we can buffer the
phase coilwhenever we want
431
00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:13,255
or... or realign the matrix.
432
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:16,606
We can fix the warp engines
on ourtime.
433
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,347
It would be an honor, sir.
434
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:23,396
Godspeed, you crazy.
435
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:25,200
Ugh. Cap'n, I knowyou've
been through a lot today,
436
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,071
but I made you a platter
of chocolate chip cookies,
437
00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:28,899
and I just want to know
what you think before I give it
438
00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:30,803
to the real you in real life,
so if you could...
439
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:33,057
The captain's allergic
to chocolate. Assassin!
440
00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,147
-Great work, Jet!
441
00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:37,560
That's the kind
of assassin-tackling
442
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:39,150
that'll land you a promotion.
443
00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,587
MAN:
Oh, hell yeah, Jet!
444
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:42,304
Wait, wait. Cap'n, Cap'n,
where do you want me
445
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:43,981
to see myself in five years?
446
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:45,698
Don't answer that, Captain.
He's playing mind games!
447
00:20:45,722 --> 00:20:46,854
You're the man, Jet.
448
00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:48,508
- Get him out of here.
- Let's go.
449
00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:50,074
How can Ibe the man, Cap'n?
450
00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,598
I want to be the man!
451
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,652
-That's it. Keep up the act.
452
00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:05,264
Oh, you know so much about me,
453
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:07,962
but you missed one big thing.
454
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:10,878
Oh, yeah, here we go... time
for one of your snarky jokes.
455
00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:12,967
Yeah, I may hate protocol,
456
00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:15,186
but I don't hate this ship.
457
00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:16,816
I don't hate the crew.
I work with my best friends.
458
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,974
The captain's my mom.
I would do anything for her.
459
00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:21,584
Oh, come on.
No, you hate the captain.
460
00:21:21,628 --> 00:21:23,151
You complain about her nonstop.
461
00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:24,544
It's like your whole thing!
462
00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:26,372
Yeah, I mean,
she's hard on me, right?
463
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:28,243
She's the captain,
and I'm a pain in the ass.
464
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,767
But if she kicked me off
the Cerritos,
465
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:31,551
I would be done in Starfleet.
466
00:21:31,594 --> 00:21:33,901
She's watching out for me
the only way she knows how:
467
00:21:33,944 --> 00:21:36,120
in a up, overbearing, mom way.
468
00:21:36,164 --> 00:21:38,601
Oh, please. The only person
you care about is yourself.
469
00:21:41,125 --> 00:21:42,997
Okay, well, then
why did I let you kick my ass
470
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,670
to buy time for everyone
to get off the ship
471
00:21:44,694 --> 00:21:47,480
before the self-destruct
timer went off?
472
00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:49,873
-Wait. What?
473
00:21:54,182 --> 00:21:57,141
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no! Aah!
474
00:21:57,185 --> 00:21:59,230
-No!
475
00:22:02,886 --> 00:22:05,628
Wow. I can't believe I just
got my ass kicked by myself
476
00:22:05,672 --> 00:22:07,369
and just... Wait.
477
00:22:07,413 --> 00:22:08,955
I guess I likeworking
on the ship and...
478
00:22:08,979 --> 00:22:12,156
Oh, my God. Therapy works.
Guys, therapy works!
479
00:22:15,464 --> 00:22:17,640
Honestly,
that was way more therapeutic
480
00:22:17,684 --> 00:22:19,401
than I thought it would be.
I worked through a lot.
481
00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:21,557
I feel great, too.
I just wish
482
00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:23,405
I could tell the real Billups
how I feel about him.
483
00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:25,082
Why don't you, man?
He's right there.
484
00:22:25,126 --> 00:22:27,258
Nah, I wouldn't want
to bother him. I mean,
485
00:22:27,302 --> 00:22:32,176
look at him.
Dude's a stone-cold badass.
486
00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:34,962
Hey, T.
I owe you an apology.
487
00:22:35,005 --> 00:22:37,094
The whole Orions-pirate thing.
488
00:22:37,138 --> 00:22:39,532
I-I feel really bad. I'm sorry
if I put you in a weird spot.
489
00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:42,056
Thanks. I appreciate it,
and the truth is,
490
00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:44,754
a lot of Orions are capitalist,
hyper-libertarian,
491
00:22:44,798 --> 00:22:47,061
gangster pirates,
just not this one.
492
00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:48,647
- That's why I'm here.
- Oh, well, thanks
493
00:22:48,671 --> 00:22:50,760
for having my back in there.
I owe you one.
494
00:22:50,804 --> 00:22:52,893
Um, so, do you want
to maybe go sit
495
00:22:52,936 --> 00:22:54,285
and look at the warp core
with me?
496
00:22:54,329 --> 00:22:56,331
Wow, so lame.
Yes. Let's do it.
497
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,812
We talking warp core?
Ooh, baby, I'm in.
498
00:23:02,729 --> 00:23:05,427
-Mariner.
-Hey, Cap.
Sorry about earlier today.
499
00:23:05,471 --> 00:23:07,647
I was way out of line.
Thanks for looking out.
500
00:23:08,691 --> 00:23:09,910
Later, skater.
501
00:23:11,781 --> 00:23:14,218
"Later skater"?
I know she's up to something!
502
00:23:14,262 --> 00:23:15,568
What did she tell you?
503
00:23:15,611 --> 00:23:17,178
Captain, you know I can't share
504
00:23:17,221 --> 00:23:18,571
what your crew tells me.
505
00:23:18,614 --> 00:23:20,573
That'd be a real ethical pickle.
506
00:23:20,616 --> 00:23:21,976
What?!
If she's planning something,
507
00:23:22,009 --> 00:23:23,967
- I have a right to know.
- Carol,
508
00:23:24,011 --> 00:23:25,578
you're being a pineapple
right now.
509
00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:28,363
Ugh! Stop referencing foods!
510
00:23:30,365 --> 00:23:31,908
Okay. No more distractions.
I just need to know
511
00:23:31,932 --> 00:23:33,368
what to wear to the interview.
512
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,761
-Computer, continue program.
513
00:23:34,804 --> 00:23:36,458
Hey, Cap'n,
do you like turtlenecks
514
00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:38,783
- or just standard uniform?
- Against insurmountable odds.
515
00:23:38,808 --> 00:23:40,482
Oh, sorry. You got something
going on here. I'll wait.
516
00:23:40,506 --> 00:23:43,247
As captain, it was an honor
serving beside her.
517
00:23:43,291 --> 00:23:46,773
As a mother, it was a privilege
to call Mariner my daughter.
518
00:23:46,816 --> 00:23:48,862
- Wait. What?
- That's right.
519
00:23:48,905 --> 00:23:50,646
Mariner was my daughter
the whole time.
520
00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:52,779
It's a secret
we didn't want anyone to know.
521
00:23:52,822 --> 00:23:54,433
- Uh, uh...
- And if someone had ever
522
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:55,714
found out she was my baby girl,
523
00:23:55,738 --> 00:23:58,001
I don't know
what I would have done.
524
00:23:58,045 --> 00:23:59,873
Probably
kicked them off the ship,
525
00:23:59,916 --> 00:24:01,764
maybe even court-martialed them
right out of Starfleet.
526
00:24:01,788 --> 00:24:03,311
I was being crazy.
527
00:24:03,354 --> 00:24:04,791
-Thank goodness
528
00:24:04,834 --> 00:24:07,141
- nobody ever found out.
- Computer, end program!
529
00:24:09,752 --> 00:24:11,798
Ooh!
530
00:24:11,841 --> 00:24:13,515
Hey, nerd, we're going
to go stare at the warp core.
531
00:24:13,539 --> 00:24:15,454
You want to...?
Whoa. You okay?
532
00:24:15,497 --> 00:24:17,934
- Yeah.
- All right, whatevs. Hey.
533
00:24:17,978 --> 00:24:20,018
Good luck with the interview.
You're gonna do great.
534
00:24:22,939 --> 00:24:24,375
-So, you're interested
535
00:24:24,419 --> 00:24:26,073
in the advanced
diplomacy workshop.
536
00:24:26,116 --> 00:24:28,771
Where do you see yourselfnegotiating
peace in five years?
537
00:24:28,815 --> 00:24:30,817
I... uh...
538
00:24:30,860 --> 00:24:33,733
Just take a breath and say the
first thing that comes to mind.
539
00:24:33,776 --> 00:24:35,517
- Mariner.
- Mariner what?!
540
00:24:35,561 --> 00:24:38,477
- Uh... is hot?
- Excuse me?!
541
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,610
Uh, I don't know!
She's not hot! She's nasty!
542
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:49,792
Ensign Boimler didn't bother
toprepare for interview. Terrible.
543
00:25:02,239 --> 00:25:04,590
Revenge!
544
00:25:04,633 --> 00:25:06,548
-Not-a today.
545
00:25:06,592 --> 00:25:09,725
Not-a on-a da Vinci's watch.
546
00:27:04,187 --> 00:27:06,146
Chirp.
40342
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